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Volume 2.
Waynesboro, Georgia, Friday, Augaist 1.7th, 188*1,
The Augusta Xrirs noticing tln>
ruint»f that the yellow fever was in
Augusta, which rumor the Neirx
talo s from the Port Royal, S. (',,
emphatically denies the re
port. We heard the same rumor,
l,ut feeling satisfied that it was un
true, would not give it currency.
The Rev. Atticus G. llaygood,
President of Emory College, as
usual, has occupied his summer va
cation traveling around making
speeches, every word of which is an
insult to the pimple of Oeorgia. It
is shrewdly suspected that the Rev.
gentleman gets large pay for thus
humiliating his State.
The following cool threat is pro
mulgated hy the Augusta, Gn.,
]iaptist, colored:
“The colored men of Georgia are
hoginning to understannd their
rights us citizens of our common
country, and propose to insist upon
their recognition. Georgia is the
common heritage of all her chil
dren, whether white, black, gray, or
green, and all should recognize the
fact. Three-fourths of a million of i or mercy. It is merely one of
the people of the State are colored. | (lay ( . X( .'itement. it is'like the
Kxmitlon hi Ihirinnh.
A IUirmah correspondent of the
Philadelphia 7Ve.SK asked his com
panion whether many executions
took place there now, and he re
plied: “There has be 'em none for
several weeks, because the palace
intrigues have kept everybody in
authority too busy scheming, plot
ting and planning to allow them to
get up a public execution; but not
many months ago I saw a lend of a
score' or more' men and women mur
dered on this sanguinary hillock.—
Some of the victims had royal blood
in them, and they were not butch
ered in the common way. Imagine
to yourself a. Princess charmingly
dressed in silk and jewels, with
flowers intertwined in her Jet black
hair, being pushed or goaded up
tiiis liill. The crowd of spectators
clustered in the rice fields there, or
perched upon the roofs of the hous
es you see peeping forth among the
mango trees over against us on our
extreme right, set up a shout of pity
lioll-
llorirtn'K llroHir
II, popuhliiur Ircluuil.
Wonderful We ll.
CmcAoo, August- !>.— Dr. Henry
Meyer, the alleged wife-poisoni r,
was arrested in Lake View to-day,
and lodged in j
which Detective
was known that the much-sought-
for doctor would sleep at the house
of John Logeman last night, but
the capture was delayed till this
morning, because the house in
which lie was concealed was isola
ted, surrounded by heavy timber,
and guarded by two large mastitis,
whose deep-toned bark would give
of a stranger’s approach. Parly
this morning detectives Stift and
Haas accompanied by ollicer liner,
in citizen’s clothing, arrived at the
building before any warning had
been given by the hounds, which
were luckily chained. The officers
made a dash for the side door,
which was open. Mrs. Logeman
and a lady friend were at breakfast.
Airs. Logeman used every means to
obstruct the officers, and refused to
permit them to go up stairs, the
London, August 10.—The Stun- solum Times.
,hint this morning says that the Selma can boast of what is per-
g'owrnment has decided to provide imps the most wonderful well in
' On information an additional sum ot «L 100,000 to aid the world. This sounds like a start-
,Stift obtained, it! Irish emigration, the money to be ling statement, but it is not an in-
taken from tin 1 Rritish exchecquer accurate one. There is a well
,. i, iiivu mi- mar-1 pnssage to the floor above being
bet the \\ bites iccogmze that, and hear once at Now I harred by a door which was locked,
allow them to be Georgians without M 11 11,11 (,1 l u <u •
trouble, otherwise they will be re-1 £ a te when the felon appeared upon | 1 he olncers obtained a step-ladder,
cognized through trouble. The the scaffold, or in the Place do an( l obtained an entrance through
conservative and sober-thinking Grove when the victim’s head was 1 11 window to the second story, and
white people owe it to themselves
and to the best interests of the
State to prevent these outrages un
der the guise of law.”
