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THE SUN.
' 1 " "3, -X
114R1WM.1., HIKI ('UI)NTTi ut.
H nlni-Mlni Si'iiirmlicr N, l*S<*.
AYERS & McGILL, Editors.
FOR I'KESI life\T,
W S HANCOCK,
OF PENNSYLVANIA.
POE VICK'PRESIDENT,
HON. W. H. ENGLISH,
OF INDIANA.
PItBSIDKNTIAL KI.M TlIKt.
FOR THK STATE AT LABUR:
J. O. O BLACK K. E. KEN NON.
. alternate:
LUTHER J GLENN, A. 11.I 1 . ADAMS
DISTRICT ELECTORS:
First District—Samuel D. Bradwelb
of Liberty. A Iteruste—Josephus Gump,
ol Emanuel
, Second District— Win. M. Hammond,
of Thomas. Alternate—Win. Harrison,
of Quitman
Tnirti Distiict -Christopher C. Smith,
of Telfair. Alternate—James Bishop
Jr., of Dodge.
Fourth District—Lavender K. Usy,
of Coweta Alternate—Henry C. Came
ron, of Harris
Fifth District—J no I. Hall, ol Spald
ing. Alternate—Daniel P, Hill of Ful
ton.
Sixth District—Runen B. Nisbet, of
Putnam. Alternate—Fleming G. Du-
Bignon, of B thlwin.
Seventh District—Thos. W. Akin, of
Bartow. Alternate—Peter W Alexan
der, ol Cobh.
Eighth District—Seaborne Keene, of
Hancock. Alterna e— James K Hines,
of Washington.
Ninth District— Win E Simmons, of
Gwinnett. Alternate -Msr on G. Boyd,
of White.
sta ri; iE'iforKATic tithe r.
FOR GOVKRNOR :
NOR WOOD or COLQUITT.
FOR SECRETARY OF STATE :
C BARN Err, of Baldwin.
FOR COMITROLLER-HENERAL :
WM, A. WRIGHT, of Richmond.
FOR TREASURER :
D. N. SPEER, of Troup.
TOR ATTORNEY-GENERAL :
CLIFFORD ANDERSON, of Bihb
Humor in the Family.
Good humor is rightly reckoned a
most valuable aid to happy home life.
An equally good and useful faculty is a
sense of humor, or the capacity to have
a little fun along with the humdrum
cares and work of life. We all know
how it brightens up things generally to
have a lively, witty companion who sees
the ridiculous points of things, and can
turn an annoyance into an occasion of
laughter. It is a great deal better to
laugh over some domestic mishaps than
to cry and scold over them. Many
homes and lives are dull because they
are allowed to become too deeply im
pressed with a sense of the cares and re
sponsibilities of life to recognize its
bright, and especially its mirthful side.
Into such a household, good hut dull, the
advent of a witty, humorous friend is
like sunshine on a cloudy day. While
it is always oppressive to hear persons
constantly striving to say witty or funny
things, it is comfortable to see what a
brightner a little fun is—to make an ef
fort to have some at home. It is well to
turn off an impertinent question some
times, and to regard it from a humorous
point of view instead of becoming irri
tated about it. “ Wife, what is the
reason lean never find a clean shirt?’
exclaimed a good hut rather impatient
husband, after rumaging through all the
wrong drawers. His wife looked at him
steadily for a moment, half inclined to
he provoked, then with a comical look,
she said: “I never guess conundrums;
I give it up.” Then he laughed, and
they both laughed, and she went and
got his shirt, and he felt ashamed of
himself, and kissed her, and then she
felt happy; so, what might have been an
occasion for hard words and unkind feel
ings, became just the contrary, all
through the little vein of humor that
cropped out to the surface. Bome chil
dren have a peculiar faculty for giving
a humorous turn to things when they
are reproved. It does just as well often
times to laugh things oil as to scold them
off. laughter is better than tears. Let
us have a little more of it at home.
An Extensive Family. •
The following extraordinary yet. well
attested fact is copied from Brand's
“History of Newcastle,” England. A
weaver in Scotland had, hy one w ife, a
Scotch woman, sixty-two children
(twelve cases of twins), all living until
thev were baptized; of whom four
daughters only lived to he women, hut
forty-six sons attained the man's estate.
