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®hc Jftontaommi monitor.
D. C. Sutton, Editor and Proprietor.
THE WANDERER.
Joiner, joining the oaken seam,
All so lonely and dusty gray,
Shaking thy head in a waking dream,
Where he thy follows of yesterday ?
Fast and gone from the trodden sill;
Each on Ids errand; and all for naught ?
For men are coming and going still;
And stiil must the joiner’s task be wrought
Why, well thou sayest, thou mournful wight!
But dost thou remember the students four,
Who sang of old, In the waning light
Os the golden evenings, before thy door?
And do I remember ? And wast thou one
Os that boastful band ? For my eyes arc
dim.
Nay ! for with tempest and foreign sun,
Scarred thou seemest and swart and grim!
And fair were they; and they’ vowed their
vows;
And the maidens listened, in hut and hall;
And still they talked as they held carouse,
Os what should happen and what befall.
And one must rail at the miser’s greed,
And he of them, only, hath learned to
hoard!
And one should win with the poet’s screed
What he hath won with the victor’s sword!
And one should journey beyond the foam,
And never his eyes behold the sea !
And one of them only abide at home;
And half I fancy that thou art ho!
Oh, vex thee not with the pleasures I planned;
But tell me !—wliat of thy daughter fair?
And wears she a ring on the lily hand,
So smooth and slender beyond compare ?
For hers be jewels of East and West,
And here be spoils of tho Southern shell,
Won with danger, at love's behest,
And who is the giver, her heart shall tell.
Now wliat to thco is her lily hand ?
And what, to thee, was her love so dear ?
And how shall she care for thy jewels grand,
Now that her coffin I fashion here ?
Why, truly, truly, if these tilings be,
There is never a solace for those that roam
In all that their slumbering eyes may see,
More false than the dreahis of the coming
home!— Boston Transcript.
RESCUED FROM A HAREM.
THRILLING EPISODE IN A SAILOR’S LIFE.
The street which was our regular
route to tho ship had a gate and a guard
house at either end. Blank walls about
twenty feet high extended some 500 feet
along both sides of the street. Behind
these walls were the palaces of two of
tho grand pachas. We could only see
the windows of the upper stories; the
magnificence within was left to our
imagination. As we were walking past,
one afternoon, one of the windows was
suddenly thrown open, and there ap
peared at it the most beautiful woman
I had ever seen. We w'ere fairly electri
fied by her beauty. She had defied a
well-known edict in showing us her face,
as we knew. Instantly as she appeared
we saw her throw something over the
wall, and then she closed tin; window.
It was a note which she had thrown.
c
ili I
We all rushed to pick it up. The prize
was won by a Swedish captain, who im
mediately pocketed it.
When we arrived at the landing the
Swedish captain invited me on board
liis ship. We had been so intimate dur
ing our stay here that the rest of the
party could not take offense at this pref
erence; but how anxious they were to
know the contents of that note ! I in
sisted that no gentleman could ask, nor
would any divulge its contents, which
justly belonged to its captor. Once on
board, the note was opened, when an
agitation seized tin; captain which made
him appear to me like a lunatic.
“Captain,” he said, handing me the
note, “you are married, and circum
stances have proved how much you love
your wife. lam unmarried and have
fallen desperately in love. Help me by
your advice. What shall I dot My
ship is ready to sail and the wind is fair.
I do not own the vessel or cargo, and
therefore have no right to detain her.
Read, and tell ma what to do.”
As mv own marriage had been very
romantic this affair was doubly exciting
V> me. The note was written in a good
English hand as follows:
“I know you are Christians and will
save me from this life of degradation.
Entombed in this harem, from which
there is no other way of escape, I appeal
to you in mercy to save me. God, I
know, will open your hearts, give wis
dom, and guide you to-morrow night to
a silken thread thrown from tliis window,
near where you found my note. To the
thread attach your answer. Death
awaits discovery.”
The night was spent in devising
means of rescue. The captain swore
upon the Bible that he would marry her
if rescued, and if she would consent.
