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VOL II~NO. 45.
fiainilton Visitor
n w. I). BOULLY, Proprietor.
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copy three months (5
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ft Ali'' nhsrriptious must be paid in advance.
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liouslv renewed.
fifty numbers complete the year,
CASH ADVERTISING RATER.
"Trir-s 1 mr> S mos 6 mos 12 mos
O&rz r2M) $ 4 50 TToo $ 10 00
1 “hes . 450 725 11 00 18 00
1 ndttg 500 90015 00 22 00
Inc ef- 550 11 00 18 00 27 00
in.. 660 14 00 25 00 35 00
! mn 12 50 25 00 40 00 60 00
tjZ,:.' 22 00 41 00 62 00 100 00
' M'd deaths not exceeding six
n-'J will h: published free.
Payments to he made quarterly in advance,
according to schedule rates, unless otherwise
'°Pcrsons°eending advertisements, will state
th length of time they wish them published
an i the space they want them to occupy.
■Parties advertising by contract will he re
itrictod to their legitimate business.
Legal advertisements.
Sheriffs sales, per inch, four weeks. $3 50
" mortgage fi fa sales, per inch,
ei/ht weeks ■ • 6 *
Citation for letters of administration,
guardianship, etc., thirty days. ■ • ■ • • 3 00
Notice to debtors and creditors of an
estate, forty days “ lK>
Application for leave to sell land, four
Sat'S of iaridv vtc. per in li, forty days 5 00
“ *"• “ perish ah'3 property, per inch,
Application foi letters of dismission from
guardianship, forty days. ° w
Application for letters of dismission from _
administration, three months < w
Establishing lost papers, the full space
of three months, per inch •• • w
Compelling titles from executors or ad
ministnitors, wliere bonrt b* been
given by the deceased, the full space __
of three months, per inch <
Estray notices, thirty days ■ ■ • ■
Buie for foreclosure of mortgage, four
mouths, monthly, per inch ” YV
Rale of insolvent papers, thirty days. • ■ j* w
Homestead, two weeks '
Business coytSe
W. T. POOL, D. S.,
BaaiD Street, COLUMBUS, GA.,
Will vLit Hamilton and vicinity once a
Hoatli duriu't the -iuiomer. All calls i.rumpi
]y itfcnded to Plate work and tillinfS done
lu tl best and latest styles. (Satisfaction
or no charge. luayß thn
i a nuasKLt. c * mvm-kil
AUSSELL £ RUSSELL,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
COLUMBUS, GEORGIA
Will practice in all tlio (‘tale Courts.
TDr. rr. i_t- Jonlcms,
HAMILTON, GA.
TfclOS. S. MITCHELL, M. I).,
Resident I'liytitian and Surjeaß,
MA3IILTON, GEORGIA
Special attention given to Opera tive Pur
|ery and treatment of Chronic Diseases.
Terras Cash.
jjpVVVIU, TIQ-NEH,
dentist, ;
COLUMBUS, * * GEORGIA.
Office over Chapman’s dme stove. Ran
dolph st, near city terminus of N An. -“•
f Respecfuli y Offers his services to the peo
ple of Harris county. |U •
CHA TTAHOO CHEE 110 USE,
By J T.HIGGINBOTHEM.
WEST POINT, GA
HEN Y C. CAMERON,
Attorney at Law,
HAMILTON, GA
DR. I. W. CAMERON ,
HAMILTON, GA.
Special attention to Midwifery. Charge#
moderate.
Mines Dozioi*,
ATTORNEY-AT LAW
HAMILTON, GEORGIA
Will practice in the Chattahoochee Circuit,
or anywhere else. All kinds of collections
ifcsHTO —either way.
it X int no us e
COLUMBUS, GA.
J. W. RYAN, Prop’r.
RUBY RESTAURANT,
. Bar and Billiard Saloon,
UNDER THE RANKIN HOUSE,
janie J. W- RIAN, Prop's, i
P’
tiAMi£,TON ®SIS Visitor.
‘DOMESTIC’
FASHIONS.
All of the latest stylos in dress furnished
in patterns cut to any measure—price from
ten to thirty cents each. Send for Catalogue,
which is free to all.
