Newspaper Page Text
The Montgomery Monitor.
3>. C. Button, Editor and Proprietor.
; REV. DR. TALMAGE.
THE BROOKLYN DIVINE’S SUN
DAY SERMON.
Subject: "David Acting the Fool.”
INotE: There was another largo mMition
to tlvi> church yesterday, malting <>l7 new
members received during the present revival,
80 that the communicant membership of the
Brooklyn Tabernacle is now 4,007.]
Text: “Aiul he ehitmjed his briinmor be
fore them, nnd feigned himsel f mad in their
Aamto, <tnd strflblded on the doors of tiie
flair, arid let his spittle fall dona upon la's
ward.” 1 Sum. xxi., iff.
Thetv Is one scene in the life of David that
Jam may not have pondered. You have seen
ium with a harp playing the devil out of Saul;
with a sling, smashing the skull of Coliah;
with a sword, hacking to pieces the Philis
tines; with A Sceptre, ruling a vast realm;
with a psalm, gathering all nations into d«x
--ology: out in my text, you have David play
ing the fool. Ho has been anointed King,
vet he is in exile and passing incognito among
Tho Uatliitos. They begin to suspect who he is,
and say: “I wonder if this is not the warrior,
King David? It looks like him. Is not this the
man about whom they used to make poetry,
nud about whom they composed n dance,
so that the maidens of the city, reeling now
<on ono foot and now on the other, used to
sing; ‘Saul has slain bis thousands, but
David has slain bis tens of thousands?’ Yes,
It is very lnicti like David. It must be
David. It is David.” David, to escape their
•hands, pretends t<> ho demented. lie said
within himself: “If I act crazily t’.ion of
course these people will not injure me. ISo
one would lie so much of a coward as to as
sault a madman.” So, 'one day while these
Oathites are watching 1 >avid with increased
suspicion, they sec him standing by the door
running his hands meaninglessly up and down
the panels—scrabbling on the door as though
he would climb up, his mouth wide open,
drooling like an infant. I suppose
the boys of the streets threw missiles
•at him; but the sober people of the town
said; “This is not fair. Do you not see that
he has lost his reason * Do not touch this
madman. Hands off! hands off!” So David
escaped; but what an exhibition he made of
himself before all tho ages! There was a majes
ty in King Dear's madness after Kogan and
Gonorfl, his daughters, had persuaded him to
banish their sister Cordelia, and all tho
friends of the drama have been thrilled with
that spectacular. The craziness of Meg Mer
rilies was weird and imposing, and tho most
telling passage in Walter Scott’s “Guy Man
nering. ” There was a fascination about tho
insanity of Alexander Crudcu, who made the
best concordance of tho Bible that the world
ever saw—-made it between the madhouses.
Some time ago, while I was visiting the in
sane asylum on Blackwell’s Island.a demented
woman came up to mo and said, in most
tragic stylo:
“God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;
Ho plants His footsteps in tho sea
And rides upon tho storm.”
* r But there was nothing grand, nothing
■weird, nothing majestic, nothing sublime
about this simulation on tho part of David.
Instead of trusting in the Lord, as he had on
other occasions, ho gathers before him a vast
audience of all generations that were to come,
and standing on that conspicuous stagc| if his
tory, in the presence of all tho ages, he im
personates the slavering idiot I “And lie
•changed his behavior bob ire them.ami feigned
himself mad in their hands, and seraiibled at
the door of the gate, and let his spittle fall
upon liis beard.”
Taking the behavior of David as a sugges
tion, I wish to tell 3'ou how many of the wise,
and the brave, and the regal sometimes play
tho fooL And in the first place, I remark,that
those men as badly play the fool as this man
of the text, who in any crisis of life take their
caso out of the hand of God. David, in this
case, acted as though there were no God to
lift him out of the predicament. What a
contrast between his behavior, when this
brave littlo man stood up in front of the giant
ten feet in height, and looking into liis face,
said: “Thou comest to me with a sword, anil
with a spear, and with a shield; but I
como to tlieo in tho name of tho
Lord of Hosts, tho God of the armies
of Israel, whom thou hast defied. This day
will the Lord deliver tliee into mine hand,ami
I will smite thee, and take thiae head from
thee, and I will give tho carcasses of the hosts
of the Philistines this day unto tho fowls of
the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth,
that all the earth may know that 1 hero is a
God in Israel”—between that time and this
timo, when ho debased himself, and bedrag
gled his manhood, and affoeteu insanity in
order that ho might escape from the grip of
tho Gathites. In tho one case ho played the
hero. In the other case he played the fool. So
does every man who, in tho groat crises of life,
takes his case out of the hand of God. Tho
life of the most insignificant man in this
house is too vast for any human manage
ment. One timo, returning from the West, I
very easily got on the hx’omotive while pass
ing over the plains and talked with the on
fr'"per; but coming on toward tho Alleghany
Fountains, I thought I would like to sit on
the locomotive as it came down from the
mountains amidst that most wonderful
scenery on this continent. I asked the en
gineer if I might ride, but he courteously de
nied me, for there the grade is so steep” and
so winding, and so perilous that he must not
have any one on the locomotive who may
divert his attention when eye, and hand, and
foot, and brain must lie concentred, ready ba
the most sudden emergency. Well, my friends,
life is so stoop, and so perilous, aud so expos <1
to sudden surprises, that none but the Lord
Almighty can guide and engineer it, and our
disasters come from the fa- t that we want to
get up and help the Lord to manage the train.
