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GALLAHER'S INDEPENDENT,
PUBLISHED EVERT SATURDAY AT
QUITMAN, A.,
BY
J. C. GALLAHER,
TKUN4 OV CBS*RIPTIOX i
TWO DOLLARS per Annum i> Atlmmce.
THOMPSON’S DOG, JERRY.
About one burnt red miles from Mobile,
bn the bur.lea of the Tombigbeo river,
there lived sn old planter named Thomp
nou. Air. Thompson was a greet lover of
horses ami dogs, particularly the hitter,
And bis plantation was headquarters for
the lovers of the canine race for miles
around. Mr. Thompson had a son named
William; we will call him Bill, because
everybody called him by that name.
Bill was about fourteen years of age
Vrhen tbe'War- broke out, and it interfered
'with his father's plans concerning his edu
‘oation. However, the war ended, and ho
'Was sent to finish his studies at the Uni
versity of Virginia. Bill remained at the
university for about four years, and nt the
expiration of thst time returned to his
home.
The old was very proud off
Bill—indeed he had reasou t ‘ 1 H ” Imd
grown to be a tall, elegantly formed m"* n >
W( graceful manners and genteel appear
ance.
In his joy at his sons return, Mr. Thomp
son hod provided nn elegant repast, and
the ehte of the society were invited to wel
come Bill home. The entertainment was
numerously atteuded, and the occasion
promised to be the one of the season, for
the old gentleman and Bill were really
great favorites. The old mansion was
thronged with youth and beauty, and to
the merry music of the dance the hours
glided swifly away.
Bill was congratulated over and over;
bit the many congratulations that he re-
cel vert occasioned the drinking of more
whiskey tiiau be could carry, aurt liin fart
of tlie reception was brought to a close by
liia getting helplessly drunk, in which con
dition he was fonurt l>y his father, under
oue of the tables.
The old gentleman, however, smothered
his resentment, taking into consideration
that this miglit have been nil accident, and
that it would not again occur; but this
hope was destined soon to he dispelled, for
na o her fetes followed at other places, it
was found that Bill was too fond of whis
key, and that lo regularly enmo to grief at
each entertainment. •
Air. Thompson was not a man to very
long tolerate sttch action on his son’s part,
nud one morning, after one of Bill's ex
cesses, he spoke to him concerning the
matter. Bill could not deny it, and there
was a poor chance for an apology. The
gentleman became link a u
lt'iic**, and thus .eldre->e*i him : ‘ Bill, I
have raised you up ss carefully e.s ever u
child was raised. You have disgraced me
and my mini.. I had I 'tally hoped you
would be an honor to me aud it. I'll have
no more of tbit. You c.n remain hero il
you want to, und this may tie your home
Y m can have a horse to ride, and X wall
clothe you decently; but," he added, with
great emphasis, “you shall not hereafter
get drunk, you shall either earn your mon
ey or steal it.”
It was in vain that Bill tried to apolo
gize. The old gentleman would take no
apology. The fiat had gone forth, and
however dry his throat might be. Bill
knew there would be no retraction of his
father’s words. So i* concluded to lie a
temperance man, but as is usnal in such
cases, though ‘’the spirit was willing, the
flesh Was weak."
Bill's throat soon became very dry nud
annoying, and at last he made up Ins mind
that he ranst calculate upon some plan
whereby he could get a drink of whiskey.
In some of his readings, Bill remember
ed tbe fable of “Tile Wise Dogs,” aud de
termined to profit by it. Meeting his fath- j
er one evening, about a month after tbe
preceding lecture, be thus addressed him:
“Father, do yon know anything about this
colony of Yuukeos down bereatthe mouth
of the river ?"
“No, I don’t,” was the -reply, and a
gruff one, too, for the old man didn’t like
Yankees, and didn’t like to bear any
k -thing nbout tuem.
“Well, father, they must be n queer lot.
They have got schools down there.”
“Yes,” thundered his father, “schools
for niggers. ”
“Well,” replied Bill, “let's give the
devil bis due; they teach white children,
too.”
“Yes,” said the old man, “they tench
Hier lies; they teach them lies.”
i’Well, I suppose they do," replied Bill,
•‘but what I was going to speak of is that
they have got a school for dogs 1”
“A school for what?”
“A school for dogs I They teach dogs
to talk.”
“Come, now. Bill, if you arc fool enough
to believe such stuff, don't try to make ns
big a fool of me ! Teach clogs to talk !
They may teach them to steal—l shouldn’t
wonder if they did. But don’t teit me
about this teaching dogs to talk 1”
"Well, now, father. I respect every word
you say," replied Bill, “hut I am bound as
a gentlemen to respect what gentlemen
say; and I have heard several talking about
it. Really, I know nothing of the facts;
but, as I said, I heard several speaking
about ife and I believe it. I was down
town the other day and your dog, Jerry,
was with me, and a gentleman from Ten
nessee noticed him as we were speaking of
the schoo)c I asked him how long it would
take for sdog like Jerry to learn how to
talk, andihp said a dog as knowing as Jer
ry will in, three months, and ho said
a good never would learn,
i Bill’ll, pmises of Jerry did not go unno
*■ 'iced _ ‘ H there w.ajs any one thing that the
VOL. TT.
old gentleman fully believed, it was that
there was never another dog that knew as
j much os Jerry.
