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WIT ASI> HUJVTOK. «w
Maggie, to lier stepfather. who is
very popular with the children “I
wish you had been here when our oth
er papa was alive. You would have
liked each other so much." Lift.
A little boy, a resident of our village,
when passing our prominent undertak
er was rather reticent in answering his
queries; but when his mother asked
him if he did not know the gentleman
he answered: “Yes, that is the man
who takes dead people to Heaven.
Pittsburg Sentinel.
Things one would rather have left
unsaid: Miss Constance I’m so glad
you think I’ve improved in my playing
of that nocturne of yours, Herr Bemol
tki; I hope to be perfect in it next time
we meet Herr if. (gallantly) Ach!
Miss Gonschdance, I hope ve shall meet
before zat.' Bunch.
At the Police Court: “Accused, you
are blind?” “Yes, your honor.” “How
did you become blind?” “By a lit of
apoplexy.” “Why, then, this picture
on your breast representing an explo
sion in a mine, in which vou lost your
sight?” “Please, your Honor, because
to represent apoplexy painting is pow
erless.” Le Francau.
A scientist has discovered proof of
the existence of the rhinoceros on the
Western Continent “thousands of years
before Barnum appeared." This will
surprise many persons not that the
pachydermatous animal was discovered
on the Western Continent thousands of
years ago, but that Harnum was not
Jiving at the time. Norristown Herald.
Brown “I was surprised to see you
at church yesterday. Smith; I under
stood that you don’t believe much in
religious matters." Smith “Well er
- I have been something of an inlidel
all my life, but that cold that 1 caught
last week has settled on my lungs, and
1 feel a little nervous about it."
Urook.li/n Eagle.
A 12-year old boy entered a news
stand, threw down lb cents, and said:
“Gimme ‘The One-Eyed Demon of the
Ditches,’ ‘Crimson-llanded Bill, ortho
King of the Highwaymen,’ and ‘Sal
Klumpkins, the (jiieon of the Shoplift
ers, of the Half-Dime Series." And
yet au English review once snoeringly
asked, “Who reads an American
book?”- Norristown Hrrtild.
“Don’t know what to do,” remarked
a millionaire to his doctor. “1 want
to go into the country and live quietly
and without ostentation." "Why
don't you do it? Your health demands
a rest of that sort." “Yes,l know it,”
replied the patient, "but my money
gives me away. What shall I do?"
“In that case," answered the physi
cian, “why don’t you give your money
away?" N. Y. Graphic.
A gentleman went into a crowded
store to buy some stockings for his
wife. “1 want striped ones,” he said
to tho clerk. “We huve very few
stripes, sir,” tho clerk replied; “they
are not much worn now." "Are you
sure?" “Oh. yes. quite sure. 1 will
demonstrate the fact to you." Then
he leaned over the counter and shout
ed: "Bats!" “See?” he asked. “Yes;
givo me plain colors." Drake's Maga
tine.
The secret of Col. Joseph Pulitzer’s
hostility to Minister Phelps is open at
last, it appenrs that Phelps had bar
gained to pay his yearly subscription to
the New York iVorltl in Vermont ma
ple syrup, and that when Pulitzer ex
amined the jugs he found they contaiu
ed only an inferior article of New Or
leans molasses. In view of these facts
wo submit that Co). Pulitzer might heat
his wrath up several degrees higher
without overstepping the bounds of
reason. Philadelphia 'limes.
It is probable that this fair land will
uever be perfectly happy and truly
prosperous until the management of all
the railroads is turned over to tho com
mercial travelers long enough at least
(or the boys to adopt a universal mile
age ticket and an extra baggage check.
Sood forever on all roads both ways, at
te companies’expense. The commer
cial traveler domin't want much this
year, and tho little pittance that ho
does waut he ought to have, llrooklyn
Nagle.