Keep off the engine! Be willing to let Go.l
pull you where Ho wants to pull you. You
nave no right for an instant to surrender vour
sanity and manhood as David surrendered hi-.
Put your trust in God, and He will take you
through and over the mountains. I very much
suspect that all the successful enterprises
that were ever carried on, and all the sir ess
ful lives that have ever been lived, have been
fully surrendered to God. When the girl
Victoria was awakened in the night, and Slid
that the throne of Great Bi itain was hers,
she said to the Prelate informing her: “I as!.:
your prayers,” and then and there they knelt
down and prayed. Do you wonder that
though since that time all the thrones of Lu
rope have fallen or been fearfully shaken,
hers stands as firm as th" day she ax'-ended
it; and in every country under the
sun, wherever an Englishman hears
that name pronounced, he feels like waving
his hat and crying: “God save the Queen!”
That man and that woman, who put their
trust in God. will go through in triumph;
while those who attempt to gather under their
own supervision the intricate and elaborate
affairs of their life, are miserably playing the
fool. I stood on the beach, looking off upon
tho sea; and there was a strong wind blowing,
and I noticed that some of the v, ads were g. >-
ing that way. and other vessels were going
another. I said to myself: “How is it that
the wind sends one vessel in one direction and
another vessel in another direction? I found
out, by looking, that it was the different way
they had th ■ sails set. And so d-x- t.roub e
come on this world. Rome men it drives into
the harbor of heaven, and other men it drives
on tho rocks. It depends upon the way you
fcave your sails set. Ail the Atlantic and
Pacific oceans of surging sorrow cannot sink
n soul that has asked for God’s pilotage. Tho
difficulty is. that when we have misfortunes
of any kind, wo put them, in Go Vs hand, and
they stay there n little whilc; end then w - go
anil get them again, amt bring them back. A
Vessel comes in from a foreign port. As it
comes near the harbor it six's a
pilot floating about. It hails the
inlet. The pilot comes on board, and
he says: “Now, Captain, von have hi 1 a
stormv passage. Gy down aiyl sltvii, and I
will take the vessel hltii Now’ York harbor.”
Aftel' awhile the Captain begins think: “Am
1 right in trusting this vessel to that pilot? I
guess T'll go up and ;-.ee.” So li" comes to the
pilot and says: “Don’t you see that rook?
Don't von six' those headlands? You will
wreck the ship. Let. me lav hold the helm for
awhile for mysrif. and then I’ll trust to von.”
The pilot becomes angry, and says; “Twill
either take care of this ship or not. If you
want to, T will get into mv yawl and
go ashore, or back to mv boat.” Now wo
xnv to tlio l ord; “ O God. take mv life, take
my all. in Thy keening! Be Thou my guide;
bo Thou mv pilot.” We go along for a littlo
while, and snddeiilv -.vakc up, and say:
“Things arc going nil wrong. O. Lord, wo
are driving on these rocks, and Thou art
going to lot ns bo shipwrecked.” Go I snvs:
‘Yon go and rest: I will take charge of this
vesseljnnrt tnko It into the Humor It is
God’s business to ePmfort.nnd it is our business
to be comforted. Herbert. tho great, thinker,
philosophized' about himself, philosophized
about this world, philosophize! about ovorv
thing. then in his living moments asked that
only ono word might be cut upon his tomb
stone, and that word “Tnfolicissimiis" —most,
unhappv—descriptive of tho state of the lives
anil of the deaths of those who take their case
out of the hand of God. Tho only uppronriai '
inscription for their banqueting hail, and
their eouipago, and their grave, and the wall
of their eternal prison-house—“lnfelieissi
mus.” In drooling, moral idiocy, tliev are
scrabbling at tho door of their happiness,
which never opens; miserably playing tho
fool.
