Newspaper Page Text
TTEARST’R SUNDAY AMERICAN, ATLANTA, CA., RTJNDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1013.
Has It Happened to You?
By T. E. POWERS, the Famous Cartoonist
7 E
flow to Get
30-Cent E^s
By W, J. Lamptoiv,
Copyright, 1918, hr th« Star Oonguy,
Ormt Britain Bight* Beserrad.
UNDERSTAND," said a
man who seemed to be a
knowledglous sort of
person, "that there are 700,000
members of the well-known
Housewives' League, all females,
and all demanding eggs at thirty
seats a dozen, or bust. Well, it
looks,considerably like bust If they
depend upon the present source of
•upply, because the hatchways of
the nation do not seem to show a
capacity to discharge eggs in suf-
ficent quantities to maintain the
price at thirty cents.
"But there is a way out of the
difficulty, and It is up to the league
ladies to take that way. Listen:
"There are, as I have said,
700,000 women in the league, and,
to Judge by their demonstrations
and other activities, all fully alive
and right on their Job. Now let
these ladles each and individually
procure half a dozen hens of ap
proved laying qualities and put
them to work. That will mean
that there are 4,200,000 hens busily
occupied In supplying the demands
of the league for their own indi
vidual home consumption, regard
less of grocers, commission men
and poultry producers.
“Pour million two hundred thou
sand hens will, or should, lay
700,000 dozen eggs every three days
—some poultry advertisements say
they will do even better than that
—and, If, say, 1,600,000 dozen eggs
a week, counting Sundays, thrown
Into the laps of league consumers,
don’t bring down prices with a dull
thud, then we might as well throw
up our hands and let the injunction
against the low cost of living be
come permanent.
"Of course, if these actlre and
en*rgetlc women think that half a
dozen hens apiece are too few to
engage their serious attention, let
them make the number an even
dozen and then we will have
3,000,000 dozen eggs a week knock
ing the prices down, nnd the next
thing we know the league ladies
will be having egga to sell. In
which event, will they let them go
to their less fortunate sisters, not
members of the league, at thirty
cents a dozen or hold them for tin
prevailing market price, which Is so
high that one might conclude that
hens build their nests in the tallest
trees.
'"Which produces complications,
ethical and economical, so far be
yond me that I respectfully refer
them to the Bureau of Municipal
Research, the Association for the
Amelioration of the Condition ol
Housekeepers, the Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Consum
ers, or to any other organization
which feels Itself equal to the oc
casion. Be that as It may be, 11
makes eggs look like thirty, centi
to the league ladies, anyhow."
Something Suburbanites
The Care of the Furnace.
Copyright, 1913, by the Star Company. Greet' Britain Rights Reaereed.
T T Is a fact that, barring the local time-table, the hot-air furnace Is the
most absurd and misunderstood piece of mechanism In the suburbs.
There is hardly a suburbanite that has a kind word or pleasant
thought for this iron octopus, and It sticketh like a brother, no matter
how much one tries to shake It. It Is practically the only thing In the
suburbs that does not require quinine when it shakes.
As everybody knows, there are two kinds of furnaces, hot and cold.
The latter are very popular In the Summertime for storing rubber boots,
fur caps, toys, Christmas-tree ornaments and other debris.
Of course, as one handles the furnace year by year it becomes better
understood, and our language in connection with It becomes more and
more purified and fit for the home. Therefore, Inasmuch as we have
wrestled catch-as-catch-can, back-hold, collar-and-elbow and Graeco-Ro
man, with all kinds of furnaces of varied dispositions and tempers, it Is
our Intention to Instruct the less experienced on how to make light of
what appears to be a heavy subject.
There has been a great deal of discussion as to how the handle oi
the shaker should be held. It must be borne in mind that it should be
gripped tightly with the hand, palm facing inward. If you are right
handed shake to and fro. Left-handed persons should shake fro and to.
The elbow should be held at an angle of about forty-five degrees, so that,
upon receding, it will surely strike the soft side of the ash-barrel stand
ing nearby.
