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(The (True (Citizen.
Sullivan Brothers, Publishers.
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Fosl T 1 V E h V C A S
Some how wo could not put any
l' ; ,ith in 1‘rinms Jones’ “first hale”
this year, which ho claimed to have
si-nt to market several weeks ago.
It was too early in the season for
this climate, and now comes the
I thick shear AV/r* «£• Siyncit, “with
malice aforethought,” and ruthlessly
dispells the halo of glory that en-1
circled the lofty head of Col. l’ri-!
mils. That paper says: “The glo-!
wof the first hale of new cotton I
has hecn taken from t'ol. Primus
jones hy some of his neighbors,
who have visited his place and find
im evidence of new cotton. Col.
Primus has the proceeds, but the
(.■lory has departed. Who would
have thought his neighbors would |
have thus undone him. Col. Pri
mus will have to build a stockade, |
and mount a few Held pieces the'
next season, and keep these med
dlesome neighbors off his premises.
1 agj».fl«n.m-wr-w»crr»Trj&*i
Volume 2.
hp
Waynesboro, Georgia, Friday, Julv27tli, 188').
Number 1 I.
For Tn i: Citizkx.
TKAIJS
Tears y. r, hitler tears,
I have not she.l before for voars,
How they Mow and Mow and Mow;
1 cannot stop thorn - could 1 do so,
I would no! -for t liny case me so.
Tears, -yes, bitter tears;
They conic forth on account of care
('arcs from which I cannot pari,
Deeply Imaged on my heart —
My brokciThcai I.
Tears- yes, hitler tears,
Their Mow sometimes to me appear
As it they would never cease.
They ease my heart and give me pc
Y os, blessed peace.
'I’ears—yes, bitter tears,
As ! recount theman\ years
That I have suflerod—yet don’t c<
1 'll I ry to hear all earthly pain
For heavenly gain.
Tears—yes, bitter tears,
i.et them Mow, I have no fears.
I hope and trust with my <2nd
I may soon lie ’ncath the sod -
My native sod.
, freshingly juicy, with a flavor of
cinnamon about it. So it may bo
seen that wo have a rich variety of
I fruit for our morning repast, and
imr can willingly forego a hearty
j breakfast in consideration therefor.
Ollier fruits, equally novel and
l tempting, arc promised in the
; course of the seasons, among them
• the ehorimoya, or alligator pear,
i which is eaten with a spoon from
,, irs i tin' skin, and is said to resemble a
! delicious icecream in flavor, though
pi'iuv, j not in temperature.
j 'The Mexican aimuerai, or break-
i fast, is served at noon, and corros-
mpiuin, ponds to flic 'French dejeuner. It
j is very hearty, and does not differ
from our regular dinner. As an
example of the best class of restau
rants, I will cite the Cafe Anglais,
which is kept hy a most amiable
Toni's—yes, bit lor tours,
I'iko mist liofore my pyos—It clours
I see, 1 led now nival roHef,
I will no longer lmrljor grief,
My bitter grief.
Waynoslioro, (la., July 2-ttli, lSKl.
.'Iml nail Drink la Mevirii.
]>. II.
Ills bust Court.
Arkansas Traveler.
Old .Judge (irepson, a justice of
the peace, was never known to
smile, liecame to Arkansas years
ago, before the carpet-baggers be
gan their reckless sway, and year
after year, by the will of the voters,
he held his place as magistrate.
The lawyers who practiced in his
court never joked with him, because
every one soon learned that the
old man never engaged in levity.
Every morning, no matter how had
the weather might he, the old man
took his place behind the bar which,
with Ids own hands, he had made,
and every evening just at a certain
time, he closed his hooks and went
home. No one ever engaged him
in private conversation because lie
would talk to no one. No one ever
Iloslon 11 crulil’s City of Mexico Letter.
