Newspaper Page Text
Tbe CraiMllfi Democrat
CRAWFORDV1LLE - - GEORGIA.
WIT AND WISDOM.
Theke is one tiling about Munchausen,
■ays a Philadelphia paper, to his credit.
The Baron never tried to lie a weather
prophet. that the stingi¬
As Arkansas editor says
est man in his town talks through his his
nose to save the wear and tear on
false teeth.
The hearting “Another Safe Robbery
re. the South Side,” leads the Oil City
Blizzard to remark that most robberies
are safe nowadays.
Thk question is asked us if there is
anything that will bringyouth to women ?
Yes, indeed. An income of say $20,000
will bring any number of them.
An A Bahama judge has decided that a
man who puts his satchel on a seat in the
can reserves that seat—unless the man
who moves it is bigger than he is.
Correspondents of a daily paper are
discUHsing the question, “Can a man
marry on $10 a week." He cannot if the
girl is aware of the amount of his in
come.
A sardonic officer: 11 Don’t pull me
around ho,” Haul the thief to the police- !”
man, “ I have a felon upon my finger felon,”
‘•And I have my finger upon a
remarked the policeman.
A New Haves lady having noticed a
gentleman acquaintance standing in a
fixed position in a hook and paper store
recently, entered the store and asked
him if lie was stationery.
Teleohaiti wires are so numerous on
some of the streets of New York that
people living on a fourth floor flat can
sift their ashes by merely throwing
them against the net work.
Wr, have just received a sample copy
of a new song, entitled, “But Wl.odesires your arms
annual me, dear." Any ^ lady ««roffice
Ui try it can do so by 0f
’~ w<! u, " ,u ' tb0 s,,1 «’ 00Ur *\
A 0000 deal 1 of comment has , been
oaused because a Georgia man broke lim
baek with a sneeze; but how much
more wonderful it would have been bad
he broken Ins knees with Ins back !
“Why do yon carry your pockotbook
in your liaml?” asked a Philadelphia
husbaud of his yonug wife. “ Oh,” was
the quiet reply, “ it is so light that pocket.” I am
afraid it might jump out of my
The recent Congress passed a law to
prevent the importation of adulterated
teas. They should have put on a “rider”
to prevent the giving away of an unadnl
tended chromo with a pound of tea.—
Norristown Herald.
St Loots girls who go to tho cooking
schools won’t iiermit their linmes to be
known They are afraid that when their
lovers find it out they will want to marry
right off, and then they eon’t have any
more tmu—Philadelphia News.
Proper who live remote from tho sea
shore etui make a good artificial clam by
and eating il ,hen >t » aRouf Intf
""- J - -Vrathj,.,. vtter, t\iao tV’r*
utea •nva
Prertk}
Fifteen genuine Sioux Indian! labile who
are seeing Gotham amuse the
a hotel bv eating with their hands and
dressing outlandish 1 V . As they wear
Bilk hats they think they arc civilized,
Tliis is a very common mistake .-haJll among
other people 1 * besides Indiana
„...
f '~'
If your boarding . , house should , .. take . ,
fire at night what would you do to get
the iHiople out? asked the fire marshal
of an experienced matron, 0 li,.there
would he no trouble about that, was
the^ rep'y ; ‘ ' ^ , ’’ 1 d i us 1 * ll 6 the break
fast bell, auil all the hoarders would bo
in the tuning room in three minutes.
“Who are those two men?” asked
Deacon Gilpin of ’Squire McGill the
other evening. “Oh, those are the. men
who come to work in Joralum s place,
He has moved Joralum’» to Biughampton. place; why “To
work iu lie was
the laziest man iu Marathon 1 ” “I know
it, and that s the reason there _ s two of
them. It takes both of them to lx* as
lazy as he was ,”—Marathon Jndeprnd■
enl.
A New Method of “Tl•eatillg. ,,
A party of three or four gentlemen
who were iu a hotel s few days before
election were invited to “take some
thing” bv one of their number, save the
Middletown Pres*. After they had
taken it, and had chatted a few minutes,
another of the partv solemnly suggested
that it would be well to "take some
thing.” They accepted the They invitation, then
aud took something again.
started out and in a few minutes, as
they were the passing a stopped dry goods them, store, and
anotlier ol party '
said:
“Let’s go in and ‘take something.’”