The conversation for this thae termina
ted, but Bill somehow felt that his father
would mention the subject agaiu, and ho
was not mistaken.
A few days after the above dialogue, the
old gentleman met Bill and thus addressed
him; “Bill, do you really lie.ieve that Jar
rv could learn to talk ?"
, “I certainly believe it,” Bill replied.
“Bo you know bow much they charge
down there t"
“Well,” replied Bill, “I believe they
charge twenty live dollars admission, and
then teD dollars a mouth for board and tui
tion for whatever time it takes.”
“Bill, how much would it cost for you
to take Jerry down there and put him to
school nad come back; make up the fig
ures, and if it ain’t too much. I’ll have you
►go and. iwn Slid put him to school. ”
Bill figured up the amount uud came to
the conclusion that about seventy-five dol
lars would defray the necessary espouses,
uud so apprized his father.
“Well, now, Bill, the Osage is coming
down tna river this afternoon; yon got
ready ami take Jerry down there, and put
him to school, if you find the rehool all
right ;if not. you bring him home. I
wouldn’t sell him for a thousand dollars,
and if any dog can learn to talk, Jerry is
the dog.”
The grass did not grow under Bill’s
fget in getting ready, and at five in the af
ternoon he got ou board the steamer,
Osage,, which was bound down the river
to Mobile.
Bill was not long on board before he
had tho whiskey ho so much longed for;
and by eight o’clock in the evening he
was as drunk as a lord, and had already
got into a tight. Poor Jerry, seeing his ■
master rather roughly handled, took a,
share iu it, and biting one of tho parties
engaged, was quickly set upon and knock-;
od over the side of the Is nit, and falling
just in front of tho paddle-wheel, was'
struck by it, and instantly killed.
Bill did not discover the loss of the dog j
until the steamer arrived at Mobile; and
it was to that place that ho had originally j
deti-rmim Jto go. His astonishment and
sorrow at the loss of bis father's favorite
dug were very great, anil it moreover ne- j
oessitated all the strategy Bill possessed to ]
bring his original plans t-o anything like a j
successful ending.
He had originally intended ! a take his ;
•do* with him to Ai< Whs, . ’ > ;ir„;,ig I
to his home to declare to Iris father that |
ho had been misinformed, that the school j
was a humbug, and the preteude.l teachers I
knaves; and he well knew that- so great was I
his father's dislike for anything Yankee 1
that he would escape without any veiy
severe cross-examination, The killing of i
the dog had up set all Bill's reckoning, 1
and he was compelled to frame anew j
story, which, as the sequel-will show, ho;
successfully did.
After remaining for about a week at Mo-;
liile, and having pretty nearly exhausted 1
his cash in hand, Bill started for home. —
llis father mot him at the landing and
t asked him many questions concerning Jer- ’
ry’s chances of learning to talk. Bill do- :
; clared that there was no doubt of his abil
ity to learn; that he had seen many dogs
not Inrtf as knowing as Jerry who could I
! talk quite well; and the result was that the
old gentleman was much elated with the
I idea of possessing such a wonderful being
j as a dog that could talk,
j Before tho end of the two months, j
which Bill declared would bo sufficient to
! give Jerry a decent education, Mr. 'i'lipmp
: son had become quite impatient to hear
I concerning Jerry’s progress, and Bill had
j written several letters by his father’s or
j ders to ascertain how he w as getting along,
but strange as it seemed, no reply was
| received to any of them, and at lust. Bill
; was ordered to get ready and go down and
! see about Jerry, and bring him home, if
i only for a visit.
Bill agaiu went down the river on the
| samo steamer by which he went on his
j previous trip, and with very much the
same results, so fur as his own conduct was
concerned, until he returned home. This
time bis father did not meet him at the
lauding, to Bib’s great relief, but soicrly
waited for him at the house.
The old gentleman’s disappointment can j
better be imagined than described, when
Bill came into the house alone, for he had j
not the slightest doubt that.his favorite j
dog, fully informed on subjects in general, i
would soon delight iiis ears with a hearty
“good evening"in place of his accustomed
familiar bark.
j “Bill," said his father, “where’s Jerry?”
Bill made no reply.
say, Bill, where’s Jerry?"
“Jerry’s dead, father.”
“Dead I”
! “Yes, dead.”
“How did he die?”
“I killed him,” coolly replied Bill.
“You killed him ! You kitted Jerry?”
“Yes, father, I killed blip.”
