Newspaper Page Text
TRENTON, GEORGIA.
1 It is stated that at least 1,000,000 tons
•f commercial fertilizers are now annual
ly used in this country, at a cost to buy
ers of $30,000,000.
One hundred and twenty-seven pen
sion bills were passed by the United
States Senate one day recently in ninety
minutes.
The statistics on tobacco show that
Maine uses less of the weed than any
other State in the Union.
An awful result of serpent worhip in
India is the statement that 22,000 lives
are lost annually by the bites of venom
ous reptiles and wild beasts.
Nearly all of the United States Sena
tors are large men, their average weight
running close to 180 pounds. Their
entire weight, according to a coire
spondent, is nearly 14,000 pounds.
At a single stroke the British Govern
ment has converted its immense national
debt of $73.1,000,000 into three per cent,
bonds, with the privilege after fifteen
years of reducing the interest to two and
a half per cent.
The late Dr. Agnew was wont to de
clare that no man had lived to be 100
years old since Biblical days, and all such
reports came from ignorance or mistakes.
Out of twenty cases he investigated not
one proved to be authentic.
The United States import some 1(5,000,-
000 dozen eggs a year, for which we pay
$2,500,000, and Mr. A. F. Hunter wants
to know why we do not produce these
eggs ourselves. He answers his own
question, in the New England Farmer, by
saying that we have hens enough, but
they do not lay as they ought to.
In the United States there is one
ister to 700 people; in China, one or
dained missionary to 1,000,000. Of the
200,000,000 of Africa, 140,000,000 have
not been touched by Christaiu teachers.
The United States has 80,000 preachers,
while India, with five tinier the popula
tion has 700 ordained missionaries.
Miss Eliza Garner, of Charleston, S
C., who announced that she would be i
candidate for the office of County School
‘Commissioner, is the first lady in the
L mth, so far as is known, to run for
oh.ee. She is possessed of independent
means, is a hard student, and has been
prominent in church and school work.
The only Senator who now habitually
wears one of the little black skull caps
tliat were so common among the Senators
a few years ago is Senator Edmunds,
whose head is so bald as to be very
sensitive to the draughts about the cor
ridors of the Senate Chamber. The
custom of wearing the caps was started
by General Burnside and was quite
fashionable for a time.
General Boulanger, the idol of the
French populace, 13 now just fifty years
old. He Is noted for his grace and
gallantry, and more than any other
Frenchman is the especial hero of the
ladies. No one else can open a fan oi
remove a lady’s cloak or mount a restless,
horse in so graceful and charming a way,
and the same qualities are said to charac
terize all his military actions.
Camden, N. J., comes to the front with
a co-operative burial company that issues
certificates all the way from S3O to SIOO
that will enable their holders to be put
away as plainly or as stylishly as they
choose. As all supplies are to be manu
factured by the company and furnished
at wholesale rates, it may be reasonably
hoped members will get the
their money.
An English physician, who has in
'the Characteristics and sur
roundings of centenarians, says he found
that the average qualities were a good
fam lv history, a well made frame, of
average stature, spare rather than stout,
robust, with good health, appetite and
digestion, capable of exertion, good
sleepers, of placid temperament and
good intelligence, with little need foi
and little consumption of alcohol and
animal food.
Embalmed geese, turkeys xvith painted,
legs, and diseased chickens, instead of
healthy, untainted poultry, are sold in
extensively in the Paris markets A
market porter recently died from blood
poison from the bite of an insect which
was battening or. some turkeys. The
practice of embalming long demised hi: ds
is comparatively of modern origin, but
the painting of turkeys legs is old. Pere
Chappelleire made a fortune out of it.
He found that fresh ki’led turkeys had
black shiny legs, but later they would
turn to a dusky brown color. He in
vented a peculiar varnish, and his services
were requisitioned in every market The
effect of his varnish was so eonedusive
that it deceived experienced cooks aud
housekeepers, who often bought tainted
food in preference to newly killed.
