Newspaper Page Text
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THE
Little Bobbie’s
Pa
May Flowers” €
Copyright, 1913, National Nows Ass'n.
By NELL BRINKLEY
By WILLIAM F. KIRK
P A took me flailing yesterday. It
was a beautiful day wen we
Rtarted out & Pa sed it wav
jest the kind of a day to catch a lot of
fish
• Doant you think you ought to take
a guide, deerest. sed Ma. You know ■
we are strangers to this seokshun &
you mite not be abel to find the right
places to fish. My father used to al
ways talk a guide with him wen ht
went fishing in a strange country. J-P-
. was always a Trade that he mite gu
los't.
Thare is no tf-nger of - mi losing me |
ihat eesy, said Pa. Doant you worry
about that.
I know thare is no clianst to lose
you. sed Ma, but I shud hate to lose
littel Bobbie. Pleese talk a guide.
Thare is no danger around this
open country, sed Pa, we doant need a
guide: cum on, Bobbie. Doant fergit i
to hang onto that lunch. We will
Yieed it by noon.
He Got Tired.
After we had walked for about two
hours I began to git kind of tired & 1
cud see that Pa was gitting tired, too.
How far is this stream? T a viced Pi
T doant want to walk all day. It cant
be very much further, said Pa. The
man at the hotel toald us to keen
walking thru thi? patch of hard wood
due north, till we cairn to a big pine
tree and then to go about two miles
thru a spruce patch until we cairn to
the stream. Bobbie, sed Pa. doant
you hear a littel trout stream purling
anywhere?
N'o, T sed. 1 am lessening as hard
as I can.
Doant you hear anv kind of a
stream pur! at all? sed Pa.,
Xo. I sed. not any kind or a dream.
& f aint going to walk much further,
eet her.
Then Pa beegan talking to me about
one time wen he took sum frend?
along trout fishing in upper Mishigan.
Tliay all tliot I was lost, sed Pa.
I hare was two ladies in the crowd &
tliav whs the bravest in the party. 1
The men looked awful worried, sed !
Pa: thav kep telling how we was up
aggensi it. but the ladies jest kep on
laffirig and cheering thare husbands.
Thay had perfeck faith in me beekau-
T herd one of them toll the other that
1 looked so self-reliant that she wud
trust me any ware to keep peepul from
danger. Yes. sied Pa those ladies
trusted me & thare faith in m-* was
justified. Presently we cairn to our i*
destination. Pa sed. & the ladies sed
tliay felt like hugging me.
1 cud Fee that Pa was talking kind
of absent-minded beekauvall the time j
* ie was talking he ken looking around
in the woods & 1 knew he dident
know his wav.
•fcsi then Pa sed Robbie. Robbie, i
" ! ' It : , sound of
1 afer fh-
Bobbie ?
1 Dident I '
<•> i gi;
Ie.s‘ t
■leering
ling wa
f v^ s
mir-
They Hear It.
< " l y> rn -ff. | herd the running
wu;■ r too, so both of us began to
wad. aster tow ard -a fleering. After
ue brook. Bobbie, sed P.
arrange our tackel & go after
ckled on ties.
■••en we cairn out into.the
; ar< we bad herd the run-
< r A Pa & me neerlv feli
• •■ er \\v w.-is back to the littel'hotel
ironi , w had started out from.
\'> had went in a cirkel. Ma was
setting on the porch grinning at Pa. &
the uound of the running water was
water cumming. from a hose. The
hired man was washing the barn.
Xow Ma calls Pa Isaak Walton.
Uncle’s Sporting Trophies.
Tom Brown and Jack Smith had
been schoolmates together, but,
often happens, had drifted apart
Ing the year* that followed. 1 Then,
Quite accidentally, they met again one
day. and somehow the conversation
turned to the subject of athletics.
“Let me see!” said Brown. "You
never came across my brother, did
you? He’s a fine runner, you know'.
Why, only last week he w r on a gold
medal in a Marathon race."
“Ah!" said SiriUh, raising his eye
brows in genuine admiration. Then,
a faint smile playing around his Ups.
he added: “And did r ever tell you
about my uncle?’’ •
“Don’t think so." replied Brown.
“Well in his day, not only did he get
a gold medal for five miles, and one
for ten miles, but two sets of carvers
for cycling, a silver medal for swim
ming, 'wo cup* for wrestling, to say
nothing of badges for boxing and row
ing.
• “You see," Smith continued, while
his friend sat speechless with amaze
ment, “the uncle in question kept a
pawnshop.’’
