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A CHINESE STRATAGEM.
Legend of How a Projected Invasion
Was Averted.
Rajah Suran, who was oue of the
of India, overrun the
Uptlre east with the exception of Chi
na. killed innumerable sultans with his
own hand and married all their daugh
ters. It is said that when the Chinese
heard of his triumphant progress and
learned that he had reached their
frontier they became much alarmed.
The emperor called a council of his
generals and mandarins, and upon the
advice of a crafty old mandat in the
following strntegem was carried out:
A large ship was loaded with rusty
nails, trees were planted on tln> deck,
'.the vestal was manned by n numerous
crew of old men and dispatched to the
rajah's capital. When it arrived -the
most wonderful part of the story i
that it 3id arrive—the rajah sent an
officer to ask how long it had taken
the t essel to make the trip from China.
The Chinamen answered that they had
all been young men when they set sail
and that on the voyage they had plant
ed the seeds from which the great
trees had grown. In corroboration of
their story they pointed to the rusty
nails which. they said, had been stout
irou bars as thick as a man's arm when
they started. “You can see," tgthey
“concluded, -'‘that China must be a very
long distance away."
The rajah was so much impressed
by these plausible arguments that he
concluded he would not live long
enough to reach China and abandoned
his projected invasion.
SNEEZING.
It Must Have Been a Violent Operation
Before Jacob’s Time.
We frequently hear the expression
"God bless you!" uttered after some
one has sneezed.. The expression, if
we can believe Clodd in his "Child
hood of the World,” dates back to the
time of Jacob. We are told in Jewish
literature that previous to his time
men sneezed but once in a lifetime
and that was the end of them, for the
shock slew them. Jacob prevailed in
prayer and had the fatality set aside
on the condition that among all the
nations a sneeze should, be hallowed
by the words “God bless you!” In the
“Jataka,” one* of the books oi tbo
Buddhist Scriptures, w<e rend that the
expression was, "May the blessed Lord
allow you to live!”
Buddha on one occasion i bile
preaching to his disciples hapnonc 1 to
sneeze. The priests gave vent to the
exclamation, and Buddha lectured
them for interrupting his discourse.
“if when a person sneezes,” he ask
ed, “ami you say. ‘May he live.’ will
he live the longer?”
“Certainly not!" cried the priests.
“Aud if you do not say it will he
die any the sooner?"
“Certainly not!” was the reply.
“Then,” said Buddha, “from this
time forth if any one sneeze aud a
priest says 'May you live’ he shall be
guilty of a transgression.”—London
Spectator.
The Kind Caddie.
“Dnce in a game," said the golfer.
“I had the good fortune to be six
holes up on my opponent by the time
the eigth hole was reached. At the
eighth green something went wrong
with our reckoning of the strokes,
and I claimed that I had won that
hole, too, while my opponent claimed
that it was halved. After a mild dis
pute I yielded.
“But as I moved on with my caddie
I couldn’t help grumbling:
“ ‘Well, you know, Joseph. I gave in.
But I still think 1 won that hole after
all.’
“The boy.- with a frown, turned
shocked and reproving eyes on me.
Disgusted with my greed for holes, he
whispered hurriedly, so that my op
ponent should not overhear:
“‘Shut up. can’t you? Do ye want
to break the man's heart?'" Ex
change.
Laughter.
Overindulgence in laughter is repro
bated by Emerson. Explosions of it.
he says, should be under strict control,
and he quotes approvingly the saying
of Lord Chesterfield, "1 am sure that
since I had the use of my reason no hu
man being has ever heard me laugh.”
But Emerson is not altogether consist
ent in this matter, for. whereas in one
passage he refers to laughter as a
“contemptible squeal of joy.” in an
other it becomes a “pleasant spasm.'
and he gratefully acknowledges “the
rest and refreshment we get from the
shaking of the sides.” Moreover, he
admits that “to see a man in a high
wind run after his hat Is always droll."
Presumably If the man Is bald and the
road Is muddy even Chesterfield might
be led to emit a contemptible squeal.—
London Chronicle.
Invisible Dogs.
