Newspaper Page Text
WIT AND HUMOR.
“Why does a dog chase his tail?”
Rika an idle paragrapher. Because it
fleas from hlnj, of course. Burlington
Free Press.
“So you think John is becoming a 1
great man in the city?” said a farmer,
speaking of hi# absent son to a com
panion of the youth. “Groat man! I
should say to. Why, tic re ain't a bar
keeper in the city hardly that lie don’t
call by his first name.”
When Mrs. Homespun rend in the ,
paper that Slappandash had "fail*- ! for
$200,000” stie said he was a lucky f*
low. Sho thought the innocent cn-a
turo —Hint he got that mu< in >nc.
failing? What ridicuioii ideas the
women do have about biisinc-s!
When Mrs. I’inaphorc read that
“FooChow had fallen,” she aid that ;
this might be good news to 11 1 <* •<■ v > |
liked the stud, but sho wouldn't bnc
the mixture if it were to fall to thr
cents a quart. It is suppo >1 the ee j
woman was thinking of chow c ow.
Said Jones: “We’re goin g to run j
Blifkins forjudge this filin’
Smith: “Blifkins! What does he him . ;
about law ?’’ “Nothin.' at all. He
never saw a law book. That’s t-'
reason wo arc going to run him. M
think that if ho is ignorant of law we
may got u little justice.”
Blunkin and his wifo had been in
dulging in a family discordant: • and
finally Mrs. U. exclaimed: “Well, I y
got my opinion of any man that lain
as you do.” “Oh, have yon! Well,
you can keep it if you want to. ’ “N >,
J can’t, either, it’s so awfully bad al
ready that it won’t keep.”
“What,” asks iv very tender writer,
“what can take the place of babies?
Sli! Bond your ear a little closer and
we’ll toll you. Other babies. Von
didn’t suppose this year’s crop would
last forever, did you? Goodin- s, man,
it will bo clear out of style in eighteen
months. Brooklyn Engle.
'J'ho neatest fraud in Saratoga is said
to boa girl who is apt at making such
very disiugonious remarks ns this.
“Deary me, Sophy, you have just the
same perfume in your rent bottle tba:
your brother liolph puls on his mu
tache.” Ami tlion she wonders vvi i;-
oyed what they are laughing at.
For tlio sake of truth men should be
more careful how they talk. It was
but yesterday that wc heard a gentle
man say of a pretty girl who had just
passed: “She is a eweet girl,” when
on investigation wo found that h - had
novor oven kissed her. Such talk i, an
outrago on truth. A’- ntueky Hint Jin -
ml.
A negro fell from it four-story build
ing in Charleston on the pin/./, i shod
Dolow, and, rolling oil, fell on the
ground in the yard, lie was insensi
bio for a short time, but quickly.recov
ered, and, oil being asked if iie wa.
sorlously hurt, lie answered: “Oh, it".”
Ho had fallen on Ills head, and no bone
voro broken.
It is said that the sanitary condition
of'loulon is so bad that it catchnil
tho infootlous diseases going. I > to
the hour of going to press, however, it
had not caught the base-hull fever, and
tho Kuroponu papers, therefore, are .
•ittlo previous in demanding that tli
town be torn down and rebuilt. - A..
rislown Herald..
Masked hugging parties are populat
at church fairs in Missouri. By pa>
ing 16 cents a man is allowed to hu a
girl, but ho is first blindfolded. It
•cakes a man awful mad to lied, on : ■
moving the bandage from hi •
that he lias boon Ini g up liis - .tv
Fifteen cents gone for uothi. > m-
Lt villc Journal.
About two hundred different guide
books to summer resorts have lieen re
ceived in thi- oflleo. They are very
Jirulty, but lack something. IVo have
been trying to think wl.at it was fora
mouth bnoK, and it has just occurred
to us that tho only tiling to make them
n tiling of beauty and joy forevor is a
pass accompanying each.— Brv lyn
Times.
f irst cotton planter -“tv ell, urcen,
1 hear you done knocked down a man
on tho steamboat t’other day.” Sec
ond planter “Yes; one of them cotton
cotton spectators came up and asked
mo to give him an example of my cot
ton. ItlilTuscd, whereupon he consult
ed mo; thou 1 picked up one of them
windlass chairs and knocked him pros
perous.” Harper's /la:ar.
