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SIT IV ELY O A S II.
Volume 2.
Waynesboro, Georgia, Friday, March 7th, 1884,
Number 42.
_JP* $rui 0tix*tt.
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All notices will be placod amonft reading
matter If not specially ordered otherwise.
For terms apply at this office.
liislmp Pierce is reported to be in
worse health than usual.
There was a slight fall of snow in
itoiiie on the morning of the 4th
instant*
pnson eounty is out of debt and
l, as money in her coffers. That
shows good management.
Six months in the chain gang is
the fate of a Griffin colored man who
tried to steal a box of eggs from the
express office in that place last Sat
urday night.
Large lots of money, provisions
an d clothing ltns been raised in
Vtheiis for (he cyclone sufferers.—
The people are in great need, hav-
iost everything.
The Lumpkin Gazette says, the
rohin now hops fearlessly along
the sidewalks, and the sling shot
hangs idly on the wall. The small
hoy has the kite fever.
From Athens two trappers went
down the Oconee some time ago,
report good trapping of the otter,
but no beavers. They claim to
make from $7 to $10 a night with
their traps.
For some time past something
appeared to lie the matter witli the
organ of the Baptist church at
Hartwell, and upon investigation
last Saturday a dead toad was
found inside the instrument.
Two men, Cox and House, and a
woman named Potts, have been ar
rested on suspicion of being the
parties who entered the house of
Mr. Silas Brown, of Troupe county,
recently, and robbed him of $500.
The Savannah Times says that
postal cards are circulated all over
that city offering $100 reward for
William Burke, a native of Geor
gia, who is wanted by the United
States Marshal of Kansas, for
''rand larceny.
A petition has been received by
the city council of Augusta from
citizens of the new territory along
the Savannah and Milledgoville
road, asking for exemption from
taxation for five years. It has not
yet been acted on.
Published b)/ request,
TO MY Fill EM)—111 M, TAUT.
The following poem was written nbout
forty years ago by llr. K. .1. Carter, to Mr.
Win. IT. Hturges, who was familiarly known
In those days ns 11111 Tart, and published In
the Waynesboro yews of that date. The old
friends of both the doctor and Mr. Ht urges,
we doubt not will appreciate Us reproduction.
Now some may ask, and who Is he?
And who can be so smart
To poetise n sobriquet,
And wonder?—who’s Bill Tart.
Well, sir; If know you must.
He’s note man In part;
Second to none, but ever llrst,
You’ll always fliul—Bill Tart.
In younger days the girls lie loved,
And won lull many a heart;
Ills name (Sweet William) they removed,
Thus, hence came—B'lly Tart.
They, with tenderness, caress him yet,
And always take his part;
And If you wish to raise a pet,
The n—lightly speak of Tart.
He’s over been so chaste and true,
With a generous glowing heart;
To every friend lie’s something new,
Hence all have loved—Bill Tart.
Now, if you knew him; lie’s so kind,
Your blessings you’d Impart;
The noblest work of God you’ll flml
Made up In—Billy Tart.
His virtues, like the d’amoml’s light,
To all a ray will part;
And friends feel not the dark of night,
Confiding In—ITUl Tart.
Oh! If I had a regal crowu,
A p.'lnee he would be born;
Ills friends would feel no chilling frown,
Ills enemies no scorn.
But this world's a curious top,
"A riddle In a heath;”
It’s scum lies floating on the top,
It’sjewels far beneath.
Friend Bill—I’ve found this world a cheat,
‘It’s friendship but a name;”
It’s smiles of kindness but deceit,
It’s love hut poison’s band.
Dissimulation—honor's shield,
Foul treachery Its blade;
It’s victims—but a brother’s weal,
And Lucre but It's trade.
Hence, to commune In ourdays,
With a friend of truthful heart,
Is Joyous as the morning rays,
And hence my song—to Tart!
Hud I a Genius, and Its Are,
And Fancy, with her art,
I’d sing an anthem on the lyre,
Till earth should love Bill Tart.
Here Bill accept my buhl l ug muse,
As Inklings of the heart;
And as you’ll read it In the yews.
You’ll And It out for Tart.
Thanksgiving day, It’s altar burned,
With Incense on its part;
For with the town it was bespoke,
And dined—with Billy Tart.
