Newspaper Page Text
. * VILLK.'HPJ , ,,
rrr ’Kir )K<»1 A
NOT WILLING TO GO. ... i
A U«»r saarr About it Jlun in Who AVooH
. i
Dr. I>io Lewis says : I used to know]
a carpenter win
invalid. I mv her f
K be
With
I vous little ones, life va* a dtov- auft nig ht
torture. The husband was
healthy ily, but man, believed and in provided mgsei for
no
women. He knew his wife wa * a great
sufferer, and that the m ode.h*
almost wild, but he at “B
like children, what in
,J meTamwife was on tli V 7ni
of ’
told jit.
the win t/>
do
night. leni gVr Tnrg
He was the in
meefings in ius church, ami had a tre
mendoUHVpiom A
<) - ,
Lichen, chUdfoU. surrounded 1% dffi#l« by her iteid half-wild t$o
d«fc2jUi<*£! wAal to
Hiwlj. rvffis LowWi-h.' the
cluiiIron in rni hae
m
*■ "win iiaiiimpTiiy impTW mmr
OJi, Imw I long f«>r the© I”
and when I told Iter bo must keep tho
children away from her us much as i a >h
sflile, she odrifehsid that lie lind sard ho
would in>t' f*uppr>rl hia family and Tiutso
liftblOH in tho bargain.
Before leaving, I wont it) to ttco the
singer. He told me that he conld sing
different “Jerimalem, My and Happy ofTerel Lhamj," td imfigUt tl'n’in
nfd. times, f* (o afcg
tfll for T fctu-if lwii. Tie hail
the voice of a bull. Laying his head
buck >i) he Ins big armchair, mid closing his
eyes, ftCfitnlly made tilings tremble.
jHetehl^ni o tlmt t h is wus liis favprito
“the spirit an iding.”
tflWW ew 7 lit gilts r later 1 tosio thin
nuuu iq how a Utev'w c<-Im, I wiw on tip-top
to see a man who hop 1.1 sing witn
“the spirit end tho nndordfanding” “.Je
rusiilom, f*h, how I long for thee” ih
•ight dillerent tons), would bplin ve With
* look sti'>8f‘ crdtej' ) never had ,a patient
patlieiio up mb) apiHiui my face with more of that
!” -“Oh, doctor, save me I
save me !
I learned afterward that ha sang tlua
at joim IflWlolioP! frequei , HH.l
’ltan
<1,
“My GimI 1 I am nfarid it iH all over with
He. Ol^, doctor, can't you give mo
something powerful? I’ll take any¬
thing.”
When a moment of relief name I ooitlil
cot ri'sist saying:
“Ymmyuig ‘Jcnisnlem, oil, liow I long.
fitHfoJwilfc pecT<Hili>finiT Itidi yofivviTTTng Uw*:l to go. rtjBter- •*
“Oh, don’t lalk that way,” he criisl ;
“that's a vwy■ 4iiterant thing; that*
only Hingin'. Oh, doctor, it’s n-comin'!
It’s 0-Citoin* !’ f •
Wlten tbe gripes got n * good hold, I
Jujvcr Hflvr n hmnsn face with less of tho
“far away USck” in it. On thoVoutrifry,
thereWaft 'an expression of jutenso in
uH Btf iing 'N c rr nH»Pii omKr~
Ini 4ni.ii Gloria im
A largo family rJ small wi4! dressed children can
be kept prettily and for a
small suite! of money if care usi mp'
more cheaply dressed than boy's in
trousers.
A dainty little house dress for a little
tetWi jct
ton filing buy excellent I Wi‘Uty^ftv|v material otmt* of » kind. y*i\t
will tile
Bcartet tlauuot at Urn saute price w ill
nntke pretty jersey waiste which are at
prqfient n> faalMomrtlle, and a yard or
twp\)f lirighrt plaid will make a dainty
plaited skirt.
A very handsome suit for a boy of
three or four can be made of dark-green
m ii mm lln i n $ 1 a
vtvnl; three yards will in like a plaited
of of the velvet. ~.i|if JRi
out n piece
One of the daintiest little saoquwtseen
this winter, on a baby of two, white was made
by a mother out of an old wish
IV.mu hoods for school wear cau be
made out of piceeaof crimson flnuneJ,
faced with a fnllin^ of laoe and Ued wiai
eriiusiftt ribltoii atmigst.