A Georgia man with a statistical turn
of mind figures out that a man who reg
ularly takes ten ordinary drinks of
whisky a day and keeps it up for twenty
years will in that time consume at least
thirty-six barrels of the liquor.
Alpine guides are in demand in the
Himalayas, in the Caucasus, and among
the New Zealand Alps; and a British
mountainer recently asserted that our
Mount Saint Elias, in Alaska, would
never be ascended without the aid of a
few T professional Swiss climbers.
The Queen of England gives a great
deal of attention to public affairs. It
is not generally known to what an ex
tent she carries this attention. > Every
night an abstract of the work of the
Hou-e of Commons is sent to her by
telegraph. This is done even when she
is on the Continent, and it reached her
from day to day during her visit in
Florence. Every important aft ef the
Cabinet is submitted to her.
Outside of Alaska there are now 4f)o, -
000,000 acres ot forest standing in the
United States, which is over eight acres
for each man, woman and child. The
area of forest lands is increasing in some
of the New England States, and under
the fostering care of tree-claim laws, and
the interest of individual owners of land
in the newer States, it is said that 100,-
000 square miles of almost treeless
prairies have been reversed since their
settlement.
Senator Hawley, according to the
Chicago Herald, is the fastest talker in
the United States Senate. lie is the
terror of the official stenographers, and
each of them always attempts to shirk
the responsibility of reporting his
speeches. Senator Plumb is the nex
most rapid talker, while Senator Reagan
is the most difficult to report. Ilis
utterances are verr indistinct, and he
stammers and repeats continually. Even
when he stands down in the front row
of seats the reporters are driven almost
crazy in their, efforts to take down his
words.
The relation of electricity to crime,
which began xvith the inx T entiou of burg
lar alarm devises, says the New Y r ork
Sun, has been extended in the shape of an
electrical detective camera, invented by
two Newark men. Their idea is to have
the device fixed in the walls of banking
houses behind the tellers, and so arranged
as to photograph whoever stands at the
teller’s window, in case the man’s pict
ure is wanted. The little button that
does the work of opening the camera
shutter, making the exposure, dropping
the plate, and putting in a new plate,
will be under the teller's desk, so that he
can, without betraying himself, instantly
take the picture of any one xvho excites
his suspicion. Tills same can be
put in police stations iii (he same way,
and as the prisoners are brought in they
can be photographed without knowing
it and having a chance to distort their
features, as they do when for the
Rogues’ Gallery.
A New York scientist thinks that the
coming weapon of civilized xvarfare will
not be the explosive bullet, but a chem
ical one, something after the charactei
of the suggestion of AYestiou, the elec
trician. He suggests the use of nitrate
of amyl, which possesses the power of
causing insensibility very quickly to a
human being breathing its fumes. An
exchange says on the subject: “It is
cheap and plentiful, and could be used
instead of gunpowder. A few gallons of
this nitrate dashed on the deck of a wai
ship would soon render her crew help
less. • The most poxverful iron-clads
would be even more vulnerable than the
light cruisers, for they would be sucking
down great draughts of air through their
artificial ventilators, and the odor would
thus rapidly permeate the whole ship.
The whole crew being rendered helpless
for an hour or two, the ship could, oi
course, be towed into a sate spot, while
the captors xmntilated her and removed
the insensible men.”
An active telegrapher furnishes the
New York Graphic with a table of
national telegraph systems under Govern
ment control. It is as follows:
Countries owning Miles of Miles oj
system. lines. wire.
Austrian Empire 30,084 102,610
Belgium 3,801 17,71:.
