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ABOUT REAL TRAMPS
Ignorance of Public Regarding
Them, fcy One Who Knows.
HOBO IS SIMPLY A TOURIST.
He Works His Way Here end Then
end Takes In Scenery and Not a Few
Adventures as He Gaos, Says Di
lapidated Gentleman.
f Copyright, 19M, by T. C. McClure.]
“^ HE general tjutuTfiU‘ e 'f the
5| public regarding tramps cun
tinues to be a source of sur
prise to mo, though I have
been bucking up against It for many
years,” said the dilapidated gentle
man 11s lie hitched a little nearer to
the ivdhot stove in the office of the
lodging house. ‘‘The public draws a
line between the doctor and the law-
isb A .
CARRIED AWAY ALT, TOR IRON IIAIiS TO
THE WINDOW.
yer, but no line betweeu the tramp
and the bum. In the latter ease every
thing Is dumped Into one basket and
labeled ‘Tramp.’
“If you will go out and walk the
streets for an hour you will come
across fifty men that the press and
then the public characterize as tramps,
and yet not a single one of them be
longs to the profession. They are town
bums. They seldom leave the city for
a day. They are a bad, vicious lot.
All of tho"i are liars and most of then)
thieves. No professional tramp hitches
up with them In any shape. I have
often argued with officials of the law
about this matter, but have seldom
been able to make (hem see it.
“A tramp, my dear man. is simply
an Impecunious tourist of Amerjcn on
foot, lie is working his way hero and
there and taking in the scenery and
not a few adventures ns he goes, If, I
was worth n million dollars and want
ed to get acquainted with America
and Americans 1 would sooner take
the rale of a dilapidated gentleman
than to travel !:i a pala.e car. Why.
man, 1 can tell you more about the
natural s- enery. the hills, the rivers,
the villages, the farmers of twenty dif
ferent states In this Fniou than the
governors of them. Fifty tramps trav
eling over the country could give the
agric ultural bureau at Washington bet
tor crop reports than it would get
from a thousand farmers.
“No matter what sends the I>. G
foriti on liis travels, he starts out to
-see the country the same as the
wealthy tourist, and he has no more
evil iu his mind. lie simply has less
money and must attain his object in
a different way. lie beats the rail
roads because he can't pay fare; he ap
peals at the kitchen door because he
can’t dine at a hotel. Name any rich
man you will who has ‘done’ America
and IU wager that I can tell him of
hundreds of points he lus missed. 1
cau an me lyn towns or teu rivers to
t*" on?' I calf Tell him in an hour
more about rural village life than he
learned In a year of travel.
“Would the wisest college professor
iu the country plan to go on foot from
New York to Sail Francisco and steal
his food en route? Would he burn
barns and haystacks? Would he be
impudent to farmers or assault their
wives? Well, a dilapidated is no more
of a fool than a professor in that re-
spect. lie walks the highways an hon
est man. If he lias a cent in his pocket
be will offer to pay for his food; if he
hasn’t lie will offer to pay in work.
The general idea is that he won’t work
That’s another mistake. The harvests
of America would be a failure but for
the tramps who turn in and do a
month’s hard work. They put in a
inocth in the planting, another in the
hoeing and the third in the harvesting
and you can’t reasonably expect more
of a tourist. He has got to have time
to shove along anil see the country.
Trip to Niagara Falls.
“I was on the road two years before
I got around to Niagara Falls. 1 was
headed that way, but detained here
and there. When 1 got there at last 1
pajo.ved the wonder of nature just as
as if I had a million to my credit
•- rovpd longer and saw
Mr tv. \ McDonald am,
Ist. I had to sleep under the stepa of
a store and beg my meals from house
to house, but I went away well posted
and haven’t got over the awe of it yet.
“Would you think, to look at me,
that I ever had a longing to see the
Idg trees of the YosemPe? No, you
wouldn’t. The Idea seems absurd to
you, and yet I made a tramp of 1 3X)
miles to sit In their shadow. 1 walked
around them: 1 talked to them: I
measured them: I slept beneath them.
