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1> (TsTtTy E L Y C A 8 IL
\ r olume 2.
Waynesboro, Georgia, Friday, June 29tli, 1883.
Number 8
Jpri* (True (jfcifizctt.
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All notices will be placed among reading
matter If not specially ordered otherwise.
For terms apply at lliisotllco.
Tin- Democrats jfOhio liave put
n stroll"; candidate in the field for
o-overnor in selecting Judge
I fondly, and are confident of a vic
tory. The struggle will, however,
be n severe one.
An exchange says, “Georgia isto-
day without a leader. Toombs,
Stephens and Hill are no more,
Colquitt is without ability, Brown
without polities, and in all the oth
ers thero is a want of that great
(indefinable, ability which makes
tbe leader of men. Black is the
most capable man now, and if he
throws aside just a small bit of his
Areadianisin and takes hold, he can
lie the man for the occasion.”
'l'lie sentence of the Wasson court-
martial, which imposes confine
ment in the penitentiary for two
years and dismissal from the army,
is a severe punishment. If the
clemency of the President is not
used to commute the sentence, as
it probably will be, to mere dismis
sal, it will he a sufficient exhibition
of rigor to deter others of the army
from satisfying their gambling
debts with government money.
The Atlanta newspaper grave
yard is very extensive. Newspa
pers spring up there with the facil
ity of mushrooms, blow and brag
for a few days, and then wither and
die. A short time ago the Evening
Star expired; two weeks ago the
Phonograph took an indefinite fur
lough; in quick succession the
(leorgia Major took French leave
of its readers, and in the next few
days Thornton’s Post-. 1 jipeal threw
up the spunge. There are more ex
editors in Atlanta than all the other
cities in the State, a^d all areas
anxious as over to go at it again.
Sombody, who evidently knows
nothing about it, is giving advice
through the papers how to raise
turkeys. Turkeys are as easily
raised as chickens, if properly man
aged. Never allow a young turkey
to get fat until after it lias feathered.
The feathers upon a turkey grow in
strips along the body, from muscles.
If the young turkey is fed much,
those muscles take on fat, and in
“cutting” feathers become so in-
tlumed as to kill the young bird—
not one fat young turkey in ten can
survive the ordeal of feathering, and
not one in twenty poor ones will die.
That this infiamation is the cause
of the deatli of t lie young turkey,
anyone can satisfy himself by ma
king a post mortem examination.—
It matters very little what you
feed the young turkeys on, so you do
not feed them too much, and kill
them with kindness.
A special to the Savannah Times,
dated at New York, June 25th, says:
“Companies A and O, Seventy-first
(X. Y.) Regiment, who had been
ordered to receive the Continental
Guards, of Now Orleans, on their
arrival there yesterday, refused to
do so. This discourteous conduct has
excited very unfavorable comment.
The Continental Guards will how
ever be able to survive it.” The
71st N. Y. Regiment had probably
been forced to accord the Guards
more than one reception during the
war, and had not forgotten the cor
diality of those meetings. The ac
tion of these military companies
mirrors the feelings of the North
ern people towards the South, their
protestations of friendship to the
contrary nothwithstanding, and
this contemptible insult to the
South should serve to open the eyes
of our people to the true inwardness
of the whole Yankee nation.
A correspondent of the Savannah
Xnes writes to that Journal from
Washington: “The President has
received a letter from a Georgia
politician, which is full of advice
how to fix tilings down there pro-
lniseously. The writer says that if
the advice ho gives is carried out,
liberalism in Georgia will become
respectable; and all the Republicans
and thousands of young Democrats
M ill lloek to it standard. The Gen
eral l.ongsteet and Speer factions
will he one. The programme out
lined can be briefly told. It is to
make Peter F. Bawsiio, ofGaines-
ville, Internal Revenue Collector at
Atlanta, retain Speer and Long-
street whore they now are, and
make Dr. Felton postmaster at At
lanta in place of Governor Conoly.
’1'hls on the Atlanta side of tin*
State. On the Savannah side, it
recommends that Tom Johnson he
appointed Collector of Customs,
General McHum’h, postmaster, It. D,
lioeke, Marshal, and Darnell Dis
trict Attorney, bo retained. It is
suggested that Judge Cunningham
lie made successor to Judge Krskin,
and that Jesso Wimberly or R. R.
