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GALLAHER’S INDEPENDENT,
PUBLISHED EVEHY SATURDAY AT
QUITMAN, GA.,
by
J. C. GALLAHER.
TISR.IIS OF SUBSCRIPTION t
TWO DOLLARS per Annum Afhnwce.
EVERY bay.
Oh, trifling tanka so often done.
Yet over to be dou aucwl
Oh, cares whfeh oome with every sun.
Mom after morn, the long yearn through!
We Hhriuk boncKth their paltry nway—
The irksome call* of every day.
The rest less *en*e of wasted power,
The tirencme round of little things,
Are hard to bear an hour by hour
Ita tedious iteration brings ;
Who shall evade wr who delay
The small demand* of every day ?
The bolder in the torrent’* course
By tide and tempest lashed hi vain,
Obey* the ware-whirled pebble's force,
And yields its substance grain by graiu;
So crumble strongest lives away
Beneath the wear of every day.*.
Who finds the lion in his lair,
Who tracks the tiger for his life,
May wound them ere they are aware,
Or couqner them in desperate strife;
Yet powerless he to scathe or slay
The Vexing knats of every day.
The steady strain that never stops
Is mightier than the fiercest shook ;
The constant fall of water drops
Will groove the adamantine rock ;
We feol oar noblest powers decay,
iu feeble wars with every day.
Wc rise to meet a hoary blow—
Our souls a sudden bravery fills—
But we endue not always so
The drop by drop of little ills ;
We still deplore and still obey
The hard behests of every day.
The heart which bol lly feces death
Upon the bat tie-field and dares
and bayonet, faints beneath
The needle points of petty carts;
The stoutest spirits they dismay—
The tiny stings of every day.
And even saints of holy fame.
Whose souls by faith have overcome,
Who wore amid the cruel flame
The molten crown of martyrdom,
Bore not without complaint alwuy
The petty pains of e\cry dey.
Ah, more than martyr's aurovv
And more than hero's'heart of tire,
We need the humble strength f soul
Which daily t 41s and ills require;
Hweet patience grant us, if you n-y,
A.t added grace for every day.
—E . A. Allen, in Scribner's
-
HOW I BECAME A FAEJIE2.
One fine Rinnm t <ifreinnoii. 1 detri
mitied to fior-unie ft farmer. Don't, for
g ftifke. Chink jluit I jvaa going ti>
buy ii farm, for such 'ftere not my ir-bn-
No, not by iiny means. Why I
never joined ilie Patrons of Husbandry
Wait because I hail tveii blackballed by
That same orgimizarion something less
thuli lmlf u dozen times. Ami why I was
not going to hay a farm, the reader enu
gttefis —I hadn't the required uuiouut of
funds.
Bn I am wandering nwny from inv fine
slimmer afternoon. To retain, I will tell
To if why mnl in what way I was going to
lieeome ft farmer : My hank aeeount was
no more, aud uiv landlady would not wait
with me for another week's hoard, hence
my departure from the city and my arrival
among the farmers. The time was spring
when I wandered among the the rural ilia
triets.
The grass Was just starting from its
mother earth, and looked inviting in the
extreme to a lar.v young, man with the
world before him, and uo one to take owe
of hut himself. When I.say inviting, I
don't mean inviting to eat, liut to lie down
and take solid comfort thereon. I threw
myself on the green sward 'nenth the
shade of a friendly bil.-h growing near the
roadside. I was lying thus, dropping inlo
s delightful snooze, when a voice from the
highway disturbed my calm repose.
’•Say, young feller, wliat's the matter?"
I remained perfectly quiet, turning tlie
matter over in iny mind carefully. I was
lying on my back, and, with very little
Ixxlily exertion, I raised my left leg to a
perpendicular position, and gently moved
my foot up and down, and waited to see
the effect. And to this day, I solemnly be
lieve, though I know I am liable to be
killed for saying it, that tbi motion was
the sign of distress amoug the Patrons, for
in an instant the man iu the wagon was at
Kj Bine. Bending over me, he said :
vWftA sw*. V*
I sajld np/Miffl £oi: a ironies*, vowktmg
if V wlui.t ails, you.’-’ wap the test word, and,
if so, i| (hfijf w0u.14 bp tire proper response.
Finally I groaned out- with a mysterious
tnd uuknowu wi ikio£ of my ft rigors—the
words, “corn bread.” With a bounding
heart, I saw I had beyond a doubt hit the
Odilon the head.
Without a word my fraternal brother
assisted me to arise, and led me limping
toward the wagon, which stood in the road
near by. He helped me into the wagon,
and, after 1 had imbibed something from
a little brown jug, I was. able to tell to my
rescuer the story of my wrongs. This I
will not repeat for reasons best known to
myself. Suffice it to say, that tin; farmer
was deeply touched by my tale. I wound
up by telling him that I wanted to got
work on a farm.
“Well, now,” said my resoner, ‘Tam
looking for a young chap to stay on my
farm. Did you ever shear sheep 1”
“Oh, yes,*" I said "I have done as much
qf that as any other work.about the farm.”
This was the truth, for I hud never been
qu the grounds of a homestead iu my
life.
