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(The Q me iCitizen.
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imTsI T I V E L V 0 A S li.
CITIZEN.
Volume 2.
Waynesboro, Georgia, Friday, July 13tli, 1883.
Number 9,
(The (True (Citizen.
Advertising- Kates >
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per cent, mlilil ionnl.
Notices ninoiiK remilni? mutter 10 cents per
line, endi Insertion,
Not Ices in I,oeiil iV linsiness eolnnin, lic it to
reading, ii cents per line encli Insertion.
All notices will lie ptnrcti ainonu renillnir
matter if not specially onlereil otherwise'.
For terms apply at, tlilsoftlee.
Tin 1 1 islnturt* is literally flood
ed with local hills, besides a vast
number of general bills. There will
lii'uhahly he two bills before them
l>r«>l>(>sinjjr a complete change
(l f tlie mail laws, which it is likely
will he continued, and the best
points in both taken to make a now
law.
The tariff reduction on a number
df articles went into effect on the
first day of July. The reduction on
cjirars and tobacco went into ope
ration months ago. Mean time the
price of nothing seems to have
been effected. The prices rtonain
(he same, and dealers pocket the
gains.
The prospects for a visit from the
vellow fever to our seaport towns
are daily growing more probable.—
Savannah lias established her quar
antine station at Sapelo Island.—
The authorities of our seaport towns
-ccni to be wide awake and active,
and we hope will be able to ward
oil' (lie terrible visitant.
The Macon Telei/raph, of Satur
day, says a well dressed and well
connected lady, in one of the lead
ing dry goods houses yesterday, was
seen taking large quantities of iaee,
gloves, etc. She was followed to
the hotel, and charged with taking
(lie things. She quietly surrender
ed the articles, and the house with
drew its threat of suit. Such in
stances are extremely rare.
l.ll'K’N TUI U. II.Uj.VM'K.
Kvcry Kin must have a tflvor—
Due wlm tfives ami ami om* who tak
There arc l wo banka to every i i ver
(>nc tnat loses, one that makes.
So it is wll.h all who lat#r.
Knell on the oilier must ilepemt—
One may borrow from his neighbor;
Hut to borrow, one must lend.
Why do people growl ami grumble —
< (rumble at the life they lead?
Have not all men, great or humble,
As befits them, all they need?
See the merchant, from his coders,
(ibully buys the farmer’s food;
One receives what th’other oilers,
All in some way can do good.
Now a grief and then a pleasure—
Woe is found in every joy;
As the fold, that precious treasure,
Useless Is, without alloy.
Kv’ry one may have a sorrow—
Kich and poor, and high and lowi
Half the woe we have we borrow,
Thinking that it should he so.
If the sun were always shining,
Surely then the trec’d not grow;
So with us, when we’re repining,
Wo must bear our share of woe.
Life to us is what, we make it —
Dark or bright or sad or gay;
When a pleastre comes, why, take it,
While we hasten grief away.
.Miss Jessie Buckner, soys an ex
change, the handsome young wo
man who figured so conspicuously
in the Thomson Davis tragedy, at
Harrisburg, Ky., several weeks ago,
will leave for Europe in a few days,
and stay, she says, until the homi
cide is forgotten. If she stays till
then, she must remain in Europe
until ul 1 the generations now liv
ing shall bo dead. For until then
will this bloody tragedy be remem
bered.
Down A hi oilfx the llonps
XI\K IM SIIANDS.
A Much Married Donum in Summit (’ounty, O.
The State Railroad Commission
ers have issued “Circular No.
which is more arbitrary than any
of the foregoing .”>8. If the railroad?
are the property of private citizens
it is as just for the State to dictate to
lla> merchant what price lie shall
charge for his goods, or how much
the farmer shall receive for his
produce. An interference with the
private rights anil possessions of
corporations by the State govern
ment, is hut a step from the inter
ference with private individuals in
the same way—and if one is wrong
then both are wrong.