Bulgaria 1,520
China 8,080 5,482
Denmark 2,384 6,739
Egypt 2,701 5,221
Fiance 61,286 220,870
Germany 51,637 181,380
Greece 0,720 4,570
Great Britain an 1 Ireland... 0'»,:270 170,195
India 25,387 74,973
Italy 18,763
Japan 5,000 13,481
Mexico 12,000 40,000
Montenegro. 280
Netherlands.. 2,938 16,780
New South Wales 10,351 19,804
New Zealand 4.46! 10,931
Queensland 7,533 1:2,OIK)
Roumania 3,250 0,800
Siam 1,009
Sweden and Norway 9,605 23.002
Victoria 3,940 9,G17
Total 312,907 935,518
Mileage of the world 743,090
Mileage of the United States.23l,sßß
Total mileage owned by Gov
ernments 4:10,029
\ ariety is just as cheap as monotony.
A SONG OF MAYTIME.
As fades the night with morning light,
So winter creeps away;
And in his place with sunny face
Tnere shines the sun of May.
From over all the cloudy pall
Of chill and darkness drear
Is quick removed, and spring is proved—
Her warmth and light are here,
From out the South with perfumed mouth
The summer whispers, “Hero!”
And sweet and low the breezes blow
As soft she treadetfa near.
Day after day the sky’s gay
With tender tints of blue;
On airy wings the robin sings,
And wood-birds call and coo.
Within our hearts, too, life imparts
A gentle throb and thrill,
And bitter strife no longer rife,
Peace, Love, our bosoms till!
—Dt mo’-t s:.
WOMEN OF OR IT,
We were well into the Gulf of Bengal,
bound lor Madras, when one Morning,
just as night was fading into dawn, 1
thought 1 heard a voice hailing us from
the surface of the sea. There are sea
birds who cry out almost like human be
ings, and although I was startled by the
had, I dismissed it after a lew seconds as
the cry of a bird. Scarcely had. 1 done
so when it came again, and this time 1
knew it was the voice of a woman.
The; e was no need to kail the mate or
watch, for he had heard the cry as well.
We were jogging along •under easy sail,
and he seized the glass and ran up the ;
forengging. There was a sort of steam ,
rising lrorn the water, but the mate had
not climbed thirty feet when down
he came again, and in one breath
ordered the ship into the wind, the j
Captain aroused and a boat lowered. We !
of the watch had no doubt, that the ship 1
had been hailed by castaways, but die
boat was down before any of us had made
out a lone woman in a sort of a canoe
craft about two cables’ length away on
our port how. Bhe had neither puddle
nor oar, and her craft was driving with
the wind and sea, while she sat cowering
in the s:ern. Our boat was soon alongside
sf her craft, and woman and craft were
soon aboard the Admiral Nelson. The
watch below had been turned up, and
everybody was on deck to see what was
going ou. The woman was white, and,
we soon ascertained, American. I say
white, but brown would be the better
term, for it was evident she had long
been expo-ed to tropical weather. She
was of medium size, regular features and
about 40 years of age, and at onetime
had been good looking.
“Who is the Captain?” she snapped, as
she touched the deck.
Here, ma’am,” replied our old man, as
he stepped forward.
“I want to talk to you in your cabin,”
she continued, her fingers working nerv-,
ously and her eyes snapping fire.
They had not been gone a quarter of
an hour when both reappeared on deck.
I was at the wheel, and therefore heard
all that was said. It appeared that the
woman, whoso name was Mrs. Thomas,
owned and sailed a trading schooner,
which had been left her at her husband s
death. It was a strange vocatj.oQ.for
a woman, but it seemed she like it and,
also had a good business head on her.
She had a crew of six, her mate being an
Englishman and the others Lascars,"find
she had been sailing between nearly all
the towns on the Gulf. Three days be
fore we picked her up, her schooner had
left Sumatra, bound for the Indian coast.
The crew seemed to be pertectly quiet
and .t at 10 o’clock of the
previous nigM headed by the mate, had
suddenly hands on her and
sent her adrift without w r ater, food, or a
paddle. The intention was to run away
with the schooner and cargo and sell
them, and this plan might have been
carried out but for her rescue.
She was the spunkiest little woman I
ever saw. She was so mad she cou>dn’t
stand still for three seconds at a time.