‘DOMESTIC’
SEWING MACHINE.
The most perfect and reliable machine in
the world, and capable of doing work that
no other machine ran. Sena for prices and
directions how to choose.
‘DOMESTIC’
MAGAZINE.
A beautiful Family Journal, published
monthly at $1 50 a year—intended hi make
home happy. Send for specimen number
price 25 cents. Address
DOMESTIC S. M 00.,
ju!3 (iin 27 Marieita st, Atlanta, Ga.
TIFF. T- MOORE,
At Van Riper’s old Stand,
COLUMBUS, GEORGIA
jOffern his services as a
I s is. otosx* o, jp la-o x*
to aU wanting Pictures from card to life size.
Old Pictur* s can be copioil, enlarged and
colored in a satisfactory manner, in oil or
water.
experience ani unsurpassed facilities
enable me to offer us good inducements as
an*; Gallery in the State. All work guaran
teed to suit or no cunrge, at rates
h low aw any. ju)3-6m
J. & J. KAUFMAN,
■wholesdxe EKti-ra* im
GROCERIES,
Provisions, Liquor, Tobacco,
BAGGING AND TIER,
And *ll articles in the Grocery Link
*n<l its branches.
We odl a* low as any other House
in this city.
Km. 14 4 HI Bf#A St., COLI'MtS, fit.
Mr. JOHN W. nODO, of Harris conntv, i
with us, and will he pleased to see his friends
aud acquuiu lances, and take pleasure in s,Vy
ing them. J. & J. KAUFMAN.
MAGIC ERASIVE SOAP,
For removing Ditch, Paint, Tar,
Grease and Rosin ft om Clothes
and Carpets.
This soap wilt n’so cure nearly nil itincazf*
of the shin that flesh is heir to. *lt will cure
a bum or scald quicker than any other
known remedy. Use it for tetter, ringworm,
suit rheum, fevor sores, ulcers, rough skin,
tan and freckles, pimples or blotches on the
face, erysipelas or neuralgia; also for shaving
and shampooing. It is undoubtedly the finest
article for keeping the skin white and soft
that has ever been manufactured.
J also manufacture a superior article of
Laundry >Soap. which I sell at the unprece
dented low price of four and a half cents per
pound—warranted to give satisfaction.
Address M. McKEIGHAN, sole proprietor
and manufacturer, Atlanta, Ga. oct3o-3m
J. H. ERAMHALL,
WATCHMAKER, JEWELER, and
Singer Sawing Machine Ag’t
99 Broad St., Columbus, Ga.
HAMILTON, HARRIS CO., GA, FRIDAY, NOV. 20, 1874.
A FORTUNE FOR 81!
One Gift is guaranteed to one of every eleven
consecutive numbers,
$50,000 for ONE DOLLAR
KQW ZB YQTFE TIME.
Fortune helps those who help themselves.
500,000 Tickets , at $1 each , num
bered from 1 to 500,000, inclusive.
The exceedingly low price of tickets
brings it within the reach of all.
In aid of Public Improvements in the city of
Denison, Texas.
THE TEXAS
Gift Concert Association
■WILL GIVE A GRAND CONCERT
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 31,1874
And will distribute to the Ticket-holders
$250,000 IN GIFTS.
DEPOSITORY, FIRST NIT. BASK, BENIjjON.
Distribution to commence immediately after
the Concert. Managers of distribution chosen
by Ticket-holders and prominent citizens.
LIST OF GIFTS:
1 Grand Cash Gift $ 50,000
1 “ “ 25.000
1 15,000
1 10,0001
1 5,000
*1 2,600
1 1.500
10 SSOO each.. 5,000
20 250 .. .. 5.000
30 150 .. .. 4.500
50 100 .. .. 6,000
100 50 .. .. 5.000
100 25 .. .. 2.500
200 20 .. .. 4.000
500 10 .. .. 5,000
1,000 ■ 5 .. .. 6,000
1,500 .. .. 21 3.750
40,250 1“ ~ .. 46 250
49,767 Grand Cash Gifts am’nt’g to $200,000
22 prizes in real estate am’t’g to 50,000
49,789 Gifts, amounting to $250,000
REFERENCES.