Is there no way of putting a stop to
this dynatnito business? Now troubles
ariso every day. but the people don’t
seem to heed the warnings they re
ceive. Tho latest explosion is one that
may happen iu any household whero
there are a crawling baby,an impatient
mother, and au experimenting father.
It occurred in this way: The father
dropped a little dynamite on tho car
pet, the baby slid over it, tho mother
spanked the baby. Father, mother,
and baby all gone. Such lessons
should give wholesome instruction, but
they don’t seem to do so. New York
Tribune.
“The development at the back of tho
head, my friends, indicates filial affec
tion." explained tho phrenologist.
“Now you will observe,” he wont on,
feeling tho head of the boy on the plat
form, “that this bump is abnormal in
size, thus indicating that this lad loves
and reveres his parents to an unusual
degree. Is it not so, my lad?" "Naw.”
“What? You do not love your par
ents?” "I think well enough of mith
er," replied the boy, "but l ain’t very
fond of farther. That bump you’re a
feelin’ of he give me last night wid a
cricket-stump." Public (Opinion.
The New York Urajihic says: "Tho
work of establishing an art museum in
Detroit is attended with peculiar diili
culties. chief among which is the lack
of persons competent to discern the
dirterence between a chromo and an
oil painting.” This is a base and un
worthy libel. The people of Detroit
know that a chromo can be had with a
few pounds of tea.whereas an oil paint
ing costs a good deal of money- Be
sides. you can tell a chromo by the
manufacturer’s name at the bottom,
while a little close examination shows
the brush marks on a painting. —De
troit Free Press.
The F.mperor of Germany, while re
cently sittiug to a sculptor for a bust,
became dissatisfied with the position of
one of his deooratiou a star -on the
clay model. He thereujKin erased it,
and with his own hands remodeled it
an inch or two higher. Though it was
the old Kmperor’s first effort at sculp
ture it was. of course, a very great suc
cess. and the artist, obtaining permis
sion to leave it exactly as it had been
executed, sold thousands of clu-ap
plaster replicas of the model. This
•tory should suggest to all sculptors
the advisability of becoming Kmperors
as tending to subsequent rapid popu
larity.
“1 would be willing to make atlidavit
that at least 100 persons come in my
store every day and ask for advertising
cards," said a Woodward avenue gro
cer, “and the confounded things are
getting to l>e an unmitigated nuisance.
J'ho custom of giving away picture
novelties with purchases has increased
to such an extent that customers have
arrived at the conclusion that they
should get a Michael Angelo or a Ru
bens with a bar of soap or a pound of
crackers. They never seem to think
that grocers have to make up the cost
some way, aud if they happen to dis
cover a few grains of sand iu the sugar
or a chance bean in the coffee they buy
we hear a bowl about adulteration of
food.” Detroit Free Press.
When the late Chief-Justice Chase
chose to i;nbend himself he could be
witty as well as wise. At a social gath
ering at his house during the War, the
subject of taxation having been moot
ed, a distinguished naval officer pres
ent said he liad paid all his taxes ex
cept the income tax. “I have a little
property,” said he, “which brings mo
in a yearly rental, but the tax-gather
ers have not spotted it. ido not know
whether I ought to let the thing go that
way or not. What would you do if you
were in my place, Mr. Chase?” There
was a merry twinkle in the eyes of
Secretary < ’base as he answered arch
ly: “I think it tho duty of every man
to live unspotted as long as he can."—
Philadelphia Jttcord.
A Lonely Death.
It was here in Detroit at one of the
city hospitals that 1 saw the saddest
funeral ceremony I ever witnessed.
It was that of a woman who had lit
erally died by inches. Poverty, sor
row, and sick ness had been her constant
companions for years, and when at
last on a hospital bed she drew her last
breath it seemed ax if there could be
nothing left to feel the pang of dissolu
tion nothing but skin and bone.
She had been well eared for in her
last sickness by those who gave their
time and service to the work of chari
ty, hut it is doubtful if sho knew it.
