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THE ATLANTA GEORGIAN
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Advice to Married Women
and Some Answers the
Women Might Give
» W> •>
It Is Easy to Advise and Criticise. But There Are Usually Two
Sides to Criticism. And Many Sides to the Difficult Life of
the Average Wife.
The Rev. Mr. Bustard, who looks after Mr. John D. Rockefel
ler’s spiritual welfare when he happens to he in Cleveland, has given
advice to wives.
He told his congregation to take his “ten don’ts for wives’’
and put them up on the mirror frame where the wife would always
see them.
On behalf of the wives we beg to say, first, that if the ten don’ts
were put in the mirror, the husband would he apt to .see them at
least as often as the wife It is an old theory and foolish that the
mirror reflects a woman more often than a man. The opposite is
probably true.
In many homes, if yon put the ten don’ts for wives in thf mir
ror, the wife would have very little opportunity of seeing these
don’ts. She would he more apt to see them if you pasted them up
above the cook stove, or over the wash tub, or above the baby's crib,
or over the coal bin.
Here are some of the reverend gentleman's don’ts:
Don't marry a man for a living, | money is better than money with
but for love Manhood without out manhood.
ANSWER—The average woman is only too eager NOT TO
MARRY FOR A LIVING. Every woman on earth wants to marry
for love. No woman would marry for money and turn aside from
real affection if she had her choice. The trouble is that we have
developed a civilization which teaches little girls from their baby
hood that they MI ST MARRY FOR A LIVING, that marrying is
the only career, the only BUSINESS opportunity open to them.
Civilization has taught its daughters that they can only make a
living by marrying. And civilization promptly puts at work at
typewriters and in factories and elsewhere ninety-nine one-hun
dredths of the girls that don't get married. Even a reverend cler
gyman might find himself marrying for a living if the alternative
compelled him to work at starvation wages, paid on account of his
sex less than his services were worth. \There will be no trouble
about women “marrying for a living’ - if reverend gentlemen and
others will reorganize society so that women may have some better
career.
A wife in a hobble skirt and a I throw more out of a kitchen win
husband with patched trousers dow with a spoon than a man can
make » poor pair. A woman can put into the cellar with a shovel.
This sounds well enough and familiar enough. But it really is
not convincing. If one must wear the patched trousers and the
other a well-made costume—certainly it is better for the man to
wear the patches. Mau has been bragging for generations about his
generosity, and all that he does for women. A good deal of the time
he has been like the rooster that cackles, scratches and looks very
unselfish when he finds a worm, and then, just as the hens rush up
to him, SWALLOWS THE WORM WITH A VIRTUOUS AIR. The
trouble in this world is not that woman wears the fancy hobble
skirt and man the patched trousers. And the trouble is not that
women throw more out of the kitchen window with a spoon than a
man can put into the cellar with a shovel.
The trouble is that the average man working for a living spends
on his own selfish luxuries too much of the money that his wife
amd children need. The trouble is that among the families that earn
small or moderate incomes the husband spends more for cigars and
luncheons downtown, and visits at drinking resorts on the way up
town and downtown, than the mother can spend for her children.
If the men who tell lies about the necessity of spending their
income on business acquaintances, etcetera, could he persuaded to
spend that money on their wives and on their children, the world
would be better off. We assure the Rev. Mr. Bustard that his state
ment about the spoon and the shovel is a mistake. The ordinary
man can throw into a whisky glass, out of a small hottie, more real
money than the average woman can find to clothe herself and her
children—and that is not imagination.
Don't think that the way to run I other nomen on how to bring up
a house is to run away from It. It children while you are neglecting
is wrong to go around lecturing your own.
Very good, sound advice for everybody—from wives to clergy
men
The wife might turn and say to the clergyman, “ Very good,
indeed; try it yourself For wives are no worse than clergymen or
Tankers or peddlers when it comes to neglecting their own business
and attending to other people's business We are all much alike
except that wives leading very dull lives, having to endure a great
deal more of the house than anybody could reasonably be expected
to stand, are less blamable than others if they try to get away for
a change.
Don't nag The saloon keeper la I band with a smile,
always glad to welcome your hus-
This also sounds well. Bui we can assure the reverend gentle
man—-sad as it may seem—-that the wife who nags, that is to say,
the wife who has the courage to assort her rights and the rights of
her children, is more apt to keep her husband awav from the saloon
than the other kind of wife.