“You rascal”——
“Hear me, father," interrupted Bill.—
| “Let me tell my story, and if you think I
! did wrong, you can abuse me and do and
! say what yon like.”
“I went down to the school,” continued
1 Bill, “and I was there all through the ex
| animation. Jerry could talk as well as I
; can ! They said he was. the smartest dog
j they ever saw ! We came down aboard the
steamer, and Jerry sat up, in a chair, and,
as the ladies, whom he had seen before,
Vcarnc one by one into the cabin,. Jerry
QUITMAN, (tA., FRIDAY, APRIL 23, 1875.
j would say ‘good morning, Mrs. .Smith,’ or
i ‘good morning, Mrs. Jones,’ and ho look
| ed as stately as a judge.
“Well father, at last we got started away
j from the landing. Perhaps we had got a
! half a mile away, and the Indies won look
[ ing wit of the windows, and J“rry was
j still silting in his clmir, when all of a sud
! den he turns round to mo and says: ‘Bill,
j how are you, my hoy ?”
I says, “I’m all right.”
“How’s the old mau?” says lie.
“All right,” I replied.
“How’s the old woman ?" says Jerry.
“Now, father, I didn’t like to hear him
speak as he did about you, and when he
called you the olil man, I couldn’t staud it
very well, but when ho spoke that way
about mother, I couldn’t bear it at all ;
still I didn’t want any fuss, because yon
thought so much of him, so I didoYsey j
anything, only to say she was well.
“Just then be looked around, and, speak
ing right loud, he says : ‘Bill, does the
old man hug and kiss the cook us much as
i lie used to?’ I didn't reply, and ho kept I
on : ‘Bill,’says he, ‘l’ve seen the old mau
kiss tlio cook, Louise, I mean, more than
j fifty times, and I’ll tell the old woman
when I get home. Won’t she give it to
' the old man 1’
“Father, I couldn't stand it It was
right before the ladies. 1 got up and I
took Jerry by the throat, and says I, ‘You
lying dog, I’ll choke you to death. This
comes of jour cursed Yankee education.—
I might have known they’d teach you to
slander your friends.’
“Well, father, the villain tried to bite
me. I had him by the throat, and —I do
not know what I was going to do with
him, I was so enraged, but I carried him
out on the deck, when he tried to bite me
worse than ever. I went to kick him, and
somehow—l was too angry to recollect
just how—lie either jumped overboard, or
I threw him overboard, and the wheel
struck him and killed him.
“Now, father, 1 have done. If you
blame me, 1 must bear it, but I really was
glad ho was dead, when I came to myself,
for I thought what trouble ho would make
with his lies.”
The old gentleman was pale as a ghost.
“Bi'l," said he, “you did right. I ought
to have known that he’d lie if he could
talk. Bill, here’s a hundred dollars. Don’t
go and get drunk on this motley now, but
Bid, don’t you say rnythiug about this
yon have told. Jerry was a mighty smart
dog, but somehow," he added, it; an ms
dertoue, “I have always had all iifan that
that dog was watching me.”— Metropolitan.
*•* --
lls.pr y Husbands.
That is a good-natured man that writes
that it is u uau's own fault if he is un
happy with his wife, in nine cases out of
ten. It. is a very exceptional w oman who
will not l>e all she can be to an attentive
husband, and a moro exceptional one will
not be very disagreeable if she finds her
self willfully neglected. It would bo very
i easy to hate a man who, having bound a
woman to him, made no effort to make her
happy; hard not to love one who was eou
i stunt and tender; and when a woman loves
| she tries to please. The great men of this
: woild have often been wretched in their
domestic relations, while mean and com
: mon men have been exceedingly happy.
The reasou is very plain. Absorbed in
; themselves, those who desired the world’s
| applause were careless of the little world
i at home, while those who had none of the
| egotism strove to keep the hearts that.
| were their own, and were happy in their
; tenderness. No woman will love a man
1 the better for being renowned or promi
nent. Though he be first among men,
I she will only be prouder, not fonder; and
! if she loses him through this renown, as is
i often the ease, she will not even be proud.
But give her love, appreciation, kindness,
! and there is no sacrifice she would not
; make for his content and comfort. The
] man who loves her well is her hero and
j her king. No less a hero to her though
| he is not one to any other; no less a king
I though his only kingdom is her heart and
1 home.
Humor and Sarcasm.
It is not everybody who knows tvhero to
joke, or when, or how; and whosoever is
ignorant of these conditions had bettor not
joke at, all. A gentleman never attempts
to be humorous at the expense of people
with whom he is but slightly acquainted.