Again, 1 remark that all those persons plav
the fool, as certainly ns did this man of the text,
who allow tho technicalities of religion to
ston their salvation. David was wise about
a great manv things, but bis cuttings-up in
the text for a littlo while eclipsed his char
acter. And I know wise men and groat men,
competent for all other stations, who are
acting a silly and foolish part in
regard to tho technicalities of religion.
They ask us some ouestions which
wo rnunot answer categorically, and
so they burst into n broad guffaw, as though
it is of onv more interest to us than it ought
to bo to them. About the Atonement, about
God’s decrees, about, man’s destiny, tliev ask
a great many questions which we cannot
answer, and so they deride us. as though we
could not ask them a thousand questions that
they cannot answer, about their eves,
about their oars, about, their finger
nails, about, everything. A fool can
ask a question that a wise man cannot
answer. O. you cavilling men! O, von pro
found men! O, you learned men, do please
admit something. You have a souD Yes.
Will it live for ever? Yes. Where? Yon say
that Jesus Christ is not n Divine Saviour.
Who is He? Where will von go after
von leave your law books, and your
medical prescriptions, and vour club room,
and your newspaper office —where will
vou go to? Your body will lie six
feet under ground. Where will your
soul be? Tin- black coat will be off, the
shroud on. Those spectacles will be removed
from your vision, for the sod will press your
eyelids. Have you any idea that an earthly
almanac describes the. years of your lifetime?
Df what stuff shall I gather tho material for
the letters of that which describes
your eternal home? Shall it bo
iron chain or amaranthine garland?
Tho air that stirs the besweatod locks of your
(lying pillow, will it come off a garden or a
desert? O, quit the puzzling questions and
try these momentous questions. Quit, the small
questions and try these great questions. In
stead of discussing whether tho serpent
in Eden was figurative or literal,
whether the Mediterranean fish did or
did not swallow the recreant prophet,
whether this and that, and the other thing is
right or wrong, come and discuss one ques
tion: “How shall I get rid of mv sins ari l
win heaven?” That is the question for you.
Yea, there have been men who have aotually
lost their souls because they thought there
was a discrepancy between Mosos and
Professor Silliman—because they could
not understand how there could be light
before tho sun rose the light appearing in
verse three of Genesis, and the sun appearing
not until verse sixteen —and because they do
not know how the moon could stand still
without upsetting the universe, and be
cause they had decided upon the theory of
natural selection. A German philosopher
In dying had for his chief sorrow that, he
had not devoted his whole life to the st udy of
the dative ease. O, when your immortality
Is in peril, why quibble? Quit these non-es
sentials, my dear brother. In tho name of
God, I ask you in regard to these matters of
the immortal soul, that you do not play the
fool.
What is that, man doing over in Bowling
Green, New York? Well, he is going in for
i ticket fora transatlantic voyage. He is
quarrelling with the clerk about thv spots -
the red spots on the ticket —and he i.-i quarrel
ing about the peculiar signature of the Fresi
lent of the steamship company, and he is
quarrelling alxiut the manner of the clerk
who hands him <h“ ticket How long
has he lieen standing there? Three weeks.
Meanwhile, perhaps twenty steamers have
zone out of port, and I hear the shriek of the
steam tug that could lake him to the last ves
sel that could lx-ar him to his engagement
in London. .Still he stands in Bowling
Breen diseasing the ticket. What do
you sav i:i regard to that man? You say
he isa fool. Well, in that very way are many
men acting in regard to the matters of the
soul. They are caviling alxiut the Aton i
rnont, the red spots on tho ticket—alxiut the
•haracter of the minister who hands them
tiie ticket—about win tin r it has n
Divine or human signature, and mean
while, all tln-ir onjx rtunith s for heaven
are sailing out of the harbor, and I Ivacthe
lart tap of the lx 1! aanouneing Heir last
chance for heaven. Go aboard! Do no'
waste any more time in higgling anil carping,
anil criticising, and wondering, nud. in tic
presence of an astounded heaven, playing the
fool.
i go still further, and say to you that there
men p'ay the fool v.ho mill- rtake to j ay nut
eternity for time. How little care, do v.e 1.
3to upon the railroad depot wh re we st >p
twenty minutes to dine. We dash in and >ve
dash out again. We do note-amir the
architecture of the building, nor the five
of tho caterer. Wp supply our hunger,
we pay our money, and we put <n our
hat and take our place in the train. What is
that depot as compared wi!h th - place for
which we are bound? Now, rny fro id- , thin
world is only a stopping pi;ve on the way to
a momentous destination, and yet how many
of us it down as though we lindconsmiim;'.!* I
our journey, a-; though w had come to a final
depot, when our stopping here is a.-: compan d
with our stopping there as is twenty
minutes to twelve hours—yea, r tin- one
blind re th part of a second compared with ton
thousand miliii n years! Would Spain sell ,i i
f’uha for a bushel of whoa* ? Would i-j; :!ur:d
sell us India for a ton of coal ? Would v eni-e
sail us all i.er pictures for an American school
lioy's sketch? Ah! fl.at would in- a Ix'tter
bargain for England. Spain and V« ni-c tc • i
that man makes who gives h.s eternity for
time. Yet how many there are who are say
ing to-dav: “Give me the world's dollars
MT. VERNON, MONTGOMERY COL, GA.., WEDNESDAY, MARCH ( .l, IHSi.