“Why, that’s a dry goods store." said
one of the party.
“Well, what of it? Come in.”
In they marched, and ranging them
selves before the counter, tiie gentleman
wlio had invited them propounded the
question: ••What will take ?”
you
One of the party took a box of collars,
another took a clean shirt. When the
bill had been settled and they had
walked out, they look id at each other
sheepishly, time*the and began to see tiie for the
first foolishness of “treat
ing business. If men must treat, why
not do it iu a dry goods store ?
A Swixm.R.—The _ swindle planned , . bv
a Cincinnati showman consisted in .ul
vertismg for a treasurer for a candidate minstrel j
show and getting $500 from a I *
as wa.i pretended security. the A country of making grocer
caught bv prospect a
tom of rtie country all on a salary paid, of and $25 he a 1
with expenses
i-wu t |
muateurs, lureil into the amur at no cx*nt
to the manager, who fled with all the
money after the firet jvrformai re The
tracer i-ommitted »uicide. *
*
BETTER DAYS.
Better to timcl) the violet cool, than nip the
glowing wine; than watch
Better to hark a hidden brook, a
diamond shine.
Better the love of a gentle heart, than beauty’s
favors proud; living seed, than in
Better the rose’s roses a
crowd.
Better to live in loneliness, than to bask iuloTe
all day;
Better the fountain in the heart, than the
fountain by the way.
Better Vie fed by mother’s hand, than eat alone
ft! will" goods
Better to trust in good than say: “My
storehouse fill ”
my
Better to he a little wise, than in knowledge to
abound; child, than toil to fill perfec¬
Better to teach a
tion’s round.
Better to sit at a master’s feet, than thrill a
listening state; thou art proud, than lie
Better to suspect that
sure that thou art great.
Better to walk the real unseen, than watch the
hour’s event: than the
Better the “Well done !” at the last,
air with shouting rent.
Better to have a quiet grief, than a hurrying
delight; twilight of the dawn, than the 110011
Better the -
day burning bright.
Better death when work ih .... done, than earth „
a
, k . tt€r m a 0 /Jjq , Sl 1 "'ao'r«‘'great house, than the
king of all the earth.
Oeoboe MacDonald.
TIIE WAY HE PJtOrOSED.
Major Glinton was one of the most
courageous fellows in the world, accord
ing to the men who knew him; hut
when the ladies of his laughed acquaintance it
heard this opinion, they to
scorn, for they considered linn the most
timid creature they of had ever seen. they He
was very fond ladies society,
said, or he would not spend calls; all Ins even
parties or making yet not
one lady, old or young, single or nuir
"<-d, had ever known him to express l„s
^ would think of tombstone
as soon a or a
t( . lf . K1 , l)) | l po i„ attempting to flirt, Mosl
( j l( , j^ a ; or ’ s male acquaintances car
n(J( j RCam on their hearts, as results
()f atmekB more honorable than
judicious, or of sudden surprises could by fair
skirmishers; but no one imagine
the Alajor to have suffered any such mis
hap, for ne not only made no reconnois
nance, but he always retired precipitately
within himself at the first flash of a pair
of eyes leveled directly at him.
The truth was that tho brave Major
was not only 11s modest as n model
maiden, but he was painfully his life bashful
beside. The one desire of was to
marry, which lie was financially able to
do, but the important he preliminary lmd dared step
of proposing take. Until was he one reached never adult
to years
he hod met scarcely any to women whom but lie had his
t wo orphaned father, sisters, and whose
tried to be a upon
rru-e purity and sweetness he had base,
his ideas of womanhood. Both maimed
.... ... ( i H go«*d f«r(,.tm. .
I j at Ale worslnjad - ' woman one after apj^ared another, a
s;n,v. ^ b
;’ l n « ,m! >’ a tinle - “J*). bia
were so comict that he was obliged
*° '»s divinity about once in
1,1 tbr, ‘ l ‘ to avoid worshiping
another ( mans wife. Whenever an old
• c * r b, ‘ al !' ,, a, J d a debcI0Ua ‘'.robbing of
tbe boart told ( ,f a ,U 'Y dart th at had
found its way to lus heart, . lie vowed
solemnly to propose at once, and vary
the dreadful monotony of having another
man «to]> in before him. And each time
he (ie)avei i j,, st for tt llt w, or a week, or
because lie feared too much, or hoped
too wildly, and every time lie waited a
jjttle tin, long—every time but one.
p or when the Alajor met Alice Waller
son he felt that, to lose her. too, would
be mere than his life could endure.
