Newspaper Page Text
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H-.r§
The Manicure
Lady
By WILLIAM F KIRK
“1
THINGS ain t spread out
in the world. declared
ven
the
Head Barber *‘J am netting
to he more and more of a Socialist every
day That old stiff that Juat went out
,« worth about a million dollars and he
hasn't Rave me a tip >dnee he has been
stopping at the hotel Tils two sons
are live wire*. but they make their own
nay In the world and It's Just as well
1 11 bet neither of them could Jimmy a
dollar out of pap*
-oh well, they’ll get 11 all when he
kirks off." said the Manicure Lady.
But It don’t look like he Is aver go
ng to do that little thing.' replied the
Head Barber. "The old wart Is as hard
to kill as an angle worm You can
break one of them into four pieces and
every part gets along and seems to he
able to take a little nourishment. Just
like a full-nixed worm No, 1 guess the
old chap will he here till he is around a
hundred, and by that time, the way the
boys are going, thev will be where they
don't need no inheritance
Very Funny.
"1 have often thought It w-as funny
myself. " said the Manicure Lady. “the
way some folks has everything they
want a nd then don't seem to want any
thing That sounds kind of mixed.
Oeorge but you know what 1 mean.
l>ook at my I’nele Frank, for instance
He is so mean. George, that he rolls
himself around the parlor In a rubber
A Romance oj Great Wealth and the Game
of Finance as Played by H
What
Has Gone Before.
-laying
it ked heavily the peace of
Ft
rope Nat
han Rothachild is disoon-
Id
find that Napoleon ha*
bu
rat forth
.111*1 nil i he bank-
f»T
s outpou
ring rif gold for national
dr
elopmen
in l-.'ngiand will be en-
tgr»» ml
The f»anker hasten* to
\Y
itarloo.
There are the English.
vO
n have g
laranterd to him thii'. the
p*u
ice of K*
rope Hhail he maintained
r r
un a hell
?ht above the field of bat-
tic
Rot bach
ild *»ees the whole of “
Bo
thuchikl
sec* that the wealth of
ihf
world 1
ch in London, his for the
lal
sing If i
*• ran Ire find on the
gr«
Mind wit
the news of the battle
Hr
IjurriM
t<> London, and next
m<
rning ap
peared on the Exchange
Th
a i night
he went to bed $10,#00
OOfl
richer.
He ven ye
ar* later a great banker
lef
Vienna
another Naples another
Pn
rls and a
not her London, and trav-
Heel to a
little old house in Jew*’
La
nr*. In
Frankfort-am-Main. It
WH
s a Hat!
ertng of the liouae of
Ro
h*ch ilrJ
I’erhapH some king was
ver
y hard
>re*aed for money "Lit-
Hr*
Jacob
oppose* Solomon * plan
to
marry <
harlotte off to the Duke
of
raunu*.
Hr- is tracked up by Frau
(III
iuln
N
ow Go
on With the Story.
THE FIVE FRANKFORTERS
A Nocclization oj the Successful Play of the
Same Name Nou) Running in New \ork.
By KATHRYN KEY
Copyright. 191k, by the New York Even
ing Journal Publishing Company.
TO-DAY’S INSTALLMENT.
There was a moment of absolute
tenseness while the aristocrats of
Xeustadt Castle walled for their
JewiMh bankers to make their way
into the seeming peace and real hos-
Mred chair so as not to wear out the | tillty of the quiet garden,
mgs Poor Wilfred knows that Frank Your true aristocrat, they say, is
hws all tha coin in the world, nearly. , indifferent to superiors, amiable to
and not * Ion* time «(to he hrecert un 1 equa)s and charmingly affable to in-
He for two hundred dollars to print a
volume of his poems It seems \N ilfred
was over in Boston and met one of them
ohtway publishers that will publish any
body's poetry If the poet pays for pub
lication In advance, and he thought he
luat had to have two hundred dollars to
was meted out to the Jews was to be
the pleasantness of the executioner
who asks if he may perform any ser
vice for you—and then with grave
politeness removes your head.