When a negro starts a paper in
the South, its soot colored editor
seems to think that his whole bus
iness is to abuse the white people.—
The “outrage under the guise of
laid on the block lreneath the guillo
tine. The sun is pouring down its
brilliant rays, which appear to con
centrate with their greatest bright
ness on this hillock. ()ne execution
er unbinds the girl’s raven hair,
throws th(> pretty flowers away,
twists a tress of it around his hands
law,” spoken of in the above threat-1 and pulls her head violently back-
ruing paragraph from the Augusta I ward. Another executioner grasps
consisted of
Baptist, colored,
ollicer arrest in;
being resisted
forced to shoot the thief. It is just
sack teachings as this which makes
nine-tenths of the criminals and
nine-tenths of the convicts colored,
and this teaching of the colored
people that other people’s property
was “common heritage,” has al
ready cost them dearly. We “re
cognize” tlu> fact that these colored
papers are an incubus upon the
advancement of the colored race,
and the sooner they “recognize it
the better for them. We know of
no “rights” of which the colored
population arc barred of, and if this
soot colored genian’ wishes to in
augurate an era of “trouble,” as lie
terms it, by his incendiary teach
ings, he will discover that there are
about a million of white people in
the State who propose to take care
of their “rights” either with or
without “trouble.”
bamboo bludgeon
began a search. 'Their efforts were
soon rewarded, for concealed on
the floor of a closet, with a lot of
old dresses and unwashed linen
piled over him was Dr. Meyer. As
soon as discovered, the prisoner
cried out: “1 surrender; don’t abuse
me;” and went along quietly. Mr.
Logeman was in a great rage, and
said hi' would invoke the law
against the officers. The doctor ar
rived at the jail with the other
criminals. A bail bond of $8,000
was given by the wife of the prison-
the i>oor I 01 ‘ U11< I Logeman as sureties, and
Meyer left in their 'company. lie
ar
ia
this city, out of which constantly
flows two separate streams of wa
ter, as different in all respects as if
they were from openings far apart.
In fact, there are two wells in one.
Onestrenm runs about twenty gal
lons per minute, and is cold free
stone water. The second is impreg
nated with sulphur and iron, while
its temperature is warm as com
pared with its twin. The streams
are entirely separate and distinct,
do not mix with each other in the
least, and any one can observe and
taste the essential differences above
noted. They are easily manifest to
the eye and taste.
But how can such a paradox ex
ist ? Well, it is like the story told
in one of Mark Twain’s sketches, in
with both
a cattle thief, and , hands. One, two, three! lie swings
uul assaulted, was' it in the air, and down it falls upon
that outstretched throat. One, two,
three, and again it strike
gasping victim on the same place.
The body falls lifeless, though still ! informed the officers that
quivering. The Princess is''dead.— 1,lvi ’ (l in New York last Saturday,
Her body is cast aside disdainfully.; 1111(1 1,111 1,0(>n 111 concealment with
“Then, look at this other group of | lie Bogeman family, it was his
men hustling a handsome young j Detention to have left the house as
Burmese in their midst—hauling at S(),m 11S lu> Mud <>! den breakfast, and
him, tugging at him, to get him to 1,11,1 the officers come twenty min
tin'summit of the mound, lie al- ull ' s la ^ or they would not have
so is of royal blood. Pride of race found him. The doctor is charged
and that disregard for death which with causing- the death hy poison
buoys up your true Buddhist as °f his first xvile and Henry Golilor-
strongly as does the fatalism of the llian > 111 October, 1 He subse-
Wahabee, preserves equanimity in j quontly married Gclderman’s wid-
his deportment. He has flung some-' n " > " 1,0 ls llls present wile, her
thing away over among the crowd, j (1(>ai1 husband having H'ft .T-b>,o(u».
it is not his cheroot. He is done Be then, it is alleged, entered into
with it, and long before the' brown 11 cospiraey to poison his present
urehan who has picked it up willj" 11( '’ 11,1(1 n °iirl t v succeeded. He
brave blown the last embers from it i 1,ls<> proposed to l’ofer Betz dial the
the spark of life of its original own-1 Bitter marry a wealthy young lady
or will have joined the elements, ; v > h ( >m lie selected, with a view to
and one more Buddhist soul will l ,u * s0111l 'ff Ber,
instead of from the church surplus
fund. A meeting in favor of State-
aided emigration was held at.the
Mansion House to-day. Karl
Siiaftsbury presided. A resolution
was offered providing for the send
ing of 200,0110 persons to Calcutta
and other British colonies for pro
curing them farms in their new
homes, the money for the purchase
of the lands to he advanced by the
State which is to take mortgages on
the farms as security for payment.