A teacher asked a bright little girl
tho other day what country was oppo
site to us on the globe. “1 don’t know
sir,” was the reply. “Well, now,
pursued tho teacher, “if l were to bon
a hole through tho earth and you were .
to go in at this end. where would von
come out?” “Out of tho hole, sir,’
said the pupil in triumph. AY to For'
World.
“How wet the poor dear boy’s halt
ilt,” exclaimed tin loving mother, as -
she placed her hand tenderly upon he
child’s head. “Flaying out in tin
hot sun makes the perspiration start
from every pore.” And little William
Henrv turned a,sido as he thought to
himself that he would go in swimming
again just as often as he could while 1
the hot weather tasted. —Lowell Citi
ten.
Scone at tho San Jose train: Gen
tleman in seat. Enter ladv. Gentle
man rises, gives his seat to Indy, leaves
his valise under the seat, goes into the
smoking car. Next station. Youn<*
lady looking out at window. Man
rushes along, looking for his valise. !
Young lady hands it out. Next sta
tion. Gentleman comes from smoking
car, bonds down under scat, apologize:
to lady for troubling her to rise. Young
lady cots up. No valise. Tableau.—
Ban Francisco Chronicle,
The tallest bird known to othnolo- I
gists was found by Professor Herbert
in the lower eocene deposits ne.v
l’aris, France. It was over twelve fee'
in height and could have bitten a man's
head off as easily as a woodpecker cau
nip a cherry. We cannot bo too thank
ful that this bird has gone out of fash
ion and existence. Ladies would liavi '
wanted to wear it on their hats, ml
men who sat behind such bonnet orna
ments in the theatres would be unable
to see whether a ballot or a prayer
meeting was in progress on tho stage.
— Harris!cam Herald.
One of our English cousins was re
cently placed at dinner by the side of
a charming woman who bad been re
ted. by the hostess to amuse the 1
•T ranger. * They were gelling on very
well, when he drew attention toaguesi
opposite by saying: “O, I say, do look
at that spotted man: did you ever aeo
such an object?” And the lady said
with much dignity, to stop his prattle
if possible: “Yes; that is my hus
band.” And the wretch said: “Oh, j
how jolly, you know, becauso you can
tell me—is he really spotted ail over? ’
The happy lot of the strcebcar driver
is thus described by an ironical driver
in New York: The horses have to walk,
you know, but the driver just leans up
against tho dashboard and rides. If
you’re fond of ridin’ it’s a soft job.
Fourteen shillin’ a day is a big sum of
money to pay out for seventeen hours’
work, but the company is rich and can
stand it It costs a driver very little
to live, becauso ho doesn't havo time to
eat anything. I used to keep most of
my money in tlio bank, but so many
of ’em are bustin’ up that I drawed it
all out, and now I’ve got it up to tho
house packed away in barrels.
Sho was a remarkably sensible young
lady who made the request of her
friends that after her decease sho
should not be buried by tho side of n
brook where babbling lovors would
wake her from her dreams; nor in any
grand cemetery, where sight-seers,
conning over epitaphs, might distract
her, but be laid away to take her last
sleep tinder tho counter of some mer
chant who did not advertise in tlio
newspapers. Tnere, she said, was t*
bo found peace surpassing all tindci
standing—a depth of quiet slumber, on
which nuither the sound of tho buoyant ;
foot of youth nor tho weary shudlo oi j
old age would ever intrude. —Albany
( Ua.) News.
A Four Year Old Hoy Who Smokes
Twenty Cigars a Day.
While making his rounds recently
your correspondent was much amused
to sec a littlo boy, apparently about
four years of age, who was puffing
away at a huge black cigar with all tho
nonchalance of the most habitual user
of tin: weed. On being informed by
several neighbors standing near, that
the boy had been a conlirmod smoker
since Hie age of fourteen months, tho
reporter determined to investigate tlio
case.
