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4 CL
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Made in a Gigantic Plant
The plant is a model of order, efficiency,
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To go through Budweiser’s home, as
hundreds do daily, is the best way to realize
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6,000 people are employed in the main
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There are 110 separate buildings, cover
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Some of the Principal
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JAS. F. LYNCH
ATLANTA, GA
Distributor
HEARST’S SUNDAY AMERICAN, ATLANTA, GA., SUNDAY, APRIL 27, 1913.
Lauffhs—
‘Lady in Blue’ Cubist’s Mother
Allen Robinson,
Who Started on
a Naval Career,
via Annapolis,
but Finally
Landed as the
Comedian of the
Billy Long Com
pany, Tells
Some Funny
Experiences.
HE tricks college boy# will re-
I sort to for » bit of fun have cut
quite a figure in theatrical*—es
pecially In the larger colleges of the
East. Take my case, for instance. An
altogether laughable and at the same
time trying happening almost put me
out of business as an actor my tlrst
year on the stage. And all because
some college boy friends endeavored
to have some fun.
For four year# 1 attended Cornell
University, tailing a degree there, I
gained a certain amount of popular
ity through my playing baseball and
through acting in college dramatics.
As a result when I became a profes
sional and made my flrat trip to
Ithaca, the home of the university,
the boys decided to have fun with
me. They managed to get a really
trained goat and every time I made
my appearance this goat waddled up
and down the aisles bearing a huge
sign:
"Robby’s Goat.”
And believe me or not. every time
T opened my mouth to say a line that
goat would bleat:
"Ba-aa-a -a-Baa.”
bet me add that it "got my goat”
and I was one bad actor that night, i
• • •
TOURING my college experience in
dramatics we put on a play in
which I was cast for a female
role. In order to play this role 1 had !
myself made up into as nearly a pretty I
woman as was possible—rny face con- I
sldered. Wr used every form of j
‘'cheaters” known with the result J
was declared stunning, to say the
least.
, But with all my looks. T came near
breaking up the show by walking on
the stage in all my beauteous
woman’s attire with a pipe In my
mouth, puffing away as though in my
boarding house. Oh, but T was all
but mobbed.
• • *
t HAD a rather disagreeable exper-
* ience my first year on the road
with “The Sou! Kiss” T had a
small part that season and also was
general understudy. Barney Bernard,
well known as a Yiddish character
actor, was playing a fine Yiddish
part. He bore the name of T^evlnsky.
As luck would have it Barney had to
leave the company for two days in
New York state. 1 was called upon
to play the part. I did so success
fully the first right. But the second!
Oy, Oy!
In the midst of an important scene
1 was jerked off stage and given a
swat in the jaw. The stage manager
found me deserting my Yiddish dia
lect and playing Levin sky with what
I termed a German dialect. And all
unconsciously, too
• • •
T SAW Kitty Gordon in “The En-
1 chantress” recently. Like almost
•veryone else I marveled at her
beauty. In front of me I saw two
women discusing the lovely one and
made a revelation o2 Miss Gordon’s
beauty secrets in tones that carried
some distance. She said:
“Huh! who couldn't have a beau
tiful shape who wanted to go to the
trouble she does? Why she actually
wears a steel frame under her gowns
to give her thoso curves.
• • •
\ FTER leaving Cornell 1 spent
** two years at Annapolis and a
lot of funny things happened to
me there. I remember at chapel ser
vice one morning a visiting min
ister made an address to the boys.
He was endeavoring to have them
«lean up their hearts and regulate
them so that their chances in the
hereafter would be improved. Taking
out his watch and holding it up he
said:
“Now. hero is my watch: suppose it
doesn’t keep good time—now nine too
last ard now too slow. What shall
I do with it?”
“Hock itl” shouted a plebe from the
rear. The sky-pilot quit right there
• • •
1C ST before I left New' York l
.1 went in to see Robert Hilliard
w-lio Is playing ‘The Argvle ’Case.”
which William J. Burris helped w rite
While standing at the box office chat
ting with the treasurer, after the
first act an excited gentleman ap
pealed to the box office man, Mr.
FYank Loomis.
“For goodness sake change my
seat.” he said, “even if you have to
put me in the top gallery.”
• What's the matter?” asked Mr
Loomis, soothingly. “Has something
annoyed you?’
“Well I should say so. I’m right
next to a couple of gabby women who
are arguing about who really killed
•John Argyle.”
“Whom do they suspect ?”