Wright postmaster at Augusta in
place of Holden. Then will the
millennium be in the near horizon.”
if the above adviser is really a
Georgian, and knows anything of
tlie situation here, he must recog
nize the fact that the nomination
and election of Governor McDaniel
removed all cause for dissension in
die Democratic party, and that
while there may he some abuses
and some local disagreements, the
party throughout the State is a
unit, and no appointment that
President Arthur can possibly
make will effect that solidity. The
dadieal party is forever dead in
Georgia.
HKS10NATI0X.
.T. HOWARD CARPENTER
TO
w. ir. c.
<), Mis n, griu'o possessed by man alone;
A virtue angels might be Jealous of!
Conceived in darkest night; brought forth in
gloom;
In sorrow rooted, watered oft’ with tears;
Its fruit it seems would only bitter be.
Hutto the complaint Mis analogous—
The fulast ear, the richest and the best,
Is gathered from the stalk whoso rootlets feed
In blackest soil on putrifying flesh,
So Resignation, rooted in the heart,
On fading hopes and dreams long dead grows
green,
And sheds a holy fragrance all around.
My heart goes out in sympathy to him,
Whose morning, all umlimm’d, has passed
away,
And brightly in the zenith shines his sun—
For doubly dark its going down must be.
Thrice happy is the man, whose early life,
Was spent in adverse Helds at honest toil!
A harvest rich shall crown his after years,
And sweet contentment close his eyes in
detith.
I thank Thee, Father, that thou didst awhile
Let clouds obscure the brightness of my sun,
For in the shadows first I learned to smile,
E’en thro’ my tears and say “Thy will be
done.”
I thank Thee for the burden Thou didst lay
Upon my heart when it was light and free:
For Mieatli its crushing weight 1 learned to
pray;
And then—so strange!—I cast it ail on Thee.
I thank Thee that my road has rugged been;
That I have passed thro’ scenes of care and
strife:
For now I know it was Thy hand unseen,
That led mo thro’ them and preserved my life.
And trusting thus in Thy protecting care,
I’ll forward press, tlio’ all the world should
frown,
Will meet the heaving billows still with pray
er,
Relieving they can never bear me down.
Waynesboro, (la., June 2*2d, ISKd.
INMAN GUILTY.
Details of the Crime—Petition for a New Trial.
Macon Telegraph and Messenger.
Beyond the bare statement that a
most brutal murder had been com
mitted, and a woman and a wife
made the victim, but little lias been
given in the columns of the state
journals of the details of the Inman
murder in Emanuel county. The
previous good standing of the mur
derer, the peculiar brutality of ids
methods and the character of the
evidence against him, all combined
to M’liet public interest in his trial.
Mrs. Inman was a Miss Grubbs, a
daughter of Colonel Grubbs, at one
time one of the richest men in
Burke county. Mho married Inman
and moved into Emanuel county
and lived there till the time of her
murder. Inman was a dissolute,
worthless fellow, and, though pos
sessed of a good property at one
time, ran through it all, and was
finally brought to reduced circum
stances. Having made way with
his own property, lie thought next
to drink up that of his wife. It was,
however, held in her own name,
and she made up her mind to man
age it for herself. Some time in
February last she sold off a portion
of it for $000.
On the morning of February 9th
she and her husband were to go
over to a store, about a mile distant,
and make some purchases. She
had on her person the #000 realized
from the sale of her property. It
was agreed that she would ride
over on horseback, while lie would
walk along. It was on this occasion
that the murder was committed.
Just how it was done will never be
known, as there was no witness to
the crime.
The story, as developed in the re
cent trial, is that about ten o’clock
in the morning Inman came riding
up to where William Hall and Jim
Bishop wero working. Ho told
them that his horse had thrown his
wife, on the roadside about half a
mile away, and that he needed their
assistance. They of course dropped
everything and hastened to the
scene of the supposed accident.
Arriving at the place, they found
Mrs. Inman with her face fairly im
bedded in the sftiul, her skull crush
ed in and her body literally welter
ing in blood. Inman had all the
while appeared careless and indif
ferent, and when Ids friends lifted
her up and told him she was dead,
ho manifested no concern what
ever.