The wife who never complains, who submits gently, and takes
what she gets, whether it be kindness or coldness, neglect or atteu
lion, is usually the wife whose husband gets the most frequent and
the warmest welcome from the saloonkeeper.
If wives nag. it is BECAUSE 11 USB A NDS H \V E COM CELLED
THEM TO DO IT. Nagging on the part of a wife is no more than
urging generosity when the moment comes "to let your light shine"
and the collection box goes around The clergyman who doesn't nag
a certain kind of congregation when collection time comes hasn't a
prosperous church. And the wife who doesn't nag a certain kind of
busband is apt not to have prosperous children.
Don’t try to get more out of a wom.o.'s beauty than man's pon-
looking glass than you put into it. d<r and paints.
Nature’? sunshine is better for
Very good and true What is needed, however, is a system of
society that will enable women to get “nature s sunshine" and hap
Continued in Lest Column
I \ ♦
The Atlanta Georgian
HE NEVER HAD A CHANCE
That Is What Nine Men Out of Ten Who Are Failures Say. Look Out That You Don’t Say It Yourself.
By TAD
k y
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/1 11 “ ■>
it AC 1 a -^ E ' ~
' // • II illi jMi I ' !| l |l]i'''!llii|lilli'i 111 VA
t
NO. 9.
Things broke bad for Yum. He voted early
and often, yet his hoSs was defeated, and the
promised job proved to be a bloomer.
Yum was disgusted. Why shouldn’t he be?
How hard be tried to get along, yet things seemed
to he against him. He pointed his nose toward
the saloon on the corner and took a drink. Whiskey
was as good as anything he could think of to drown
his troubles in. and he drank it. He drank it un
til he tumbled into a chair by a table all alone.
Yum figured the whole thing out. Some one
told him long ago that every man was the archi
tect of his own fortune. Yum thought, it over. Lots
of them have had help; he knew it. He looked hack
to the days when ho was a mere lad. He never had
a chance; that was no kid. He. tried, that is, he
They Will Say It Is Folly for a Boy to Marry on SB.OO a Week
LET those who know through
very hard experience tell "N.
U." what he should do.
"I am nineteen years of age,” he
writes, “and have kept company
for the past three years with a
girl one year my junior. 1 am earn
ing the small sum of $8 a week, and
my prospects for an increase in the
immediate future are slim indeed,
all through no other fault than a
youthful appearance.
“The parents of the young lady
have taken a liking to me. and en
courage our keeping company, con
tinually asking me if it is not time
that our engagement was an
nounced. This places me In a very
bad predicament, as they are of the
opinion that I earn a reasonable
salary with which to attempt mat
rimony. What would you advise
me to do?”
Years Ago Marriage on $8
a Week Was Possible.
There are many men who mar
ried on less than $8 a week and
saved money Rut that was sev
eral generations ago when neces
sities cost less, and no one craved
luxuries It was a time when a
bride rolled up her sleeves and
did the washing or worked with
her husband in the field. It was
a time when much that appeared
on the table was raised in the gar
den and a dross was worn at least
five years.
Eight dollars in those days, did
more than Slfi today and lift a
week will not permit every than to
marry and support his wife If it
is the intention of “N. U." to let
his wife also be a wage-earner,
their combined efforts, if Iter w ages
match his. will not more than suf
fice to keep their heads above
water.
Strange That Her Parents
Approve the Match.
If it is not intended that she
should also add to the family sup
port. then his lies’ friends should
tie him up until all thought of tnat-
Let Married Men Decide
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.
FRIDAY, JUNE 7, 1912.
rimony has departed from his heart
and head.
It Is a very strange situation
when parents of a girl urge her
marriage to an eight-dollar-a-week
man. It is not against him that he
gets no more. It is against them
that they would approve of a mar
riage so sure of suicidal results.
W ith the most rigid economy they
could batch exist on It. and if sick
ness came they' would be helpless.
The parents who urge a wealthy ■
match for their daughter are much
to be condemned. 1 contend that
the parents of this girl who urge a
marriage that means near-starva
tion are to be condemned more.
This young man doubts the wis
dom of marriage in his circum
stances I beg of him that he lay
his case before other men who
married when as poor as lie.
They will tell him tales of priva
tion. bad luck, ill health, depression,
lack of work, sickness, incessant
toil under the most discouraging
conditions: they will tell him of a
burden borne that never grew light
er. but that grew heavier with the
The Wanderlust ®>
By MINNA IRVING.
