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HOU MOROCCOS
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Bismallah! The Cost of Living Is High in
Christendom, and Is Not the Cost of Divorce
Higher? It Is! And so Came About the
Gorgeous Shanghaing of Mulai Hafid’s Harem
, a LMS, for the love of Allah!"
’* Zk It was a street beggar in Tan
** gier, and as he spoke Mulai Abdel
Hafid, ex-Sultan of Morocco, passed. In
the olden days Mulai Hafid would have
tossed the beggar a handful of piasters
before he passed on, amid the manifold
blessings of the beggar. But now things
were different.
"Alms for the love of alimony’.’ mu sj
tered .Mulai Halid, punning bitterly, " would
the beggar had the 774 arms belonging *°
niy 387 wives, along with the l ' ebl 0
them!”
Mulai was in dire distress. Not
long ago he abdicated in favor of
his younger brother, Mulai Youssef,
and he was glad. He had travelled
hi that gay lad, France, he knew
the ways of the world, and he long
ed for the flesh-pots of Paris, for
the company of those dainty Paris
iennes. Only that morning, by spe
cial post, he had receiced a dainty
little note, pink-tinted as the lotus
bads in the Garden of Naritti,
sweet-scented as the lillies on the
hanks of the Moluccas pool. In it
"as an invitation —in it, in words
of iurlng French, was he bidden to
visit certain fair friends at Vichy.
He would leave Morocco forever.
He had no choice about that—he
had to.
He was lured. He would go. He
—then came the chilling thought—
the family!
For. be it known, Mulai Hafid
possessed, in the vernacular of
tile new world, "some family."
His harem, once his pride and
f! IO . A
Z e . envy of lesser potentates, contained
1 ‘ an 387 Wives ‘ When Mulai Hafid
t' et . lavor of his younger brother
ought surely Brother Youssef would
Yn >.°y er his wives ’ but not so. Mulat
“•issei, tne new Sultan, approved of the
Z em ’ I)ut not the contents. 'He had his
wives, with whom he was well
■' ised, nor did he intend to take to him
bt',l the wives of his brother.
Oh, respected brother," said Mulal
’oussef, "I cannot take your wives. A
ond handed throne is one thing, but,
no, it cannot be! Take along your
A’es to cheer your days of freedom from
affairs of state.”
Pismallah! Woe is me!” groaned
Mulai Hafid.
' hat troublest thine wondrous mind,
- 1 , on of ,th e planets and constellations?”
'luirt'd Sheik Mousses, private secretary
ana adviser to the ex-Sultan, and Mulal
_tafid unburdened himself to his close
" and confidential secretary.
1 hou knowest my 387 wives, oh,
'k?' began Mulai Hafid. and Muessef
interrupted.
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And so the ex-Sultan’s Wives Were Shipped Down the West Coast of Africa, while he Sneaked away to France.
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Once, at Vichy, the Nervous ex-Sultan Saw a Turbaned Head, and Bowled People over Right and Left in Mad Haste to Escape, Thinking His Wives Had Found Him.
"Flowers of the fields, gems of the
mines, stars of the night sky, nymphs of
the”
“Chuleffskal!” roared the ex-Sultan. In
his own tongue it means, "Cut it out!"
"Listen, oh, Sheik, my woes are many. 1
am invited to France by the French Gov
ernment; further, I am, invited to Vichy
by”—here Mulai Hafid whispered io
Muessef, whereupon Mousses grinned with
appreciation. "But my wives! Alas, my
brother will not have them and France
will not have them, nor would 1 have
them, with this terrible high cost of liv
' ing, and—and —some other reasons, over
c .. in Vichy. Yet, how can I rid myself of
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Mulai Hafid, ex-Sultan of Morocco, now at Vichy
Hiding from His 387 Wives.
them? Keniemberest thou mine friend,
oh, Sheik, one Gould, like unto a caliph
in his country? Alas, he nad but one wife
and it cost him 30,000 pieces of gold just
to get rid of her. Reckon a moment, what
would it cost me to do likewise with 387
wives?”