To this there was to he a great
gei out bis hook Father tried to tell exception in fa vor of < ’harlotte. w hose
h , w tha, no gn.«1 t.uhlmhar done huai dainty prettincas could sweep all he-
. , .v,« ka,- au « nn fore ^ in the ,«ocial world, even as
pass that way. hut the boy «t on , ^ 8 , lrmolin ,. al , barrie ,. y
getting the t*o hunflrefl ao he decided | ln hll chosen rcalm-Hlgh Finance
tn braes uncle for it v\ ilfred pnde* When the Jew ish invasion became
himaelf. George on the way he goes an accomplished fact. Duke Gustavus
about making s touch or asking any | rose with his tinfailing sureness of
kmd of « favor. He says that he plans manner to meet the occasion
it out careful like Napoleon used to plan My dear Baron.’’ he said, shaking
| hands with Solomon quite as one
his haitles
About a week before he went to see
human being greeting another. "I have
so often enjoyed your hospitality in
*bout thf iwn huntlrci he »rotc a lit- v , th[1 , , am fl ,.]|g ht p ( i to wel-
tie poem boosting his dear Uncle Frank
Thl* to how it went
•' ’Hffv Uncle Frank, to him 1 point with
pride
He is my uncle on my mother’s side
Like her. he ia so gentle and so kind.
So noble in his loving, so refined.
That all who know him think the work!
of him
knd love to gratify his every whim
His handsome face, beneath a snow-
white bead.
come you and your brother* to my
home. 1 am not quite sure—does
Your Highness already know- these
gentlemen ?”
A Calm Little Snub.
With the utmost simplicity the
brothers started to shake hands with
His Most Serene Highness, who rose
if« calm indifference to the proffered
greeting, and administered a calm
little snub in addition:
“Certainly—I' have had the pleas
ure. These gentlemen are so very
Reminds me of the Caesars that are j kind as to administer my small for
tune"—
I Solomon spoke suavely, and with
grave courtesy—perhaps he thought
dead.
Almighty Providence 1 always thank
Fog sparing through Vhe years m.v Uncle
* Frank.’
That's a pretty good boost for the un-
observed the Head Barber
Nqt Exact.
“It sounds all right if you don't know
the uncle.” said the Manicure Lady, “but
there ain't a line of truth in the poem
except that Frank is mother's brother.
He Is as much like my dear Ma as apple
•ack is like warm milk. Nobody never
gratified none of his whims without
getting paid for it. and they mostly had
to wait for their pay, too. And as far as
his.handsome face reminding anybody of
the dead Caesar*. ail I’ve got to say is
tf-at after the Taesara looked in the j lei titiK it*. I quite understand
glass they must have been glad to die bless** oblige."
“J guess Uncle Frank must have
been wise to the salve in Wilfred's poem,
because he ain’t no fool and knows down
in hla heart that he is a miserable old
skinflint Anyhow, he didn't make no
reply to the verses, and when Wilfred
went to get the two hundred he didn't
gei- nothing except the gate. Yes. in
deed. George, the money in this world
ain’t divided right If It was, l wouldn’t
be setting here broke the day after pay
to gloss over the dig.
"Not so small. Your Highness!, A
very agreeable”—
His Highness did not he.Htate to
cut this remark short:
"Ah. yes. I do not keep track—but
I suppose money has a way of accu
mulating in the course of centuries.’•
Carl, whose family history went
Imck so far as a father in a coin
shop, longed to stare insolently
through his newly acquired quisling-
glass at this aristociat wh'*,,; fa.t.-
ily and fort at.might be reckoned
in terms , f centuries.
"It need :ic t always take centu
ries,” said Solomon rashlv. strong in
the pride of accomplishment.
"No." answered the Prince coldly.
’That depends on the method **f col-
No-
Curses!
Josephus Daniels has four boys
who were extremely reluctant to leave
their home and playmates down in
RaleifTi when the time came for
rhc4r father to become Secretary of
Rut he did understand "Nob!
Oblige! ’’
For even when Joining the Duke
in forced congratulations on the honor
Just received from Vienna, he man
aged to convey another barbed «*ting
by remarking that "honors that are
sought after can hardly be deserved”;
while poor, friendly, simple Amschel
found himself stranded high and drv
in the midst of a, to him, very charm
ing conversation, while the Prince and
Princess were conducted to thexcastle
with due ceremony by Mine. St.