m iki von may havo tuo ctornai rowaras
Give ini'flu wilrJd’S nppjntlse mil you may
have tlic garlands of God. Give uui tWintyj
or forty, or sixty years of worldly sncchsscS
mid 1 den t care v. hat bccoincs of the future.
lam going into that world unitisuro 1.1 take
the responsibility. Don't bother me about
vour religion. Hero I liaVe the two worlds
before me—this one and the next. 1 have
i'll -on this. Go away from me, God an;l
angels; and all thoughts of the future!”
But. where is CroesuS anil Cleopatra: and
.Ksopiis, who had one dish of food Hint cost
one million fourhimili'ivl thousand dollars: and
[•outulus, who had a pound of fish worth a
hundred and seventy live thousand dollars;
and Scaur us, who bought a country scat for
twenty-nine million dollars; and Tiberius,
who left at death :i fortune of one hundred
and eighteen million, one hundred and
twenty thousand dollars? Where are they?
If a windy day should blow all tho dust that
is left of them into your eyes, it would not
make you wink twice! Ah, my friends, then
very certainly your comforts of surrounding
cmuiot keep back the old archer. \qu can
not cl arm him with music, or dazzle him with
plate, or decoy him with pictures, or bribe
him with your money.
What is the use of your struggling for that
which you cannot keep? As long ns von ha ve
clothes and food and shelter and ixluedt.ioii for
yilm-si lvi s ami your children and tho means
ibr Christian generosity, be satisfied, ’i on
worrv, and tug, and sweat, and wear
yourself out for that which cannot sat
isfv. Whole flocks of crows’ feet on
vour temples and cheeks before they
ought to have conic there. You arc ten yean
Idcr than you ought to be, and yet you can
not take along with you into the future world
even the two pennies on your eyelids to keep
them shut after you are dead. Arid yet you
hold on to this world with the avidity of the
miser who persisted in having his bonds
and mortgages and notes of hand tn
the bosom of his dressing-gown while M
was dying, and in the last moment, held
his pnrcqnieiit in snob a tight grip that the
lmdorlftkor after death must almost break the
mail’s fingers in order to get t lie bond away.
Men arc actually milking that choice, while
there are others who have done far differ
ently. When they tried to bribe with money
Martin Luther,some one said: ‘There’s nouS '
trying to do that, that Dutch beast cares
nothing for gold.” Wheri they tri*’it;by giving
him a cardinal’s li.-it , to bribe Savonroln, he
stood up in his pulpit and cried out: “1 will
have no red hat, save that of martyrdom,
colored with mv own blond.” These men
chos:' Christ amid great qiei*sooiitioiis: but how
many there aro in this day, when Christianit y
seems to be popular, who are ashamed of
Christ, and not, willing to take hardships- the
seeming hardships—of His religion. And,alas
for them! for long after the crash of the
world’s demolition, they shall find that in all
these years they were turning their backs
upon the palaces of heaven, scrabbling on the
door of this world’s treasure bouse, th" saliva
of a terrific Immevon their lins horribly and
overwhelmingly playing the fool.
Once more T sav to you that those men qilav
tho fool who. while they admit the righteous
ness of religion, sot it down for future at
tendance. Do you know how many times the
word “now” occurs in the Bible? Over two
hundred times. Ono of tho shortest words in
the Bible, and yet one of the grandest in
meaning anil ramifications. When does tho
Bible say is the best time to renent? Now.
When does the Bible sny t hat, God will for
give? Now. WhondoesGod say is the onlv
safe time to attend to the matters of the soul?
Now. But, that word “Now” molts away ns
easily ns n snowflake in the evening rain.
Where is the “now” of the dead of hi t, venr ?
(iho “now” of tho dead of last month? the
“now” of the dea l of last week? tho “now” of
the dead of yesterday? Time picked it
up in its beak and flew awav with it. Swam
merdam and other naturalists tell Us there
aro insects which within the space of one
minute are horn, fulfill their mission, cele
brate their nuptials, and die; but this won
derful “now,” is more short lived than they.
Tt is a flash, a stroke, a glance. Its cradle is
its grave. If men catch it at nil, it is
with a quick clutch. Millions of men have
lost their sou! immortal because they did not
understand the momentum and the ponderos
ity of that one word. All the strategic pow
ers of hell are exerted In trying to subtract
from tiie energy and emphasis of that word.