The resolution, which was support
ed by the Archbishop of Can tur
bary, was adopted. It is proposed
to send 100,000 families to Canada
next spring.
Patrick O’Brine, who, with Mi
chael Ilyndes and Fredrick Slater,
was arrested here in May last, on a which a sailor explains many of the
charge of spreading circulars ealeu- miraculous accounts told* in the
lated to damage jurors who had sat Bible. It is perfectly simple if
on various tri
been convicted
six months imprisonment. Hyndes plained by the application of famil-
and Slater were discharged. j inr natural science laws. In this
1 instance the following facts make
A (unous lloslricliou in»Deed. | ^ v
| the apparent impossibility an easily
Recently Mr. Jonathan Mann, of j conceived actuality.
Milton, presented to the Frist Bap-1 The wonderful well can be seen at
tist Church in Fast Dedham, a the Central City Oil Mills. A few
piece of land upon which to build a years ago the proprietors had bored
parsonage. The deed to the land i an artesian well to supply a cistern
contains the following restrictions: for boiler and gin purposes. This
“The minister or ministers who j summer, when an enlargement of
shall occupy the parsonage created i the mill’s capacity was made, it was
on this land, shall not preach or decided that more water was nec-
teach in Christ’s temple any mat- essary, and that the flow of the well
tens pertaining to this world except j must be increased. Accordingly,
in such as were taught by Christ.— Air. F. A. Jackson, the noted arte-
II is preachings and teachings shall J sian well borer, was engaged to ox-
bo the praise and glory of Christ, acute the task. 'The existing well
Number IF
(THRKNT UI.K VMMiS.
lls in
and
Dublin, has
sentenced to
you will set your head to work to
think it out. It can he easily ex-
Tho Legislature would benefit the
people if it would pass a law requi
ring justices of the peace or others
who are expected to administer the
law, to take a legal course of study,
ami he examined and pronounced
competent, before they are eligible
to the office of justice of the peace,
or other office in which a knowl
edge of the law is necessary. .No
judicial officer should be allowed
to pass on legal questions until he
knows something of the law.—l)oo-
l/l Vindicator.
Our Dooly contemporary-must be
a lawyer, and a very young lawyer
at that. In the first place he seeks
to create a monopoly for the pro
fession; and secondly, if he was a lit
tle older, and would give the sub
ject a little cooler thought, he must
he convinced that such a law as he
proposes would be at once impracti
cable and prohibitory. Where
could a man he found in the country
districts (and nearly all the districts
nre in the country), where these
ollieers are so much deeded, who
could he induced to take a course
“I law study to render himself “eli
gible” to an office the fees of which
scarcely pay for the blanks used?—
Many of the justices of peace do not
"ant the office, and hold it simply
hocauseof the Importunity of their
neighbors and the citizens of the
(list riel, and if such a law was made
could not and would not have the
oillcc, 'Thus it will be seen at a
glance that such a law would
amount to a practical abrogation of
tlm niTu'i>, much to the inconven
ience of nil fho country districts,
"hose citizens could not have a
paper w itnessed without the trouble
“t travelling' miles to find a “com-
pcti'iil” officer. The delays which
"nuld necessarily arise would often
cause irremediable losses, criminals
"nuld escape, and a thousand otlu
have started off on its vast career
of transmigration. See, he stands
there cool, collected, his profile a
clear, dark outline against the un
cloudedsky. A high cheek-boned
executioner seizes his long, black
hair in front and pulls his head for
ward until his chin adjoins his
breast. The second executioner
spits on his hand, grasps his bam
boo club (irmly, and wliish! w hisk!
thi' bludgeon hisses through the air
and falls on the nape of the neck of
the victim. He falls forward on his
face, the first executioner still hold
ing on the hair. A second blow on
the back of the neck, while the man
lies prostrate, settles the matter.—
An experienced touch on the red
and bruised necks tells the execu
tioner that the vertebra is broken
and that life has fled. Once more
the body is spurned aside, and more
victims are dragged up the hill.—
But these latter are only common
victims and are killed in a common
way.”
whom he
uul obtaining he;
money. Detectives and chemist.-
have been two years accumulating
evidence agaisl the doctor.
