Newspaper Page Text
TV. K. HARP, Publisher.
VOLUME 11.
NEWS GLEANINGS.
Georgia has 2,517 drinking|saloons.
The bonded debt of Louisiana is sll,-
786,850.
There are seventy-tliree saw mills, all
in Obeon county, Tenn.
Last year Texas imported corn. This
year she will have millions of bushels
to sell.
Hon. Alexander H. Stephens says he
now weighs five 'pounds more than he
ever did before.
A solid lump ol pure silver, weighing•
nearly a pound, was found near Mag
nolia, N. C., receutly.
The explosion of a bottle of ginger
pop caused an Augusta, Ga., lady to
loose the sight of both eyes.
A steamship from Norfolk to New
York a few days ago carried 20,< 00
chickens from Southwestern Virginia.
North Carolina lias 776 saw-mills,
with a capital of $1,743,217, employing
3,< 29 hands, and the products are worth
$2,672,796.
The total consumption of cotton hy
North Carolina mills and factories for
the year ending August 31, 1882, was
op non one i a
A panther six feet in length was re-
COM II V Killed 111 UuoUoncm .... ... 4 , A.T „
It had for a long time been a terror to
the neighborhood.
During the year of 1881 ninety-six
wild cats were killed in St. Johns county,
Fla., and so far this year seventy-six
have bitten the dust.
The average corn crop in Tennessee is
60,000,000 bushels, but it will reach
160,000,000 bushels this year. The whea -
crop will reach nearly 12,000,000 bushels.
Mrs. Bozeman, whose age is well am
thenticated to have been 115 years, died
in the Halifax county (N. C.) poor
house last week. She leaves a great
great grandchild forty years old.
The crop of sugar made in Louisana
during the season of 1881-2 amounted
to 159,874,950 pounds, equivalent to
122,982 hogsheads. The production of
molasses amounted to 9,691,104 gallons,
or 200,194 barrels.
An Alabama law, passed by the last
Legislature, prohibits the owners of
sheep killing dogs to permit them to run
at large. The first conviction under the
law was made in Jefferson county re
cently, and the owner of the dog fined
$75.
The Montgomery (Ala.) Advertiser
learns with surprise that the “poor but
proud” young women of that city are
reluctant to engage as operatives at the
cotton mill for fear that such employ
ment is'“not quite respectable.”
Fifty one counties in Georgia have no
licensed saloons. Two others close out
October 1. Seven have only one each,
and in many counties the the sale is
confined exclusively to the county town.
The prohibition element is becoming
stronger and more formidable every day
The corn crop for the State of Geor
gia is estimated by the State Agricult
ural Department to be in the neighbor
hood of 30,000,000 bushels, which makes
the yield about equal to that of 1859
which latter has long been regarded as
probably the larges corn crop ever gath
ered in the State.
The Blair family, of Camden, S. C.,
have a sad record. Miss Blair, a beau
tiful girl, has just committed suicide.
Her great grandfather was hanged, her
grandfather committed suicide, her fa
ther, L. W. R. Blair, was tried for mur
der, and escaped only to fall in a per
sonal rencounter with Capt. Haile, a
short time since. One of her brothers
is now in the State penitentiary, serving
out a life sentence for murder.
At the Saviour’s Home, a fanatical
institution at Little Rock, Ark., no
medicine is given to the sick, no matter
what the disease with which they are
suffering. One of the inmates, a child,
died recently for want of medical treat
ment, and the inhuman managers of this
more than inhuman institution made no
effort to save its life. They should be
prosecuted for willful murder, and the
name of the house prefixed by some
thing smacking to ha ’s. The present
name is a misnomer all reports be
true.
A Protracted Bankruptcy Case.
Just before his death, 101 years ago,
Commercial Councillor Scharf, of Kin
beck, became a bankrupt, and the
“Royal Great-Britanic Electoral Bruns
wickian-Luneburgish Chancery of dust
ice” in Hanover published an official
announcement that his estate would
undergo liquidation in due course.
That solemn process is now' about to be
completed by the Second district court
at Goettingen, which informs the Ger
man public by advertisement in the lo
cal papers that the heirs of Councillor
Scharf s creditors will do well to prefer
their claims to his estate, inasmuch as
the assets thereof amount to some Id,-
000 marks. This sum the court holds
at the disposition of the estate’s credit
ors. If not claimed by their lawful
representatives before a given date,
however, it will lapse to the Prussian
exchequer, which has suceeded to the
rights and prerogatives formerly en
joyed by the Crown of Hanover.