They say it is only a word of three letters
while there is a better word of eight letters
—“to-morrow.” They say: “Throw awav
that small word and take this other grand
one;” and so men say: “Give its ‘to-morrow’
arid take away from us ‘now;’” and between
those two words is the Appinri Way of death,
and a great multitude throng that road,
jostling and elbowing each other, hastening
on swifter and swifter to die. For how much
would you walk the edge of the roof of your
house? For how much would you come out on
the most dangerous peak of the Matterhorn
and wave your cap? You say: “No money
could induce me to do it. Anil yet you stand
to-day with one foot on a crumbling moment
ind the other foot lifted, not knowing where
you will put it down, while the distance Ix*-
tween you and the bottom of the depth be
neath you no plummet can measure, no arith
metic calculate, no wing of lightning cleave.
And yet tho Bible tells us that unless a
man has a new heart he cannot get into
heaven; and some of you are not seeking for
that now heart. In Mexico, sometimes the
ground suddenly opens, ami a man standing
near the gap can see down an appalling dis
tance. But O! if to-day, at your feet, there
should open the chasms of the lost world. how
you would fling yourself back and hold the
pew, anil cry: “God save me—now! now!
now!”
I greet you to-ilny, my brother, in the very
gate of eternity. Some of us may live a
longer and some of us may live a shorter
time: hut, at the longest, life is so short that
I feel we nil stand on the door-sill of tie' great
future. The next stop—all the angels of God
cannot undo the consequences. Will your exit
from this life be a rising or a falling?
The righteous go up. Tho Saviour helps
them. Ministering spirits meet them. Th"
doors of Paradise open to receive them. Up!
up! up! Oh, what a grand thing it is tonic
with a strong faith in God, like that which
Stonewall Jackson had. when, in his expiring
moments, he said: “Let us cross over the
river, and lie down under the shade.” But
to h-ave this world unpreparedly is
falling- falling from God, falling from
hope, falling from peace, falling from
heaven- swiftly falling, wildly falling,
for ever Billing. So it was with one who hail
Ix—ri eminent for his intellgonae, but who hod
omitted all preparation for the future world
and had come down to his last hour. He said
to his wife, seated bv the bedside: “ t), don’t
talk to me about pain; it is the mind, woman,
it is the mind! Os all the years of
my life, / never lived one minute for
heaven. It is uwfully dark here,” he whi
pared. “It is awfully dark, f scorn to stand
on the slippery edge of a great gulf. I shall
fall! I urn falling!” And with a shriek, as
when a man tumbles over a precipice, he ex
pired. Wise for this world, alxiut ail the mat
t‘ is of his immortal soul he was, his life long,
playing the fool.
I will take tho ease of some one In tho
building to-day and a k you what you think
about that ease. He lias rxin all his life amid
Bibles and churches, so that he knows his
duty. Christ has offered to do nil for that
man that a Divine Savior ran offer to do for
a dying soul. Heaven has been offered
him, yea, Ix-en pushed upon him, and yet he
has not t.i" pted it and to-day he sits de
lilx rately ai owing his chances for life to go
away from him. What do you say of that
one? “Hallucinated,” says one: “Monoma
niacal,” says another; “Huy ing the fool," says
another. Ob, how many-there are taking
“gUB DEO FACIO FORTITER.**
just that qMsition! There is such a tiling as
pyrotnania. an insanity which disposes one to
destroy buildings by lire; but who would have
{in’’light !hnt there was a pyromaniii of the
immortal nature, ffitd that any one could be
so struck through with that insanity as to
have a desire nnd disposition to ciittsume the
soul?
Awake, man! awake, woman! from tho
phantasm, real or affected. Take Christ,.
Eseup" for eternity. Jlist see what has bren
done for you. Lift the thorn/ cup from the
brow of Jesus, and six' the price that was puul
for your liberation, Ixiok at the side, unit
see w lr'iv life spear writ'tin mid moved round
and roaaii, amid broken utter it's, the blood
rushing forth in aufiil sacrifice for
tour sins. (), wrap those bare and mutilated
foot of the dying Lord in your womanly Dp.
for they were torn in a hard tramp for your
soul! i), for tears to wrep over this liieern
lion of Christ! O, for a broken heart to
wo s lip Him! O, for an omnipotent impulse
strong enough to throw this whole nadioneo
down at tiie feet of a crucified and risen
Jens! \Ve must repent. Wt most
bblievo. We must be snveil. I cannot eon
sriit to have you lose your souls. Corin' with
lfle, nnd as in the summer l ime we go down
tip the bench and bathe in the waters, so to
ithy let us join hands and wnde dow n into the
summery s'-n of God’s forgiveness. Roll
over up tides of (tverltiMing love, roll over
us! Dear Lord, we knock nt the doer of
njct'ov, not ns the demented knock, nlft
knowing wind they want; Imt knocking ut tho
door of mercy, because wo want to come in,
while others run their meiiniiigloss hands up
and down the panels, and scrabble at. the gale,
in tho presence of Gixl, and men, and angels,
and devils, playing the fool.