Knowing that the management of this As
sociation will be conducted aw reprrsent-ed. we
cheerfully recommend the same to the public:
.T imes Leona and, John Holfurd, John B Mc-
Dongal!, W H Wiun, II r r-ne, J M Cook
Alderman city of Denison, Texas.
Judge Wm l) Kirk.
J Kevins, City Treasu'er.
B [loss, Done Star Mills.
We* kl v Times, Dcni^n.
K E Fu'L r, Alamo Hotel.
M Goldsf JI & 00, merchants.
Wm Hughes, real estate broker.
First National Bank, Deni-on.
Col Frank Schrader, ex-mayor.
Dai'y aud Weekly News, Denison.
Ranine! A Cook. Veal estate broker.
Col T H Warr-n, real estate broker.
Chap E Maurice, U S Commissioner.
Col Samuel Brooks, Galveston, Texas.
Job Perry, Attorney M. K & T railroad.
J W Jennings, ex-postmaster U S Senate.
Col L W Shepherd. Alamo Hotel. Denison
Gen G A Beui, US Army. Ft Griffith, Texas.
M rchants’ and Planters’ Bank. Denison,'lex.
S G Eddy. Division Supt. M, K & T railroad.
Col K J Strn", Q M USA, Denison, Texa.
Goode Stinnett & Cos, cotton brokers, Denison
EDCbadick, man. CottonCompreßßCo, Den’n
A statement of the distribution will be pub
lished and forwarded to tii ket-holders. and all
gifts promptly paid after the distribution.
GoBad RESPONSIBLE PERSONS WASTED
hi work for the interests of this Association.
Lises* l Commissions Allowed.
HOW TO REMIT TO US.
Money should be sent by Expre-sor Draft,
Port-office Money Order or Registered Letter.
Address all communications to
ALPHEUS R. COLLINS, Sec’y,
oct23-td Denison, Texas.
E- 3P- SCOTT & CO,
BANKERS,
3 Exchange Court, NewYork
Liitoeral Advances
MADE ON
COTTON.
TO THE TAX-PAYERS OF HARRIS
COUNTY!
Wishing to give all persons who are sub
ject to pay tax in this county a fair opportu
nity of doing so, I hereby announce the fol
lowing appointments:
Goodman’s, Septemlier 10, October 3 and 31
Cochrao’s, “ 17, “ 5 Nov 3
Hamilton, “ 18, “ 6 “ 2
Whitesville, “ 21, “ 19 “ 9
Davidson’s, " 22, “ 20 “ 10
Whitaker’s, “ 23, “ 21 “11
Upper 19th. " 2-4. “ 22 “12
Lower 19th, 11 25, “ 23 “ 13
Blue Spring. •• 20, " 24 “14
Valley Plains, “ 28, “ 20 “ 10
Milner’s, ” 2l>, “ 27 “17
Waverly Hall, “ 30, “ 28 “18
Kller-lie, October 1 *nd 29 and November 19
Catania. October 2 and 30. 'andCovember 20
I respectfully request the land owners to
make out a sere dale of their different farm
crops, with their names attached, and have
it ready for me at my appointments.
sep4 JOHN B. HASTEY, T. C.
Avoid quacks.
A gentleman who has suffered
from Nervous Debility, weakness,
etc., the result of imprudent habits
contracted in youth, an i who took medicine
for months without obtaining a cure, lias
s’nce cured himself permanently by very
simple sanitary rules, rd an outward appli
an,.„ worn with the utmost secrecy ; and s-i
satisfied is he that by the same means every
case can he cured, that he will send full par
•iculars fiee to all that are affected. Address
. Viuai Lamb, boa 3386, Nw Yorit.
ALMOST A GHOST STOIIT.
“ Did you ever see a ghost’ ” was
the appeal.
“ Well, I. came: deuced near it, I
can tell you,” said young Howard.
“llow near?’’ dried the company,
drawing their chairs to the fire.
“It was in that desolate, God-for
saken part of New Jersey,” said
Howard, “near P-v-negat, Shoals.