THE JACKSON NEWS.
TOPICS OF THE DAY.
Philadelphia claims to have 5,000
laudanum drinkers.
Patents for car couplers are issued at
the average of one a day.
A Southern paper calls courage the
temporary paralysis of discretion.
Boston, Chicago, Cincinnati, Milwau
kee and Louisville, are all holding expo
sitions.
It is stated that the free ice distrib
uted by New York philanthropists lias
caused much sickness.
It is stated that the State coffers of
Italy now contain 550,000,000 of coin
laid up toward the abolition of the forced
paper currency.
An Illinois woman gave a tramp a
bogus quarter to get rid of him, and he
made it cost her au arrest and fifty dol
lars in cash before ho was satisfied.
The Postmaster General has decided
that a stamp cut in pieces and thereafter
affixed to mail matter is not good, though
the stamp has never been canceled.
The Smith will make 7,000,000 gallons
of cotton sped oil this year, and you will
buy some of it put up in nice shape and
labeled olive oil irom Italy.
Liszt, the great composer, is always
surrounded by women, who cling to him
like lovesick maidens. He kisses botli
hands and cheek whenever lie takes a
fancy.
Owing to the opposition of the rela
tives of the late Charles Dickens, the
collection of his earlier plays and poems,
announced for publication hs London, is
to be suppressed.
It is related that a young gentleman
connected with the English Foreign
Office the other day went to a telegraph
office and asked to see the original of a
telegram which had arrived from Egypt.
Morse, who invented the telegraph,
and Bell, the inventor of the telephone,
both had deaf mute wives, which leads
a wag to observe: “Just see what a
man can do when everything is quiet.”
The richest man in Mexico is an Irish
man named Patricio Milmo, who owns a
400,000 acre farm, and is reputed to be
worth $10,000,000. When he went to
Mexico he had not a dollar. He got his
start by a fortunate marriage.
Czar Alexander IK. evidently ex
pects to survive his coronation. He is
adding to tho seventeen palaces of his
father anew one at Peterhoff, overlook
ing the Gulf of Finland. Its founda
tions are to be completed this fall at a
cost ef $300,000.
Etienne, the well known French au
thority on the subject, lias issued bis
estimates of the harvests of the world for
1882. His report is, on the whole, de
cidedly favorable, indicating no serious
deficiency in crops in any quarter of the
world, and a general abundance through
nut, Europe and America
Tiie Mormon priesthood has been cir
culating a secret circular in Utah, giving
instructions to their people directly
opposite to the law rulings of the Com
missioners. One of the circulars has
been unearthed. They also decide to
have three Bishops sit with the Precinct
Registrars and oversee registration. The
Gentiles are much incensed at the inter
ference.
A report is current that 300 of Gari
baldi’s old comrades have banded them
selves together with the determination
of taking his body from its present rest
ing place, and of causing it to bo
cremated according to the desire
expressed in his will. Whether the
report, which is believed in Italy, be true
or not is not yet known ; Dut it has been
thought advisablo that a guard should be
placed near his grave.
Emoby Thomas sent to Mary Brown,
at Jackson, Michigan, silk for a dress ns
a present. He wished to marry her and
she was inclined to consent; hut when
she learned that the silk was part of the
booty of a burglary, she became the
principal witness against the wooer, and
he was sent to prison for seven years.
But they have become reconciled, and a
few days ago the prison chaplain joined
them in wedlock.
The well known German newspaper,
Algemeine Zritung, of Augsburg, was
originally started at Tubingen, in the
year 1798, by the great publisher Corta,
and two of its earliest contributors were
Goethe and Schiller. Among the foreign
correspondents have figured some of the
most gifted and eminent Germans of our
age Heinrich Heine, for instance, was
for several years Its representative m
Paris.
Thcrlow Weed, in a receut letter on
civil service reform, complains that the
“academies and colleges contribute a
very large contingent to the army of of
fice seekers.” Mr. Weed expresses the
belief that there is too much “liberal
education” in this country, which pro
duces idleness and office beggars men
who resort to office seeking ns a means
nf living, and who get to bating hard
work.
Devoted to the Interest ol Jackson and Butts County.
JACKSON, GEORGIA. WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1882.
The mother-in-law of the late. Nathan
iel Adams, her daughter, her daughter's
daughter, her daughter’s daughter’s
daughter, and her daughter’s daughter’s
daughter’s daughter nre all living at his
late residence in the Itqxbnry district of
Boston, Massachusetts. Thus there are
five generations of women in continuous
lino living under the same roof, they
being Mrs. Hondloy, Mrs. Adams, Mrs.