The little boy’s name is PetoySpang
onberger, a son of John Spangenberg
er, the well-known saloonist at N7 East
Main street. When asked about it, tlio
father seemed proud of his sou’s ac
complishment, and gave the reporter
tho following account of tlio com
mencement of the habit: “When tho
littlo boy was an infant in the arms,
fourteen months of age, a cigar was
given to him onoo in fun by one of tho
customers in tiie saloon. Instead of
growing deal lily sick and dropping it,
tho little follow clutched it with his
baby lingers, and seemed to enjoy it,
smoking it to the very end. From tlio
first cigar his taste for smoking com
meneed, and from that day the child
cried for cigars as an ordinary child
cries tor candy. The taste seemed to
take such a terrific hold on his baby ap
petite that ho was soon smoking, nil
the time, one cigar after another, until
lie reached the appalling number of
twenty per day. Nothing else would
pacify him, and ho would cry bitterly
when not allowed bis tw ntv cigars per
day. Though the parents could see no
evil effects from tho use of tho weed,
the', grew alarmed :tint called a physic
ian who tn.v!, i minute examination
of the little fellow, and finding no evil
r< i. .. from tlio use of tobacco, told tlio
cuts that tlio habit would do tho
child no harm.
Reassured by this statement tho pa
rents allowed free rein to their child’s j
appetite, and ho has been an habitual i
sniokor from that day to this. Pipes, |
cigars, cigarettes, everything of a j
tiraokablo nature that fell in his way, )
were eagerly devoured. Ho com- j
menced to chew, also, but this second
habit was promptly prohibited,
Tlio little boy is now in kilt suits and ;
is 4 years old. His habit attracts un- j
bounded amusement nnd admiration j
from tho patrons of ids father’s saloon, j
nnd many are tlio cigars which fall to j
his share from customers who desire to !
see him smoke. For the last few i
months ho lias averaged only from ten
to twelve cigars a day, and smokes ;
slower and seems to enjoy it more.
Tho little boy was shown to tlio re
porter, who was surprised to find a
fat, chunky little fellow, with a pro
nounced German appearance, nnd tho
fat hanging in ropes from his littlo
cheeks, lie seemed of a lively, jolly
disposition, and betrays not tho least
traces of nervousness. Tho parents at- |
tribute his fatness to the smoking, as
ho avoids all fat food in eating, nnd nev
er drinks wine or beer, lie will only
smoko one particular brand of cigars—
a very black, strong variety—and it is
extremely amusing to see him toddlo
down in the morning lieforo breakfast
and demand a cigar from his papa. ;
This obtained, he will light it with tho
most profound gravity, and puff away
with tho air of a man of fifty. The on
ly peculiarity about him 5s his odd
ways, his every action reminding one
of the most dignified adult, liis broth
ers and sisters show not tho least dis- !
position toward tobacco. His parents .
arc both wholesome and hearty Ger
mans. l*r. McLaughlin, who exam
ined tho boy recently assured your cor
respondent that all his functions aro in
a normal condition, and liis nervous
system fails to exhibit the slightest
trace of the tobacco or nicotine influ
ence. 11«' considers that tho habit has
become so natural that tho efleets of
the poison is lost on tho boy’s system.
The parents believe that the tobacco
has saved their sou’s life, nnd an
nounce their intontiou to contiuue tho
child's gratification of his appetito. —
Springfield, 0., Commercial Gazette.
The Boonu (Iowa) c-'.M . Jard , printed
at the home of Kate Shelley, tho he ,-
ine who saved a railroad train from
destruction, and who was present.a
with n medal by the lowa Legislature,
savs of her ambition: “Next to tlio
love of mother and children tho or.o
great hunger of Kate’s existence is s
substantial education. For this she is
willing to sacrifice those tilings which
most young girls esteem—gay clothes,
society and that spirit of ‘go’ which so
fills the blood from 15 to 20. Sho lias
made a brave start in her books, and
clambered with tireless footsteps ovetv
the first rude stones which hedge abotrf
the base of the temple of knowledge. A i
“G ran cl mother."
“Is she dead yet?”