In fact, it is neither good manners nor
wise policy to joke at any body’s expense;
that is to say, to make any body uncom
fortable merely to raise a laugh. Old
JEnop, who was doubtless the subject of
many a jibe on account of his humped
back, tells the whole-story in his futile of
“The Boys and Frogs.” What was fun
to the youngsters was death to the croak
j■. A jest may cut deeper than a curse,
j Some men are so constituted that they
! cannot take a friendly joke in the same
| light coin, and will requite it with con
| tamely and insult. Never banter one of
! this class, or he will brood over your bad
! inage long after you have forgotten it, and
! it is not prudent to incur any one’s enmity
i tor the sake of uttering a smart double en
\ tendre or a tart repartee. Ridicule, at
I best, is a perilous weapon. Satire, how
; ever, when levelled at social foibles and
| political evils, is not only legitimate, but
\ commendable. It has shamed down more
I abuses than were ever abolished by force
! of logic.
—
| New Bedford has but one whaler left—
A schoolmaster.
A Discouraged Boy,
Crabapple’s hoy hud read that touching
Thanksgiving story about the chap who
ran away from home w hen a boy, and went
to sea, and was not heard of for years and
years; and how every T aukagiving day
lUe mother act a plate for the wanderer,
i and kept a seat, for him nt the table, and
hmv the gray-haired sire, when he olihrud
a blessing, prayed for his wayward son
prayed that, ho might return in safety to
the putenml roof.
And then, one Thanksgiving dav, when
they had about given him up for dead, al
though the plat* arid vacant chair told the
story of a mother’s undying hopes, just, as
the family lmd sat down to the Thanks
giving dinuer, there came a rap at tho
door. "Gome in 1" cried the sire, and in
hounded the boy in a sailor jacket and u
tarpaulin hat just, borne from a whaling
voyage. Such rejoicing ns there was in
that house. How his t 'her shook both
hia hands, and how his tether wept over
him and embraced him, and how all the
brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins,
hung around his legs and tugged at his
sailor jacket.
jJ’Twaa worth braving the dangers of the sea ;
to meet with such a welcome on Iris return.
He sat at the feast in the chair that u
mother’s deathb'ss love, and hope, and
recollection had always placed for him,
and never was there a happier Thanksgiv
ing since that cherished aunivoranry was
invented.
Orabapple's boy wept over that story
every tin.-e he read it, and he got to won
dering whether such a fuss would bo made
over him should ho run away from home,
and then turn up again some Thanksgiv
ing day.
He thought about it so much that he
finally determined to test the business,
anyhow. Ho would see how the people
would act when ho played the prodigal’s
rettn'u. So about a week from Thanks
giving he lull away from home. He didn't
go to sea, because the sea was toe far off,
and he couldn't make much of a voyage in
a week anyhow, lie got a job iu It tnnyard,
grinding lim it, which answered all the pur
poses, for he could imagine Iris “bark was
on the sea,” as ho rode tho old horse
around the circle. He culled tho mill the
world, and imagined himself sailing around
tlie world at every revolution.
With a beating heart he approached the
paternal mansion. Ho looked in'at the
window anil saw tlm folks just sitting
down to tlm Thanksgiving supper.
A chill of disappointment crept over him
as he saw there was no vacuvit chair, and
there wasn’t nn idle plate on t tie table. He
listened at the door ss the blessing was
asked, but although several prophets were
honored with it Haltering notice, his name
Wasn't mentioned. This was a little hard
on the boy who bad run away from home
and was liable to tarn up on that or any j
succeeding Thanksgiving day.
Recollections of him didn’t, seem to;
cluster around the hearthsftme ty any very 1
great extend. |
lb-pressing n chilling foreboding lin'd.
arose in bis breast, he flung open the door, |
rushed into their midst, and exclaimed— j
“Father I mother! ’lts I, Hnmniy (Irnliup-j
pie! home again ! home! home!” and
then throw himself on his father's breast, j
sobbing convulsively.
What i id that father do ? Bid he hug
him and sob tears over him, and call him
his “long lost l>o-bo-boy V” Not much. He
took him by the collar, led him into the
wood-shed, and worked over him more
than an hour with a barrel-slave, his
brothers and sisters dancing around on
the buck stoop in an eestaev of delight,
while his mother screamed, “That's right,
Ambus; give it to him 1 Learn him bet
ter'll to run away from home again !’’
Then lie was sent to bad without any
Thanksgiving supper at all, and threatened
with being deprived of both Christmas
and New Year’s dinners.
Stmn go Matches.
It is an historical fact that Frederick of j
Prussia fArm'od the idea of compelling on- j
ions between the tallest of the two sexes
iu iris dominions, iu the hope of having
an army of giants. The reader will, iu
all probability, recollect the following lu
dicrous iucident: It so happened that du
ring a nil her long ride, the king paused
a particularly tall young woman, nu utter
stranger. He alighted from Iris horse,
and insisted upon her delivering u letter
to the commanding otlicer of ins crack
regiment. The let ter contained tho man
date that the bearer was instantly to be
married to the tallest unmarried man iu j
the service, The young woman was some- j
what terrified, and, not understanding the i
transaction, gave an old woman the letter, I
which was conveyed to the commanding [
officer, and this oid woman was, in a short j
time, married to the handsomest and finest j
man in the crack regiment. It is not nec- j
Canary to say that the marriage woe au nn- ;
happy one—particularly so to the old wo-
man.