Her mind lived in tho past, and she
murmured iu delirium of ahappy home,
and seemed to be always caressing a
little child. Now she would talk to it
in a sweet mother-tongue, using the
fond, endearing langnago of love to
call it to her again: she seemed todread
some terrible fate for it. and besought
God to save it, even to take it away
from the evil to come. Always it was
the child that was present with her, so
that pain was naught the child that
she continually addressed as “Darling
Ktnma,” and she died with that name
on her lips.
This was all there was of tho dead
woman’s history. Tho pall of a dark
past had fallen upon her. It was only
known that tho child about whom she
had raved and prayed was still alive,
anil somewhere in the city. But so
far all search hail failed to find her.
The brief funeral ceremonies at the
expense of the city, for her’s was a pau
per burial were held iu the largo par
lor of the hospital. A young clergy
man who had just entered upon his
work, the assistants of the hospital, the
undertaker, hat in hand, and one or
two strangers, were all who were pres
ent. The dead woman lay in a highly
varnished pine coffin, from which tho
metal shells were already falling in a
shower of tawdry splendor, so imper
fectly wore they fastened on. Her face
was composed and peaceful. Life and
death had ilouo their worst tho battle
was now over.
In the chill and tho silence the yoico
of the young minister, cultured and
tuneful, sounded like a strain of music.
All heads bowed as he recited:
I «m Hit' resurrection anil the life.
There was a scream a wail of heart
rending grief and the service was in
terrupted. as a woman, young and hag
gard. rushed into tho room and threw
herself on the coffin: she was dressed
gaily in silk attire. A long feather
dangled from a gaudy hat everything
about her bespoke death sadder than
the eoffin.
“Mother mother," she moaned,
“why did you you not let me know?
Oh, I would have come to you and
worked my fingers to tho bone to save
you! Oh, mother, mother! come book
to me just to sav that you forgive me.
Mother, it is your own little Emmy!
Do you hear mo? It is Emmy! Oh,
my God! lam too late! She will nev
er .speak to me again!”
Pitying friends drew the frenzied
woman away. In a moment she had
dashed them aside, and leaning again
over the dead mother she pressed her
lips once twice thrice to the cold
lips of the dead. Then she clasped her
hands and lifted her eyes to heaven,
while her lips seemed to be recording a
vow. The Wintry sun shone out at that
moment from the western sky, and
touched with golden linger the sad,
sad scene of death in life, and life in
death, and the minister resumed the
service where he had been interrupted.
1 am tlie resurrection and the life.
Detroit Free lYess.
The Paris Charivari has a very clever
picture of the divorce problem in au
alleged toy for children. On an ordi
nary stand art' figures of a man aud
woman standing at either end and fac
ing each other. I'hey are joined by a
baud which so connects them that they
can not be separated except by cutting
it apart. Oh this baud are strung sev
eral children, who. if the band is cut,
will slip off the loose ends and fall
down. The problem is to cut the
bands without jeopardizing the position
of the children. It points to a moral
very graphically, and one worth con
sidering by the community in connec
tion with our frequent and’ easy divorce,
—New York Mail.
The Medicxnische U’ochernchrifl makes
tho bold statement that the Knglish
scientists are so far behind those of
other nations in their study of the cau
ses of infectious diseases that they are
no longer in a position to make any
thing bke a pertinent criticise upon
such researches. The cause Is attribu
ted to tho English laws practically pro
hibiting experiments on animals.
Samuel h'lxttc'H Offer of a Dinli of
Chocolate.