What she wanted was for our ship to go j
in pursuit. Her schooner was armed
with two brass six-pounders, while we
had four twelves, and she expressed her
entire willingness to see her craft sent to
the bottom before the mutinous crew
should benefit by their acts. Captain
Wheeler was pretty wed along in years,
very careful on the question of insur
ance, and his mind was not made up un
til after breakfast. Then he decided to
luff up toward the Andaman Islands
in search of the schooner, and he almost
promised to give her a taste of our metal
if she was sighted and would not sur
render.
The little woman managed to eat a
dozen mouthfuls of breakfast, and then
returned to the deck to almost assume
control. She ordered a man aiott,
bossed the job of casting loose the giiis
and getting up powder and shot, asd
every ten minutes she was hailing tne
lookout to know if anything was in
sight. Luck was in her favor. White
we had been jogging along ail night,
the schooner, being further to the east,
had been almost becalmed AVe raised
her almost dead ahead about noon, and as
luck would have it, again we had plenty
of wind while she had none until the ves
sels were not over two miles apart. The
schooner could have no suspicion that
the woman was aboard of us, and we
iiew a signal that we wanted to speak
her. She at once lay to, and, as we ran
down to her, I saw Airs. Thomas grit
her teeth, clench her hands and show
others evidences of her feelings. She
had borrowed the mate's six-shooter,
donned a hat and coat to disguise her
self. and as we lay to about a cable’s
length away no eye could have made out
her sex'.
“Schooner ahoy!” called our captain.
“Aye, aye, sir! This is the Nanev
Lee, bound from Sumatra to the main
land.”
“Are you the Captain?”
“No, sir. lie’s very sick in his berth.”
“Run out those guns!” whispered the
old man to us, and down went the big
barkers, and such of the crew as were
not at the guns rested their muskets
along the rail.
“I’ve got your Captain here and she'll
be put aboard of you!” shouted our Cap
tain. “If you attempt any resistance,
I’ll sink you!”
The Englishman ordered his crew to
one of the gun but they refused to obey,
every man of them skulking forward and
disappearing down the hatch. The fel
low left the deck long enough to arm
himself with a [cutlass, and as we low
ered a.boat he called out that he would
split the head of the first man who at
tempted to board the schooner. Our first
mate, the boatswain, and two of us fore
mast hands went in the boat with Mrs.
Thomas, and as we hooked on to the
schooner’s chains the boatswain pulled a
revolver and climbed in over the bows.
The mutineer retreated aft, and then we
all boarded. The woman had not spoken
a word sirr e leaving the ship. She was
pale as death, and her eyes glared like a
tiger’s. As she dropped from the rail to
the deck she cocked the weapon in her
hand, walked aft and right tip to the
mate, and as he flourished his cutlass and
commanded her to keep off, she shot him
dead in his tracks.
“U’s the law of the sea,” she quietly
remarked, as she turned to us. “Aow to
rout out those Lascars!”
“But you won’t kill them!” said our
mate.
“No. not quite!” was her grim answer,
as she handed him the smoking revol
ver.
Casting a look at the dead mutineer,
to be sure that he was dead, she went
forward, took a belaying pin out of the
port rail and, approaching the hatch,
she called down;
“On deck here, every man of you, and
be quick about it!”
They came up one after the other, and
as each man touched the deck she gave
him a crack over the head which made
him see stars. They went down on their
knees and begged for their lives, and
after knocking them about in a liberal
way she finally agreed to extend pardon.
Under her direction the mate’s body was
searched, and, as she had anticipated, all
the money aboard the schooner was
found. She then ordered the body I’ung
overboard, and as it touched the water
one of the biggest white sharks I ever
saw sei e.t it an I bit it in half. While
the Lascars were cleaning the deck the
little woman ran down into her cabin
and brought up a do en bottles of wine,
six boxes of cigars and a lot of dried
fruits for us to take back to the ship.