She «as pretty, as all women seemed to
sweet, the Major. the Major She was good else and why she was
was sure, were
n n other women unusually fond of her?
Best of all, she seemed the most modest
Hlu j bashful maiden iu his whole circle
of acquaintance, and through these qual
ities would he able to offer him sympathy
with feelings that all other people
regarded with provoking smiles.
But how should lie propose ? Being a
woman, her bashful nature must lie far
more sensitive than his own, so, even if
he were to nerve himself to the ordeal,
^ 0,dd bo be enough of a brute to
J n ‘‘J c ‘ ff r,, a‘er trepidation upon her, if
*!' ' ov<>d ‘ u r ■ L' 1 ' 11 "ere she favorably
dls l H ' 8,Hl ‘ ow ««* hlm - >e was sure that
listening to a proposal would put her
heart 111 a terrible tumult; how much
Dior® dreadful would lt lie. then, for her
*'? to him should she not be favor
*hlv disposed. He knew that she always she
had j lK) k‘'d eveu at him I'oen pleasantly; grateful to he him felt one that eveu
ing, when both, at a party and both
half-hidden through timidity, retired to the same
each innocent corner of the of approach a drawing-room, the
of
other, and each anxious, on meeting, to
show that the affair was a mere accident.
This was the only basis of Glinton’s
hope, and yet—he had been disappoiut
ed so many times that he could not bear
to think of failure uow.
He made several calls, with the inteu
tkxn of proposing, but every time his
courage failed him. besides Airs. Waller
son or Alice’s sister Nell, were always in
the parlor; of course he could not say
Indore two what he dreaded to say even
„ , tb a single hearer. Worse still, Miss
x 0 ll. who was a brilliant brunette of tiie
irrepressible species, could not avoid
teasing him slyly at every possible op
portiuiity, aud he alwavs " lost his tongue
under ‘ her onslanciits. nsiaugnts.
, , **"£
*? ul f 01 of evenings he wrote
•’ to;ulli , , > ‘* ltb no more satisfactory result
! haB f Ml > ^fHereon. m which
h«- inteinhd to mdose his proposal.
“hance flnafiy came in prty to his aid.
the project 1 rhiI W'ggtxl that he
wonld . oall ,, and give . her 4 some assistance
among their mutual acquaintances
‘ nlou ? ^ As the Ma^r read
■ j note a bnihant thought occurred t >
him. While talking business Miss Nell
certainly would not endeavor troubled to tease him
him; his bashfulness never
while talking with ladies on any subject
requiring i-xecutive common sense, opinion and be
ability; he should therefore Nell,
able to feel at ease with Miss and
while in that unusual condition he would
make a confidant of her and ask her ad
tice and assistance. He would try to
talk to her as if she were a man; it might
be a rash experiment, but he felt equal
to almost any degree of rashness when
lie thought of how failed/ many times before he
had resolved and
So the Major went to the Wallerson
home on the evening Nell, with appointed by heart mis
chievous Miss a stouter
than he had felt, outside of business
hours, since the war ended. He arranged
with the young lady to bring all his male
friends into the surprise party, and she,
rather confused by her new view of the
Major’s character, was most effusive in
thanks, and being only twenty-three her
years of age and no older than years
signified, was completely astounded by
the Major’s coolness. She could not
help betraying her curiosity; she looked
at the Major inquiringly, she dropped mother,
into reveries, and she said to her
who came to the door of the parloramo
ment about some affair stictly of a family
nature, that Air. Glinton was entirely
different to what she had imagined him
to la,
But the Major business did not know all this,
and after the of the evening
ended he began to feel the o’d familiar
cold sweat that had been his torment in
the‘swamps of the Chicahominey,
teen years before. Conversation had
dropped to the dead level of the National
Academy, the last new novel, and
Brown’s last volume of poems, all of
which were very bad. Miss Nell looked
interested, pretty and sentimental until
the Major half wished she would be her
natural self, for he had at last roused
himself to the combative state,
wanted to talk with her in the most
seriaUs manner about her sister. At l:«t
he made a desperate effort and said:
“Miss Wallerson, I called this evening
only on business, but I have for a long
time wanted to say something ' to you "
about a matter”
“Excuse me, just for an instant. Ala
jor,” interrupted Miss Nell, “the gas is
hissing dreadfully. Won’t you be is; good I’m
enough to see which burner it
just too short to reach any of them, I’m
sorrv to Major sav ”
The hastened to the rescue.