By working the handle Incessantly you will discover that the bottom
of your furnace has accumulated a good lot of stuff that takes all the fun
for the small boy out of the Icy walk.
The ashes in the bottom of the furnace should not be taken out until
it is noticed that the big iron door is slightly bulged out. These ashes
should be shovelled into a wooden ash-barrel, which should have a few
nails sticking out Inside near the top. so that when you roll It out for
tne ashman to confiscate you can hang a few of your fingers on the nails.
The big clinkers which can be pried from the stomach of your furnace
should be set outdoors to cool off, painted white, and then exhibited to
your friends as coral.
The furnace should always be in the cellar. The pipes should be
hung low enough to permit your head to locate them In the dark Thl.
is absolutely essential. There should be no matches kept in the cellar,
for Should a suburbanite accidentally catch sight of one when starting
the furnace the shock might prove detrimental.
Before putting paper and wood into the furnace preparatory to light,
ing it be sure that the furnace is empty,'as the womenfolk have a habit of
putting discarded corsets, undarnable hosiery, old trousers and other
bric-a-brac into the furnace for safe keeping until the ragman makes hi.
social call
.. ' . „.hpn starting the furnace. Scientific Jour-
Never use damp paper when star. .
, „ , , Congressional Records are about the
ha's, prohibition newspapers ana i-ongi
« lic<w i fnr this purpose. Ola wardrobes,
dryest literature that can be used for mis pu p
. , Qn d your mother-in-law a furniture makes
antique beadsteads, trunks ^ ou
exceileni kindling
THE MORNING SMILE
VVEX JONES Editor
—
Hasn’t
—
a
Notch
in It.
Vol. IV.
Atlanta, Ga., Sunday, December 7, 1013.
No. 52.
How to Farm
The Smile’s Answer to Popular
Demand for Directions Back
to the Soil.
Farming is a wonderful career,
and by following these instructions
you can not fail to become as big
a farmer as ever tried to milk a
cow on the wrong side or feed hay
to pigs. Farming can best be
summed up in the following pas
sionate poem, which was not writ
ten by Browning.
“A Son of Toil and a ton of soil
With a mortgage big to pay—
No time to shirk, but a chance to
work
Full eighteen hours a day!”
How to Become a Farmer.
First collect your farm. The
following list of necessities will
help you:
Ten acres of land.
One cottage.
One large barn.
One cow.
One horse.
One assorted lot fowl.
0ne P ig - ... i
One hoe, shovel, pick, rake and
axe.
One well.
Water for same.
Having collected the above, take
hem out in the country. If you
ire fortunate you can secure the
land at the same time you buy the
farm.
For about $300 you can buy
mough lumber to build a pig pen.
Place this out behind the bam, as
it affords a nice long walk when
ever you happen to think to feed
said pig.
After you have healed your
broken ribs, acquired while learn
ing to milk, skim the same (milk,
not ribs) and sell skimmed milk
to the city contractors. It is gross
Moving Picture Man (to Respectful
Hearse)—No need to remove yer ’at. It’s
Stranger Saluting the
■ I i ril fer the film.
breach of etiqdette to leave any
cream on the milk you sell. Save
the cream, put it in a hot water
bottle, tie it to your horse’s tail,
letting it hang just where it will
tickle his heels. Turn her out to
run madly over the farm, and In
half an hour the hot water bottle
■will be filled with fresh butter.
THE GARDEN—■lemember, a
garden saves lot of money. Many
a seed merchant would fail were it
not for gardens. Begin your plant
ing early.
Here are a few rules for plant
ing:
CABBAGES — Bury the heads
about one foot deep. A pound or
so of corned beef planted with each
will improve the flavor.
PEAS—Plant about one can of
peas to a square yard. Stick the
labels from the cans at the end of
ous brands you have planted.
DO YOU KNOW THAT-
Columbus was passionately
fond of strawberries? [Note—
We didn’t know this ourselves,
but If Columbus didn’t like straw
berries he was a big chump.—Ed.]