I was just going to tell him what a jolly
time Ii had experienced last Christmas,
When , the idea struck me that I might be
VOL. IT.
trending on dangerous grounds, so I deter
mined to remain silent upon the subject
until I bad learned something about it.
“How much will you pay a month for a
good shenrei ?” I ventured, ikteVßUucd not
to air my ignorance.
“How much a month ?” said he, with
unmistakable astonishment. “W hy, man,
I won't have shearing enough to last a
week.”
‘•Oh-, yes," I replied, “shearing on a
smtiU scale, I understand."
“Small scale 1” he repeated, w ith em
phasis. “How many sheep are you used
to shearing iu the spring ?”
“Oh, thut's all right,” I replied, coolly.
“Of course you will not shear as many
sheep in the spring us iu the fall.” And
here I commeueed to whistle an unknown
melody.
“ Voting men," said my companion, sav
agely, “did you ever hear of shearing
sheep iu the fall ?”
Without paying **tW9tk> to this pointed
ipiT-stioii, I asked :
“How mini'll w ill you. pay for a farm
hand, generally?"
“Well, I’ll give yon about eight dollars
a month, and feed.”
I gave a prolonged whistle, wondering
what I would feed, hut not daring to ask.
“What do you say, young man? I)o you
hire?"
I didn’t exactly Understand him, but 1
said “yes," at once.
We arrived at the farm a little after
dark, and at ten o’eloek I got into bed be
tween two bmly farm hands, and soon
dropped to sleep to music of quacking
geese, barking dogs, and my two bed fel
lows snoring au accompaniment. Iu the
morning, or rather in- the night, at half
past three, I was aroused from shearing
sheep by the man behind me rolling over
me Mil l standing on the floor, When 1 was
able to speak, I said :
“Who’s sick?"
No reply.
“Where's ihe fire? '
“No foolin’, young man,” was Ihe gruff
reply. “loll’d better- be tumlin' out, or 1
von will mis- your breakfast."
During this speech the speaker was
jumping hurriedly- into his pants and
Boot*.
••Well, yon are hungrier than I ever
was, although l have often heeli ill liei and of
a square meal. But I think 1 would have
to be pretty bad oil before I would hurry
as you d<-K "
Hut, ere I Jtnd. fhri-h-a, my uadi-ie*.
was half way down stairs. I rose, and
leisurely put on inv clothes and went flown
stairs, guid.d by a piece of tallow caudle
spntti ling iu an oM dirty lantern. \\ hen
1 lamb/, in the kiteln n, I found the fume r,
his soli and t wo hired men standing ln-fore
a bench, on which were about half adozeii
lanterns similar to the one in my bed
chamber. I was astonished. Could it be
possible that these dirty lanterns were the
productions of the farm?
“Here is yutir lantern, young feller,”
said tho “boss,” as I heard the two men
call him.
I took the proffered production, and in
solemn silence we marched through the
hack door iu single file, and wended onr
way in the direction of the burn, the boss
taking the lead, the two hired men next,
and the author gallantly bringing up the
rear.
I thought this a strange way of going to
breakfast, but said nothing. I was not yet.
thoroughly awnkoT mid, ns we were thus
marching along, 1 f< 11 into a sort, of doze,
mid dreamed I wits oil a railroad train, and
the men before me wen uiy bnik-men.
“All aboard !’’ I shouted, swinging my
lantern above and around my head.
I suddenly became aware of my mistake.
I had struck the mall next in front of me
ou’the nose, and strange ait may seem,
he was without doubt dreaming the same
thing as I was, thinking himself a con
ductor also ; for ho tinned toward me and
said something. I could not tell whether
it was “all aboard” or not; anyhow, lie
; swung his lantern in such a way that it
struck my head, and the lantern was
smashed to atoms.
■'What's up V" I said. “Off the track?’’
I He made spine remftik about uncoupling
' me, but ns I was no lmim to debate, 1
' turned and followed my train, while my
' kt.hf*i| vunchwiior %'M knelt to. the ,*u
tigm to procure (mother lantern and return
j on the next train.
I will not relate what transpired while at
the barn, but 1< t the reader guess we did
! something by ..uying, after two hours’ work
we returned to breakfast, which consisted
chiefly of cold turnips and fat salt pork;
with nothing tr drink but black coffee
without sugar or milk. When breakfust
was over, we again repaired to the burn—
(his time to shear sheep. They were all
i huddled together in a small pen near the
barn, where they had been put the night
previous. The boss and I got into the pen
for tlie purpose of catelfiug and handing
out to the two men, who were to carry
l them into the barn.
On getting in, I was cautioned to look
i out for the old ram, But LW* not afraid;
■ I determined not to catch, the old rum, and
; thus remain unhurt. Biltalas lfor. human
nature, how sadly I was deceived, For a
wonder, my first attempt to qat<jh a sick'y.
looking lamb was a success. I picked him
up iu triumph, nDd started to w here
man was in waiting, but on the way my
burden became restive. So I pnt it down
I in the centre of "the pen, and stooped fond
ly over it to rest myself. I-was thus stand
ing over the helpless sheep, when a voice
calk'd Hit :
QUITMAN, GA., SATURDAY, APRIL 10, 1875.