Alfred G. Inman was born and
raised in Burke county, as was also
the woman, his wife, who, it is said,
was killed by him. We do not
suppose old friend Sullivan, of the
Waynesboro Tuff. Citizen, will
attempt to gainsay this in his
frantic endeavors to preserve intact
liurke county’s reputation.— Enian-
ttcl Jtvmizer rid Atlanta Constitu
tion.
brother Sparks is right in locating
the birth place of Inman and his
unfortunate victim; he is also rigid
in “supposing” that “old friend
Sullivan will not attempt to gain
say” that assertion. Tin; Tuff. Cit-
i/.kn sustains the riijlit—“right
wrongs no man.” We arc at a loss
to account for the disposition which
the Itemizin' has lately developed
to growl at The Cm/.iox. It may
he indigestion, or brother Sparks
maybe suffering with some disease
peculiar to children, and while we
cannot diagnos his condition from
a personal examination, we would
advise him to take a course of some
standard liver regulator—it will
settle his bile. Like Cicsnr, we
have only to say to brother Sparks,
“('/ tu Brute!” '
The Butler Herald, under the
caption of “Cowardly Slander,”
grows terribly indignant because
somebody has accused Senator
t'olquitt of crookedness with the
dcfuiict- Home bank. We know
nothing of Colquitt’s transaction
with tlic Home hank, but we do
know that lie deposited large
amounts of the State’s funds in
rotten concerns which failed and
lost to the State hundreds of thous
ands of dollars. We do not know
how much personal benefit, if any,
i olijiiitt derived from these banks,
hid we do know that Colquitt as
sumed llii> gubernatorial chair ac
credited by common rumor, after
sqtunlering two magnificent for
tunes, to In? so poor that his credit
'va. not good for a pair of boots, anil
after the few years he was governor
that same rummor says he Is worth
a miirion dollars. No man
•lUire I hid amount in Unit
lMttslmri? IMspateh.
A letter from Charleston, S. C.,
says; “The chief source of wealth
now to the residents of Charleston
and its vicinity are the inexhausta- j
I>le phosphate deposits, which are
cattored near and far. Having
heard such wonderful accounts of
tin 1 magnitude of this new industry,
and being invited by a large opera
tor in phosphates to visit several
mining districts near the city, 1
sailed from Chislom’s wharf
through Wappooa Cut, and out into
Stono River, a distance of about
fifteen miles. The phosphate wealth
beneath the waters of this river is
said to be limitless, and numerous
companies, employing hundreds of
men and curiously constructed ma
chines, together with tugs, flat-
boats, lifters, dredges, etc., drive an
industry, the profits of which are
refilling rapidly and surely the
depleted coffers of the State, and
injecting new life into her business
arteries, i laving reached the scene
of labor, 1 was amazed at what I
saw. Nothing is more wonderful
than tin 1 modes hero employed in
divesting the waters of their hidden
treasures. A large fiat, upon which
arc fastened complicated machines,
of ungainly look and titanic power,
is anchored in the middle of the
deep, black stream. Huge lifters,
pendant from rafters above, move
their ponderous and capacious jaws
this way and that. Tin* heavy iron
grapples of the machine go down
like living claws, nail emerge from
the water with is gorge of mam
moth petrified bones of extinct an
imals. Jawbones almost as large as
plowshares were brought up. 1 saw
a.suction tube descend, and in a
few minutes return with its freight
of stone and teeth. Koine of those
teeth, I was informed, were the
teeth of sharks, but they are twen
ty times larger than the molars of
any known species of fish now to be
found anywhere.
8omeofthe.se bones are as black
as polished ebony. In a mass of
bones and teeth are imbedded
many curious specimens of fish
skeletons, the physiological struct
ure presenting many remarkable
points. In a dot of crude phos
phate and mud, which was dis
charged near my feet, 1 saw some
thing shiny. Picking it up, it prov
ed to lie a gold coin of the reign of
King George. A subsequent haul
brought up about forty of these old
coins, which are retained ns valua
ble relics. I shall not attempt to
describe all I saw while watching
the process. As fast as the rocks
and petrifactions of fishes and an
imals were emptied from the tubes,
on the flats, they were conveyed to
the factories, where the grinding
machines convert them into fertil
izers. Much of tills rock is ship
ped in its crude state to France,
Hermany, and England, and some
goes to Australia, hut the bulk is
ground here and shipped abroad.