Wolcott, Mrs. Colby, and little Miss
Colby. Mrs. Hendley is ninety-live
yenrs of age, and the infant a few weeks
only.
This is the way that Miss Elizabeth
Stuart Plielps characterizes the State of
Maine in her novel, “Doctor Zay,” in
the Atlantic: “Wo allers do liov every
thing wus here than other folks," said a
passenger on the Bangor mail coach.
‘‘Freeze and prohibition, mud and fu
sion. We have got one of the constitu
tions that takes things,likemv boy. He’s
had the measles, ’n the ehickenpox, and
the mumps, and the nettle rash, and fell
in love with bis schoolmarm, ’n got re
ligion, and lost the prize for elocootiu’—
all in one darned year.”
Tuts story of strange practice is told
of a Kansas lawyer: The law requires
that a person must bo twenty-one years
old before he can pre-empt land. When
ono comes to ask if lie can evade this
'■ !• . w T/VIJ Hj llliu luuU MCMJXW
years of being twenty-one, “prove up”
some land, the attorney smiles serenely
and says: “Of course; certainly; it is
the easiest thing in the world!” And
when the time comes to mako out the
papers the attorney marks with a piece
of chalk on the floor, “twenty-one years
old. ” He places the affiant on the floor
standing on these words, and lias him
swear that ho is “over twenty-one years
old.”
Watch Newly-Planted Trees.
The present season lias been all that
could bo desired for trees and plants
set last spring. It has been cool and
wet, excellent for the development of
foliage. The moist weather giving
abundant foliage has developed plenty
of root, but this root like that of any
plants in saturated soil is superficial. It
tlie season had been less wet, I lie root
growth would have been less, but it
would have been deeper. The ten days
without rain in Ibis vicinity during tho
last of July', caused greater distress to
corn and garden crops than would have
been the case from three weeks of
drought in an ordinarily dry season.
Trees planted last spring and not
watered showed unmistakable signs of
sullering. Those who understood their
business prevented this, bv giving the
soil a good soaking once a week.
The difficulty with those planters who
have not studied the nature of the
plants they enltivat e is that they seldom
give water enough. They water often
enough, sometimes too often, but super
ficially. It is dissipated by the first
Bim, and scarcely reaches the roots at
all. Lot us illustrate in this way: The
water in a pond that is one foot deep
has the same number of superficial feet
for evaporation, ns the poml four or
more feet deep. So it is with super
ficial watering. The inch or two of
surface moistened is soon dried out.
the roots having received almost no
good from the watering.
In the case of continual superficial
waterings the disability to the tree is
Intensified, tlie roots extend nearer and
nearer the surface rather than down
ward. The autumn finds the lice with
all its roots near I lie surface, and the
next season, if a dry one, often kills it
outright. In fact the second season is
considered to bo the most critical in the
life of a recently planted tree if it bo
deficient in rain. Hence the planter of
ornamental trees and shrubs will see
the necessity of careful watohingof
planted trees, especially such as have
not made fair leaf growth, lor according
to the amount of leaf growth so will be
the root, for it is well known lhal them
is no root growth until the leaves
expand; and, hence, again, the reason
why an evergreen may lie planted at any
season, and for the reason that the
leaves arc always more or less active.
In fact deciduous trees may be most
successfully planted when in leaf if only
tho leavos he kept from willing. So
also it is well known that a tree with
plenty of top will make roots faster
than a tree cut nearly or quite to a bare
pole.
Science then, in tree planting, is to
see first, that they never suffer for
want of mo sture at the roots; and sec
ond, that the roots be induced to strike
deep as quickly as possible.— l'ruirie
Farmer.
Vanity op Hkhiwaymen.— -A Ualves
vestou lady was reading a jewspaper ac
count of a stage robbery that recently
took place west of San Antonio and was
very indignant on reading that besides
robbing the passengers they hod opened
the mail and read the letters, among
them, poeeibly, a letter the lady herself
had written to a friend. “You needn’t
be alarmed.” remarked the lady’s hus
band, “I (lure say they did not ro*d a
word in any of those letters, as those fel
lows don’t know 13. from bull’s foot.”
“Why, then, did they make out that
they read them ?” “Oh, they made out
they could read so as to make a favorable
impression on the passengers. "—Gal
veston New*.