AJbandy mother hits justoomplctedaq
MtqiJaito littlo suit for her danghfi r of
ten, mode out of an old piano cover. It
kewfcloth. box-plStcd I The skirt dr^t and jacket wm nuvk tv'.fist. «*h. and a
'
trinnued with braid. The gold embroidery
bun mnU
the costume looked like an imported
IttUltm*- pafter» A |tUec.Hwr«Mi» I u
~A a.uTx.wx ... . fffiaVf. 1
cheap p . . >
of cightwa.-iroidsbyaolcv.rigAter. the muler Tfis
dress ls cut pm eeH.se, one be
-
dnL 'winch c.' iuki 5|i «V«gh
**1 **iiiL
blue ribWWwWWi. ■• ot * **>
Fully to understand a grand and beau¬
tiful thought requires, perhaps, as mucL
time as to conceive it.
EDITORIAL M)TkS. ®
Tiie clergymen of JndiauiapoUs have
formally rearitnmmddA thkl funeraUfcer
vices shall be perfor med on secular days
in prfVatedwe11ings,and not in thehonses
tf leave worship; of the (lead that: rat ; nha th
remains shall not lie exhibited tfl
public, and that with a view of M
ing he burden of < xp(4i*<*, me sfl
shalt be on one day and the burifMi*
f»tkiy,performed on the next. MflKt
clergymen of Indianapolis live th'-tSw to sjHbi
many funeralj,and;never goto
ft
lowing shows the wealth June,H pf
ales outlie 1st of gf)
( represent n 0 millions <a| % P
I :
Farms ; .3 197
...V*•
« realsstite, cato
asintsl. ini ludiM ag
M»' i/»*P ..... m4'’
flahrwJ* ««A vqnipments......, o c
Tele«rsplt'«. sapping a»d cnvli- . 419
"Kvi^Wtfc, wfcelher on or < II farms|
farming tools Mil -maciiim-ry........ i 2,400
fornitu.-c, j> .inving-, I ooks,
Wothing, jewelry, household suppifeaj
of food, fU'-l, e!<- 5,000
Mums (iuclmlmg.p.lroltum wells) and
with one.half of
the “nnu.d proiuct reckoned as the
Jf PF't 0 " hand „ ....... .. ................ 780
l»ee quarteis of Uhl andusl product
«F«JH3Es
. supply on t hand . 6,10C
fftmrcneH, achool asylnmi, public build
iu(|i of all kinds, and other re 11 es¬
tate exempt from taxation ...... 2,000
gpeoie ............................................. 612
Miaoellanermi Items, inclnd.ng tobli of
mechanics ................................... 050
* f ..... 43,555
The New York Star leeently publish¬
ed tho following list of foreign land¬
holders in America, with the extent of
their fwwMMmimm t Acres.
ny, NcW
4,500,000
An B'lglteh tyn'lieatc No 3 in
Texas.............'.......I................ 3,000 000
$fr K4 ward Reid and a nyodijiite I'}.’..
in Florida.................. 2,000,000
English HViidicnte in Mistittsippi... 1,8 <j,o<K)*
liarqnis of Tweeildale l,7o(),000
I’iiilii|>s, Marshall A (5o., London... IJiOO.OOO
German syndicate 1 , 100,000
p - Auitricau syndicate, „M r.
Roger s, I're gitlni*, London 750,000
1? r vm. r ^^" n - ia
Missisr ppi ......... .............. 700,00*'
Duke of S mjherlftnil.................. 426,4)0
British band company in Kansas ’ 3.0/)00
William Wtmlley, M P, Peterss
t-!>ro, K.)glant!........................... 310,000
Missouri Laud company, Edinburg,
Scotland .................... 300,000
TvnwnApf iio»d$q...’.,..- 280,000
Dundee Lind company, Scotland, 237,000
Lord Luumore .................... 120,000
Bnijrmtn Newgiu Liverpool 100,000
Lord Uoughtou, iu Florida 60,000
Lord r 1 Du IV nr*veu, in . Colorado......... , . 60,000
EnKlisl* Land ooinpany in Florida 50,000
Bnfffsb T.md company, Leioettelsiure, Arkansas 50,000
Albert Peel, M P,
R n „r»'nd v. '* hJJto
Sir .U^xjni|i-r J L Kay. Yorkshire, England... 5,(KK)
Ortnt, el London, in
, 35,000
Ernglish syndicate (represented by
West Virginia 600 000
A Scotch syndicate in Florida...... 500,OX
A. Hoy sen, kI Uapndi Consul iu Mit-
60 001
many, of lCiin
turg, Scotland ...................... 165,00(
Tota'...... ........... ... ......... 2Q,747,000
tt s'* «be^ Hli^j’aTea of the
^
^
The value the .