° o’. .
Her Love For Romance
A HUMOROUS STORY.
A f
S a little girl AlbeMine always
sat in the chair in the farthest
corner when she went to chil
dren s parties. She had a meek, pret
ty little face, abundant yellow hair
md large, appealing blue eyes that
held a shadow of apology in them for
her temerity in presuming to exist.
She retained the modest violet at
mosphere after she whs grown up.
Other girls might blossom into dar
ing coquettes and fascinating belles,
rut Albertine always kept in the
background. Whenever people looked
-it her they involuntarily thought of
it.ee mitts* and hoopskirts and curt
seys. They felt that Albertine shout.1
u- put under glass.
This being the case, it was aston-
•fc-hing that down in her secret heart
• bertine had a fierce love of the dar-
iig. the wild and gay and the ex-
■umc. When /die picked out a dress
design she always chose the rankesb
most fdarming atrocity. The dress
maker 5-aid, “Oh. certainly!” and then
proceeded to modify the pattern to
suit A-bertine’s appearance.
She Suspected.
Things had a way of drooping on
her in old-fashioned lines. She want
ed to look frightfully smart and ,
somehow she never did. Secretly she
suspected the dressmakers, but she
never dared accuse them.
It was the same way when it cam''
to the young men. Let a perfectly
steady, sober youth who earned a
regular salary and was good to his
mother come her way and Albertine
raised her little nose and sniffed. She
simply could not see him. She ad
mired extravagantly the sort of young
man who dashed down the stre-'t
wearing crimson silk socks and a tie
to match and the latest cry in waist-
coat's, and if he was followed by a
bulldog so much the better. If people
raised their eyebrows and coughed dis
creetly when his name was mentioned
: t made the situation perfect.
Albertine always felt loftily then
‘hat she was an experienced, worldly
.wise person and the eyebrow raisers
were narrow provincials. Usually the
bulldoggv young man neve: pro
gressed in the acquaintance further
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Mian raising his hat and casting an
entrancing smile at her; but Albertine
was satisfied with just adoring him
from a distance.
Her family was quite alarmed when
she fell in love with Harry Jungles,
because Harry always was in debt
and worked only semi-occasionally
and Albertine’s relatives had a great
deal of money. Harry seemed awake
to this fact, for he actually called on
Albertine and talked poetry to her in
Mie parlor in low, rich tones, and told
tier how the world misjudged him.
Albertine went so far as to powder
her already white nose and her moth
er caught her once using an eyebrow
pencil. It was much the same :s
though an Easter lily had begun to
rouge. The situation was saved, how
ever. by the Sheriff’s removing Harry
for forgery, and after that Albertinj
wore what she thought was a heart
broken expression and thought she
% hre\v into her face deep lines of ex
perience and suffering.
After Harry several others of f hc
same kind followed. Therefore, hav
ing long hovered over Albertine .n
fear that she would do. some fo >1
thing and spoil her life, her family
was entranced when she became en
gaged to Jeffrey. It all hapnened so
suddenly that one was scarcely aware
•Jeffrey was on earth before he w
introducing himself as the future son-
in-law and brother.
Jeffrey was absolutelv as nearly
perfect as he could be for Alberti..
Liberal-minded people might say he
erred on the side of rigidness and
propriety and possible narrowness
but one felt that he would always be
at home at G 6’clock sharp for dinner
and that Albertine never would ha e
to fang out of the front-window’ try
ing to distinguish whether it was
wavering down the street at 1 o'clock
in the morning. Jeffrey choked at the
sight of a cigarette, wouldn't « e
caught dead at a dog show' and said
his wife never should be permitted
wear decollete gowns in the evening.
What She Said.
The more people considered the
matter the more inexplicable it be
came. Finally her dearest friend flat
ly asked Albertine to explain Jeffrey's
attractions.
“You see,’ - said the dearest friend,
“with your ideas I can’t understan 1
how r you happen to fall in love with
Jeffrey, of all men.”
“Of all men!” echoed Albertine in
pitying astonishment. “Why, I’ll ieli
you. Susie—because I recognized hi
once that Jeffrey'is the most sophisti
cated sort of person. He’s such a man
of the world. T can’t abide these*
goody-goody men! - ’
THEN Spring comes laughing by vale and hill,
VV By windflower dancing and daffodil,
Sin£ stars of morning—sing morning skies,
Sing blue of speedwell, and my love’s eyes,
And gay birds gossip the orchard long.”