“Look out for the ram 1"
The next thing I knew I was flying
through tho air over the fence. I struck
the ground, face downward, of course. -
Presently I arose, and, finding no bones
broken, struck out into the open country
beyond. The farmer laughed, the hired
men ditto, the sheep bleated, tho dogs
harked, and 1 well, never mind that.
Before I was out of hearing, the farmer
marie some remark about paying for meals
and lodging; but, without heeding his
plaintive appeal, I rushed bravely onward,
vowing never to look on a Granger again.
- -♦ • ♦ —
How McGinnis Won.
A man whom I w ill call McGinnis, says
Max Adeler, represents a county in the
State Senate of Pennsylvania. lie is a
It publican, and lie was elected by a large
majority, although his county hitherto has
always gone Democratic. Everybody was
amazed to find that it bad elected a Re
publican candidate, and nobody could un
derstand the reason for it. When McGin
nis came to Harrisburg, I happened to
meet him, and I asked him how it was.
He said :
New I don’t mind tilling you how I
worked that thing, but I don’t want you
to give me nwav on it. It’s a secret. When
I was nominated, I saw at. once that I had
no chance of gettin elected if the thing
was run on a square basis. Douney, my
opponent, was a Democrat an’ a church
member, an’ if I’d jes laid low an’ done
nothin’, he'd ’iiv sheeted into that Senate
like a snow slide into a valley. You know
flint when people can't possibly get a
thing, that's the very thing they want
wnsa than anything on this yer earth.
Now, yon can’t build a railroad in my
county anyhow yon tlx it. Tiler' 's noth
in''nqi ther’ Unit hills mi' mountains, an'
Con might, ns well try to bore a hole
through the Alleghenies with n bar of soap
as to construct a railroad over them hills,
cnisiquently, the people is jes wild to
have a rsvfrrmd in flip enontv, because it’s
impossible. Well, sir, jes before election
T hired a gang of 'bout, eight hmidn and
men, au’ I lauight a lot ’o chains and spy
glasses, an’ them instruments that survey
ors use. and puttv soon I lied a lot of
fellers lavin’ Hut a line o’ railroad through
every garden, and’ back vnvd. and perbiter
oateji in the county. When a gang would
bust through a fence and git tfrwnrk, the
farmer'll come runtiin' out and hollerin’:
“Wlu t iu tho thunder are you fellers
doin'?” an' the men they'd sav : “ What
are we doin'? Why. we're 1 yiu’ out the
line of old McGinnis's railroad. Haven't 1
von heatd about it?” Then the favmer'd'
go in all' suv to his wife : “Maria, ii-i a
Democrat, lmt. I’m -gein’ to vote for old
MoGimti*. Why, g'osb 1 he's hnildiu’ a
railroad right through oui 'giirdeii. WeTlq
he worth a miliiou when it’s dime.” That s
how the old tiling Winked, When the,
• •ll.tui* n-.-.i I scoop, and i in' tv li.'Anehip i
hy 'ho t, fifteen bundled majority, an'
here T am. Stuart, wasn’t if ?
The lilt lie of this is, that it is a true
story.
< . *-
Gems of Thought.
Noni.r Dki tw. Nations can better win
success hy noble deeds than by the cruel
destruction of human life for selfish aims.
Bemoious Life.—There are those who
shrink from making a beginning-in relig
ions life because they conceive that they
luck the ability to pursue it
OosvENHfflnr. —If we waited until it was
perfectly convenient, half of the good ac
tions of life would never he accomplished,
and very few of its successes.
Gratitude is like tlie good faith of tra
ders—it maintains commerce; and wo often
pay, not because it is just to discharge our
debts, hat Unit we nmy more readily find
people to trust us.
Dorset Good to Others. —The law of
the pleasure in having done anything for
another is, that the one almost immediate
ly forgets having given, and the other re
members having eternally received.
Staiiixo Dow n. There is a vast quan
tity of nonsense talked about bad men not
looking you in the face. Don’t trust that
conventional idea. Dishonesty will stare
honesty out of countenance any day iu the
week, if there is anything to be got by it.
The true secret of living at peace with
all the world is to have an humble opinion
! of ourselves.
Be Social. —If you wish to live the life 1
of a human being and not of a fungus, I e 1
social, he brotherly, tie charitable, he syui* j
’•athetie, and labor earnestly for the good ;
of your kind.
A SwfcET Laugh.- A woman has no
more bewitching grace, than a sweet laugh,
ft leaps from Wee heart an a clear, sparkling
rill; and the heart that hears it feels us if 1
bathed in an exhilirating spring,
SiseiißT MAUiiiAGi.B. —A woman should,
never consent tube married secretly. "She i
should distrust a man who has any reasou
to.shroud in darkness the act which in liis
own estimation should be the crowning
glory of his life.
Self Import aSce.—When a person feels
disposed to overestimate his own impor
tance, let him remember that mankind gpt
along very well before his birth, and that
iji III) probability they will get along very
well after his death.
A Tun: Ladv.—Beauty and style are
not tlio surest passports to, respectability.
Some of tile noblest specimens of woman
hood that the world lias ever, seen have
presented the plainest and most unprepos
sessing appearance. A woman a worth is
to be estimated by tlie real goodness of
heart, the greatness of her sou!, and the
purity and sweetness of her character and
disposition.