Now Billy, may we live like you,
Each acting well his part;
For when Old Time shall claim his due,
We are sure he’ll bless—Hill Tart.
Ohio, anil Stevens, of New York.
Representatives Stockslager anil
Murphy were Carlisle men, and,
with Senator Garland, represent
tin* tariff reform elernnt on the
committee.
Representative Rosecrans voted
for Carlisle for Speaker, but is an
“incidental protectionist,” and in
dorses the Ohio tariff platform.
The Secretary oi the committee is
a “tariff” Democrat. In the main
the committee is composed of the
younger element of the party.
THE MEMBERS.
The following is a full list of the
Campaign Committee as at present
organized:
Alabama—II. A. Herbert.
Arkansas—A. II. Garland.
California—W. S. Rosecrans.
Connecticut—\Y. W. Eaton.
Delaware—C. B. Lore.
Georgia—A. H. Colquitt.
Illinois—It. W. Townshend.
Indiana—S. M. Stockslager.
Iowa—J. II. Murphy.
Kentucky—James F. Clay.
Louisiana—\V. C. Blanchard.
Maryland—A. I*. Gorman. •
Massachusetts—II. B. Lovering.
Michigan—N. B. Eldredge.
Mississippi—H. L. Muldow.
Missouri—A. M. Dockery.
Nevada—George W. Cassidy.
New Jersey—\V. II. Fiedler.
New York—It. H. Stevens.
Nortli Carolina—Clement Dowd.
Ohio—D. It. Paige.
Oregon—J. 11. Slater.
Pennsylvania—Win. Mutchler.
South Carolina—Samuel Dibble.
Tennessee—J. Q. Harris.
Texas—It. Q. Mills.
Virginia—John S. Barbour.
West Virginia—John E. Kenna.
Wisconsin—P. V. Deuster.
Florida—It. II. M. Davidson.
Arizona—G. II. Ouray.
Montana—M. Magginnis.
Wyoming—M. E. Post.
Utah—.1. F. Caine.
Tlir Disserting Uooni.
Governor Thompson, of South
Carolina, offers $500 reward, the
highest sum permitted by law, for
tlie arrest of W. B. Cash, who shot
Town Marshal Richards, atCheraw,
on the 23il of February, from the
effects of which he died.
The Hamburg, (S. C.,) Chronicle:
We learn that Prince lteeil, a col
ored man of this place, is to lie pre
sented with a life-time pass over the
South Carolina railway for waving
down a train where the cyclone
hail passed and upturned some of
the cross-ties and otherwise ob
structed the road.
At the present term of Calhoun
Superior Court the grand jury
found a true Dill against J, M. Hal
low for selling whisky by the gallon
without first taking the oatli and ob
taining the licence required by law.
(hi demurrer to the bill generally,
as being no violation of the law, the
court sustained the same.
DEJIOCKAl,’Y’S I’AMPAIUN.
The Congressional Committee Organised—An
Executive Committee Selected.
An old negro man, named John
Harper, who lived on the planta
tion of C. Ogletree, four miles north
■of Columbus, went to town on Sat
urday and became intoxicated.—
He started home, and was found
tlie next morning almost frozen to
death by the roadside. He died in
nbout five minutes after being
found.
Wrightsvllle Recorder: Never be
fore were there so many mortgages
Riven by our people. Money is
drawn on most of them. This is
•mil, hut it is better by far to draw
money and pay cash for goods than
t° pay tlie merchants 100 per cent,
'hir people are one year behind,
and it seems they can’t catch up.—
^ ouhl that they could.
Haralson Jlanner: If all tlie run
away matches met with tlie fate of
Hie one 1 mu about to relate, no
doubt they would be less frequent.
I wo cousins not from this place,
laid arranged to get married on a
oortain Sunday. Accordingly, on
Sunday morning tlie young man
called under the pretence of carry-
'"R Ids Intended to church; but
'oine member of the family dlvin-
"*g the intentions of the pair, lu-
t rfered just as the gallant groom
"as assisting her into the buggy,
'arrled her back into the house, and
'o' her sweetheart go ills way,
h’l'ling like a whipped school boy.—
owever, be succeeded In carrying
" ,l ’lier hat, thinking it might be the
"leans of securing the girl at ft fit*
tare day, But when he went to re-
Hira the hat, another member of
Hie family anil not site came out to
R'd it, and so ho was again disup*
iminteil.