1 should grieve to hear that she was
I am referring to the good-natured,
over-ready, old-fashioned grandmothc'
of days gone by. She was my grarid
•nother and yours, and, indeed, every
body eise’s, when one was needed. 1
remember her ns gray-haired, wrinkle
faced, and hands crippled with tlio
hard work of pioneer days. I remem
ber her sympathetic voice and soft
touch her steel-bowed *-'■(■<•:acles —her
quaint old snuff-box r i-:tling look
a d anxious-tones : e came in the
nek way and caiic I ott :
“And so that boy's had to give up
and go to bed, eh? Dear me! but it’s
too bad, though I guess it’s nothing
serious, and I hope you won’t worry.
Let’s see him. All—urn! Stomach out
->f order and lie’s got some fever. Had
my children taken this way dozens of
.inv s and in two days they were out
playing.”
It was worth a month’s sickness to
m.o her bustle around after horse
•idisli leaves to mako drafts for tlio
feet; cloths to wet in cold water for the
head—mustard for tlio back of the
nee :—a bit of rhubarb to sweeten the
stomach, and to hear her say:
“Well, now, wlio’d thought it; but
don’t worry! Mercy on me! but my
1 n’l lias been sicker’n that fifty differ
ent times and i-n't dead yet. Just
you go right down nnd finish your
baking and leave me to take cure of
him. 1 just dote on sick folks!”
And didn’t tilings turn out just as
site predicted? And three days after
didn’t siio come down into tho back lot
where I was eating sour crab-apples
and iling up her hands and exclaim:
“For tho land’s sake! but does this
boy mean to kill himself afore the
summer is out!”
If mother had a pain in her side she
ran over to see grandma. If father
went lamo it was grandmother who
had a remedy. Not in our family
alone, but in a dozen. Not in ono
case, but in a hundred.
Who had catnip and smart-weed
and may-weed and oak bark and spice
bush and mustard? Grandmother, of
course. Who knew wliat was good for
earache, toothache, jaundice, languor,
loss of appetite, rheumatism, bilious
ness and a hundred other ills? Grand
mother.
And if her remedies failed to arrest
disease and the doctor was sent for
iiow kindly courteous lie was! Every
thing she had done was professionally
justified, and lie seemed almost sorry
that sho hadn’t worked a euro and de
prived him of his fee. He would take
tho ease and warrant a cure, but, of
course, must depend upon her to a
great extent. Such a compliment was
worth more than a now home to her.
And if death came grandmother was
there to weep with the family and to
console all otiiers. It was her poor
old fingers which closed the eyes—
which helped to mako the shroud—
which arranged the lifeless hands. It
was her voico which kept whispering:
“There! tliero! poor thing—don’t tako
it so much to heart! lie is far hotter
off than we are, nnd you must live on
for those left behind.” She was with
.he mourners—at the grave—back to
the house to cheer tho heart-broken
and leave them at night with a feeling
that it was for tlio best.
Ami it was a holiday when grand
mother came over with her knitting or
sowing for an afternoon visit. She had
the rocking-chair and the cosiest cor
ner, and no queen was more respocted.
She remembered tlio war with Mexico,
and tlio fall of stars, and two or three
earthquakes. Sho recollected what
overybody had dreamed, and how it
came out, and who married who and
how they prospered. Sho had seen
two or three Presidents; been to New
York and Niagara Falls. She was a
medical college, an encyclopedia and a
book of adventures combined, and her
going away at night left a vacancy
that she alone could fill.
Is sho still living? If so, may tho
world reverence her. Is she dead? If
so, may tho sunshino of Heaven have
made tier tho happiest angel of them
jill!
Filling anil Graduating Thermome
ters.
“When a thermometer is to bo
made,” savs a manufacturer, “the
glass-blower first blows a bulb on the
end of a long tube. While this bulb is
hot tho end of tho tube is inserted in
mercury, and as the bulb cools the
mercury rises and fills the bulb. This
process is repeated until the bulb and
part of the tube are filled. The bulb is
then immersed in snow and chipped
ice and the mercury settles to the freez
ing point, which is marked on tho tubo
as 32 degrees, if a Fahrenheit scale is
to he followed. Next tho bulb is put
in boiling water and the point to which
the mercury rises is marked on tlio
scalo as 212 degrees. Ten degrees of
the mercury are now detached from
tho column by jarring and tlio whole
length of the tube is tested. The pro
cess is repeated with live degrees of tho
column being measured all tin time by
a standard thermometer to see if the
tube is conical at any point. Common
thermometers generally vary about two
or three degrees, owing to the irreg -
larity of the opening in tlio tube which
causes the mercury to rise slowly where
the opening is too largo and too fast
where the opening is too narrow. It
requires great skill to blow a tubo with
a uniform opening the whole length.