A Drldc* ina I’Ioug'.
Victoria Post.
About six or seven weeks ago,
the steamship from Man Francisco
brought a number of hands for the
railway works at Yale. Amongthe
number were two who seemed to
be greatly attached to each other.—
The elder was a man of about sixty,
quite plain in appearance, but evi
dently a well educated gentleman.
'The younger appeared to be about
sixteen years of age, with a remark
ably winning face, wearing a large
hat drawn well over his eyes, small
hands and natty little feet. With
the party these two left for Yale,
and immediately commenced work
on the road, the supposed boy doing
his share of the sawing and chop
ping with thi' rest,and gaining many
friends by his gentle and unobtru
sive manners. After about ten or
twelve days, the elder of the two
They struck. | friends became sick, anil had to be
removed to the hospital where he
Now York World, was followed and nursed by his de-
A teacher finding it difficult to j voted little companion. 'The niedi-
obtaln the prompt attendance of | cal attendants, however, soon dis-
the boys in her class, resolved to! covered that the supposed youth
adopt a plan which she fell sure I was a young lady, and the wife of
would be successful. She said to I the sick man, She was immediate-
the boys: ly taken to the house of a lady liv-
“Now, 1 will give a bright penny ing at Yalp, where, after discarding
to each one who will be in their | her male attire and assuming more
and that which pertains to the eter
nal happiness of the souls of the
children of men, and only this.—
Should he fail to do this, he shall
be warned to leave the premises.—
Should there be a complaint
brought against the minister of the
church for having broken this cov
enant, his judges shall be three-
fourths of all the members of his
church, and their decision shall be
final. By the giving of this land,
Jonathan Mann, the giver,his heirs,
and assigns, executors and admin
istrators shall have no claim
upon said land, nor to bring suit
for damages against the church or
society on account thereof. Should
the church or society break or
cause to be broken, the covenant
they have entered into with the
giver oftlie land whereon to build
their parsonage, their trial and con
demnation shall be by that Christ
whom they have professed to wor
ship; (his is their penaltv, and only
this.
Noult's \rk Discovcri'il.
A Constantinople paper announ-
was bored on the old plan. It was
about four inches in diameter, and
four hundred feet deep. Air. .Jack-
son set up his apparatus to deepen
this well, and bored downward from
the bottom. The second drill on
the new plan was tilled as it went
downward with a two inch pipe.—
Tins boring was continued to a
depth of over seven hundred feet,
when the usual bold stream ofsul-
phur-iron water at that depth in
this city was struck. It is forced out
to a height of twenty-live feet above
the surface, and discharges fully
sixty gallons per minute. Thus the
paradox is made reasonable. There
is simply a well within a well, a
stream within a stream, a two-inch
pipe within a four-inch bore. 'The
outer stream comes from a source
of supply four hundred feet deep,
has no mineral qualities and is cold,
the inner stream comes from a
depth of seven hundred feet deep,
perhaps from the iron hills of the
northern part of the State, and is of
the higher temperature invariably
found in the water from greater
depths. Such is the story of Selma’s
the discovery of Noah’s Ark.— most wonderful well, a concise out-
11 appears that some 'Turkish com
missioners, appointed to investigate
the question of avalanches on Alount
Ararat, suddenly came upon a gi
gantic structure of very dark wood
protruding from a glacier. They
made inquiries of the inhabitants.—
I hose had seen it for six years, but
had been afraid to approach it, be
cause a spirit of fierce aspect had
been seen looking out of the upper
window. Turkish eommi
are, however, bold
line of the conditions of which is
more mvsterious than a fairy tale.
A Ntivi't which Snloke.s
places every Sunday,”
'The plan seemed to work well un
til one Sunday not a boy appeared
in his place. 'The teacher was .sur
prised and somewhat discouraged
that her plan had not succeeded.—
But the next day, while walking
down street thinking what to do
next, she met one of the boys and
•ncoiiveniencies arise for the lack of
11 “legal course of study” justice of <.mid to him :
'“e peace. Besides all this, the law “Well, JohnnI
'eiiders it easy to have any Judicial 1 yesterday ?”
