Newspaper Page Text
uklng Wllhonl Seeing.
s you are nn exception to the
if you are, uot you have prob-
mny occasions. Just after look-
■ or watcli, been forced to ac-
;c to a friend who asked you
tlmt yon dirt not know what It
you undoubtedly took your
out of your pocket, looked at
and carefully replaced it in
ket. showing a logical se-
f thought aud a well ileflued
g a sufficiently distinct Im-
your mind to satisfy your
•miosity ns to the hour of the
. motion was not an involute
like that of the hoy who cnit-
ftet: admire his Urst chroiioin-
ct habitual, for few pei-sons
!y in tiie habit of taking out
tches. One dues so only for a
impose.
may this seeming contra-
(. accounted for? Perhaps the
s that not once in ten times
nn look at his watch to see
actual time Is. hut rather to
A Criminal.
A Mend of mine, the minister of a
west end chapel in London, tells how,
In his last visit to America, he preach*
ed 1U one of'the larger Jails aud after
the service visited some of the prison*
ers lu their cells. One case Interested
him especially, a man of good educa*
tion and address and seemingly of
abilities fitted to command i^cccss In
the world. My friend gave vent to his
ikn, Gilbert Lost Her Spec
tacles.
The only time I resented newspaper
chatter was when I had tny spectacles
stolen. They were snatched from my
belt, the case I wor<r there being torn
away. I spoke of It to Mr. Doruey. and
the story weut round the theater. Some
how the reporters got hold of It. and
they made a great to do about IL It
wus really too had of them. I felt It
did not, however, result
sincere distress at finding sfleh n man * 1 the more because I had managed to
In such a position and was going on to keep a much more serious theft an al)
“improve the occasion” when the prh- solute secret. That was at the time
oner cut In with the remark that he when so mueb-fun was being made of
believed in England we were fond of the “robbery of Jewels” form of the
fox hunting. ! atrlcnl advertisement. I had a very
My frloud, regarding It as a broad J valuable pair of earrings taken from
hint to change the subject, assented.
“Aud may I ask,” said his compan
ion, “when a man gets a fali, does lie
give up hunting?” Aud on getting the
only possible answer to such u ques
tion he added, “I have had a bad fall,
and no mistake, hut I count ou better
luck another time.”
This ease Is thoroughly typical. The
true professional Is uot n weak crea
ture who yields to uncontrollable 1m-
tny pocket most cleverly, and I was ou
my way to play for a charily too'
However. I kept my loss quite to my
self. And then to he brought before a
sympathetic public asp the loser of ti
pair of spectacles!— Prom “The 8tage
Reminiscences of Mrs. Oilbert” if
Scribner's.
ether he alii! has time to ac- , , , . , . , ,
I pulse. Loving a life of adventure and
some purpose. He may want if, , , , ,
1 having a soul above working for his
living, he pursues a life of crime with
a full appreciation of Its risks.
Chauge those risks to certainties, and
you at once supply a motive adequate
to influence his course. If every* fox
hunter ended by brenklng his neck, fox
hunting would he shunned, save by a
few desperate men, nnd the same
would he true of professional crime of
this character If It always ended In
disaster.—Nineteenth Century.
appointment at a certain
to he sure uot to miss a boat
When lie takes out his watch.
, lie Instinctively looks for
4 in the position called for by
Iculnr moment, and when he
i they have not yet reached
ie returns the watch to Its
lace, with his mind relieved,
position of the hands real
part at nil In- the opera-
when the time is asked of
is unable to reply. In other
• accomplishes the paradoxical
tetitly looking at a thing witb-
• seeing It.
utite With a Telescope.
neil observation With the tele-
tlie Yerlsos observatory re
lic unpleasant existence of n
ltrlons streaks of light run-
izontnlly. whose appearance
linly never been noticed be-
gnve rise to redoubled un-
And yet everything seemed
U the glass viewed externally
most searching Investigation
cover no cause,
in desperation the eyepiece
unscrewed, and Professor
, tiie slimmest of the party,
on to crawl, as lie well could
in tiie tube Itself, and see If
discover aught amiss. He
iiit well enough, so wide is the
lie got beyond the center,
• telescope began to turn over
weight, and he would Imve
a oti tiie toji of the glass had
tiicr end been promptly seized
Inst. Then he continued Ids
mid In another moment laid
i tiie unsuspected author of
id', an over!niliistTious spider
'ipially hardworking progeny;
succeeded In tilling up tiie
1 of tiie tube with a mass of
in tiie hope of cntclilug wbilt
e been wholly Imaginary Hies,
and their spiders were cure
eved. and. from that day to
eliavlor of the Yerkes -to Inch
been all that heart could de-
J Words.