Jewels are most prised when most diffi
cult to obtain. I was in full sympathy
with his feelings, and when the day
broke our plan of action lnvd been deter- |
mined. I saw that he was unfitted to go i
to sea, his head being entirely turned,
and to ease his conscience upon the j
point of duty I pointed out that the in
terest of nil parties would be served l>cst
if he should defer his departure
until the dark moon, when tho plan
devised could bo put into operation.
This would necessitate u delay of th e
flays.
Among our friends \W were to pretend
that no importance attached to the mis |
sive which the lady had thrown out. Ai
a reason for his delay in not sailing tin !
Swedish captain was to say he had dis
covered a leak in his ship’s top sideaftei -
lit' had loaded her, which made it neces- !
sary to careen her for repairs. It re- j
quired much tact to avoid the captains I
with whom wo had been in daily com
pany, anti to make excuses to stay
ashore late every night. We staved
ashore to become acquainted with the
guards, whom we thought we c aid in
duce, by appearing to be half drunk and
by a liberal use of money, to open the
gates for us at any time. Tho first nigh!
we half-staggered up to the gate, handed
the guards one hundred piasters, and
then showed them our empty pockets,
whereupon they allowed us to puss
through the gate, pointing to their hearts
to assure us that no one would pass that
way to molest us. Each of Us carried
the usual paper lantern to illuminate
the way, and we were well armed with
pistols and cutlasses. During the day
we had paced the distance from the gate
to the spot where we might expect to
find the thread, and we now had but tc
pace off the same number of steps in
the darkness. During the day also we
had not failed to show ourselves fre
quently in the street to let the prisonei
know that we meant to communicate
with her.
We found the threael anil attached
our note of reply, first putting out our
lights to avoid discovery. Softly pull
ing the thread, we felt a gentle strain in
reply, and the note was pulled up, to
reach, we prayed, the hands of her who
so anxiously waited it. On our return
to the gate it was immediately opened
when we knocked, and the guard had
recognized our English voices.
Our letter to the lady contained the
’ollowing:
“On the fifth night, counting from to
morrow, we will rescue you by a rope
adder. At one o’clock we will attach
i strong line to the end of your core!.
Pull this until the laelder reaches you.
The line will be sufficiently strong to
Dear your weight. Place the line over
i hook or post, but do not make it fast.
We will hold the end, so fear not. Tlio
line null be withdrawn after your des
cent, so that no one will discover the
manner of your escape. There will be
ao moon. Before daybreak you will be
in a vessel under way for England. If
sou can devise any other means, or have
iny suggestions to make, you can com
municate as before; we will pass nightly
until we have some token from you.
We are two who have sworn to save you.
One of us will ascend to assist you in
your descent, if you desire it. May God
aj whom you have prayed, nerve you to
your task.”
The next night we received the fol
lowing answer:
“I will provide the ladder, which you
will pull toward you with the cord. I
have a trusted eunuch who will assist
me, as his life belongs to me. Think
well of the danger; I have no right to
place you in jeopardy. In case of dis
covery a rope ladder upon you would
prove your guilt; you would be seized
anil disposed of, none would know how
except tho headsman. Your crime and
mine are punishable by death. My life
is nothing, nor would I lie missed, but
you have loved ones at home. Should
you change your minds on the night ap
pointed, God have mercy upon me! I
will not live to see the light of another
day. I have often meditated this act.
I have felt that God, to whom I have j
always prayed, would deliver me, and j
that I would be allowed to thank him in j
his sanctuary. If you do not find the
cord, you may know that I have been |
betrayed. If all is safe, the cord will j
be weighted with a silken purse contain- |
ing jewels to reward you and to assist in j
my escape. Should you not find this ;
token, it will he because I have been j
discovered. Then be on your guard l
against assassination. I shall not look j
for you until the hour named.”
My friend, Captain H , had fallen j
most desperately in love. I say des- ■
perately, because he neither slept, i
ate nor drank; nor would he give me |
any rest. It was reassuring to me j
to see a fellow so far gone; I hail thought |
myself the only one who could be so ;
“cracked.” He was always at ray heels j
arid had become my shadow. I learned
his whole history. The cause of his go- ,
ing to sea was the removal of a flaxen
haired, blue-eyed schoolmate who had
been his beloved little friend from his ;
earliest memory. Her parents hail re- |
moved to Moscow, and thence, as ho j
was informed, to Odessa, from which ;
port he had last sailed, with a
cargo of grain for Falmouth for orders.