He heard a hissing noise, as of the escape
of too of much gas, burners'wi he could Ault, >e sure
which the ux so
he turned down one after hr tr until Untl1
the noise stopped and til lor was
almost dark.
“You are very kind,” murm..dd Alias
Nell, her, a tshe Alajor resumed his dreadfully seat near
“the blowing of gas is
annoying to that”— the ear. By the wajq you
were saying
The Major resisted a temptation to
say, “Oh, nothing of any consequence,”
and said;
“I have been long the most reverent
adorer of a certain young lady who”—
“Oh, Major 1” exclaimed Alisa love. Nell; '*
“the idea of you being in -1
you’V f"' Jt ;
“B me
tent tp pa<^ an cS
of mind hut myse,,. a r.qiy Know m
own feelings, and merely wish ail oppor¬
tunity to explain them in such manner as
may he most respectful.”
Nell, “I beg your pardon, Alajor,’’said Aliss
continue, now entirely and believe on her guard. “Please
no one here can
doubt your sincerity.”
The Alajor’s heart gave a mighty
hound; evidently this mischievous girl
suspected something and was willing to
suppress herself.
“I have long been worshiping a lady
whom I would have been glad to make
my wife,” continued the Major, “if I
had not feared that my love and what
else I had to offer her would not seem
compensation for ” what she would he
obliged to give up.
Alajor,” “Your thoughtfulness does you honor,
said Miss Nell, in the kindest
way in the world.
“Thank yon—thank you,” said the
Major, hastily. “Perhaps, then, yon
will understand why I speak with more
than my customary freedom. Aliss Wal
lerson, I was trained in my youthful
days to such unquestioning reverenee
for woman ns woman that I feel almost
like a thief when I think of asking any
woman for her hand and heart.”
“Again, Alajor, I must sny that your
honor,” thoughtfulness said and delicacy do you
Miss Nell, as demurely 11 s
if she had never teased any ofle in her
life.
“Thank you—thank you,” said the
plain Major myself, again. if “I I would trouble like first to for ex¬
may you a
moment. I am, I believe, an honorable
man; 1 have a gtxxl business and a good
bank account. I want to devote both,
and my life, beside, to the service of the
sweetest woman that ever lived. I can¬
not expect her to love me as I love her,
for she is an angel and I am only—well,
only a man.”
“A true man,” said Aliss Nell, still as
demure as a parson, “is as good as any¬
thing else in the world—even as good as
a true woman."
“Do you really think so?" asked the
Alajor. “I must believe you against incli¬ my
will, but entirely according to my
nation. Well, the woman whom I love
you know verv slie well; no one can know
her better; is pure,, good, sweet,
noble, tender”—
“Major! Major!” exclaimed Miss
Noll
“Please don’t contradict me on this
particular point," said the Major; “I
really think I know—I am sure I do.”
“Then,” said Aliss Nell, “it would be
very realiv”— impolite in me to contradict, but
“Really,” said the Major, “I am
weighing •. my woids 1 most earehdly , „ and
mean all I say. I want to offer her all I
am and have, under any conditions she
mav uiqxxse. Don't imagine me impul
or rash in tins matter," continued
the Major, extending both his hands in
his earnestness. “I mean”—
What the Major meant was never
explained, for Miss Nell, entirely in
accordance with her own idea of what
Ci ‘"Eno^h^felT^nth^aTo^
mW
breast and threw her arms around the
Major's neck.
What could the astonished man do?
What would any gentleman do in such
circumstances ?" Miss Alice tripped into
the parlor, found , it dar , __ P +Vl „
, -
gas, saw the couple and x a .