Ju this connection comes another nnec- j
dote. A rich saddler directed in his will j
that his only child, a daughter, should be j
deprived of the whole of the fortune tin
less she married a saddler. A young earl,
in order to win the bride, actually served j
an apprenticeship of seven years to a sad-:
dler, and afterwards bound himself to. the |
rich saddler’s daughter for life. But the ]
union was anything but a happy one; the ;
bride, neither by birth, nor breeding a 1
lady, reflected little credit on her bride- j
groom’s choice; and repeated quarrels I
were followed by separation, bo it is i
with fill unequal matches; gold and brass j
won’t unite. Common-sense says, “Young*
folk, marry within tho boundary of your j
social and religious circle.”
There, is then, no reasonable ground '
for complaint and recrimination. Many
matches which might, with ordinary pru- ;
deuce, have proved at- least moderately
comfortable, so for as regards the dispo.-i-1
lions of the parties, have, through tlioine
quality of their social relations, proved
miserable, because, like the Prussian king,
they did not well consider wiiat they were
about.
Rights and Lefts.— Charles Dickens,
who, like many men of letters, contemned
the Women’s Rights movement, used to.
repeat, with never failing admiration, the
jest of a lively lady, who, when the subject
of strong-minded women” was being dis- j
cussed, made this remark : “I notice i
that those women’s right people are invari
ably men’s lefts.” The joke is a good or.e; ;
but a host of our charming lady lecturers
prove in their own persons that by it truth
was for the thousandth tirno sacrificed ,to
wit
THE RELIGIOUS 0 A BD PL AYER.
A private soldier by tho name of Rich
ard Lee was taken before, tho magistrates*
of Glasgow for playing cards during di
vine service. Tho account of it is thus
given in an English journal : “Asergeant
commanded the soldiers at church, and
! while there the paison hml read the
prayers and took tho text. Those who
had a liililo took it out, but this soldier
! had neither 1 Bible nor common prayer
book, but, pulling out a pack of cards he
spread them before him. He first looked
at oue card and then at another. The
sergeant of tho company saw him, and
said : “Richard, pnt up tho cards, this is
no place for them. ” “Nevermind that,”
said Richard.
When tho’ services were over the consta
ble took UictiArd a prisoner and brought
him before tho Mayor. “Well,"said the
Mayor, “What have you brought the sol
dier here for?” "For pluyipg cards in
the church.” “Well, soldier, what have
you to say for yourself? ’ “Much, sir, I
hope.” “Very good; if not, I will punish
yon severely.”
“1 have been,” said the soldier, “about
six weeks on the march. 1 have neither
Bilde nor common prayer book. I have
nothing but a puck of cards, and hope to
satisfy your worship of the purity of my
intentions." Then spreading the cards be
fore the Mny%r, lie begau with the see :
“When 1 see the nee it reminds me that
there is but one God. When Isee Uiedeticc
it reminds mo of Father and Son.
“When I see the tray it reminds me of
Father, Son and Holy Ghost. When I
see the four it reminds me of the four
evangelists that preached—Mathew, Mark,
Luke mid John.
“When I see the five it reminds me of
tho five wise virgius that trimmed their
lamps. There were ten, but five were wise
and five were foolish, and were shut, out..
“When I see the six it reminds me that
in six days tho lord made heaven and
earth.
“When I Hee the seven it reminds me
that on the seventh day God rested from
the great work which ho made and hal
lowed it.
“When I see the eight, it reminds me of
the eight, righteous persons who were
saved when God destroyed the world, viz:
Noah, and his wife, his two sous, and their
wives.
“When I sec the nine it reminds me of
the nine lepers Mint were cleansed by our
Saviour. There were nine out of ten who
never returned thanks.
“When I. see the ten it reminds me of
the ten commandments which God hand
ed down to Moses on the tables of atone,
"When T. see tlieKing, it reminds me of
the great King of Heaven, which is our
God Almighty.
“When j see the Queen, it reminds me
• J the Queen Of Sheba, who visited Solo
mon, for she was as wise a woman as he
was a man. She brought fifty boys and
fifty girls, all dressed in hoys’ apparel, for
King Solomon to tell which were boys and
which were girls. The King sent for wa
ter for them to wash. The girls washed to
the. elbows and the hoys to the wrists ;so
King Solomon told by that.”
“Well,” said the Mayor, “von have des
cribed every cal'd ill the pack except oue.”
“What is that?”
“The knave,” said the Mayor. “I will
give your honor a description of that too,
if you will not be angry.” “I will not,”
said the Mayor, “if you do not term me to
lie the knave.” “The greatest knave I
knew of is the constable who brought, me
here.” “I do not know," said the Mayor,
“if he is the greatest knave, but I know
be is tho greatest fool.”