cuinpous of agneul
turul interest ia shown by the census
retKirt, now in press, from which we
learn that the value of farms in the
United States is $10,107,000,000; twice
as high as all tire railroads and their
WTpturffr.'lSWTTaTr'pcr cent higher than
alh.it her roj ttitte jronertv and the
f,i [08 . The
f#u i-k(N-t. r 'isyluniA «howe ;M x mid ptiblic
buildings exempt from taxation are val
ued at $2,000,000,000, a little lees than
one-twentieth of the valuation of al
tszmt of eongross
s ""\ w * idl MlrTl ' vrs ,,f ar1n *
at the rate of $4 per month until tiie age
of 60. and $8 per month after *tM
:iU ^filters
& , -
i*Xr Eds tfs the wiS a
^ tdrtlk and ix-r dav ta/eUb
'
day of imprisonment.
-------
5n a«f Wrick.q Meuntiunt the inhabf
tants all wear snow shoes. These shoes
poiiahed wetxl and are fnu&
four to fourteen feet iu lc,«th. They
Wslide, down Bills and
rUe On
!<"•* groamd a-pote fc earned to aid in
pushing the indestrian along and it is
also of service in ascending and deeend
,„ s hi::, a»a «* . ».
lomed to these snow shoes can travel
fifty imles across cofflftry ft' a day of tea
hours, m -------
«+**' witb the v*™ to « ** mnBpn -
adulterated goods, ih accom
Z sabstaaii*! result-. Since the
: of thasiael 856.2bl-pwiJkage8 have
40 ’ 000- ’
’ or ” ’
Ed! ajn«tmed A
%plri|<)i» 1 til also re
ll and ^ a i n an tit - r
i!i 1 di
no- i ITi s su<"
ibtj ir si us ies. couiil not
ventured ffici«JEiiS|>f-ction.
Thelofadim in iS« was C°I
jiUuutls, m,m in bo ^4,0 pounds, 0,000 and
1
u 1880, 81,000,00')- poftrufe. ’
Tun Black Flags, the pceulwr people
with whom the French are at wjtr in An¬
num, have a strange hi»tc Over
twenty years ago Leir YuenMoju fled
with a remnant of the Canto Ajebeh opined to
Annam, where Hie little band
the protection of .the king. The’ Black
Flags, as they wore called, w“re.allowed
to cultivate tliVi ‘Vihl countryih the
mountains, and in the course of a few
years they declared their,independence
arid organized a government of their
own. People flpeked to tlic Black Flags,
towns sprang up and their country pros¬
pered. The colony now numbers about
200,1)00. Their army is formidable and
their natural defenses in the shape ‘of
rocky mountain ranges and v/pier bar¬
riers make their position almost inipreg
uable.
Shorthand writers are in great de¬
mand, and tho most expert command
fine salaries in certain positions, but it is
a mistake to suppose » that wfcre profi
c'ency in stenography is all t^at is re¬
quired. Tho shorthand writer must be
a good penman, and he must be thor¬
oughly up in spelling, punctuation and
grammar. A knowledge of business
forms is also essential. Many business
men are satisfied with slow -shorthand
writers, as they get them at low salaries
Very ordinary stenographers command
$|5 4 typewriter wcj^k, a competent from stenographer $30
and cau ge. $20 to
per week, and a few get $2,000 a year,
but high sidarios are not paid for short¬
hand alone—the writer must have other
qualities which make him a valuable man
to his employer. In Bmlon 2)0 persons
(Mu their support by s horth and, while
in her'will fliicago reaAli jt is cytiui^j.ted jJ t^f ’ num
who proposes to make money as a steno¬
grapher must make himself something
of ft lawyer, a business man, and a thor¬
ough master qf rapid composition and
legible writing.