Georges and Count Fehrenberg* to
rid themselves of the stains of travel.
And the parting insult was tangibly
conveyed -the Prince and Princess
found the stains of travel less ob
noxious than the society in which
they were for the time compelled to
mingle
While Jacob stood proudly aloof
the Navy. However, they kept back from the undeserved slights which
fhp tears until it came to parting were being put upon his rash uncles,
with an old colored nurse who had little Charlotte was faring far bet
taken care of them since the eldest ter. She was even prettier than
w-a| horn and who felt that ahe wa« I Gustavus’ most glowing recollection
too* old to come along. The four of her. and she quite won Evelyn’s
>ottogster> threw their arms around approval as she stood like a very rose
her and it was a sobby occasion in her white taffeta gown, draped
Jonathan Daniels, aged 11. was the by a soft green-gauze scarf, while her
first to recover h1« speech Said he: pretty girlish face was framed in a
Doggone Woodrow Wilson, any great white bonnet covered in misty
how!” rose-colored plumes. But suddenly
A stroll through the park on the momentous morning that was to determine whether or no this was to be his home for many years.
Evelyn’s heart flamed, for Gustavus
was complimenting the little Vien
nese with an unusual show of ani
mated interest.
"Baroness, may 1 say that your
title of nobility suits you as well
as your charming toilet."
"And is just as new," laughed
Charlotte gayly.
“But what Is new can he fitting ”
"Is irony a new accomplishment of
yours and do you think it fitting for
your highness?”
Evelyn marveled surely, this lit
tle Jewess was no older than she
herself was. but she would never dare
answer Gustavus with this saucy in
difference. even supposing that her
wits were nimble enough to compass
the merry quips that darted so easily
from curving lips aided by flashing
eyes.
“Compliments may sometimes be
sincere.” said the duke.
Charlotte answered with a little
ehallenge. "I think that depends on
who pays them."
’On the contrary—to whom they
are paid." There was a deeper note
in Gustavus’ voice.
Evelyn had been long enough ig
nored She plucked a glowing red
rose from the fountain—the flower
of all in the world most unlike her
own demure little self and threw it
with gay abandon at her cousin.
“You are like me. baroness—I never
know when my cousin is serious or
joking."
"Well." said Gustavus. "very few
things deserve serious attention—but
charming ladies do! And I should
like now to show the baroness our
old i>ark because I know it is beau
tiful. too- and as like delights like. I
know it will please her."
Do You Care to Come?
Gustavus to ramble through the
park with this pretty girl! In sooth
and indeed Kvelyn would go too! “Do
you rare tit come?" said she. rising.
"Yes. indeed' Ah, your highness,
how you must love your old home,"
His highness’ love for his beauti
ful home was to he put to the test in
a wa v of which he little dreametl;
and that test was coming soon—very
soon.
Hut he answered now with gal
lant ry and some emotion:
"1 do. I am quite serious in my
love- for my old home."
Whereupon, with a pretty maid on
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cither arm. Gustavus started off for a
little stroll through his park on the
momentous morning that was to de
termine whether this was to be
his home for many more years.
Stillness reigned in the garden of
the broken-armed Cupid for a mo
ment after Charlotte left it gallantly
escorted by the reigning prince—then
a hitter laugh marred the silence, and
Jacob scornfully placed his bell-
topped silk hat on his head.
With solemn precision Fits uncles
followed his example. There was no
one present before whom they need
stand uncovered—the Frankfort hank
ers were alone!
At last Amschel spoke with injured
petulance.
"Why do they all go away and
leave us? Ah. perhaps Charlotte in
terests the duke more than we do.”
“Which is quite natural.” answered
the pleased father.
“And when they are natural, these
people ignore us.” said Nathan.
Amschel continued to voice his
complaint.
"I have a feeling all the time that
their words are not as polite as they
sound. Is that my imagination, or do
any of you feel that, too?”
That Is Their Game.