It is a common custom to prcce _
coffee with an indulgence in fruit, t lan * ot t u l , ’ c
for I which is delicious and cheap in this » or ( ‘ ourt > ,,r a ,mU ' 1 ’ 11,1,1 has 1)0( '"
roofed over with glass. The place
it, hut lost it through his son; re
turning to Peril, he made another
fortune, hut was ruined by the
Chilian war at the time of the tak
ing of Limn; he has been in Mexico
two yeses and lie is in a fair way to
make a third fortune. The restau-
wlmt was the
'I’lie editors of the Butler Iferttlti,
ia tlieir issue of the 54th inst., uses
considerably more than a column
of their space in replying to Tiik
Citi/kn in regard to Senator Col
quitt. We do not know how broth
ers Ben ns iY Buss liecame such
tierce champions of the Senator.—
There is an old adage which says,
“Kissing goes by favors,” and
•ill we know it nitty he so in tills in-j country, and is regarded as pnrticu-
stancc. We are prepared to suspi-1 lnriy healthful at that time of day, ,H <>'-»amented with a profusion of
cion anything with which Colquitt I nn<l the great basketful set before I ,)Joi)l! " n tf plants, for which Mexi-
eoiucs in contact. So far as Col- one is tempting enough in its rich I t ‘ a,1>fi liaVl ’ lia(l a. passion Irom the
ouitt’s great patriotism, exposed bv i variety of colors and .shapes. 'There '“'W Un Azt.is. I.aili sidi ol
lhsperiling ids life on so many hat-1 are oranges, freshly plucked and j tlu ‘ entrance is lined with rows
tic fields, he was not half the ommi ! iuiev. and hummus of v»rimi« sizes i 1,1 plants, ioruiing a pleasant all
ot thousands of privates, who hurt
the fatigues and hardships of the
Frenchman, who, after making a wont to his home, u little cottage
fortune in the same business in j among the trees in the cit’ys out-
Peru, went hack to France to enjoy skirts, because he had never shown
a disposition to make welcome the
visits of those who even live in the
immediate vicinity. 11 is office was
not given him through the influ
ence of “electioneering,” because lit 1
never asked any man for his vote,
lie was first elected because, hav-
patio,! ing once been summoned in a case
of aliitration he exhibited the exec
utive side of such a legal mind that
the people nominated and elected
him. lie soon gained the name of
the “hard justice,” and every law
yer in Arkansas referred to his de- ^° 1S0 t><>l dd he kept In the road, the
I turned away from that letter j
hardened. 1 spurned my teaching, i
Now I am here:”
Several lawyers rushed forward.
A crimson tide Unwed from her
lips. They leaned her lifeless head
back against the chair. 'The old
magistrate had not raised Lis
“(treat (tod!” said a lawyer,
dead!”
The woman was his daugldei
A ChilJ’x Perilous ltide.
t’nrsnii Appeal, July 11.
About !);!50 o’clock yesterday
morning, a young lady in Empire,
attempted to take some children to
ride. Among them was Chester
Hope, nlioy :l years of age. She
put young Chester into the wagon,
and was about to lift in another,
when the horse becoming frighten
ed, started off on the dead run.—
There was a cry of terror from tho
child’s mother as the wagon dis
appeared in a cloud of dust over
the hill, uml a number of men |
dashed after it on foot, hut too late I
to do any good. Commissioner
Martin, who was near the scene of
the runaway, sprang on the first
horse lit 1 could find, and started m
pursuit. JIo overtook the llying
wagon half a mile front Umpire,!
and found the hoy kneeling down,
and holding fast to the dashboard.
Mi. Martin had the presence of
mind to see that so long as the
No Dentist Need Apply.
Albany News uml Ailvi rUsci - .
Mr. W. \V. Johnson, of east
I Dougherty, was in the city yester
day, and exhibited a front tooth
which lie pluged with lead, with
his own hands over thirty years
1 • Vt T'| ago. .1 to used an awl to clean out
l |l ‘ 1“ j the cavity, and packed the lead in
| with the same instrument, after
i heating it out as thin as possible
j on an anvil. The tooth is in a per
fect state of preservation, and bids
fair to last as long as the man.