“Everybody in the cast, including
Mr. Hilliard. Why. one of ’em is even
trying to fasten the crime on the
leader of the pret^pstrau"
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'MIS plcturo is of a “Lady.in Blue." \\ < know it
because theartist told us so. Otherwise we
would have, said the lady was “in Dutch,” or was
trying to make a noise like a scrambled egg. This
picture said to he the first effort of the futurists to
launch on an unsuspecting world a picture-peep in
to tiie Visions of a hop fiend or the vagaries of a
brainstorm. The “Lady in Blue” can therefore he
callpd the mother of the cubists. She can also he
• ailed other things, and probably will. Tad has en
deavored to put an appropriate frame around the
“lady,” in which Bunk appears to excellent advan
tage as a “curvist.” Tho “Lady in Blue” first
adorned tho walls at the Salon de Artonnie, In
Baris. If you want to oe up-to-date you arc sup-
lK>eed to gaze at it w ith an enraptured expression on
your face and ejaculate, “Ah, how wonderful, how
exquisite!” If you are not inclined to be that way,
you look at It and say well, never mind.
Lines That Stirred England
In a Bernard Shaw Play
B ernard shaws superman
hero, John Tanner, iti his com
edy, “Man and Superman,”
makes Home remarkable revelations
of his point of view Here are some
of the lines that startled English
society and at the same time set
them thinking:
"We are ashamed of everything
that is real about us; ashamed ot
ourselves, of our relations, of our in
come, of our accents, of our opinion,
of our experience, just as we are
ashamed of our naked skins. Good
Ivord, my dear Rumsden, we are
ashamed to walk, ashamed to ride in
ryh omnibus, ashamed to hire a han
som instead of keeping a carriage,
ashamed of keeping one horse in
stead of two, and a groom-gardener
instead of a coachman and a foot
man. The more tilings a man is
ashamed of, the more respectable he
is.”
* * *
“That’s the devilish side of a wom
an's fascination: she makes you will
your own destruction.”
* * •
“It is the self-sacritlcing woman
that sacrifices others most reckless
ly."
• * *
“You think that you are Ann's sui
tor; that you are the pursuer and
she the pursued: and that It. is your
part to woo, to x*crsuade, to prevail,
to overcome, fool, it is you who are
the pursued, the marked down quar
ry. the destined prey. You need not
sit looking longingly at the bait
through the wires of the trap. The
door is open and will remain so and
will shut behind you forever."
* • *
“In short, tho way to avoid misun
derstanding is for everybody to lie
and slander and insinuate and pre
tend as hard is they can, that is
what obeying your mother comes to.
Is that rny reason why you are not
to » all your sou! your own? Oh, F
protest egainst thin vile adjection of
youth to age! Look at fashionable
socletx ns you know it. What does
it pretend to h> ? An exquisite dam e
of nymphs. What is it? A horrible
procession of wretched girls, each in
the claw of a cunning, avaricious, dis
illusioned. ignorantly experienced,
foul-minded old woman whom she
calls mother, and whose duty it is
to corrupt her mind and sell her to
the highest bidder; why do these un
happy slaves marry anybody, how
ever old or \ile. sooner than not mar
ry at all? Because marriage is their
only means of 63cape from these dc-
< tepid thieves who hide their selfish
ambitions, their jealous hatred of the
young ovals who have supplanted
them under th“ mask of maternal
duty ami family affection. Such
things an abominable. The voice of
nature proclaims for the daughter a
father’s care and for the son a moth
er's. The law of father and son and
mother and daughter is not the law
of love. It is the law of revolution
and emancipation, of final auperces-
sion of the old and worn out by the
young ar.d capable. I tell you. the
first, duty of manhood and woman
hood is the declaration of Indepen
dence: Hit' man who pleads ids fath
er’s authority is no man; the woman
who pleads her mother’s authority is
unfit to hear children to a free peo
ple."
* • *
“Marriage should ennoble a man?
Well, get married and try. You may
find it delightful for a while; you
certainly won't find it ennobling. The
greatest common measure of a man
end a woman is not necessarily
greater than the man’s single meas
ure."
* * *
“Oh, the tiger will love you; there
is no love ainceivt than the love of
food. 1 think Ann loves you that
way; she patted your cheek as if it
were a nicely under-done chop."
Popular Science
By MIKE CHESTERFIELD.
Copyright. 191 a. by ih« Star Company. Great
Britain Rights Reserved
A
QUART of gasoline tossed upon
the coals of the kitchen range
will clean out the ashes in a
Jiffy.
THE RURAL EDITOR’S
SCRAP BOOK
Take a dry sponge and weigh it.
Now soak 1t in water and weigh it
again, you will find it has nearly
trebled its weight.
To increase the speed of a waiter,
press a small object like a silver half
dollar in his palm. A gold coin will
double his speed.
To find your train on a time table,
open it carefully, hold It upside down
and ask the man at the information
window.
A sure test for eggs—place the egg
on a car track. If the car is derailed
but tho egg uninjured, the egg is prob
ably indigestible.