“Nearly 12,000,000 of American dollars,
oh, your majesty," replied Mousses, where
upon both men shuddered.
“Woe is ml” began the ex-Sultan
again when once more Mousses interrupt
ed him.
••Allah be praised,” piously exclaimed
0
UI ■ZI
Mousses, “I have an
idea!”
"Surely 1t is Al
lah’s work.” devout
ly cried Mulal Hafld.
"Listen.” Mousses
said, and he whisper
ed to Mulal, and
the ex-Sultan smiled
for the first time in
many days, and, turn
ing to the East, inclined his black-bearded,
white-turbaned head in recognition to Allah
for the great, plan.
Then said the Sheik Mousses aloud:
"Saith All (whose face Allah guard), be
ware of the subtlety of women, and be on
thy guard against them; consult them
not in aught but grudge not complaisance
to. them lest they wax suspicious.
"Thy words are like drops of camel’s
milk, and like pearls of price, oh, Sheik,”
answered the Sultan. "Verily though they
are not as plain as an elephant's trunk."
Said the Shiek: "Entreat them kindly,
, show them familiarity and be large in ex
penditure, for woman was created of a
crooked rib. Tell them not what is
in thy heart but what will please
’em.”
"And yet they are as houris.”
sighed the Sultan.
Said the Sheik: “Yet one tells
us, I stood at the gate of Heaven,
and. 10, most of its inmates were
poor; and I stood at the gates of
Hell, and, 10. most of its inmates
were women!’ Who can stem a fu
rious stream and a frantic woman,
oh, Sultan? Therefore, be disc
reet!”
Then there was much hustling on
the part of Mulai Hafid and his
confidante.
Mousses went unto Sheik Ali Ha
ran, a captain of the seas, and char
tered a sailing vessel. Mulai Hafid
went to his little treasury and took
therefrom 2,322 coins. They were
for his wives. Indeed, this sounds
generous, but hearken—these 2,322
coins were piastres; they were to
be divided among his wives, six for
each wife. A piastre amounts to
exactly 4’4 cents in American mon
ey. Therefore. Mulai Hafid was lo
give each of his wives 2514 cents,
or a totalexpenditure of $97.71V
Yet even then Mulai Hafid
shuddered and groaned, for would
not $97 buy quantities of the
wine that bubbles, whereof he
and the shes of pink-tinted, sweet-scented
notes might quaff—but then —it must be
done, his wives must go away happy!
Next the ex-Sultan secured 387 little
purses, and into each thrust the six shin
ing piasters, which Jingled right merrily.
Then, with his sweetest smile Mulai Hafid
entered the great assembly room in his
harem and honored al! his 387 wives by
calling them forth. Dutifully they first
touched the priceless rugs with their
sitangled foreheads in obiesance to their
lord and master, happily they sat croa»-
legged and smiled at him.
"Jewels of my illustrious harem," be
gan Mulai Hafid. "long have you made me
happy, uncomplaining wert thou when 1
abdicated, and now 1 am going to repay
you with kindness, for ali together, a
happy little /amily. will we Journey over
smiling seas and dancing waves to distant
Agadir! ”
Verily Mulai Hafid said it as though he
were about to lead tlmm to Paradise,
where, as every good Moslem knows, no
wife can ever enter. Dutifully was he
greeted with 357 smiles
“Oh. most noble and wonderful master,
said Zuelekah, w r ho, being his favorite
wife, had the right to first address him.
"thou knowest all things, pray tell us
more of Agadir.”
“There in Agadir are bazars such as
no other cities know —there lie silks from
China, gems from Paris, garments from
America, pictures from Germany, spangles
and beads, anklets and bracelets, and all
things such as fair women desire. See”—
Mulai Hafid clapped his hands and
eunuchs came in, bearing upon salvers
the new purses. To each wife was one
handed Each wife looked within and saw
the shining, jingling, newly minted pias
ters and then there was joy.