Macklin wax a teacher of his art,and,
with a slight sprinkling of regulars, his
company was made up of amateurs and
pupils. Among the latter was a young
fellow about town, well known at the
Bedford Coffee House for his wit,named
Samuel Foote, who here made his tir-t
appearance upon any stage as Othello
o his tutor’s lago. The future famous
comedian was snort and stout, with a
round, full, flat face, and his appear
ance iu tragedy must have been as fun
ny as a modern matinee debut. Nev
ertheless, he obtained an engagement
at Drury Lane for comedy parts. Here
he made such a success as a mimic in
the character of Bayes, in “The Re
hearsal,” that, finding himself over
shadowed by the genius of Garrick, ho
determined to turn manager on his own
account. Failing to procure a license,
lie took a leaf out of Mr. Cibber’s book,
ami on April 22, 1747, announced that
a concert of music would on that day
be performed at the theatre in the Hay
market, after which would be given
gratis a new entertainment called
“The Diversions of the Morning,.” and
a farce taken from “The Old Bachelor,”
called the “Credulous Husband" —
Fondlewife.Mr. Foote—and an epilogue
by the B d d (Bedford) Coffee House.
The diversion and the epilogue consist
ed in mimicry of the best-known men
of the day actors, doctors, lawyers,
statesmen. Had he contented himself
with this he might not have been inter
fered with; but the managers of the
patent houses could not tolerate such
an infringement of their rights as a
performance of one of the most popular
comedies of the time. They appealed
to the Westminster magistrates, and on
the second night the constables entered
the theatre aud dispersed the audience.
But Foote was not so easily to le- put
down. The very next morning he pub
lished the following announcement in
the General Advertiser: “On Saturday
afternoon, exactly at 12 o’clock, at tho
new theatre in the Haymarket, Mr.
Foote begs the favor of his friends to
come and drink a dish of chocolato
with him, and ’tis hoped there will be
a great deal of company and some joy
ous spirits. He will endeavor to make
the morning as diverting as possible.
Tickets to be had for this entertain
ment at George’s Coffee House, Templo
Bar, without which no one will be ad
mitted. N. B.—Sir Dilbury Diddle will
be there, and Lady Betty Frisk has ab
solutely promised.” No one knew
what this advertisement meant, and a
crowded house was the inevitable con
sequence. When tho curtain rose,
Foote came forward and informed the
audience that “as he was training some
young performers for the stage, he
would, with their permission, while tho
chocolate was getting ready, proceed
with his instructions before them.”
Then some young people, engaged for
the purpose, were brought upon tho
stage, anil under the pretense of in
structing them in the art of acting ho
introduced his imitations. The author
ities did not again interfere with him,
so he altered the time of his entertain
ment from morning to evening, and tho
title to “Tea;” and to drink a dish of
tea with Mr. Foote, as going to his
theatre came to be styled, was the rage
of tho season. Next year he called liis
rerformance "An Auction ol
lore is one of his advertisements: “At
the forty-ninth day’s sale at liis auction
room in tho Haymarket, Mr. Foote will
exhibit a choice collection of pictures—
some entirely new lots, consisting of a
poet, a beau, a Frenchman, a miser, a
Taylor, a sot, two young gentlemen,
and a ghost.two of which are originals,
the rest copies from the best masters.”
In this he mimicked the peculiarities of
Justice Deveil, Cock, the auctioneer,
and Orator Henley. -Belgravia.
Senator Garland’s Speech.
Augustus H. Garland was born in
Tennessee in IS.S2. His looks are not
strikingly impressive, liis frame tall,
well built, compact, surmounted with a
well-rounded head; bushy black hair;
face eleau shaven; his mouth firm set.
but pleasant, solemn one moment and
twitching the next with some nascent
drollery; brown eyes, small, frank and
piercing; kindly withal, but changing
rapidly from earnest to quizzical; in
movement, easy and self-possessed; in
debate, clear, cool, fair, driving directly
bv strong logic to the end in view, lhe
senate does not contain a more uni
versal student or a more restless wag.
A guilty conscience keeps him always
on the lookout for some terrible retalia
tion. and it is a red-letter day in the
senate when this biter is bit.
On one occasion, w hen an important
measure was before the senate, Mr.
