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THE CARROLL FREE PRESS, CARROLLTON, GA.
The Time It Was,
Jones—I say, Smith, you are a
good hand at arithmetic.
Smith—1 am considered very
good. Why ?
Jones—Well, here is a little prob
lem for you. There was a man
named Little, living in Dublin, who
lhad a daughter. Now, she was in
love with a chap she knew her pater
did not approve of. So one day she
eloped with him. When the old
man found it out he was very
angry and at once followed them.
Now, then, what time was it?
Smith (angrily)—What time was
it? How on earth do you suppose
I can tell you? I give it up!
Jones (triumphantly) — Why, a
Little after two, of course.—Lon
don Answers.
Cheerful.
"John, dear,” said the invalid’s
wife, “I’ll have to run away from
you for an hour or so today. I have
to get the material for a new dress
that the dressmaker”—
“But,” complained the patient,
“do you think it is right to be think
ing of dress while 1 am so ill ?”
“Why, John, it will be all right,
no matter what happens. It’s &
'black dress.”—Pearson’s Weekly.
A Bad Spell.
Won dey last autum eye set
fourth to Borne oar the planes and
threw the veils. The Skye was fare
and blew and the lo son through his
pail raise ore the seen. Dear, yews
and hairs were gambling on won
sighed, while on my write rows long
strait rose of maze, fore feat hie or
aew and as fresh as reins and dues
could make them.
“Owe,” said eye, razing one of
the suite colonels to my knows,
'■“surely this plant has know pier
among the serials I Sea the rich
hew of its waiving lief—its flour
liko a lock of silken hare—its gold
en cede, in rose of colonels, which,
|maid into flower and then into doe
i or bred, charm hour pallets. It
'feeds knot man alone, but the foul
of the heir all sew.”—London Mail.
Managing a Drawer.
A woman will take the smallest
drawer in a dressing table for her
own private use and will pack away
in it bright bits of bones t*£ all
shades and sizes, dainty fragments
of ribbons, scraps jf lace, foamy
ruffles, velvet things for the neck,
bundles of old love letters, pieces
of jewelry, handkerchiefs, fans,
things that no man know* the
name of, all sorts of fresh, bright
looking knickknacks that you could
not catalogue in a column, and she
can go to that drawer any hour of
the day or night and pick out any
article she may happen to want
without disturbing anything else.
And a man, having the biggest
and deepest and widest drawer as
signed him, will throw into it three
socks, a collar bos, an old necktie,
two handkerchiefs, a pipe and a
pair of braces, and to save his life
1 he can’t shut that drawer without
leaving more ends sticking out than
there are things in it, and it always
looks as though it had been packed
with a hydraulic press.—Exchange.
Th« Result of an Accident.
Talleyrand was the greatest di
plomatist of his day. His father
was a military olficer, and the boy
would no doubt have been educated
to the same profession but for an
accident which befell him in child
hood. After the fashion of the
time, he was intrusted to the care
of a woman some miles away from
home. While in her charge his
foot was dislocated by a fall. It
was not properly cared for, and his
parents did not become aware of
the fact until it was too late to cor
rect the error. The abnormal
strain brought upon the other foot
soon induced a lameness in that
also, and the boy thus became a '
cripple for life. This seeming mis
fortune determined a change in the \
plans of his parents for him, and
as a result the name of Talleyrand
has become one of the most fa
miliar among the great ones of
modern history.
A Cool Customer.
A woman shoplifter was caught
stealing an umbrella one day in r,
Philadelphia dry goods store. But
it was decided not to prosecute her
if she would pay for thn umbrella,
valued at $2.50, which sho did. The
next day she returned and requested
to see the manager. When that sur
prised person could recover himself
sufficiently to ask her business the
woman calmly told him that she had
been pricing umbrellas in otheT
stores and found she could purchase
one like her own for $2, and she
wanted to know if he wouldn’t re
fund her 50 cents. As a tribute to
her monumental nerve the 50 cents
was handed her in silence.
Difficulty Eaiy to Overcome.
“But are you abie to support •
wife ?” asked the old gentleman.
“Well,” replied the youth, “you
know it is said that two can live al
most as cheaply as one in such cir
cumstances.”
“Ye-es; I’ve heard that stated,”
admitted the old gentleman doubt
fully.
“So it occurred to me,” went on
the youth cheerfully, “that you
would not begrudge the slight extra
cost that will he entailed as a re-
iult of this addition to your family.”
—Chicago Post.
Fate of the Toy Dogs.
