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Copyright, 1918, by tho Star Company. Great Britain tlighi* Reserved.
7
The Giraffes That Spindle Up Into a Tower, the
Astonishing Aspect of Elephants, the Terrifying
Policemen and the Beautiful Tomato Ladies
wife or none! But 1 do not expect
to uwrry. I am twenty-eight and
have not cared for marriage.
Bachelor freedom suffices me.
One reason I resolved never to
whisper in your ear, I save most
of it.
I’m a good business man. I
don’t spend my money on flash
jewelry, nor on wine and song and
women. 1 am building with my
savings a castle on Lake Como, in
my native Italy, and there my l^ady
of Lyons will be between book
covers.
A cane? Oh, yes. T need it to
keep people away when they press
too close, especially the women.
are melancholy. 1'eople like to
look at midgets. They don’t at
dwarfs. That's the reason mid
gets get rich. They're a cheerful
sight.
The world looks all right to me
for big clumsy folk like you, just
as Texas would be a great State
for elephants. They would have
so much room to turn around in it.
What 1 would like would be to
have an island about as big as
Coney, build a lot of deceut sized
Baron Guiseppe Paucci, the Tiniest Man in the World.
By Baron GUISEPPE PAUCCI
I AM the smallest man in the
world. 1 am 23 inches high
and I weigh 17 pounds. Tom
Thumb wasn’t a marker. He wa3
30 inches high.
One or two inches to you or
dinary people who are all built
around the same size don’t make
much difference.
The world was built for your
eyes. But to me, who have less
than two feet, it is a very different
looking place indeed. How would
•; elephant look to you if it was
big as three elephants piled one
another, or a giraffe as tall as
hrec giraffes, each standing on
one another’s head? Or, better
sill, imagine yourself a five-foot
1 person walking around in a world
in which everybody is eighteen feet
high.
The fore-shortening of things is
extraordinary. This picture you
see of me standing beside the
giraffe shows exactly how a
Are You
FAT?
I Was
ONCE.
I Reduced
i
giraffe looks to me. One of the
clever photographers of this news
paper took the picture through my
eyes. And I’ll bet you never could
guess in twenty years how it was
done. It is a real photograph all
right.
Imagine yourself, a medium-sized
person, in a world full of elephants.
It is the same way with us midgets.
Our greatest fear is that you •ele
phantine humans will step on us
or crush us to death in a crowd.
Otherwise our general feeling to
ward you is pity. Pity because you
all lotfk alike. You are ordinary
everyday individuals. You are
monotonous. We are unusual. You
walk the streets and nobody looks
at you, nobody notices you. Every
body looks at us. We are distinc
tive. You are the common nouns
and we the proper nouns of hu
manity.
To us you look as the elephant
looks to you, coarse and clumsy.
Your ears are enormous. Your eyes
like moons. Your teeth remind me
of the tombstones in a graveyard.
They are so large. Some of them
look like neglected tombstones, too.
There is only one exception to
what I have said of you big ordi
nary creatures. They are the
women. I like women who are
round and cushiony, and who have
full necks. I admire them, too,
with high color.
The woman who Is most like a
tomato is the most beautiful woman
to me. If I ever marry I shall
not wed a midget. A full-sized
“To midgets you look as ele>
phants look to you, course
and clumsy. Your ears are
enormous. Your eyes are
like moons. Your teeth re
mind me of tombstones.”
marry is that women are so vain.
Don’t I see it? They crowd about
me and if I lean toward one and
kiss her cheek and tell her I ad
mire her she nearly faints with joy
and pride. She believes me, the
featherhead! I generally pick out
the ugly ones, but that makes no
difference. They are quite over
whelmed with joy and from that
minute think they’re the most fas
cinating women on earth. How
could I marry such a woman? Her
head would be turned by the next
artist she nret at a side show and
if he happened to be Eddie the
Skeleton, or Jim the Giant, or the
Turkish Fakir, who cries “Allah!”
when he eats hot coals, what could
I do?
But there’s compensation for be
ing a midget—lots of it. People
come to see us and pay to see us.
Who shall pay to see you who
read what I’ve written? No one.
Not a nickel. But they pay so
much to see me that I receive a
salary of $300 a week, and. lift me
up on your shoulder so that I can
‘I admire women who are round and cushiony. A
full sized wife or none, for me.”
So many of them want to take me
up as they would a baby and kiss
me. When I was in Paris I sat on my
impresario’s knee, and a strange
woman came up and swung me off
his knee and said, “You dear little
darling! Bless’m’s precious ’ittle
heart!” I had to remember I was
a gentleman, not to slap her fool
ish mouth, though she was a
Countess. Why can’t they realize
that I’m twenty-eight years old?