In fact. I wrote a poem on them. And
I wasn’t fifty miles away when I wn*
arrested on suspicion of having stolen
two chi-kens, and, though I hadn't a
feather about tae. I was sentenced to
a dirty jail for three months. You’d
laugh If 1 t Id you that 1 walked the
width <fa state Just to gaze on the
mighty Misshsip; i river for half a
day and call up I3e Soto and his tire
less ambitions, and yet why not?
“If the dilapidated gentleman didn’t
do a stroke < f 1: ird work the year
round he ought to be welcomed and
f.d and lodged for assisting in Ibe
cause of general knowledge.. He Is a
walking encyclopedia. Scores and
r errs < f times 1 have sat down at the
f.rcside cf a farmer and paid my keep
ten times ever by the information I
gave him aid his family. I have
helped his children with tlicir school
lessons, and I have hop ed him and
Ids wife to better understand the coun
try they were living in. It wasn't
two months ago that I asked a farm
er Low much wheat he tin ught the
United States harvested this season,
lie thought for a moment and then
put It at about 500,000 bu. hels. When
I made bis figures 5,005,000 bushels he
stood with his mouth open for fully
two minutes. lie was born and raised
in the country, but didn’t think there
was much going on cut ide his own
ceunty.
“One trouble 1 have fecund with the
farmer is his liking fir the growsome.
He’d rather hear of a robbery than a
flying machine and of a murder than
all the crop statistics. He tells you so.
and then ns his guest you have got to
humor him. That Is, you leave got to
put your imagination at work. llis
Idea Is that because you are a dilapi
dated traveling about you must have
met up with all sorts of crimes. I go
ahe ad and give him the particulars of
two or three atrocious murders that I
keep on tap and end eff with a bur
glary aid a case of horse stealing, and
when we are ready for bed he is ready
to ndmit that he has passed a pleasant
evening. I have made myself a liar,
of course, but 1 settle that with my
conscience by saying that the etcl jus
tices the limans.
“There i.-> one subject, however, that
1 don’t have to draw the long bow in
talking about. That is the county
magistrates, constables and jails. I
am walking along the highway, as is
the right of any man to do. 1 have
been at work for a farmer for tile last
fortnight and have $lO in my pocket.
1 am no mendicant or fugitive front
justice, and yet a constable seines me
and drags ire before the justice of the
peace. They are in cahoots as to fees.
I am charged with vagabondage. 1
show my money as proof to the con
trary. It is a fatal mistake. lam a(
once suspected of robbery. 1 ask for
a lawyer, but am refused.
Protests of No Avr.il.
“The c instable swears that I have
been ‘hanging around’ the neighbor
hood for weeks, and 1 am given a sen
tence of sixty days in jail. Protests
are of no avail; demands only bring
the warning to shut up. They won’t
let me scud for the farmer for whom
I worked. It’s all their way. and to
jail 1 go, ami the food furnished is
hardly lit for a hog, because tlie jailer
stands In with the other two to beat
the county by beating prisoners.
“It’s the same old game iu every
state, from Maine to California, and
it’i* no use to kick. Only the prisoners
know how bad it is, and when they
come out and talk uo one believes
them. For this reason the dilapidated
must figure that it’s all in the day’s
work and put up with it. The only
way he can get even is to do as much
damage to the jail as ho can when he
decides to make a hole in t lie wall and
continue his sightseeing tour. The
last coop 1 got out of I carried away
all the iron bars to the window and
later ou read in a newspaper that I
was not oaly a tramp, but one of the
most ungrateful of the species.”
M. QUAD.
Full Information.
“Brother, what’s a featherweight
fighter?”
“Ain’t you ashamed, sis, to be so ig
gerent. A featherweight fighter is a
game rooster, of course.” Baltimore
American.
Would Seem So.
Crawford—Do the rich know how the
other half live?
Crabshaw--After taking their money
from them they must be able to form
some idea*of how they are compelled
to live.—Puck.
As You’ve Noticed.
“There is a great fad for imitations
M stage celebrities nowadays.”
“Yes, and, quite naturally many of
them are put on by Imitation actors.”—
Kansas City Times.
- c - ■-
SHE KNOWS ENOUGH.
SHE does not know who Caesar was
Nor when Columbus sailed the
seas.
She may. for all she says or does,
Think Botticelli Is a cheese!
Now, gentle reader, don't commence
To say you think It is a pity
To live in ignorance so dense—
You see, she’s pretty.