In 1630 a gentleman, of Northumberland,
rode thirty mileft beyond Edinburgh to
be satisfied of the truth of this account,
when he found the man and woman
both living, but at that time had no
children abiding with them, Sir John
Bowes and three other gentlemen having
at different periods taken each ten, in
order to bring them up. The rest had
also been disposed of. Three or four of
them were at that period (1630) at New
castle.
The Hartwell Sun.
By AYERS & McGILL.
VOL. V. NO. 2.
THK two Mtlltfcfc.
BY JULIA DORR.
Wr two wilt Mauri In the shadow hem,
To mf> tlit* bride as she immc* by; •
Kin# soft and low. ring loud and clear,
Ye chiming bplls that swing on high!
Look! look! she comet) The air grows afreet
With the fragrant breath of the orange blooms.
And the flowers she treads beneath her feet
Die In s flood of rare perfumes!
She com set she comes! Thehap|y t*elh
With their Joyous dam or flit the sir,
While the great organ alee and swells.
Soaring to trembling heights of prayer!
Oh! rare are her robes of silken sheen,
And the plaits that gleam on her Inmoin’t snow;
But rarer the grace of her royal miert>
Her hair’s fine gold* Slid her check’s young glow.
Dainty itttd fair as a folded rose,
r resh as a violet dewy sweet,
Chaste as a Illy, she hardly knows
That there are rough paths for other feel.
For love hath shielded ner: honor kept
Watch beside her by night and day;
And evil out from her sight hath crept,
Trailing with slow length far away.
Now in her perfect womanhood,
In all the wenlth of her matchless charms,
Lovely and beautiful, pure and good,
Hhe yields herself to ner lovers arms.
Harkl how the jubilant voices ring!
Lo! as we stand in the shadow here,
While far above Us the gay bells swing,
I catch the gleam of a happy tear!
The pageant is over. Come with me
To the other side of the town, I pray,
Ere the sun goes down in the darkening sc*,
And night falls around us, chill and gray.
In the dim church porch an hour ago,
We waited the bride’s fair face to see;
Now life lias a sadder sight to show,
A darker picture for you and me.
No need to seek for the shadow here;
There are shadows lurking everywhere;
Them l streets in the brightest day are drear,
Ami black as the blackness of despair.
But this is the house. Take heed, my friend,
The stairs are rotten, the way is dim;
And up the flights, as we still amend,
Creep stealthy phantoms dark and grim.
Enter this chamber. Day by day,
Alone in this chill and ghostly room,
A child—a Woman-r- widen is it, pray?—
Despairingly waits tor the hour of doom!
All! as she wrings her hands so pale,
No gloom of a wedding ring you see;
There is nothing to tell. You know the tale—
Qod help her now in her misery!
I dare not judge her. I only know
That love was to her a sin and a snare,
While to the bride of an hour ago
It brought all blessings its bunds could bear*
I only know that to one it came
Laden with honor, and joy, and |>eace:
Its gifts to the other were woe and shame.
And a burning pain that shall never tease!
I only know that the soul of ono
Has l>een a near! in a golden case;
That of the other a pebble 1 brown
Idly down iu a wayside place,
Where all day long strange footsteps Iron,
And the bold, bright sun drank up tin* dew!
Yet both were women. O righteous God,
Thou only canst judge between the two!
MARIE, THE PAUPER.
BT F. DUPONT.
During the “ Reign of Terror* in
France there were many deeds of daring
performed, even by women, and many
noble examples of affection exhibited.
The very st reets of Paris were deluged
with human blood, but near the guillo
tine it ran in gushing torrents.
One dark morning an unusual number
of the aristocracy had been marched
forth, and countless heads rolled from
the block.
A gaping multitude stood by, and
with shouts rent the air as the aristoc
racy were thus butchered.
Among the assembled multitude that
dreary morning, were two females. One
of them was plainly clad, while a cloak
was thrown around her, with which she
kept her features nearly concealed.
But a close observation would betray
the fact that the woman had been weep
ing- ,
Her eyes were inflamed and red, and
she ga/.eu eagerly upon the platform,
while a shudder passed over her frame
us each shock of the glittering knife
severed the head from the body of some
one who had been unfortunate enough
to fall under the ban of the leaders.
The face of the woman was very beau
tiful, and she was young- certainly not
more than sixteen or eighteen years of
age.
The other female was quite different
in character. Her face was fair, but
there was a brazen expression about it.