There has been discovered in tho
sandstone rock at the Nevada State
Prison what is considered a great
“find.” It is the marks of the sandaled
foot of a human being, and the marks o!
the track of a mammoth in the same
piece of sandstone, or upon the same
level, showing that man and mammoth
lived not only in the same age, but in
the same year, and, perhaps, in the
same day. These marks were found in
ihe sandstone quarry at a depth of fif
teen feet, on which is supposed to have
been, at the time the marks were made,
the border of a lake, where the man
went fishing and the mammoth to drink.
A Very lUeli Newsboy.
“ Boston, New York, Philadelphia,
Chicago, Cincinnati, St. 1/mis, San
Francisco and Kansas City morning pa
pers!”
This cry has been heard on thosUoets
of Denver for years. It is uttered by a
square-built, smooth-faced, matter of
fact looking man, whose voice has struck
a certain pitch which has increased in
force with long practice.
Ills name is Mykins, and hois without
a doubt the riche.t newsboy In the
United States. Mykins lias discovered
no gold mines; he is no bonanza king.
He has made his money by selling pa
yors at ten cents apiece and blacking
coots at ten cents per shine. lie in
vested his money in property in Denver
and loaned it out on good security, and
iie is worth to-day from $ 10,01)0 to SSO, -
000. A queor fellow is Mykins. Night
and day he hawks his papers on the
street. He knows just where a paper
can ho sold, lie is at the depots at the
right hours; ho knows just when to go
to the hotels, and lie can spot a stranger
on the street, and sell him a paper,
while ono is wondering what place lie
came from.
“Boston, New York, Philadelphia,
Chicago, Cincinnati, St. Louis, San
Francisco and Kansas City morning
papers!” There the erv is heard where
many people arc gathered together, and
there many dimes are rakuil in.
One day Mykins passed. “Dp you
see that newsboy said a gentleman to
the man of news. “lie is worth $50,-
000.”
“ Mow does he make itP”
“lie came Hero .few years ago and
commenced selling hasten. . u „[
blacking hoots. He averaged utio per
day at the former business and no in
considerable amount from the latter,
lie invested his money and now owns
several fine residences on Lawrence
and Fourteenth streets, two or throe of
those Grant houses on Walter street,
some One property on California street,
and besides has any amount of money
loaned out at interest. Ho is a rustler,
and will still black your boots for a
dime—at least he would a few months
ago.”
The speaker led the way to the news
boy’s stand. An old coal box near the
corner of sixteenth and Larimer streets,
with a boot blacking chair and appa
ratus at one end of it, making the place
of business of a man who was worth
enough to make him comfortable for a
lifetime.
“Why don’t yxiu interview Mykins?”
But this was easier said than done.
Mykins is evidently a man of sterling
business principles. One dime realized
from the sale of one paper is evidently
more to him than an hour’s conversa
tion with the most interesting gentleman
in the world.
He did not desire to toll anything
about liis business.
Yes, he sold a good many, papers.
Sometimes he hail a hoy to help him.
He had been hero several years—yes.
Most of these papers are shipped
through to Mykins direct. They cost him
from two to four cents. He sells them
for ion cents a number, lie prefers to
peddle them on the street, ami doubtless
has found that t he most profitable man
ner of conducting his business. He
knows the value of liis trade, and that
small businesses are often more profita
ble than large ones. By careful atten
tion he has worked up a lino of custom
ers to whom ho deliiers papers at fifty
cents per week.
Mykins is unmarried. He looks like
the hard-headed business matt that lio
is. liis face is bronzed by exposure to
the sun aud rain. His features arc
sharp. Ilis voieo is as bars! I pierc
ing as years of continued exertion in one
strain can make it.
“Some day,” continued the lirst
speaker, who started the train of
thought about Mykins, “I should think
he would want to retire from the boot
blacking and news business and live on
his riches.”
I’erhaps he may. —Denver Tribune.
A Change of Miml.
“There is a certain man in this town
whom I’m going to lick until he won’t
be out of bed for six months after, and
I want to know wind it will cost me?”
So said a man win entered a Gris
wold street law office yesterday, and it
was plain to he seen that his dander was
way up.
“Let’s sco?” musijdthe lawyer. “I’ll
defend you for $lO. Jf you lick him in
a first-class manner your line will be
about 325. Then there will he a few
dollars''costs, say enough to make the
whole thing foot up♦■lo. f think that
] can safely promise tlmt it won’t cost
you over that.”
“ Forty dollars! Forty dollars for
lickingnman! Why, I can’t go that!”
“Well, pul! his nose, then. The last
case I had of that sort the line was only
sls. That will reduce the gross sum to
thirty.”
“I want to tear Urn all to pieces, hut
I can’t afford to pay like that for the
fun. How much vould it cost to spit
on bim?”