Worked the Ptiaaenger*.
An amusing scene was witnessed one
day on one of tiie mail boats running
from Calais to Dover. The sea was
rather rough. A young woman, pretty
and nicely dressed, appeared to be sud
denly taken very ill with seasickness.
She groaned and screamed lu apparent
agony for some little time.
At length a person who nppedred to
be a stranger to her approached aud
asked whether she would like to take
a lozenge,. which he guaranteed would
ease her pain. He had often tried it.
he said, on people and always with the
most marvelous results. Tiie young
lady demurred n little at first, but
finally accepted the offer Never was
cure so instantaneous. Hardly had she
swallowed the lozenge than the fair
George Washington** totlfry.
It is not generally knowu that the
great Fn'ther of His Country was on
at least one occasion the originator of
a lottery, the like Of which at the pres
ent duy would he forbidden to. send Its
tickets through the malls. That Georg
Washington wns Interested In such a
scheme is proved by a number of tick
ets still In existence which bear bis
august name'. It wns the Mountain
Rond lottery of which George was thr
promoter, and It 1^, of course, unnec
essary to state that Washington him
self did not financially profit from It
All the funds raised by the lotter.-
were spent In building the rone
through Cumberland gap, near Fred
ericksliurg. Va. Originally the lottery
tickets which Washington signed wer ■
worth $1 each. Now, been use they hen
his signature, they are easily sold fo
$30 apiece, though It Is certain tha
not oue of them will ever draw a prlzi
NO ! BUSINESS
Can be properly run without being
Advertised,
Whnt They Made.
A certain father is possessed of ;
pair of exceedingly bright girl ehil
dren. The other day his eldest dnugii
ter, Alice, was putting her younger
sister, surname Gretclien, through
some arithmetical paces, nnd the
father was an amused llstenc;
“Gretchun, how much do 12 and 1
make?” was the form of one query
aud, being correctly nnswered; othpi
patient was sitting up all smiles and , and similar questions followed encli
other in quick succession.
In!
Rest nmUSxerelse.
M. ICvarts was a marvel of
ill vitality to an advanced
lie used to explain It liy say-
tie slept late in the morning
r took any exercise. There
antage lu getting up early in
ing if you need tiie sleep,
nan is hunting the caudle at
- by getting up at an early
plv In-cause Ids housekeeping
I to that programme. As to
xercise. Mr. Evans had dis-
|or himself what our pliyslolo-
now beginning to tench—
lint If a man consumes tissue
eliectiiul work the way to
loss is by resting nnd not
alng more tissue in physical
lo the majority of brain
xvgeiiizntloii of the blood Is
important than physical excr-
H'cre are two very good ways
Unit: Sleep with your lied-
i low wide open in summer
and, if you can afford it,
i‘ and drive lu the open air.
d an hiiiau.
ordering ham sandwiches of the stew
ard.
Some pnssengers were
with the iucldent that they Inquired
whnt wns the remedy that had had
such a wonderful result, and the gen-
tlemnn, who, ns he said, was the agent
for the sale of tiie lozenges, disposed
of a considerable number of boxes 'of
them at 10 francs apiece. What was
the surprise of the purchasers wlieu
they saw the young lady and her pre
server go off arm in arm ou the vessel
renchlng Dover! The boxes contained
common jujubes.—Loudon Telegraph.
| Tiie father believing the younger
struck | daughter wns doing too much of the
work thought he would put bis first
born up n tree, and so he broke In with
a problem of ills own Invention
“Alice,” he queried solemnly, “how
much do yob nml Gretclien make?”
Without an Instant's hesitation enmi
the reply:
“Gretclien nnd I. pop. make you n
proud and happy father.”—Exchange.
VVliUt Story.
r,r| l Tlmnet was Imprisoned
'•r of London for the O't'ou-
''V of ills friends, the Duke
the Duke of Laval and
’eith. were admitted to play
An Officious Sexton.
There is an Irish clergyman of our,
acquaintance who has deservedly a
considerable local reputation ns a wit
and story teller. He sees everything
from tiie humorous side. His appear
ance, his voice nnd mauijer are all
mirth provoking, especially his laugh.
The present writer heard him speak
lately of his sexton, who appears to be
an original. A lady, a stranger to the
place, asked him if there were daily
matins lu the church. “No, madam,”
he replied, “we can’t afford that, but
we put down cocoanut every Sunday.”
This official is close at hand at nil
baptisms and marriages and Instinct
ively answers all the questions asked
of sponsors and couples being mar
ried, so that the rector says he is god
father to Innumerable children nnd has
married himself to a considerable num
ber of brides, for when the question is
put, “Wilt thou have this woman to be
thy wedded wife?” he always audibly
answers, “I will.” It may be truly
said “this is very Irish,” for so it is.