She was clad in rags, and as each head
fell she would dance, and in various
ways express her delight, and then ex
claim:
“There falls another aristocrat, who
refused me charity when 1 humbly sued
to him?”
Each expression of the kind would
create a laugh from those who heard her.
But any thoughtful person must wonder
how one so young could have become so
depraved.
The. first female watched this creature
for a few moments, and then, pressing
her way to her side, she laid her hand
upon the shoulder of the wretch, and
whispered:
“ Would you like to become rich at
once?”
The female in rags turned about with
a look of surprise, hurst into a loud
laugh, and replied:
“Of course I would.”
“ Follow me, and you shall be.”
“ Enough. load on.”
* It was with considerable difficulty that
the females extricated themselves from
the crowd; but they did so at length,
and then the first female asked of the
other:
“ What shall I call you?”
“ (>h ! I’m called I’auiier Marie.”
“ You live by begging?”
“ Yes; but what's your name, and
what do you want?”
“ My name is Marie, the same as your
own.”
“ Are you an aristocrat?”
“It does not matter. Jf vou know
where we cat; find a room lead me to it,
and you shall have gold.”
The pauper led the way into a narrow
and filthy street, and then down into a
cellar, and into a dark and filthy room.
The other female could not but feel a
sickening sensation creep over her, but
she recovered herself. After contem
HARTWELL. CA.. SEIM., s, ussil.
plating for a tinto the apartment ami
what :t contained, she naked:
“ Are you well known in Faria?”
“ Yes. Everybody known Marie the
Ii II
an per.
“Are yoti known to Rolmspicrret If
no, I want to make a Bargain with
you.”
“I am. What do vott Want?”
“YoU nee inv clothing in heller titan
your own, and I wish to exchange with
von. 1 want you to consent to remain
here, and not to show yourself at all for
a short time, or until I come lo vo
again. Aa recompense for aiding me 1
will give you a thousand francs, and
when I come back I will give you a
thousand more. As security for my re
turn take this ring.
The lady drew a diamond ring from
her linger and gave it to the pauper.
Then she handed her her purse contain
ing gold.
The girl appeared a little puzzled, and
asked:
“ Well, what are you going to tin with
iny dress.
“ I want to pot it on atul go where I
first met you.”
“ Uh, I understand now. You want
to see the chopping go on, and you are
afraid you will be taken for an aristocrat
It you wear that dress. You want to
represent me.”
“ Yes, I want to look as near like you
as possible.”
“Well, that won’t be very dillieult.
Your hair and eyes, and even your
mouth, is like mine. Your fare is too
white, though. But you can alter that
witli a little dirt.”
They changed dresses, and soon the
young, rich and noble Marie do Nantes
was clad in the rags of Marie, the I’auper
of Paris.
The history of Marie dc Nantes was a
sad one. Her father and two brothers
had fallen victims to the remorseless
fiends of tin Revolution, and a third
and last brother had been seized. But
(if his fate site was ignorant, although
she expected that it would Ire similar
to that of her other relatives. He had
been torn from her side but a few hours
before.
After the exchange had been made the
pauper looked on the stockingless and
shoeless feet and ankles of the lady, and
said:
“That will never do. Your feet are
too white and delicate. Let me arrange
matters.”
In a few moments Marie was prepared
and in the filth and rags she emerged
into the street.
She now took her course hack toward
the guillotine and at length reached the
square where the bloody work was still
going on.
Gradually she forced her way through
the crowd, and nearer and nearer she
came to the scaffold.
She even forced a laugh at several re
matksshe heard around her, hut those
laughs sounded strangely.
She now stood within a few feet of the
platform.
She swept it with her eyes.
Her brother was not there.
The cry was now raised: “Here comes
another batch.”
Her heart fluttered violently, and she
felt a faintness come over her as she
heard the tramp of the doomed men nj>-
proaehing.
The crowd opened as the body of men
passed.
Marie gazed among them.
A !nw cry escaped her.
Her brother was there.
But he walked proudly and fearlessly
forward, and ascended the very steps
which led to the block.
ITn to this time the strength of poor
Marie had failed her, and she was unable
to put her resolve into execution.
But now a sister’s love swelled up
in her breast, and she recovered her
strength.
(She sprang forward, bursting through
the line of guards and ran up the steps.
Grasping her brother by the hand,
she cried:
“What does this mean? It is only
the aristocracy that are to die.”
“Away woman!” exclaimed one of the
executioners.