The coat of a red setter normally
stands out fairly clear against heath
er of the ordinary hue. When, how
ever, it gets soaked with rain it dark
ens very much and blends very close
ly with the heather. The Gordon set
tters are perhaps the worst in this re
gard of assimilating with the color of
heather and so being liable to get a
charge of shot.—Country Life.
A NEtV YEAR’S DIVORCE.
Old pipe of mine, ve’ve got to part;
I leave you soon forever;
Though you are twined about my heart,
We’ll meet in future—never.
I’ll swear you’ve faithful been and true,
You've put dull care to* chase,
But there nas come ’twixt you and me
* That woman in the case.
Old pipe of mine, the day draws near
When from me you must roam;
No longer may I know the cheer
You brought into my home.
No longer when the shadows fall
And night comes onjapace,
I’ll take you up. Oh, cup of gall!
That woman in the case!
I loved you first, I hear you say,
1 pledged my troth to you,
And I have loved you from that day
I promised to true.
’Tis so, but I was young and green.
A youth, with bardless face;
1 little thought there’d come between
That wonr.aa in the case.
You were my love in days of old;
Old pipe, I love you still,
But there’s a woman in the fold
THathasa stronger will.
Forever from my life you’re banned.
Denied your fav’rite placp;
Ejected by supreme command,
The woman in the case.
No longer when my heart grows sad
Will you bring peace to me;
The comforts you and I have had
In future cannot be.
You will not sooth rnv aching brow,
My drooping spirits brace;
There stands to seperate us now
The woman in the case.
Old pipe, farewell, a long farewell,
F or you and I must part;
With me no longer may you dwell, >
Another rules my heart.
You think I’m cowardly to so
Desert you in disgrace,
But then, old pipe, you do not know
The woman in the case.
—Detroit Free Press.
DREAMS
“A remarkable and lucky thing
happened to me once when 1 was
dead broke,” imparted the aspiring
poet. “It was pear to the Christ
mas holidays, and I needing money
badly, sent a poem to a certain
magazine. On the third night
after, I dreamed that iny poem had
been accepted for fifty dollars. Of
course when I woke up I was much
dissapointed. But the very next
day, lo! there came the fifty dollar
check for verses i ”
Oh, you were in luck!”
“Wait! Two days subsequent,
back came my poem, accompanied
by an explanatory epistle from the
editor, In this he said that owing
to a dream his treasurer had dream
ed the third night previous (same
night as mine) the treasurer, under
the impression that his dream was
a reality, forwarded my check on
his on hook.”
“Remarkable, indeed! Did you
return the check?”
“Oh, no! I sent back the poem,
together with a note, stating that
under no circumstances could 1
dream of returning the fifty.”
One Explanation.
“Why don’t the reformers ac
complish more in this country?”
“Well, they want so many dif
ferent kinds of reform.”
In Poker Circles.
“What are the proper calling
cards?”
“Three or upwards are consider -
ered very good.” ,
Earm land for R^nt.
We have farm land for rent in
Wilkes county and Middle Georgia.
Either standing rent, third and
fourth or on halves. Good land.
See us-nt once.
ssWoodruff Hardware Co-
Conversation
“Why were the animals taken in
to the ark?”
“To get them out of Roosvelt’s
way I suppose. —New York Press.
IS IT ANY WONDER?
Read the list of unparalled guar
antees given below, and you ‘will
admit that'it isjuo wonder th;U the
Athens Business College, of Athens,
(la., is the leading school of Book
keeping,[Business Training, Short
hand and Typewriting in the state.
In the first'place, it guarantees
that every statement made in its
catalog is true, and correct and will
pay SIOO cash to anyone painting
out an incorrect or misleading state
ment. In this catalog it guaran
tees to give a better course of Book
keeping, and Shorthand in half the
time required by othei schools
teaching other systems. It guaran
tees to pay railroad fare both ways
if the student, upon arriving,* and
attending the school for ten .days
does not find everything up to* the
standard represented in the catalog.
It guarantees to, place its gradu
ates in a higher class of positions
than any other school in the state.
It also guarantees that it places
more of its graduates in good po
sitions each year than any other
commercial school in the state.