“When I count how ninny spots there
are in a pack of cards, I find three hun
dred and sixty-five, as many days as there
aro iu a year. When I count the number
of cards in a pack I find fifty-two—the
number of weeks iu a year. I find there
are twelve picture cards in a pack, repre
senting tho number of months in u year,
and on counting the tricks-1 find thirteen
—the number of weeks in a quarter. “So
you see a puck of cards serve for a Bible,
almanac uud common prayer-book.”
Schicvkn Counts.
Gems of Thought.
Retaliation is simply meanness for mean
ness, debasement for debasement, coward
ice for cowardice.
Knowledge may slumber in the memory
but it never dies ; it is like the dormouse
in the ivied tower, that sleeps while winter
lasts, but awakens with the warm breath
of spring.
The Husband. —Worn an sometimes do
not value their husbands as they ought.
They not mi frequently learn the value of a
good husband for the first time by the loss
of him. Yet the husband is the very roof
tree of the house, the corner stono of the
edifice, the key stone of tho arch called j
home,
Ssrow.—The world is ■crazy for show.
There is not one perhaps in a thousand
who dares full back on liis real, simple
self for power to get through the world,
aud exact enjoyment as lie goes along.—
There Is no end to tho apeing, the mimi
cry, the false uml superficial airs. It re
quires rare courage, we admit, to live up
to one’s enlightened convictions iu these
days. Unless you consent to join iu the
general cheat, there is no room for you
among the great mob of pretenders. If a
roan desires to live within his means,, and
is resolute in liis purpose not to appear
more than he really in, let him be applaud
ed. There is something fresh and invigo
rating in such ail example, and we should
honor and uphold such a man with ail the
energy in our power.
Half the success of man with man he
owes to tho lessons woman has tanght
him, aud, by a strange perversion of jus
tice, by a violation of gratitude, most of
I his success with woman likewise. That
site should give into his hands the weapons
' ho turns against her reveals the sarcasm of
| destiny.
I Three counterfeiters wero arrested, at
i Fort Valley, Ga., on the 17tL inst.
Woman a Beast of Burden.
With all their fine culture and artistic
1 instincts, tho Germans are not admirable
in the arts and elegancies of life. There
' is among men none of tho chivalrous def
j erenee mid regard for women that marks
j American mauhood. Ju the upper ranks
women hold a tolerable place, but iu the
lower and middle stations, she is a breeder
or beast of burden, merely ; in the lower
ranks she is merely the latter, a boast of
harden.
Tho work that men do ju America ia
done wholly by women here. There is no
kind of farm work that they do not per- !
form; no manual labor iu field, or manu
factory that they are not called ou to do.
Indeed, there are but two classes of labor
ers in the German cities and villages, men
over 45 and women of all ages. The youth
of the land, a lien too old to go to school,
must go into the army, the daughters must
tako their plnees ju tho field. You may
walk from The Rhine to the Danube, and
you will s*9 in all the operations of toil, on
the farm especially, seven women to one
man at work 1 Under these conditions is
it wonderful that German women are
shriveled and unlovely ? That softness of
voice or delicacy of feature have perished
wholly from the femiuiue part of the pop
ulation ? You will find fine looking men,
for army life is by gno means laborious.
Reflecting on the conditions under which
these latter generutioua of Germans entno 1
into tho world, it is simply marvelous that
the whole race is uot one of hideous do- j
formity and mental imbecility. It is im
possible to think that this race of mothers
could bear anything else than physically
decrepit and moutaHy imperfect beings.
It is atrocious enough to see women doing
tlm hardest labor of men in the field, but
German life exhibits other phases of fem
inine usefulues, to which this ia the lilies
and langurs of life. In every conutry of
Germany it is a common practice for wo
men to do the work of horses. You may
see it in this elegant capital of Breeden
and in the surrounding villages, if you
walk a block. With wide straps over their
shoulders and across their breasts, their
feet shod iu wooden shoes, their hands
generally hare, the women of the land may
lilt seen in masses taking the places of bor
ses, day in and dny out, through every
province of Germany. These masters of
the European world sen nothing wrong iu
Huh. They continue on their way perfect
ing the machinery of war, swallowing up
the manhood of the nation in the pursuit,
of dominion. At America, and her ways,
means, and people, the Ginnnn raises the
voice of scorn. A benighted people, they
say, in the wilderness as to education, und
barbarous as to manners. None but tlm
Germans know how to enjoy life ration
ally, the* as good as declare. Meantime,
what is the enjoyment of tho millions of
mothers who share the harness before don
key cults with cows and dogs ? If wu
have no unaversities of Heidlcbers, Liop
sie, Bonn and Berlin, with their wonder
ful diiliisions of practical and elegant 1 m a
in p, wo have J -/ this 'ecgrt.d:itii tl 1
at least. From five in the morning until j
long after dark at night us you staud by \
the city gates you will see this singular!