Garland delivered a careful and ex
haustive speech, to which close atten
tion was given. About ten minutes af
ter he bad finished, and, metaphorical
ly speaking, “his brow bound with
victorious wreaths,' Don t ameron
went over to the Arkansas Senator s
side of the chamber and said:
"Garland, when arc you going to
speak on this question? I want to hear
vou.”
"Good Lord!" remarked the surprised
senator; “why 1 just got through. )\ here
were you?"
About five minutes later Mr. \\ hyte,
of Maryland, who had not been in the
senate during the speech, had the job
put up on him. and asked the same
question in good faith.
"Why. 1 just finished. W hyte. con
sult the ifecortl iu the morning."
Another five minutes passed, and
then Butler, of South Carolina. another
sleepless wag, went meekly up to Gar
land and asked him when lie was going
to speak to the bill. Considering the
source of this last inquiry, the remark
was in the nature of au eye-opener,
and Mr. Garland tartly replied:
“If you have any more of 'em. But
ler. bring them on iu a body; it saves
time. II ashing! >» post.
Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Burnett, aged
Germans, after a long struggle with
poverty, became inmates of the poor
nouso at Menzelcs, Tex. The olu
woman took it to heart and said sho
wanted to die, but did not like to leavt
her husband. Apparently she induced
him to go with her, for one morning the
poor old pair were found in their bed
room hanging dead, side by side, sus
pended bv clothes-lines from'the rafters
above. Fvervthing indicated the nios*
careful and deliberate preparations for
death.
EARTH-MEN FROM AFRICA.
4 Strange People Who Have R*c« ntly
Lauded at New York.
Sitting in a waiting-room of the Cen
tral railroad ferry-house a few days
ago was as uncouth a collection of hu
man beings as falls to the lot of New
Yorkers to witness. Wrapped in coarse
striped blankets, their heads covered
with cloth caps two sizes too large for
them, the small, peaked faces peered
out of their coverings with a monkey
like gaze at the crowd of inquisitive
Americans who gathered around.
They were African earth-men or pyg
mies, recently brought here from the
region of the Congo. Until lately the
existence of these people has been
questioned by scientific writers, but
recent discoveries have proved the
truth of the well-known assertion of
Herodotus regarding the mysterious
tribe of dwarfs who burrowed in the
earth far back toward the center of tho
dark continent. Uu Chaillu was the
first modern traveler who investigated
the matter and saw them in their own
land, and described them as being
small in stature, but larger than one is
led to expect from the description of
Herodotus, being something over three
and a half feet tall, but still they are
diminutive specimens of humanity.
Their figures are slim and delicate, but
very well formed.
The woman especially is capable of
posing for an artist as a bronze Venus.
They are all well clad, the women
wearing coats and pants of coarse but
warm material, and they frequently
emitted a dry, hacking cough that
showed the effect which our climate
and that of England, whence they
came last, is having upon them. Their
faces denote but little intellect, yet
they are possessed of much intelligence,
and the children are surprisingly
bright. The baby, sitting under a can
opy of cap, was a study in himself.
His big, black eyes twinkled and
snapped as he peered this way and that
at tho crowd, and he looked the bright
est and best of the lot. His father, the
king—they are all kings that come
here- sat enwrapped in his royal
blanket, with a lonic bow in his hand,
and ho appeared to notice nothing that
went on around him. He wore attach
ed to his hair in front, three small
shells tilled with somo kind of cement
or dirt to hold them on. 1 liese are
royal trade-marks, none but ne being
allowed to decorate bangs in that man
ner, and he looked every inch a king
of that sort. On their checks they ali
had a ragged scar this is also a royal
mark, and is made by scratching with
an arrow and rubbing in coloring mat
ter—a rude sort of tattooing. In ad
dition to these marks each one had the
joint of his right hand little finger tak
en oil'. This is a general triLJ mark.
They all showed their lingers and ali
were alike in this disfigurement. Their
skin is not black, but a sort of coppery
brown, something like our indiuus, but
a shade or two darker and richer in
tone. They have but little hair and
that is curled like pigtails.