His account of the accident m'iis,
that ids wife was riding on some
distance ahead of him when a pine
burr fell, striking the mare. The
horse began to rear and soon be
came unmanageable, and threw
Mrs. Inman. In the fall Her foot
caught in the stirrup, -while she
still hold on to the long rope bridle.
She fell near a stump and the horse
wont round and round it, drugging
her against it, hitting her head and
breaking her nock. Horan to her
assistance and she asked Him “to
take her down from the horse.”
After laying l»er on the grass lie
mounted ids horse and galloped off
for assistance.
The glaring inconsistencies of his
story were too apparent. That his
wife should speak after her neck
was broken, or that site should ask
to he taken off a horse that had
been dragging her along the ground
were discrepancies which oven the
excitement of tin* occasion could
not cover over.
At the coroner’s inquest, lie re
peated his statement, investiga
tion showed that there was no
horse’s tracks around the stump,
hut that he had been driven up to
it. The sand and broken splinters
showed that some one had slipped
off there. There was a footprint
near it, to which the shoe of tHo
dead woman exactly fitted. In the
woods near by, were found two
pine knots of different sizes, on
each of which was found blood and
hair. Two indentations on her
skull were found to correspond in
size with the ends of the two pine
knots. A tree about five feet dis
tant was spattered with blood, and
Airs. Inman’s fingers wero broken,
as though slu' had put her hand to
her head to ward off the blow.—
Her pocket was found to be turned
inside out, and the #000 were gone.
A handsome necklace and locket,
which she had long worn, were also
missing. These facts taken togeth
er with the folly of His going a half
mile for assistance, and making no
effort to give relief, made it clearly
evident that there had been foul
play, and that Alfred Inman was a
murderer.
He made no effort to escape, al
though he was offered money and a
horse before a warrant was issued.
The excitement Mas intense
throughout tHo county, and while
no violence was attempted, there
m ;is a firm determination that the
law should be enforced. The case
was set for trial at the April term,
but the defense claimed that justice
could not lie done on account of
popular prejudice, and it was there
fore postponed till June, M'hen
Judge Carswell called an adjourned
term for tire express purpose of try
ing the case.
The prisoner was represented by
Judges Twiggs and Hook, Augus
ta; Hines, of Sandersvillo, and
Messrs. Fielder, Camp & Williams,
of the local bar.
(Solicitor-General Gamble was as
sisted by Col. John D. Ashton, of
Waynesboro, and \V. C. Livingston,
of the local bar. The evidence
brought out was essentially the
same as that developed at the coro
ner’s inquest. The argument was
full and exhaustive on both sides,
and after three hours absence the
jury returned a verdict of guilty.
Large crowds were in daily at
tendance, and no'trial for years has
created so much interest and ex
citement. There is but one opin
ion as to the justness of tlio verdict.
Throughout the entire trial, the
prisoner’s mother—an old lady—
lias licon with him, watching and
working for him. She lias engaged
tlio best counsel to be procured,
and left nothing undone in His be
half. The prisoner received the
verdict witli the same dogged in
difference which lias marked his
conduct over since the commission
of the crime. He refused to have
anything to say in reference to it.
Prisoner’s counsel gave notice of a
motion for a now trial, and the mo
tion will be argued at tlio fall ses
sion of tlio court.
The details of the evidence, which
is entirely circumstantial, as re
ported by Mr. Fitzgibbons, arc of
the most sickening nature. The
body of the murdered woman was
a mass of bruises. She was a wo
man about thity-two years of age,
and the mother of six children,
the oldest of which is only fourteen
years of age. She had tlio respect
of the entire community, and the
frequent brutal treatment of the
man who had M asted Jiis own and
the 1 largest portion of her fortune
had long ago won £jr her the sym
pathy of the best people of tlu*
county. There is, we understand,
but little probability of a new trial
being granted, and it is more than
likely that her murder will be
avenged by the death of Inman at
the hands of the law.