—
“Yes, hoys, said Nancy Bell,” a female
; blacksmith of lowa, as she straddled a
! horse’s leg, aud yanked off a shoe, “I was
brought up to this business, and so was
i ray mother; and there ain’t been uo
. bV.ehu scandal in our family, for a fact.
Qno of Landaulet Williama’ Tools—How
tho Administration Sought to Carry
Alabama Last Fall.
Tho report of the Congressional Com*
mittee appointed lust year to investigate
“outrages” in Alabama, ima recently been
printed. It covers fourteen hundred closo
ly printed pages, and probably contains
more lies lban any similar number of pages
over printed in this or any other country.
What sort of tools the Grant administra
tion used during that campaign, nmy be
learned from au extrn< ! from the testimony
of one J. G. Hester, who figured so exten
sively in the Sumter < unty dragonade.
Asa record of mmiixed Reoundrelism, it is
without u parallel. One of the Democratic
members of tlie com mitt h* examined Hes
ter us ToHw:
(J. I)i<l you talk to the merchants hero
about lvukiux, and all that sort of thing?
A Yes, si i*; I carried plugs of* tobatco
in both pockets, so that they could see I
was a peddler. My maiu object was to
talk with them, to get acquainted with |
them, und find out what vhey were up to. J
(,). You spoke to them, saying how you !
had carried the election iu North Carolina
by killing negroes ?
A. Yes, sir; politics seemed to be the j
only topic at the time.
Q. Your object was to deceive them?
A. Yes, for a time.
(J. You told them lies for tlie express !
purpose of getting into their confidence, i
did you not ?
A. 1 told them what I conceive to be de
ceptions. You can call them lies, if you
choose.
Q. Yon did evil tlmfc good might come ? !
A. 1 did not consider that, that was e\il.
I am a member of the Methodist church. I
Ido not want to do anything wrong. ]
try to do light. I invoke God’s blessing
on everything I do. night and morning.
Q. And yet, you lied to them ?
A. I lied, if you like to call it a lie.
Q. Don’t you call it a lie?
A. 1 do not. it is not like a lie one
would tell to the injury of an innocent
person.
Q. You tliiuk you were telling the truth,
then, when you were telling this ?
A. Yes, sir; I think it was the truth in ;
the eyes of God.
Q. You profess to be telling the truth
now, do you*?
A. I do.
<). What guarantee’ or assurance can you
give us that you me telljng the truth now,
more than you gave to these people?
A. 1 feel the high. ■ obligation now, sir.
Q. Is the obligation < • tell (he truth any
greater now than it wa.v ;o fell the truth at
all times? *
A. T< s, sir; tin* very highest obligation 1
t at could rest up on a man rests upon me
now to toll the truth.
U, V/ev? did not J $ S
A. ~b\s, siv; the obl*.*;fli ui that I had
then waft to my government, to find out
the truth, and in order to do so I to ,
deccivi these people.
Q. Ly fal lln od deception ?
A. By deception.
Q. JJy falsehood and li '■ ?
A. II you choose to call it lies, I have
no objection.
Q. Did you go to the, members of the
Methodist church, or tin* Methodist minis?
tors, and say, “1 am litre to fern t out
these murders. Can you assist mo iu any
way ? ’■
A. I did not.
O. You did not go to tho ministers of
the gospel ?
A. No, sir. Why, we sent a minister to ;
tho penitentiary in Booth Carolina for
being a Kuklux.
Q. The question is this: Did you go 1
turd appeal to the best citizens of Hum ter j
and Livingston counties for information, j
or did you go to those belonging to yo u I
own political party?
A. Why, sit*, alter I had made myself
known there these, men would not speak
to me,
(), Yon were traveling around there ns a
spy or detective of the government, or a
government agent, practicing deception
and worming yourself in to ascertain the
private sentiments of the citizens. Did
you at any time advise them to drive these
negroes away and to Kill them?
A. I encouraged them iu their way of
talking.
A Schoolmaster Around Loose.
Four or five days ago, amnn about forty ■
years of age, looking as if he lmd been j
hauled over a dusty floor for au hour or i
two, called upon one of the members of
the Board of Edncution, and introduced 1
himself as William Cadnon Harrison, of j
Saginaw county. Be was politely received, j
nml he commenced business by promptly ;
j saying : 1
'“l’m a-loolting for a situation as a school
! teacher. ” l>
“Ah, ha,” replied the m mber, wouder
i ing why the man wasn’t looking for a
l wood-pile.
“I could have brought a pile of ree.om
-1 mende so high,” continued the man, nieas
| uring with his hands, “but recommends
don’t amount to nothing.”
“And liave you any school in view ?”
> asked the. member.
“I want to get in here, iu Detroit,” re
j plied the men. “What wages do you pay?”
“I uni afraid” began the member,
when the schoolmaster interrupted:
“Oh, well, I s’pose you pay going wages,,
and that’s ail I can ask for; I don’t want
to put on style and live high, ns I’m get
ting a lectio old and ought to save money.”