“Oh, my. . xfotr.i-'a
Her sister looked up • 3 •
face for a second, then nPI ‘ ’
on aw sliouuer, an sai .
An » ® h • i m] ,. „ j nllm fu
tace , . . it y | h , *
_De , „
logins u. ' ' ' J
d ™L?tfhe fJJfnl C^e 1-1 i -
anus a ]/ jj. ° tWt rest-
1 ’ an( " ; *
’
, . ' v v i... ^ „ married ten
°
/ S , /y/j )vS«a son to re 6 „ ret
1 J '
^ CAIRO ’ OSTRICH J_ FARM.
nun to tiie Brectiin K Enclosures wale*
Htund Beside die Virgin’s Tree.
~~
Hi witn crowd , 1 . , es
company a au
and right honoral) es, w o lave a e y
been visiting the scenes > ‘ '
seley , s latest ana m g ..e
nients, ^ a hiew lor j- 1
ent says. 1 wen os ■
archaemogica ‘arm. ,verytnmg se 1 ig. rr?"
=■
Tel-el-Kebn—the Big Mound_is . noth
Mg leas than e -■ •
m ‘ 1
,, bmt by tiie Jews T mlli , > -
'“S?* e A/airo r , - ostn , ■ . , ■
vithm a pistol s 10 . ’■ ' v -
,. ,
S m 8 tree, which ,
, shade of which tradition , tens
ns a ‘ Yirgm Y 1 .1 li, ‘ -‘.+..
an< , J ° ae P“ , reposet „
•
^gypt from Mura 1
the Yirgin s tie ( „„„„„ P
_
‘ b T?i ’
-restaurant, , tnat ( 1 na. „ , >. •> 1 . 11 .- <,,.„rib “
, , .
J'?,,',,, of the wlu/visit corps’de
ballot, and>ot th tmnists •,
, , ,
_
„®tmake “ef an excursion to the sacred tree
a “'inlbosi/li-v l r esh them inner man at the con
irX’s The ostrich farm extends from the
V tree to the desert and com
n rlS es several acres of land surrounded
w hffih ffmi mud walls The greater part of
the Ls desert not because it is in
canabffiof capahJe of cultivation citiv. , but because the
'^Tn,eme of the/strich There are at
^resent on the farm 120 birds of more
than a year’s growth and of these fifteen
are female a a t
tbat ° sa J- the y tba “ tb f,f
years old the age at which they com
mence Twelve tolay. of the adults lajung
are now
and three are engaged in hatching—one four¬
being upon twenty-two, one upon
teen, and one upon eleven eggs.
Strange to say, the male bird attends
more to the hatching part of the busi¬
ness than the female, especially in cold
or rainy weather, and in fact often under¬
takes the whole of that tedious duty
himself, being only relieved by his better
half at meal hours.
Air. Wetter, the ostrich director, has
' very fortunate in his efforts to
-u
ostrich in SVjyr*- Out
-<is Wtehfxi >aai seinson eighty
y&sriiiigs' are now alive and healthy—a
very successful result when it is borne in
mind that during the late Arabi un¬
pleasantness the ostriches were much
neglected. After visiting the breeding
enclosures and those where the yearlings
were parked we were conducted to the
incubating house and to a wire cage
where this season’s birds were scamper¬
ing about full of health and vigor. By
applying one blackened of the eggs to a hole cut in
a piece of cardboard and plac¬
ing it against the sun the ostrich farmer
showed ns a young bird which had been
incubated by artificial means and had
reached maturity, actually pecking at
the interior of the shell and struggling to
break out of prison.
Measuring Men by tlieir Clothes.
The Concordia, La., Sentinel says
We are told of a funny little incident
which occurred a couple of weeks ago
at the Clarmont store on Lake Concor¬
dia. The story goes iu this way; The
clerk was occupied in waiting on his
numerous customers, when a rough¬
looking stranger walked in, and, lightly
springing up to a seat on the counter,
proceeded to make himself at home.
The clerk gazed upon the stranger for a
while, apparently sizing of stranger’s him up and cheek re
fleeting on the size a
who would go into a store and, without
leavd or license, proceed The to make could him
self so familiar. store-man
stand it no longer, and going up to the
rongh-looking chap, said:
••Look here! This is no place for
loafers: get off the counter !”