Washington, March 4.—The
Democratic Congressional Cam
paign Committee met at the Ar
lington Hotel in tliis city this even
ing and organized for the coming
campaign. Senator Pendleton,
Chairman of the Democratic joint-
caucus, presided, and Representa
tive Post, Secretary of tlie joint
caucus, acted as secretary of tlie
meeting. Thirty States and lour
Territories are represented on the
campaign committee, these being
the States and Territories which
send a Democratic Senator or Rep
resentative to Congress. Thirty-one
members were present at the meet
ing tliis evening. The following
Executive Committee was selected
on the part of the Senate: Messrs.
Garland, of Arkansas, Kenna, of
West Virginia, Gorman, of Mary
land, and on the part of tlie House
of Representatives, Paige, of Ohio,
Rosecrans, of California, Stockslag
er, of Indiana, Stevens, of New
York, and Murphy of Iowa. It was
decided that this executive com
mittee should lie empowered to
select members of the Campaign
Committee for the States and Ter
ritories not represented in either
tlie Senate or House of Representa
tives by Democrats. These States
and Territories are Colorado,.Kan
sas, Maine, Minnesota, Nebraska,
New Hampshire, Rhode Island and
Vermont, and Dakota, Idaho, .New
Mexico and Washington Territory.
No other business was transacted
by the Campaign Committee.
THE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE.
The Executive Committee met
upon the adjournment of the Cam
paign Committee and organized by
electing Senator Gorman Chairman
and Representative Post Secrotuy.
Senator Kenna anil Representa
tives Stevens and Stockslager were
appointed a sub-Committee on
Finance, and Senator Garland and
Representatives Murphy and Paige
a sub-Committee, on Campaign
Documents, the Chairman being an
ex-officio member of both sub-com
mittees.
'Flic committee had an intormal
talk over the arrangement’* to be
made for the campalg i, but did not
enter into any discussion of ques
tions of party policy.
THE TA Hi FF ISSl’ E.
The revenue reform Democrats
anneal’ to bo In the minority on the
Executive Committee. Senator
Gorman, Chairman, and Senator
Kenna, are both tariff Democrats,
as aro Representatives Paige, of
The prominence into which the
Ohio Medical College lias been
brought by the awful Taylor trag
edy, says the Cincinnati Enquirer
j of tlie 28th ult., makes news of ev-
j cry character concerning tlie insti-
j tution read with great interest.—
During the past few days an En
quirer representative lias made it
his business to visit the dissecting
room in whicli tlie bodies of old
man Taylor, his wite and daughter
were found and recognized by Mar
shal Brown. A graphic descrip
tion of how tlie bodies are carved
by tlie young saw-bones was also
obtained together with other inter
esting points about tlie dissecting
room.
To reach the apartment where
thousands of bodies have been cut
to pieces, for the benefit of science,
one has to climb the stairs to the
top (fifth) floor of the college build
ing. Entering tlie door, attention
is iirst attracted to a long row of
tables on either side of tlie room,
which is about 30 feet wide by 40
feet long. Here and there a table
contained a “point,” as they
term a body. In the day time the
bodies are covered over from head
to too with moist bandages to keep
them from drying up. The dissecting
is done only at night,when the scene
is a busy one, and much more inter
esting. The room contains forty
tables in all, and often in tlie midst
of tlie college term each one is
brought into use. Tlie table con
sists of a largo slab, formed some
what on the plan of a woman’s
ironing-hoard, only it is a little lar
ger. Gutters are cut an inch from
tlie edge, and just deep enough to
allow the drippings to go into a pan
on the floor at the foot of the board.
The slabs are set on horses about
three and a half feet in height, with
tlie head a little the highest. On
each side of a table runs a bench
large enough to contain two stu
dents. All of these are movable.—
There is another smaller bench for
the student who works on the head.