She will not wrinkle up her brow
To call to mind a verse of Keats.
Ask her if Shakespeare's writing now,
She ll say she likes the parquet seats.
Of current topics she may speak
And show misinformation simple,
But in the rose pink of her cheek
There is a dimple.
She’ll tell you socialism’s cute
Because a friend who's rather plain
Is lecturing from here to Butte
And has so many in iter train.
She cannot tell you what is meant
By the philosophy of Ibsen,
But hers is beauty that is blent—
A Fisher-Gibson.
Of differential calculus
She may discourse in language clear
Until at last it comes to us
She means some automobile gear.
The fact that Raphael is dead
Leads not to talk on pictures olden—
Her lips are eherry-ripely-red.
Her hair is golden.
So what is history to her?
What are reformers and their Ilk?
She ha3 the latest word on fur
And wears the newest shades in silk.
Sigh not that she must live alone,
For her unlearnednesss quench your
pity.
She knows all that needs to be known—
You see, she’s pretty!
—Wilbur D. Nesbit in New York Life.
The Ninety and Nine.
A certain minister was deeply im
pressed by an address on the evils of
smoking at a recent synod. lie rose
from his seat, went over to a fellow
minister and said:
‘•Brother, this morning I received
a present of a hundred cigars. I have
smoked one of them, but now I’m go
ing home and burn the remainder in
the fire.”
The other minister arose aud said it
was bis intention to accompany his
reverend brother.
“I mean to rescue the ninety and
nine," be added.—Philadelphia Ledger.
The Simple -Life.
ifl j 1
w ii -A#
1! & jC"'
“If you were to put more water into
the meal, they’d digest it in half
time.”
“Toime haiu’t of no ’count to these
’ere pigs, mister.”—Tatler.
Crucial Test.
She vowed the man she accepted
must be brave, and he felt as coura
geous as Robin Hood.
“But what proof have 1 of your brav
ery?” asked this apartment house maid.
“I defy the world!” he shouted gal
lantly.
“Tut! Tut!” she laughed. "1 have
heard that before. Go down and defy
the Janitor and tell him to put some
more coal into the furnace. I am al
most frozen.”
But the young man paled and called
for his luit and cane.—Chicago News.
No Consolation.
“Well, it’s all over, my boy,” sighed
Mr. Oldboy, an antiquated bachelor.
“Miss De Young has refused me.”
“But 1 suppose she let you down
easy by promising to be a sister to
you?” rejoined his friend.
“No,” replied Oldboy bitterly. “She
wouldn’t even be a granddaughter to
me.”—St. I.ouis Republic.
In Training.
“Are you going to mingle in the gay
life of the capital?” asked Mr. Cum
rox. “It depends ou whether mother
and the girls can teach me to eat ice
cream with a fork without dropping
any ou uiy Sunday shirt bosom.” —
Washington Star.
Hurts No Feelings.
“One would imagine a boss tailor
would be disliked by his men.”
“Reason ?”
“lie often makes cutting remarks.”
“Yes, but he makes up for if by mak
ing lots of fitting ones.”—Kansas City
Times. / *
Lucky Dog.
“My wife is excessively fonf- of her
poodle. Actually I’m beginning to
look ou it as a sort of *v rival to me.”
“Say, you’re lucky. I’m only a sort
jfA'T rival to my wife’s poodle.”—Kan-
F** > ‘ City Times.
~■ - • • _r
F. W. Bondurant & Cos.
■
Insurance,
Winder, - - Georgia.
Do you contemplate a change in
your banking connections?
Come in and talk the matter over
with us.
THE WINDER BANKING GO.
WINDER, GEORGIA.
AT THE
OPERA HOUSE
You will see all kinds of
Buggies, Surreys and Wagons
Made up in the latest styles, of the
very BEST MATERIAL. The quality
is there and the prices are RIGHT.
R. L. ROGERS,
Winder, - Georgia
NOTICE!
I have withdrawn from the firm of
ELROD & BARRON,
And purchased the
r-: SHAVING PARLOR
Locatediin the Granite Hotel, where I
would -be pleased to greet my old
friends.
Thanking you for past patronage,
and hoping you will call upon me at
my new quarters.
Respectfully,
W: P. ELROD,
WINDER, - GEORGIA.