One thing I want you to under
stand, you big people are so dull!.
That is the difference between a
midget and a dwarf. The midget
is perfectly formed, but is small.
I’m a midget. The dwarf has some
thing wrong, generally a hump.
Midgets are clever. Dwarfs are
dull. Midgets are cheerful. Dwarfs
houses, gather lady and
gentlemen midgets about
me and be their king, as
Lebaudy wanted to be tne
Emperor of Sahara. Great
dream, isn’t it?
Cigarettes ? Yes, I
smoke ’em, but mostly as
an excuse to not answer
when people ask silly
questions. Don’t smile
Ahat superior smile at your
superiors. 1 dare you to
produce one of your hu
man elephants that’s per
fectly formed. Bring him
on, I’ll wager my castle in
Como. that. I’ve got the
money in bank to build,
that his figure hasn’t the
symmetry of mine.
Mind you, a midget never gets
drunk. Ordinary men do. I leave
it to you which is the wiser.
‘Thi» picture of me standing beside a giraffe shows exactly
how the giraffe looks to me.”
1 tvas Fat, Uncomfortable. Looked Old. Felt
•Miserable, suffered with Rheumatism, Asthma,
Neuralgia. When I worked or walked, I puffed
like a Porpoise. I took every advertised medicine
1 could find. I Starved, Sweated, Exercised, Doc
tored and changed climate, but I ruined my diges
tion, felt like an invalid, but steadily gained
weight. There was not a single plan or drug that
I heard of that I did not try. I failed to reduce NO.
my weight. I dropped society, as I did not care to
be the butt of all the jokes. It was embarrassing
to have my friend* tell me I was getting Stout, as
no one knew it better than myself.
SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE
I began to study the cause of FAT. When I
fnseovered the cause I found the remedy. The
French method gave me an insight. I improved
on that. Removed the objections! features, added
more pleasant ones, aDd then I tried m>y plan on
myself for a week. It worked like Magic. I could
have
SCREAMED WITH JOY
®t. the end of the first week when the scales told
*ne I had lost te'n pounds by my simple, easy,
harmless, Drugless Method. It was a pleasure
then to continue until I regained my normal self
in size. I feel fifteen years younger. I look Of
ten years younger. My Double Chin has entirely
disappeared. I can walk or work now. I can
climb a mountain. I am normal in size. I can
weigh just what I want to weigh. I am master <*f
hiv own body now. J did not starve, but ate all I
wanted to. I did not take Sweat Baths. I did
not Drug. I used no Electricity, or harmful ex
ercises, hut I found the Simple, Sane, Common
N nsr WAY of reducing my weight and I applied
't 1 have tried it on others. My Doctor says I
;"u a perfect picture of health now. I am no
jonuer ailing. I am now a happy, healthy woman.
; x •' 1 am, going to help others to be happy. I
’ written a book on the subject. If you are
1 want you to have it. It will tell you all
•'" it my Harmless, Drnglea^ Method. To all who
no their name and address I mail it V REE.
,M ong a s the (^resent supply lasts. It will save
'•' 1 Money, Save you from Harmful Drug*?. .Save
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to send it so that you can quickly learn how to
v uoe \ouiself and be as hapjiy as I am. Write
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;n this paper.
HATTIE BIEL, 975 Barclay, Denver, Colo.
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FOUR SIMPLE DESIGNS EASILY MADE AT
9638.—LADY’S HOUSE OB material for a" 36-inch size.
HOME DRESS.
HITE ratine trimmed with pique
embroidered with black dots
is here shown.
pattern is cut in six sizes—32,
38, 40 and *2 inches bust meas-
It requires 6 yards of 36-inch
HOME—10 Cents Each.
NO. 9613.—CHILD’S DKESS, WITH
NO. 9337.—DRESS WITH PEPLDM LONG OR SHORT SLEEVE.
BLOUSE FOR MISSES AND Brown and white striped galatea,
SMALL WOMEN, with brown for collar, cuffs and belt,is
The pattern is cut in five sizes—14, here shown. The design is equally
15, 10, 17 and IS years. It requires appropriate for gingham, chambray.
4% yards of 44-inch material for a lawn, dimity, seersucker, crepe, challie,
16-year size. linen or linene.
The pattern Is cut in four sizes—2,
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NO. 9560.—A CHARMING NEGLIGEE.
The skirt is cut high above the
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The pattern is cut in three sizes—
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To obtain any of these desirable
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©
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HOW THE WORLD LOOKS
TO THE LITTLE5T MAN