Apologizing' The stranger obeved the command.
for the liberty taken, he
then proceeded to introduce himself in
! he politest manner possible. remarked,
“My name,” the stranger
* ‘is Mandeville—Lord Mandeville.”
It appears that it was Lord Alande
viHe who was on a visit to his wife’s
father, Air. Yznaga del Valle. He was
out on a hunting expedition, and had
crone to the shop to take a seat to eat his
lunch Of course it was then the clerk’s
turn to apologize, which he did in the
profusost manner, and a hearty laugh all
around, in which his lordship friendship joined,
was indulged in. Quite a has
now sprang up between Lord Mande
ville and the clerk.
The Time.
Speaking of interesting feals in teleg
raphy, a San Francisco paper words recalls between a
noteworthy exchange of
that city and Valencia Bay, Ireland. An
unbroken circuit was made from San
Francisco to Heart’s Content (some
4,500 miles), the cable landing on the
American side, and the operator there
was asked by the operator in San Fran
cisco to see how soon he could get an
answer from the other side of the ocean.
The message sent from San Francisco
was: “ To operator, Valencia Bay: Ten
o'clock here : what time is it witn you ?”
Almost instantly the reply came : “Six
The exchange of
words occupied et more than three
minutes.
TWO WAYS IN LTFE.
A liomanre ol ibe I.at<- iiovernor Stephen*’*
I.ife.
In one of the early years of the forties
Mr. Stephens, then a young man, paid
a visit to the home of Mr. Warden, in
Warren County. There he met a flax
en-haired, bine-eyed girl of sixteen,
beautiful in face and lovely in character;
piquant, witty and gifted with a mind
rarely cultivated. An attachment grew
up, which for years did not pass the
formal bounds of friendship, but which
was sacredly cherished by both. The
boy lover was poor ill this world’s goods sick
—fragile in frame and harassed by the
ness > ke did not dare to aspire to
band of one whom he had learned to
love, and yet forbore to claim. With
womanly devotion the girl read these
cret in the young man’s eyes, and true
to her heart, she could only wait and
love. One evening in 1849 a party was
given at the residence of Mr. Little, in
Crawfordsville. There the two met once
more—there they enjoyed that sweet
commun j on bom" of perfect trust—and
jhere Stephens found courage to
gpeak the words which for years, had
f 0U ght f or expression, until at last he
could no longer contain them.
“ Are you sure that there lives none
other whom you prefer ta me ?” asked
the maiden timidly, £ lialf-slirinkinglv Valfa- yet
on]y too happy t fcel that sbe
vored in his eyes.
the whole universe there exists
not another,” said lip passionately.
Thus their troth was plighted; the
day was set for their marriage, and ail
seemed auspicious for the lovers. But
clouds lowered o’er their hones; matters
of a private natlli0 wdiicli itMs not within
the domain of the public to know- inter
vened and deferred the fruition of tlieir
hopes. The one became immersed in
politics, hesitated and, racked with where physical feared ills,
to enter a state he
the happiness ^ of the other might be
marre Tbe lady found her duty by
the side of an mva bd mother, who long
lingered with a b confining disease. Thus trotb
tbe 7 ear ? ^ J> bnt llle
was kept. Air. Stephens never addressed
another, and ever kept the image of the
fair young girl in Ins heart. The lady
was th ? recipient of admiration from
They have to often “P slle met fumed since a and deaf while ear.
tbs ld ^ a of marr ? a 8 e was abandoned,
the 7 felt a sweet pleasure in each other s
society. But a few weeks ago the lady
was at the mansion, and on taking leave
°. f h ° r ol<1 frjend > °“ e of the cba ’ r3
Hpped np, an unfavorable , sign, . as the
Governor remarked at the time The
lady lias tor years been a resident of At
lanta,:and £ no one is held in more esteem
for qlla]ity wl ,i C li adorns woman
hood than Miss Caroline Wilkinson.
^ j u
Making Him Useful.