Then she gave each of us a shake of the
hand, and as we entered the yawl she
sprang upon the port rail, held fast to
the main shrouds with cue hand, and
shouted to our Cap ain:
“Good-by and God bless you, Capt.
Wheeler I've got my craft back, thanks
to you, and 1 11 keep my eyes open after
this!”
Then she jumped clown and went to
the wheel and gave orders to get the
schooner on her course, and in a couple
of hours the craft was lost sight of be
hind one of the islands as it made for
the inside of the route. Two years later
I saw the woman at Singapore, and she
still owned the schooner, and was said to
have a comfortable fortune in bank. A
year later I heard that she had' sold her
schooner, purchased a brig, and putting
in a cargo on her own account, had sailed
for home.
A WOMAN REPULSES PIRATES.
In the fall of 1857, having been paid
off at C ape Town from an English brig
which had been condemned, 1 shipped
aboard the bark Rescue, Captain Moore,
bound to several ports in Madagascar and
return. We had a small but excellent
crew, every Znan but the cook being
xvhite, and all being English, American,
or Swede. The day before we sailed
the Captain’s wife came aboard, and I
saw at once that she xvas a sailor. She
xvas about thirty-five years old, weighed
not an ounce over a hundred pounds,
and her movements were those of a girl.
She was just such a little woman as you
might expect to hear scream out at sight
of a mouse and to see faint away if the
saw a rat. As a rule, sailors are opposed
to women folks at sea. They are all
right as passengers, but when a Captain
has his xvife along there is more or less
growling in the fo'ca3tle. It is taken for
granted that the “old man” will be less
on deck and leave more to the mates,
and instead or “cracking on” and carry
ing all sail to make a.short x'oyage, he
will go slow and look out for squalls.
We groxvled about the woman coming
aboard, but, at the same time, every old
tar vowed her an angel and hoped good
luck for her.
We crept along the coast as far as Port
Elizabeth, and then took a departure for
the big island to the northeast, a matter
of 700 miles, before we could sight its
southern end. We had light, steady
winds and fair weather, making easy
work for the crew, hut on the third day
out the Captain was taken down with
fever. We hadn't seen much of his wife
up to that time, but now she was every
xvhere in an hour. Although we had a
first mate xvho xvas thoroughly compe
tent, the little woman took full charge
of the ship. And we soon discovered
that she was entirely competent to do so.
She could stand by the log, prick off the
day’s run, figure drift and dead reckon
ing, and order sail set or reduced as
smartly as any man I ever saw, and the
mates bad sense enough not to sulk over
it. Her husband owned a three-quarter
interest in the bark and her venture, and
it was only natural that the xvi£g should
know it. She xvas doctor, nurse, Captain
and counselor all in one, and things
could rot have gone better had the old
man been on deck.
All went xveil until we were within
sixty or seventy miles of the south end
of Madagascar, when the breeze died
away in the forenoon until we scarcely
bad steerageway, and almost at the same
time we sighted a felucca on our star
board l ow and about tea miles away. In
those days there were-p.enty of native
sea rovers hidden away in the bays and
rivers at the lower end of Madagascar,
and they had no hesitation in plunder
ing, scuttling, and throat-cutting. We
had no sooner made out the strange
craft than the little woman called us ail
| aft and said:
“Men, you know that the Capta'nis
very ill. Yonder native craft is a pirate,
! and is coming down to attack us. If xve
j surrender, not one of us will live an hour.
| If we do our best, we may beat her off
and escape. There may be sixty of
them: there are only thirteen of us. Will
you fight or surrender 2”
“Fight! Fight! Hip I Hurrah!” shouted
the crew in chorus, and, after thanking
us, the woman gave oreers to prepare fo t
the attack.