1
"he Change in George
UTT7 HBN 1 fire
\\ change in
first noticed the
George,” said
the blond woman, who was
no bigger than a minute. “I thought
it was indigestion. Tt is perfectly
wonderful how much a man's liver is
responsible for! But when I men
tioned the doctor he was quite violent.
In fact, be was rude and stamped
around. It is hard on the rugs when
a man acts that way.
‘“Don’t roar at me, George!' 1 told
him.
“‘I’ve got to!’ he said in a regular
Bengal tiger sort of way* ‘I’ve got
to in order to maintain my supremacy
in the home! ’
“Now, George has always been such
beat her she respected him and
thanked her stars that her man was
so strong. Further, she was com
pletely happy to think that the gen
tleman who had loosened her front
teeth belonged entirely to her. I hate
to do it, Evangeline, but you’ve got
to respect me and look up to me, even
if I have to follow that writer's advice
and beat you! In fact, he says, a
great many women require more oi*
less beating to make them loving
dutiable wives!'
George Shook His Head.
“ ‘George,’ I said when he stopped
for breath, ‘Just what is your inten
tion? Am l to understand that you
are about to knock me dow n in order
a perfect gentleman and so mild that to make sure of my imperishable af
fection? Are you contemplating dent
ing my’ face for the purpose of mak
ing me too Utterly happy to live? Be
cause if you are '
“George shook his head as if he
were considering something under a
microscope. What a mistake I’ve
been making,’ ho confided to himself.
Why, Evangeline, you are entirely
lacking in that devotion which is
part fear and which is necessary to
make a happy wife! It is all my
fault!’
“Right here I concluded that it was
time to take George by the hand and
lead him forth to safety. ‘Darling,’
said I. ‘if you will tell me how a
woman is going to stand in any fear
of a man after she has viewed him
crawling under the bed after his col
lar button or trying to light the gas
with an already burned match or at
tempting to answer his child who
wants to know what there would
have been if there hadn’t been any
thing 1 shall consider myself in your
debt!
" 'Nat wishing to thrust myself for
ward or unduly trumpet my own
worth, 1 still would bet my false hair
that if 1 ever get hold of that scien
tific friend of yours long enough to
whisper a few thoughts into his ear
he would shrivel up and blow away!
And now if you really yearn to hold
my love and affection, go down and
shake up the furnace, because the
house is getting cold!’
*.* ‘Oh. vur-ry w ell.’ said George,
peevishly, as he headed for the base
ment stairs. ‘That’s the way you
always act when I attempt any real
progress. Women aren’t scientific!’
“ Indeed, they’re not!’ 1 told him
‘They're just plain sensible!’”
you may well imagine that I was
amazed. See here, George Guesser!’
I said to him. ‘Tell me at once what
you mean!’
“This Was Different.”
“George frowned awfully. His eye
brows looked like a lilac hedge that
hasn’t been trimmed since last spring.
Then he cleared his throat. ‘I’ve just
waked up to the fact,' said he, ‘that
I have been taking a back seat and
allowing you to think I didn’t count.
Why, when T consider how near .1
have been to losing your love it
makes me shudder! I just read a
wonderful article ’
‘Oh!’ said I. 'An article!. But
do you believe all you read?’
“ This was different,’ George said.
Then he explained.
“‘It was in one of the scientific
magazines, and the writer began by
saying that every woman sits and
waits the coming of her lord and mas
ter and is ready to follow when he
beckons. He does not woo or be
seech; lie takes; he- ’
“ ‘George Guesser,’ 1 said to him.
‘whenever you waste time beckoning ;
me instead of coming where I am I’d 1
like to know It! Do you think 1 am a
little yellow puppy dog?’ My, but I
was angry!
“George, looked sad. I see I have
allow’ed you to get away from me.’ he
mused. Then he roared at me.
‘ “There is never a man brute so bru
tal but a woman clings to him!"' he
quoted and beat the air with his arms.
That was a fundamental point with
the writer. He said that if the man
cringed before the woman she had
only contempt for him. but that if he
Cleek of the Forty Faces
By T. W. HANSHAW.
Copyright by Doubleday, rage A Co.
TO-DAY’S INSTALLMENT.
{4*T*HANKR, very much. I’m hav-
ing rather a difficult task of
it, for our friend, the Con
stable here, corroborates Miss Ren
frew’s statement to the hair, and yet
I am absolutely positive that there is
a mistake.”
“There is no mistake—no, not one!
The wicked one to say it still!”