spectacle kept up, the employes present- j
ing th'e same general nppearnce, Lore a
woman and two dogs, there a woman and {
a cow, and presently two women and no I
dog, and so on. These carts supply the
produce of daily consumption in the towns
wood, ooul, potatoes, and the, like. In
most eases the head of the house accompa
nies these novel cortege, but never in har
ness. He holds tho reins, or the whip,
and smokes the stump that yon invariably
see in tho German’s teeth. Having dis
posed of the load by dint of tugging
through miles of cobbled streets, the wea
ry women return at night homeward, the
masters of the cortege, who aided with iris
counsel only in the work of tho day, not
uufrequently stretching himself in the
empty cart to be hauled home by the do
cile drudges of Iris household. Yet these
are the mothers of the sous that conquer
ed tho first military nation ot Europe,
France. Even under the bast conditions,
women do not hold the place in Germany
that is conceded to them iu America. A
mini’s wife is virtually his chattel. The
law awards it so, and custom sanctions it.
This is marked in a hundred ways. In the
streets, for instance, there is none of the
respectful courtesy shown 1 the sex that
may be semi in the remotest back wood
town of America. The side-walks in all
the German cities, save the new part of
Berlin, are merely single blocks of pave
ment jutting from the building. No matter
how wet tho day or how muddy thostreeta
a German never thinks of stepping out to
give the lady tho walk. Quite the con
trary, if she doesn’t flee she is rudely jos
tled into the slush us if she was a beast.
The Imaginative Sex.
Mr. T. W. Higginson believes in imagi
nation, and that women excel in that high
province of mind. Ho says: “I rejoice
that iu women, at least, here, ns in Ger
many, the imaginative faculty still retains
Us hold. I remem be l that wueu Mr, Em
erson was lecturing iu Boston, many years
ago, an eminent lawyer declined going to
hear him on the ground that Mr. Emerson
was so hard to comprehend; ‘but,’ lie
added, ‘my daughters understand him and
they go.’ The remark was generally
quoted by the lawyer’s admirers us good
satire, aud by Mr. Emerson’s admirers as
good praise. Lot any one notice in our
high schools, where hoys and girls recite
together, which sex cares the most for lit-
and he will hud that if literatme
is of any value, the preference affords
grounds on which the intellect of women
may he defended. Cotton Mater says that
Arina supported his blasphemies by first
converting five hundred virgins thereunto;
and most of our poets have first won their
way by enlisting and admiring constitu
ency of women. The imaginative dispo
sition is there, in the feminine nature; hut
if women have not criticised as profoundly
and created as grandly, even in literature
and art us men, it is owing to other caus
es, often expounded and forming a part of
the general intellectual discouragement
undos which they have labored.. Woman
lias at last fought her way into the field of
fiction aud now stands at its head, both in
quantity and quality of work; hut it is
true, even hero, that she inis fought her
way through sneers and discourage
ment. It is a significant fact that the two
greatest living masters of fiction are wo
men who have found it to their advantage
to write under the names of men.”
[George Idiot and George Sand.]
It is suggested to tho political revivalists
that all the bahl-beaded men might re
vive the ’Whig party,
MISCELLANEOUS.
“I always thought I should never rear
that child,” said an old lady of 90on beur
ing of tho death of her bob, aged 70.
Josh Billings says: "Never do any
work before breakfast, if it is necessary
to work before breakfast, have your break
fast first."
An Oregon paper offers ftftepn cents a
bushel for manuscript poems—if they are
mi good paper hud written on one side of
the sheet.
Mark Twain says: “To the poor whites
along tho Mississippi river chills are a
merciful provision of Providence, enabling
them to take exercise without exertion.”
The man who predicted a mild wiuter
because corn-husks wore thin, was found
frozen to death in a corn-field tho other
day a few miles from Dayton, They bo
iled liiiu close to the ground-hog.
Tho New Orleans Times thinks n war
between the United States mid Mexico is
imminent, growing out of the Mexican de
predations ou Texas frontier.
NO. 50.
I'm sorry to bear of your embarrass
■mint," said a gentleman to a frieud who
had failed heavily "Not at all,” said the
latter; “Keep your sympathy for iny
creditors; it is they who are embarrassed.
Bore’s picture of the “Seventh Oriole of
Dante’s Hell,” contains9oofigures. Those
in tho foreground uro tho size of life.
They are grouped in a efrelo shout Danta
and Virgil, who are ou a central eminence.
T‘ An arteiioii well in Mission Buy
near Hum I raucisco, over half a milo from
the shore. It is 200 foot, deep, and
through a pipe eleven inches in diameter
furnishes 100,000 gallons of pure fresh wa
ter every twenty-four hours.
At a horticultural exhibition in Paris
last full, several gourds worn exhibited
that had gourds of other varieties grafted
on them. The operation was performed
by introducing the stem of a gourd
through the skin of one to which it was to
be joined.