They should be allowed to stand not
less than one mouth—one year is bet
tor —to allow tho mercury to settle be
fore the scale is made.” Tho self-regis
tering thermometer is used for marking
the highest and lowest points reached
within a given time. The bulb is filled
with mercury, above which, in the
tube, is inserted a fine piece of steel
spring; the remainder of the tube i 3
•
The steel spring rests at the highest
point it is pushed to by the mercury,
and is afterward drawn down by a
small magnet. By a duplex arrange
ment and reversing the scale the low
est or (V dost point is indicated in the
same « The deep-sea thermometer
is oft’. me pattern, and is incased
in a henvv copper tube to preserve it
against the pressure of water. It has,
besides, a self-regulating attachment.
The fever or clinical thermometers #ru
made with great nicety, and are iflad
for determining the temperature of wto
human body. «
xne »tory or a i;oar.
I was strolling along carelessly in
Chatham street, when a man ushed
out of a door, with a Sam’l of I'osoc
face, and seized me in his arms. "Great
Caesar!” said I. He started to carry
me into his store. Is it possible,
thought I, that he has mistaken mo for
his clothing store dummy, and is tak
ing me in out of the wet? Before 1
knew where I was, he had dragged me
into his lair, where there were two
more men, who looked so much like
him that the three might have been
taken for twins. I thought of Daniel
in the lion's den. I was representing
Daniel in the tableau. Like Daniel, 1
was taken for a profit.
Did you ever notice how those Dav
enport brothers, of spiritualistic fame,
got their coats off anil on in two turns
and one motion? Well, that’s the way,
only faster, that my old coat came oil
and a new one went on.
“Oh, ain’t he cunning?” said one of
them, referring to my improved ap
pearance.
“Don’t you vant to puy dot goat for
seving tollars?”
I really didn’t need any coat, but on
examining it I found the cloth was the
finest I had ever seen. It was really a
S2O coat
I examined the coat once more. The
garment was of the very best cloth.
Then I asked myself; Is it right far me
to tako advantage of the mistake of
these unfortunate Israelites, who aro
strangers in a strange land? May be
they are just starting out in business,
and perhaps they have families depend
ent upon them for support. On the
other hand, business is business. It is
for them to look out for their own in
terests. If they see proper to sell me
a S2O coat for $7, why should I pre
sume to dictate to perfect strangers
about their business affairs? I reluc
tantly consented to buy the garment.
I handed out $7, which they accepted
without any hesitation, which surprised
me, as I expected them to back out. I
backed out as soon as they wrapped up
my purchase. It was so kind in them
to wrap up the coat for me considering
how little money they got for it. When
I got into the street with the bundle
under my arm I felt as if I had stolen
it. My conscience troubled mo so that
I took the bundle back to Abraham,
Isaac and Jacob, and told them that
there must be somo mistake about the
coat. They became very indignant,
and, not only refused to take it back,
but actually pushed me out into the
street with as much cordiality as
they had formerly shown in pulling me
in.
I hurried off with my precious bar
gain, which the partner of my joys un
wrapped.
“Is this the coat you paid $7 for?/
asked my wife, holding up a wretched,
shoddy garment I had never seen be
fore, or behind either.
“No, no,” I stammered; “that’s not
the coat. The Jew has wrapped up the
wrong coat by mistake.”
“Well, then, take it back to them,
and tell them that they have made a
mistake, and get your money back.”
I did tako the bundle back to them,
but they said there was no mistake.
They would not listen to me. The
children indulged in unseemly levity.
The coat has since been cut up for dish
rags.