Found Dinul After n Year.
war, half starved, hare-foot and in
rugs, of which the (fenerttl knew
nothing, ami finally laid down their
lives in their country’s defence!—
Where is the parallel, and who was
the greater patriot, the private or
the general? 'Phis kind of syco
phantic twaddle is contemptible
and nausentingly disgusting. But
we have said all we wished upon the
subject, and we have nothing- to
take back—nothing to extenuate.
The Augusta Chronicle of last
Sunday morning brings us the sad
intelligence of the sudden death of
.Mr. James U. Miller, son of Mr.
James Miller, who has for many
years been a lending dry goods mer
chant in Augusta, which occurred
on Saturday morning in that city.
Speaking of Mr. Miller, the Chroni
cle utters the following words of
deserved praise to his memory:
“lie was t!u‘ oldest son of our es
teemed citizen, Mr. James Miller,
and was well and favorably regard
ed hy all who knew him. His
hearing was courteous and high-
toned, honorable in his dealings,
gentle and wonderfully generous in
disposition, he possessed Hue sense,
and rare business opportunities
were afforded ldm. Hopeful in
temperament, abounding in good
Uuunor, he was brave in action and
magnanimous to a fault.”
We have long known Kir. Miller,
and regarded him as a warm person
al freind. There are few young men
more deserving, or whose career for
the future held forth brighter prom
ise of usefulness. But Heath has
laid him low in the vigor of his
young manhood, and promise of the
the future is broken. Tenderly would
we offer the aged parents, the
trusting young wife and affection
ate brother our heart-felt sympathy.
The attempts to boom the defunct
Confederate bonds heretofore made
have utterly failed to the cost of the
would-be speculators. And now a
certain Colonel Huberts, of Louisi
ana, has formulated a brand new
scheme by which he hopes to catch
unguarded “suckers.” The Colonel
says: “'The general government
will lie asked to guarantee the debts
of tin' Southern States, whose bonds
arc below par, at a rate to he fixed,
and the balance of the debt will ho
canceled. To illustrate: The State
of Louisiana lias a debt of $12,000, <»(><>
gmI (in' bonds now. representing it
fire worth about seventy cents.—
The State will call in all its bonded
debt, and replace it with a new
bond guaranteed by the govern
ment hearing .'ID per cent, inter
est, tlu> whole amount of those new
hnuds being $S ) imio,ooo, or retiring
the debt at 70 per cent. Thus the
debt of Bouislann will be reduced
Irani $1 ”0110,000 Inis,400,(too, and $H,-
000,000 uf the original amount will
he wiped out. The State will then
levy a special tax for the payment
of her annual interest to the Cnlted
States, which would he loss than
•Wot),non per annum, and the new
hands would lie at par. 'This is
the plan. Its advocates say it will
reduce tin* debts of some of the
Slates j>ne luiif, and can de the
bondholders no possible harm, the
public or tin* people of the State.—
They declare that Wall street will
he for 11, and that two-tldrds of the
lloprosentatlves of the States inter-
' -toil will favor it wlieij the plan is
fully understood.” Now, when the
colonel is through booming these
wartIdess State bonds, lie can join
• lie hand and go to work to revivify
the old, dead Confederate bonds,
equal ! juicy, and bananas of various sizes,
from dainty little yellow one to} l ,1 '° iU ''b 111,(1 in
huge red specimens. But ony -..•(room is a lal
the most delicious products of the
tropics is the mango, the eating of!