Small blocks of wood are provided
to place under different parts of tlie
body to put them into position. A
small room adjoining is for private
classes, and contains live or six
tables. As there are over three
hundred students attending the
Ohio College at present, it is neces
sary to have at least forty cadavers
for the course which lasts six
months. Each student at the com
mencement of a term pays $10 for a
dissecting ticket. This entitles him
ton fifth portion of the llrst body ho
works on. After that he pays $5
extra for his share of the subject.—
Five students work on one body,
and pay $5 each for the privilege.
They draw cuts us to tho choice
of portions.
The new student usually gets
sick, and does not take kindly to
the work at first. He is careful in
donning a large gown before he
goes near a corpse, and particular
ly careful where he puts his lingers
for fear of blood poison. "When
they get finally broken in, they lose
all abhorrence of tlie work, and sit
and smoke and chat while they
carve and pelt each other with dif
ferent portions of the subjects.—
They play all sorts of jokes on eacli
other. For instance, they will stick
a class mate’s pipe in a cadaver’s
mouth, and then tell him where he
can find it. Woe betide the un
lucky professor who is disliked by
the students should he appear in the
dissecting room. They will pay
him sundry unpleasant attentions,
and deposit in his pockets portions
of the anatomy that are of the least
use. Tlie dissection of the head is
useful only for the knowledge it
gives of tlie muscles of tiie neck
and back. The student makes an
incision about on a line with the
breast bones, anil then such other
incisions that may assist Dim in
dissecting back the skin with the
least possible damage to the tissues
beneath. These he investigates
separately, locating tho muscles,
his book before him, following the
course of the bloodvessels anil
nerves as they appear to his obser
vation. He investigates thoroughly
to the wind-pipe, and tlie willy tiling
that escapes his knife is the back
bone going up to the neck. One
part of the head of importance is
tlie muscles around tlie jaw, nose,
and forehead. The student has lit
tle use for the top of tlie head. The
brain as a rule is dissected together.
However, it is not often in a condi
tion to dissect. After this there is
little or nothing left except tlie
skull. Everything is removed.—
With the arm much tlie same
course is pursued, only more atten
tion is given to the muscles of the
hands and fingers. Everything is
Utilized, and the same tiling may
be said of the lower extremities.—
The chest and abdomen are dissect
ed collectively by the class, and
generally with tlie aid of the de
monstrator of anatomy. After the
work on a body is completed, noth
ing remains but tlie bones. In the
first case these go to the college,
and in the second to tlie students.—
A skeleton prepared is worth con
siderable money. Contrary to all
expectations, the dissecting room
is rather a neat place, and although
the odor is not familiar to every
one, still it is not so horrible as
people might be left to suppose. It
requires three hours work every
night for four weeks to* complete
the dissection of a body by five stu
dents. The bodies of people dying
with consumption are most desired
for dissecting purposes, as they
have tlie least fat. Fleshy subjects
are at a discount. Students have
little choice as to sex. The body
should be at least fourteen years
old, and those over twenty are tlie
more preferable. Old persons are
not so good, as the arteries are
weak and break down, and will not
stand following. For the lecture
rooms extra material is held. For
instance, a body on which no post
mortem examination lias been
made will be laid out on tlie table,
and hit on the head to produce a
fracture. This is to show tlie class
how to attend such a fracture, by
elevating the bone or taking out
the fragments.
The pickling vats made notorious
by the Harrison case, are near the
old chute, which is used so seldom
nowadays. It will bold from fifteen
to twenty-five bodies, and is used
when there is an excess of material,
in it bodies will keep for an indefi
nite period. As a rule, however,
pickled subjects are not so good.—
The students do not like them, they
are not fresh, and the veins and
arteries don’t stand out well.
General Assembly might have
taken a notion to appropriate the
funds in a less desirable manner.—
The feeling here is a general one of
relief and rejoicing that tlie matter
lias been so wisely and successfully
carried through by the governor,
the attorney-general and State
treasurer. No notice has been re
ceived that the payment was made
under protest, or that any excep
tion was taken to the course pur
sued by the treasurer. Both par
ties seem to have been satisfied.
New York, March L—The East
Tennessee & Georgia Railroad
Company has paid to 1). N. Speer,
treasurer of the State of Georgia,
at tlie Fourth National Bank, in this
city, $760,000 in State of Georgia
bonds, on account of the purchase
of the Macon & Brunswick railroad,
being the balance due.