C'incAdo, June 22.—At Kensing
ton,; sixteen miles south of Chicago,
tlio discovery was made yesterday
of a horrible murder. Edward Ve-
runuler, a laborer, beat his wife,
and fearing that her husband in
tended to murder her, she dragged
herself to the nearest neighbor’s
and related the story, that one Sun
day morning, last October, Verim-
uler sent her son (bis stop-son) aged
It) years, to make some small pur
chases. Thu boy returned with the
change II) cents short. The brutal
step-father thereupon pounded and
beat the hoy to death, and took up
the kitchen floor, and buried his
body, Sinee murdering ids step-son,
lie lias made several savage attacks
mi bis wife, that of yesterday being
likely to result in her death, as she
was about to become a mother.—
The body of her son was discover
ed under the floor. Verunuler is in
jail. There arc threats of lynching
him,
A HIM,
To be Entitled an Act to Prescribe
the Manner of Making and Work
ing Public Roads; to enforce the
same, and for other purposes.
Jle it enacted by the General As
sembly of the State of Georgia that,
from and after the passage of this
Act,
1. All roads now used by the pub
lic; all roads laid out for general use
by an act of the General Assembly,
or by a court of competent jurisdic
tion, shall be public roads until
changed by a court of competent
jurisdiction. No public road shall be
less than twenty or more than
thirty feet wide.
2. The officer or court in each
county in this State having the
general management and control
of county art'fairs shall have origi
nal and complete jurisdiction in the
enforcement of all laws applicable
or appertaining to tho^public roads
in said county. The term Road
Court, M’hen used in Ibis Act, shall
refer to such officer or court in each
county.
8. Any person desiring the estab
lishment, vacation, or alteration of
a public road, shall file in the Road
Court of the proper county) a peti
tion in substance as folloM’s:
“Georgia, ^ To the Road Court
County.) of said County:
The undersigned ask that a pub
lic road commencing at, ,
and running thence , and
terminating at , 1)0 estab
lished, vacated, or altered, (as the
case may be).”
Before tiling such petition tlio
Rond Court shall require the peti
tioner to file in said office a bond,
with sureties, to lie approved by
said court, conditioned that all ex
penses growing out of the applica
tion Mill be paid by the obligors in
case the contemplated road is not
finally established, vacated, or al
tered, as asked for in the petition.—
When such bond lias been approv
ed, the Road Court .shall appoint
three commissioners, M'ho shall ex
amine into the public utility of the
establishment, vacation, or altera
tion of said public road; and if they
find the same Mill be beneficial,
they shall mark out said new road,
or vacation, or alteration in the old
road, and make a report of their
action under oath to the Road Court
within the time specified in the
order. If the report is favorable to
tli(> petition, the Road Court shall
publish a citation at the door of tlio
court house, and in a public gazette,
if there is one in the county, giving
a particular description of said hom’
road, or vacation, or alteration of
the old road, notifying all persons
that on and after a certain day,
therein named, said new road, or
vacation, or alteration of old
road, will bo finally granted if no
good cause is sliou’u to the contra
ry. All persons OM’ning lands
through M’liich said road passes,
must be at tlio sumo time notified
in MTiting, personally, or at their
most notorious place of abode, that
they may make tlieir claim for
damages, or be forever estopped.
4. When any person shall feel
aggrieved by any road proposed to
1)0 laid out through any of ids
lands, unless othonvise provided in
the charter thereof, or some special
law, ho may petition in MTiting the
Road Court, and a warrant shall
issue, directed to the Sheriff of the
county, to summon from the vicin
age a jury of freeholders to try such
question of damage, M’ho shall be
sM’orn by some Justice of the Peace,
to truly and impartially assess any
damage the mviier of said lands
will sustain by reason of such new
or altered road, and said Justice
shall preside at their deliberations,
f>. No person shall bo a compe
tent juror M’ho claims any damage
of the county or person for the same
or any similar road, or M’ho M’ould
bo disqualified if the trial m us before
tlu' Superior Court.
(i. The jury shall inspect the
road and land in person, unless al
ready familiar M’ith them, and
sM’cnr any witnesses that tlio own
er or any person on tlio part of the
county may offer us to their opinion
of tlio damages sustained.
7. The Sheriff shall notify the
Justice of the Peace and the ou ner
of the land of tlio day and place of
trial, and shall summon to attend
tlion and there as witnesses, any
person ns may he designated by such
owner or petitioner,
K. He shall fix the time and
plaee, tlio time not less than five
nor more than ten days, and the
place as near the land as tbe proper
housoroom can be obtained.