“Money!” they exclaimed.
Great is the wisdom of Mulai Hafid. for
never do wives in a harem see money,
never do they have money.they know noth-
ing of its pur
chasing value
C o n s e quently
six shining pias
ters hight have
meant nothing
or everything
to them.
“Women are
seldom if ever
given money,”
said Mulai
Hafid impress
ively, “but lam
honoring you,
stars of the fir
mament! We
will go to the
great bazaars
of Agadir and
there you sliall
each buy for
yourself what
ever you may
desire, jewels
and silks and
everything. it
will be a happy
outing. Get you
ready for many
weeks' outing,
for the good
ship that takes
us is soon to
set sail!”
Great was the
joy of Mulai
Hafid’s 357
wives upon
hearing this
No gr e a.t e r
honor could
have been be
stowed upon
them— the de
lights of shop
ping—the de
lights of hav-
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Mulai Hafid’s Simple-Minded Wives Were Overjoyed with 25-Cents’ Worth of Piasters, as They Hat
No Knowledge of the Value of Money.
o'fZhanks um-oJ 110ney: A * reat chorus
as Mulai H-/h? frOm tl,eir dain, y throats
their presence’ bowiugl de I )arted "'em
FllniZ ’ irir ’ l,,J al. lam suslcfous. growled
t"rZ lonZh 0 ' a 8 mot her, "he means trick
know him-h? ’• liVed WlU| man alld 1
no need’" r G . f. IVeth not when there is
to her ; ? ut 3J le wives would not listen
. h , rinw"' hastily maoe preparations tor
the glorious trip to distant Agadir and the
wondrous bazars there.
One'” 1 ™J, n » r s a ou nofeS - ° hl m ° flt HIUKtroUB
ex SultaT u? eik , Mousses, and so the
forth in « Inn 1 1 - 8 387 wiv ° 8 marshaled
bm stnnn U ? g 'Z adown the blistering
hot stone dock at Tangier, each wife iravlv
wifeh l 'eav b nv ne v a ei l | lonß wra »’- ''nd each
elrrtert a U nn 8 ur thermore each wife
carried a new purse in her band wherein
jingled six shining
coins (total value 25*
cents, with which
she expected to pur
chase In distant Aga
dir all the jewels and
silks and other things
she could stagger under
or desire.
Boat load after boat
load put out from the
dock to the good ship
"Star of the East,”
which was anchored,
gay with flags and bunt
ing, in the channel.
And ex-Sultan Mulal
Hand stood upon the
deck to greet the com
ing of each. Gaily
dressed was he, and
brightly decorated.
His jeweled scimeter flashed In the
sun. He reached out his hand and helped
each wife to step over the short gunwale
from the boarding ladder.
"Surely,” thought these simple wives,
“no greater man has lived, he is all gen
erous and all powerful.”
"Ah, Allah be praised!" exclaimed Mulai
Hafid, as the first boatload arrived, “here
is my best-beloved Zueleka. Have a care
there, Sheik Mqussef, see that her fair
feet are not injured upon this rough deck
—and here is Zillah, she of the hair like
dawn, and Maruza, whose eyes are pools
i of night, and Mulim, with teeth like sheep
> upon the green clad hills —have a care
’ there, dogs of sailors, that these jewels of
mine are not so much as scratched."
And so It went, boat load after boat
load.
• “Allah il Allah! Here is Nortl, whose
, eyes are living Hames, and Velvetta, of the
alabaster brow, and Luelekka and Mush-
emir and Zelemlnna, of the ruby lips, and
Alita, queen of Albinos, and Narcuzzannf,
she of the long name and short feet, and
Nalli, my first love, and Hanura and
Melleh and Sittoukna and Carl! from His
pania, and Rozetti from the Nigris—have
a care there, scoundrels of the forecastle,
that rope grazed fair Rozettl's arm—ha,
welcome Durrat and Mazurki and Susef
findi!”