At this season the demand for
the rock is groat, and all the
companies are working their full
force. The price of phosphates are
subject to sharp fluctuations, hut
tlic State always gets her royalty
of H ')ii per ton for all the crude
reek mined. This produces no in
considerable income to the State,
and the revenue thus raised is ap
plied to tlie educational fund.—
Some Idea of the vastness ot this
industry may lie had when 1 state
that one of the companies, and by
no means the most extensive, takes
can ac-j out upon an average 2o tens a day,
time by Those mines of wealth, more profit-
"Mrs. Dyer’s residence is situated
about three miles from Peninsula,
a station on the Valley Road. It is
a common report in the neighbor
hood that the lady has been a bride
mi nine distinct and sepernte occa
sions. The matrimonial reporter of
the Cincinnati Herald started forth
yesterday to seek out and inter
view this polynndrous wife. A few
brief questions to a Peninsula citi
zen brought out the desired pointer
concerning the habitation of Dyer,
and a drive 1 of minutes took the
seeker for truth to her doer. The
house is a weather-beaten old
structure, built on the ancient plan,
with 11 io side towards the road, and
the door midway between the ends,
opening into the company room.—
Mrs. Dyer, who responded to the
rap, was not the vision of loveliness
tin 1 young man had traveled ?•">
miles to see. She is appearently—
about fit) years of age—no exact da
ta upon this point was obtained—
and looks as if she would comfort
ably survive her last annexation,
and acquire a tenth, the more espe
cially as Mr. Dyer is not extremely
stalwart, and liable to chip out of
the game at any time. As was in
timated, there is nothing surpris
ingly beautiful about Sirs. Dyer.—
She does not impress one as being
possessed of sufficient attractive
ness to beguile mere than two men
into committing matrimony, yet
before the interview was ended she
exhibited seven marriage licenses
and two certificates which serve
much the same purpose as do ab
stracts of title where real estate is
transferred, preserving the lady’s
identity. The presence of the two
certificates she explained by in
forming her caller that she mar
ried two of the deceased in Penn
sylvania, in which State no license
is required. In the conversation,
the young man was given a brief
biographical sketch of every one of
llii' eight who had gone before,
tlic recital being illustrated with
portraits of the gentlemen.
Cynthia Boardmnn was first led
to the altar a blushing bride of “A
years ago. "William Rawlins, a
skipper of a canal boat, was the hap
py man. lie did not live long to
enjoy bis good fortune, for one
bright May day, just as a prospe
rous boating season had opened.
Captain Rawlins’ lead mule kicked
him into the ditch, and lie sank be
neath tlie muddy waters of the
“raging” not to rise again until el
evated by means of a stone derrick.
The widow, after a proper season of
mourning, was again wooed, and
attached her fortunes to tlmso of
Henry Ladd, whom sin 1 had em
ployed to run the boat after Raw
lins’ fatal bath. One night Ladd
was brushed off the hurricane deck
by a bridge north of Boliver level,
and the mules went into Navarre
with mi man at tlie helm. Tlie boy
who slumbered as lie rude, had not
missed the Commodore, and not
until the ditch was dragged two
days later was the question of the
mode of his departure settled. Mrs.
Ladd shortly afterward went to
"Western Pennsylvania to visit a
relative, and while there was mar
ried to John Henderson, a cooper.
The fiitcd John made but few bar
rels afterwards, and in two short
months his grave was seeded down.
The relict concluded her visit, and
returned to her Ohio home. Will-
liam Johnson was the next candi
date. lie was accepted, and sur
vived for n period of nine years.—
lie was buried at Hudson, and Mrs.
Johnson, undismayed by the decay
of her hopes, was united in mar
riage to one James Dixon, of Sha-
lersvillo. He and the onnnl boat,
which had become rather ancient,
and with the proceeds and the per
sonal estate of Johnson, bought the
farm which Mrs, Dyer now culti
vates, James seen followed his
predecessors, and became a mem
ber of the angelic choir, After fol
lowing him to the grave, the bereft
wife made another Journey to
Pennsylvania, where she changed
her name to the more euphonious
and waste gates, are unknown.—
The widow Tipton went hack to
the farm and started a youthful
crayon artist on the road to afflu
ence by giving him an order for
pictures of her husbands. Tlie con
tract was taken at wholesale rates,
and the money for which Tipton’s
boat was sold settled the bill.—
Surrounded by the counterfeit
presentments of her beloved dead,
the frequent widow, who had never
been a mother, waited for thi* new
candidate to come her way. Dyer
was blown in by the heav^ storm
of eighteen hundred and eighty.—
He was not so popular as many of
her former husbands. “But,” said
Mrs. 1). “I was gettin’ too old to lie
partickler, and 1 took him.”