“As I was. going to remark”—said the
| member, when the schoolmaster suddenly
inquired :
Do they allow licking -in the schools
i here? If they do, I'm the man you want
to dress the boys down. I’Ve had 'em come
for me by the dozen, and it would do your
j heart good to see the way I laid it on ’em I
! Why, when I had that school in Bay eoun
' ly, I thought nothing of licking thirty
scholars a day, besides healing 12 classes
reuite !. I’m an old screamer, I tell you,
and,there’s fun in we when you get me
woke up I”
“I hardly think”—commenced the mem
ber again, when the schoolmaster jumped
i up and said :
l “Of course you won’t take the unless I
' pass examination, hut , hain’t afraid of
! not passing. I’d like to see a word that I
couldn’t spell ! For iuftance : ‘Catarrh.’
•C-a-t-a-r-r-h, catarrh.’ ‘Dandelion.’ D-a-n
--d-e-l-i-o-n, dandelion,’ or try me on words
iof four syllables, ‘Lugubrious.’ ‘L-n-g-u-
I b-r i-o-u-s, lngubrions.’ Oh, I can knock
the socks off u these V-H-111ad
j teachers, and not half try.”
“I should like to help you,” put in the
member, “but”—
“Oh, you needn’t think I’m behind on
! geography,” interrupted the teacher. -
! “For instance : What is nn isthmus ? An
! isthmus is a narrow strip of land eonnect
| mg two larger bodies. Is the world round or
Mat ? Hound. Why ? Because it is.
! Which is the largest river in the world?
! The Amazon. Which is the highest moun
tain? The Andes. I might go on for 75
days this way, und then not tell you half
1 1 know !”
“You seem to lie pretty well posted in
geography, but as 1 wanted to tell”
‘And on grammar, too !” exclaimed the
teacher, jumping up again. “What is a
noun ? A noun is the name of any person,
place or thing. Give us an example : Man,
dog, cat, coon, goat, jack-knife, gate-post.
Wind, ure the principitt conjunctions ? And,
as, both, because, for, if, tl.af, or, nor,
neither, either, and so forth, and so forth.
Oh 1 I'm right on tho roof of the meeting
house when you sling grammar at me.”
The member was getting desperate,- and
as soon as he could get in u word, he said:
“J will take your name, and as soon as
a vacancy”- -
“Ah I know uyßUmcti'c from cover to
Cover r > exclaimed the man, standing Up
again. “I can go through the tallies like i
lightning through a haystack, and when
you get to fractions and cube-root, I’m
awful—l weigh a ton and a half, and still
growing ! ’ltilhuietie’s my favorite study,
,and VII give you SSO to find n man who'll
saw sums in two and plane ’em down as
quickly as I can !”
His speech took the wind out of him,
and the member managed to say there was
no Vacancy at present, but ho would take
his name und consider his case as soon as
one occurred :
“I’d like to commence right off!” re
plied the man, “but I’m willing to wait.
!L re’s my name, and the minic f get your
letter, l’il come d>wn n-flying. If you get
me, you dou’t get much style, but you get
solid, old, coinivon sense and genuine ed
ucation. You won’t see scholars playing!
hide-and-hoop around the wood-box, or
marbles on tlie floor— no you won’t.
And lie went down stairs. -Detroit Free
Dress.
An Irrepttstoibie Pussy.
11Y MAX AUkl-KU.
*l
We have been trying to lose our eat. We !
are somew hat fond <of her, hut she had a ;
way of producing kitten, eveiy few mouths
in various portions of the house that was
very disagreeable ; and on the evenings j
when her maternal duties were net urgent
she u u’d to mount tlie back fence and spit,
and fight, and yowl with a sorceclvliko u i
fog w liisth-. So she became a nuisance, j
and we determined to lo.se her. I had a
grudge against my wife's aunt, and the first.
Hurt- she-.came to Vi‘it u I gave the cat to'
her, and she took it uv D> Vh.'jaclc lphia, ;
about thirty miles, ill a basket. There was!
only one cut wl’.cu my aunt started, bill when I
she got home there were six. The cat had i
kittened in the basket on the way up. I j
believe the cat would have had kitten:, on !
the tep of tho Baptist Church steeple, if
/ihe could have get there. We had pence
aivmnd the house fr a couple of nights;
but on tie.* third night we wore start led by j
a scream from Urn back yard like the yell
of a Comanche Indian with the delirium
tremens. I looked out at the window and
observed onr eat engaged in an excited nr-;
gument with another cat on the smoke j
house roof. She laid come hack. The
next day f traded her oil for u bunch of;
beets to a funner from over the river in j
New Jersey, and he took lieu home. Li
knew then that we had lost her finally, and j
as night after night went by without noise, t
wc felt glad that she was lost for good. A
few months afterward, as I was going up:
to bed, I saw a wet and draggled animal in
the hall. Upon dose inspection, L found
that it was our cat. Bhe lmd swam tlie:
river and come : and she had just had kit
tens on the front stairs. The farmer sub- 1
seqnently made me pay him four prices for
the beets. That night she resumed her vo-1
ealization <>n tlie back fence, and from the
vigor she displayed 1 judge she was trying j
to converse with another cat on the other
side of the liver, two miles distant. The
next day 1 tied a brick to her nock and j
chucked* her into the stream. Two hours
afterward, she was in the yard again, j
damp, ami with a cold in her lungs, but
still inclined t< be sociable with the other
cats, and still able to work off a shriek that j
woke all the babies in the neighborhood.