The sky xvas cloudless acd the breeze
stiff dying away, and it was certain that
no change in the weather could be looked
for. AVe had two cannon, nine-pound
ers, one on either broadside, and these
were uncovered and loaded with solid
shot. Luckily, among the cargo was a
consignment of muskets, and xve broke
out two boxes of fifty each. They were
cheap affairs, calculated for traffic, but
all were sure fire for a few rounds. I
was one of the gang told off to load
them, and I know we loaded the even
hundred. This would give us a matter
of seven shots apiece without reloading.
One-half the muskets were carried aft to
the quarters, and the others distributed
along the bow and waist. Four cut'
lasses were bunted up and served out,
and then there was time for one more
precaution. The felucca was coming
down slowly, urged by her sweeps, and
a man aloft with a glass reported that
she was full of men and had two six
pounders on her decks. The head of
the bark pointed pretty stca iily to the
northwest, for there was neither wind
nor sea. The felucca was coming down
from the northeast, and we could there
fore figure that she would board us on
the starboard bow.
Orders were given to search for and
bring on deck bottles of every kind and
shape. I think we routed out fifty or
more in the fo’castle, while the cabin
furnished a hundred. These were broken
in pieces on the forward deck, and a tine
mess they made of it. We could walk
over the stuff with our leather soles, but
woe to the bare feet which leaped off the
rail. The Felucca people did not sus
pect our caunou until they got a shot
irom the starboard gun which made the
splinters fiy. T hen they changed their
course and pulled for our bows, and we
could not train a gun to bear upon them.
I helped reload our gun with a solid
shot, and we had scarcely finished when
the Felucca was upon us. She grappled
us just where we had figured, and, under
the little woman's orders, we made no
effort to prevent. She had foreseen that
if driven back the Felucca could take
position on our bow or stern and pound
us to pieces with her six-poanders,
while xve xvould not be able to return a
shot.
We were drawn up in line across the
deck abaft the foremast, with the spare
muskets lying behind us. The captain’s
xvife was at my left, armed xvith his re
volver. Alind you, there xvasn’t a shout
or shot as the fellows boarded us. They
pulled down to us in a grim, determined
way, never a man opening his lips, and
as the grapnels caught they came swarm
ing over the bows like a stream of giant
ants, each man armed with creese alone.
There wasn’t a yell until they struck the
deck, and then there xvere a "hundred in
chorus. Every man xvas barefooted, and
every one xvas horribly cut. AVe opened
fire at the same moment, and doxvn went
the first gang. The second was wiped
out almost as quickly 7, and then we
rushed forward and each man xvent in on
his oxvn hook. It was a picnic for us.
A few musket shots were fired at us from
away aft, but the bullets flew among the
rigging. We rested our guns on the
rad and fired right down among them,
and in ten minutes from the beginning
of the fight all the pirates alive sought
shelter below. AVe had fourteen dead
on our decks, and there were twice that
number in sight of the felucca, while
not one of us had a scratch.
Leaving three men to fire away at any
head appearing above the hatches, xve
cast off the grapplings and pulled the
felucca along our starboard side until the
cannon would bear. Then xve fired a
shot through her deck and bottom, re
loaded and gave lier another, and then
cast her adrift. She rubbed around our
stern, drifted off about a hundred feet,
and in a quarter of an hour xvent to the
bottom. Perhaps a dozen living men
came to the surface and swam to the
bark, but not one of them xvas allowed to
board. You may think it a blood-thirsty
act, sir, but xve wiped them out to the
last man xvithout any twinges of con
science, and I’ve always been glad of it.
Had they captured us, our throats would
have been cut in no time. AVe lay all
that day xvithout moving half a mile, but
snnset brought a breeze, and xve finished
our voyage without further adventure.
The excitement of the fight made the
Captain, much xvorse, but he recovered
in a few weeks, and xvas able to take
command again.— A’aw York Sun.
Valuable Coins and Coin Collectors
Said a noted coin collector recently, in
conversation xvith a New York SuW re
porter: “Do you know that, strange (Is
ic may seem, the oldest coins are not the
rarest, and are the least in demand by
numisinaticians
The reporter was not aware of the fact,
and inquired why such xvas the case.