!>. At the time of trial, any per
son in interest may object to the
Imptiniioling any Juror for cause,
and if for this or any other reason,
there are not twelve jurors im-
piunieled and sworn, the Sheriff
shall procure tales jurors.
It). The trial may bo postponed
or continued from day to day until
completed, and if Hie Justice of the
Peace summoned to attend shall
fail to preside, the Sheriff must sup
ply the vacancy from some other
1 list riot.
11. If a mistrial occurs, the Sher
iff shall proceed de noru to sum
mon other jurors, and all the pro
ceedings shell be the same as at the
first trial, and so on until there is a
verdict.
12. The judgment in such cases
may be certioraried by the county
or the owner of the lands, as in
certiorari from forcible entry and
detainer trials, and if a new trial is
ordered, they shall proceed to pro
cure a trial as previously.
1!). When such judgment becomes
final, all papers appertaining there
to must be tiled in the office of the
Road Court, M’bicli court must grant
an order for the damages assessed
in favor of the land owner, Hut if
such court is satisfied that such
damages transcend tlio utility of
such road or that part of it, they
may revoke the road altogether, or
order the same altered so as to avoid
the land so damaged, or make the
oM’ncr an offer of such compensa
tion as they may think just.
1-1. In estimating the value of tlio
land M’hen taken for public uses it is
not restricted to its agricultural or
productive quiditics,but inquiry may
be made as to all other legitimate
uses to M’hicli the property could be
appropriated. Prospective and con
sequential damages resulting there
from may also be taken in consid
eration if tlio same are plain and
appreciable, and on the other hand,
the increase of tlio value of the land
from tlio proposed public improve
ment may be considered, but in no
case shall the owner be deprived of
the actual value of ids land by such
estimated increase.
15. If any person shall alter any
public road or cut a ditch across or
alter tlio location of any bridge or
make any new bridge necessary by
his act without first obtaining an
order therefor, or if any person
shall make any fence or cut any
tree or make any like obstructions
in or across any public road M’liicli
is not removed in tu’o days and a
safe and convenient xvay at the
time of obstruction made for travel
ers, lie shall be punished by a fine
not exceeding fifty dollars or im
prisonment not exceeding thirty
days or to M’ork in the chain gang
not exceeding thirty days; any one
or all of these punishments may be
ordered in the discretion of the
court.
111. All male inhabitants in this
State between the ages of sixteen
and sixty shall be subject to work
on tlio public roads for five days in
the year 1884 and five days in tlie
year 1885 and five days in eacli year
thereafter. There shall not be any
exemption; Provided nevertheless,
that each person M’hen required to
do said M’ork may pay two dollars
in lieu of the same and shall receive
a written exemption from said five
day’s work.
17. A person liable to road duty
M’hen required to M’ork shall receive
from one of the overseers a MTitten
or printed notice, u’hich notice shall
state M’hen and M’liore said person
shall appear to commence M’ork,
M'hicli notice shall be served on said
person personally or bo left at ids
most notorious place of abode two
days before tlie time to begin M’ork.
18. When any person so liable to
M’ork shall have been so notified
and shall fail to appear and answer
the notice or after appearing and
ansM’ering, shall fail or refuse to
work in a proper manner or shall
bo disobedient or disrespectful to
any Overseer or any foreman ap
pointed by such Overseer, such per
son shall be punished by a line not
exceeding thirty dollars; imprison
ment not exceeding thirty days or
to work in the chain gang on the
public works not to exceed thir
ty days, any one or all of those pun
ishments may bo ordered in tlio
discretion of the court.