In connection with valuable toy
dogs the Windsor Magazine has a
story about the late Li Hung
Chang. When the Chihese states
man was visiting Loudon a leading
light of the Stock Exchange made
up his mind to send a valuable
present to him.. After careful con
sideration he decided he could not
do better than send him two of the
most valuable toy dogs to be had.
They were selected with great care
and sent to Li Hung Chang, from
whom a letter of thanks was re
ceived a few days later. “Your gift
is much appreciated,” wrote the
celebrated Chinese envoy, “but un
fortunately my age and health com
pel me to adopt a very rigid diet.
Under these circumstances 1 di
rected that the dogs be prepared for
some members of my staff, wh'.
buve enioved them verv much.”
Sam Jones Said
“The Hit dog hollers’*
So look out for the whine of the jealous,
who feel their inability to do what they claim
they can do.
The numerous patients that have gone to
these growlers and paid their good dollars to
them without receiving one cent’s worth of
relief of their eye troubles, and then letting
me have their case, receiving perfect satisfac
tion, proves to me that the people know and
appreciate my work.
According to their testimony, also, my
charges for my work is usually less than one-
half than their exorbitant charges
If you are skeptical, come to my office,
I will give yon the names of the above men
tioned patients I will also gladly show any
one just what I can do for their case No
charge for Consultation
Broken lenses duplicated,frames supplied
and repaired at reasonable prices
DR. J. D. HAMRICK,
OPTICIAN
S-W. Corner Square Carrollton, Ga
PUMPED THEM DRY.
Ito’s Instructive Half Hour With Two
American Marines.
The Marquis Ito was always
eager to acquire information about
western civilization. During his
four terms as prime minister of
Japan his country residence at Oiso,
near Tokyo, was at all times open
to the foreigner, and his ready com
mand of six languages gave him
many opportunities of pumping his
“barbarian” visitors.
Two American marines on shore
leave several years ago w’ere doing
Tokyo, and the course of a walking
trip took them into the suburbs.
Stopping to rest under a tree, they
lighted their pipes and were survey
ing the passing coolies and rick
shaws with lazy interest when an
open carriage, with outriders and
other evidences of Japanese opu
lence, came along the road. Seeing
r jolly looking, bewhiskered Japa
nese sitting alone in the vehicle,
they saluted in military fashion and
smiled back at him. Suddenly the
carriage stopped, and the occupant
beckoned tl>e marines to approach.
“If you’re traveling my way there
is room in my carriage for three,”
said the bewhiskered Japanese in
English.
The Americans shook the ashes
from their pipes, stiffened into dig
nity and marched into the seat of
fered them with all the aplomb of
experienced globe trotters. Then
followed a catechizing such as they
never underwent before. In the
language of one of them:
“The old guy asked us all we
knew about civilization down to who
killed Billy Patterson, and he pump
ed us as dry as a battleship three
months in drydock. He was a wise
nut all right and a good judge of a
cigar. He was especially interested
in the service, and his questions
upon the treatment of men and
chances for promotion in the Unit
ed States marine corps showed
knowledge of foreign military and
naval affairs.”
“Now,” he remarked as the car
riage turned into a private drive
way, “this is where I live, and as I
have an engagement on hand I will
have to part company. You can
have my carriage for the ride to
Tokyo. I’ve had an instructive half
hour with you, and I appreciate your
forbearance in submitting to so long
a cross examination. Goodbv, and
good luck to you both.”
With these words the Japanese
handed two cards to the marines,
shook hands, got out of the vehicle
and disappeared behind a party of
bowing servitors, while the carriage
started for Tokyo.
“But he was a big gun, all right,
all right,” observed one of the ma
rines reflectively, leaning back
among the cushions and taking the
card out.
And he was. In English script
upon the card were two lines of
print, which read: “Marquis Iliro-
bumi Ito, G. C. B., Prime Minister
of Japan.”
A Wonderful "Coo.”
Some of the tenants of a Scotch
nobleman noted for his temperance
principles were being entertained
one day at dinner. There were plen
ty of aerated water and milk for
them, but nothing stronger. One
of the farmers, who knew by expe
rience what to expect, had provided
himself with a flask of rum and, un
known to a brother farmer, poured
« generous quantity into the glass
of milk which his neighbor had
elected to drink. In due time the
unsuspecting farmer put the glass
to his lips and seemed to enjoy it so
that he never stopped till he fin
ished it. Then he turned to his
friend and remarked, “Heck, man
Tammas, what a coo!” — London
’Answers.
Why Paperhanger*.
Wall paper does not hang, and yet
the person whose business it is to
paste it up is called a paperhanger.
The reason is simple. Long before
the introduction of wall papers Ar
ras, a town in France, was famous
for its tapestries, called “Arras.”