The tyranny of the Mormon system
is simply indescribable. When tho mis¬
sionaries make female converts abroad
they send the r photographs to Utah.
At tho Sunday services in tho temple
Anose"Jncrffrea are* ItTsplayciT from the
pfilpit, and rH good* Mormons who need
fresh wives inspect these portraits; select
the woman they want, Ami furnish mon
ey to pay their passage to Utiili. When
the female.con verts arrive they arc fre¬
quently dragged from the cars by the
brutal Mormons who have bargained for
them, placed in wagons and driven
away. Tho initiations into the church
and tho marriage ceremonies at the en¬
dowment house are represented as
being brutal and shocking in the ex¬
treme. Mormon wives are compelled to
labor to support their husbands. Once
under Mormon rule it is difficult to es •
capo. The government is tyrannical.
No one can build a house or plant a tree
without a permission from the head of
the church. In the schools tire children
are forced to study the Book of Mor
men. The young people aro trained up
in hosti ity to the national government,
and aro educated in the belief that oaths
administered by courts and civ 1 authori
»j ea ^ not bif^ng. This makes Min'
inoI19 aleo utely useless as witnesses anti
jurors, and protects Mormonism from ex
posnre in the courts.
AjStASItewt article in a western piper
takes the position that the medical x pro
Tiio
^e power of gr.uiUug diplomas. Let a
,. 0 lege be created, or a board of ex ami
new l>i kppbifitod. ’Diev telte have 110
a w , rtl huh surnuu, R;lJbe a.ta De „ so
an ^ to be dependent ujxm the ex
Wtl* inscribe (ho Tengilf U ^ e ‘V* of ^cotuwe ‘^e power and the to
studitw 'jl ! iu the «.-h X ,rtl, i^l.nn t “
lias siwh a board. , , Lumet medical 7 col
a
tege in the state. No diploma is good
thefe, natU. and aU tuust submit to an exami
In the faaf four yeais this hoard
(rom 4wentv-tiucx? different
^ ■'•censes tq «*? practice. 1*1 ?*** Ending and obtained long re
a
port of its work the board states: “There
is no discipline and little training worthy
a ft, m n ot „ »■
leges. Ihere is no stands d of examina-
'Won is & terrible i
fraBMat bin aa d men, K " t
lina hoitrd holds firmly to the opinion
aie»:'.........
_^___ > . T 1-i vt? JN-Hj 1VC *V o«
Leon county, Florida, land, near lake
Jackson, is worth $5 per tcre. •
Nkvrly 800 students are enrolled at
the Athens, Tenn., Univendtv.
During - the past 800
year ovor new
buildings were erected in Monuromery, ~ ‘
Alabama.
The total value of property iu Ken¬
tucky owned by the colored i>eople is
83(880,409.
Ix is stated that the life insurance bus¬
iness was unusually profitable during
the year 1883.
A Shipment of twenty-five hundred
rabbits was made from Ilenrv county,
Tenn., a few days ago.
Cinttn'N'ati is to have a fourth bridge
over the Ohio river, to be built this year
at a cost of $1,250,000.
The shipments of pine timbor from
Alabama through the ports of Pensacola
and Mobile in 1882, were $32,263,137.
Since January, 1883, the Iredstead
factory at Loudon, Tennessee, has aver¬
aged 4,000 bedsteads and 2,500 chairs
monthly.
Fifteen babies were bom in Robert¬
son county, Ky., during the recent cold
weather, when the thermometer was at
its lowest point.
“Aunt Most,” a well known col¬
ored woman of South Nashville, was
married a day or two since. She is
about one hundred years old.
Edison says that the incandescent
light is a success and in a year you will
see it shining out of every window from
the Brooklyn to the Harlem bridge.
Eeturnr to the Georgia Department
>1 Agrir ffiows the damage to wip¬
tor oa’ eout freeze to bo CO pel'
cent ana i -vlieat 30 per cent.
James Ri■ i , trainer for the Dwyer
Bros., in five yeors 1ms won for that firm
not far from $400,000, and nearly all of
the amount with Kentucky horses.
Agents of a New York firm are scour¬
ing the woods of Arkansas for hla^k
walnut trees, for which $1 each is paid,
the logs being shipped to Non Orleans.