19. it shall be the duty of tlio Road
Court to employ such (Superintend
ents, Overseers, Engineers, (Survey
ors and laborers as may be neces
sary to carry into full effect and to
enforce in a proper manner all the
road laws. Tlio number as well as
tlio salaries and condition of tlie
contracts to bo fixed and regulated
in each county by tlie Road Court
for that county. To furnish such
lumber, mules, plank, stone, brick,
pipe, M’tigons, carts, tents, plows,
scrapers, rollers, spades, picks, hoes,
rakes, in short, such implements
and material as may bo necessary
in ouch couuty for working and re
pairing the roads in a proper man
ner, paying for them out of the road
fund. To bold courts at such times
and places as may bo necessary for
a proper enforcement of the law,
the court shall convene for road
purposes at least once a month. To
try all defaulters and offenders, To
see that all the officers under them
do their full duty. To have a list
made out a. the end of each month
of all persons M’ho have been sum
moned to work on the public roads;
on said list it shall be stated M’ho
has worked; M'ho has paid money
in lieu of M’ork; M’ho are defaulters
and M’hat disposition lias been made „
of each case. (This list shall be
posted at the court bouse door and
at one of the most public places in
each malitia district in which tlie
parties reside or sojourn.) To in
spect the work on the roads; to see
that the- law is properly enforced,
in short, to do and perform all such
acts as reasonably appertain to their
office.
20. It shall be tbe duty of the
Superintendents and Overseers to
summon for labor all persons liable
to work on the public roads, to re
ceive and account for all commuta
tion money, to report all defaulters
and to arrest the same and carry
them before tbe court, to attend the
courts M’hen notified, to superin
tend M’ork on tlie public roads; to
guard all convicts turned over to
them for labor; to care for all prop
erty; to employ laborers, and in
short, to do and perform all acts
reasonably appertaining to their
office. Each Superintendent and
Overseer sliall give such bond and
security for all money or property
that shall go into tlieir hands, and
for a faithful performance of tlieir
duty, as shall be required by the
Road Court in each county.
21. It shall be the duty of all en
gineers, surveyers and laborers to
work in accordance with tlie terms
and conditions of their contracts.
22. Any Superintendent or Over
seer, being detected in cruelty or
injustice to a convict or person
M’orking under him, or failing in
anyway to discharge any duty
shall not only he liable to a
forfeiture of his bond, but sliall be
liable to a fine not exceeding one
hundred dollars, imprisonment not
exceeding fifty days, or to labor in
the chain gang on tlie public works
not exceeding tliirty days, any one
or all of these punishments may be
ordered in tlie discretion of the
court.
23. Tn any county in which tlie
labor, commutation money and fines
are not sufficient to put and keep
all the public roads, causeways and
bridges in good order and to defray
all tlie expenses incident to M’ork
ing tlie same, the Road Court on
recommendation of tlie Grand Jury
shall assess and have collected a
tax to he called the road tax not
exceeding fifty per cent on the State
tax for each and every year tlie
same may bo necessary.
24. It* sliall bo tlio duty of tlie
County Treasurer in each county to
receive and disburse on order of tlie
Road Court all money belonging to
said fund. He sliall give bond in
such an amount and M’ith such se
curity and M’ith such conditions as
shall be prescribed by the Road
Court in each county. This fund
ho shall keep separate from all
other county money, and for his
services ho shall get one and a Half
per cent, on all sums received, and
one and a half per cent, on all sums
paid out.
25. Any OM’ner, manager, or oc
cupant of land failing or refusing
to furnish a list of all persons on
said land liable to road work, M’hen
called on so to do, or wilfully fur
nishing a false or incomplete list,
shall on conviction before the Road
Court, bo fined in a sum not exceed
ing tM’onty dollars, or be imprison
ed not exceeding thirty days, either
or both, in tlio discretion of the
Court.
2(5. It shall be tlio duty of all
Railroad Companies to keep in
good order tlie crossings of tlieir
roads, as M’ell as the public roads
over their right of M’ay. Any such
crossing or public road not being In
good or dot, tlio public road over
seer shall notify the railroad over
seer or section master of the con
dition of said road or crossing, and
on ills failing or refusing to put the
same in good order within five
days, tlie public road overseer sliall
do such work as may bo needed on
tlie same, and the Railroad Compa
ny sliall forfeit five times tlio val
ue of said M’ork, to bo recovered in
a suit at tlie instance of tlio public
road overseer for tlio county, which
money when recovered sliall bo
paid into the road fund.
27. That all fines and forfeitures
collected by virtue of this Act shall
be paid to tlio County Treasurer as
a part of the road fund.
28. That all roads on county
lines, and all bridges across streams
on county lines, shall be worked ami
kept in good condition at the Joint
expense of tlio adjoining counties.
29. That all laws and parts of
laws, and all Acts or parts of Acts,
111 conflict with this Act, shall lie
and the same tiro hereby repealed.
