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THE GEORGIANS NEWS BRIEFS
eorgian’s Comic Page
By George McManus
tere-
rther
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ed.
Starting Results.
A butcher whose business had been
steadily declining, owing chiefly to a
rival having set up on the opposite
side of the street, confided to his min
ister that he saw nothing for it but
to close his shop and leave the town.
The clergyman suggested that per
haps he had not made serious efforts
to retain the trade; but the butcher re
plied that he bad done all he knew,
without success.
“But,” said the minister, have you
tried the effect of prayer?”
No, he had not thought of trying
prayer, but he would do so before put
ting up the shutters. .
A week elapsed, when the minister,
chancing to p>ass the butcher s shop,
found him radiant with delight.
“Well,” the cleric asked, “did you
trv the power of prayer?”
* '-oh, yes,” was the reply, “and I wish
1 had tried it before. I prayed the
very night you left me, and on the fol
lowing morning the fellow across the
street broke his neck.”
"Why is it,” queried the fair widow,
“that they always say a man ‘pines'
for a woman?”
"I suppose,” growled the fussy
bachelor, “it’s because pine is about
the softest wood there is.”
He was one of those fresh young
fellows, given to the use of stale
slang. At the breakfast table, desir
ing the milk, he exclaimed:
“Chase the cow' down this way,
please."
“Here, Jane," said the landlady,
"take the cow down to where the calf
i* bawling."
ln=Shoots
1
If the majority would only < • ^
sent to be ruled by the minority,
there would be but little trouble
in the world of inditics.
* *■ +
Political ambition that will not
loosen the purse strings is not
skin deep.
* * *
.Take things as they come, un
less they are coming too swiftly.
Then dodge.
* * *
The man who can not capital
ize his genius is no belter off than
the bonehead.
* * *
Never propose to a girl in
moonlight. Wait and see how she
looks next morning.
* * *
The average boy had better
take his father’s advice than fol
low in the old man’s footsteps.
* * *
It is more diplomatic to sit on
the fence and let the other fel
low' have the honor of telling the
whole truth.
* * *
Rockefeller is to have a $3.5,ObO
Christmas.
* * *
Tampico has been captured by
the Constitutionalists—no, we
mean the Federuls—no, it is the
Constitutionalists—no, no. the
Federals. Well, have it which
ever way you like.
* * *
Indigestion will always harden
the heart of the average man.
■ * * *
Experience also teaches us a
lot of things that are of no par
ticular use.
• * *
A single mistake can often
knock over the business efforts of
a lifetime.
* * *
Upon the whole, it is better to
be proud of your children than of
your ancestors.
* * *
The simple life w'ould be all
right if a fellow could select his
own brand of simplicity.
* * *
Th^ individual who is con
stantly suspicious that someone
will get his job advertises him
self as a lightweight.
The Tiniest Picture.
M R. SAMUEL SCHULTZ, who
has a scenic and mural paint
ing studio at Wilmington, in
Delaware, has won, despite a lifetime
spent in painting subjects in heroic
sizes, the unique distinction of hav
ing made the smallest landscape
painting in the world.
This picture was executed on a
grain of corn, and the painter has,
only now recovered it after having
lost possession of it for more than
forty years. Having lost track of the
picture, which he made in 1869, when
he was only 19 years old, Schultz de
cided recently to try to recover it.
He advertised in several foreign
newspapers, with the result that the
tiny landscape came to him in its
original frame a few days ago, the
painting, in color and line, being as
sharp and clear as on the day of its
execution.
The particular grain of corn used
came fiom an ear that Mr. Schultz
as a lad picked on the estate of
James Buchanan, fifteenth President
of the United States, at Wheatland,
Pa. He had gone there to attend the
ex-President’s funeral, and plucked
the ear of corn as a souvenir. As
for the picture itself, a well known
artist, who saw it many years ago,
declared it was a masterpiece of
miniature painting.
Where No Money Is Used,
The Island of Ascension, in the At
lantic Ocean, is of volcanic forma
tion, and has a population of only
450. It was uninhabited until the
confinement of Napoleon at St. Hel
ena, when it was occupied by a small
British force.
Ascension is governed by a captain
appointed by the British Admiralty.
There is no private property in land,
no rents, no taxes and no use for
money. The flocks and herds are
public property and the meat is is
sued as rations. So are the vegeta
bles grown on the farms. When an
island fisherman makes a catch he
brings it to the guardroom, where it
is issued by the sergeant major.
Practically the entire population are
sailors, and they work at most of the
common trades. The muleteer is a
Jack Tar; so is the gardener; so are
the shepherds, the stockmen, the
grooms, carpenters and plumbers.
The climate is almost perfect
anything can be grown.
and
Want Ads
HELP WANTED—MALE
LOCAL REPRESENTATIVE WANTED. No can
vassing or soliciting required. Good income as
sured. Address National Co-Operative Realty Co.,
V-1446 Mardqri Building. Washington, D. C.
MISCELLANEOUS.
MARRY—Many rich, congenial and anx
ious for companions. Interesting par
ticulars and photo free. The Messenger,
Jacksonville, Fla.
MARRY RICH—Matrimonial paper of
highest character, containing hundreds
of photos and descriptions of marriage
able people with means. Mailed free.
Sealed. Either sex. Write to-day. One
may be your ideal. Address Standard
Cor. Club, Box 607, Grayslake, Ill.