A Pulaski county, Ky., man one day
last week killed 60 rabbits without th J
aid of a gun or dog. He jerked them
out of the snow and killed them with a
stick. 8
About the 15th of February the
bronze statue of General Lee will be
shipped from New York to New Orleans.
It will adorn the apex of the monument
in Lee Place, formerly Trivoli Circle.
.Of Mexico’s debt of $117,000,000, En¬
glishmen hold about $85,000,000. Ths
rest is held in New York. The republic
annual reveuuo is about §33,000,000,
mainly fr >m the stamp tax and tariff
duties,
It is stated aVthe opinion of a noted
meteorologist, that the railroads and tel¬
egraph liues form a net work of electric
conductors which tend to equalize the
climate of our country, that of tho north
becoming wanner and of the smih
colder.
Frogs, snakes and turtles are the
principal enemies of the carp. It is said
that a rneSjum sized snaks wi 1 eat 5.000
young carp in a single summer. The
fish is very popular in Georgia, and in
almost every neighborhood carp ponds
may be found.
Mb. Depao, the wealthy glass manu
factum- of ^ Indiana, predicts that gas¬
wells will revolutionize the manufactur
ing business of the country. He shows
the faith of his convictions in that he ia
developing a well to obtain power for his
factory at New Albany.
Didn’t Pay Expenses.
A searcher after hidden fortunes tells
this story. He found in Ohio a chap
w * 10 " as twenty years, and his
.
we ritu^d ^fter the maro te^d
t fanner'iu he stableman and he’d sold her to a
a place called Lincoln. Vt.
When he got there the man had sold her
x.-w York citv dealer for a iiroo.1
mim ,. H is Lame was Smith, and he
Uyed ^ Sew York iiortii of 100th street,
It- took about two months to ruu him
and when we did he’d sold the
mar e down in Jetsev. and there we
f d her> A sportin'fanner had her.
<£, e looked pretty b->d, but we'd spent
ovet $1,500 tracin her, and my pai tried
to bnv her
«d
tr 0 caughk Oh» m>4 We got in
ail «>P» rigfat^aiid I held^ tlw mare’s m^lh *
' j- vei .' v bn
{, filings had all "been broken
off T ^ bit probably, and the stones
»
aion t pay expen.es.
ALE BROKM-DOW
Ll ttJ ratoitttwKteoSffM
\Vur.
1
..„
‘relics of the pvw-fc/ Here comes
one of tliem ; just notice bis appear
aace.’"
The door opened, and into the store
walked a man with lus coat collar bot
toned up close to bis chin. Undcriieiith
the coat was a dirty-shirt necktie that he
displayed as he turned the opat collar
back. His, pants were frayed at the
bottom, and the suspicion of hole a dirty, in sock his
peepdd dowo-at-tke-heel out from boot a recent
“Ah, colonel, the “relic said, I
haven’t seen you since Gettysburg ; how
are you)'’
Then followed a desultory talk about
army matters. The visitor was surpris¬
ingly well up in ail the old stories of
camp life. He occupied about half, an
hour of the colonel s time, and then said,
as he rubbed his hands together : “My
dear colonel, I am just on my way to
St. Louis; I exiwctod a draft but here at
Chicago, and was disappointed, I am
certain I’ll get it when I arrive at my
destination.”
“That’s the way,” said the colonel,
after he had disposed of his caller.
“They come in day after day. Added
to their shiny clothes are a fund of army
stories and four,or five fingers of whisky.
Not long ago a man whom I knew in the
army as a surgeon came in. He told the
St. Louis story of coursa He was awful¬
ly hard up, and I finally got out of him
that ho had not eaten anything for two
days, and had walked the streets for
two nights. I took him to a hotel, and
the next morning he called again. This
time he said all he wanted was money
enough for a collar and necktie. He got
fifty cents. That was the last I saw of
the ex-surgeon, but picking ‘tip a paper
three days afterward I read of a suicide
picked up by the police in Lincoln Park.
Papers and documents found on him
proved him to be my old friend,
“Then there was the adjutant of a
regiment of the same corps miqe was
in. Nature had done everything for him
personally and be had as fine an educa¬
tion as Yale College could give him. As
a camp companion he was unsurpassed.