The six follies of science are said to be
the following : The quadrate of the cirele,
the establishment, of perpetual motion, the
philosopher’s stone, tho transmutation of
metals, divination, or the discovery of se
crets by magic, uud, lastly, judicial astiol- ‘
ogy.
A sensible girl declined to engage her
self to the object of her affections until his
father had given a written guarantee that
his sou was not only sound “in wind and ]
lunb,” but of good morals, gentle, and
warranted to behave both “in single and
double harness. ” The girl didn’t intend
to be seen in a divorce court.
A genial bald headed gentlemen, while
in Paris, went one day to the Zoological
Gardens. The weather was warms Mid ho
lay down on a bench. Presently lie fell
asleep, and was aroused by a warmth about
tho bead. An infatuated ostrich had cornu
along, and, mistaking his head for nn egg,
settled down with the determination to
hatch it.
The now Encyclopedia Br:tara*tfliys) : '
“If the nntural resources of America wero
fully developed it would afford sustenance
to il, GOO, 000,00(1 inhabitants—- number
five times as great us tho entire mass of
Unman beings now existing oa Hie globe.
And, wlint is even more surprising, it is
not more iuiprobuble that this prodigious
population will be iu existence within
three or four centuries.”
A lady wont k> jmy iinf respects to ono
of jK !..*• • * ': eg o list of baby*
hood, when"fhi! hlflWing colloquy took
place between her and the little foup-yean
old sister of the new comer : “PVe come
for that baby now,” said tb.T lady. “You
can't have it, ’ was tho reply. “But I
must have it—l catne over ou purpose,"
urged the visitor. “We ciin-’lt spare it all,’’
persisted the child; "but I’D get apiece off
paper and you can cut a yatcmi.."
Coughing can sometimes be stopped
by pressing on the nerves of the lip in tho
neighborhood of Hie nose. A pressure
there will almost certainly prevent a cough
when it is beginning. It ia generally
known that sneezing may be stopped by
this plan, but it is new to many that it can
check coughing. Pressing right iu front
of the ear may also stop coughing. It is
also preventive of hiccough, hilt innoh
less so thnt of coughing or sneezing.
Mixrd Paries.—At a dancing party iu
Western Kentucky tho other night, to
which several women came with babies,
some young men changed the clothes of
the infants while theia parents were dan
cing, and mixed them up generally. The
following day there was a great row,
and ns tiio families lived miles apart, it
took several days to unmix the children.
Picked- Up. —An Irishman, addicted to
telling strange stories, said he saw n mnn
beheaded, with his hands tied behind him,
who directly picked up his head and put
it ou his shoulders in the right place
“Ha! ha! hn !” said a bystander ; "bow
Could he pick up his head when his hands
wero tied behind him?" “And, shnre,
what n pnrtyfool ye ate l' said Pat. “And
couldn’t be pick it up. with lri*teeth ? To
ould Nick wfd yoirr botheration !’’ .
A Sad Exteriencb. After shaking
hands at the ferry dock the other day, one
colored man inquired of another :
“Didn’t you marry do widder Jones
about de fust of Jinunry ?”
“Dal’s me, I did,” w as the answer, “but
I’ve done left her.”
“Who 1 how’s dat ?”
“Well, de fust week she nailed me ‘hon
ey;’do next week she sulked around aud
called mo ‘ole Richards;’ do next week she
cum for me wid a flat-iron and broke two
ribs, and I’m gwine to keep right away
from Uur.”
Roosters, says Josh Billings, are the pu
gulists among birds, and, having no suit
iibio shoulder they strike from) tiia- heel:
If a rooster gits whipped the liens- march
off with the other rooster, if he ain’t half
so big or as lmnsunn It is pluck that
wins a lien. Roosters, as a class, wont do j
any household w-orkjyu can’t get a rooster 1
to pay enuy attention tew a young one.
They spend most of their time-in crowing
and strutting, and once in-a while they
find a worm, which they make a great fuss
over, calling their wives- from a great
distance, apparently to treaWbam, but
just as the liens git tharo, this elegant cuss
bends over and gobble*.up the worm.
Just like a man for all tile world !
The Augusta (Me.) Jljumial tells a
strange story of a young: man at Vassal- ,
boro, who a few days ago apparently died
of consumption, with which lie lirnl long
been sick. The body was- prepared for
burial, but us it was nbonktn be placed iu
the coilin life seemed to return, and though
for weeks he hail not been: able to articu
late, be begun to speak iu u clear voice,
telling of what lie had seen in the other
world, whither he seemed to have been
after a few moment* of darkness. He ap
peared to be in perfect health, and des
cribed bis experience in luugnnge which
seemed extravagant to his hearers, who
1 came in from all the, neighborhood to 1 lis
-1 ten to him, but, before night he bank away
- again, and uo signs of life appearing fiT.
j sievelal days, he was finally buried.