A few days after my Chatham ex
noe I met Sykes. He has lived in
New York all his life, and knows ev
erything about the city. He said: “I
know those identical Israelites. Lord,
how they hate me. I can pass there a
thousand times a day, and they will
never try to sell me a coat for $7. They
tried once and I got away with the
coat. You see, I knew all about the
trick of wrapping up the wrong coat.
They fitted me with a coat that was
really worth twenty dollars, the finest
kind of a coat, and then after I had
tried it on, and found it fitted, they
wanted me to tako it off I refused to
co-operate. I would not lot them take
the coat off. Abraham tried to pull it
off, and I hit him a fearful whack on
the nose, I nearly knocked it off It is
crooked yet. Then Jacob ran to the
door and called: Miolice! Bolicel’ A
policeman came running with his
tongue hanging out. I happened to
know him. His name is Mike Sullivan.
He is a whole-souled Irishman. Wo
belong to the same lodge. He clubbed
Abraham and Isaac all over the store,
while I got Jacob over a drygoods box
and paddled him good with a piece of
the cover.
“Policeman Sullivan ran all three Is
raelites in, and Judge Donahue, Anoth
er chum of mine, a whole-souled, noble
Irishman, by the way—you ought to
know him, I’ll introduce you some day
—he fined Abraham, whose nose I dis
located, $lO, and Isaac, whom Sullivan
clubbed, got S2O, and Jacob, whom I
paddled with the piece of a shoe-box,
got ten days for resisting an officer in
the discharge of his duty. And I got
away with the S2O coat, and the best
of it was that I didn’t pay the $7, so I
got the S2O coat for nothing. When
ever I pass their store,” continued
Sykes, “and any of them aro standing
in the door, I shake my hand, and say:
‘Abraham, don't you vant to puy a
goat for seving tollars?’ ” — A!ex. E.
Sweet, in Texas Siftings.
A Good Story of Washington Irving.
“Speaking of his liking to look at
workmen,” says an old friend of Wash
ington Irving, “reminds me of another
good story which he used to tell with
great enjoyment—no one can tell his
stories as he used to. One day when
he was building the extension to Sun
nyside, as he strolled about watching
tho carpenters, he happened to pick up
an apple that had been blown from a
tree. The next moment he felt his
arm tugged, and turning saw a ragged
little urchin—one of half a dozen who
had come to pick up the chips left by
the workmen—looking up into his
face.
“ ‘Say, mister,’ says the little chap,
•just you come with me and I’ll show
you where to get somo good apples;
but mind you don’t let tho old man
know.’ meaning Mr. Irving himself.
“ ‘Well,’ Mr. Irving used to say, tell
ing the story, ‘the little scamp brought
me to the very best tree in my orchard
and there we filled our pockets to
gether and ate our fill of my very best
apples. We got on very well together,
and I believe it’s the only case I ever
heard of where a man participated in
the robbery of his own orchard.’ ”
THE DUDE’S CIGAKET.
It Kills, but “There’s Millions In It.“
“Have you any cigarets, Mr. Drug
Store Man?” a dude asked a North
side drug store.
“Any kind you wish.”
“I’ll take a package of Mignonet
Bouquet.”
“Well, we haven’t any by that name,
but here is the next thing to it. Thcso
are called Til never forget mv sweet
heart.’ ”
“I’ll try those,” said tho thin legged
voting man, and as he balanced a shin
ing pair of glasses upon a long and
prominent nose ho gave several puff*
at the sample of the new brand, glnncvd
admiringly at the pale face reflecfbil
behind the cloud of smoke in the look
ing-glass, nnd went his w y, gaylv
whistling the air to the latest love
song.
The prescription clerk came out from
behind his window and looked at tho
retreating figure in contempt. “Ob
serve,”'ho said, “liow tho youth n-l
mired himself as ho puffed away in
iront of the glass. Well, 1 dare say
lie tobacco siekouc 1 him. but lie
smokes because it looks well, i pre
■•.ume he wears glasses for the san-o
reason.”