Indeed, we have been told of a case in
which a young lady about to lie mar
ried in the church which this sexton
serves made It a proviso that he should
be churged to keep his distance dur
ing the ceremony.—Exchunge.
lb'.. v •
Out of Children** Sloolha.
The teacher of a Sabbath school clnss,
i says The Christian Register, npproacb-
| ed one little fellow who was present
for the first time and inquired his
' name, for the purpose of placing it on
the roll. "Well,” said the youngster,
, “they call me Jimmie for short, but
my maiden name is James.”
The Man nnd the Rope.
A Chinauiau who tiad been condemn
•d to wear the enngue, or wooden col
lar, was seen by some of his friends.
“What have you been doing,” the,'
asked, “to deserve this?”
"Oh. nothing.” he replied. “I only
picked up an old piece of rope."
“And are you to be punished tints so
verely.”' they asked, “for merely pick
Ing up an end of rope?”
“Well," nnswered tiie man, “the fact
Is there was a bullock tied to the otltei
cud.”—II. A. Giles’ “History of Chinesi
Literature.”
Ac Rn«> Matter.
“The reason some men don’t get
along happily," said Mr. Meekton. “lit
that they don’t know how to manage a
wife."
“You know this?" was the skeptical
query.
“Certainly. It Is the simplest thing
In the world. All you have to do is to
say ‘yes’ whenever she wants any
tiling aud always let her have her own
way.”—Washington Star.
And no advertising pays better thah
newspaper advertising. The news
paper goes into the homes of the
people nnd is read through. If bar*
gains are offered, they make a note
of it.
TIE SEARCH-LIGHT
a first-class advertising medium,
HI* Rrrommrpilafloii,
Tom—Hello. Hilll I hear you have a
position with my friends, Skiuner &
Co ?
Rill-Oh. yes: 1 have a position ascoi
lector there.
Tolu—That’s first rate. Who recorn
mended you?
Rill—Oh. nobody. I *oJ<l them that 1
once collected an account from you.
and they Instantly gave me the place
—London Fun.
[*' liim and remain till the j This is a good mate for the naive and
somewhat boastful statement ot a lit-
Tli; girl in a Buffalo household who as
sured a playmate that she not oDly had
two maiden aunts, hut a maiden graud-
, mother!
She Hod Walled For M.
He (about to ask for a kiss)—I have , P llla riss ;
i an Important question to ask you.
j She (playfully)—I kDow what It Is,
George. Yon want me to he your wife.
I Well, take me.
V r . ! He (rather taken aback)—This is
’ - - . >rar y* ra -' 60t1, a somewhat sudden. Isn’t It?
She (tenderly i - I don’t know. George,
whether ti is sudden for yon or n"t but
l have wa t-il f<» it fur Croc years.--
I- ,.*l"i> . «««••
l:r of 11. Early in the sit-
1,1 s mith fell buck In a lit
' i" 11 ! one of the party rose
! "1;> ’‘Stop’’’ tried another.
lle turned out If yon make
< t our friend nloue until 11.
'lummy, and be II he none
for l tan read death lu bis
vni’.r the Case.
•ildo-Papa, what Is a 11-
ef books which a man
Hnr*aer's Razor
1- ‘it' tiff's as much
Inconsistent.
“You are a most inconsistent wom
an,” said Henppck. turning at last.
"I am. eh?" she retorted. “How?”
“You Insist upon having and using
only the most expensive things, and
yet"—
“Well? You certainly never objrrted
\o that?”
“No. but do be consistent. Don’t use
so much talk. It’s cheap.”—Phihfcel-
Swindled.
! “The saddest. inorffbllghted life case
i I ever knew.” said the major, “was
| that of a man who received a life pass
j over a new railroad.”
| “How wns tinii ?** asked the eolonel.
"Why. the was i-s-nt-d before
n- was n ‘ti! !:•: ! I'.;,-: • !ju ■ •■■■
» . i; ’ i 1 .' .1 i -. t ■: ^wiii'li* •'
*,or •• i.-.J iikalv: .* ?
As it is read by the people very
generally in this county and by
many hi adjoining counties.
PUT AN AD. IN
And work up your business to a
i * *
payin point.
Job Work
Our hook and job office is busy turn-
ini' out first-class job work all the
time, and \ye propose to give satis*
faction at reasonable prices.
If yon need anything in the job
printing line, write to us or see us
before placing your order.
It will pay you.
HSSFSCTF'OXX.’S
THE SEAI-CE-LISET.