“ Well, that’s at assault, you know,
but the fine mightnot he over ten dol
lars. I guess .f-’5 would see you
through.”
“ Lands! how Ido want to crush that
man! Suppose I tnoek his hat off?”
“Well, about SK) would cover that.”
“lean hardly hold myself, but, >2O
is pretty 'steep. Can’t I call him a
liar.”
“Oh, yes. I think sls would cover
that.”
“Well, I’ll see about it. I’m either
going to call him uliaror else tell every
body that ho is n< gentleman, or else
give him an awfu pounding. I’ll see
you again.”
“My fee is ss,’ observed the law
yer.
“What for?”
“For my advice ’
The pulverizer pared at him for half
a minute, and thei laid down a “V.”
and started slow!' out with the remark:
“Fm going stkight to Owl man and
beg fiis pardon, *nfi tell him that I’m
the biggest foil in Detroit! Ilian k
heaven that youdifin t get but one claw
on mel”— iJelrot Free Press.
DALLAM] Or A COQUETTE.
Flic wears a mosl hewitohhi-f him I
U'oUl curly tnmlc euptivo in ;t not;
Her dresses with precision briny;;
Her lmt oliMejves f hAcityilftli set;
Slid lu ; :i p.MMlletor a pet,
vint-drives a dashlnj dni'jc and pony:
I know it, tlionyh wove liovojf in t
I’ve seen her picture hy Sartmy.
Her phrases are all fraught with slang,
The vory latest she can get;
She sings the songs that Patience Hang,
Can vrhistle airs from “Olivette,”
And, in the wait/., perhaps might let
Von squeeze her bund,with gems nil stony:
I know it, though we’ve never mot—
I’ve seen her picture by Saronv.
ller heart lias never felt love’s pang,
Nor known a momentary fret ;
Want never wounds her with his fang;
She likes to run Papa in debt;
She’ll smoke a slender cigarette
s'lib rom with a favored crony:
I know if, though we’ve never met
I’ve seen her picture hy Siaiouv.
ENVOY.
Princes, beware this gav coquette !
She ii• •Yi no thoughts of mutrijnouy:
1 know it, tliourh we’ve *iovor mot—
J’ve seen her picture hy Sarony.
Frank I>. Sherman, in OBtUnri/ May mine .
The Now Methods of Fanning.
.
The time when the manuring of tlio
land and Ihu feeding of live-stock had
to he done without any guide but ex
perience is coming to an end, and very
fortunately,so, since the old farming is
becoming unprofitable on all worn soils.
The seienco of fertilization and the sci
ence of feeding had their birth just as
tile old lime farming was declared not
to “pay.” As nature’s bounty seemed
to be exhausted, and the earth to refuse
her increase all along the eastern edge
of our continent as well as in Europe,
the investigations of science revealed
the fact that xv...... <,tin,,- manures
li. -nies those of tlin farm-yard. It re
vealed also t he fact that by a proper ad
mixture of the old and flic use of some
new food materials, domestic animals
might be reared far more economically
and satisfactorily than before. And
this latter work has been also very
greatly helped by the application of
science to the breeding of these animals,
by which breeds are now produced
which are especially adapted to each
distinct purpose for which such animals
arc desired.
Scientific study applied to farming,
though yet in its infancy, lias done
noble work in solving its most difficult
problems and has much more Ilian ac
complished the proverbial feat of mak
ing two spears of grass or grain grow
wnoro one grew before. The immense
and constantly growing use of com
mercial fertilizers all over the civilized
world attests what science lias done in
that direction, which is yet but a drop
ill the bucket to what we shall see 'Hie
wonderful improvement in every species
ol live stock is, to the c\es of every
middle-aged farmer, a constant, subject
of surprise. The fat oxen, the strong
or fast horses, the deep-wooled sheep,
the round and bulky swine, the milk
yielding cows with liicir great records
of butter mid cheese, are as much a
cause of wonder and a mark of the prog
ress of this new age as are the median -
ical discoveries, tho steam engine, tlio
iron steamship, the railway, the elec
tric telegraph, electric light and electric
motors, the mowing machine and tlio
scwing-nuieliiiie, and all the other won
ders of the time.
but as tin; old-time stage-driver can
not, without, much instruction, become
a, locomotive engineer, nor the old-tiino
postmaster become t he skilled t ulegi aph
er without, training, so ueit.ier can
tlie work of the farm now be successful
ly conducted without tho possession of
more knowledge than was attainable by
our fathers, harming is rapidly becom
ing a skilled profession, success in
which will require a liberal training,
equivalent to, though not tho same ns,
that, which has heretofore been given in
what are called the learned professions.