What with the nature of the soil
there, its barrenness and sterility, the
jagged, repelling grimness of the
rocks, and the wild, desolate infinity
of the waters, there’s something
about Barnogat that breeds an affini
ty with ghosts and spectres. There
bad been a wreak >f„ a '.eoasiing
schooner in tiie viein’ly, and although
the news didn’t make much of a sen
sation in the newspapers, it brought
despair and desolation to one heart
at least—that of the young mate’s
mother. He was an old school-mate
and warm friend of my own, and 1
volunteered to go down and Ree if,
the body could be found and brought'
home.
“ When I reached there the whole
aspect of the place struck me as for
bidingly wild and lonely; and when,
toward the close of a stormy day,
poor old Jack’s body was washed
ashore, stark and stiff, nrd distorted
almost beyond recognition, I wasn’t
able to lend the fellows down there a
helping band. I was seized with a
nervohs chill, and went in doors to
the brandy-flask. Propped up with
an artificial courage, 1 went out
again and found them hauling their
helpless burden towards a fisherman's
hut close by. They bad flung it in
an old tarpaulin blanket, and I
couldn’t help protesting inwardly
against, the rude Way in which they
bumped it along through the break
ers and over the rocks.
“I thought of that tender, wom
anly heart at home in the east, and
the gentle reverence that hedged
about even her every thought and
feeling about Jack, and f determined
there and then that he .should be ta
ken home to her ig some shape that
wouldn’t appall or horrify her.
“ They lunched at me when I
spoke of n cofiin, but nevertheless I
resolved npon get I ill" one, if such a
tiling could be had for love or money.
Not ihfti a coffin is absolutely requis
ite in'nil cases. Ii wouldn’t, have
mattered a pin io either Jack or my
self if, tied up in an old tarpaulin,
with a weight heavy as destiny it
self, we were forced to the bottom of
the sea. But to a woman, an old
church-ridden, conventional woman,
a victim to circumstance and custom,
a coffin was the only thing i hat could
vender the affair respectable, or in
deed bearable.
“I passed a sleepless night,, and
went off before daylight in search o'
an old man hat bore a queer reputa
tion about there for appropriating
any thing that came in shore, and
rendering it useful or ornafneninl
with a rude knack he had in the car
penter line. The boys told me there
was a little of everything in his old
rookerv, and they hadn’t the least
doubt, f conhl even find a coffin there,
or something that could be modeled
into one.
“Tl was a good h*ngitp to Us
dwelling, and I penHicd ilici’c wbb a
foreboding tliril my joiiniey u.is p>r
notliing; but njion iiroacbitig-ibosiilf
jeol to him, be slated bis road'nfsj at.
once lo oontp’y with my dorrand.
“‘But vvliai will you do lor maio
l 'ills? ” I asked.
“ ITo suil’ei' vrijn’y, arid opening a
door that led up to n soil of loft, bn
beckoned me to follow him. In'fluff,
loft i bore was wood readily adapted
to build a sli'p. a bouse, a tlieatn—
any ibiug and every thing ihut>nlubl
!>e desired. Not common wood,
Li ok you, but wreckers’ materiel.—
pi tie's of French walnut, exquisitely
car veil tv basvo'iei', biis of precious
ebony, of Reads’.wood, of box, and
some of that delicate tvb le pinetbai
e.vliales a delicious s jp riii ive. Tlie
boys bad said that, be was very#>•>;•
ia the cfirpente" Mne. i was iu
spl.cd wilbato , of lip 1 in bis < a
! nci.y, anti bis willi.ig.it s to under
take the j'.b tvns o.s’y ce rlcd by .us
dc e luinatioii .0 lie • >n:■ 1 well io-' do
iug it.
“‘Don’t, yon fret, young, men,’
said the oln skeleton. • T'i 1 iix i. fo ■
you in a sbajie that’ll s< : ii. I’ll have
it ns scrumptious as a nui —that is, e>
you’re able to liear the heft of the
expense. It’s costly, yev know, to
hev tilings pious and nice down this
wav; we can’t a'Ws afford it; tli.-n
the sea bein’ handy, it’s a temptation
to save time and money; but efthe
expense ain’t eonnte it:—’
“ ‘ Xevv mind th expense, part.,’
I exclaimed. ‘You do the thing up
nicely for me, and I’ll see yon through;
but it must be don- at once; the body
is almost beyond saving now, and I
want the coffin by to-morrow-night.