Men In I’cttlfoatfi.
A writer in the A merican Queen
tells us that men appeared in Eliz
abeth’s time in ruffs, plaited as
daintily as any dame; they carried*
fans and pocket glasses by which
to arrange any occasional disorder
in their dress. Then, too, they car
ried muffs, and revived tlie fashion
of wearing ear-rings. But lest it
should seem that this arraignment
of men is pieeee by piece taking
from our fathers all title to our re
spect, it should lie mentioned that
to men originally belonged the
right to wear ruffs by virtue of orig
inal ownership. It was only when
ladies invaded masculine privileges
and took ruffs that a keen compe
tition began, in which each sex
strove to outdo the other in extrav
agance, and the heads of people
appeared as if borne on linen
trenchers. Ear-rings, too, were
worn by men before the conquest.—
This cannot be held to exonerate
men from blame, nor divert us from
the conclusion that at certain pe
riods men have generally adopted
an unseemly display and been
guilty of an effeminate refinement
in dress.
It is not so much to the discredit
of Englishmen that they wore pet-
ticoates and stomachers in early
days, when those were recognized
parts of male costume, as it is to
tlie disgrace of their descendants
who took up tlie wearing of frippe
ries and fineries proper to women—
tlie dissolute cavalier who, after
the restoration, pranked them
selves out in laces and ribbons, and
feathers and flowing curls, or the
cravatted and bewigged dandies
and macaronis of the succeeding I nearly $76,000.
ITK11F.XT (lIiKAXIXMS.
• Our F'oruililahlr Tulm.
Cincinnati Times Slnr.
Some fellow who has caught
and counted them discovers that
our navy consists of t)() ships, bear
ing 550 guns, and that the total
cost was over $75,000,000. One of
the ships still carried on tlie regis
ter lies at tlie bottom of tlie Poto
mac. It is officially reported as
“laid up” at Washington.
({ulnlne Leaping Upward.
Philadelphia, March 1.—There
was considerable excitement in the
quinine market to-day in conse
quence of the great fire at the fac
tory of Powers & Weightmnn. The
price of tlie drug, which lias been
only in moderate demand for some
time past, jumped from $1.40 to
$1.80 per ounce. The foreign ar
ticle. which lias been quoted as low
as $1.10 per ounce, went up to $1.50,
with only a limited quantity offered
at that price.
l«»,125,ll» Silver Dollars.
Washington, March 1.—The
Treasurer of the United States lias
prepared a statement showing that
the total coinage of standard silver
dollars, under the act of February
28, 1878, to March 1, 1884, was $100,-
125,119, of which there was held in
tlie Treasury offices and mints $12G,-
822,399, outstanding $89,304,720, of
the amount held by tlie Treasury,
viz: $120,822,399, there are held to
redeem outstanding silver certifi
cates $90,247,721, leaving owned by
the Treasury $30,574,078.
Nwlmlk'rs Caught.
A letter was recently received by
a bank in St. Louis from the cashier
of the New Orleans National, stat
ing that he had sold a draft on St.
Louis for $0,500 to Mr. John A. Vin
cent, a prominent merchant of tlie
Crescent City, and requesting that
he “lie shown proper courtesy” upon
his arrival with it. An exchange
of telegrams exposed the whole
affair as a swindle and forgery. In
a few days a distinguished looking
gentleman walked in with the
draft. He was invited into the
office, where, by a couple of detec
tives, lie was immediately “shown
proper courtesy.”
A $75,000 Dollar Haul In St. I.oiiU.
St. Louis, Mo., March 3.—Prentis
Tiller, money clerk of tlie Pacific
Express Company, here, whose
father is a Louisville detective, dis
appeared at noon yesterday, taking
with him two valises full of money
packages, the total amount being
The theft was com-
HUM0R0US PARAGRAPHS.
(■eiirgia Solid.
reigns who, with their garnished
coats, laced cuffs, silk breeches,
clocked stockings and buckled
shoes, were at least as fine, and cer
tainly no less depraved than their
fathers. It is well that masculine
dress has now distinct lines of de
marcation, and lias become dark
and sombre in color, so that “mash
ers” and “dudes”perpetrate effemin
acy in men,they have not at least the
advantages which gaudy apparel
and common garments might give
them in parading the degenerate
daintiness of which they seem so
unworthily vain.
mitteil in collusion with a stranger.