Three tablespoonsful of salt added
to a glass of water will make it quite
unfit for drinking purposes.
If a pin refuses to enter the cloth,
although you push it firmly, but it
penetrates your thumb, examine it
closely. The chances are you were
trying to push it head first.
Umost any smoker may discern the
difference between the lighted end and
cork tip end of a cigarette by placing
the former in the mouth. There will
be a noticeable change in tempera
ture.
Flies can not stand extreme cold.
B| gathering them up each night and
wrapping them in cracked ice, you
will soon get them so rheumatic they
can not fly about and bother you.
An extremely simple device for re
moving ordinary stains from the hands
is a sink, cake of soap, hot water and
towel.
Few' people know' this, but It is true,
that you may always secure a seat in
a street car by going early to the
car barn and starting out with the car
Ten pounds of lead molded to fit
inside your hat will prevent it from
blowing off at windy street corners.
Even the most skilled musicians
have been unable to play “Annie
Laurie” on a shoe horn.
One teaspoonful of blasting pow'd
smoked in a pipe will almost instant
remove the offensive strong odor.
Copyright, 1913. lo
RS. OBAD1AH CRAIG is quite
some at making artificial
flowers. S3he made a bouquet
of roses the other day and took their,
with a bunch of real flowers to her
husband to see if he could detect the
difference. Obadia.li, thinking to make
King Solomon look like a weather
clerk, let ,in a bee to see where it
would light. Tho bee stung Obadiah
on the nose Leave it to the bees to
pick out the real blossoms, sav we.
Nigger Knight asks us what pro
cedure tiie trusts take to check hostile
legislation, and \v< hasten to say
that w« doubt if they use checks, l
uumc ou tht* back of a check is llablt
A '
-n
tiie Star Company
to give rise to embarrassing ques
tions, but iron men tell no tales.
According to Nigger Knight, some
of these cubist artists ought to be
imprisoned for their work.
A local photographer tried to take a
moving picture of a Southern ex
press train, but had to give it up as a
bad job and be content with a stere-
opticon view.
Delia Snodgrass has a trained pul
let on her farm which is so versatile
that when they don’t need the hen to
lay eggs she impersonates a bird
of paradise on Delia’s new spring
bonnet. Some clues to that chicken,
say we, meaning tiie pullet, uot Delia
Hopeless.
Cassidy—In this blessed country of
ours a man can come up from noth
ing. Just look at our Mayor!
Kerrigan—Did he come up from
nothing?
Cassidy—He did! He hasn’t got a
drop of Irish blood in his veins!
Absent-Minded.
“Smalley is an absent-minded fel
low." said Bilkes. “When he was en
gaged to Mrs. S. he asked her to g* to
the opera with him one night, and
bought only one seat. He explained t\
to her by saying he was so used to
occupying a single chair with her that
he didn’t think."
A Future Cracker
By STANLEY R. H0FFLUND.
Copyright, 1913. by the Star Company. Qr«*
Britain Right* Reserved.
} T was like dis, see!
De score was four to tfree,
De last half of de nint\ an’;Uf
to bat.
We had to get a run
To keep from bein’ done
By dem bush-league boys. I couldn*
stand for dat.
But it looked like we was stuck—
We was playin’ in hard luck,
Wid de umps a woikin’ fer de other
club;
An' our pitcher, Mick O’Toole
Had to stay in after school.
We was usin’ Izzy Stein, a Yiddish
dub.
An' w e only had eight men,
While dey was playin’ ten,
An’ on deir own home grounds—it was
a shame.
Every time we makes a play
Deir gang gets in de way,
An’ was goin’ to beat us up after da
game.
We'd licked dem guys before—
Run up a nawful score—
When we played ’em at our grounds
in Cassey’s lot.
Chee! we're champions, y’u knew,
An’ it wouldn’t do to go
An, let ’em rob us. Chee! it made me'
hot.
De foist man up to bat
Was our star infielder, “Fat.”
Dat guy kin wield de stick to beat de
band;
But he didn’t have no show,
Umps calls t'ree strikes in a row,
Every one a ball. De next man alee
fanned.
Two outs, an’ four to t’ree,
“Reddy” Jones to bat, den me.
“Reddy” leans against de ball, an' get*
to foist.
Den I knocks out a home-run
T’rough a window, an’ we won.
Chee! you’d ought ter heard de way
dem pikers coist.
Course I never likes to blow
’Bout meself, but you must know
How me battin’ put dem pitchers on
de shelf,
Any guy dat’s seen me play
Says I’ll make big league someday.
Ask de boys. I hates to talk about
meself.
HOW TO
BUILD A
BUNGLE-O
Smoked Glasses Needed to
See New Summer Cravats!