Well, the poor fellow turned up in
Chicago about 1870. He was a wreck,
but we straightened him up, got could him have a
position, and one in which he
risen. The man had enough ability to
be a bank cashier, but nothing could
keep him from liquor. He came into
my office one day, and I detected him
in the (heft of a small package which he
afterward acknowledged he was going
to pawn. What became of him ? Wash¬
ingtonian Home ; Comity Jail; Potters
Field.”
“One of the ‘old vets’ rather got ahead
of a bartender the other day though.
He - went into a saloon with a duster but¬
toned up to his chin, and, saying he did
not feel Very well, asked fox a drihk.
The barkeeper told him to get out. The
‘vet’ walked up to two or three young
bucks sho were qt the end of the bar,
and asked them for a quarter, telling
them w be was. He got it. Stepping
back to the barkeeper, he demanded a
good mixed drink, which he received,
and, after swallowing it, started to leave.
'“Hold on; you haven’t paid, ’ said
the barkeeper. whisky bills when I
‘ ‘I never pay owe
borrowed money, ” was the reply, and,
giving back the quarter to the young
man from whom he had gotten it, he
walked out,
“Poetic justice, I call it,” said the
colonel. ,,, V S *
WIT AND W ISDOM.
If tboi c be a crime
Of deeper dye than all tho. guilty train
Of human vices, ’tis ingratitude.
Each one sees what he carries in his
heart.
A dbcnken man is seldom injured by
a fall, and he probably isn’t by a spring
—if the water is good. ;
“No, dear,” said a Brooklyn school
teacher-to caterpillar an inquiring youthful mind,
“a little is not a kitten pillar.”
There is probably not one man out
of twenty who can haul a handful of
small coin out of hia trousers pocket
without fetching up a suspender button
on top.
Trt to be happy in this very present
moment: and put not off being that- so to a
time to come; as though time
Bhould be of another, make from this,
which is already come, and is ours.
When a rich imele dies and leaves all
his property toward paying off the na¬
tional debt one hardly knows which to
hate the more, his country or his dead
uncle .—Philadelphia Call.
“Did yon ever watch a little baby
waking in the morning?” Many times.
It generally occurs at 5 o’clock, and en
ables its father to get up a very hearty
appetite' for breakfast.
“Yes,” said Farmer Furrow, after
chasing a chicken clear around a ten
acre lot and clutching only a handful of
feathers, “the only sure thing in this
world is uncertainty.”
Smith ; “when do you receive ?” “Oh,
replied the newly wedded one, that de
I^enda upon our friends. We shall be
ready to receive as fast as the presents
are sent in.
.“How fab hit toMounmusk?” asked a
weary mau who was going there afoot,
“Seven miles, ’ was the reply. “Whom
do you wish to see there?” “Faith, it’s
meself I'd loike to see there,” was the
retort.
“Ah ! it was a gale !” said Mrs. Rams
botham; “it- shook our ^i house bv -the
uddfSonub? ’* * y
- What ig a Umited monart?hy , j obn .
“Well, my idea of a limited mow
art ‘riY is where the ruler don’t
to TO i‘ e ', ^ ive 311 e xamjde ?
i?<L£P>
ill kI 'VBUPJET. 1
i •! vu’uV rrNn^^^MPUfcioKorss
»• 41'EJA- xo,yin .j|Q ye.1t.
Rn\T, njr THE ALT.-WOOL SHIRT.
Qf blight auil flaming red—
"Ml wool, I'm ready lo assert.
Fleece dyed,” the'merchant said.
“Your size is thir6y-eigh% 1 think;
Aferty^-oi^fcliould git. bound shrink
Since all-wuoigvhds are to
A tljflc'whim they’re wet.”
That shut tiro weeks my fate tr wore—
Two waslifijgs, theft was all
. From forty down to thlrts fail.'" g foitf
,v It sliiank like leftf in
iHtore it then a clay or two,
But when ’twas washedfegain
Mv wy t saiil-Vnow 'twill only do
Jc'ur little brother Ben.”
A fortnight Ben squeezed into it—
At Ust he said it hurt.
We put it on our babe—the lit
Waft good %s.any shirt.
We.ne’er will wash it more while yet
"For , We see its flickering light. Wet
if again- that shirt is
’Twill vanish from our sight.
BooeNjs I-'ield.
NBAS ENOUGH.