At Odessa he had made the most search- j
ing inquiries, and learned that a family
of the same name had gone to Alexan- ;
dria about six years previous. He had >
been, until our present adventure, re
markably quiet and diffident. He had
told me that his dffidence arose from
the fact that he was almost a woman
hater, and that he never expected to be
happy until he found his early love, *
whom he last saw when she was eleven
and he twelve years of age. His inter
est in the fair captive was doubtless
aroused by the fact that she strongly
resembled his i-arlv love.
The eventful night arrived. I gave a
supper at the hotel to allay any sus
picion. Supper was ordered for twenty,
and was served at eleven o’clock, which
meant an all night spree. Wine flowed
freely,and hail its effect upon our friends
At twelve o’clock, by a preconcerted ar-
MT. VERNON. MONTGOMERY CO., GA., WEDNESDAY, MAY I. 1887.
rnngeniert, a note was bunded to me by
a servant. I protended that it lmd been
sent by mv second officer and that it
announced that my chief officer had
killed one of the crew. Apologizing for
my sudden departure l promised to re
turn as soon as possible and finish tho
night. My fvieml, Captain H , in
sisted upon going with me. 1 protested,
but he was obstinate, and finally, as the
company insisted that it was not safe to
go alone, we twn separated ill company.
We Arrived at the gate in our usual
apparently drunken condition, feed the
guard liberally and passed through. A
few minutes later we returned and lmd
our cigars and lanterns lighted, pre
tending that tho latter had been put
out accidentally. They were so ready
in assisting us that we gave them an
other handful of piasters, and made
them understand that they were not to
allow any one to follow us. They earn
estly promised and we started again,
our hearts almost bursting with rapid
pulsation. We found the cord; a purse
was at the eml of it. So far all was safe.
Running to the farther gate as quick
ly as possible, we repeated our former
strategy of bribes, and the guards there
premised us tlint while we were in the
street nobody should pass them. Thus
we had the field to ourselves, with
guards on either hand to protect us from
interference,
We returned to the Spot where the
purse lay, It was readily discovered liy
reason of its brilliancy, being worked in
gold and silver threads. A stout cord
was attached to it. We pulled gently
upon the cord, and drew down a ladder
made of silk.
The night was dark, not a star risible.
Thus far everything favored us. We
put a strain upon the bidder with both
our weights, to keep it from swaying,
when suddenly we felt a heavy burden
upon it, and in an instant a man in a
white tunic sprang from the ladder and
seized mo by both arms muttering some
thing 1 could not understand. Letting
go Ins iron grip upon me, uc toou me
Captain in the same manner. Then he
sprang upon the ladder anil disappeared.
We were so taken by surprise that we
could not defend ourselves if occasion
had required it. Treachery or not we
did not know, but we stood at our post.
Presently we felt by the strain on the
rope that some one was again descend
ing. This time it was the lady herself.
She sprang lightly to tho ground, and a
moment later came tho man who had be
fore descended. He was her faithful
slave. Fie tell on ins knees, Dogging to
be taken with us. But tliis was impos
sible. He was to be relieved by auothei
guard at four o’clock, and his absence
would have caused the discovery of the
escape. She advised him to return,
close the window, and let go the rope.
She could not be missed until noon,
when it would be impossible to know
during whose watch she had made her
escape. It might be supposed that slip
had committed suicide, as site lmd fre
quently threatened to do, and might
have done so by throwing herself into
the Bosphorus, through the trap in the
floor of a boat house near by.
She did not speak nor evince any ter
ror, but trusted us entirely. As we
heard footsteps rapidly approaching,
and feared pursuit or a meeting with
street marauders, we lost no time in
reaching the gate. The guard openei
it immediately. The word “American’
had a charm for them, • specially us il
was followed by a handful of piaster
thrown at them when the gate win
opened. I presume, they imagined wi
did it in our drunken fun, but it wai
really to draw their attention from om
companion. After We had passed
through 1 locked the gate and threw
away the key. The guards were tin
busy picking up the money to heed n
thundering at the gate after we hat
gone on. We did not reach our boats
too soon, for we could hear mutterin'
voices and tramping feet close behind
us. With muffled oars we pulled for
my friend’s brig. We had proceeded
not more than fifty yards from the shore,
when we heard our pursuers jumping
into boats at the landing. Who tiny
were we eoulil not tell, but they hail net
the customary lights with them to indi
cate that they were honest citizens. Tim
extreme darkness favored our flight
among the many vessels anchored in the
harbor, most of which lmd their anchor
lights up. My friend’s vessel had two
lights in the main rigging as a private
signal. These were put out as soon as
we reached the deck.