“Of coarse, we feel it,” said Na
than. "And it annoys me to feel—
annoyed!”
Solomon the wise spoke:
"But that is their game—to have
us at a disadvantage. Why do you
think we were invited here?”
“We were invited to lunch.” said
Amschel. "Do you know 1 never could
come here in a friendly way—not to
drop in casually—never!”
Jacob broke his silence.
Ah. how I dislike being here at
all, and the business we have come
for—rny grandmother ia right in what
she feels, and she has stayed at
home. '
"Indeed?” asked Solomon sarcas
tically. "Well, you are not a child to
hang on to her apron-strings—thougn
you have not our age or experience.”
"We are all having an unpleasant
experience. Whatever I am. I wish I
had not come,” began Jacob.
Who knows what breach might
have come in the family council of the
hankers who stood together, never
forgetting their father's admonition,
that although each separate twig
might be weak, a bundle of faggots
might scarcely be excelled in strength.
But their social ostracism and mar
tyrdom ended at this juncture.
The situation had weighed heavily
on Fehrenberg’s consciousness, sin- *
it was. after all, due entirely to lain.,
so he escaped from the Prince of
Klausthal-Agorda with a prompti
tude with which one does not often
leave even an abdicating monarco.
and came back to do the honors of
Neustadt for the benefit of his in
vited guests.
One sad little incident threatened
to mar the situation beyond even his
diplomatic powers.
"May 1 show you our collection of
old cpins?” asked he. and then a wave
of horrified recollection swept over
him—these men were the sons of a
little old Jew of Frankfort who had
laid the foundations of the family for
tune in an old coin shop.
"I should say old arms, which might
interest you.”
And so peace was restored, and the
garden left tenantless, as a charm
ing place for the duke and Charlotte,
who returned just then from the tour
of the park.
Poor little Evelyn had been dis
patched by her kingly cousin to look
after their cousin, the Princes of
Klausthal-Agonla -*nd even when a.
king is also one’s cousin it is wise
to obey his royal mandate, especially
when one can easily trace the issu
ance thereof to a desire to he alone
with a pretty rival.
“1 have not tired you?” asked Gus
tavus with politeness in which there
was just a trace of tenderness. Ten
derness was an ingredient which he
well knew 7 how to mingle in his con
versation with a pretty woman.
Charlotte answered with the sweet
simplicity which would some day
make her a dear old lady quite like
grannie.
“T am not so easily tired. Ah. your
highness, 1 like the old trees in the
park so much better than these
trimmed hedges—they are very won
derful.”
"Because they are more natural.
And 1 think simplicity should appeal
to you.”
"Don’t you love nature?" When a
woman is beginning to feel an inter
est in a charming man she likes to
assure herself that he likes nature,
flowers and children the things dear
to her woman-heart.
“Yes. But to be perfectly honest, I
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.
GET A BOOK.
1 \KAK MISS FAIRFAX
•*—' Can you tell ine of any new
games they pla\ at parties, and
how they are played? Some In which •
there will be very Utile kissing, if
any. I do not favor these kissing
games, and therefore am in trou
ble. as there Is to be a party at my
home within a short time and l do
not know what games to play, as
they know all about the old ones.
The list you give does not include ana
gram*. a very fascinating and wit-de
veloping pastime Please omit the kiss
ing games. Children under ten have
that yrivilege. but it is not the best
tas for any one older You will find
a complete list of suitable games on
any book counter.
PAY AT THE TIME. *
rxF.AR MISS FAIRFAX:
1 was introduced to a young
lady one night, and she handed me
a ticket for a dance that her club
was giving.
After she left some of my hoy
friends said I should have paid for
the ticket immediately Were they
right, or 1. in thinking that 1 should
pay for the ticket the next time I
meet her? STUPID.
It is not a matter of importance. The
best way is to pay at the time. It puts
a man in a better light and m.ghi.save
Small Courtesies
By MRS. FRANK LEARNED.
Author of “The Etiquette of New York To-day.’
would rather look at a pretty .woman
—like you.” This last was very low.
hut Charlotte’s small pink ears were
attuned to catch it—“than a land
scape."
Always Back to Women.