The “lap of luxury” is M hen the
cut gets into tlio cream.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS.
WHAT I’D 1)0 FOB II HU.
I’d swear for her—
1’tl tear for her—
The Lord knows wlrnt I’d benrfor her:
I’d lie for her—
I’d sigh for her—
I’d drink the Ohio dry fur her:
I’d cuss for her—
Do wuss for hee
l’d kick up a thundering muss for her:
I’d weep for her—
I’d leap for hee
l’d go without any sleep for her:
I’d light for her—
I’d Idle for hee
l’d walk the streets all night for her:
I’d plead for her—
I’d bleed for her—
I’d do without my feed for her:
I’d hoot for her—
I’d shoot for her—
A rival who’ll come to suit for her:
I’d kneel for hee
l’d steal for her—
Such Is the love I feel for her:
I’d slide for her—
I’d ride for hee
l’d swim against wind and Ilile for her:
I’d try for her—
I’il cry for her—
Hut—hang me If I’d die for her—
Or any other woman.
“Take Notice” is the name of a
new mining town in Nevada.
Lains Bible and bis M’ife Sarah
Testament live in Crittendon, coun
ty, Ky.
Why are seven days like a spell
of sickness? Because they make
one week.
“Board wanted”—as tlie young
lady said when she came to a mud
puddle in the sidewalk.
When a man in the dock fumbles
in his pocket for tlie “one dollar and
costs” is it a case of fine feeling ?
“What M’as your observation, Mr.
Brown?” “Oh, nothing, madame.
I simply said your butter ranked
well.”
Hens may be a little backward
on eggs, but they never fail to come
to the scratch when flower bods are
in question.
“.Sis, give me a lively subject for
my composition,” said little Ben;
and his sister Martha quietly re
plied: “Fleas.”
The American hog is forbidden to
enter Germany. That shuts out the
man M’ho tries to occupy four seats
in a railway car.
“Eat onions, sis,” is tlie Boston
Post's advice to a young lady M’ho
wants to know how to avoid having
a moustache on her upper lip.
Somebody out West is trying to
find out iioM' many mules there are
in tlie country. We give it up. It’s
a question of muletiplication.
The papers are publishing a pic-
ture of Freddie Gobhardt among
the “self-made men.” This is prob
ably done because Freddie lias made
an ass of himself.
A bald-headed man who has
heard that tlie hairs on a man’s
head are numbered, wants to know
if there is not some place where ho
can obtain the back numbers.
The meanest man we liave heard
of this season is tlie fellow who tele
graphed his sympathy to a friend
who had just lost everything in
speculation, and made him pay for
the message.
“My son,” said an American fath
er, “how could you marry an Irish
girl?” “Why, father, I am not able
to keep two women. If I’d marry a
Yankee girl I’d have to hire an
Irish girl to take care of her.”
A Frenchman learning the Eng
lish language complained of the ir
regularity of tlie verb “to go,” the
present tense of which some M’ag
had written out for him as follows:
“I go, thou startest, he departs; m t o
lay tracks, you cut sticks, they ab
squatulate or skedaddle.”
“Dar am nuffin dat ruins a nigger
more suddener,” said Undo Nash,
solemnly, to his eldest hopeful, “dan
de custom of visitin’ hen-roosts in
do full ob de moon. It tun M’oll
enough to tackle do watermillyun
patches when de queen ob night am
sailin’ round in short neck an’ low
sleeves, becuz bo squiiM’k ob a twist
ed watermillyun vine tun not liko
de squawk ob a red-headed roosterer
when you done pluck him out ob
do hen-patch. But take de roosterer
when do moon tun on do half shell.
During a heavy shower, a busi
ness man, carrying a very M et um
brella, entered the Astor House, to
pay a call to some one upstairs.—
After placing his umbrella where It
might drain, ho M’roto upon a piece
of paper anil pinned to it the words:
“N. U.—This umbrella belongs to a
man M’ho strikes a two-hundred-and
fifty-pound bhnv. Back in fifteen
minutes.” IIo went his way up
stairs, and after an absence of fif
teen minutes, returned to find Ids
umbrella gone, and in its place a
note reading: “1*. H.—Umbrella
taken by a man M’ho walks ten miles
an hour. Won’t bo back at all.”