The I’ro.te of Cow l’U ichingi
Time was, and not so very long ago
either, when the cowboys received their
pav after the round up they felt in duty
bound to go to Miles City and blow it
in at the gambling dens, saloons, and
other disreputable places. Cow punch
ing is at best a very tough business, find
full of risks to the life and limb, and
uav is small nud by no means adequate,
and after the round up there follows a
long period ol enforced idleness, during
which they arc given food ntid lodging
only by the ranch owner. Tho average
cowboy was wont to turn up afler his
semi annual spree with a very largo
head nnd not a cent in his pocket. Os
late, however, the boys have taken a
tumble to themselves and are saving
their money. Ho common has the eco
nomical spirit become among them that
Miles City has seen this year its quietest
season.
Most of the cowboys looked upon
their coming to Montana to herd cattle
as the mistake of their lives. The glow
ing stories of thrilling adventure and
sudden wealth of the cowboys’ life which
are common in tho Must arc in most
cases responsible for their entering the
field, but tho reality is quite a different
matter. Many of the economical ones
’have been enabled by their savings tc
return to their Eastern homes.
People who have not been through the
had lands have but a faint conception
of the utter desolation and worthless
ness of a cowboy's home, lie is roasted
in summer and frozen in winter. 'Flic
lutids can never he used for anything hilt
grazing, and the distances arc therefore
something immense. One peculiarity of
the country makes rapid riding a very
difficult, not to say dangerous, under
taking. The earth is so frainhlc that u
tiny watercourse will speedily cut sot
itself a deep gully, or "coolie,” as it is
called, the depth of which when filled
with snow is entirely problematical. A
horseman who rides with a cowboy’s
recklessness mav suddenly find himself
at the bottom of a six or eight foot
coolie, with liis horse on top of him,
and no way to get out if he happens to
I e still alive —save tunnelling up to the
head of tiie stream through the snow.
Then one of your broncho’s feet is as
likely ns not to sink suddenly two feet
down into a coyote's hole when he is
going at a furious pace. Result: Hisleg
snaps off like a pipe stern mid you arc
shot through the air to a point far he
yond, ami picked up more dead than
alive, 'iho water is generally bitter
with alkali, and scorches your throat as
you swallow it; there is little to cat,aud
that is hard to get.
A Sharp Retort.
The following story is too good to
drop into oblivion: In a Vermont
county court an unpromising looking
witness was being badgered by, a ch an
cut lawyer, who stands high in his pro
fession, and who, although well ad van
ced in years and completely bald, prides
himself upon hii youthful appearance
and persona! presence.
The point aimed at was to determine
which of two barns, one of which was
destroyed ny fire, was covered by insur
ance; and the method of the witness in
distinguishing them as tho “old” and
the “new” barn, caused the lawyer to
brancli out in a series of confusing
questions, winding up with “what is
tiie age of the one you define as the ‘old’
barn, and what are the distinguishing
marks that attest its age?” ‘'Ball,”
said the badgered wilnesi, looking tho
lawyer straight in the e o, “the old
barn must have been as nearly as old as
you are, and needed shingling full as
bad.”
A wjuTKit in a f'anadian paper, speak
ing of the possibilities of pulp as a sub
stitute lor lumber in the manufacture of
furniture and other artic cs, now exclu
sively made of wood, calls attention to
the resources afforded by northern t an
ad a for the best pulp making wo ds. It
is found that in some localities the for
ests are now at the best age for pulping
purposes, and capable of yielding from
forty to one hundred and twe ty cords
per acre, if the whole of the timber were
utilized. By mixing the pulp with clays,
Steatite, asbe tos* plumbago, mica, etc ,
substances of cVery possible color aud
compactness may be produced.