I WANT to go up to the top. tip. top
And see what is over the hill;
There is maybe a garden of roses and bees.
Or an orchard, a lake or a mill.
A wood all a-shimmer with shadow and sun
As it wanes to the blue of the sky.
Or a winding white highway where, powdered with dust,
The carts, heavy laden, roll by.
I want t<> cross over the river beyond
And follow the path that may lead
To a tower and a town, or a farm and a field
Where the red cattle lazily feed.
And bridges are spanning the silvery streams.
And pleasure boats rock in the sedge:
I want to go on to the rim of the world
And see what is'over the edge.
thought he tried.®but he failed. He thought back
to the time when he managed that fighter. The
world lay enamelled before him. He had so far to
go. yet it seemed beautiful. As he traveled along
in tears he came nearer to the real world.
Then he found cracks in the enamel, rough
places that hadn't been enameled at all. pitfalls and
crevasses. Now he was right in the midst of it all.
There was no enamel. It was an illusion. It was
rougher than he had ever dreamed of, yet he had
to go along.
He hadn’t much hope, hence the booze. There
he lay on the old table in the corner saloon moan
ing to himself. The regulars at the bar looked over
at him sadly and remarked. “It's too bad; the kid
can’t handle the stuff.”
To Be Continued.
years and the decreasing strength
to bear it.
Would love last under such cir
cumstances?, In theory, yes. In
practice—well. 1 beg of those who
love not to make a test. It may
only mean a needless and painful
sacrifice.
“N. U." is only- nineteen. He will
be young enough to think of mar
rying when lie is 25. His prospects
will be brighter; he will have at
tained • his physical growth, and
with these will come better judg
ment.
Too Young, Too Poor to
Dream of Marriage.
He is no more fit to marry today
than a boy who is snatched from
the cradle If be were mature in
mind he would know beyond a
doubt that he is too young in years
and too poor in prospects to think
of marrying.
He would, moreover, in fairness
to the girl, tell her so frankly. If
she decides against -waiting for him
he should step aside and give some
other man a chance.
This. I hope, will he do. Not more
for the sake of the g|r| than for his
own sake.
THE HOME PAPER
The Importance of Taking
One Step at a Time
To Get On in Life You Must Know How to
Keep Yourself Healthy
HEALTH results from the en
gine being in good condi
tion. Energy is a plentiful
supply of steam. Intelligence, con
sists in knowing how to keep the
engine on the rails, instead of using
the energy to dump it into a ditch.
This is a tragedy. And another
one is to have an engine AND NO
STEAM.
It is important, then, to know
how to keep the engine moving, for
that is the actual GETTING ON
(or the moving forward) in life. To
know how to keep the engine mov
ing means that we must know how
tn produce energy.
There are two ways:
1. By -following rigidly, as the
Italian. Cornaro, did, the necessary
rules in your own case in regard to
food, drink, breathing, sleep. These
are the basis. They keep the body
in tune and the mind is clear. Is
there anything else to do? There
is.
To make an engine move, water
must be heated, and turned into an
invisible force, called steam. To
heat the water that it may be
turned to steam requires fire.
Thought Is Only Motive
Power We Have.
Do the same thing with the phys
ical engine. Put the proper food
Into it to burn, which is food in the
stomach. Treat the stomach ex
actly as you would treat the kitch
en stove, using enough fuel for the
fire you want, and never filling the
grate so that the covers bulge up.
When this is done, probably the
steam will begin to come in the
form of thought, WHICH IS THE
ONLY MOTIVE POWER WE
HAVE.
A man traveling tn Switzerland,
in the easy fashion of the summer
tourist, was urged by some friends
to join them in climbing the Mat
tel-horn. He declined at first, but
finally they persuaded him to try
it. In describing his experience' up
and down that famous peak he
emphasized, first, the extreme care
of the guides. Next, the mental
bracing he felt in facing danger
hour after hour; the care that had
to be exercised IN TAKING ONE
STEP AT A TIME; the thought of
Advice to Married Women
and Some Answers the
Women Might Give
11 in ■I 11 ||■ || H !I«WJL_J«
Continued From First Column.
piness and thp beauty that comes from cheerfulness and freedom
from worry.
If women paint and powder, there are two reasons for it. First,
the stupidity of man, who admires what is artificial.
