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CONDENSED STORIES.
Whan She Got the Cr.it Thit Wn
“So FuII of Significance."
Here’s a good itory told about
Lady Colebrooke, that prominent
Englishwoman who riaited the
Whitneya laat winter. Lady Cole
brooke is of the pell known Paget
family. Lord Colebrooke’s ances
tors are equally aristocratic, and the
Colebrooke crest is a rampant lion,
three doves over the head and a
wolf coucbant above all. It is an
slaborate affair. When Lady Cole
brooke was dining out with one of
the opulent hostesses of Long Island
she glanced casually at the dinner
service, every bit of which was duly
embossed with a crest. She was ac
customed to heraldic china and did
not at onco inspect the design mi
nutely. Later in the evening, to
her great surprise, she became aware
that the Colebrooke crest was upon
all of ligr hostess’ dinner service.
"Where did you get this crest ?’’ she*
exclaimed impulsively. The hostess
replied unconcernedly: “Isn’t it a
pretty one? I picked it out when
wo furnished this house. It woe the
prettiest I could find, and those dear
little doves, I think, are so full of
significance.” Lady Colebrooke mur
mured sadly, “So full of signifi
cance.”—New York Press.
Mascagni's 8arcasm.
During the last dress rehearsal at
tho Metropolitan Opera House of
Mascagni’s Jnjinneso opera, “Iris,”
which was produced last autumn for
the first time in America, Mascagni,
who was conducting the orchestra,
was greatly annoyed by the lucttcv
tive performance of one of the sing
er* in a particular scene. The pas
sage was a very intense one—a love
aceno between tho chief reprobate
and tho heroine.
“Do not move so timidly I Stand
farther to tho right 1 Play with
more vigor! Morocolorl More va
riety 1” shouted the composer above
the surgo of the music.
The unfortunato actor, thorough
ly discomfited, went from bad to
worse in his impersonation and now
was singing almost continually out
of tunc. Tho esnsperated composer
could stand it no longer. lie stop
ped the orchestra and beckoned the
singer down to the footlights.
“Since all other methods for mak
ing the passage effective seetn to
San Francisco is still repeating
and laughing over the bonmots
Bishop Potter let drop on the oc
casion of his visit to that city two
years ago to attend the Episcopal
cowvention.
At that time tha citizens were
vary much astir because the famous
eastern bishop was to be a visitor
within their gates, and they vied
with one another to honor their
guest. The bishop was kept busy
declining the invitations that he had
not time to accept. But ona invita
tion thrf' he did avail himself of
was to occupy tha magnificent resi
dence of William Crocker, one of the
millionaire families of which Mrs.
Francis Burton Harrison and Mrs.
Alexander are eastern representa
tives.
The houso is a showy one, situat
ed upon Nob hill, where the early
California millionaires built their
homes, so it is a "show place." It
came to have a double interest when
it was occupied by the bishop. One,’
day a San Franciscan was sltowini
the group of residences to a friem
who was visiting in the city. As
they approached the “Will Crocker"
home ne spang the treasured
which he had been saving ..for’ the
right moment. “This,” said he,
with a flourish, “ia Mr. Crocker’s
Pottery.”
Ho did not recognize the gentle
man who was at that moment de
scending tho steps. It was the bish
op, who could not lelp overhearing
and who had a twinkle in his eye.
“I bog pardon for correcting yew,”
ho said, ‘out you are mistaken. This
is Iiishop Potter’s Crockery.”—
Washington Star.
Time to Loam.
One of the latest stories of the
strange reasoning of negroes comes
from J. II. Stoddart, tho veteran
actor, and is of an incident he wit
nessed in Louisiana on a tour
through that part of the couni
“I nad an afternoon lay off in
this Louisiana town,” said- the ac
tor, “and with nothing to do roam
ed about the place. Fnially I got
to tho courthouse and went in. A
negro trial was on, and a typical old
darky was one of the witnesses. He
was fixing tho time of the occur
rence of the troublo and said it was
half past 3 in the afternoon.
“ ‘How do you know it was half
put 3?’ demanded the lawyer for
the other side.