It must be ready to bo shipped be
fore daybreak the next morning.’
‘“All right,’ Raid tho old screw.
‘I don’t mind losin’ a little sleep to
be obligin,’ ef only the expense— ’
“ ‘You old vulture,’ I roared, I’ll
pay you half on the spot!’ Ami J
counted out to him enough green
backs to make his sharp old nose
come down and chop over his chin
with an unctuous smack of apprecia
tion.
‘“I’ll hov it that scrumptious,’said
the wretch, with greedv enthusiasm,
-that you'll clap your hands over it.
It'll bo that peart and pious that you
needn’t be ashamed of it in a church!*
“I nodded approvingly, and started
on the home stretch with the com
fortable feeling of a man who has
done all he could to ameliorate an
irremediable suffering. All that day
there was a threatening aspect of the
winds and waves that boded more
mischief on tV-it, malevolent shore.
Massive heavy clouds hung black as
ink over the sharp jagged rocks, and
a fierce under-tone in the elements
told of a conspiracy for a tempestu
ous debauch.
“My poor old Jack lnd been
washed and shaven, his last toilet ren
dered with nil die care that his old
friend, and school-fellow could be
stow upon a melancholy labor of love;
,a few hot tears burst from my burn
ing eyes, and fell upon that strange
and unfamiliar face; and finding it
become less and less recognizable as
T gazed npon it, I covered ii rever
ently with nay handkerchief, and sal.
silent and alone with it and the dark
ness, waiiing for the old man with
the coffin.
“As the day waned and Iwi'igV
gathered, a wail broke forth Irom the
rocks and waves; a tew belated gulls
flopped tlicir wings heavily over the
water (hat began to lash furiously the
low sandy shore. Presently a few
drops fell, the precursors of one of
tlioe furious storms that riot on that
desert const.
“An agony of impatience seized
me. I got upon my feet, and paced
lo arid fro the louse hoardsofthe lint.
“ Was I, then, condemned to stay
here, powerless 1o save niv poor
Jack from being (he puppet of yon
der malignant fends of (lie shore and
ihesea? T knew if the coffin were
delayed uniil the storm increased in
I ary. Ihe road to the old wrecker’s
home would be impassable, flooded,
aid without a dew.
“ Was it. then, destined that he
-■hon'd be thrown into the greedy
maw of the sea, after ail, and his
place in (be dear litlle oh well-yard at,
home know him no more? There
were prayers even then offered up for
him in that dear little village in the
vallev, not only by the thin and with
ered lips of his mother, hut sweet
and roseai ones were trembling in It's
behalf that late had clung to liis own
in rnpflive, and gentle young fingers
would gather flowers for his grave
and inminur benisons there lor many
a year. Oh, was it, then, inrw-sitde
to give this joy to my poor old Jack ?
“I stalled up with n melcd'ch in
u ion tbe florin a.id ils sn •roundings,
and witb an impulse of despciaiion
wrapjied niysell’ in au old tiirjirml'n
and ventured forth,
“I suppose mv nerves were pret.v
well unstrung, fertile dead face, ol
mv lost comrade followed me with a
grotesque and horrible pr- : sl e.ricy.
1 st vnegled against the feeling, but it
seemed to nio the murky air was
full oi sbiq.ielcsH floods and bodib .s
spirits of devilish tmipfnqni. !es.
“BlqinbVng along, the rain beat
ing merejlessly down, milking the
oe|;y path iieriloiLslv sinoe •, I made
vny way slowi/ ill the di l .•ctiori <>'■'
the old wrecker’s abode.