A learned physician once declared
that the manifestations of disease were
so varied that he should not be surprised
at any symptom, however peculiar. If
that learned man is still alive, he ought
to start at once for Charlotte. N. C., to
assist in the diagnosis of a malady which
for named over A. a ALT mnf'th ri^ilheim, has afflicted aged ei ghteen. a boy
If ice-cold ,an ordinal water iud that
wretched youth’s
feet are placed in it, the water grows
hot so rapidly that within six minutes it
is at the boiling point. Wilhelm suffers
intense pain, and his tubs have to be
continually task, changed; which is no light
considering that his feet raise the
temperature of the water at the rate of
30 degrees a minute. And yet, in the
Divine economy, even such a sad fate
as Wilhelm’s has its compensations. It
is manifest that he would be invaluable
in a Russian bath establishment, for if
he can make a tub of ice water boil in
six minutes, he could, convert the coil
teuts of a reservoir into steam within an
hour. Or he might be employed to sit
upon the tender of a locomotive with his
feet in the tank, at small expense to the
company and most agreeably to himself.
■Moreover, he would find poetic justice
in the latter occupation, for his malady
is supposed to be due to a violent shak¬
ing administered to him by a steam I’ll
gine, into which a full head of steam
was accidentally turned whiie he was
cleaning it.
Statistics of Metropolitan Life.
Over one-half of the 1,500,000 people
bvm 8 111 Xe ' v York have tlieir homes iu
tenement houses. If to this number are
added those who live iu flats—which are
tenement houses of a comfortable sort—
:uu ‘ 111 ‘he stylish apartment buildings,
and those who reside in the hotels, and
“ a thiru reduction is made for those
"ho share a house with one or twofami
hes, the number ot families who have an
entire house to themselves will be
to be very small indeed—not oue in ten.
Some of the statistics of Metropolitan
life vei 7 cunous - For instance, we
pay $7,000,000 that for our amusements, and
“ 18 supposed our 10,000 whisky and
beer saloons gather in three times as
mone > T at the Ieast > wllile the item
of education costs us $4,000,000. The
average of wages paid m our manufac
tones is $424 ayear-or $1.37* a day
and if it were not above the average
P ai o elsewhere it be impossible to
pay our high rents. There is a wide field
f< J r “;^ na ^i >pera tl T he ^’ for ord
of 2,0,496 children , between the ages of
hw and eighteen only 115,826 attended
Sunday school last year. Indeed, not
withstanding churches tbe efforts of public and
P r ‘™‘e and the work of chari¬
table societies (and the amount paid out
in charity foots up over $4,000,000), a
ragged and reckless army of 10,000 chil¬
dren ran about the streets without care
or instruction.
A Painful Death. —A fisherman in
Hull, England, died a little over a fort
night since after suffering excruciating
tortures from some internal malady that
his medical attendants could not grapple
xvl th. Just before his death, he expressed
deeire that his body shotfid be subjected J
-
post-mortem examination, . which
a
was done, and the fact was developed :
that his liver had been nearly eaten away
_ bv a SHL whole triehinV army of living creatures, |______ re
sembling --'“"I It is believed that |
- «*»-*
rite :n eating some uncooked meat.
change county milk.
g ow j t Wai Firm Sent to tiie New York
Marker.
In a recent conversation with a re
porter, Thomas J. Taylor, an old milk
producer, of Florida, N. Y., gave a short
history of the growth and method of the
milk traffic in Orange County. He
said:
“ The first milk shipped from Orange
County to New York was in April, 1842, then
and was produced on the farm L.
owned by Philo Gregory. William
Langridge worked Mr. Gregory’s farm,
and sold to Mr. Gregory the milk at two
j cents a quart, delivered New on York the cars by the at
Chester. It went to
j j passenger train in the morning, to Pier
mont, and thence by boat. The first
j j shipments with their were contents made were in churns, weighed, which and
, twenty cents a hundred was charged for
: freight ani two shillings six pence for
cartage from the boat to the milk depot
at No. 80 Thompson street, New York,
Mr. Gregory employed a man to sell his
milk, paying him" $10 a month and
board, and sold his milk at four cents
per quart. Mr. Langridge in one year
and a half made an assignment, while
Air. Gregory, at two cents a quart, paid
his freight, cartage, rent (which was and
$50 per year for a basement room)
help, and established a business which
has since grown to enormous propor
tions. It was soon found that two cents
a quart was a losing business, and for
many years it was sold by the farmers at
two cents a quart for four months, three
cents a quart four months and four cents
a quart fom- months. These were the
established prices until 1861, during
which time butter sold in the early
spring and fall of the year from one
shilling and sixpeifre to"two shillings a
pound, and dairies fo>- season at 16 to 20
cents. When the war broke out prices
ran wild, farmers receiving as high as
four cents in summer, six cents in
spring and fall, and eight cents in win
ter. Butter was worth from 50 cents to
75 cents at the farmer's door. After the
war, and up to 1871, farmers sold their
milk to the dealers at the market price ;
the dealers made the puce at its honest
value, and the farmers were satisfied.