“The vagaries and caprices of the col
lector cannot be explained,” replied the
connoisseur. “Why a man should prefer
the scarce American dollar of 1804 at
SIOO (which is the market value of a
good specimen), to the beautiful J3gina
coin, the oldest and most artistic pro
duct of the Greek mint, a fine copy of
which may be had lor SB, is as difficult a
question to answer as why the handsome
and talented Alontague Brown married
the unprepossessing Miss Dobbs.
“There is always a lively demand for
the scarcest coins.” continued the col
lector, “and it seldom concerns the en
thusiast whether they are beautiful or
not. It is well nigh impossible to begin
now and make a complete collection of
our American coins. To doit one would
have to possess, beside a knoxvledge of
American numismatics, the patience of
Job and a purse as long as a Vanderbilt.
The colonial coins alone are worth a
small fortune. Fabulous prices are paid
for good specimens of early American
coinage. The l ine Tree shilling is worth
from $lO to S2O, and in later times there
is the Washington half dollar, valued to
day at S3O. The dollar of 1704 has
brought as much as SIOO at an auction
sale. The half cent of 1700 is difficult to
get at sls, while the half dollar of the
same date readily sells at S3O. The
rarest, however, of all the small pieces, is
the half dime of 1802, which recently
sold for $00.”
“AYhere do all the old coins go to?”
queried the reporter.
“To the same place that pins and but
tons do, wherever that may be,” replied
the collector. “Of cour.-e, all unique
copies and the finest specimens sooner
or later find their xvay into public oi
private collections, or the hands of the
dealers. The largest and finest collec
tions are owned by Dr. Charles E. AVest,
Alexander Balmano, R. 11. Laxvrence,
Robert Hobart Smith, and Gaston L.
Feuardent, of New York. The. finest
collection in the world is that of the
British Aluseum in London.
Last year 41,852 cars were turned out
at car shops. Thirty thousand more are
needed, and the car works have orders
for months to come.
A SONG.
There is ever a song somewhere, my dear I]
There is ever a something sings Mv x v: ■
There’s the song of (he lark when the sM
arc clear,
And the song o£ the thrush when the sIJH
are gray. *
The sunshine showc-s a the graM •% ip
And the bluebird trills in the orchard trljß
And in anil out, when the oaves drip
The swallows are twittering coast .'ossly.f
There is ever a song somewhere, my t«.«fc y
In the midnight black or the mhVLty mue
Ihe robin pipes when the sun is here. aM
And the cricket chirrups the who ifYii h
through.
The buds may blow and the fruit may grl *
And the autumn leaves drop cri-p : i
sere;
But whether the sun, or the rain, or h
snow,
ihere is ever a song somewhere, ray di u
—James Whitcomb liifet
HUMOR OF THE DAY. W[.
Always comes out on top—hair j j
No thorough-fare—An oatmeal diAner
A copper trust—getting credit for t
cent.
Aloncy is an enigma that
mud give up.
A chess tournament is always jfarijjl
on the square. Pq|
The canned article that goes the quick
est is a dog’s tail. |
A dentist will file your teeth but ■
for ready reference. j
AVlien a mars claims the earth it is tl
to unearth his claim. \
Something that should be looked iE
—a pretty girl's eyes. 1
It is unfortunate that a little mol
doesn’t go a long way. »
If thirty-txvo is the free-ing-pol*
what is the squeeziug-poiut? Two 1
the shade.
A good many women who have rna
ried dry goods clerks have got two yarl
of illusion as a premium.
He “Do you believe in high licensi
Fannie?” She—“AVhat kind of licensa
Marriage license?” lie changed tM
subject. ,J
“AVho is that man?” “He’s the so
vant of old Smith, the undertaken
“Ah ? then he’s the valet of the .-hadoj
of death.” —Town Topics.