which, however, is apt at llrst to
embarrass and perplex a stranger
to no small degree, in shape the
mango resembles a pear with the
stem tit the wrong end, ilattened,
however, like a bean, and with the
small end turned over to one side
something like the figures common
on cashmere shawls. One large
variety is entirely yellow, and a
smaller kind is yellow with rich
red cheeks, offering tempting hues
for a still-life painter. Inside is a
very large seed, xvhich forms a con-
sideralilile impediment, to the en
joyment of the inexperienced, for
the pulp is joined to this in a stringy
way, and it is difficult to handle the
slippery thing. A thoroughly ripe
mango lias a kind of combination of
muskmelon and linked custard
aspect and texture to its deep yel
low pulp, and its rich flavor is in
describable except that when eaten
for Bit' llrst time it seems to have a
slight trace of turpentine, which
resemblance, however, disappears
on acquaintance. The large yellow:
variety seemed to me to have a
very slight and delicate flavor of
peanut candy. The person who
eats a mango for the first tilin'gene
rally covers himself xvitli eonfusiou
and his face with mango pulp and
juice, which is very sticky and yel
low, so that he looks as if somebody
had been feeding him with soft
boiled eggs in the dark. It will not
do to eat a mango as one would an
ordinary fruit, the correct way be
ing to use a mango fork, which lias
hut one tine, and is therefore really
not a fork at all, hut a spit. With
this the fruit is impaled at one end
and the point thrust firmly in the
seed, which may thus he stripped of
its last pulp without soiling the
lingers.
An odd-seeming fruit is the same,
about tlie size of a small eocoanut,
egg-sluiped, and covered with a
coeoanut-hued, hut rather thin,
rough shell. One can hardly per
suade himself that it is not cooked,
for the substance, which is of a deep
brick-red hue, has the consistency
of a boiled pumpkin and tastes some
thing like squash-pie. It has one
large, glossy black seed, about three
inches long. 'The best way to ('tit
the fruit is with a spoon direct from
tin' shell. Strawberries are in sea
son nearly all the year. They are
of good flavor, hut like the apricot,
pear, and other northern fruits
which abound here, could lie much
improved by the cultivation of good
varieties—a chance for our nursery
men to introduce their products in
Mexico, where there is no reason
why the fruits of the temperate
zone should not he as good ustlio.se
in California. 'There is also an
abundance of watermelons and
muskmclons, uml pomegranates
and tigs mv just coming into season.
The figs lire the best fresh ones I
have ever seen and the first I ever
really liked. 'They are very nice
eaten with cream, hut cream is
rather scarce here. I must retract
all that I said against the prlckly-
penr in a letter written to the lice-
(ild from F.l Paso in 'Texas, about
two years ago, and hast'd upon ex
perience with tin' miserable little,
wild variety growing thereabouts. l,s tlu ‘ l ‘“ n ‘ ll,K1
The tuna, as the fruit of the prickly-
pleasant
. : ifiti.ii n, ,,iivL in the center of tin*
one to i 1
() |.j room is a large group, while air
plants hang in baskets all around
the sides. With our soup we take
ugueeate, a kind of fruit with a
black skin and about the shape of a
large tig. It contains a large, nut
meg shaped seed, and is of a soft
and somewhat pastry greenish sub
stance. It is called a natural but
ter, and the poor people spread it
on their bread, hut it has no resem
blance to butter in flavor and is not
in the least greasy; to me it seems
more egg-like and creamy in taste,
it is cut up and put into soup, form
ing - a very pleasant addition, or is
eaten its a vegetable with salt and
popper. Next to soup comes eggs,
served as one may prefer. A favor
ite way is a la plata, or shirred, as
Americans would call them, being
broken into a heated little dish of
silver and brought to the table
cooking. A Spanish omelet, or tor
tilla, is also very nice, being served
in large, round shape, like a Her
man pancake, and flavored with
leeks cut up in it. The meats and
vegetables are mostly common to
the French cuisine, and need no
description, except to say that tiie
salads are excellent, with the best
of lettuce, fresh tomatoes, and other
concomitants. It is not uncommon
for tin 1 guests to make tlieir own
salad, calling for the separate ma
terials, including cold chicken, and
mixing up their own mayonnaise
from boiled eggs, oil, and viilegar
in due proportions. There are three
regular meat courses and a large
number of dishes to select from.