“No. Twill not away until you tell
me why my brother is here, and thus
Sound.”
“ Your brother?” was the echo.
“ Yes, this is my brother.”
“ Well, who are you?”
“I am Marie. Don’t you know me?”
“ The Pauper?”
“Ay!”
“ But this is not joar brother?”
“It is. Ask him—ask him'”
Young Antonio de Nantes tad turned
a scornful gaze upon the maiden, hut a
light passed at once across his face, and
he murmured:
“Oh, my sister!”
“Is this your brother?” asked Ro
bespierre of the suppo.-ed pauper, ad
vancing near her.
“ It is.”
“But his name isdown differently.”
“ Then you are mistaken. He is my
brother. Ask him.”
“ l>oes Marie speak the truth?” asked
Robespierre.
“iShe does,” was the brother's reply.
“And you are not Be Nantes?”
“ I telf you I amber brother.”
“ Why did you not tell us this lic
forc?”
“ I attempted to speak, but was si
lenced.”
“ But you might have declared your
self.”
“ You would not have believed me.”
“ But your dress?”
“It belongs to an aristocrat. Per
haps to him for whom I was mistaken.”
Bol*espierre advanced clone to young
Nantes and gazed earnestly into his
face. Then he aproached Marie, and
Devoted to Hart County.
looked steadily into her eyes for a short
time.
It Was a moment of trial for the poor
gill. Fite trembled iu spite of Iter
Hlbrts to bo calm. Him almost felt that
she was lust, when the litlmaii fiend,
whose word was law, turned and said:
“ Release the man.”
The rhaitis were Instantly removed
and Antonio de Nantes walked down
from the scaffold, followed hy his sister,
while the shouts of those around rent thn
nil, for they supposed jt was a commoner
who had thus been saved.
rite yuung man worked his way
through the crowd as rapidly as possi
ble, leading Marie.
Tbov bad scarcely escaped it, beforr
tin l |s>or girl, fainted, from the intensity
of her feelings.
The brother scarcely knew what to do
but a hand was laid on his arm, and a
voice said :
“ Bring her to my room again. Sho
will be safe there.”
The brother conveyed her to the apart*
moot of tin* pauper, and miked of her:
“Have you seen tho female before?”
“Yes, I know all alxoit it,” returned
the pauper. “ Hlie borrowed my clothes
to save her lover. She lias done it and I
am glad.”
Before the noble sister returned to
consciousness, tho brother had learned
ull.
When she did so they both sought se
cure quarters, after rewarding the I leg
gar-girl as had been promised
“ Do von think Robespierre was really
decided?” asked Marie <ie Nantes.
“ I think not,” returned the brother.
“Then why he did lie order your ro
lease?”
“He saw your plan. He inhum'd
your courage. Could a fiend have done
less?”
“ Perhaps this was the ease. But if so
it was a deed of mercy, and the only one
that man ever did.”
“ You are right,.”
Antonio de Nantes was not again ar
rested, and lived happily with that sis
ter, who had so nobly periled her own
life to save, him by representing the
“ l’auin rof I’aiis.”
NOT OUT OF A NOVEL.
A Tragfnl.v ihnn iiMMi h.r t !**( tnl Tramp
-Will II ll in (>nn l.alr?
|N. V. Hlnr.|
A piece of paper was found in the cel
lar of the tenement, N<<. .'too West 10th
street, where, on Tuesday night, the
dead body of Frederick A. French, tho
supposed ti imp, was discovered. On
the paper was written the following:
The dim flickering of u midnight taper
could he seen within a distant hut.
Save the almost noiseless rustling of tho
leaves the silence was unbroken, while a
gentle breeze from the eastward drove
the morbid atmosphere before it, leaving
in its wake a zephyr that fanned the
cheek of the weary, footsore traveler, in
fusing within him new life. His eye
brightens as the light dawns in view, and,
quickening his pace, lie hastens toward
the sign of habitation. A grizzly heard
sweeps his naked breast, while the wind
sports with his silvery locks as though
they were hut tufts of grass, born to-day
and dead tomorrow.