Charlotte laughed. "Whatever sub
ject we choose, you always bring it
round to woman.”
The old gray stone seat where Eve
lyn had lingered a little while ago
was now the background for Char
lotte’^ newer charms. As the girl lifted
her softly tinted face in unconscious
eagerness this clever trifier in the
butterfly world of pretty women came
closer. What a fascinating little
witch she was, he thought. Just then
Charlotte was not thinking; she was
only feeling vaguely, in disturbed
fashion, a gentle agitation quite new
to her.
“Woman!” The duke’s voice
thrilled as he spoke the magic word.
“Woman! The beginning and end of
all. If a man of my age were to talk
to you of anything hut yourself he
would be a hypocrite.”
The duke haa been toying with the
great red rose that Evelyn had flung
him. Now, with easy familiarity, he
brushed it across the girl’s white
throat, her delicately molded chin and
brought it to rest at last on her
curving lips. One does not lightly
reprimand a reigning prince. The girl
spoke very gently:
“Practice a little hypocrisy,
please.”
Pretty Speeches.
“No. You prefer me to be natural,
and I want to be what you wish.”
“Perhaps pretty speeches are nat
ural to you, but I am not used to
them.” She looked at the duke with
gentle, provoking dignity.
“How can that be. if you listen to
what people say to von?”
“At home they talk very different
ly ”
“Business always?” laughed the
duke.
“No. Yesterday 1 talked about
music with my Cousin Jacob. He is a
friend of the composer Rossini. Oh.
1 am very much interested!”
“In your cousin or his conversa
tion?” asked the duke, banteringly.
Charlotte considered for a moment.
‘‘Well, in both; for. curiously enough,
we had never met before.”
"Shall we talk about music?”
asked the Duke, impatient of the dis
cussion of Cousin Jacob or any other
masculine intruder. “I am very fond
of music, and I prefer the sound of
your voice to any that I have heard.”
The girl hesitated a moment; then
rose and walked to the fountain of
Cupid. She sank in evident agitation
on its stone edge. and. with a quiz
zically tender smile, Duke Gustavus
of Taunus knelt on the coping at her
side.
"Does your reflection please you as
much as It does me, for then all your
reflections will be fair . indeed ?” h-*
said; and, taking the slender hand fn
his own steel grasp, he kissed it just
where curving arm sloped to dimpled
wriMt.
Flushing, paling. Charlotte raised
her innocent young face to the fasci
nating worldly wise one so close to
hers, and at this particular psycho
logical moment Fehrenberg brought
his tour of the castle grounds to a
close!
Behold the Fates.
The Count smiled in serenely ac
customed amusement at this tablea
of which his» sovereign was a part
Solomon joyously beheld the Fai.'s
preparing to grant his dearest de-
wire. The brothers took .heart of
grace from the idyllic scene; but
Jacob’s mein was as somber as his
black coat. With his heart burning
it’s telltale message and his eyes for
all, to s*ee, he stood in the shadow of
the high old hedge, and in the gloom
of the feeling he must never quite
acknowledge even to his own yearn
ing soul.
He must say something. That he
wdJL knew, hut what? He cudgelled
a throbbing brain; then at last, “a
beautiful collection,” he murmured.
"And valuable. Of great value.”
said the Italian representative Carl,
in tones of his Neapolitan art train
ing.
"1 wonder if they have forgotten
lunch!" Was Amsehel’s comment.
The Duke became aware of his
duties* as* host, and of a little chance
to air his new knowledge.
"You are interested in art. all art?”
he said to the cousin who had in
truded on his tete-a-tete for one mo
ment.
"How can one help it?" answered
Jacob. "The expression of the beau
tiful—”
"And especially in music, I under
stand.”
“Perhaps—yes. But how could you
guess that?”
“Your cousin told me." -
"Did she?" asked Jacob. So that
first conversation meant no more to
her than this. She could fell it in
an idle- moment to the rule of Neu
stadt. to «the man to whom she was to
be sold in a marriage that would per
haps, after all, riot be a loveless one.
Jacob knew he should unselfishly re
joice, hut his heart refused to give
over its dull aching.