And so it went until every one of Mulal
llafid's 387 wives were aboard the old
sailing vessel. "Star of the East.”
"Bismallah! ” then exclaimed the ex-
Sultan, “1 have forgotten the jewels 1 was
to exchange at Agadir. Captain Sheik Ali
Haran, 1 must go ashore, it will take me
twenty minutes, then I return. Dare not
to move this ship, lest 1 overtake thee and
set thine head at the mainmast top!"
Sheik Ali Haran bowed low.
"Go not, 1 fear we lose thee!” wailed
Zueleka.
"I return,” wept, the Sultan.
"Allah never desolate me by loss of
thee nor time sunder us twain! Yet of a
truth 1 believe you a liar!” wailed Zue
leka.
"Alkamdollillah! Allah is mighty. None
other can go, Hower of the Orient, for
none know where I have hidden the
jewels,' replied Mulai llafid as he ran
down the ladder and Into his powerful
naptha launch. Away he started for the
dock until hidden behind a great scow.
Meanwhile up went the anchor of the Star
of the East, the sails bellied in the breeze
and off adown the western coast of Africa
headed the ship.
"What did 1 tell you?” snarled Elluka.
"Thine bead shall be the forfeit!”
shrieked Zueleka, while the other wives
walled and wept and sought to ffverpoww
Haran until driven to their quarters aft.
Then Mulai Hatld’s launch shot onts
from behind the scow and across the nar
row waters until he landed at Gibraltar,
thence by train across Spain and into
France until he reached Vichy and she of
the pink-tinted, tweet-scented note.
His funds were already there. His in
come is 50,000 pieces of gold annually,
his wives
Agadir is far down the western coast
of Africa on the muddy river Sus. Bazars.
The worst in all the world. Indeed Mulai
Hafid told the truth when he said there
were none other like those at Agadir.
And what of the wives, of their journey?
Allah is all knowing, but man knoweth it
not yet. They were left at Agadir. As
soon as they landed, with assurances from
i Sheik Ail Haran that the ex-Sultan would
i arrive on the next boat, Haran up and
sailed away!
Ask Sheik All Haran who la caring to»
these :?87 wives of Mulai Hafid and h*
will roll bib eyes aloft and piously exclaim
"Alah!" Then he turns away his face t<
hide his features. It is possible he smile*
But what of Mulai Abd-el Hafld, e»
Sultan of Morocco?
It is true, he is in Vichy, where the non
intoxicating part of the highball cornea
from, and It is true he has is pleasures
but also he has his terrors. Dreaming and
awake he has his troubles. In his dreams
387 wives rush upon him, shaking purses
in which jingle 25H cents worth of piaa
ties, while tney prepare to claw out his
eyes and his bair. He awakens with v
yell of fright, sits up in his bed and mutz
tors: "Some day—Allah—oh, Allah—the,
will get me just like this!”
And on the street. It is the same.
Some gay young Frenchman, will shout
to his patient horse, or his chauffeur, or
bis dog, "Allons!”
Instantly Mulai Hafld pales. He thinks
they cry "Allah!” Once he saw a tur
baned bead and a veiled woman. It is
(rue they were bit traveling performers,
but Mulai Halid did not pause. Right and
left he bowled over men, women and chil
dren in a mad dash to escape, for he was
sure these were but envoys from his de
serted wives, sent to find him.
"Nothing is so cunning as a woman ”
declared the great prophet Hassam Ka’f
erash centuries ago. Mulai Hafid learned
this among other great sayings when a
boy Some day, he is sure, and fate of
fates, perhaps when he is with she of the
pink-tinted, sweet-scented note, his three
hundred and eighty-seven wives will rush
in upon him and strangle him with their
seven hundred and seventy-four arm»l