The dessert or postres consists of
fruit and duloes, the latter consist
ing either of pudding or custard or
of preserved fruits. This meal costs
sixty-two cents of Mexican money,
which is equivalent to about tlfty-
flve cents in American money. It
includes either ten, coffee or choco
late. The latter is usually taken
the last thing at the evening meal,
or eomida, the dinner, which is pre
cisely tlic same as the breakfast in
general character, the menu, how
ever, being hanged.
Turn Thumb's Willow Faints nt Ills tir..r.'.
A dispatch from Bridgeport,
Conn., describing the funeral of
'Tom Thumb, says: “Mrs. Stratton
was lifted from the carriage when
it reached the grave at I o’clock.
She was too weak to stand, and a
cushion was brought from the car
riage and laid on the ground at the
edge of the grave. 'The little widow
sat upon It, supported hy her moth
er and mother-in-law. 'The other
relatives gathered near hy. The
ceremonies lusted more than half
an hour. Mrs. Stratton became
more and mure agitated as they
proceeded, and Just as Prelate Dut
ton dropped the floral Masonic em
blem into the grave and the Knights
crossed their swords and begun to
clmut tlie closing hymn, her little
llgure shook for a moment with
strong emotion, and she fell hack
senseless into the arms of her moth
er, There were cries of pity from
the crowd that looked on, and hum
dmls of women watched with an
xiety till' ('Hurts to revive (he little
woman. Mr. South worth fluidly
lifted her in 11is arms and carried
, her to the carriage, She revived
was rolling home
ward.”
pear is called here, is a luscious, , ... , ,
fruit, full of weeds, sweet and re-1 .Subscriptions are positively cash
visions. His rulings were never
reversed hy the higher courts. He
showed no sentiment in decision.
He stood upon the platform of a law -
which lie made a study, and no
man disputed him.
Several days ago a woman charg
ed with misdemeanor was arraigned
before him. “The old man seems
more than ever unsteady,” remark
ed a lawyer as the magistrate took
his seat. “1 don’t set* how a man
so old can stand the vexations of a
court much longer.”
“I am not well to-day,” said the
judge, turning to tlie lawyers, “and
any cases that you may have you
will please dispatch them to the
best and, let me add, quickest of
your ability.”
Every one saw that the old man
was universally feeble, and no one
thought of a scheme to prolong a
discussion, for all lawyers had
learned to reverence him.
“Is tins the woman?” asked the
judge. “Who is defending her?”
“J have no defence, your honor,”
the woman replied. “In fact, I do
not think i need any, for I am here
to confess my guilt. No man can
defend me,” and she looked at the
magistrate with a curious gaze. “I
have been arrested on a charge of
disturbing the peace, and 1 am wil
ling to submit my case. I am dying
of consumption, judge, and I know
that any ruling made hy the law-
can have but little effect on me;”
and she coughed a hollow, hacking
cough; and drew around her an
old black shawl that she wore.
The expression on the face of the
magistrate remained unchanged,
but the eyelids dropped and lie did
not raise them when tlie woman
continued: “As I say, no man can
defend, J am too near that awful
approach, to pass which we know
is everlasting death to soul and
body. Years ago 1 was a child of
brightest promises. I lived with
my parents in Kentucky. Way
ward and light hearted, I was ad
mired hy till the gay society known
in tin 1 neighborhood. A man came
and professed liis love for me. 1
don’t say this judge, to excite your
sympathy. I have ninny and many
time been drawn before courts, hut
! never before spoke of my past
life.”
She coughed again nod caught a
flow of blood on a handkerchief,
which slit' pressed to her lips. “1
speak of it now - because 1 know
that this is tlie last court on earth,
before which I will he arraigned.
1 was fifteen years old when 1 fell
in love with the man. My father
said lit' was had, but I loved him.
He came again and again, and
when my father said that he should
come no more, I ran away and
married him. My father said I
should never come home again, I
had always been his pride and had
loved him so dourly, but lie said
that 1 must never again come to
his home—my home, the homo of
my youth and happiness. How 1
longed to sec him. How l yearned
to put my head on his breast. My
husband became addicted to drink,
lit' abused me. I wrote to my
father, asking ldm to let me come
home, hut the answer that came
was “l do not know you!” My hus
band died,yes, cursed Hod and died.