“ ‘Why, I—I knowed it wu half
put 3 by mv watch. I knowed it,’
stammered the darky.
“‘Can VOU tell time?’ demanded
the lawyer.
“ ‘Sure, I can tell time,’ answered
the witness.
“‘What time is it now? demand
ed the lawyer, pointing to the clock.
“The darky studied the clock for
a minute; then ho said lie did not
know what timo it was.
"‘But I thought you could tell
time,’ raid the lawyer, with anger.
“‘Welf, I can tell lime, boss, by
my watch,’ said the darky, ‘but I
writ tell no time by no clock.’ ”
What tha Child Wiihid Par Aftsr Hear
ing Papa’s Sermon.
Hand in hand they wandered
among the posies of a New England
garden, a father and hia little girl,
snd the Sabbath peace wu over all.
The father was a clergyman of
the old school, and that morning he
had preached to the quiet country
folk of the wrath of God, and the
tortures of hell, and the fearful
punishment and retribution which a
just and angry Ood sends upon the
children of men. The little child
had listened thoughtfully as he
preached long and earnestly of the
wrath of God and tha tormeuta of
the damned.
The clergyman returned to his
home and walked with his little
among the flowers in his garden. Hi
loved her very dearly, and he pluck
ed the sweetest flowers and gave
them to her and kissed her and led
her footsteps with the gentleness
and tenderness of fatherhood.
. What a Quaker City Girl Knew
About Punctuation.
A Philadelphia schoolgirl said to
her father the other night:
“Itaddy, I’ve got a sentence I’d
like to have you punctuate. You
know something ubout punctuation,
don’t you ?”.
“Yes. a little,’’ said her cautious
parent as he took the slip of paper
she handed him.
This is what he read:
“A five dollar bill flew around the
corner.”-
He studied it carefully and finally
raid:
“Weli, I'd simply put a period
after it, like this.”
“I wouldn’t,” said the I
girl. “I'd make a dash a
Public- Is-dger.
AigelablePreparaiionfor As
similating UieFoodondBegula-
Ung the Stomachs and Bowels of
—
iker”i »
J°k»« A*
tha
rICASTORIA
For Infanta and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Ons Thing Clark Forgot
A call for a minister was about
to be issued in Champ Clark’s home
town in Missouri, says the Washing
ton correspondent of the New York
World. It was made, and when the
. minister arrived the church commit-
have failed,*’ he remarked sarcas- tee found the minister and llcpre-
ticallv in his most scrupulous Ital- j scutativc Clark wero old school-
ian, “suppose you try singing it on 1 mates. They went to him and ask-
tlio key?"—Harper's Weekly. | cd him about the new minister.
| “He’s n good man,” said' Mr.
Plenty In it I Clark. “He will infuse new life
The discussion of bribery lias into the church and is one of the
served to recall the reply which j most sociable fellows I over met.
In
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
CASTORIA
CENTAUM AOMPANV. I
He—Are you good at conun
drums?
She—Yes.
He—Well, here is one: “If I were
to prop&e to you, what would you
•ay?”
Powsr of Expression Gone.
_ “Was your French chauffeur se
riously hurt in that automobile ac
cident?”
“Yea; he wts knocked practically
speechless."
“Speechless? How?’
^ “Shoulder dislocated; can’t
Hot Purgatory.
“But aurely,” protested the lately
departed Boston girl, “yon are not
going to take me to the—er—in
fernal regions."
“Only for a few seconda,” replied
the attendant apirit. “We must thaw
you out a little.”—Town Topics.
The Foxy Daughter.
Ethel—Do you spend all of your
allowance ?
Grace—No; I always save a little.
The thrift of it pleases father so
much that he always gives me some
thing extra at tho end of the month!
Detroit Freo Press.
George T. Anthony once made to
politician who was disposed to
“graft.” Mr. Anthony was about
to relinquish an office and was ap
proached by the man who was to
succeed him, who wanted to know
how much the office was worth. Mr.
Anthony replied that it paid $3,000
a year.