A Michigan gill told her young him until man
that ska would never marry
he was worth $100,000. So he started
out with a brave heart to make it.
“How are you "getting on, George?”
she asked at the expiration of a couple
of months.
“Well,” George said hopefully, “I
have saved up $22.”
The girl dropped her eyelashes and
blushinglv remarked, “I reckon that’s
near enough, George.”
■” THE AGENT FOILED.
A man who was selling polish, or
something of the sort, entered the yard
of a colored family on Illinois street and
inquired of a boy who sat on the door*
step: is home ?”
“Bub, your mammy
“Yes.”
The agent raised his hand to knock on
the door, but it was opened and the wo¬
man stuck her head out and exclaimed:
“Go right away, sail—go right awayl
I heard you speakin’ to de boy, and
I wanf yon to distinctly understan’ dat
de agent who doan' inquar’ for de lady
of de house doan’ make no sale !”—
DetroTFFrke Press.
AN eficcse’s enthusiasm.
The following actual conversation,
which occurred two or three years ago,
will be appreciated in the light of recent
developments in our municipal govern¬
ment :
“ WelJ, ” saitj a friend to a newly elected
Boston Common-Councilman, “so'you
were successful in the late fight.”
“Yes, but I had a hard time to pull
through. Cost father a clean $200. I
don’t know much about the business,
but guess I’ll tumble soon enough.”
“Hopeyou will. YVbat’a the salary?”
Moses, “Salary tiie ? feed Ain’t !!”—Hosier no salary; but, oh,
Bulletin.
GEORGIA ELECTIONS.
der boae^I finder was observin', jjest.^tandin’_on when
corner, white He axed If I
cum a roan. me was
‘redished ?’ Tn course I was. He says,
‘Who am you voting for?’ Den he
went on to open np the questions He of de
day to me. ' I was his man. set
mu up, boss, and, I clnv ’fore gracious,
it wnu’t long 'fore anoder white man
axed me likewise consumin' the situa
shnn. He treated also. Tinks I to my¬
self, dis is better den they do in Mit¬
chell county. Boss, dey keep on till dis
country nigger gets so full he tiuks he
was a goat.”
He was discharged with a caution to
beware** of candidates, more especially
those for municipal honors.
TWO FATAL DEFECT.
Mrs. Jenkins—“Dear me, Matilda
Jane, it’s no use trying to be aristocratic
any longer. I’ve done everything mor¬
tal woman could since your par did sc
well in lumlier, but the obstacles is too
great. I give it up.” Matilda Jaue—
“Why, ma, I think we’re getting along
splendid, I’rfx Buie. We don’t eat with
our knives any mo*e, and we’ve got so
we dare speak to the butter at dinner.
The way youvmv ‘James, you may go’
sounds like a queen talking. What is
the trouble now?” Mrs. Jenkins—
“Well,’ I wasjeading only a little while
ago that file gout and a family feud were
necessary adjuncts to aristocracy, and 1
don’t see* auv orospects of securing
either.” ;
Tin) HOTEL CLERK.
“Pa, who is that pretty man?”
“My child, that is the hotel clerk.”
** “Do©e he know he’s pretty ?”
“What a question 1 Of course he
does.” - -
“Then people don’t have to tell him?’
“Decidedly not.”
“What makes him so ornaments.” pretty?”
“His graces and his
“What are his graces ?”
4‘Modesty and truthfulness. ”
"How modest is he 3”
“As a government mule.”
“Is he always truthful ?”
“Certes.”
“What are his ornaments .
'“Virtue and Chatham street dis
monds.” attraction ? ’
“Has he any other
“He has—frequently.”
“What is it?”
“Gall.” —Hotel Reporter.
GET HIM NEXT TIME.
A deaf old fellow, charged witn steal
in g a hog was arraigned before a court.
The jury, without leaymg the box, re
turned a verdict of guilty. lawyer, “the
"Old man,” said hie
jury says you are gouty.
"Hay . areguilty, „ shout
“The jury says you
mg m his ear.
“In what degree ?'
"There degrees . s.eating
are no Ut a
ca ^ ”l«n
*‘ThL I
we no degrees."
'
yemg at the tc.p of his voice,
“Weii, ttefs what I told you a* first,
but you said you eould dew me. Wish
now that I had got the judge to defend
Z, EX. *