Homeless and wretched, and with
my lillle hoy, I went out Into the
world. My child died, and l bowed
down and wept over a pauper’s
grave. I wrote to my father again,
hut lie answered: “I know not those
who disobey my commandments!”
child was tolerably safe, ami when
ever it took to the sago brush lie
galloped alongside and drove it
hack. lie crossed the railroad
track in safety, and Martin, as lie
rode near the child, kept calling
out: “Hold on to the dash
board!” It needed no admonition
of any kind, as the child, with good
garni', was holding fast, as his,
white Lair streamed in the wind,
and ids nose just came to tlie edge
of tin' board. As tlie horse dashed I
into town, Martin managed hy a 1
combination of luck and good
judgment to keep him clear of other
teams, and hi) came down main
street on the gallop. When men
on the sidewalk saw the little hoy’s
head above the dashboard the ex
citement was intense, but whenev
er they rushed out, Mr. Martin
waved them hack, and so the horse
flow about town for about a quar
ter of an hour, until he came up
utterly fagged out in front of the
Elsworth House, The youngster
Har.VKSTtix, July 24.—A special
dispatch from Lampasas says that
a carriage containing the skeletons
of throe adults and two children sit
ting - bolt upright as if in life, under
n large tree, lias been found near
tho road in Llano county. The
tree was shattered hy lightning - . It
is supposed that the carriage
sought shelter under the tree and
was struck, tlie holt killing - tlie in
mates and horses. The weather
beaten appearance of the carriage
and its trimmings indicate that tlie
event happened a year ago. In a
trank was a letter addressed to
( ‘Jas, H. Chamberlain, London,
England,” The remains wore found
by a ranchman driving cattle, and
| the discovery was reported at once
to the authorities. The parties are
supposed to have boon tourists,
j The spot whore they wore found is
; very secluded and far from any
habitation.
Kurojjo DcihmhIIuj/on tin* l ulled Stilton.
St. Louis Post-Democrat*
It is ascertained that Europe’s
population lias increased 1 An,000 in
the last half century, and is increas
ing now at the rate of 4,000,000, be
sides sending abroad 1,000,000 emi
grants yearly, This growth lias so
far outrun food production that
Russia and Hungary are now the
| only European countries that count
on raising all of tlieir own food sup
ply, Forty years ago Great Britain
alone looked beyond her own soil
for breadstuff* anil provisions. Now
the utmost resources of the soil are
taxed in vain to feed the population
of Europe after Russia and Hun
gary are left out of the calculation-
in is.',!) the total value of our ex
ported food products was less than
$27,01)0,000. In hSSO it was sixteen
times as much, or nearly $440,000,-
(Tlie (True (Citizen*
Advertising Hates i
Transient mlvs. payable In ihlvunco*
(’out met n<lvs. payable (|ti»irh -rly,
('om bin nletil loiis lor person til benefit will be
churned for as ml vs., payable in advance.
Advs. oecuoylntr special position charged 25
per cent, additional.
Notices among reading matter LOecnts per
line, each insert ion.
Notices in Local A Ihislncss column, next to
reading, 5 cents per line each Insertion.
Ail notices will be placed among reading
matter if not specially ordered otherwise.
For terms apply at Ihisofllee.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS.
A youth went *>ul to sirenmli!
Tin' lmly whom liu loved lirst,
And pm;sod licncuth the mansion’
Where erst her elmmher used tu
i shade
rest.
ooo. Cattle on the remotest ranges
was taken out without a scratch, J f) f qi oxas an( ; Idaho now command
and on reaching the ground said
better prices than
he wanted to go home. Before noon ] the t . u ltivatod farms of the old
lie was delivered to it is mother
safe and sound, and there was great
rejoicing in Empire over his return.
It may he safely said that to All - .