A Pittsburg man calls his xvife by t
beautiful title “ Airtue, ” because she
her own reward. She does all the hou
w T ork and gets no wages. Graphic. I
“One swallow does not make a alg
mer,” but it may have occurred to y<
that one grasshopper makes more thtffl
dozen springs.--A <rridoum H<
li.ii- -prill< 1 ctt.-i- th in t 1..-
8,-Hil Bourn ni! to Brown,
Because in fall the stove's put
In spring it’s taken down.
—Boston B
Mr. Agile to Air. Stoutman, wfl 1
running after a horse-car—-“AVI*. ■
boy, I thought you xvere too lazy tA i
Mr. S. “Easily explained; lazinel -A
in our family.” V nl
A warrant was recently issued a
North Carolina town for the arres* I
mm for committing an assault “\J, I
deadly weapon, to wit, a certain \m I
ind large bull dog.” j I
The AVest Chester JYetcs suggest* Ij
1 man can hardly trust a signal si 1
report that predicts calm weather V I
he has to hold his hat on with I I
hands while he reads it. * I
l’he candidate's boomiet noxv bung* I
boometli, \ I
And bashfully buzz- til the 1 r-ggarly beß I
In the bulge of his bonnet it busily humiA|
A song like the sob of the sad sounding ij
—Chicago Tribunal
A Congressman, on receiving liis 11
from the cloak-r-oom, asked the wall
how lie knew it was his hat, andJl
promply answered: “I didn’t knof I
was your hat; I only knows it wua I
hat you gub to me.” M I
Daughter— “Mamma, wou’dn’tj#.;l
just lovely if xve only had neck 1! I
giraffe.” Mamma—“Why, my |l
What advantage xvould it be toll
Daughter—“We could taste ou# I
cream so much longer.”— Tid-Bitit
Mamie—“Mamma, can’t I go I -fl
Kitty’s house and play awhile?” M 9
(hesitatingly)—“l don’t know, dea fl
—yes, you can go for just a little xvll
Mamie (demurely)—“Thank you, afl
ma, I’ve been.” — Drake's J/aqucine.lK
Which I rise to remark, H
And my language is plain, B|
That for ways that are dark H
And for tricks that are vain, 1H
This eliniute of ours is peculiarßß
—Lincoln (Neb.) Joiuwß
Tramp (piteously)--“Please hpß
poor old cripple.” Ixiud OhlAfl
(handing him some money)- —“BlUfl
why, of course. How are you ctipi I
my poor fellow :” Tramp (pocke#Dg I
money) — “Financially cripp!ed||ff ■
The Sun. B 1
A on have a very sour look this nul
ing, ” remarked a cucumber
neighbor,a dyspeptic strawberry. L mjm
was the tart reply; “one is neccsVI 1 '!
unpleasantly affected when
associate with such a seedy party asjl
are.” “Caulifloxver by any other >1
’twill smell as sweet,” shouted an oil
near by, xvith a peel of laughter.—al
York Sun. |||
- I
Use No Sugar On Oatmeal. |l
“Be careful how you eat oatmfß
said a doctor recently to a reporteiil
the Nexv Aork .1 hi Hand i-Dpress. ''ll
meal is a very heatliful food if till
properly. No food is healthy if II
properly used.” |l
“lloxv should it be eaten?” if
“If oatmeal is eaten in excess ofM
needs of the body for proper nutritila
overloads and taxes the system. It |N
not be eaten partially cooked. FBI
corn meal, rice and other approved!™
clcs of wholesome diet are not heaitßl
half cooked. If an excess of sugaKl
other sweets is used it will disagree jn
many people, causing iudigestioirJß
eaten with an excess of cream it wjfß
be healthy for some pcr.-onVjf B
stomachs are too delicate to s:anßff**B
food. Oatmeal is a healthy food B
not used for over-feeding,
ficiently cooked and when nottH ‘ I
an excess of cream or sweets. Br ■
should be eaten without any swe«l
using a little milk or cream, a little b*
ter, and seasoned with salt as tl
Scotch do. ” I