The most curious thing about them
is their language. It is a series of in
describable clucks, made by turning
the tongue backward against the roof
of the mouth and snapping it forward
.—not the sound one makes when start
ing a horse, but just as inarticulate
ami seemingly unintelligible to a hu
man being. They clicked ami clucked
among themselves, and the gentleman
in charge clipped in ami tired his
tongue at them, and then the reporter
tried it, and clucked them, “Here’s my
regards.”
It seemed incredible that men could
converse among themselves with such
an elementary form of speech, it not
being elevated above the twittering of a
spanow. One certainly could easiei
translate the barks and whines of his
dog into English. They seem to be
satisfied with it, and that is certainly
enough.
They have quite a collection of Af
rican arms and curiosities in their pos
session—short and long bows, with
sinew or hide strings; spears and ar
rows of reed, poisoned with the juices
of plants, and capable of making havoc
in the ranks of an enctuv. It is, in
fact, in this manner only, that they
cau be formidable, as an ordinary white
man could easily manage three of
them. They decorate themselves in
the manner usual among savages, with
shells, beads, and feathers, the latter
being quite ornamental and artistic.
They have a collection of ostrich feath
ers. heads and horns of gazelles, gems
boks and elands, tiger and leopard
skins, and lions’ claws —all trophies
if their skill in the chase and showing
what a superiority even pygmies have
over the brute creation. —At 'w York
World.
••riot Vhas All.”
“I pelief I vhas shwindled vonce
more,’' he said to the Sergeant at the
Central Station yesterday as lie was
asked to take a chair and report his er
rand.
“How?”
“Vhell, 1 vlias in my blace apoudt
two hours ago vhen two strangers vhalk
in, and one of ’em says to me:
“Shake, 1 has a bet on you. I know
you vhas a great man to has confidence
in human nature, und I bet S 2, oafen
oup. dot von vhill lend me feety cent.”
“Vhell, 1 dunno. I nefersee him pe
fore, but if somepody bet $2 on me I
doan' like him to lose it. und maype he
also divide vhat he wins.”
“And vou let him have it?”
“Vhell, 1 has some confidence in hu
man nature. He vhalks oft’ mit my
feety cent, und mv vliife says I vhas
derpigg-st fool in Detroit.” ,
“And what do you want of me?”
“I like.to know if you pelief like my
vliife?"
“Yes, sir. I do! You’ll never see
your money again.”
“My 'on Carl says I potter soak my
headt. 1 like to know if vou think dot
vhav?”
"1 do.”-
“Und my brudder-law says I make a
tine lunatic asylum all by myself. Vhas
he correct?”
“He is."
"Vhell, dot vhas all. If I vlias
right I get madt und clean oudt der
shanty. If 1 vhas wrong Igo home
und keep still until my headt vhas
soaked enough to lose my confidence
in human nature. Dot vhas all—good
day."—Detroit Ertt Press.
Sponges.
One of tiie -jights of the Florida reef
i- the sponger. He is generally a
conch from Conchtown, Key West, and
devotes his entire time to the business
of fishing up the repulsive objects call
ed sponges. This is done chiefly with
hooks or spears, the boat drifting along
until a sponge is sighted, when it is
hooked or speared, and jerked from its
stronghold upon the bottom. When
the water is too deep for the hooking
process, the sponger goes overboard
and dives to the sponge, by main force
tearing it from the bottom. The
sponges taken from this section are not
the delicate toilet sponges, being a dif
ferent grade, and only used for coarse
work. They grow to a large size.somo
measuring three feet across and two
high, and when active present anything
but an attractive appearance. A good
healthy sponge looks as it comes to the
surface like a great beef’s liver, and the
odor is spongy—no other word describes
it. When a load of these aromatic
flowers of the ocean is secured, they
are taken down to Key West, or may
be cured on some of the keys. This
consists of allowing them to remain in
the sun until thoroughly decayed, and
then treating them to repeated rinsings,
until the animal matter is entirely re
moved. They are then placed in the
sun to bleach, anil in this stare are
seen covering the fences in Concutown.