These were used as wall coverings,
and the men who were employed to
put them up were called “hangers.”
When paper succeeded tapestries as
a mural decoration the name “hang
ers” stuck to the men, though in
stead of being tapestry hangers they
were now paperhangers.
The Climate of China.
The summers in north China are j
dry and hot. Then come a short
period of torrential rains and then
a long, dry fall and winter. Frost
will come about the middle of Octo
ber, and the last of November the
river will freeze up, to stay closed
until the middle of February,
though often until a month later.
There is almost no snow during the
entire winter—two or three little
flurries, but never enough to cover
the ground. The cold is compara
tively steady.
Up=to=the=Minute Styles
Are what we go after, and we get
them, too.
And when we have them, and when
we’ve marked on them onr lowest price
and when we have the maker's guar*
antee, and when YOU have OURS, we
are able to offer you as much as any
jeweler ever offered anybody.
Will you call some day and let us
show you how easy it is for us to please
you. And we especially request that
you give us an opportunity to prove to
you how unnecessary it is for you to
buy elsewhere.
'Creel $ewelri( Co.
Breaking the Ice.
Beautiful Ella came into
room and drew her low seat so close
up to her father’s big armchair that
he looked up from his newspaper to
see what was the matter.
“Mr. Wilkins likes you, father,”
»he said as soon as she saw that she
had his attention.
“Well, I have been under the im
pression for some time that he liked
some one here,” remarked the old
gentleman, “but I've never seen any
indications that I was the one.”
“Well, you will the very next time
you see Mr. Wilkins,” said the beau
tiful girl, with conviction.
“What’s he going to do?” de
manded pa.
“He’s going to ask you if you will
consent to be his father-in-law,”
explained the beautiful girl.
A Grease Spot Suit.
A man whose wife found much
fault with him—probably with jus
tice—on account of his untidiness,
went to a tailor to order a suit of
clothes.
“What kind of goods do you
want ?” asked the tailor.
“All wool and exactly of this
color,” replied the customer, pre
senting a sample.
“It is hard to tell just what color
this-is,” rejoined the other, inspect
ing it. “Where did you get it?”
“I cut it from my last suit.”
“It doesn’t seem to have any fig
ure.”
“No. This is where some grease
got on it. I cut out the entire spot.
I want something a grease spot
won’t show on. See ?”
After a lengthy explanation the
tailor succeeded in convincing him
that there was no cloth of that kind
in the market.—London Mail.
Farms for Sale this Week
330 acres of the best fanning land in Carroll
county, known as the Buck Eye Farm, formerly
owned by Mr. Bass, deceased. This farm at a
bargain to the man who comes now. -
150 acres well improved farm land four miles
east of Carrollton. 114 acres in cultivation, three
houses. If you will see me I will tell you the rest.
Houses aud lots for all buyers.
See me this week or you may be too late.
J. 0. NEWELL
Francis Murphy
Greatest Fortune Teller.
Tells of Past, Present and Future.
Will be at C W Wood’s residence on Longview St.
Mouday, Aug. 29, 1910
A Grand Memory.
A highland girl who had been in
service in Dundee and had gone to
a place farther south called upon
her old mistress on her way north
to visit her friends.
She was invited to take dinner
with the family, and her master
asked a blessing on the meal as
usual, when the girl said:
“My maister, ye maun ba’e a
gran’ memory. That’s the grace
ye said when I was here sax jean
ajne.”—London Telegraph.
Valu* of Laughing.
An eminent surgeon says: "En
courage your child to be merry and
to laugh aloud. A good, hearty
laugh expands the chest and makes
the blood bound merrily along.
Commend me to a good laugh—not
to a little, sniggering laugh, but to
one that will sound right through
the house. It will not only do your
child good, but will be a benefit to
all who hear and be an important
means of driving the blues away
from a dwelling. Merriment is very
catching and spreads in a remarka
ble manner, few being able to resist
the contagion. A hearty laugh is
delightful harmony. Indeed, it is
the best of all music.”
stopped I11 2U mlnmee,
sure with Dr. Shoop’s
Croup Remedy. One
tost will surely prove-
No vomiting, no dis*
» safe and Dlo‘tsiayijv»*iii>--;iUi*. Dru^gUr.^
CROUP
WHERE OCEAN BP.EEZES BLOW.
mi
11 EM
VIA
ML C? (jEOROIhl
RAILWAY
fiUICK AND GCNVlrtlE'-IT SCHEDULES.
SPLENDID SERVICE UilOII PLACES IN
GEORGIA AND ALABAMA.
ASK YO'JR NEAREST TICKET AGENT FOR TOTAL RATES,
SCHEDULES, ETC,