As much and as varied knowledge is
now about to lie applied to tho produc
tion of farm crops and their profitable
use and disposal, as ever went to mako
the best lawyer, minister or doctor of
medicine.
It is hard to realize, at first, what all
this really means. It is no wonder that
so many old farmers have thrown scorn
upon "hook-farming.” The history of
the world from the time of Adam re
veals the til lor of the soil as always an
unlearned man. “The times of this
ignorance” God provided for by stor
ing up in the primeval soil a fund of
fertility which should la*t until mae
kind grew out of its infancy But now
tho time has come for all men to open
their ears and learn, by the study of
God’s works and ways in nature, to
provide for their own wants.
This then is what we must do: we
must study nature, and in doing this
the farmer becomes an edueateih and
may become a learned man as learned
as .Solomon, who was said to have
known all the plants in his day and
more learned, for we must not only
know [of plants and animals, hut
we must learn the laws of their life and
growth; and not only that, we must
nave skill to apply those laws practical
ly, and make both plants and animals
grow according to our will, so as to
gi\e us sustenance and wealth.
In short, the day is now at hand in
which the farmer is to he raised through
knowledge, not from labor, but from
unintelligent drudgery to intelligent pro
duction, and a master-hip over nature
in the place of his old slavery to nature.
Understanding nature’s forces, we are
to direct them, instead of being directed
by them. With more than the subtlety
of Jacob, we are to mold the cattle to
our will and profit. With more than the
wisdom of Solomon, we feed and nourish
as well as study the plants of the field.
Are the middle-aged and older farmers
of the rime rousing themscl.es to tlieso
great facts, and taking them in in their
full significance? if so. they will be
found aiding anil favoring every means
to lit the growing genera! ion lpr their
new and wonderful inheritance.—A. Y.
Eiaminer.
At tho present rate of consumption
it is estimated that the supply of white
pine timber in the United 'states will bo
exhausted in twelve vears.
A Chicago physician perhaps an
alarmist—claims that the winter cholera
in that city is a forerunner of a cooler.
scourge next summer.
Good Morning, I‘rofcssor.
In tills favored land Hie I’rofessor is
running the Colonel a pretty close raeo,
and the Colonel may just as well undcr-
Mtuid that, he has to hump himself or •
lie'll get shut out a 1 the distance pole.
.1 list alter the close of the war the. Col
onel took such a start llpit :ho most
sanguine friends of the l'role-'sor a(Jn(liit-'
leil that he never Opuld catch lip. But
the I’rofessor is one of I lie immortal few
llial were hot Inn n to die, lilid while ino
Republic lasts lie wiki be on deck. Seed
time and harvest may fail.summer may
cease aud the winter may not endure,
morning ami even time may pass away,
but Iho Pro oysur will be here. This is
the country lorhim, and while it is Ilb 11-
ni'ely set lied by the last census Mint the
('olonel is dying out, and lliat there is
now but ono Colonel to every ll .rty
seven of population, the Frofessor is
on the increase aud holds all that he
gains
The title is mo-t honorable, and at
one time it represented only tin: broad
e>t. scholarship. the pro'.oimdest. learn
ing. It represented long years of bard,
patient study of men mid books and
tilings It meant thought. H mount
brains. It, meant wis loin. II meant
standing i’ll 1 lie world of intellect. It
was a title, bard to win and sparingly
bestowed. Now ——
Anew barber c hit’s to town and
opens * lunsorial parlors” one room
and two, I’bap* lie is J’rqf. Ferapqr. A
man goes ayopnii the country trading
hors's and selling it eirf “ for ring-bone
l’rof. Snaffle, the emiyujit veterinary
surgeon; because where a physician w ho
ministers, to human Miller ng, with all
"y learning and skill the colleges can
goo mm, R , .....I ~||, |,| i, O
called doctor, the traveling; boss doc
tor" is always and everywhere ‘‘l’ro
fessor.’’ A limn hires a ball and teach
es people to dance l’rof. Lightfont
lie may not be able to make o it Ins owii
bills, and spells selioltislie with seven
letters, but lie is I’m essor. A circus
employe goes up in a balloon —I’rof.