In November, 1871, milk had been sell
ffig during the whole month at six cents
and freight on the platform called at Jersey
City. N. D. Woodhull a meet
ing of the milk-dealers together m 30th Hes- of
ter street, New York, on the plan of
November, and proposed the
making the price five cents saying that
no one farmer could or would contest the
price. He carried his point and ever
since the price has been made Woodhull by the
sa me combination, led bv Air.
until he died.”
An Essay on Roller Skates.
The roller skate, says Bill Nye, is a
wayward little quadruped. It is as
frolicsome and more innocent looking
t(ian a lamb, but for interfering with
obe’s upright attitude in the community r
it is perhaps the best machine that has
appeared in Salt Lake City.
One’s first feeling on standing uncontrollable up on a
pair of roller skates is an
tendency to come from together. One
foot may start out toward Idaho while
Arizona. The legs do not stand by each
other as legs related by blood should do,
but each shows a disposition to set up in
business alone, and leave you to take
care of yourself as best you may. The
awkwardness of this arrangement is ap¬
parent. While they are setting up in¬
dependently, there is nothing for you to
do but to sit down and await future
developments. And you have to sit
down, too, without having made any
previous preparation for it, and without
having devoted'as much thought to it as
you might have done had you been con¬
sulted in the matter.
One of the most noticeable things as
a skating rink is the strong attraction
between the human body and the floor
of the rink. If the human body had
been coming through space for days and
days, at the rate of a million miles a
second, without stopping at eating
stations, and not excepting Sundays,
when it strikes the floor, we could un¬
derstand why it struck the floor with so
much violence. As it is, however, the
thing is inexplicable.
There are different kinds of falls in
vogue at the rink. There are the rear
falls, and front falls, the Cardinal Wolsey
fall, the fall one across the other, three
in a pile, and so on. There are some of
the falls that I would like to be excused
from "describing. The rear fall is the
favorite. It is more frequently utilized
than any other. There are two positions
in skating, the perpendicular and the
horizontal. Advanced skaters prefer the
perpendicular, while others affect the
horizontal.
Skates are no respectors of persons.
They will lay out a minister of the
Gospel or the Alayor of the city as
readily as they will a short-coated, one
suspender boy, or a giddy girl.
When one of a man’s feet starts for
Nevada and the other for Colorado, that
does not separate him from the floor or
break up his fun. Other portions of his
body will take the place his feet have
just vacated, with a promptness that is
surprising. And he will find that the
fun has just begun—for the people look¬
ing on.
The equipments for the rink are a pair
of skates, a cushion, and a bottle of
liniment
Sandy was a country gardener, and,
iike many other country lads, he had a
sweetheart. One night Sandy told her
that he “likit” her “awfu’ week” She
simply responded “Ditto.” Sandy was
not very sure what that meant, but he
thought he would ask his father. So the
next day while at work he said: “Father,
can you tell me what ‘ditto’ is?” “Ou,
ay, Sandy,” replied his father. “Dae
ye see that cabbage?” “Yes.” “And
dae ye see that ither ane, that it’s jist
the same? Weel, that’s ditto.” “Gra¬
cious guidness!” exelaimed'Sandy. “Did
6he ca’ me a cabbage?”
A . . . his
scissors-grixdeb was ringing
bell “to grind,” on Brush street, when a
young man called him to him and asked
“Say, can you sharpen everything?” you*
“Yes, eafervtings.” “Can sharpen
“II/?’/ /„T° n / I*/!
hack-spring put in first! I must ha
sometings to hang on py !”