1/18 A rro INI E D to LON ISIS
Mr. NirlioltiV I xiicrih>> 0'v:*lls v -l M;i.
rlatlsllu r*t*l 1 1»• :si«-ti»•
S.ts Pi.'Ancisco. —A number of colo
histS fromOwens'sSocialistic settlement,
at Topdllyuntpo, in tin; Btato of Sanaloa,
Mexico, arrive*/ in this city Sunday
night on the stcitrfMW Newdxnti. John
W. Nichols, one of their number, from
New YOrfe, tells the story of hi* expo
nonce, winch detracts somewhat from
the glowing descriptions of life on the
shores of the Gulf of California that have
neon so freely printed in tlie East. Fer
tile soil. magnificent harbor, lovely cli
mate all were pie!lift'd so seductively
that it is no wonder that intelligent men
and women were carried away mill in
! duccd to make a move which they will
tepertt *'ll their lives Instead of the
soil being fertile, Mr. Nichols says terse
ly that the siteciidscii for New Jerusa
lem lor tin* Socialists consists of nothing
but rock and sand, and vegetable growth
is entirely of the cactus family. Tncro
i is no fertile land of anv extent within «!5
miles of the “city.” The locality is so
slightly elevated above the sea level,
too, that at every high tide it is
covered with water, and at low tide
1,000 acres of mud are exposed, sending
up a cloud of malarial exhalations which
is anything but conducive to health.
Althou li the colonists have been locat
ed there for some time, there 1* as yet
no growing crop of any kind beyo'ffd a
little patch of “garden sauce,’ which
might at a pinch afford a mouthful to
each of 100 or aOO deluded mortals who
are broiling under the sun on sandy
waste. There is just one building In
this entire town, it such by courtesy it
may be termed. Tills is a rough board
structure, <li nified by the name of A1
bertin Hall, mid which u thrifty New
England farmer w mid hardly think tit
shelter for bis horses. All ho people
there are living in tents, nn*l while that
method in life is sometimes not, altogeth
er without its advantages, still, as a
regular thing, it may as we l bo admit
te*l to have some drawbacks. Astotho
harbor, concerning wlii< li so much lias
been said, it Is so shallow that none but
vessels of the lightest draught can cuter
it, and Nichols and his companion had
to wade over half a mile in water almost
knee deep in order to reach a small
boat Unit took them l*> deep water to
catch the steamer. When Mr Nichols
started for Topnlobampo from New
York lie fell in with a party of enthusi
astic colonists from Maine, and they
traveled together.
When they reached Guaymas an agent
from I opolubampo met them and levied
an assessment for the purpose of proeur
ing food. They all contributed, tilt
sums advanced varying from $> to SIOO
and a goodly supply of provisions was
purchased. As soon ns they reached the
sand and cactus patch where the canvas
city is situated, they found that they
were to be assessed twenty five cents
apiece for meals; hut, to counterbalance
this, they were allowed credit “on
books” of'n a day for labor performed.
That none of them will become wealthy
from thin source, however, is shown by
the fact that so far all the work done
lias been confined to road making and
nn attempt at grading a bed for railroad
tracks. This latter is progressing so
rapidly that it is possitde, if nil bands
turn to and work real hard, that in the
course of five years or so us much as a
mile or u mile and a quarter may be
constructed. In the work Mr. Nichols
says that the whole scheme is a fraud of
the first water. The colonists will be
obliged to depend entiicly upon outside
sources for their food supplies, and if
for any reason these cease or do not
come regularly, milch suffering must
ensue, There are many there who would
only be too glad to get away if they
could but who are not so fortunate ai
to be possessed of enough means to pay
for steamer passage.
A Man who Has to ho Patient.
The Pittsburgh l> H/mtch says : For
nine years John McCracken has oc
cupied a bed at Hie City Poor Farm.
For the past three years he has been
entirely helpless. Every joint, except
ing about tin: jaw, has become as stone,
perfectly immovable. The case is one
of the most peculiar over recorded in
this portion of the country.
A dozen vears ago John McCracken
was a well-known and popular young
man living in Lawrenc rville. One night
when Jie was out with a party of friends
he was exposed to the rain and cold for
several hours, iiis constitution was sup
posed to be sufficiently strong to with
stand almost any tiling, but that night of
rain and cold proved an overdose even
for him. The next day he lmd rheuma
tism, and from that day to this he has
never left his bed.
Gradually the disease fastened itself
on him, and at the end of a couple of
years lie was helpless and his money v/as
gone. He was sent t > the Poor Farm iu
187 M. lie lius ooen almost in one posi
tion there since the first.
The lactic acid in his blood destroyed
the synovial membranes and fibrous struc
tures about the joints of his body, and
the empty spaces gradually filled with
deposits of lime, salts and mineral sub
stances.
The lower limbs became still first; the
toes, ankles and knees Then tiio hips
and arms became immovable, and finally
it became impossible for him to move
liis head more than half uu inch. He ia
now absolutely helpless.
Two cowboys fresh from the range
squared o*T at twelve* pa es for a duel in
< lieyenne. The artiilery was raised
arid ready for the word, when one of
tlie combatants suggested that they
take a farewell drink. This was agreed
to, and, ua they took more than ouo
drink, they soon forgot to light.