'Incision of a justice of the peace re-1 “At home, mum,”
'“'Wed hy the Superior Court and j “But why did you and 11 u
errors corrected. We had much hoys not come to Sunday
i.illier risk the decisions of many
1,1 'lie old Justices of the peace,
"liusojndgmcnt Is sound and whose
"Hiesty is unimpeachable, than
•Lise of any little, pettifogging law-
.'ei'ia the land. Any member of the
“'gislatare who would introduce
mpport such a bill would, and
' l| kht to he, relegated to home In-
'“'tries, Does the Vindicator see
Hie river?
where were you
other
chool
and get your pennies?”
“< Hi, teacher, ’cause we’ve si ruck ;
we won’t come for less than two
cents now.”
We are not Informed as to how
long the strikers held out,or wheth
er the advance was granted.
'The Seventh and Eighth G
regiments are trying to get up
reunion at Clarksville.
befitting garments, she disclosed
the fact, that with her husband she
had eloped from San Francisco,
where her father and stepmother
resided, 'They had objected to her
choice, and wanted her to accept
the attentions of a man she dis
liked. Her lover persuaded her to
leave home, and after being mar
ried, they took the steamer for Vic
toria, the young w ife disguised as a
boy in order elude pursuit,
'The enthusiasm and admiration
of the rough men with whom the
young lady had worked knew no
bounds wlien they learned that
their quiet little companion was a
girl, and that she had endured the
hardships of a camp life in order to
be near her husband. The husband
returned to San Francisco a fort
night ago, leaving his wife with
some kind friends at Mile. Having
secured a house and furnished it,
lie wrote to the young wife to come,
and the brave little lady arrived
down by the steamer It. P, Rithet.
She sailed for San Francisco on the
Dakota to join her husband.
rod by such tritles, and they determ
ined to reach it. Sit uated as it was
amongthe tiistuosses of one oftlie
glens; of Alount Ararat, it was a
work of immense difficulty, and it
was only after incredible hardship
that they succeeded, 'The Ark, one
will be glad to hear, was in a good
state of preservation, although the
angles—observe not the bow or
stern—had been a good deal broken
in its decent. 'They recognized it at
once, 'There was an Englishman
among them, who had presumably
read his Bible, and he saw it was
made ot t lie ancient gopher wood of
Scripture, which, as every one
knows, only grows on the ulains of
N. V. Tribune.
The surface of Spruce street, a
thoroughfare which gives entrance
to Passaic Falls grounds at Rater-
son, N. J., is emitting smoke and
noxious gasses. The street has
been widened within the past few
ioners I months by cutting away the rocks
men, not deter-' in one place, and by dumping vari
ous refuse to form an embankment
on one side toward a chasm in an
other,and this embankment has a
number of cracks in its face, w hich
emit smoke and so much heat that
a person’s hand cannot bear con
tact. 'The filling in was done to a
large extent by dumping cinders,
slag and coal screanings from the
locomotive shops. 'The cinders and
ashes were dumped while still hot,
and have set tire to the coal screen
ings, and are smouldering under
the surface ol the street. The lire
has eaten its way to a part oftlie
street where no hot ashes were ev
er dumped, and even there the
smoke and smell issue. 'This is ex
ilic Fuphrntes. Effecting an on- plained by (he fact that trees were
trance into the structure, which was felled in some places to till in the
painted brown, they found that the | k'aps in the rugged
Admirably requirements for the
conveyance o! horses had been car
ried out, and the interior was divi
de! into partitions tlfteen feet high.
Into three of these only could they
the rugged road. These
trees have now caught tire from the
subterranean cinder beds, and are
smouldering into charcoal. A house
occupied by a man named Chap
man stands almost over the smok-
get, the others being full of ice, and ! ing ground, and the smoke and
how far the Ark extended into the [ gasses go up into the cellar, and
glacier they could not tell, If, how-! make the Inmates sick. 'The water
ever, on befog uncovered It.turns company’s pipes are to be tapped
out to be BOO cubits long, it w ill go in such a way as to irrigate the un-
hard with disbelievers in (he book
ol Genesis, “Needless to say,” says
Hie /.'o// Mult (iazclte, “an Ameri
can was soon on the spot, and ne
gotiations have been entered into
with the local Puchu for its speedy
transfer to the Fnited States.
derground beds of lire and extin
guish the embers. 'The phenomi-
non attracts a large crowd of curi
ous spectators.