*■ Feeling ihe pa.li step by st > ; n
and sto**in, it l i*M
have tnkeii me many hones f o irn
li-.ii a mile, for 1 had scarcely gone
Itfdf-vvay when I found by my w.-.lcli
ii was nearly midnigb'. I’iie same
lurid gleam of lightning that allowed
me the i'-’cc oi iny watch gave me al
so a fleet glimpse of something lying
in the road before me, almost at my
feet.
“ I looked, and started back in hor
ror: a peculiar sensation came to my
scalp; I felt my hair, so to speak,
rising on cud; lor there, in a defile
of the road, half wedged in the shel
ter of a rock, was a coffin. Tho pe
culiar shape of it was only dimly dis
cornablc, and either exaggerated by
this dimness or else the coffin was of
•rtffstitie size. ITowdid it get, there?
Did the fiends about me contrive this
shape to deceive my half delirious
senses? I looked again, and slowly
I saw the ponderous lid rise, a skele
ton hand came forth; then an arm.
At his* half of the form emerged
front this terrible rest.ino-.plnce, and,
wrapped about with a winding-sheet,
seemed struggling to leave the coffin
altogether.
“T seized mv pistol with a trem
fii ng hamb T cocked it.
“ ‘ Don’t shoo* young man!’ onod
iho snoot re. ‘Yo’ll snilo the polish,
cf vor do. This cussed rain has e’on
o’most done for it already. It was
pious end noe'-t. a Knoll back, but it’s
pretty well spiled now, I’m af'ard.’
“It was mv oil wrecker, carpen
ter, and coffin-maker, TTo explained
to mo that be, had started on time
with the coffin, and kept ap till the
storm had come noon him, and was
forced to rest awhile under the over
hanging rock. TTc thought, very
nronerlv. that no hotter shelter could
he found than tho coffin itself; and
he was rh'ht. We might both have
crept inside,' and there would have
been room for more.
Wbv on earth did von make if
so big?’ T said. *T don't want my
poor Jack to lie around loose in this
way. '
“'Well, where’s tho odds?’ said
;he accomodating nr!inr>. * "You
didn’t scorn to spare the entente; so
T llmeght I’d leave nlenty of elbow
room. We can find snt.hin or other
for ballast, T reckon down below.’
“Poor Jack lies to this day in tho
singular coffin thus provided for him,
and over him the arbutus blooms, and
tender violet f, and all the dainty
flowers dear to a young girl’s fancy
i r an old woman’s love.’’
WoNnrr.miT, Ritsotj units op Texas.
—One of tins Texas delegation ofmez
ehauts recently sent to Si. Louis to
consult in regard to direct trade, re
marked at ihn St. T.ouis Exchange
;ha! no one is yet tlwoii lily ac
quainted with the vast, resources of
that Slate. Its wonderful grazing
canacily is indicated by the fact that
if exports 000,000 heed of eat lie per
annum. Tl, is declared noon good
aniboiity that even under ils present
meagre system of cultivation it can
produce, with any thin" like a fair
vic'd, one bab? o' cotton, t won’ v-iivo
bnshe’s of wbea , forty bushels of
corn, aud six! v bushels of oats tot be
acre. Texas idenied last, year i,)00,-
000 acres in cotton; Georgia i.°00,-
000 acres; Ab bfma T,900,000 acres,
and Mi -I si-mi i TOO,OOO acres; and
not w’; bs'anding I o fact that Teens
rkilled p half mil on less acres tbno
MiHM*Mnpi v ii, i-- n w estimated thai
she wi'l malic qh-j as much if not
more cotton than any n;LYr Slate.
Tt. him-: not be lingo;ton [bat they
have in Texas over ] J 0,000,000 ac os
of'and—a B;afo six times as "urge as
die Slate of Pemww’vcoin; and as its
development may bp said lo hr vc jn>l
cin-.i.Tieucod, ii, miy v.c'l be led to
imaginatioti to say what, her future
will be.
Soc- Theodore Parker married ii
Ap-.il 1f;3(5, Lvdia 1). C.'-A only
daughter of Jot’ii Cabot of Newton,
with whom bp bad plighted troth
live years previously. The following
eo!etions are entered in lus journal
on Ids wedding day:
I. Neve’, except for the boat of
••ani.es, to oppose my wife’s will,
9, To discharge all ser dees for her
sake freely.
