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The Dingbat Family
Anecdotes by
Famous People
The Old Man Learns Something New
riman
/"Thus Do Vou LeAR^Tn/vr ,4aj ' U/vriPe.
Yha,t You may learn The feErr&fc. amjY.
-WOftE, iA«T7/U6LY M'i CElEsTiAl hope
It would Be Weil. That You / -
STASre OF Ttoi FRuiT
/HAllAJt. /MUCH Yo\
/ lEARAJ. "MY OW)'
I AliD AlO toARbEW
OF EDEAJ*7o L05&
U'iL TASTE, rr -
? Ac M That
PEASI/MMOAJ is A saiaee A/uts aL
■" —Delusiwu, A/vp> A fruit
_ Oi \ UERV Deceitful /aj iri \
Jtw*& \HABITS, A TH/AJU <
L we 5wouu> Au. BeO)
Jr^/^TtiiF 'to J
f Thoot^. /ADy Fa I ft",
I Au EVER. EEADV '
Fur. a Bit of /ato v
BE it FR.OM A FRUiT
OR BE 'T Fqom Ay
^VEGETABLE -j
,tf»MV /MV HEA*T-,
we A C'PpAt cesscw F Ro/w
&U» A tEMOW a FAL
/oujlv But Deliquously,
So To- DAV I HAve
I HOPE you!
ATXH -^r
CEAftM
•././‘-’TOT’- r % I
.»« t,0
SSSfW'** *.
CHAHCt To
oHOU) A HEAP Of VIOLENCE A
FAFAlLETTS OF ALL That is
rEAJTLE im HUMOR. UlESit
SOPE, AAOAJE.ys
I6AJAT2 )
VF A 6*tAT PA i cm A SnoulK'
Aye TooTPut \
BuT I Still
V Am AT A Loss\
*1 Aj To Hcu>> ( _
A^That Eajrkhe”s
XYou —/
avey /Mo/uev
5AV You * (
iHow AlOAiey
Ucecl. A iuT I &OT T -x
|THE ORIGINAL /here
i Before me, At^->
V AidrH/Ajfcr The /' o\
tcost * y f
r JUST^W/WK I&A/AT2 " OfL,
'The Mouays I Am /MAKhoo
(U ZOOK/*)* At Thi& < '
I WOUbCEpyt-S A«Jo C -
vFFAuTiVul S CEWSSCAPB
/PAIWT TheS AEMESiCAPES <
yuooLb Some Rich ham MoT
\S4ve Him At least C"~-T
XSDCftrrs For It *jStK
A Barrel
MiCKL
V quick i 1
Irishman, “ye must be doing a mighty
tine business, ye ain't got but one
left.”
Edison's Story.
Mr. Thomas A. Edison was accept
ing blandly a reporter’s apology for
an error in a quotation. "Oh,” Mr.
Edison said, “I am rather well used
to being misquoted. Electrical terms
are always confusing to the lay min i.
No wonder. Listen to this.” Here
Mr. Edison drew a telegram from his
pocket. "I got this telegram from an
assistant electrician this morning.” he
said. "Listien.'' And he read: "Wire
with no outside outside. Put inside
wire outside and outside inside. Need
more outside for inside.”
He Knew.
It was a pa/rty of visitors seeing
the sights in Pittsburg that final i*
entered the conservatory presented to
the city by Mr. Phipps. The curator
while showing them around was
called away on business and left the
visitors in charge of one of the clerks.
They came to a beautiful statue
which was admired immensely. It
was of translucent marble. He point
ed out the excellencies of the statue,
told the name of the sculptor, anc/
showed it from even* viewpoint. One
asked: "Alabaster, isn’t it?” “No,” hj
said, “Venus.’*
A Club Yarn.
The following good story was told
i not long ago at one of the Atlanta
| clubs: One or two young officer^
were dining together at a restaurant
night, and the conversation be
came a discussion on lies and lying
there was a
Ma Is an Ardent Recruit
Copyright, 1013, International News Se*rioa.
Do Yfcu MEAN ~To$TAMDiHERE
AU'TELL ME Yfcf? WILLIN'
To BE- Classed with The
do Vex* M E/4 w To Tell ME Ybu
D0W7 W4N7 a Voice IM
THE 6oVEPWMEw7 ?
4BE Vfc>U WILLING To Be
CLASSED WITH "THE
AMD FELONS ■
I NM4WT You To
WE4R ONE OF
These 'i/oTeS
For women
Bi/T foNS MA
EY£RVBOOV"S
[ Ddin it ! y
do you
BE LI EYE )Kl
VflTIES FOR
VX/OMEM,
DELI CIA ?
Tee! hee.-’
I SHOULD
WORRY
ABOUT The
VOTE
T4kt a Away
folly ne Got
TROUBLE
■ENOUGH .
N CW
AShamed
of ^/OU, MA
THE VERY
\PEAH
of Such a
“Thihg!