It guarantees to give a free scholar
ship to anyone who can find a
graduate of the Bryne Simplified
Shorthand or Practical Bookkeep
ing who has laid these systems aside
to|taster other systems and .made a
success of them. It also offers a
free scholarship, if, upon investiga
tion, one does not find that it has
had many writers and students of
of other systems of bookkeeping and
shorthand to abandon them and
take up its systems, and go out and
make a success with them. It guar
antees to save the student in time
and hoard from SIOO to S2OO over
what it would cost to furnish a sim
ilar course in schools teaching-other
systems. Now, is it any wonder,
since it guarantees so much, and es
pecially since it guarantees to save
its students from SIOO to S2OO in
cash and secure them better posi
tions than they could get had they
attended another school, that it has
in attendance students from all
parts of the state?
Write for free catalog and read in
detail their unparalled guarantees.
Athens Business College, Athens,Ga-
WE ALL LIVE BY FAITH
“I don’t believe in anything,”
said a callow youth recently, “and
there isn’t anybody--no, not a living
soul- that I would trust out of mv
sight- Faith? I haven’t any.”
Perhaps the young man with the
agnostic pose believed what he said
but, conceding that, he didn’t know
himself in his connection with the
world and his fellow Iteings. He
lias faith, and we all have faith, in
large measure. The farmer who
plows and harrows and plants the
seed has faith in the Omnipotent
Ruler of the universe, who brings
the seed time and harvest. He be
lieves that the spring will lie follow
ed by the summer and the summer
by the harvest lime. He buys his
seed corn and hires his laborers
through faith.
The sick man accepts the prescrip
tion ofjhis physician,* and the medi
cine the druggist prepares” with
faith that is a helpful and not a
harmful potion. Our callow youth
himself goes into a store, when the
proprietor is, to him, a stranger,
selects his goods, perhaps to a large
amount, ppys for them, and has
faith that they will be sent to his
address and no hocus-pocus brought
into play to cheat him out of his
own. He writes and mails his own
letters with faith in the postmaster,
the postal clerk and the letter car
rier, to do their part. He buys his
ticket and gets aboard a train with
faith in the train despatches the
conductor, and in the engineer and
fireman who often risk their own
There is Mere
to a Fertilizer
than Analyses
The mere mixing of
materials to obtain analy
sis requires no special
knowledge. The value
of a fertilizer lies in the
source from which the
plant food is obtained,,
Each ingredient in
Royster goods is selected
with a view of supplying
the plant from sprouting
until harvest. The plant
is not overfed at one
time and starved at an
other. Twenty-five
years experience goes with
every bag.
REGISTERED
Sold by reliable dealers throughout
the South*
F. S. Royster Guano Cos.
NORFOLK, VA.
OPLRA HOUSE..
ONE NIGHT ONLY,
MONDAY, January 17
THE BEAUTIFUL DOWN EAST PLAY,
“ALONG THE KENNEBEC,”
STAGED WITH ALL SPECIAL SCENERY.
lirin THE SPLENDID BAND
Hk U K THE comedy quartette
llLnil the good singing
Arr the realistic snow storm
\kk THE KJNNY DUEL SCENE
OLL THE THRILLING EXPLOSION SCENE
Clever Character Specialties. Bright Music and Comedy*
SEATS ON SALE AT GEM GROCERY CO.
Prices : 25c, 35c, 50c, 75c.
lives to save the “callow youths”
who have no faith. The whole
complicated machinery of our com
plex existence would stop if the
motive power of faith should fail. —
Gainesville Eagle.
A LAY QUESTION.
“Would you like the floors in mo
saic?” asked the architect.
The new householder looked
dubious.
“Would you like the floors in mo
saic patterns?”
“I don’t know much about that,”
he finally said- “I ain’t got any
prejudice against Moses as a man,
and maybe he knew a lot aoout
the law. As regards laying H >ors,
though, I kinder think I'd rath< r
have them unsectarian.” —Harp rs
Weekly.
Schedule Gainesville Midland Railway
SOUTH BOUND
No. 11 —Lv. 8:35 a. m.
No. 13 —Lv. 2 350 p m.
No. 15 —Lv. 10:30 am; Sun. only
NORTH BOUND
No. 12 —At. 11:25 am.
No. 14 —Ai. 5:40 p m.
No. 10—A.. 4:25 pm; Sun. only.