3. Never to tcnld.
4. Never lo look cross id her.
5. Never to weary her with . m
lii arid-.
6. Promote her piety.
7. To bear her burdens.
8. To overlook her foibles.
9. To love, cherish, and ever de
fend her.
10. To remember her always most
affectionately in my prayers; thr.s,
God willing we shall be blessed.
In an article upon American watch
manufacturing, a contemporary states
that it represents a capital of nearly
five million dollars, and that the an
nual production of watches in this
country is about two hundred thous
and.
$2.00 A YEAR.
WIT iui.l HUMOR.
Drawing materials—corkscrews, j
Men of the time—chronometer ma
kers.
When is a girl not a girl ? Wi en
she is a baby.
When is a balloon not a balloon?
When it is aloft.
A health that is very rarely drank
—the public health.
Farmers gather what they sow.
but seamstresses sew what they gath
er.
A pickpocket never to
much in his business until he gets
his hand in.
A Wisconsin dairyman asks for in
formation about the “cremation”
business.
Why does grass resemble'a pen
knife? Because tho spring brings
out the blades.
There is one suit in which a man
nover feels satisfied, and that is a
law-suit.
A gentleman said, when a pretty
girl trod on his toes, that he had re
ceived a stamp of beauty.
The genius who is to 'invent a
practical substitute for work has not
yet been horn—and never will be.
Tho poor old father of a bootblack
sayß nothing gives him moro pleasure
than to seo tho son shine.
A Methodist minister being recentj
Iv asked if ho had moved to his new
appointment, said: “Yes, but it is a
disappointment.”
Bogianing of a Judge’s charge In
Iowa: “Gentlemen of the jury, you
must now quit eating peanuts and at
tend to this case.’’
A New York woman to shield her
husband, who was charged with re
moving the end of her rose, swore
that she bit it off hersolf.
Beware of contracting friendship
with surgeons. When you most
need their sorvicos they will probably
cut you.
“Dear,” said a good old lady who
was unable to keep up with her work,
“T shall bo glad when I get into eter
nity, no ns to have plenty of time for
everything.”
The difference he tv, een noted in on
and noted women is said to be that
them,' n always like lo see themselves
in piint, and that, the women prefer
to sen themselves in silks and velvets.
A revelers exclamation about bis
pus p jivt: “Ob ! that someone, asr
Col idi >n threatened to do with Rus
sia, world crnmnle up the passport,
literally, like a sheet of paper.”
A Indy teacher in a national school
was amazed by seeing ft perfect for
est of juvenile hands fly up in the air,
ami shako and gesticulate with vio
lence, “kYhat, do you want?’’ Cho
ms; “Tor hair’s failin’off?’
A pcddlnr calling on an. old lady
(o dispose of some- good*, inquired of
her if she could tell him of any road
on which no peddlar bad travelled,
“Yes,” replied she; “I know of one
and that’s tbo road to heaven.”
The Chicago’ reporters are tender
ofthe feelings of the unfortunates;
ii 1 so )l>e daily papers of that city
veeanlly announced that “two ladies
and three gentlemen left for the pen
i entlary last evening under official
escort.’’ ,
“Put me in the same room,” say*
an old philosopher, “with n number
of young girls, and I will tell you,
when the postman knocks—merely
bv watching the looks of some and
the actions of Ihe others—how many
of them arc in love.”
A ynnng gentleman remarked to
bis female companion the othi ; even
ing, “Ah! the most beautiful ever
ing in my recollection. Luna looks
peculiarly beautiful.” “Was that
herjnst went by?’’ quickly asked
the vonng lady.
“She sunk up and buuV down
twice!’’ exclaimed a little six-year
old while explaining to her mother
how her playmate fell into a pond.
The man who by mistake took a
drink from a bottle of muscilage, aaye
he has felt ‘iettick np” ever since.
A scapegrace remarked that the
principal branch of cdneatioia in his
school, was a willow bratich.jj
Man is mister, but a Woman is a
mystery'.
The latest fashion in Chicago—one
term marriages.
The markets—Ladies hair has an
upward tendency.