“lie doesn’t appear to be in good
health,” ventured the reporter, as
he arose to leave, casting a com
passionate eye on tlie devoted Dyer,
who was wrestling with a scythe in
rank first growth.
“No, (feorge isn’t overly stout,
and I reckon his pictor’ll soon go
along with the.rest on ’em,” replied
Mrs. Dyer, glancing proudly at the
crayons around tlie room.
and glossy, and easily confined in a
small space, one six foot feather
that tlie reporter obtained being
easily rolled around his finger, and
then, on release it resumed its for
mer length and appearance. Tlie
troupe leaves for New York to day
under escort of Mr. Bailey, Harnum’s
partner, who came to meet them
yesterday. They open in New
York about the middle of July, in
conjunction with the various for
eign performers now with Barnuin,
and will not show here before their
return at the expiration of their
two year’s contract.
Ktmigfl Visitors.
Sun Francisco Chronicle.
Among the Oceanic’s passengers,
Thursday night, were Phil H. Kir
by and James B. Gaylord, curiosity
agents for Harnum’s show and their
latest novelties in the shape of a
troupe of two Burmese and fourteen
Japanese. The latter include five
dancing girls four wrestlers, and
five jugglers, top spinners and ac
robats. All were domiciled at the
Occidental hotel, where they were
visited by a Chronicle reporter last
evening, and found to be donning
their holiday attire for a visit to
tlu 1 Baldwin Theatre. Through the
kindness of Mr. Kirby their depart
ure was delayed for a few minutes
and a brief inspection permitted.—
The girls range from fifteen to
eighteen years of age, and are all
handsome with a lazy, sensuous air
that is charming in the extreme.—
Only one appeared to be vivacious,
and she chattered at the reporter
through Mr. Kirby, as interpreter,
at a cheerful rate, that seemed
to greatly amuse her sedate sisters.
Their opinions of the country, so
far as seen, are highly flattering,
the “glorious,” etc., coming in for a
fair share of praise.
In form they excell their Europe
an and American sisters, and any
one of the five might pass as a
model for a diminutive brunette
Venus. Their dance commences
like (lie Nantcli girls, with a show,
poetic movement, full of graceful
waves and undulations, gradually
increasing with tlie volume of the
music produced by one of their
number, until tlie dancers are in a
perfect frenzy, which "lasts until the
dance is ended with a sudden stiff-
ening of the limbs which leaves the
performer completely exhausted.—
Tlie five are nearly all from Kioto,
and arc the first Japanese girls of
the kind ever brought to the Union.
All the other members of the
troupe are under two years engage
ment to Barnuin, Bailey & Co.—
The most prominent member of it
is Koken, a juggler, who does some
astonishing tricks, and although lie
is 1 »ul eighteen years old, is one of
Twlpirs County “DIuiiioiiiIn.”
Telegraph anil Messenger.
A number of tlie pebbles found on
Mr. John A. Nelson’s plantation, in
Twiggs county, have been brought
to me for examination, and my
opinion as to their character has
been asked by several persons, who
have an interest in the subject. The
following article contains, in some
what more full details, the answers
I have given. As the belt of drift
extends across the whole State, tlie
subject may att ract attention else
where.
There is a well known line, run
ning across Georgia, from Columbus,
through Macon and Milledgeville
to Augusta. It divides the pine
from the oak lands, and marks the
lower falls on the streams. Tills
line runs eastward from Georgia,
through Columbus, Fayetteville,
Richmond, Washington City and
Baltimore, westward it passes
through or near Montgomery, Tus
caloosa, Jackson, Vicksburg, and
througli Louisiana and Texas. It
divides the pine and oak along tlie
whole route,and in the old maps its
passage across the large rivers was
indicated by an anchor, to show the
“head of navigation.” This “head
of navigation” located the cities
just named in those days before
railroads.
Along this line and ton to twenty
miles to the south of it is a singular
geological belt of sand, pebbles,
pipe clay, iron ore and “paint rocks.”