“I know that is tho salary,” insist
ed the inquirer, “but what else is
there in it V”,
“Well,” said Anthony, looking his
interrogator directly in the eve,
"there’s $3,000 a year and-tho peu-
He is eloquent, tells a good story
of the right kind and will be quite
an addition to our town.”
The committee started to leave,
feeling very good over having made
such an excellent selection, when
Clark called them back, saying:
“Oh, 1 forgot to tell you that Dr.
Blank is fierce when ho gets drunk.
There’s no handling him when he
drinks.”
A Humorous Sheriff.
Jack Steel used to be sheriff down
“tin;re's $3,000 a rear and-tho pen- | n . Representative Dougherty’s dis-
itemiurv in it for am- man Uo ‘riot m Missouri, and Mr. Doughcr-
wants to work it for nil it is worth.” ,hls lum:
_____ “Ihe count}* judge was a man
weighing .TOO pounds. Steel, who
Two Kind. ‘" Dancer*. Wep t the.local hotel, summoned «
The Ret. Reginald Campbell qt , for , , and not one of the
thofxmdon City temple during hiti; woi hed ^ than 250 pounds,
visit to America said a number of t)n the CrSt case called Steel fed the
amusing things. One or them con- jurvmen , dinncr con9isting o( p i cn .
cerntHl dancing A voung girl asked 1 of onioc , butt enailk and other
Dr. Campbell if he d.d not considet ' rific foo ^_ with the rc8U l t that
dancing graceful. in the afternoon all of them and the
“Professions 1 dancing,” he re- judgc went to ,) wp .
plied, “is, 1 admit, graceful enough ; .. -Sheriff.’ said the judge on awak
in some cases But what is there o , nin „ < thia tout j, 'here for busj-
grace in the dancing of amateurs 1 - neM * In fatu „ j vut yoa to sc
A man and a woman, cloae Together, lect , j u „ ^th a single eya to jus-
spin solemnly about a room. The
man’* long black coat tails flap.
Bach persona always look to mo *»
if they had been hired to dance an?
were doubtful if they would go
paid.” *
tice.’
•Yes, your honor,’ eniwered
Steel.
“Ihe next penel summoned con-
i listed entirely of one eyed men.”
No ImprovomonL
“It’s impossible for me to think
end operate the typewriter at the
same time,” said the humorist.
“Huh!” exclaimed the editor.
“Then .you are uo better off than
when you used a pen.” — Denver
News.
Noval Engagement.
Ho—I see another naval engage
ment ia reported.
She—More lighting?
Ho—I suppose so. The captain
ia engaged to the. rear admiral’s
daughter.—Yonkers Statesman.
Truly Heroic.
“Ho had a play produced by an
amnteur company the other night, I
believe. Who was the hero of it, do
you know ?”
“I was one. I sat through it.”—
Philadelphia Ledger.
Intotlig.neo.
Once upon a time a dog cams
upon a man eating what lie liked,
regardless.
“His intelligence is almost ca
nine!” exclaimed the dog, growling.
—Puck.
Lot Him Down Easy.
Father — Can George support
you?
Daughter — He’ll try it Yon
might put our allowance on a dimin
ishing scale.—Cleveland Leader.
Easy Mothed.
Young Author—When I write-
far into the night I find great dif
ficulty in getting to sleep.
Friend—Why don’t yon read over
what you hart written?—Princeton
TSgar.
Site—I see by the papers that a
woman has got successfully through
the bankruptcy court.
He—Great Scolt! The women
are crowding the men out of every
profitable business nowadays.
Tho Cheerful Giver.
“Ya-aa, bre’ren,” said Brier Jas
per as he closed the book, “do Lawd
Iub de cheerful giver. Las’ Sun’y
Brier Jenkins dun gib 50 cents to
pay fo’ whitewoshin’ de pastoris
fence, an’ de Lawd lub him so ha
dun took him home to glory today.”
—New Ynvlr Tim—
A New Ailment.
Dickey—Ma, what do they call
that old preacher “doctor” for?
Mother—Why, my son,-he ia a
doctor of divinity.
Dickey—Well, I’d like, to-know
what kind of a disease that is.—Lip-
pincott’s. j
Taking an Interest
“You think that every young man
ought to tako an interest in poli
tics?”