The Wit
of the Week
Language,
R. OSLER tells the following to
illustrate the elasticity of the
English language, as used by ti.e
Southern negro.
One day there came to the clinic
a negress with a broken jaw. The
examining physician, intent on dis
covering the exact nature and ex
tent of the injury, asked numerous
questions. To all of them the negress
returned evasive answers. Finally
she admitted that she was “hit by
a object."
“Was it a large object or a small
object?" asked the physician.
“Tolle'by large.”
“Was it a hard object or a soft
object?”
“Tolle’by hard."
“Was it coming rapidly or slowly?”
“Tolle’by fast.” Then, her patience
exhausted, the negress turned to the
physician. “To tell the truth, doctor,
I was jest simply kick’d in the face
by a gen’leman friend.”
A New Profession.
“Yer see this cove 'ere? ’e’s wait
ing for a what'll."
“For a wattle?"
“Yuss; for a ‘What’ll yer ’ave?”
Overruled.
“HH, but Judge,” protested Jinks.
^ when his honor imposed a $10
fine for overspeeding, “look at your
roads! No car ever made could have
gone over eight miles an hour through
that mire.”
“Thet’s jest it!” said his honor, se
verely. “ ’Twam’t nothing but thet
there mud of ourn as held ye back!”
N OTHING gives one quite such
good standing in society as
a bungle-o. Country estates
were once in vogue, but civilization
was raw in those days. To-day the
person who does not possess a bun
gle-o has no claim whatever on so
ciety.
Mr. Noah Webster, author of a
little volume entitled, “Words. Words.
Words,” spells bungle-o, “bungalow,”
but his definition is “a thatched cot
tage in India.” Had Mr. Webster been
fortunate enough to have read our
author’s directions for the making of
a bungle-o, he would have spelled it
as we do.
FIRST -Select a site. Many ama
teurs have failed because they lacked
a proper site. Without a site the
most costly bungle-o will prove im
practicable.
NEXT—Having secured a site (a
second-hand one will do) move it to
whatever locality you prefer. A va
cant lot will do. Now for the founda
tion.
Secure four large tomato cans, of
equal Hize. Fill them with sand and
set them upright, one at each corner
of an imaginary oblong. An imag
inary oblong may be secured for a
few pennies out of any school geom
etry.
Loud? Well, take it from us—some!
It’s also glittering, garish, halloing, hectic, shrieking, palpi
taut, shrill and a few other things like that.
Wheu you drift into a haberdashery shop these days and ask
to be shown the latest thing in cravats, take along your automo
bile goggles. You’ll need them. Smoked glasses will do.
Suitings, Reggie, are to be sombre, y’know. And fashion has
decreed that there has to be some sort of counter-irritant. And
these new summer cravatiugs have been designed with an eye to
just that.
Loud? Say, They’re Shrieks!
S
By following with great care the
directions given here, you can not
fail in making as beautiful a mess
as was ever jumbled together by
human hands.
BIFF! BANG! SI LASH!
No, Reggie! This isn’t a riot call.
That’s your summer necktie coming down Peachtree.
FLOOR—Some of the more fastid
ious prefer a floor in their bungle-os.
One can not cheat in making floors,
they should be on the level. Remove
the bulkhead doors from your home
if you rent aflat, or tr t om your neigh
bor’s house if you own your own
house. Place these on the tomato
cans.
WALLS—For the walls or sides,
place your upright piano on tiie
northern end, on the eastern side
place the side of a closed trolley car.
This may be secured by sawing off
the side of any old trolley car you
may happen to have about the house.
This will at the same time provide
windows. On the western side pile
up about nine tiers of mahogany sec
tional bookcases which may be found
in the advertising pages of any maga
zine.
ROOF— Even Noah knew enough to
put a roof on his old ark of a bun
gle-o. You can not do very well
without it unless equipped with div
ing suits. Take up the linoleum from
your kitchen floor and spread it over
your bungle-o, nailing it securely to
the top of the piano and thence to the
mahogany bookcases and the side of
the trolley car. This will prove water
proof except, perhaps, in little spots
here and there, but a little court plas
ter will remedy this.
COST—You can readily see that
this sort of a bungle-o costs prac
tically nothing except for the- imag
inary oblong secured from a school
geometry for a few pennies.
When Joseph sprung that coat of many colors he thought he
had set a limit on shrieks. But he made a bad guess.
These summer ties out-Joseph Joseph.
They likewise out-rainbow the rainbow.
Wagner’s song hits will sound like lullabies in comparison.
And, Reggie, don’t wear a rubber collar with these ties.
Not unless you want to have the fire department out after you.
But mere words won’t describe these cravats. The only way
to judge them is to wear them.
And you have to w r ear them or you areu’t in the swim.
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