And, second, the dullness of life and the falseness of life which
make women pale, thin and old before their time. If the Rev. Mr.
Bustard will arrange to supply the wives of the country with hap
piness. cheerfulness, plenty of sunshine and the beauty that comes
from freedom from care, he will be very little bothered with powder
and paint and over attention to looking-glasses.
*
Don’t forget that home is a worn- f Lincoln, a. Garfield or a McKinley
an's kingdom, where she reigns as I is to be the mother of a prince,
a queen. To be the mother of a 1
Good advice. Home ought to be a woman's kingdom. But you
can't blame a queen for getting out of a kingdom that isn't worth
having—a kingdom desolate, dull and tiresome.
If the man would make the home his resort, his club. HIS king
dom: if he would keep the promises that he made when he married;
if he would show in the tired and often discouraged wife at home
the same interest, politeness and deference that he shows to the first
silly gadabout to whom he happens to be introduced, the home would
be a kingdom worth while for the wife—and she'd be glad to st as
in it and work in it.
It ts quite true that to be the mother of a Lincoln is to be the
mother of a prince—or rather the mother of a man worth many
dozens of princes. But while the mother probably contributes nine
tenths of the son. the husband must at least contribute ONE tenth.
And we beg to inform the Reverend Mr. Bustard and all husbands
that the one thing which makes for greatness jn a son IS THE
MOTHER'S AFFECTION, ADMIRATION AND REVERENCE FOR
THE HUSBAND. You don't find a great son, unless the husband by
kindness, gentleness and consideration has deserved the affection the
intense devotion of the wife. '
Leonardo was the greatest of artists, with one exception be
cause his mother, a poor peasant woman, adored and revered her
child's father.
William the Conqueror was one of the greatest of rulers and
statesmen because his mother, a poor girl, daughter of a tanner
revered the Duke of Normandy, who made her his wife.
And Lincoln was great in spirit, in body and in' accomplish
nient because his own mother truly loved the husband with whoa,
she shared her lot. the father of the boy born in the hut of one room
with a dirt floor. Lincoln s power was the refleetion of the mother's
love for Lincoln s father—you may he sure of that.
And Lincoln's power also was (he reflection of'another woman's
affection and devotion—the stepmother who eared for him, educated
him and gave him opportunity.
1 he wives ot the world are only too anxious to make their homes
their kingdoms, and to find their glorv in their children
But first let the husbands do THEIR part, let them really con
centrate their hours, their earnings, their money and their interest
in the home. The rest will be easy.
Remember that women are. morally ami spiritually at least O n®
thousand per cent superior to men. That is why Um human race
improves
Bv THOMAS TAPPER.
Eear that had to be banished when
he realized that one single misstep
meant a fali of thousands of feet
into an eternal refrigerator
Take One Step At a Tima
And With Care.
But he reached the top. and by
. the same mental and physical expe
rience he reached the bottom again.
Then, his vacation being over, lifi
left Switzerland and he began, so
he said, to draw dividends on that
trip up the Matterhorn. Situation*
in business that had hitherto seem
ed difficult to him now seemed
easy. He had learned, in what
seemed at that time a terrible ex
perience. TO TAKE ONE STEP
AT A TIME IN ALL HIS UN
DERTAKINGS, AND TO TAKE 17
WITH CARE.
Nor was the lesson of the guides
lost upon him. They prepared for
the worst that could happen be
fore they started up. That seemed
to him a good idea, and he begau
to apply It in all his business—
getting all things ready for a new
business venture before he started
up.
This illustrates the energetic ac
tion of the mind when the owner
has done one difficult thing, u<i
done it wen.
To the man who looks at th*
Milky Way through a telescope
there is opened up in a flash th*
Infinity of space. He no longer
walks in his little world, thinking
that the rest of the universe circles
around it and him. It pays to iff
spire the mind with the fact that,
the universe is larger than the of
fice where we work.
To Get More Energy You
Must Inspire the Mind.
To the man who cltmbed tin
Matterhorn there was opened up in
a flash the infinity of his own pos
sibilities in doing things. He no
longer thought it a marvelous thing
to go over to the bank and cash a
check for eight dollars. The care
of the guides, the climb up. the
yawning chasms of Ice and snow
thousands of feet below him, had !
suddenly lighted up his mind/ as a
lamp lights up a dark room.
To get more energy, inspire tire
mind.