“Certainly,” answered Senator
Sorghum, “if he'can buy it cheap
enough.”—Washington Star.
Hit Peculiar Dutloa.
“Yes, he’s the reviser of plays for
the syndicate.”
“What does he do?’
“Cuts out all the dialogue and
puts in girls and electric lights.”—
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
World’s Fair Rates
Via L. & N. R. R.
Excursion tickets. r now on sale Daily from
Waycross to St. Louis and Return
.$37,60 Return limit December 15.
Sl.tO' Return limit 60 days.
25.60 Return limit 15 days.*
Return limit Ten Days from date of Sale.
Tickets Sold Tuesdays in July-
Corresponding low Ratre from other pc Inti. The L. & N. R. R. i,the Best
Line to ft outs.*
For t ohednles end sleeping ese reservstions apply to
J. M. FLEMING,
Florida Passenger Agent,
206 West Bay Street,
All His Own.
She—I don’t like you to talk that
way about my mother.
lie—I’m talking about my moth
er-in-law, not yours. I guess I can
talk ns I please about my own.—
Philadelphia Press. '
Dodging the Question.
“Is trade pretty good ?’ we asked
tho greqt merchant.
“Well,” ho replied—a bit evasive
ly, wo thought—“the store is crowd
ed every day with lady shoppers.”—
Syracuse Herald.
lie, Ky.
Jacksonville, Fla
Knows Its Value.
Gildcck—What I told Hobbs is a
close political secret. He won’t givt
it away.
Swifter—Not lie; he’ll sell it to
the opposition.—Yonkers States
man. >
Wall From Wall Street. '
Bullcm—Well, old man, what did
yon realize from your last invest
ment’
Lambly—That I was a chump, as
usual.—Cincinnati Enquirer.
Tho Barefoot Summer Boy*.
Now the weary millionaire
Seeks e rural ranch.
Knvyln 1 the barefoot hoys .
Wadin' In tho bronchi
A barefoot summer boyl
To oao sweet, restful dayl
ONE FULL QUART OF ■
WHISKEY FREE
Lem wouldn't sdulienaltsIf iltsjr lumwflH.
HUM) Moart whisks? sellers am noted for miring, bJHWH
twisting. W«■bUmocvcbihUmoldwhbtoudMiwatertSfi
5
•or grandfather*. BrrtuMwliKtyhioMUIMf loM.O>
and tM pBOplsB* Rational Bank and Uw Piedmont K*Yin?* Hank
ot this city will tell yon oar word 1 snood. To Introdnoo this old,
•orsw and A drinking glass-all for M.M. If *5.90 is sent ws
will doable Um shore and pot in free Om Fall Quart Extra.
Wo h»ro Bom* of this whisker only 1 year* old. And will Brad flro-
gallonkeg for trior will fur»l*h twenty fun qtjsrt bottles on re
ceipt of 111 and giro freo corkscrews, drinking glasses and sam
ples, making this whtak*y coat leas than «.» per Ballon delivered.
Wo ship la plain boxes with no marks to Indicate contents, and
I EDITOR'S NOTE]-B4fora permitting tha shore whisker sdTsrtlramant
gate-1ths firm through their Hanker*. Ws cheerfully estlorw tliem, s
un n««4 But haaiUU to order sample lot.
nhiakiM fur lui J.«*l
* Whore Are You Going*
♦ My pretty maid? I’m goiog to Tybee, Sir she
i r said. And that’s the place where the people are
i (■ going this year to have a good time,
HOTEL TYBEE .
With its many attractions, its fine orchestra, its
' splendid*bathing and its excellent cuisine is the
most popular seaside resort on the South At-
lanticjCoast. Rates, $*.50 per Lty: fia^. ?o
and ^15 00 per week.
\ [ THE^PULASKI HOUSE
Is til, most popular place Id Savannah and ihouldjie yonrjheadquae.
I f ten whin In the city. WRITES FOR ILLUSTRA ED BOOKLET.
CHAS; F. GRAHAM, Prop.
J
Job PrtntlpgJrtS5,"rs
- EVENING HERALD Low prees. First-class work.