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UNION RECORDER. MILLEDCEVILLE. CA., MAY 17, IMS
JEDGES JOSH
<nl ,U G i r l: “Why doesn't b»by
ulk. father?"
r , ltll .r: “He can't talk yet, dear.
lU n E habic* never do."
Small Girl: "Oh. ye*, they do.Job
, 1( j Norse read me oui of the Bible
, w job cursed the day he was bom!”
••He'll be sent up for ten days,”
marked the skunk pensively
led off his victim.
CU-URSE5M
, time 1 had a letter
jm the little pirl I love,
virned “Alva” and a “darling;”
Written closely just above.
Here’s -the dainty letter,—
j .y now my heart does fill—
ally is a letter
not a tailor’s bill.
W. I. F.
SUFFICIENT
Once upon an evening dismal
1 handed her a paroxysmal
Kiss, and spoke her name baptismal,
Spoke her name—it was Lcnorc;
Ah. she was a .scrumptious creature,
l.lj't, „( tongue and fair of feature,
Hut. alas! I couldn’t teach her
For she had been there before—
An.i she winked at me and murmured,
.Murmured the one word: “En-
Only that—and nothing more.
“Pinch me if I fall asleep,” mut
tered the Stewed Stude as he lurched
against the lamp post, and the Proud
Mil j..n of the law proceeded to do ns
hid.
Mr-, do Style: “I suppose your
daughter is to have her coming out
I ill very soon, isn’t she?”
Mr. Rose Quyck: “Oh, dear no!
.My daughter has another year at
school before becoming n dilitante,
and will not make her debris until
Mr. Smith came home very late
• supper one evening. He called
h - wife and told her to cook
vorything there was in the house,
"Why, John," she said, “what
"w you so terribly hungry?"
' !':» not hungry,” he growled. “1m
Jail is a place where lots of people
are who ought to be;
Where lots of people are, who ought
not to be;
Where lots of people are rmt, who
ought to be;
Where lota of people ore not, who
ought not to be.
WHY
I kissed my darling May
And never kept the score.
She was sc sweetly gay,
I kissed my darling May. »
My face felt queer all day
With rouge and paint galore
I kissed my darling May,
And never kept the score.
W. I. F.
He: “We don't see so much of you
we used to, Mrs. Farleigh.”
She: “No, my husband objects to
low-cut dinner gowns.’’
“Have you figure
lowance?”
“No. What's the
ing about nothing?"
your al-
n bother-
SU5CR1BER SENDS CLIPPING
The following poem wag mailed us
by a reader of the Union Recorder
from Asbum Georgia:
THE HOME TOWN PAPER
(By John Kelly, in Chicago Tribune)
“When the evenin' meal is over an’
the dishes put away,
An’ you settle down to store your
mind with happening of the day,
Comet* a peaceful feelin’ o’er you,
brushin’ from your face a frown,
As you scan the weekly paper from
your ol' home town.
“It tells you all about who’s sick 4
Feel Miserable
This Spring?
To Be Well Your Kidneys
Must Function Properly.
QPRING find you tired. nervou*
D and depressed? Are you atilt and
achy, subject to nagging backache,
drowsy headache* and dizzv spell*?
Arc kidney excretions too frequent,
.canty or burning in passage? *<»
often this indicates sluggish kidneys
and shouldn't be neglected. _
Doan a Hills, a stimulant diuretic,
increase the secretion of the kidneys
and thus aid in the elimination ol
waste impurities. Doan a are endorsed
evciywhcre. your neighborI
those who come an’ go,
Likewise the cornin' vendue at the
farm of Jabez Stowe;
The burnin’ of the cider mill belong
in’ to ‘Hub’ Brown,
Gets a write-up m the paper from
your ol' home town.
"There ain't an entertainment or a
meetin’ where they pray
But what I know about it though I’m
livin’ far away.
If the chicken-pox is ragin’ or the
mumps is goin’ roun’,
I peruse it in the paper from my ol’
home town.
I read the mornin’ papers an’ the
evenin’ papers, too.
An’ I sometimes pick a novel up an’
sort o* skip it through.
But when I want some pabulum
which nowhere else is foun*
I unwrap the little paper from my
ol’ home town.
"They say our good an’ had deeds
are recorded up on high.
So that God inn classify us when it
Comes our turn to die:
If that he true, I know a man who's
goin’ to wear a crown—
HE’S THE GENT WHO RUNS THE
PAPER IN MY OL’ HOME
TOWN.”
FOR RENT—One of the new st
bungalows owned by Mr. Je*«ie
Bone in West End. I remedial*
session. Phone 223. 5-17-28
ANYBODY INTERESTED
I. MoauKBtal Work
Sec
J. W. IVEY. Sexto*.
He Repreiemli The McNeil
Marble Co., The Urgeet In
The Sooth, Ooe of The Older!
end Larfeit ia America.
MR. L- H. ANDREWS ON FISHING
TRIP AT ST. SIMON'S
Mr. L. H. Andrews went down to
Augusta Sunday evening, to join a
number of friends, who left -that city
early Monday morning for a fishing
trip of ten days on St. Simon’s Island.
Mr. Andrews goes as a guest of his
Augusta friends, who promised him
the time of his life if he would ce-
cept their invitation. It has been
many years since Mr. Andrews has
been on a fishing trip, and it can be
safely predicted that he is haring
the time of his life.
Hotels its.
CABLING. JmekMiDTUI*. rim.
BBOADYIEW. rial M. LotiS. flL
WOLIOSD. DMT I llr. 111.
MOKOCT MOUNTAIN HOTEL.
THE rnOENIX, Wijcrwi. On.
DinklerHorelsJnc
<g|S> •/ T,„
5 years of service
is only a starting point
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Keep in mind when buying your new car, that more than
three-quarters of all the Buick cars produced ia the leal
twenty-five years are still serving their owners.
Buick endures—Buick stays young—Buick stands up and
gives its best over a longer period than any other car—
because it is endowed with an extra-rugged doubledrop
frame—Buick's world-famous Sealed ChassbandTnple-
Sealed Engine—and the most nearly perfect oiling systesa
ever developed—
You’ll prefer Buick because it leads in beauty and hnaayt
and you'll prefer it, too, because it is the most durable of
cars—and therefore the most paying investment.
absorbers, front and rear,
SEDANS *1195 to $1995 - COUPES *119* *> *1*50
SPORT MODELS *1195 to *1525
AU prim f. a. b. Ftmt. A.VA.. *
RALPH SIMMERSON
MILLEDCEVILLE. GEORGIA.
Tom,Tom, the piper’s
son,
Stole a cake and away 1
he run,
And no one blamed
poor Tom at all—
Omega dour makes
everyone fall!
Sold by most all the grocers in and
around Milledgeville.
For Sale
Cotton Seed for Planting
MILLED6EVIUE.PR0DUCTS CO.
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Aim datrrimnn RIP imutuid*.!