Martin’s presence of mind the
child owes his life.
A 1'irllous IClilr.
Ilnsliin Dispatch to N. A*. Tribune.
E. H. Carson, of East Rochester,
N. II., has accomplished the re
markable feat of riding down Mount
Washington on a bicycle. He went
they brought on
Yt-
lantic States in lX-il). Wonderful as
our increase in population and pro
duction has been, it lias not more
than kept pace with the growth of
Europe’s demand for all the surplus
we can produce. Indeed, tlie in
crease of our disposable surplus is
becoming more and more a subject
of constant anxiety to tlie people of
Europe, their only assurance against
impending famine. European states
men know that tlieir dependence
ion us in this respect will become
The King of Dulmmcy’s Cannon.
up the mountain on Monday morn-1 lnore nnd lnore absolute in spite of
ing from Horlmm, and dismounting j tho glvntly increased emigration to
about three miles from the (Ron, Lj, t , p’ n ;t 0 d State-
completed the journey of eleven j
miles to the summit of Mount
Washington on foot, pushing ids
wheel in advance. His machine
was the American Star Bicycle,
whoso peculiarity consists in the
small wheel being placed in front
of the large one. The eight miles
from the (Ren were passed in two
hours and forty-live minutes,
resting some time upon the sum
mit he started upon his dangerous
journey, while the guests at the
Summit House almost held their
bronth for his safety us he wheeled
rapidly round the steep bond just
below the house. Upon reaching
more favorable ground he forged
rapidly ahead, though it could he
Sail ITniiclsco l'nst.
The King of Dahomey received
an invoice of Krupp cannon not
long ago, and conceived the idea of
having them mounted on elephants’
hack for use in tlie Held. With
much difficulty this project was
After carried out, and at the next military
review the King ordered that one
of the guns he tired immediately in
front of the royal position, first tak
ing the precaution to place a couple
of prisoners about where it was
calculated the hall would strike, so
tis to judge of the effectiveness of
tin' shot.
When all was ready one of the
seen that the brakes were constant-] biggest elephants was hacked
ly in application. around and sighted. Jpst as the
Another sharp turn near the gulf lanyard was Jerked, however, the
was salel.v passed, and the machine animal turned half round to reach
was behaving beautifully, the pro- for u peanut or something and the
cedence of the small wheel prevent
ing any liability of “headers,” and
also serving as a powerful brace in
cast' of obstructions met in tin*
road.
The half-way house was soon
shell took off the Prime Minister’s
head and knocked a hole as big as
a sewer through the palace. His
Majesty wouldn’t have cared so
much if the matter had ended there
]—as Ihi' Minister wasn’t very prime
gained, and the rider breathed and the palace needed ventilation—
more freely, the steep dills which but It didn’t. On the contrary, the
border the first half of the way elephant, which had been stood on
being trying to the strongest nerves. J his head hy the recoil, picked itself
Tho remainder uf tho journey was U p in a fury and started in on the
made in perfect safety, the brakes down grade ahead of Its ticket. It
being effective in spite of the steep- j upset the grand stand the llrst rush,
ness of the road. The Hlon was shing the grand chamberlain and
reached about I o’clock, the descent ] past grand carver of missionaries
having been accomplished in about | into the next street, it then Jumped
one hour and IIfty minutes, and llm
rider met with a warm reception
from tlie guests. After a brief res
pite, tin' wheelman, continued on
Ills way toward Jackson. Mr. (’ar
son recently performed a similar
feat among the mountains of Maine.
The Sherman
Into tlu> brass hand with ail four
feet, and if it hadn't gut the big
drum over its head so Rod it couldn't
see, would probably have cleaned
out the entire congregation. 'The
King was not found until the next
morning, and then, as he slid down
i out of a banana tree, ho was under-
I , i stood to remark that there was only
cat( ip i s mivi! |t|,j Mg needed to render Ids new
made their appearance in Muscogee artillery system an entire success—
county. | that was to get the enemy to adopt It,
Ilo vnrbli'il mi ilu' morning lliflit
runic dancing o’er I lie hilltops’ rim,
Dot no I'nlr nmhli'ii blent Ids sight,
Ami till see ineil (lurk ami ilrcar to him.