“ ’Twas twenty years since this lo
cality saw me; what was I then? <>li,
God! let me riot recall those pleasant
scenes of the past, lot they become con
taminated with the too, too stern re
ality. Ah! you once knew a home, a
fireside, a family, a wife dearer than all
the world,” were exelnmalions that fell
from the troubling movement of his
bloodless lips. “Oh, human habitation,
have lat last found rest? Aye, perhaps
everlasting rest! I wonder where
mother and the children are. Are they
living? Are they dead? What is this
strange and terrible feeling coming over
me? Oh, God! am I to die? Forbid,
forbid! Angel of death, stay that fatal
sling! How strange I feel. I see m’
wife, m’ children gathered around tho
hearthstone! Ugh! ugh! I’m choking!”
and with a gurgling sound lie falls upon
a little mound of earth.
Two days have passed. Gray streaks
of dawn are coursing their way up from
the horizon toward the zenith, while tho
cloudlets drifting across the eastern sky
are just beginning to he tinged with
morning light. The door of the little
hamlet in which the light so faintly
flickered slowly creaked upon its rust/
hinges, and a maiden in agrestic attire
steals out and through tho thicket. She
does not heed the swarming vermin, tho
hissing of a reptile, or the distant echo
of the crackling underbrush. Upon her
lily white arms hangs a lunch basket,
and occasionally humming some familiar
air, she makes the old wood ring with
her sweet and melodious voice. (Sud
denly her foot trips against some unseen
object and a frown overspreads her face,
followed by a peevish murmur. (She
turned to see what had dared to impede
her progress, when her eyes fell upon
the prostrate body of the traveler. She
stoops beside the corpse, hut suddenly
rises, and seems to be seized with a
ghastly realization. It is her father, a
wanderer and an outcast, dead from ex
haiislion and starvation within the veiy
sounds of his children’s merry laugh.
The Price of a Leg.
A widow, whose husband was killed in
a railroad accident, sues the company
and recovers $5,000 damages. A man
who lost his leg in the same accident,
sues in the same court and gets $15,000.
The widow waylays the judge and
charges him with unjust discrimination
in valuing a leg at throe times ns much
as a whole man. “That is not the point,
imv dear madam,” says the urbane judge.
“ Even with $15,00(1 the man can not
buy a leg as good as the one he lost. But
a woman as young as you are, and with
$5,000, can have no ditliculty in getting
anew husband.” The widow retires
satisfied.
$1.50 Per Annum
\\ 11< >1 1 1) NO. *2to.
Napoleon Hie Great as a Novel Render.
j Inti rn Hion vl I;-, vlntt.l
W'lu n Napoli on iHT.itnr Empcior lie
strove lit Vain to inal.i' the troubled ami
feverish years ol Ills jxtWrf produce a
literature. He liiliiS' lf way one of the
most voracious readers of novel.* that
ever liked. He Was always asking Tor
the newest of the new, and unfortun
ately even the new romance of hliCperioil
were hopelessly had. Rarhicr, his
librarian, bad orders to semi parcels of
fresh fiction to his Majesty wherever ho
might happen to be, and great loads of
hovels followed Napoleon to Germany,
(Spain, Italy, Russia. The conqueror was
very hard to please, lie read in bis
traveling carriage, and after skimming a
few pages would throw a volume that
bored him out of the window into tin 1
highway. He might have been tracked
bv bis trail of romances, as was I lop o'-
My-Thumb, in the fairy tale, hy tho
white stones he dropped U'lii.'id him.
Poor Barbier, who ministered to a pas
sion for novels that demanded twiuly
volumes a day, was at his wits’ end. 110
tried to foist on the Emperor the
romances of the year before last; but
these Napoleon bad generally read and
he refused, with imperial scorn, to hoik
at them again. He ordered a traveling
library of 3,000 volumes to he made for
him, but it was proved that the task
could not Ik* accomplished in less than
six years. The expense, if only ‘illy
copies of each example had been printed,
would 1 have amounted to more than six
million francs. A Roman Emperor
would not have allowed these considera
tions to stand in his way; hut Napoleon,
after all, was a modern. He contented
himself with a selection of books con
veniently small in shape, and packed ill
sumptuous eases. The classical writers
of France could never content Napoleon,
and even from Moscow, in LSI”, he wrote
to Barbier clamorous for new books and
good ones. Long before they could have
readied Moscow, Napoleon was (lying
homeward before Koutousoli' and Iten
uingsen.
(danders.
Most diseases are not common tii men
and brutes, ami those which are do not
pass from one species to the other as
readily as they extend within the limits
of either. There are some which origi
nate in the lower animals, and are coin
niunicated to men by contagion. 'I lie
worst of these are hydrophobia and
glanders.