Later they are subjected to several
processes, one of which in some cases
is sanding. This is more common in
the toilet sponge from the Mediterra
nean. Shake one and you will find
that quite a depositof fine sand escapes.
This was not eaten or absorbed by the
sponge when alive, as you might sup
pose, but is a process by which the
weight of the sponge is increased, and,
as they sell by the pound, the object is
evident.
The tricks that the guileless sponge
dealer is not up to are not worth chron
icling. Some time ago a young man
was sent to a sponge locality to buy
sponges for a firm who was going to
manufacture a new article that requir
ed large quantities, and it was found
that the young man paid as much for
water and coral rock as he did for
sponge.
Better sponges are found in the Ba
hamas than on tho Florida reef, and*
the business, though in the hands of a
few, is a valuable one. The majority
of people have rather peculiar ideas re
garding the sponge. Some think it an
insect, others a plant. It is, however,
a simple animal, composed of many
cells, that are arranged in three layers,
the middle one secreting the lime or
silex, as the case may be, that goes to
form the skeleton of the animal.—Flor
ida Cor. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Artemus Waial anil Tom Pepper.
Tom Pepper, who is known as “tho
peerless prevaricator of Nevada,” led a
Bohemian life here years ago. One
day, hearing of Artemus Ward’s arrival
at the International Hotel, in breathless
haste he rushed away to interview the
great humorist. He ran at once to
Ward’s room and, knocking, was in
stantly admitted.
“Artemus Ward, I believe!”
Artemus signified that the guess was
a good one.
“I am delighted to meet you,” cried
Tom “delighted to meet you, sir.”
“And I have the pleasure of seeing?
—” and the smiling Ward looked a
whole line of interrogation points.
“I am—l am —that is my name is”—
gasped Toni—“my name is. Well, just
wait a moment till I think,” and Tom
ran out of the room and closed the
door behind him, leaving Artemus
standing in the middle of the floor.
After a few moments in the hall Tom
rushed back toward the astonished
Ward with extended hand and glowing
face, crying: “Pepper, Pepper, sir!
I’m Mr. Pepper—Tom Pepper—better
known as Lying Tom Pepper.”
Kingston—Ward’s agent —was out at
the moment. Thinking he had an in
sane man to deal with. Artemus
smiled the most cheerful smile then at
his command. He declared he had
often heard of Mr. Pepper, and was de
lighted to meet him. At the moment
he was about to change his sock: would
Mr. Pepper be kind enough to with
draw and call round again in half an
hour. Mr. Pepper would, and did.
When Mr. Kingston came in Arto
mus had a fearful story to tell about
his adventure with a crazy man.
Afterward, when Ward came to know
that a sense of his greatness as a
humorist had so overcome poor Tom as
to cause him to forget his own name,
the genial lecturer declared it was the
greatest compliment that had ever been
paid him.— Virginal (xVen.) Enterprise.
“Do you know who are the heaviest
realeetate owners in the city?” “Who
are they?” “The brewers.” “How do
you know?” “The records show it.
They're the most independent too. A
few days ago a certain gentleman went
to John Hauck and proposed to sell him
a piece of property. He said: ‘Put a
fair price on the property and I’ll buy
it. I’ve more money than I know what
to do with.’ Tell me any other class of
men that could talk the same way.”—
Cincinnati Enquirer.
for 3 3 cts-
To any one who will Introdece ear goods,
end will influence sties among their friends,
We will send samples which will bring them
$5. Send 33i-ts for postage Ac.
MjttoEß SlaNcracTOtiKO Co.,
33 A 35 Liberty Street, N. X,
For Handsomest! Cheapest! Beal
IRON ROOFING.