Detectives have been put on their
track, but have learned nothing as
yet. R. G. Butler, agent of tlie
Pacific Express Company, lias no
doubt but Tiller hail two confede
rates, as many of tlie packages
stolen contained gold coin and
were too heavy to be handled by
two persons. The watchmen were
in front of the office while the rob
bery was being perpetrated, but
had no suspicion of Tiller’s robbing
tlie safe.
Atlanta, March 1.—State Treas
urer Speer telegraphs to-day to tlie
governor that the purchasers of tlie
Macon & Brunswick railroad have
delivered to him in New York the
balance due of the $750,000 in recog
nized bonds of Georgia, comprising
H’s, 7’s, 0’s and 4’s, and that he will
complete his examination of them
by Monday. There are but few 8’s
and 4’s, the great bulk Doing 7’s and
0’s, due in 1880, and which tho next
Legislature would have been
asked to provide for at that time.
Governor McDaniel, by his strict
compliance with what lie believed
to lie the letter and spirit of the act
of sale and contract, compelled the
payment in Georgia bonds as far as
possible, and allowed the payment
to he extended into another day to
enable the purchasers to pay the
full amount In State bonds. Thus,
by the governor’s foresight and
firmness, three-quarters of a mill
ion of the State debt is wiped out,
and no further interest will have to
be paid, or legislation enacted for
that amount. If the payment had
been made in other bonds or ill
cash, the State debt would have
remained tho same, and the next
Married Ills Own Druvliter.
New York, Feb. 28.—G. W. Lake,
of Staten Island, was sentenced to
the State’s prison for ten years for
marrying his child, lias been re
leased by the court sentencing him,
for reason that there is a doubt
whether tlie Judgment should
stand, and he is out on bail until
tho case can be reviewed. It ap
pears from statements which have
been made, that Lake when quite
young, became intimate with a
young girl in tlie New England
town in which he resided, and in
order to escape the responsibility
which seemed inevitable, he disap
peared. After several years lie re
turned, hut what had become of
tlie young lady in the meantime is
not known. He found, however, a
little girl running about the streets
neglected, lie cared for her for
some time. Another desire to roam
took possession of Lake, and he
traveled abroad. After many
years lie returned to his native
place again, and was introduced to
a young woman in whom lie became
interested. He thought she was
necessary to his happiness, anil
after awhile lie proposed that she
become ills wife. They were mar
ried and were living together,
when it was intimated and then
asserted by some of the older in
habitants, that tlie girl whom Lake
had taken for his wife was the
same girl for whom lie had provi
ded for a time, and that site was Dis
own daughter.
—We will commence in a few
tleorgla'a Capital*.
“It is not generally known,” says
an exchange, “that Georgia has had
five capitals, although she has
owned only two capitol buildings.
Tlie first eapitol was Savannah, the
second at Augusta, and the third at
Louisville, Jefferson county. At
none of these places the State
owned a building. While the Legis
lature was in session at Louisville,
in 1805, an appropriation was made
for a capitol, and Milledgoville was
selected by an act of the General
Assembly. Tho sum appropriated
was $00,000. That was what the
first Georgia capitol cost. It was
subsequently milled to consider
ably. The Legislature first met in
it in 1807. It also was built by a
commission. In 1835 tho Legisla
ture appropriated $10,000 for an ex
ecutive mansion, but that building
cost $50,000 before it was completed.
A IN'trlIll'll Tree.
The United States snag boat
Tocoi recently removed from tlie
Altamalia river, at Scooping Gum
Bend, a petrified tree. The Morn
ing News says: “When the Tocoi
undertook to lift tliis sunken tree
from the river bed it was discover
ed that a monster of no insignifl
cant proportions and weight had to
lie dealt with. The powerful on
glues and tackle of the boat were
found unequal to tlie task, and
hence the obstruction had to be
broken up with dynamite, and the
pieces taken out separately. The
entire trunk had completely petri
fied and was as heavy as iron. One
of tho pieces was estimated to
weigh about seventy tons. Some
of the fragments were exceedingly
S1IK REFERRED HIM TO HER PA.
n
iior ful ry form,
II c r modest fnee,
Her charming nlr,
And winning grape
Eli chan toil all
Tho lads in town,
And each one loved
Jem I in a Brown,
Hhe oft was called
The village pride.