Cleopatra used to put pearls In
her drinks, but the modern man
is lucky if the tapster doesn’t
put a rubber olive In his cock
tail?
Squab raising for profit is all
right, If it s for your own profit?
IN THE SMILE’S
LETTER BOX
VERY, VERY SAD.
TO THE EDITOR—I have a
bad cold and It makes me
cough. When 1 cought It makes
me oough more, and when I
cough more It makes me cough
more again, and when I cough
more again It makes me cough
more again yet TOM FRENCH.
If you are
subject to cough.
Ing epelie, don’1
spell.—Ed.
ETHICAL.
TO THE EDITOR—Is It wrens
to steal an umbrella?
ANNIE M’GOO.
[A tough ques
tion. Molt decld-
edly wrong,
however, If the
umbrella Is ourn.
-Ed.]
TO THE EDITOR—is there any
way of obtaining a Winter over
coat without buying, borrowing
or stealing it? T. C. GAMIN.
Sure. Maks
one yourself.
—Ed.
OUR WEEKLY HEALTH HINT.
Don’t cross the street when
there's a mail truck loose.
¥ T. from the
Important Items weekly Honk
Oopjnght, 1013. try tie Star OmpenJ. Greet Britain Itlghte n l,n 1
A S Mr. Cornelius Swlfte was coming down the avenue at 8.30 yester
day in his brand new ninety power Mangier touring car. an n
furiated pedestrian rushed from the sidewalk and deliberately
butted Into tile car. Mr. Swirte managed to stop before he ha gone o
blocks, but he was too late to avoid damage.
The pedestrian broke one of the forward lamps with bis head and
nails in hts shoe or his stickpin—the Coroner could not decide which
punctured a tire. As the pedestrian was mangled beyond recognition the
blow fails rather heavily on Mr. Swlfte. since the damages amount to mors
than $40. nnd he cannot collect Mr. Swlfte has the sympathy of the en
tire neighborhood.
A town meeting was held in the town garage last night attended by
some three score citizens. The object of the meeting was to pass an ordi
nance giving the Street Department authority to remove all the aide-
walks on the main boulevards and other thoroughfares. Inasmuch as these
sidewalks are only used by pedestrians, and as the streets are rather nar
row, the removal of these sidewalks would prove a lasting benefit to the
autoists, giving them about twelve feet more joom on each side of the
street. As it Is, the sidewalks are In the nature of a hardship to our hon
est citizens who own automobiles. Another meeting will be held soon.
Last Wednesday nfternoon while Julius Streaker was on Elm street,
crossing Main street, one of the trolley cars belonging to the Rapid Transit
Company deliberately leaped forward and struck Mr. Streaker’s auto. The
fender was smashed, the hood torn off, and the glass windshield broken,
the flying fragments of glass scratching Mr. Streaker’s pet dog, seated be
side him, quite seriously.
When will these outrages cease? The motorman on the car was
clanging his gong so loudly that he could not have heard Mr. Streakers
auto horn had that gentleman sounded It. It was an outrage. It will cos*
Mr. Streaker more than $100 to repair his car. and. In addition to
one of our shyster lawyers has brought suit against Mr. Streaker for dam
ages. It seems the widow of the motorman has an Idea she can collect
from Mr. Streaker. If this thing keeps up much longer we know of a cer
tain Rapid Transit Company that will be unable to renew Its franchise.
A petition has been presented to the City Council asking permission
to allow horses on Park avenue. Of course, the honorable members of the
Council Will give the petitioner leave to withdraw. Nine of the twelve
members* of the Council own cars. But if it should pass we are glad to
say that Mayor Speeder, who owns the fastest touring car in the city, will
promptly veto it. Owners of horses already have permission to drive on
three of the streets in this city, and one of these streets is quite long.
What more do they want?
The dastardly criminal who stole a tire from the garage of the Rev.
Janies MncWhlzz was sentenced to twenty years in prison. The Rev Mae-
Whi/.z was disappointed, as be believed the criminal should have been
given a life sentence.