A case against tho Western Fn-
ion telegraph company has been
commenced by a man in Walton
county named Ray, for failing to
forward a message telling him of
.I. . .. , , torwurd a message telling mm
v ubsertpiious are positively cash j the dangerous illness of his w ife.
Deaths from Cholera.
London, August 1 I.—There were
<b.i deaths from cholera in Fgypt on
Alonday, including six at Cairo.
(Jermany on American
London, August 14.—The Ger
man government has notified the
Austrian government that all pig
(lash imported into Germany from
Austria must be accompanied by a
certificate that it is not American
meat.
Itn.siiicss in Clayton Court.
Atlanta (’onstitutlon.
'The Clerk of the Superior Court
reports two hundred and four cases
ready for trial at the next term of
the court. Judge Hammond will
have to hold for two weeks, and
push business rapidly to get
through.
Mechanics Wanted.
Tavares, (Kin.,) Itci'nltl.
Will our exchanges make a note
ol the fact that a number of carpen
ters are wanted in Tavares, Fla., at
once, who can get steady work for
at least one year—and perhaps lon
ger. A very large number of build
ings are to be constructed which
are delayed for want of skilled la
bor. No doubt there are in many
parts of the country good carpen
ters who cannot get work, and to
these an opportunity offers such as
they may not get again.
A Xiitunil Curiosity.
l’auUlhiff County New Km.
Air. Wes. W. Smith has certainly
an eye for the rare and the beauti
ful. He brought into our office
a small insect he had captured near
his school house during one of his
strolls, and while studying the
beauties and deformities of nature
that possessed peculiar character
istics, a worm incased in a cocoon
composed of shells, enrols, minute
crustocol, etc., which surrounding
constituted the domicil of the worm.
No naturalist has ever classified
Professor Wesley Smith’s curiosity
and he justly deserves the honor of
the discovery.
A liurc Curiosity.
Bninbridgo Democrat.
We were permitted to examine
the rarest curiosity in the way of a
newspaper the other day that we
have ever seen, and one which must
bo seen to be properly appreciated.
This newspaper in its days was call
ed the “Prison Times,” and was
published in that pen of death, Fort
Delaware, in the year 1805. The
issue before us is dated April 1st,
lsi;."i, anil contained the following
table of contents: Salutatories
miscellany, advertisements, edito
rials, local affairs, the markets,
Christian association directory, de
bating clubs directory, original poe
try, barracks directory, musical as
sociation, chess clubs.
The entire work of publishing
this paper was done with the pen—
although it is a sheet of four pages
with three columns to the page.—
It was published by Captain J. W.
11ibb, IB Virginia Infantry; Captain
GeorgeS. 'Thomas, tilth Ga., Lieu
tenant, A. Harris, Bil Florida.
Advertising rates were oh cents
per square.
The issue before us is the proper
ty of Air. Clms. W. Wimberley and
was brought from Fort Delaware
by his lamented father, who be
stowed much labor upon the paper
himself.
A (apt it ml Kluir Hot unit'd.
Dks Al dinks, Iowa, August 11.—
Adjutant-General Alexander has
just recorded the return of the bat
tle Hag of the Third Iowa regiment,
ucompanied by the following letter:
“This 11 ag was captured about the
21th of July, ISlil, near Atlanta. I
was at the time major of cavalry,
and on the staff of General Joseph
F. Johnston, where 1 remained
until I was surrendered by him in
North Carolina. When General
Johnston was relieved of (lie com
mand of the army, 1 remained with
him, and had nothing to do with the
engagement that the Hag figured
in, as General Hood was in com
mand. Aly sister, now Airs. Laura
J. Pickett, then Miss Laura J. AIus-
sengall, was living near Columbus,
tin., on my father’s plantation, and
was on u visit to my family, whom
1 had quartered temporarily near
Atlanta. General Pat Cleburne
was a very warm friend of our fam
ily, and particularly so of my sister
Laura. I fc- took this Hag during
the engagement referred to, and
presented it to her the next day as
a relic of the w ar. She put it away
in a cedar chest, and lost sight of
it until a few days ago, when she
accidentally discovered it. 1 regret
it was not found long ago, for then
it would have been returned
promptly to its proper owner. My
sister has written two or three
friends who were officers in the
same engagement, and {f any new
lads can be had \\e. will send them
to you. Yuurs truly,
H, 10, Al VSSKNCIALL.