The latter is a very infectious disease,
and yet it is only a few years since this
fact has been universally recognized.
The failure to recognize it has lost tho
lives of millions of horses. It is gener
ally incurable.
The disease may he taken by inhaling
floating particles of infected matter;
also by contact with the contents of the
ulcers, or with the blood, tears, saliva,
sweat, milk, and the secretions and ex
cretions generally.
Tho poison readily passes into the
blood through the mucous membrane of
tin* nose, mouth and eyes, or through
the chafed skin of the surface.
The infected animal has ulcers in the
inis', larynx, bronchial tubes, lungs,
skin, the tissues beneath the skin, and
sometimes in the liver, spleen and kid
neys.
The disease in man comes only from
the horse, and is seldom communicated
I loin man to mail. The persons affected
are mainly those who have the handling
of horses, though the snorting of a
diseased horse as he is driven along tho
road may give it to a person, by throw
ing purtieles of diseased matter into his
eyes, nose or mouth. Still, man’s sus
ceptibility to tho poison is slight. The
acute form ends fatally; about one- halfrif
the subacute and chronic cases terminate
in recovery after months of suffering.
All affected animals should be at once
destroyed. All who handle horses should
understand the contagion: m :■ of the
disease.
Horrors of Silver Speculation.
| Virginia ( N-r.) KiiicrprU*.
Mr. Irhabod resides in the wild
suburbs of a pai l of the city where don
keys occasionally “ roam and howl.” Mr.
lehabod is quite a joker in his way. He
has living with him a niece, lately arrived
from a part of the Atlantic States where
sueh-an animal as a jackass is hardly
aecn twice in a lifetime. A night or two
since this young Indy had retired to her
sleeping apartment, after having duly
and dutifully kissed her relative good
night, but had hardly been absent three
minutes before she rushed hack into the
parlor with ashen cheeks and widely-dis
tended eyes.
“() uncle!” she cried, “ did you hear
him? Home one out in the street utter
ing such fearful erics! He must lx- in
horrible agony. There lie goes again!
Why, uncle, someone is certainly being
murdered!”
Uncle lehabod now heard the long
drawn wheezy bray of an old asthmatic
jackass, and smiling reassuringly upon
the startled and excited girl, soothingly
said, “Calm yourself, my dear, it is not
so had as you think. He will wkiii get
over it.”
“ Why, uncle, who is it, ami what is
the matter witli him?”
“ Why, my dear child, how excited
vou are. It is nothing—nothing! It is
only poor neighbor Jones across the way,
He’ll soon calm down.”
“Calm down! But, uncle, why docs
ho take on so?”
“ Well, he is of a sensitive, nervous
constitution, and he has probably just
beard of the assessment ou the fcficrra
Nevada.”
A newly married lady was telling
another bow nicely her husband could
write. “Oh, you should just see some of
his love-letters!” “Yes, I know,” was
the freezing reply; “I’ve got a bushel of
’em in my trunk.”
Till: DirUHTIR'I MISML
“ 1 hav* liexight your Sinner, father,"
The hlnekimllh’* daughter utd.
As she l>k (non her sons * ketlia
A let lifted Its shlnliiK lid.
<* There's not my pie or podding,
tin I will Kira yon tlila,"
And llgon nta Iml-Worn forehead
Hlie fell a chtidwi kl.
Thn hln< ksmflh tore off hi* apron
And dined In happy mood.
Wondering mnrh at the aavur
llld m Iws Imuihl* loud.
While all a hoot him were vision*
Full ol prophatle htlsa; •
Hot he never thooKht of the mafic
in hislilll* daughter's kiss
WAIFS AMI WIIIMS.
Dm s not como it Miss -a baby hoy.
SaHiiv lmr lot who loves two swell.
Important suit first jacket and
Wowsers.
It HI.I IE the flea, when ydu jwif yotif
finger on a hornet, lie is there. • '
Misf its, as a class, must Imre very
poor memories. They are for-getting.
Scon,and must be it windy place.
They have Gaels there nil the time.
SnMIC of our sultseriliers are trying to
kill ilk with kindness- unremitting kind
ness.
SOMEBODY says that the flower of tho
family should lie well bred and havo
very little crust nlxmt her.
In rounding his |x*riods we are (mined
to notice that the tly gives no heed to
Wilson’s rules of punctuation.