The moment svemed to Solomon t*o
be a most propltiohs one.
"If Your Highness has a few min
utes. might we not use them for *
discussion of our business?”
"Certainly. But the Baroness?”
hiiestioaed Gustavus.
“May I-—” asked Fehrenberg easily.
This daughter of the Jewish banker
was a very lovely young woman.
"If we are to talk of my affairs. 1
cannot very well spare Count Fehren
berg.” said the Duke, conscious that
Pehfehhe'rg’s knowledge of affairs in
the Duchy was far more extensiv
than his own.
To Be Continued To-morrow.
Those Bulgarian
Colors
old
water com-
i:
S UFFICIENT, attention is not
given to. the little everyday
courtesies, the trifles which
help to smooth the way and help to
win the good w’ill of others.
A pleasant hew. a cordial greet
ing. a word of thanks expressed at
the right moment, a friendly clasp
of the hand, these are not difficult
things, yet how often they are neg
lected.
An important small courtesy is
the cultivation of a memory for faces
and names, to he able to "place”
people, as the saying is. to remem
ber just where one has met them
and with what occasion or special
event they are associated. To
speak immediately of something in
connection with the last meeting, or
of something personal in order to
show interest, is sure to give pleas
ure.
A very necessary courtesy is to put
others at ease always. If one greets
an acquaintance whom he has not
met for a long time it is polite to
say. "1 hope you remember me. T
and Mrs. *’ It is neither
courteous nor well-bred to try to
puzzle an acquaintance as to ones
identity or to say blandly. “Don’t
you remember me?” or something
equally indefinite, while the troubled
acquaintance searches her mind and
is ill at ease from sheer forgetful
ness. A quick reminder at once as
to one’s name is obligatory and
opens the way to conversation.
Many persons are dilatory about
replying io invitations to luncheons,
card parties or dinners. although
these require answers within 24
horn's at least, as a hcAsiess wishes
and to have time to fill places of
those who can not come. It is a small
courtesy and at the same time a mark
of true friendliness and obligingness
for a friend to accept with cordiality
when asked at the last moment to
fill a vacancy.
In home life the small, sweet cour
tesies need to Ik* practiced. We must
Ire polite to the members of our
household and not save manners for
guests only. Too much is taken for
granted in the home circle. Relation
ship does not entitle anyone to make
rude, sarcastic, critical speeches. If
one has to call attention to an error
or correct a fault it may be done gen
tly. When advice has to he given it
is best to give it privately.
Up-to-Date
Jokes
“It’s no use talking." remarked
Banks, dejectedly. “It’s impossible
to make a woman understand even
the first principles of finance.”
"What’s the matter now?” inquired
Henderson.
"Matter!” ejaculated the disgusted
Banks. “Why, when I was away yes
terday the baby swallowed a dime.
And what does my wife, do hut call in
a doctor and pay him five dollars for
getting that coin hack.”
Clergyman (indignantly)—Y'ou say
you haven't anything to he thankful
for? Why, look at your neighbor
Hayes; he has just lost his wife by
influenza.
Burke—But that don’t do me any
good; 1 ain't Hayes.
Mrs. Gabbleigh (nudging her hus
band. who is snoring)—William, you'd
make less noise if you kept your
mouth shut.
Husband (only half awake)—Sod
you.
Tourist (to native) What is the
object of greatest interest in your
town, sir?
Native—Well, I should say Old Sol
omons, the money lender, is!
4 4 f H AI> to put
I presses on George’s head when
* it qame home, confessed the
president of the club. “He'took it awful
ly hard. ” ' - . <
“Tom nearly had apoplexy,” put Tn
the blonde secretary, gleefully. "I never
knew before that a human man could
turn so absolutely purple!” ‘
"1 Just took mine out of the box to
w f ear to this meetin,” said a mere mem
ber. "Walter when he saw it rushed
wildly from the house. If I didn’t
know that he always calms down after
an unsettling shock I should really he ,
disturbed and wonder whether he ever
would come back.”
"They always act that way over any- *
thing new.” said another member. “Ed
gar behaved just the same over the
full skirt and then over the skimpy
one. over the collar that runs up to
the ends of your eyebrow’s and over
the Dutch tieck! There is no use pay
ing any attention to them!”