The land is usually poor, hilly, and
tlie hills are sometimes capped with
a ferruginous sandstone. Tlie rail
road from Columbus to Macon and
thence to Augusta runs for the
great part on this belt.
A peculiarity of tlie beds of peb
bles found everywhere along this
belt is that they are rounded and
of hard material. They look like
they have been rolled over and
over in water, until every rough
edge has been rubbed off. No soft
rocks, as limestone, granite, etc.,
have been found. They have been
worn away to clay and sand in the
violent attrition. The pebbles aro
generally some form of quartz-
flints, agate, jasper, etc. The writer
lias received beautiful polished
pebbles of porphyry from Hancock
county, and lias picked up a worn
crystal of tourmaline on the college
campus.
The extent of those beds of peb
bles is simply immense. On tlie
hills in and around Macon alone
there are enough to load all the
ships in America. Many persons
will recall the hills of such pebbles,
at Petersburg, Richmond, Baltimore
and Columbus, Ga. Some of the
pebbles are of transparant quartz
tlic most celebrated men of his’"'^ l * n > r °bed and dull on the
class in Japan. His feats with
swords are simply miraculous. The
wrestlers are powerful built young
fellows, whose style Is very close
to tin 1 catch as catch can in preva
lence among Europeans. The two
Burmese are priests who were orig
inally engaged as the attendants of
two sacred or white elephants pur
chased by M r. Gaylord for Barnuin,
but which he was unable to get out
of the country, owing to the preju
dice against allowing the worship
ed beasts to fall into the hands of a
foreigner.
All sacred elephants are required
to have a priest for an attendant,
and these Burmese were the at
taches of the two elephants pur
chased by Mr, Gaylord, Both,
however, were said to have been
poisoned by the Siamese in prefer
ence to allowing them to leave the
Maybury. The happy pair moved country, one dying at Singapore
to Indiana. Wabash ague shook ! and the’other at Penang. The ears,
out the life of Mr. Jacob Maybury I trunks and tusks of the two
honest means. Let our respected able than those of Colorado, have
contemporary bottle up his ifot in- been mercifully concealed lor ages
in four years, and his wife returned
to Summit county in timo to con
sole John Ladd, one of her first se
ries of brothers-in-law, for the
death of his second, marital venture
by marrying hint herself. Thb
added to his grief was too much for
beasts lyul tlie two priests, there
fore, are all that Mr. Gaylord has
to show for an expeonditure of
nearly #80,000 and over a year’s la
bor. The total cost of Ills trip has
s | been about # , , the remainder
being expended on other nttruc-
Jolin, and in' remained only six < tions. Two of these are a pair of
weeks, During four years Mrs, remarkably ugly orangoutangs, the
Ladd lamented, mid limn, her Jove! only two now in the country, and a
for mariners returning, she been mu j pair of game roosters, with tails
the wife of Andrew Tipton, who! seventeen feet In length. The lat-
'ligimtion and bury It at the bottom in the bowels of the earth, to he | ran on the short trade between , ter are perfect beauties, and sore-
"ft lie deep sea,there are other people providentially discovered just as Cleveland and Bedford. The j markahly game that it will he
in Georgia besides him—mid there the impoverished people must need days of the doomed Tipton passed strange if any of their magnificent
are many in the State who believe help. i quickly by, ami In the year 187(1 he j tall feathers remain on the bodies
there have been honester men than j went to that bourne from whence | after a fortnight’s fighting wltti
Colquitt hanged. j Advertise In Tun CTrnicx. 1 tow and heel path, likewise sluices j each other. The plumage Is soft
outside. A friend brought the writer
one of this kind as large as a pullet’s
egg. lie thought lie had a regular
lvohiuoor.
No such accumulation of rolled
pebbles is found except along this
holt. Now, how did they come
here and where from?
a sentence from Dr. Little’s
geological report in Jones’ Hand
book of Georgia answers the ques
tion in a few words:
“These deposits have been re
ferred to,the flooding of the South
ern States by the water from the
melting ice at the close of the
glacial period, when the rocks of the
Northern States were grooved and
striated by the grinding of the
immense lee masses which covered
the greater portion of the continent
north of the <)hlo river, and by their
melting deposited “Moraines” and
drift beds over the Middle States;
while the floods of water from their
extremities poured over the Atlan
tic and Gulf States in streams which
formed gravel beds at Washington,
etc.”