Gasbag, the daring aeronaut. A retired
prize lighter opens a gymnasium and
boxing .school I rot. Bruiser, instructor
of physical science and muscular devel
opment. A man takes his rillo and
makes thirty nine bull’s eyes in the tar
get out of a possible forty at eight, hun
dred yards I’rof. Globesitifi all over the
country, fast as the mail and telegraph
can confer lii.s degree. A 'Texas cow
hoy comes north ami breaks horses fora
living I’rof. Toeealk. A man swims
further than any other man Professor,
A mill) cuts corns and cures bunions for
a living--Professor; lie waltzes throe
hours without resting l’ro essor; plays
the Hddle and imparts to others the se
crets of tile diabolical art, -Professor;
walks a slack rope stretched across the
street Professor; -goes without eating
twenty and ivs Professor; rides four
horses bareback Professor; sings in the
choir Trofossor; teaches a brass band
Professor; cures waits Professor;
plays billiards for a living - Professor;
trains dogs Professor; perforins some
clover tricks of sleight of hand—l’rofes
sor; does anything in the world except
teach, and knows less of books and
schools than lie does ot Heaven Pro
fessor.
The Colonel differs widely from tho
Professor in that no reason is ever as
signed tor liis lining. A man is simply
called “Colonel,” either license lie was
a Lieulenitut in llieafny or never was
in the army, it, is immaterial, lie is
just (kdond, that’s all. But the Pro
fessor claims Ills title by reason of liis
“ profession,’" 1 who her it Ins the cob.
bling of shoes or Ira niug of dogs. Amt
as occupations increase in va iely so the
Professor increases in number.
There is nonor in the honorable old
title still, to tlie M'.liolars who have
earned it. well an 1 wear it with dignity.
And il.ii a shame Hint I tie title which
belongsoxclushely to their world should
have its tilery worn in the circus, the
rat pit and the s’ab'oi. bet, us boycott
the bogus Professor as au act of simple
justice, to tlie Professor whom we all es
teem. —Jlurliu'jUin JJaivhvi/e.
I'lic Modern Caucus.
An aged citizen who was one of tho
early settlers, was seen coming out on to
the. sidewalk in front of a place where a
caucus was being held, a few nights be
fore election, on his ear. He seemed to
lie propelled by some unseen power,
and us lie got up and picked up his bat
out of the glitter, brushed the mud of!
bis sleeve and wiped tho blood off his
nose, a friend went up to him and
asked what was tho matter. The old
man said, “ Well, I huiu’t attended a
caucus in thirty year, but my nephew
wauU.il mo U. (;.. to-night, and when I
proposed that the lnoetiug be ..[.oiien
with prayer, f think the stove fell over
on me. A fellow said, ‘O, give us a
rest.,’ and I don’t know how I got out
here, but 1 did. Why, in ’49 they used
to open political meetings with prayer,
and close ’em the same way. This cau
cus opened with a knock down ami I
s’poso it will close with a riot. Hello,
there is another man riding down stairs
without any saddle, and I s’pose he pro
posed some old-fashioned custom. Hay
do you think my eye will be black ? I
told the old lady I wa* goin* to ineetm*
and I wouldn’t like to have her think I
had lost my temper and struck the sex
ton. Well, that’s the last polities for
me.” The old man, however, got a
policeman to go with him while he voted
on election day. —Milwaukee Sun.
—A young lady visiting at the resi
dence of Charles Kctchum, Westport,
Conn., went into the kitchen tho other
day to procure some sugar. It so hap
pened that she found a great many ants
in the sugar-box, and she had consider
able to sy about the “horrid black
things” as she called them, and hoped
tho house would soon be rid of them. A
colored coachman who sat at a table
evidently thought that her remarks were
intended for him, for he went out
to tho barn, where there was a pot of
black paint, and, taking the brush back
into the kitchen, drew it across the
young lady’s forehead. Mr. Kctchum
was sent for, and, as soon as he learned
the particulars of the affair, he paid the
coachman's wages to date, and gave
him just five minutes in which to leave
tho premises. —Button Pott.
TERMS: $1,50 pr Annum.
NUMBER 1.
USEFUL AND SUGGESTIVE.
—Tlie real old harvest apple of our
grandfather’s days is to be found no
more.
—The farmer who leaves his plow to
rot in the fields all winter is usually the
one who finds most fault with the con
dition of the country. — N. Y. Herald.
—The Gardener'a Monthly says: “Let
the laundry folk on every wash day
pour the boiling-hot soap-suds about
the roots of peach trees. This will de
stroy the insidious little fungus which
produces the ‘yellows ’ and other dis
eases, and finish tho larvie of insects
which are injurious to the trees."
j- Red ants are said to like lard bet
ter even than sugar; for this reason, U
tlie red ants are troublesome in kitchen
or store-room, sot a plate well grea-od
with lard in tho room. It will soon be
covered wit h them, and yon can dispose
of I hem; put the plato back, and keep
on doing so until they are exterminated.