Entering the cabin we again saw the
face of the lady. As I have Indore said,
he was tlie most beautiful woman I h*il
ever seen. I could not help feeling tint
my friend was not the handsome fellow
that deserved to be united to such love
liness -yet the gods mated Venus a»d
Vulcan. The Swedish captain '.ius
speechless with admiration. I acted as
his ambassador and informed her how
desperately in love he was, and that he
was determined to save her or lose bis
life in the attempt. She v.as now fan
to act for herself, but I was sure that if
she married him she would have a lov
ing huslianrl. As I hail In-en concerted
in her rescue from captivity, I felt it my
right as well as my duty to urge her to
accept him. She did not utter a word,
but remained perfectly passive. I ad
rise.l him to leave till; cabin and get his
ship under way at once. My boat’s
crew would assist him. The vessel must
be outside the harbor. I said, before dar-
“SUB DEO FACIO FORTITER."
light, ami before sunrise be well into tho
S»a of Marmora. Anil so we parted.
It was t hree o’clock when I reached my
ship. Sloop was out of the question.
Tho events of the previous few days
were like a dream out of which I had
just awakened. The consequences
might have been serious (o me. But I
was always ready for adventures, anil
lmd been in many Predicaments equally
hazardous. J lived, as nil young sailors
live, on romance amt during. The ex
oitement. of this occasion was as \liil
orating to me us champagi ■ is to tho
wine-bibber.
In the morning T was visited by several
of the captains who had boon my guests
of the night before. They him felt
some fear for our safety when they
learned that a conflict had taken place
between the guard in tho street wo hail
passed through and a hand of Greek
robbers. Two of the robbers bad been
killed. These must have been our pur
suers, who, after wo had eluded them,
hail returned and attacked the guard.
They were overpowered by a company
of soldiers from the fort, w ho were mak
ing their rounds to relieve the guard.
Os course I knew nothing of what had
lieeonio of the Swedish captain. I as
sured them that he went safely on board
and was to lilt VO sailed at sunrise, anil
thak, as the wind was fresh and fair, I
supposed ho was off. 1 feigned ail at
tact of rheumatism os an excuse for not
going ashore that day. Tho following
day lUif consul, hearing l was sick,
came on board. From him I learned
that one of the wives of tho paclia of the
army had made her escape by the aid,
it warn supposed, of the Greek robbers,
some of whom had been captured and
would be executed unless they told
where their companions and the captive
could be found. It was supposed that
she was held for ransom. A rigid search
was made on board all the Greek vessels,
of which there were many lying in the
harbor, but of course tho missing lady
was not found.
Our consul, I think, had his suspi
cions as to the manner of the lady’s es
cape from the palace. Ho asked me to
dine with him, saying that I, l>cing a
person so well known in Peru, would be
missed if I did not go ashore and show
myself at my usual resorts. I took his
uiiviee and dined with him, remaining
all night at the consulate, which ho in
sisted upon my making my home for tho
rest of my stuy. Ho was too much of a
gentleman to question mo, whatever ho
may have thought, and 1 deemed it ad
visable, because of his official position,
to keep him in ignorance of my part in
the affair.