VOL. 11. NO. I.
THE COMMASDERY BALL.
Many I'rrtty l.iullrn nml (he CoiiliKan
They Wore.
At thcCommandery Hall in New York,
a grand alTair, the following wero among
the costumes noted:
Garnet velvet and point lace; dia
monds and pearls; boquet of pink roses
and white lilacs
Worth dress of ciel bleu silk, point
laco, diamond necklace and pink roses.
White silk nml ctucliesso luce, pearl
trimmings and diamond ornaments.
Pale blue satin, embroidered in poarls,
tea roses and diamonds.
White silk and lacc, made dancing
length, with bodice of pale blue, bodice
pearls and white neplretus roses; dia
mond ornaments.
Bronze satin, cream white flowers and
diamonds.
Black satin, with jet ornaments and
black marabout feather trimmings.
White pointe d’Esprit draped over
white silk anil worn with white feath
ers and diamonds.
Black satin, with jet ornaments and
black marabout feather trimmings, white
bonnet and feathers, diamond orna
ments.
White pointe d’esprit, draped over
white silk and worn with white fcathera
and diamonds.
Dark blue velvet, with a court traiu
and panels of Elite cut jet passementerie
draped in point laec; diamonds.
Cream white silk frise; pearls.
(.’ream silk, draped in lace, with bod
ice of scarl t velvet, sash of moire; dia
monds.
Heliotrope silk and pansy velvet with
pearls, point lace and pink roses; dia
monds.
Cremn white satin and poi >t laco,
with Medici collar.
Pink satin and pearl passementerie;
diamonds.
An elaborate toilet of olive and laco,
and diamond ornaments.
Pluck thread lacc over satin, with jet
ornaments, white pompons in the hair;
diamond*.
Pale blue silk and white lacc, pink
roses and diamonds.
Heavy brown silk and Persian passe
menterie, white roses and diamonds.
Black satin und jet, diamonds and
pink roses und blues.
A lovely blonde, wore rose pink silk,
draped with white laco, pink roses and
pearls.
A pretty gown of heliotrope silk with
pointed corsage; long heliotrope gloves,
pearls.
A peach blow silk, decollete, with
pink roses.
White lace over silk, with pointed
bodice, shoulder pius of diamonds,
crimson roses.
Mauve silk anil bronze velvet brocade,
with pearl embroidery and diamonds.
Black satin and luce, with Spanish
roses and diamonds.
V. hitc silk, embroidered iu flowers
and draped in Oriontul silk, point lace,
pearls and diomouds.
Black batin and lacc, pink roses and
diamonds.
Black brocade anu steel passementerie,
pink crush roses and diamonds.
Black satin and jet, orange tips and
diamonds
White silk and lace, scarlet tulips and
diamonds.
Point laco over white pearl trimming,
diamond ornaments.
White lace draped over silk, with
clusters of lilacs.
Hose colored silk, with pearls and
sash of moire, pearl ornaments.
Lavender silk anil white lace, cut de
collete, and lavender feathers.
White faille francaise and silver tullo,
trimmed with pearl ornaments and pink
feathers.
White tulle and sash of pale green
satin and carnations
White Ottoman silk and brocade,
diamond aud ruby ornaments,
A Mar It min’sc ncc.
The Portland Qrt(j<mian says: While
or: his way home at an early hour in the
morn ing a reporter fell in with Captain
John I fiends, h me ward bound also. If
was blowing rather fresh and raining,
and the reporter remarked, “Itathei
rough. Cap’ll.” “Not so rough ns it
was where I was JO years ago to day.*
was the reply. “Where was that?”
“It was landing provisions at Vera Crua
for the American army. The soldieri
were sulfering for food, find we took a
lot of provisions to the mole in a life
boat and threw them ashore, and tin
soldiers, with life lines around them,
waded out in the water to catch the
(lour, bacon, etc.” The United States
brig Sumner, commanded by Kaphue)
Kemmcs, was wrecked in the same storm
near Vera Cruz. (’apt. Iliends com
manded the United States dispatch
boat Camargo on the Lower Mississippi
during the rebellion, and there threw
overb aid a pilot who ran him ashore
under a rebel battery.
Healing a Car.
Albert L. Mtirdcok. of Poston, writer
to th** I'rantieri/il as follows:
“There are at tin* Patent Olfice, Wash
ington, ;:<:0 models for heating railroad
ears and not one adopted by any rail
road company in the United States, and
never will be until public opinion forces
them to action. 1 will deposit 9500 in
bank on notice of any one equipping
a train of five cars, and. after running
three months, if accepted by the rail
road company, and an order is given to
equip twenty five cars, the sum shall be
payable on presentation of the contract
to the inventor of the first method that
is accented.”