<The (True (Citizen.
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HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS.
A V K( J KTA H I A N T K A M 1\
11 is (juince from a pear of potato eyes
AVas wicked indeed, and all fertilize
Was bis cornstalk loud and bis peach, well
known,
Was: “Mister! Say, will you lettuce a loan?”
His shoes bad leeks and his coat lmd taros;
If a dogwood bark he would have some
scares,
His breath wan melon of rye and he
Was Just as seedy as one could be.
Ho wasn’t a human bo-aid at all.
Hi* took bis thyme when he made a call,
To a peas his hunger ho much he’d eat ,
That is artichoke the ravenous beet.
—-H. (’. Donn.
It hears the palm—The hand.
Fruitful of trouble—Green apples.
Roped in—Principals in a prize
fight.
A talc you can’t peruse—Tho
wasp’s.
Tho early swimmoY catches the
cramps.
Vaulting ambition—The design
of the lmnk burglar.
“Open bars” are not desirable at
hotels infested with mosquitoes.
The Brooklyn bridge is a great
novelty, hut people arc beginning
to get over it.
“Very few people nowadays suf
fer from suggestions of the brain,”
says Al rs. Partington.
"When a newspaper becomes an
organ there is always a crank con
nected with the establishment.
A man in Rochester lias such a
cracked voice that he rarely says
anything without breaking his
word.
The Directors of a Chicago hank
found their toller’s account balanc
ed to a cent. He was hustled off to
an insane asylum.
Rev. Robert Collyor confesses. “If
my wife says there is to lie a wash
day dinner, I have an engagement
dowu-town.”
Atlanta lias a female harbor
whose sign facetiously reads: ‘Man
wants hut little hair below, nor
wants that little tong.”
A story writer has finished a
sketch called “Lifted out of herself,’
in which the heroine went out
yachting and got seasick.
They are now making thirteen
different kinds of barbeil-wiro.fenc
ing, and a cow which desires to
commit suicide has her pick of
many beautiful patterns.
l)r. Rorus Clarke says, “Over the
pulpits of some clergymen the
mechanic’s sign might well he
placed—‘All kinds of twisting anil
turning done here.’ ”
White trousers will again He in
style this summer, a fortunate thing
for tlie dudes, as they can buy
them cheap at any grocery. Alaea-
roni stems don’t cost much.
“When you are in Rome you
must do as Romans do,” as tho
American tramp said when he
squatted on the steps of a cathedral
in the Eternal City and held out his
hat.
A man looking over his wash,
which the laundress had just
brought home, remarked that he
could very well understand how his
nether garments might- shrink up,
hut what puzzled him most was
how tlie rutiles grew on eaeli leg.—
Baltimore B'rcri/ Suturduj/.
“You are too big for that now,”
said a thoughtful mother to a little
girl who had been playing out of
doors making mud pies with the
hoys. 'Tlie reply given was all im
aginable innocence: “'The bigger
we grow the better we likes to piny
with them.”
An excited old maid in a temper
ance lodge a few evenings since
read an original poem entitled,
“The Lips'That'Touch Liquor Shall
Never 'Touch Al iae,” and the young
men present gave her three cheers
hut no kisses—Jersey City Jouriiui.
“'The last link is broken” the fel
low said, when he kissed his girl
good bye at her request because her
parents wished a dissolution. A
few days after lie received a note,
saying, “Dear George, there are
plenty more links. Come and break
them.”
Air. Bergh, tlm H. P. C. A. mail,
says it is cruelty to animals to catch
11 s 11 with a hook. There wouldn’t
he much fun in fishing if a man lmd
to dive under the water and held
chloroform to a fish’s nose until it-
became unconscious, and then hit
it on the head with a hammer.—
Xorrixtomi Herald,
A simple ami inexpensive jail Is
that belonging to Naples county,
Idaho. It fs a hole in the ground
ten foot deep, into which the prison
er is dropped, and out of .which he
cannot climb, as the hole Is larger
at the bottom than the top. When
the prisoner is wanted the guards,
drop a line and pull him up on It-