“Oh. that’s all very well, madame;
but I know what I know; and when
you tell me that a dead man can ask
questions. * * • Pah! The fact
of the matter is that the Constable
only fancies he heard Mr. Noswortb
speak. That’s where the mistake
comes In. Now. look here. I once
knew' of an exactly similar case and
I’ll tell you just how it happened. Let
us suppose”—strolling leisurely for
ward—“let us suppose that this space
here is the covered passage and you—
step here a moment, please. Thanks,
very much—and you are Miss Ren
frew, and Gorham here is himself,
and standing beside her as he did
then."
“Wasn’t beside her. sir—at leawd not
just exactly. A bit behind her—like
this."
“Oh. very well, then, that will do.
Now then. Here's the passage and
here are you, and I’ll just show you
how a mistake could occur and how
it did occur under precisely similar
circumstances. Once upon a tim«'
when I was in Paris—”
‘‘It’s a Play.”
“In Paris, monsieur?”
’Yes, madame—this little thing I’m
going to tell you about happened
there. You may or may not have
heard that a certain French drama
tist wrote a play called ‘Chanticler’—
or maybe you never heard of it?
Didn’t, eh? Well, it’s a play where
all the characters are barnyard crea
tures—dogs, poultry, birds and the
like—and the odd fancy of men and
women dressing up like fowls took
such a hold on the public that before
long there w r ere Chanticler dances and
Chanticler parties in all the houses
and Chanticler ‘turns’ on at all thr
music halls until w’herever one went
for an evening’s amusement one was
pretty sure of seeing somebody or
another dressed up like a cock or n
hen and cunning the thing to death.
But that’s another story, and we’ll
pass over it. Now, it just so hap
pened that one night—when the craze
for the thing was dying out and
barnyard dresses could be bought for
a song. T strolled into a little fourth-
rate cafe at Monternartre and there
saw' the only Chanticler dancer that I
ever thought was worth a sou. She
was a pretty, dainty little thing—
light as a feather and graceful as a
fairy. Alone, T think she might have
made her mark, but she was one of
what in music halldom they call ‘a
team.’ Her partner wag a man—a
bad dancer, an indifferent singer, but
a really passable ventriloquist."
The Expose.
"A ventriloquist, monsieur—er—er,”
“desk, madam—name's Cleek, if
you don’t mind!"
"Cleek! Oh. lummy!” blurted out
Mr. Nippers. Bui neither, “Madam”
nor Constable Oorham said anything
They merely swung round and mada
a sudden bolt; and Cleek. making a
holt, too, pounced down On them like
a leaping eat. and the sharp click-
click of the handcuffs he had bor
rowed from Mr. Nippers told just
when he linked their two wrists to
gether.
"Game’s up Mile, Fiflne. otherwise
Mme. Nosworth, the worthless wife of
a worthless husband!” he rapped out
sharply. “Game's up, Mr. Henry N'os-
worth, bandit, pickpocket and mur
derer! There's a hot corner in hell
waiting for the brute-beast that could
kill bis own father, and would, for
the simple sake of money. Get at
him quick. Mr. N'arkom. He’s got one
free hand! Nip the paper out of his
pocket before the brute destroys it!
Played, sir, played! Buck up, Miss
Renfrew, buck pp, little girl!—you'll
get your 'Boy' and you’ll get Mr. Sep
timus Nosworth’s promised fortune
after all' 'God's In his heaven and
all's right with the world!’”
“Yes, a very, very clever scheme
indeed. Miss Renfrew,” agreed Cleek,
“Bald with great cunning and carried
out with extreme carefulness—as
witness the man's coming here and
getting appointed constable and bid
ing Ills time, and the woman serving
as cook for six months to get the
entree to the house and lo he ready
to assist when the time of action came
round. I don't think I had the lea3t
inkling of the truth until I entered
this house and saw the woman. She
had done her best to pad herself to
an unwieldly size, and to blanch por
tions of her hair, but she couldn't
quite make her face appear old with
out betraying the fact that it was
painted and hers Is one of those
peculiarly pretty faces that one never
forgets when one has ever seen It.
To Be Concluded To-morrow.
The Professor
Ate Nuts
<f\7’ r ' s ” »»l<i Professor J. Had.,
jf densfleld Joy, "f used to be a
vegetarian myself. I have
seen the time when a big porterhouse
steak or a fat and lean slice of ham
made me (ear my hair, realising how,
barbarous Is man. Broiled spring
chicken made me grate my teeth 'n
rage.