As she didn’t, seem inclined to stay lost, 1
took her out. next morning and hitched her
| with a rope behind the rear car of an ex
j press and in a few minutes she was
proceeding up the track with frightful ve
-1 locity, clawing and spitting, and halloaing,
ias she bowled along. That afternoon I
i drowned the kittens, and just as they
breathed their lust, the buakeuiau on tue
: railroad called and >uid somebody had fas
tened- my cat to 1j is train, and he had
; I'cMcned her and brought her back, for
| which services he wanted two dollars. She
I seemed to have nn unconquerable iudispo
: fcitiou to remain lost. Bhe was not much
; out of repair. One of her legs was broken,
but her voice was Bound, und while com
muning with another cat that evening, she
! emitted one wild shriek, which br night
i Cooley over to my house with his gun to
: ascertain who it was that cried murder 1”
A few days afterward she had kittens
; again on the parlor sofa; and that night I
hitched her to a couple of sky-rockets that 1
I had bought, and touched them off. Site
whizzed for awhile nronnd among the,
stars, and I thought I saw the corpse full
i over toward Wilmington ; but the next
evening, while coming home from church,
I saw some cuts holding a synod in the
front yard. One of them wus our cat,
singed, and a Ltlle discouraged, but still i
eu pliable of drowning out all the other eats
,in a chorus. She still remained milost.
The following morning I curried hermit
: to Keyser’s farm and ran her through the
| threshing machine, mid sho came out a
i mass of pulp and fur. Then \vu buried
her. But I dont feel perfectly certain
about her yet. I shouldn't be much sur
| prised if she would come together again,
| resurrect and come home to have some
more kittens and it few fri all yowls ou the
; summit of that fence. Ii she does, I am
going to move to Kansas.
The Detroit Free Press says this is tho
i season of the year when the farmer tells
jliis son John that if he will sort over ten
| bushels of potatoes, feed the stock, repair
j that fence, and ref hmgle the corn crib, be
t may have t!i,y, rpst, of thp. da.y to go.,rabbit
hunting.
Mrs. Grimes’ Mother Fixes Joseph.
[ Mr. Grimes, the second supervisor, lmd
; n bad attack of cholera morbus, superin
duced by an excess!\a indulgence in voley
poley pudding on Fast Day. He groaned
considerably, foiwthe pain was very great,
and with arms folded across his stomach,
and body bent over, he weaved to and fro
on the chair, while the scalding tears roll
ed ilodu his cheeks, llis wife got him
some paregoric, and applied hot cloths to
his stomach, and one of the neighbors de
scribed composition tea, and another mixed
him camphor and hot water, but the relief
was not sullieieut. Mrs. Grimes was flur
ried. W ilh the children to attend to, and,
the hot cloths to change*, and the remedies
to prepare, she had both her hands und
mind "lull. Besides, Mr. Grimes had at eu
tit to entertain the attack before the dinner
dishes were washed. The house was con-
sequent \y in some disorder. Asa last re
sort, Mrs. Grimes’ mother suggested a
mustard poultice. She said mustard was
the lust tiling she knew of for drawing
out inflammation, and it was very penetra
ting. The poultice was ju. pared. It was
made strong, to take light hold. Mrs I
Grimes’ luulhev held it before the tire to j
keep it warm, while Mrs. Grimes went into j
the sitting-room to apprise Mr. Grimes of j
w hat was coining. There is au instinctive '
horror in every human bieastof n mustard
poultice. This governed Mrs. Grimes, und j
caused her to commit her husband.
“Joseph, mother ssys a mustard poultice
will relieve you at once, and 1 have got
one made to put on you.”
“Mustard,” faltered the unhappy man,
scarcely repressing a shiver. “Mustard?"
“Yes; it won’t hurt you much.”
“ But it’ll burn like thunder,” he
groaned.
“Wind if it does burn a little, I guess
you can stand it,” said the tired woman,
flushing slightly.
Mr.-Grimes was somew hat skeptical* but
he consented to lie down on the sofa, and
prepare for the application. Mrs. Grimes
brought- iii the poultice when he was ready.
The eyes of the second supervisor opened
tfi their utmost extent when he saw its
gem rolls dimensions, und every nerve in j
his body shrunk spontaneously from the j
contact.
“Gracious, Melinda, that’s a buster,” j
he faltered.
“ There ain’t any too much of it,” said
she; “ you don’t want to fool with it ; you :
want to be cured at once.”
She hovered o-er his shrinking flesh :
with the awful remedy, and was about to
come down with it, when his hand volunta- :
lily interposed.
“It wooh won’t burn much, will it?” lie
anxiously inquired*
“Whitt it does,” said she, pettishly. !
“ Do you w'ant to be around here all day a
crumpin' an a groanieg 1 ? Now take your j
hand away till 1 put this bn.”
“1 won’t bear itaulinit if it burns. J;
toll ye,” protested Mr. Grimes, drawing j
his hands slowly away;
Thu- j Ls k v touehtiFhim.
“VYouh-ooh,” lie gn.*ped.