“You have no right to complain,”
said the proprietor, “trade would not
be half so good for us if the dudes did
not smoke. You might as well tell the
women to stop eating morphine and
uispense with cosmetics. Suppose they
did, what would become of our occu
pations? We might have to turn in
and do what those men are doing out
there—scrape the streets. It’s all for
the best. The dude smokos cigarets,
and while he does he patronizes tiio
i.obacco case. After awhile he gets a
cough and goes to the doctor, and
comes to us with a prescription. 110
thinks he has a fatal disorder, and so
wo get the best of him again.”
“That may be so,” said tho clerk,
dejectedly, “but in the meantime he
has married a rich girl and is prepar
ed to lead a life of ease while ui ire
sensible men are rolling pills ’
“If you want to catch oslo a rich
girl,” said the proprietor, "you oughter
go and hire out as a coachman. In that
case you’d have to get used to a cob
pipe a la Carlisle, that is until you
could stand in with the family and find
out where tho old man kept his Havan
as.”
“You don’t mean to infer that dudc3
are the only people who smoke ciga
rets, do you?” a reporter asked.
“No; they aro the largest customers.
Some are consumed by young boys and
women. The dude and tho cigaret
seem made for one another, and tho
trade in them —I mean cigarets—de
pend upon the crop of dudes. In Chi
cago there must bo largo numbers of
these silly young men, for tho annual
sale of cigarets is immense. A whole
sale dealer told me recently that at
least 100,000,000 of them were sold by
tho firms ho could name on his fingers’
ends. It is a question whether tho
dude was called out by the cigaret or
whether he originated the cigaret Tho
first cigarets were made for tho trado
about ton years ago, up to which time
the tobacco and papers of ’vhich they
were made were sold separately, ana
those wto cmokcd »hem made them
for themselves. Since then machinery
has been invented by which thoy car.
be made in large quantities. Sinco the
goods began to bo sold in ready-mado
packages the trado has shifted, it ap
pears, from the confirmed smokers over
to dudes and beginners, the old smok
ers preferring cigars, because they are
made of better tobacco and have non*
of the poison contained in tho cigaret
paper. This enters into the blood,
makes the face pale, settles upon tho
lungs, and gives birth to a hacking
cough.”
Here is a piece of information
for housekeepers. We have tried
it several times. Every one knows
how disagreeable tho odor of cooking,
cabbage is. All your neighbors can
tell when you are going to have cabbago
for dinner. If you put a small piece of
red pepper in with the cabbage there
will be no smell. The pepper absorbs
tho odor of the cabbage. Don’t put in
too largo a piece of pepper, however,
or the cabbage will be hot —New York
Sun:
A Dew notion among oculists is that
men’s eyes are more sensitive than
those of women to the colors red, yel
low and green.
■■■ Handsome visitin? enrds with your
a m B name neativ printed 10 c^nts.
■m ■ Beautiful Cnrooro cards, with nam«
m W 26 cent#.
W m D Elegant Yisitincr card?, gilt or fancy
M la with name, 50 cents.
m. W Grand Hidden Name-cards, with
name, 50 cent*.
Any of the above sent post-paid on receipt of
priflOb Tho Plowbo v Co.. Knot Point. Ga»
For Handsomest! Cheapest! Best
ISON ROOFING,
SIDING, CEILING,
Bend for ninstrmted Catalogue and Prtow of
CINCINNATI (O) COKRPQATINQ CO.
Ae an lnduconi»nt for agpnta to handle Wit-
XV.tehea, we make tho following liberal offer: w •
will send a sample of al*ove watch Dy registered m&i
to any address on receipt of $6.50. If you wish to t-x
--amine watch before t&yiDK for it, we will send you a
sample C.O.D. wfttA privilege of inspection
before for it, on nsreipt oo ctA 411 (to
guarantee < liarye* >; or sAiaef&<-tory nft rt*nci*
to show that watch w oiv.crv-d in sfood faith. The above
cut represents Genii.'Turn's watch ; it has ISk poldfta
teil hunt: me oast*; celebrated anchor lever movement;
compensation balanr* 1 hand:stem winder; etsm
setter. t.* i • - the ® ppearaace of
a #7.1. watch. - r if for L*d* <»
Qmt . r !<*n m ’r*"
A
free VICTOR \V.\IC II < a A »4>
Lane, N. 1.