And for her love
I long had sighed.
I said I’d know
Nojoy In life,till she’d
Consent to be my wife. Hhe
Blushed quite red and said
"Oh, la;”and then referred me to
Her pn. Ills manner was both rudo
And rough,and when bespoke his tones
Were gruff. 1 asked him then In accents
Bland to give to mu his daughter’s hand.
Fornnswerho gave me hW foot encased
Within this c o w h 1 d o boot!
Good for nothing—a cipher.
A forthcoming ovent—one that
succeeds three others.
Advice to an egotistical blower:
Shut down your window—oil!
Play-tonic affection: Going out
between tlie acts at tlie theatre.
Back-action—spinal region irrita
tion with tlie aid of a lamp post.
Mrs. Shoddy says she has just
bought a new African for her baby.
Society is very queer. The peo
ple most sought after are those who
do not pay tlieir debts.
Many a woman who does not
know even tho multiplication table
can “figure” in society.
A Kentucky editor recently shot
two men who jumped on him. Now
is the time to subscribe.
Philadelphia ladies are learning
baseball; one of them has caught
her husband out already.
It is a fact that the American
people are all push. Look at the
labels on the barroom doors.
“How can a Woman Tell ?” is the
title of a recent poem, “How can
she help telling?” would be more
appropriate.
“Emile,” asked the teacher,“which
animal attaches himself most to
man?” Emile, after some reflec
tion—“Tlie leech, sir.”
Matrimony is said to lie a lottery,
but up to tlie hour of going to press
no law lias been enacted prohibit
ing tin) use of tlie males.
Dr. Mary Walker is going to re
side in England, and the Boston
Courier thinks she ought to take up
her residence in Middlesex.
“Oh, dig him out! dig him out!”
said the wife of the man who got
buried Dy a caving well, “lie’s got at
least six dollars in his pocket.”
It is said tliat kerosene will re
move stains from furniture. It has
also been known to remove the
furniture, stains and all, with tho
stove and servant girl thrown in.
“How shall I have my bonnet
trimmed,” asked Maria, “so that it
will agree with my complexion?”
“If you want it to match your face
have it plain,” replied the hateful
Harriet.
weeks the publication of an interest- j Leautlful being of different colors—
lug story. It i|s full of thrilling ad
ventures, and touching Incidents.
Subscribe now and get the opening
chapters. ()nly$l for six months.
Stamp* taken,
some black,
violet and
shades,”
others
other
crimson ami
contrasting
Subseriptiousarc positively cash
The report that Miss Terry has
four living husbands is a mean,
miserable, despicable slander start
ed by tiie venomeil tongues of gos
sips. She has only three.—Phila
delphia Call.
“Never mind, my young kid, I’m
going up to see your mother about
tliis.” “That’s all right,” yelled
back tlie small boy, “you just go
rigltt along up there. Pa filled a
man full of buckshot the other day
for going to see ma."
Edith—You ask how babies can
best be weaned. First catch your
baby, then a reliable nurse who can
livo without sleep for a month, then
sldp baby anil nurse to Homo com
fortable but distant farmhouse until
the process is completed.
“The bridal march was played Dy
Will Corley on u harmonica. The
groom was attired in a hickory
stripe shirt and copperas-colored
punts, and on his arm was gently
suspended ids bride, like a clear-rib
side of bacon or bushel of meal.”—
Yonkers Record.
“I shan’t lie gone long,” remarked
Juniper as lie left tlie house the
other evening. “Not going any
where in particular; only going out
to take tlie air.” “Be careful tliat
you do not come in air-tight,” was
tin 1 injunction of Mrs. J., whose
knowledge of Juniper’s failing hud
not begotten confidence.
“Have you got a copy of the laws
passed by tho last Texas legisla
ture?” asked a stranger of an Aus
tin stationer. “No, sir, tho laws of
the last legislature have not yet
been published, but we have
‘Hchenck’s handbook on poker,
pocket flasks, and almost every
other legislative requirement you
can think of,”—Texas Siftings,