! lowiifts am- BUMS'
^ IDIOTS
n <—
By Tom McNamara
Eaglebeak Spruder Is Almost Too Popular
P<*n*t*r«d United State* Patent Offloa
one
generally, and finally
warm debate as to who was the big
gest liar known to them. An old gen-
I tleman sitting at a table near was
unable to avoid overhearing the dis
cussion. and after a few minutes he
| rose and came over to their table. “I
have just heard you decide, gentle-
] men.’' he said gravely, “that Lieutem-
| ant Arthur is the biggest linr
have ever met. I am his fa-
AM GCf AuiAY Wltn YlbLHHj From YA To^feoME
TELL MA TO TEU PA THAT YOU POURED \
SISTER'S SOLD FISHES INTO THE
'PONOGRAPH' HORN, SCE \ f<r=^ L -/Mm
I OONT? r— ' tjmk
’ I AIN'T 60NNA PLAT NO MORE•
SKINNY SHAME R'S
600617 DEPARTMENr
SHANE R'S
EAST
DRAUlING
LESSONS
NO- 4-
^ £v -
GOOD!. !■
SISTER'S
6oT HIM'.
AGAIN HUH ? - I CAfCHED YA -
YOU PRACTISE ALL THE VMAY
DOWN TD THE ' POFESSERS
HOUSE ELSE HI f
GONNA BS-A'HOLDOUTER" lU STICK
HERE AND Taf x T>
PIPE OFF I \ ^
THE GAME ; ffiRfW /
HE'LL X
HAFTER
OAMOOSf
P16 INI
BARREL
dnjkH«n, to yp&iruiaifo
Ml CM’T YOU fJEUER
TEU UJHEP.E A P/N (S
60IN6 *
i you
I ther.
After a few seconds' embarrassed
silence one of the young officers be
gan to stammer apologies, but the
i old man waved them aside. “No,
no.” he said, “don’t apologize: it’s
quite unnecessary. I was only going
; to say that If you regard my son Ar-
! thur as the biggest liar you have ever
I met you can not possibly have met my
| other son. Richard.’’
The Editor’s Story.
A certain editor Is credited with
having related this story: He once
ordered a story of a certain length
and discovered the novelist had writ
ten several hundred words too many.
In order to make the story fit the
space at his disposal the last few
paragraphs were condensed Into a
single sentence. This is the way it
read: “Von Berken took a small glass
of whisky, his hat, his departure, no
notice of his pursuers, a revolver out
of his pocket, and finally his life.”
Mr. Barrie’s Best.
It is said of Mr. J. M. Barrie that
he is rather shy and retiring in man
ner and one of the “most enjoyable*
social functions” he ever attended
was, it is said, a dinner in which he'
turned to his neighbor and asked, “Do
you converse?” “No. I don’t,” replied
his neighbor. “Neither do I,” said
Mr. Barrie, comfortably.
Not To Be Believed.
Mr. “Johnnie” Schofield, the come
dian, relates an amusing story. A
certain doctor had a patient. One day
he came to the doctor in great trou
ble. During the night, he said, he
had accidentally swallowed a mouse.
The doctor told him to get a cat and
some fried cheese and to lie on his
back with his mouth open and the
cheese on his nose. “Then,” said the
doctor, “when the mouse smells the
cheese he will come up for It, and
the cat will then be able to catch it.”
The man thanked him and went home.
But the next day he was back again
in worse trouble than ever. “Well,
did you do as I told you?” asked the
doctor. “Yes,” said the man, “but
while I was lying on my back I fell
off to sleep. Now the cat is missing,/
and I’m afraid it has gone down'
after the mouse.”
BECAUSE iT is
beaoed one WAS and
pointed another-
order:,-order: order!
dutM’j
PfR/OM 0
' L"-<-IAk) lEFFieiR
EIGHTH STREET- 0. S.A.
MAt KINO OF A
CRIME DO A SLEEPING
BOY REPRESEiVrHOW ?
AkJSWER ilJ ■TO /YURRooJ 5
HEY, that's the MATTER j
HEY CUT OUT THAT RACKET
you're eusXlN' UP BUSINESS
6AUJAN WCiUkJ.
PRACTISE
louder: ,
im ADARviElODS
EA6LEBEAK SPRDDER.
DEMONSTRATES
BIS POPULARITY
tu iTh THE fams
BY BusTimg up
.YESTERDAYS GAME
'BEFORE ITSIARTED
^AUAGeR FL-rww iG
YOl'SE Fans? - Comp
BACK HERE TFe
GAME STARTS in
SECOND' J
A <FNTLE MAh )
ESt The NAf*1E OF K
SArq just phoned
he ex RUIHT OVER
fnd join \ou: ^
OH HUBB-, -
'M'aS, JONES IS
teaching me to
turket trot-
AND I V.ANT
too to dance
-- to !
DlO NOV,
dear
CONE ON WITH
U*b AND HAVE
Dinner anc
EXE E>OME HOOD
turret trots
TUPkET
yrot-
eh-
mv vord :
JUST Th,„ n
Of N>F UEAVINq
RONE to SEE
“such foolish
dancing
cone on-
lif A <|00D
FtU-OVi
for once:
VjT-TUT .
NOT me -
THATEj Too
foolish
to even
FHINN OF'
oh : The
Gan an a
Peel slip'i
Oh, It’s Great To
Be Married !
T :T”n ; 1
<srsd . -S —m—" ■ifcif l iiiTTnr n r \
Copyright, 1013. Int«rn*t1on«l N>w» Service. * mi *
• • • • • • • •
i—nr - i ?— \ 1
i Tt*«" tumuu a . PAPER'.
By George McManus
■ -