BROWN’S
m\M
BITTERS
Combining IROX with PURE VEGETABLE
TOXICS, quickly find completely CLEAXSES
nnd ENRICHES THE BROOD. quickens
th* '•''♦ion of the I,lvor nnd Kidneys. Clears the
completion, makes 1... .‘ ..ill smooth. It does not
injure the teeth, cause headache, or produce con
stipation—ALL OTHER IKON MEDICINES DO.
Physicians nnd Drogfhsts every where recommend it.
Dr. N. 8. RrooT.Rfl, of Marion. Mass., says; "1
recommend Brown’* Iron Bitters as a valuable tonic
for enriching tho blood, and removing all dyspeptic
symptoms, it does nut hurt the teeth.”
Dr. R. M. PFE7FI.T.. Reynolds. Tnd., says: .‘*l
have prescribed Brown’s Iron Bitters in oaaue of
amemia nnd blood diseases, also when a tonic was
needed, and it has proved thoroughly satisfactory.”
Mu Wm, Byrnr, 26 St. Mary St., New Orleans, IjR ,
»»avß: “Brown’s Iron Bitters relieved me in a casi
of’ blood poisonin*. and I heartily commend it to
those needing a blood puritier.
Mr. W W. Monahan, Tuscumbia, Ala., says: “ I
have been troubled from childhood with Impure
Blood and eruption on my face—two bottles of
Bro'vn’s Iron Bitters effected a perfect cure. I
c tot speak too highly of this valuable medicine.”
Genuine has above Trade Mark and crossed red lines
on wrapper. Tnlu* no other. Made only by
BUO Wft CHEMICAL CO., BALTIMORE, Mlk L __
He Ms Cotton aM Cora Planter
AND
Fertilizer Distributor.
Highest award at International Cotton Exhi
bilon, Atl nta, Ga., the Arkansas State F air th*
Ntioual Cotton Planters’ Association, the Great
fieuthern Exposition, Louisvi'le, Ky., and ths
World’s Exposition, New Orleans, La , and which
has NEVER failed in any contest, has been still
further im; i oved, and is now fullv adapted to any
cbaract- r of soil ana the most unskilled labor, two
styles and fixes belt g now made.
It is the most durable Planter made, and will
Save its Cost Three Times Over
IN A
SINGLE SEASON.
As it plants from eight to ten acres per daj.
with less than one and one-half bushels of
seed per acre, and opens, drops, distributes ter
tilizers and covers at one op- ration, saving
TWO HANDS AND ONE TEAM
The price has been reduced to suit the times.
Bend for circular giving full description and
terms.
Globe Planter M ’fg Co.,
226 Marietta Street, Atlanta. Ga
STEEL PENS.
PATRONIZE HUE INDUSTRY.
We are ...r ,i. s *- pumic STEEL
PENS of our oivu manufacture. Our
Plowboy Eagle
Is the best business pen in the prarket,-75 cents
per gross, postpaid to any address bn receipt of
price. And for tine writing our
Plowboy Favorite
Surpasses any pen yet made, SI.OO per gross
postpaid, on receipt of price. Samples on ap
plication.
THE PLOWBOY CO.,
East Point, Ga.
THE PLOWBOY CO.
18 PR kl'A Iraki/ 1U 1»0 ,
NEWSPAPER
•WORK
Os Every Description In
THE BEST POSSIBLE MANNER.
And it the Shortest Notice. We Furnish
READY PRINT
INSIDES OB OUTSIDES
For Newspapers,
OF THS
Hiilest Orier at Eicelleace.
NEWSPAPER HEADS
Made to Order
From the Latest Style of Type,
Publishers who desire to furnish then
subscribers with the greatest amosnt oi
reading matter at the least cost, will d*
well to communicate with us at once,
We will print the inside or outside, Os
the entire paper, if desired.
Samples of Ready Prints sent on ap
plication, and prices quoted that an
surprisingly low and defy competition.
All we ssk is an opportnnity to serve
onr fellow publishers, confident that we
can give satisfaction.
THE PLOWBOY CO.
Kagt Point, Ga.