It is supposed, further, that the
ocean covered the Atlantic and
Gulf States up to the line described
above, and that when the great
floods from the North, loaded with
stones torn upon their way, entered
the ocotm, they lost their force and
deposited these pebbles, the coarser
ones first and the finer afterward.
Some of these stones were carried
ten, twenty, and even forty miles
before they settled.
This formation is known in geol
ogy as the Southern drift, The
quart# pebbles from Mr. Nelson’s
which l have seen, are worn on
some of their sides, at least, and
belong, 1 think, to this drift. They
came, then, from the'northward,
like all the drift. As to tlie exact
localities where they were once
native, extensive search would he
necessary to develop where similar
rocks are found in place. Dr.
Tiuomey, former geologist of Ala
bama, lias traced some drift rocks a
hundred miles north. Tlie Pine
mountain of Harris and Meriwether
counties runs out in Pike; but pines
and saml continue some distance
eastward. Abundance of quartz
crystals are found around Barnes-
ville and in Butts county. The
quartz pebbles of Bibb and Twiggs
may have come from some points
along this line in the valley of the
Ocmulgee, as river valleys are
known to have had an influence in
shaping the course of these drift
floods.
The quartz crystals from Twiggs
county have been mistaken for dia
monds. This lias grown out of the
finding of what is said to be a true
diamond, of good water and quite
brilliant. It is natural that every
clear stone showing any brilliancy,
should he thought to have value.
Probably a pint of crystals have
been shown to the writer. Without
exception, they were quartz. Some
were as limped as water. But all
were dull on some of their sides as
if water-rolled.
If one diamond has come to
Twiggs in the drift, others may have
done so. It is worth while to in
quire whence it lias come.
In North and South America; a
flexible sandstone, called Itaeolu-
mite, is regarded as the matrix or
mother-stone of the diamond. This
Itacolumite was first recognized in
this State in Northeast Georgia.
White’s Statistics lias a geological
map, which shows a narrow belt of
it, running from Atlanta to Union
county. The diamonds heretofore
found in Georgia were discovered
along this belt in White, Hall and
Lumpkin counties. But Dr. Little
has found Itacolumite in many
other places. IIe # specifies Bell,
Sawneo, Grave’s, Jack’s, Alcova,
Pine and Oak Mountains.
Tliis brings the Itacolumite with
in thirty to fifty miles from Macon.
The Twiggs county diamond was
drifted probably from tlie Itacolu
mite of Pine and Oak mountains, or
their continuation eastwark. As
the diamond has not been found
abundantly in this formation, this
fact diminishes the probability of
any considerable number being
found in the drift, at one point.
HOW TO TEIjIj a diamond. '
1. By its hardness. It is the hard
est of all known matter. It will
scratch all other minerals. The
scratching of glass with it is no test,
for quartz, sand and hundreds of
minerals will scratch glass. The
file is no test, it will not scratch
quartz easily.
Hardness has reference to scratch
ing power, not toughness. The dia
mond can be easily broken with a
hammer.
2. By its brilliancy. Being harder
than other minerals, the diamond
might he rolled among them a
thousand years without being
rubbed. It would wear the others
to powder. The diamond alone
wears the diamond, and that slowly.
Hence, if sand and Hoil are washed
in troughs of running water, as in
Brazil, the diamond is detected by
sight, by its brilliancy.
ii. By its crystallisation. It is
usually found of a definite shape.
Two found in Georgia had twenty-
four and forty-eight side's or reflect
ing faces.
Do not try to melt with a blow
pipe, a diamond would he ruined in
this way. Besides, a grain of sand,
clay, lime and hundreds of other
valueless things when heated, alone,
with the mouth blow-pipe, are in
fusible.
If, then, a bright transparent stone
is found near Macon, or anywhere
in tlie drift, hut some of its sides
have been dulled by rubbing, it is
not a diamond.
But, if there is found a glittering,
transparent stone, with many regu
lar sides, and with no appearance
of having been dimmed by rubbing,
and it scratches quartz or flint'
easily, then inquire further.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS.
1IOW IT WAS DON K.
They were sitting side b.v side,
And ho sighed, and then she sighed.
Said he, “My darling idol!”
And he Idled, and she Idled.