The door slammed just then and an- «
other member almost fell info .the room.
She wore on her head a concoction
that resembled the famous explosion in
a jmint factory
”l'm late!" she gasped. “I thought
at first that William had a stroke of
paralysis, but when he came to and I
found it was only my new spring hat
I came away and left him, horrid thing!”
"I know just how you feel,” said the
blonde secretary. "Now this spring hat
of mine is really mild compared with
some of the others you see—It hiis only
purple and orange and pink -on it—
yet you wouldn’t believe the time I had
W’ith Tom! J*
“After my first tour of the shops I
knew I should have to educate him
very carefully to the new Bulgarian
color scheme of life 1 took to lead
ing him by shop window’s and point
ing out the loudest examples. After
he ceased to halt like a stricken deer
with shudders running thrdhgh his
frame at sight of a cerisfe strafc w’ith
a Washington ntfonument in Syellow run
up one side of it. and could View;, with
out alarm a grass-gren canoe, with a .
masthead Of violet crimson tipped with
orange, 1 concluded that the time was
at last ripe -to lead him to; the theat4r,
“We got there early, so we could
the audience gather. Tom sat bofttip- *'
right, looking as if he had been stuo^r. *
when there floated flown the aislfe r a^'
dream of a hat in tho^e wonderful flama
color plumes with a bit of palest; |av«
ender on the brim.
“He groaned aloud. ’ ‘ '
” 'Why. that's Mrs. .Tippa!' 1 said.
‘They live in the big house at the end
of our block, dearest. She must have
brought her hat front Paris.’
Awful! Awful!
” ‘She got that in a millinery shop
attached to an insane asylum* Tom
growled. ,
“A minute later I directed his at
tention to the woman who was tak
ing a seat just in front of us. She had
on a perfect beauty of a hat—a pur
ple straw with roses shaded from pale
green through pink and yellow and
blue—a work of art, my dear—and I
told him that her husband’s income
was $100,000 a year and that she once
invited me to tea.
“If he’s got all that money.’ said
Tom feebly, ‘w’hy doesn’t he buy his
poor wife a real hat instead of having
her wear one made up of scraps from
the leftovers of fifteen years? If you
had to wear a hat like that—’ Then
he stopped and stared.
“Three girls had come in together
and one of them wore a hat of green
and lavender, the second w r ore one pf
pink and yellow and the third wore a
combination of all the other colors that
were left.
“ ‘Pity me!’ Tom moaned and beat
his hands together. ‘What is this coun.
try coming to? Oh, Sadie, take me
home, take me ho-o-me!’
"I really felt sorry for him at the '
end of the play when all those women
put on their hats simultaneously and
the lights were turned. I took him
home a saddened and suffering man.
Then I sprung my new hat on him next
day.
“He didn't say anything; He just
moaned feebly. Before he caught his
breath I instructed him to thank his
stars that it wasn’t any worse. You've
seen what women can do in the line
of hats this year,’ I told him. so re
joice that I was as merciful as this!
I could have done lots meaner things
than get purple, orange and pink" He s
beginning to wear that resigned look
now!” 'i
“They needn’t talk!’ grimly added
the woman with the paint factory ex
plosion. “They only have to look at.
Lhe things—we have to do that and
wear ’em, too!”
Painful, Trying Times
No Thought for Father.
“Boo-hoo, hoo-hoo-w’ow!"
"Some one is in distress,” I
thought.
“Boo-hoo, hoo-hoo. boo-h-o-o!”
1 hurried forward to the scene of
the catastrophe and was touched to
find little Archie crying over the mis
fortune of his father, who had slip
ped on a banana.
"Good little hoy.” 1 said, patting
Archie on the back. Tm so glad you
didn't laugh, like other little boys
would have done, when your father
fell down and hurt himself. Does it
make you feel so had?”
“Y-es. Boo-W’oo-hoo!”
“Try to stop crying. Archie." 1 said
sympathetically. "He isn't badly
hurt."
"No. and 1 wish he was." said Ar
chie. with a fierce look. “It was my
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