Edi hon says tho newspapers make
light of his latest invention more suc
eessfully than he can do it himself.
AVhy is an empty fish net like an
English title of nobility? Because it la
u barren net. See?
’Tib passing strange tlmtsmid all the
mistakes of the world, nobody ewer
passed a quarter for a twenty-cent
piece.
A Pitii.ADKM'HIA barber refused to
color Boh liigcrsoll’s mustache, on the
plea that it never should l*e said of him
“ that be dyeil an infidel.”
When his wife nskH him for a dollar
or two for current demands, be smile*
sweetly and says, “True love, darling,
seeks no change.”
Wic lx liove that if an angel should
rail into the sanctum of tho average
scissors fiend, that lie would clip its
wings and pass them oas his own.
Voir might ns well bark a mule up
against a beehive and tell him not to
kick, as to tell a woman alxiut a wedding
and not set her under jaw in motion.
A man who had a pig to sell led it
into market, “Because, he said, “a
lead pig was heavier than the flesh and
blood k iiul.”
Just as soon as ladies’ belts are made
to look like surcingles horses will de
mand a change of fashion for them
selves.
Don’t judge a man by his clothes.
Can you tell what the cirrus is going to
he like by looking at the Italian sunset
pictures on the fence?”
Jon has been marked down in history
ns the patient man. The fact is that at
one time he was just boiling over with
impatience to die.
If the surrounding circumstances are
congenial, it is fair to couelltde that the
position preferred by lovers is juxtaposi
tion which suits them.
A niOJEOTILF. weighing 1,700 jMiunds,
shot from a cannon charged with 42fi
pounds of powder, is the latest. Why
not use the earth fora cannon hall?
An Irishman should patronize the
pavement, because every time
they look upon it they will see their
country's cmidem —sham-rock.
Kansas school-teacher: “Where does
our grain goto?’ “Into the hopper.”
“What hopper?’ “Grasshopper, tri
umphantly snouted a scholar. ’
Full tunny a flower wna lw>rn
To Munli iiiiawii,
Aid many a man take* tiix corn
M*l iml t he screen.
“I AM glad that painted lx*lts are in
style,” said a frisky fellow, as he artis
tically decorated the one he received
over the eye the previous day.
A it ati iti.K generally dyes by over
work.
Mary had a little lamb. It win
roasted and she wanted more.
EVEN criminals like paragiaphs thill
is to say, they prefer aslmrt sentence.
HrKNK, a horse ear. Enter an clalwir
nlcly dressed Indy, diamond solitaires,
eight button kids, etc. Car crowded.
At first no one moves. Boon a gentle
man offers his seat. “Thank you; you
Hie the only gentleman here. The rest
is lings.” Fact. — \Kx.
‘ 1 won't at all expect company to
day,” said a lady to her visitors, with a
not very pleasant look, “ hut I hojie you
will make yourself at home.” “ Yeic
indeed.” replied one of them starting off.
“ I will make myself at home as quick as
possible.”
Huhhano—“ Maria, my dear, you
seem to he very lonesome in my com
pany. Do you not love me now as you
did before our marriage?” Wife—“ Why,
of course, Gerald, but you know since
our marriage we have become one, and I
feel lonesome without a second party.”
“My dear,” said a smiling spouse tc
her other half, a morning or two since,
“1 am going a-shopping; I wants little
change.” “l’oohl” responded the un
gallant man, “that would la: no change
at all; you go shopping every day.”
Thf, Detroit Fret Prett says; “Keep
a young man in chase of a girl and ho
will let whiskey alone.” Now, girls,
the good work lies in your hands. Get
as many fellows on the chase as you
L'UU.
Neatness of attire should commence
in the schoolroom. A young lady should
dress just as carefully for sch(x>l as for
church or society; school is society, ami
to appear at school in a partial toilette
is a mistake so serious as not only to war
rant, but to call for corrective criticism.
A Bai.TIMORE inventor has a patent
for a suit of flying clothes. By working
the arms the man in the clothes mount#
lev von ward. Waterproof pantaloons
nft jackets are in one piece. To this is
asleiii and a reservoir of oiled silk, and
stretching from shoulders to waist. To
vaC'tann is attached a wing made of silk,
wish steel ribs. After the mortal has
essayed the flight of a bird, and is high
n air, he hoists a sail. A mast four
♦et 'ong is joined to his back, and a
triangular sail is set so as to be worked
by the feet.