“You are ereidIon’s belle!"
And he bellowed, and she bellowed.
“On my soul there’s such a weight!”
And he wailed, and she waited.
“Your hand J ask, so hold I’m grown!”
And he groaned, and she groaned.
“You shall have a private gig!"
And ho giggled, and she giggled.
She said, “My dear Duke!”
And he looked, and she looked.
“I’ll have thee, If thou will!"
And he wilted, and she willed.
Kept on tap—Telegraphy.
Often in very poor spirits—The
cork.
The shades of night gather in dew
time.
blessing — A
pretty girl in
“Don’t you think that Charlie Is a
convincing speaker?” asked Char
lie’s friend at the close of the lecture.
“Yes,” was the reply “he convinced
me that he talked for effect half the
time, and was lying the other half.”
“What shall I write about,” asked
a young reporter of the managing
editor. “Oh, write about the first
thing comes to hand,” was the brief
order. The scrlbo drew pay that
night for an article on door knobs.
Sheriffs are classed with elastic
goods. They are suspenders.
An unspeakable
dumb wife.
A time-honored court-room—The
front parlor. >
A sandwitch—A
bathing costume.
"Where there is one dove-eyed or
swan necked maiden there are
twenty pigeon toed.
Any young man is made hotter
by a sister’s love, it is not neces
sary to he li is own sister.
The name of the king of Siam is
Somdetch Phra l’aramindr Malta
Chulalonkorn Phra Chula Clmm
Kiao.
Statistics show that hoy babies
are more apt to die than girl babies.
Boys can’t stand continued hugging
as girls can.
I don’t take any foolish chances.
If i wuz called upon to mourn over
a dead mule i should stand in front
of him and do my weeping.—Iiil-
linc/8.
Any man can lie, but it takes
brains to arrange facts and present
truths in ail intelligent shape. This
is why there are so ‘many liars in
tlie world.
“I saw you coming out of ti bar
room tlie other day,” remarked a
lady to a gentleman. “You wouldn’t
have me stay there all tlie time,
would you!”
An impecunious individual re
marks that life was ti.e same to
him at school as it is now. He was
strapped then and has been strap
ped ever since.
Atlanta claims to have a young
lady who has tlie finest and pretti
est hair ill tlie United States. The
name of tlie party of whom she
purchased it is not made public.
A Georgia justice of the peace
told a granger that the code allowed
him two dollars for marrying a
couple. “Well,” said the newly
made bridegroom, “here is one dol
lar; that will make you three.”
A poet sends us a poem begin
ning: “I gaze at tlie moon in tlie
sky.” That’s right, young man;
that’s where to gaze at it. Don’t
try to gaze at it under the bed, or
in tlie coal-cellar. Stick to the sky.
An exchange is responsible for
the statement that a colored laun
dress, calling at tlie house of a new
employer said: “If you is de white
’email wat lives here, I’m de eullud
lady wilt’s ooiue to do yer wnshin’.”
A Hall county farmer sent this
order to his merchant: “Plese seiul
me by barrier two pouns of sliuger,
a blackin’ brush, five pouns of coffee
and some little nails. My wife had
a baby last night and two padlocks
and a monkey wrench.”
It is quite the proper idea for a
young lady to paint a hunch of pan
sies on a fresh laid egg and forward
it by special messenger to her best
yentlemair friend. This signifies:
‘Pa is liateliing another scheme
against us. Come ‘over the garden
wall’ tills evening.”
“My dear,” said Mr. Jones to his
wife, “you are mighty free to call
everybody a fool. Can you tell mo
what a fool looks like?” “Yes, I can,
hut I won’t,” she replied angrily.
“Why not, love?” “Because you can
look in the glass and see for your
self. That’s the way 1 found out.”
A man at Clarksville, Ark., was
struck by lightning,, which split
open his hoots without injuring the
man. That is ♦probably true. We
should think that after lightning
had laid a square set to with an
Arkansaw man’s feet it wouldn’t
have strength left for any great
damage.
“lfow fragrant it is,” said Mrs.
Partington, as she inhaled the odor
ot a bottle of perfume. “It is as
pleasant to the oil factories as it Is
warming to the diagram, and so ac
celerating to the cistern that it
makes me forget all pain, like the
ox-hlde gas, people takes tor the
toothache,”