Though not pertinent to this voyage,
I will here give the sequel to this ad
venture. Nine years later, while in com
mand of the olipper ship Droadnuught,
arriving in New York one day, I made
fast at my usual berth at the foot of Rec
tor street, w hen Captain Hope, a Bundy
Hook pilot, who was harbor master at
the time, boarded my vessel and told me
that a Swedish brig was lying at Pier 8,
and that her captain was very anxious to
meet mo before ho sailed. Tho Con
stantinople episode had nearly passed
from my mind in the exciting years that
lmd intervened. As soon as our gang
plank was hauled ashore, a lady and
gentleman came on board. 1 was stand
ing on the quarter deck with some cus
tom house officers and passengers. Tho
lady, whom I immediately recognized,
came forward and embraced me with
much warmth, and the gentleman fol
lowed suit. The pleasure attending this
happy meeting was shared by all who wit
nessed it. It is needless to say that the
pair were, the Swedish captain anil the laity
whom I had assisted to escape from Oon
stantinople. That truth is indeed stran
ger than fiction is here exemplified. Atter
leaving Constantinople their joy was un
speakable upon discovering that they
had been lovers in their childhood. She
was the flaxen-haired girl for whom my
friend hod pined so long. When they
parted as children her family went to
Moscow, where they remained several
years, anil where she had tin ai r luge
of an excellent education and became a
proficient linguist. Her great beauty
attracted universal attention. She was
courted by many but won by none. Her
father received the appointment of con
sul at Odessa, but lie gave up tliis place
and they migrated to Alexandria, where
he bi eumo a grain exporter. This fre
quently necessitated journeys into the
interior of Egypt, and his beautiful
daughter was liis constant companion.
During one. of these excursions their
caravan was assaulted by Arabs. The
men were slaughtered and robbed, anil
the women wore disposed of among the
chiefs. She fell to the lot of one who
sold her into the harem whence she was
rescued by us. When the pair arrived
at. Falmouth, after the rescue, they were
married, anil sailed for Antwerp, where
some of her jewels were disposed of to
purchase the brig which ho commanded
when they paid their visit to me on
board the Dreoilnaught. They had
sailed together around the world, but
this was their first voyage to New York.
Colonel Graham, now clerk of the Court
of Common Pleas, was custom house
officer in charge of my ship at that
time, and be lives to bear witness that
he hears this remarkable tale told in my
cabin by the Swedish captain at that
time. My friend, the captain, Inis since
sold the vessel, and retired from sea life
to business on shore in one of our east
ern towns . From tin' Forecastle t/> the
Cabin, by Captain H. Samuels (Harper's).
A policeman fired at a fleeing burglar
the other day, and the latter’s life was
saved by the bullet hitting a button on
the rcur of his coat arid glancing off.
Now m know why those two buttons
arc j>ut on a coat behind.
A Montana woman killed an Indian
while shooting at a dog. Knowing their
natural propensity for wild and erratic
marksmanship, women should coniine
their practice to stone throwing, as being
less dead) y tliau bullets.
THE JOKERS’ BUDGET.
REST WE FIND IN THE PAPERS.
His Wife was ivilh Him When Wo
men Vote —Did not Refuse—The
Twig—Parted -Oilils ami Ends.
Etc,, Etc.
SHE DIDN’T RFFtSE.
A tv/vf fifth who keeps a boarding liouso
on Earned street enlli’il nt police lieml
quarters yesterday, to complain (hut n
gentleman hoarder had skipped her
house, leaving a bill unpaid.
“He owes me about forty dollars and
I want him caught,” she added.
“What kind of a person was ho?”
asked the Sergeant .
“Well, the day before he went away
he offered to marry me to settle the bill.
You can judge what cheek he has.”
“And you refused ?”
“Yes—no no, I didn’t 1” sho ex
claimed, as she blushed dear back to
her ears. “It was all settled that we
should be married, anil t hat’s one reason
why I’ll pursue him to the ends of the
earth. A man who’ll jump a board bill
and a marriage engagement, too, is an
outlaw who should be locked up.”—De
troit Free Press.
WHEN WOMEN VOTE.
Wlum women shall rule l>y the ballot.
Which they hope to attain soon or Into,
How grand will hoiiiul President Flossie,
Ain I Mumio (Department of State) !
How dignified Gertie anil Winnio
Will sit in their Cabinet, chairs,
Anil Gnssie, and Billie and Kiltie
Transact Governmental iilTium!
How majestic will Chief Justine Bertie
Inspire with judicial awe
Sweet Itoxie, anil Sadie and Myrtle,
The learned expounders of law !
And when the great General Mol lie
Witli lier troops at tho battle arrives,
Her mime will strike fear to the terrified foo
And they’ll turn and run for their lives !