More of it came in contact with him. I
“Oh. gosh, Melinda! I can’t stand it, I
tel! ye,” lie cried, trying to wriggle away ;
from it.
“Don’t be a foal, Joseph Grimes,” said !
she firmly. “ You’ve got to be cured, and :
you know it. Now take your hand away I
from there. 1 can’t waste any more time.” j
“ But it burns me ho, go! darn if,” he
groaned, while tho tears started afresh
down liis cheeks.
“V.Tmt if it dues? It’ll do yon good,”!
said she, beginning to grow exasperated j
“’You must- have this plaster on at once, or !
I won’t try to do another thing for you,— i
Here’s the afternoon half gone, and not a :
single dish washed. Come, now, take your
hand away.”
He took liis hand nwav, but it was evi- j
dent, in every vein and muscle of liis face,
that he protested.
“Wooh-oohi O, mercy,. Melinda !” he
gasped, us ihjs whole surface of the poul
tice touched him, and tlie sharp needles
of flame stru into a million of pores.
“Don’t hoi tlmt, Joseph Grimes,”
commanded with a flush of
anger, “or the neighbors in i
lien*. I’d of myueli,” sh( j
w.n! on ’o I" - cnnioi lin -
form with evjrßPWMJpiHt, “to carry on j
like tlmt. Why, I’d rather take care of!
ten sick babies than you.” • j
“X tell yon J can’t help it,” he sobbed,
trying to wriggle away from the flame. -*-
“0, gosh nil hemlock, how it burns mo.”
“Lay still now, can’t ye?” she. demand
ed. “A prettv town officer, you are—
afraid of a little mustard.”
“I don’t care what 1 am,” shrieked the
second supervisor, “with this infernal
stuff burning down inter inv vitals. <>,
heavens ! O, mercy 1 O, thunder ! I
can’t stand it another minit. Gosh (lain
me if I bear this any longer. It’s scorch
ing up to my bowels. ‘lt’s wlmop, mur
der !” and thus screaming, Mr. Grimes
bounded from the sofa, tore off the mad
dening poultice, threw up the window,
and hurled it passionately into the street.
Then ho put down the sash with a slam,
shot spitefully down into the first chair,
und declared, by the heavens above him,
that he’d be bent up like u hair-pin, with
every bowel in a double bow-knot, before
they could build any bonfires of mustard
I on liis stomach.
Then Mrs. Gaines returned to her din
ner dishes, leaving tho second supervisor
staring intently at the top round of an op
posite chair.
The Happy Medium.—There are society
gills and home girls. One is tho kind j
that appears best abroad—-the girls that j
are good for parties, visits, balls, &e., j
whoso chief delight is in all such things. I
The other is the kind that appear best at.
home, —the girls that are useful anil cheer- 1
ful in the dining room, the sick room, and
the precincts of home. They differ widely
in character. Olio is frequently a torment j
at home, the other is a blessing. Oue is a j
moth, consuming everything about her;
the other is a sunbeam, inspiring life and '
gladness all along the pathway. Now it
does not necessarily follow that there
; should be two classes of girls. The right
j modification would modify them both a
| little,,and unite both characters in one.
“How is your Church getting on ?” asked
! a friend ofa rigorous Scotchman, who hud
separated in turn Iroiu the Kirk, th'e'JlreO
. Church, to United Presbyterian, and sev
; villi lesser bodies. “Pretty wocl, pretty
, weel. There's nobody belongs to it now
! but my brother and myself, and. I!m nae
t sure of Sandy's cuunduoss."
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Don’t flirt with afuoL ItVbivl enough
| to fool with ii flirt.
I Ulciiso don't,” siiid Aiiffntitluo Broli *v, *
I fiunouH J-’ivneh netrras, to a ponton w'lfii
touched her foot under tlie table, "my
l heart is old, und my hoots nre new.” .
An elephant is 1,220,88(5 times largo?
j than a (lea, but the Hen has canned 1,212<V
j 880 times more profanity iu the world
j tlmu the elephant.— Norristown Herald*
If you intend to bug me. said a young
1 Indy to her sweetheart, dout do it suddenly,-
because the chair you are sitting on has a
; broken leg, and you might get a tumble.
A feunilo lawyer in Wyoming was re
cently obliged- to suspend ber argument
before a justice iii order to administer to
Ihe wants of her baby, who Was arguing
for its dinner in another room.
U.ilgni- Poe said : “To villiCy a great
man is the readiest way in w hich a little
man can himself attain greatness. The
eruh might never have become a constella
tion but for ti e courage it evinced iu nib
bling Hercules ou the heel.
‘ Mamma, where do the cows get tho
milk?" asked Willie, looking up from a
foaming pan of milk, which lie had been
intently regarding. “Where do you get
your tears ?” was tho answer. After a
thoughtful silence, lie again broke out:
“Mamma, do tho cotvs have to lie spank
ed?"
NO. 48.
Girls should be warned of tlie danger
they run in marrying railroad brnkemen.—
An enthusiastic member of that fri toruity,
I on being awakened tlfo other night from a
dream of an impending crash by a train,-
found himself up iu bed, holding liis site
by tlie ears, having nearly twisted herb- ml
off in his frantic efforts to “down brakes.