Not onlj was I vegetarian. but f,
was one of those who follow along
lines of the most extreme differentia
tion T couldn't eat pieplant tope or
white oak bark, just because they
were vegetable substances, 1 special,
lzed in cocoa nuts.
I bought a hundred fine, fresh nuts*,.
I hese T put In a cool and shady place,
and thereupon discarded all allegiance
1° as haVe dwarfed man's
usu^ lnte,leot ’ M > family ate
"When morning: dawned on mv first
day of rea4 liberty I got a handsaw
and sawed off the top of a nut. Then’
Ii*!/* 11 ?life-giving fluid in-
s'de. After that I proceeded bo feast
on the meat of the nut, a» m.v distant
ancestors had done. When I etarted
for the laboratory I took a fine nut
under my arm and tried to walk m
mv usual heavy and methodical stride
1' was no use. I felt like hopping
along.
A Deep Longing.
Persons whom 1 met addressed me
as 'professor.' but with a gaze too hu
man to suit me. I found myself look,
ing up Into trees with a. vague de r p
longing. It was as though T had in-
nertted something that had been hid-
den in my soul's archives ail my life.
I arrived at tile laboratory with mv
emblem of liberty atlll under my arm.
The rude and thoughtless experiment
alists looked and talked as they talk
who are in a state of menial slavery.
My luncheon made me want to run
up and down the halls and passages
and climb the posts.
"This glorious life lasted for s week
One night Mrs. Joy had to take a
broomstick and punch me down from
the picture railing, where I was trv-
ing to pass 'he night. The next liav I
could nt resist the temptation to clin.h
a tree when I had started to condue*
my daily investigation of life's solemn
facts at. the laboratory. A cocoanut
was under my arm. Presently the;-e
came speeding along a very big man
In a very big automobile. I landed the
cocoanut on his head with a precision
that I had never learned. Tn another
instant my man wtas shaking my
perch as if he were a concentrated
earthquake. Ail the Jova swarmed
around the tree. Mrs. Joy shrieked;
Don't hurt him—hej been living on
cocoanutsl’
The End of It.
“‘Turned back into a monkey, his •
he?’ said the man. ‘I've been living
on raw meat, and if I get my hands
on him I’ll eat him!’ Then he de
parted.
“All the Joys got hold of me and^,
took me back to the dining room and"
seated me at the table. Soon there
was spread before me a repast con
sisting of one porterhouse steak, one
slice of ham. three slices of bacon and
a few other things. I could scarcely
walk when I started to work.
"Henceforth give me a full dinner
of real food or cut down the trees.”
Up-to-Date Jokes
"Bronson’s wife used to be one of
your old flames, didn’t she?”
“Yes; I was in real misery when she
threw me over for him.”
“Well, that makes you square. Now
Bronson's the man in misery.”
• • •
Patient—But. doctor, you are not
asking five dollars for merely taking
a cinder out of my eye?
Specialist—er—no. My charge is for 1
removing a foreign substance from the
cornea.
• • •
A man having buried his wife, a
woman of unusual size, a neighbor a (
few days afterwards attempted a little -
In the consolation line by remarking:
“Well, Mr. , you have met with a r -
heavy loss.” *
“Yes." replied the mourner, “she”
weighed close upon four hundred
pounds.”
• • •
If you wish to pay a pretty compli- '
ment to a plain and ignorant woman
and at the same time do not wish to* '
be guilty of an untruth, tel! her that
«he is as beautiful as she is accom
plished. She will think you are a charm-.-
Ing man, and your conscience will be
guiltless of a lie.
ShciectlfctMe^i
Gat the Original and Genuine
HORLICK’S
MALTED MILK
The Food-drink for All Agea.
For Infants, Invalids ajid Growing Chil
dren. Pure Nutrition, upbuilding the*
whole body. , Invigorates the nursing
mother and' the aged. Rich milk, malted
grain, in powder form.
A quick lunch prepared in a minute.
Take no substitute. Ask for HORLICK’S
Not in Any Milk Trust
For Sale VAUDEVILLE THEATER
For colored patrons: seating capacity 1,000. Big money-maker. Cleared
more than $10,000 last year. Owner must sell quick on account of bad
health. For full particulars call
DIXIE THEATER, 127 Decatur St.
rrr^n
7"~<\ O
rive
T>°
Is the name of the great serial story, the first installment of which will be
published in The Georgian’s Magazine Page WEDNESDAY, it is the story of
the Rothschilds, masters of millions, and the effect of their power in Enrope.