SIDING, CEILING,
fiend for Dlnstrated Catalogue and Price* *f
CINCINNATI (O) CORBCOATINQ COS
STXX-A.-WX-SI OX VJSXT AWAT,
To any lady who will agree to show t* her friend,
dnd trr to influence sales; we will send free by mail
one elegant medium ilse plaid shawl oa receipt ol
U rents P. O. sumps to per posugs and packins
expenses. Mxscee MsicvvACrceiae Co., a end
$5 liberty St., New York.
Write at once and Mention this Greet Paper.
SBI Handsome Tislting cards with yon*
5 f name eeatly prtated 10 cents.
J M I Beautiful Chroao car da, with name
M W ■* 16 cent*.
Mr ■ fi:egant rial ting cards, gilt or fancy
f S a I edge, with name, 90 cent*.
\J 'rrsnd Hidden Same cards, with
name, SO cents.
Any el the those tent poet-paid on receipt ol
“*' Mu PUebos Oa. See* Polah Oh
OH! MY BACK
Every strain or mid attack!, that week beck
and nearly prostrates yon.
IWlffil ij j
P® ® BEST TONIC *
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the Nerve#*
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Db J. L Mycrs Fairfield, lowa. savs:
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specially beneficial in nervous or physical exhaustion,
and in ali debilitating ailments that bear so heavilj
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says. “I was completely broken down in health and
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Genuine has abovs Trade Mark and crossed redlinsf
on wrapper Take no other. Made only by
BHUU N CHEMICAL CO., BALTIMORE, MIA-
Tls Globe Colton ail Cora Flatter
—AND
Fertilizer Distributor.
Highest award at International Cotton Eaki*
bilou, Atl nta, tia., the Arkansas State P air thv
Ntioual Cotton Planters’ association, the Great
Beuthern Exposition, 1/Ouisvi‘le, Ky., and the
World’s Exposition, New Orleans, I.a , and which
has NEVER failed in any contest, has been still
further improved, and is now fully adapted to sny
character of soil and the most unskilled labor, tws
styles and sices bei- g now made.
It is the most durable Planter made, and will
Save its Cost Three Times Over
IN A
SINGLE SEASON.
As it plants from eight to ten acres per day.
with less than one and one-half bushels of
seed per acre, and opens, drops, distributes ter
tiliiers and covers at one operation, saving
TWO HANDS AND ONE TEAM.
The price has been reduced to jnit the times.
Send for circular giving full description and
terms.
Globe Planter M ’fg C 0.,
226 Marietta Street, Atlanta. Ga.
STEEL PENS.
PATRONIZE HOME INDUSTRY.
We are now offering to the public STEEL
PENS of our own manufacture. Our
Plowboy Eagle
Is the best business pen in the market, 75 cents
per gross, postpaid to any address on receipt of
price. And for fine writing our
Plowboy Favorite
Surpasses any pen yet made, SI.OO per gross
postpaid, on receipt of price. Samples on ap
plication.
THE PLOWBOY CO,
East Point, Ga.
THE PLOWBOY COT
18 PREPARED TO DO
NEWSPAPER
WORK
Os Every Description In
THE BEST POSSIBLE MANNER,
And at tha Shortest Notice. We Famish
READY PRINT
INSIDES OB OUTSIDES
For Newspapers,
or TH«
Hijjeit Orter ol Eicetae.
NEWSPAPER HEADS
Hade to Order
From the Latest Style of Type.
Publisher* who desire to furnish their
subscribers with the greatest amount ol
reading matter at the least cont, will d*
well to communicate with us at once.
We will pent the inside or outaide, Ol
the entire paper, if desired.
Samples of Ready Prints sent on ap
plication, and prices quoted that am
surprisingly low and defy competition.
All we ask is an opportunity to servs
our fellow publishers, confident that we
ean give satisfaction.
THE PLOWBOY CO.
East Poimk Gw