-TV. Y. Dost.
—Marble Cako: (Light.) One cup
sugar, half a cup each of butter and
milk, whites of three eggs, two cups
flour, one and a half teaspoonful of bait
ing powder. (Dark.) Half a cup each
of brown sugar and molasses, ope fourth
cup each of butter and milk, two cups
of flour, the yelks of three oggs, one
and a half teaspoonful of baking pow
der, ono teaspponlul each of oinnamou,
cloves and allspieo.
—A correspondent of tho Queensland
er supplies that paper with, the follow
ing on tho subject of potato-growing:
“I tried an experiment with potatoes
this autumn, as seed was scarce. I took
cuttings of potato top“ ■M'd*** 1 ' ''
~, .<>liner, and they took root
and boro a better crop than tho original
root. Some of the seod potatoes were
growing strong before I set them, so I
slippod off' the superfluous shoots and
planted them, with very good results;
and any one with a small supply of good
seed may largely Increaso it by this
simple method.”
—Ono objection to a largo rarm, of
sufficient capacity to meet the wants of
a great fanner, is that it concentrates
ai! the crops and all the manure at one
point. In harvest time short hauling of
nay and grain saves valuable time, and,
when manure is to he drawn, short dis
tances to the tields from tho heaps or
sheds very much lessens cost. It is
better to divide on large farms and have
two or more separate points of concen
tration in distribution, and thereby save
great cost to team work. And, too, it
Is very wise to divide the farm buildings
as to not have them all burn at one lire.
These are iroueral considerations.—AT.
Y. Tribune.
Caught by Themselves.
There is a slang phrase now current
wbieli aptly expresses tho fatality at
tending tho testimony of criminals in
court. They are almost sure to “give
themselves away,” that is, to really
convict thorns fives while they are try
ing to prove their innoeonce. In a
court in Paris recently, two cobblers
were charged with stealing fifteen francs
from their master's till. The men bad
asked for some money from their em
ployer, hut lie had refused and had gono
off for tho day with his family. So they
stole the fifteen francs and themselves
start od off for a holiday.
“ Where d<l you spend your holi
day?' 1 asked the Police Justice.
••Wo took no holiday. We worked
as usual,” said tho first- cobbler.
“Come, tiiat won' t do. Tho facts are
all against you, although, to be sure, no
one saw you take the money from tho
bag,” said tho Police Justice.
“It wasn’t a hag; it was a pine box.
Ah!” (to the other cobbler) “what are
you trampling on my feet for?” said the
second cobbler.
“llow do you know it was a pine
box?” asked the Justice.
“ Why, I’ve seen the master take mon
ey from it more than two hundred
times,” answered the second cobbler.
“1 only brought it home the night bo
lore. 1 had always used an iron box.
So ho couldn’t have seen this two hun
dred times,” said the master.
“ Well, when I said two hundred,
perhaps i stretched it a little. I saw it
at least once that day,” said the second
cobbler.
“Whatday?” asked the Justice.
“ Why, tho day that we took tho fif
teen—Oh, stop trampling on my feet!”
said the second cobbler.
“So you acknowledge taking the fif
teen francs?” said the Justice.
“He means the fifteen pairs of slip
pers wo made that day,” said the first
cobbler.
*’ fi"-* you worked all day?” said the
Justice.
“ Yes, except that towards evening
wo were tiled and went out to Mont
martre and took supper,” said the first
cobbler.
“ But you told your master you had
no money. How did you go without
money?” asked tho Justice.
“ We borrowed three francs,” said the
first cobbler.
“Yes, and when wo were arrested,
they found no money in our pockets.
If we had taken the fifteen francs,
there would have been some loft, for we
only spent seven francs,” said the sec- ‘
ond cobbler.
"If you only borrowed threo, how
did you spend seven?” asked the Jus
tice.
“ We got credit,” answered the first
cobbler.
“ Yes, we got credit for nine francs,”
said the second cobbler.
“I think you’ve satisfied us of your
guilt That will do. You shall have a
sentenoeof four months,” concluded the
Justice.— Youth’s Companion
—The largest theater is the now opera
house in Paris. It covers nearly threo
acres of ground. Its cubic mass is t,-
287,000 feet. It cod about 100,000.000
francs.
—Since Ohio River steamboats have
taken to breaking in two in the middle
there is really no safe spot on board,
unless one can tell whioh end will drift
•shore.