Fix up my Li vf.k, —An English physici;-ti
recently removed a section of a patient t
liver, placed it ou a plate, scraped it caro
fnlly, and returned it to its place, fully re
turned to its normal action. This prom
ises to work a revolution in tlie treatment
of the disease, and ill a few years we will
have an addition to domestic Uteratiiro
sometlqng like this : “Husband, I wish
i you would take John’s right lung down to
tlie doctor this morning and have the mid
dle valve fixed,” or "Will you step into
(ho doctor’s when you come home this
noon and see if he has Mary’s liver mend
ed, ns she wants to go out to tea this eve
ning ?” The practice wifi become so com
mon in time, we nre sure, that noise oSttin
neighbors will he in any way startled to sea
a wife with a veil tied around her head
leaning out of a bed-room window ni’itl
shouting to a receding husband : “Jler e*
mini) ! tell Dr. Scrnpen to Beud npAVillie’s
right kidney at once, whether it is done or
not, lie’s had it more’ll n week, nod-tile'
child might us well be without any kiduev,
and he do 10 with it.”
A Dose.—A lunti living far from n-'V
physician was fallen- suddenly ill. His
family, in gvmt alarm, noB kuowiug w t,
else to do, sent for a neighbor'who- hud'
reputation for doctoring cows,
“Can’t you give father somctJhing to
help him?” asked one of his sons..
1 Wa’al, 1 don’t know nothin' übout doc
torin’ people.”
“ Yon l now morn than we do, for you
can doctor cows. Now what! do you glvo
them when they're sick ?"
“Wu’nl, I allers give cows saUselEpnoni
salts. You might try that on him.”
"How much shall wo gife him?" inquir
ed the son.
“Wa’al, I give cows jest a pound. I
■ oppose a mini is u (ipiirteciis big as a cow
—give him a quarter of a pound 5 i”.’
There is a vast amount of truth in this
pith summary v. liic-li the St. Louis Repub
lican makes of Grant’s six yenroof l’resi
denliul service "3k lias* established
precedents whir h will vex us ns- (ing-'utrflie
nation lives, atwl lie lias set r.-tt 1 exampln
which embraces all those blunders-nml
climes which the rulers of a- Cos conic
should avoid: He-ilni,-wroitgilt .nore-dAiio
age to the Republican system in these ms
years than liis successors can repair in tllu
next fifty, and by his principles aml'ac
tioiiß, bus done moi’C t'o-dcmiowb wry public
sentiment and weaken public confidences
the stability of free institutions than all tho
trials and tyrannies of civil war. And win
these credentials, lie has tile magnifier t
impudence to aspire to a tlliid'terin. ao-i
there ure fools and knaves who'are willing,
to encourage and assist him..’’’
Advice to a Girl who is-“Finished.’’
Josh Hilling gives the following :
Get truth- Yu tell me yu have heel 2
years at a boarding school; and have just
finished your eiiiikiishun, uud want to kli i
what yu idiull do next.
Listen, my gushing Gertrude, and I w i.l
toll yu.
Git up iu Ihe morning it) gotuV scirsom.
go down- into the iKtobin, seize a peiht .>
by the throat with one .thud and a knit.!
with the other, skin the potato, an
dozen more like it, stir up the bUckwb t
! batter, look iu the oven and see how t •
biskitt are doing, bustle mound generally,
stop on the cat’s tail, m:d l 'help yure p'”G,
old mother git breakfast..
After breakfast put np the ynnpfaliii-.-
ren’s luncheon for school, help-wash n
the dishes, sweep sum, put things in ore’e-,
; and sumtime during.- tue day nit of li-.>t
two inches and a half on sum one ov yiu ■
j brother's little blue woolen stockings h r
j next winter.
In other words, go to work ami nciko
t yourself useful, now that yn have- bek'itm
ornamental, and if yu Imv eny time, anil
the duks have beet) fed, pitch into the
pianlia, and make tho old rattle boxsk'reiim
witli music!:.
Do this for one year, and some likely
■ yung feller in the neighborhood will hang
around yu, and say sweeter things than yu
j ever heard before, and finally will give yu
j a chance to keep house oil your own hook.
You fuller mi udvice. Dirty, and see if.
he does nut.
What He Will See.
Vice-President Wilson will soon com
mence an extended tour throughout the
South, for the purpose ot personally in
specting its condition.— Ex.
He will sec a church free from all the
Urns promulgated from so many Northern
pulpits, and oougregatious who worship,
in humility, the trufrsnd living God.
tie will see a people whose hospitality
has and will continue to he shared by all
who come in their midst, free from asu
pieiot und clothed iu the garb -of fnvnd
ship.
He will look upon the faces- of those
whose ancestors gavo freedom to the no
tion, and in whose veins flow tire blood
of ancestral pride with unceasing regu
larity.
He will sco t'.e representative men aud 1
women of what would be a great country,
wore it not for the influx of the refuse of
i Northern society.
He will see a people proud and intelli
gent, and willing subjects of j#st and>eoo
u'oniical laws.
| He will see, if be will look, the contrast'
between the races, and go home fully con*
viuced that all the legislation of a uatiou
of legislators could not force universal
| social equality upon the Southern , eoplev.
j - Me Dcjfle Journal.