Till Bits.
NO EXTRA SESSION.
"My dear,” said a Congressman to his
daughter, at breakfast. "Wasn’t young
Brown hero Inst night until twelve
o’clock?”
“Yes, papa,” sho replied with a pretty
little blush.
“Well, my dear, you should not per
mit. it. It, lias been that way for seven
teen nights, hasn’t it ?"
“Yes, pupa.”
“Don’t you know that is hardly tho
proper thing?”
“Yes, papa.”
“Then why do you do it?” ho asked,
impatiently.
“Because, papa I expect to go away
next week, anil I am rushing the, busi
ness so that there will not have to be an
extra session.”— Washington Critic.
ADVANTAGE OP A TOWN CLOCK.
Portage (Wis.) Girl—“Oh, you Omaha
girls haven’t any spunk. Why don’t
you form a mutual improvement society
like we did ?"
Omaha Girl —“Why, what hits your
society accomplished ?”
“Well, we held fairs and did all sorts
of tilings until we got enough funds to
purchase a town clock. When it strikes
it can be heard everywhere.”
“Os all things! What good lias that
done you ?”
“Good ? Why our mothers can’t set
the clocks iihoutf when they see a young
man coming in the gate!”— Omaha
WorUi.
HIS WIPE WAS WITH HIM.
“Ho you’ve been out West?” he
queried of a citizen who returned tho
other day.
“Yes.”
“Lots of snow out there?”
“Millions of acres: f was snow
bound on a train for fifteen hours.
There were twenty-two ballet girls in my
car.”
“And your wife was with you ?”
“Alas? yes.”
“Great Hcott! but how you must hnvo
suffered I”— Arlcansaio Traveler,
SHOWING SOLICITUDE.
Father (To family physician). “Isn’t
George Sampson a relative of yours,
doctor?”
Family Physician. “Yes, lie is a
nephew.”
Father. “He wants my daughter,
but I gave him to understand that she
wouldn’t get any of my money until
after rny death.”
Family Physician. “That was right.
George was asking about your health to
day.”
AS THE TWIG IS BENT, ETC.
“How does it happen, Mose, that you,
being an orthodox Jew. have employed
a Christian wet nurse for your eld 'd ?”
asked Kosciusko Murphy of Mose
Schaumburg.
"Murphy, I dell you how flat was.
You know we Chews get our living from
dose Schentilcs. ”
“I am aware of the fact.”
“Veil, I hires dot Schentile vet nurse
so dot my little offspring can pegin
easily to get hisdotvay.”— Texas Siftings.
ILL-DESERVED FAME.
Omaha Husband -Well, f told you
my friend DeOranil was a wonderful
man. Now what do you think of him?
Omaha Wife—He’s a fool.
“Fool! Why he is one of the most
famous scientists of the day.”
“He’s a bom idiot.”
“How can vou talk so?”
“He thougnt tliis precious little treas
ure was a tioy arid she’s most a month
old.” — Omaha World.
A HINT.
Mrs. Fortuneseeker hail been hinting
to Judge 8., who is old and rich, that
her daughter would make him a good
and loving wife.
“She is vary much in love with you,
Judge,” said the lady, suggestively.
“I am sorry, but I cannot reciprocate
the affection of u young lady who shows
such bad taste,” replied the old Judge,
reaching for his hat and cane.— Shoe and
Leather Reporter,
VOL. 11. NO. 9.
A CANDID PEDAGOGUE.
father of Stupid Boy—“ Professor, I
want von to teach this hoy German and
i French."
Professor—“ Why do you want tho
! Germans and French to know what an
ass ho is? Isn’t it enough that the Eng
lish speaking races should know it?”
Texas Siftings.
A CASE OF NECESSITY.
Minister (to hoy who is digging for
worms' —“Little 1 toy, don’t you know
| rnmn iv is wrong to work on Sunday, ex
cept in eases of necessity?,’
Hoy (going on with his digging)—
"This is a ease of necessity. A feller
| jun'fc go lishin’ ’thout hait.”— Lift.
IN THE nOTTDE.
Judge—“Ho, Patrick, you beat your
I wife?”
Prisoner —Yis, yer honor, but I was
drunk.”