AVilh heart aglow and eyes ablaze,
lie drew much nearer I lian before,
Win'll, to Ids horror and amaze,
He suv “Tu 1st” upon the door.
Cold comfort—Ice water.
Corn isn’t shocked by electricity.
The country for good appetites—
11 angary.
No sea-captain over dreamed of
fore-castles III the air.
The best thing in print—A pretty
girl In a calico dress.
It is a good tiling to he deaf, when
a slanderer begins to talk.
Why is a deacon like a hat-hand?
Because lie passes around the hat.
Cheek is one of the hardest-work
ed business oapitals in the country.
What is tho greediest of all living
things!) A bird, because it takes
several pecks at a meal.
'The Shah of Persia lias become a
raving maniac. Wo always said
that one wife was enough for any
man.
Bright considers weddings occa
sions of sadness, and we know of
several married men who agree
with him.
A portable hen-coop is recom
mended by poultry raisers. The
plan has long been favored hy
chicken thieves.
A Nebraska paper offers a circus
ticket as a premium to new sub
scribers. 'This reward of merit is
less deadly than tlie cliromo.
Every man who carries a pistol
ought to be obliged hy law to carry
it at his side and label it “(.‘mo
tional insanity.”
IIow a lady in Boston accepted
two husbands on one wedding day.
She married a man for a husband, a
Mr. Husband for a man.
The festive cockroach toils not,
neither docs he spin, yet Solomon,
in all his glory, could not make a
raid on a plate of butter like one of
them.
There are seven thousand species
offish known to men of science.—
The man of science must be a blam
ed sight luckier than tho average
fisherman.
See the eternal fitness of things.
A silver dollar of 1804 was recently
sold for $104, while the silver dollar
of the present day is worth about
seventy-eight cents. This is pro
gress.
“There’s music in the air,” re
marked Brown, as the sound of the
piano in tlie next house filled his
ears. “Yes,” replied Fogg, “there’s
music in the air, no doubt; hut
mighty little of it in that woman’s
accompaniment.”
A young gentleman who was
passing an examination in physics.
IB' was asked: “What planets were
known to the ancients?” “Well,
sir,” he responded, “there were
Venus and Jupiter, and (after a
pause) I think tho earth; but I’m
not quite certain.”
A happy family: “I suppose,”
said tlie man in tlie easy chair,
“that my wife and I are the most
contented couple you over saw.—
We never quarrel about nothing.
She is always willing to got up in
tlie morning and build the lire, and
1 am perfectly willing to lot her.”
A St. Louis butcher has eloped
with a neighbor's wife. Hometiling
should lx* doin' with these butchers.
A butcher who will charge a cus
tomer twenty-five cents a pound for
beef and then walk off with that
man’s rib, should ho ground in
one of his own sausage machines.
In one of ids recent sermons Tnl-
magesiiys: “Encourago tlie news
paper, for you know not with what
annoyance they go through,” That’s
a fact. One of tin* worst annoy
ances a newspaper has to contend
with is opening forty different coun
try newspapers, ouch having one of
Talmnge’s sermons printed on the
outside. That is one of tlit* annoy
ances that drive Journalists to pro
fanity and beer.— ’/'e.cttx SiJ'/int/e,
Satan—“Who are you ?” “A hank
cashier,” “Defaulter?” “Yes.” “Hum
much?” “Two million dollars. 1 ’
“Felix, give him a top seat, away
from the tlr«», where it is nice and
cool. Never mind thanking me,
Mr. Cashier; you’re welcome. Bat
who is tills?” No. 2—“A bank
cashier.” “Defaulter?” “Yes.” “How
much?” “Eight thousand dollars.”
“Here, Felix, take tills fellow and
give hint a seat right on top of the
stovy,”