“You should try and sober up.”
“Share I am afraid to sober up.”
“Wlint arc you afraid of?”
“Me woife, sir; whin I’m sober she
bates me.” —Tims Siftings.
TJIUOWN IN.
Coal Dealer: "Where’s John?”
1 )rivcr: “He staid up to Mr. Brown’s.”
Coal Dealer: “Why on earth did he
do that ? Doesn't ho know we’re short
handed?”
Driver: “I suppposo ho does, sir,
hut lie said he was weighed in with his
load, and lie had an idea he belonged to
Mr. Brown.”
HE WAS POSTED.
"What is the leading branch in your
school ?” asked a lady of a teacher.
Before the teacher could vouchsafe
reply, a little boy intorupted the con
versation with:
“1 know 1”
“And what is it little boy?” asked the
lady.
“That switch in the corner, ma’am.”
HIAWATHA.
Ho killed flits nolilo Mii'ljnkms,
With this skin ho made him inittcna.
Made them with tho fur Hide inside.
Made them with tho okin Hide outsido;
Ho, to got tho warm side inside,
I ’lit tho inside skin side outside;
He, to get tho eold Hide outside,
1 ‘ut the ivurm side fur side inside,
That’s why in put the fur side Divide,
Why h put tile skill side outside.
Why he turned them inside outside.
The Irrepressible Hoy.
On the morning train bound for Albany
come a limn with one of those irrepress
ible boys, whoso little tongue was bound
to wobble, even if all tho planets of tho
universe were obliged to halt until his
closed lips betokened that he had givon
up the floor.
Question after question rolled out in a
sharp falsetto tone that could bo dis
tinctly heard half way through the car.
Candy, apples, oranges mid figs were
supplied him by the embarrassed parent
with a hope of closing his little mouth
for a brief time, at least. Finally, after
he had devoured a big orange, hostar f lod
his father with tlm following:
“Say, par, yer’l mind mar, and ot
got drunk this time I’m with yer, rot t
ye?”
Tho parent seized the lad by the .Tin,
and the fleet ness with which lie yanked,
him through the rear ear do?: would
have done credit to Maud S.—
Times.
Too Dignified by Hair.
Writing lines is the penance Harrow
schoolboys do for all their sins, in and
out of school. If a boy is late for school,
he writes lines; if lie misses “biil,” ho
writes lines. If the lines are not lmish
ed at a stated time, their number is dou
bled. Thorn was one clever boy who
escaped writing half the ordered quan
tity; and the masters tell the story of
how he did it to this day. He was an
untidy boy and was often taken to bisk
for his carelessness and disorder. One
i day, says M. Nicholns , his master, wiio
j had very dignified and impressive man
; ners, and who always said “we” instead
of “you” when talking to the lioys, found
' occasion to reprove him.
“We do not look very clean,” he said,
: with some severity. “We have not
washed our hands this morning. Havo
wo?”
“I don’t know about yours,” was the
; impudent boy’s answer, “but I’ve wash
ed mine.”
“Ah!” said the master, “we are very
impertinent to-day. We will have to
1 write a hundred lines 1 adore the next
[ ‘bill.’”
When “bill” time came, the master
! scut, for the boy.
“ Have we written our lines?” he ask
ed.
“I’ve written my fifty,” the boy an
! swered very promptly, handing in his
| paper; “but f don’t know whether you’ve
done your half!”
A.vorn eii curious case of apparent
sensation in a member of the body after
it bad been amputated comes from
Florida. George W. Clay’s aim was
amputated, put in a box and buried.
Soon afterward he began to complain
that the fingers of tho buried hand woie
| cramped and that there was sand be
tween them. His physician and his
j sister had the box dug up and opened,
and found the fingers cramped and the
| aand between, just as George had said.
They arranged the arm properly and re
buried it. Clay said that wliile they
were gone he felt an awful pain in the
amputated arm, and then came a sensa
tion of great relief, and there wna no
longer tho old cramped sensation in the
hand.
‘OndT think, mv friend, I dreamed
last night that you had paid me the ono
hundred florins you owe me, and that I
hail them in my purse.” “Ah! how
l charming. That encourages me to ask
you to lend me another fifty florins.”