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tlaiic <£onul|i ?^cus
GEORGIA.
The roller skating craze is now at its
height in Washington Territory, Oregon
Manitoba,
It is the opinion of a scientist that the
chances of a person in the nineteenth
century reaching one hundred years oi
age are one in 18,800.
Uniform time for the whole of France
—that of Paris—has keen decided upon
by the French Government, to commence
with the opening of the Universal Ex
position, in 1889.
Many of the Nebraska Indians who
have been admitted to citizenship have
be ome subscribers to the daily press,
and are fast gaining information on tho
living issues of the day.
That the Indian is capable of civiliza
tion is abundantly proved by a full
blooded California Indian, who called at
the office of the Elko Independent and
ordered a supply of visiting cards.
A “Christian Temperauee Common
wealth” has obtained a location for a
colony in British Columbia. Its pro
moters contract, in return for the labor
of heads of families, to support the
families.
- A.,.—1N1 .11
The Chinese in California are endeav
oring to head off the movement to sup
plant them with boys in picking and
canning fruit, by leasing numerous large
fruit farms at i resno. They are also
building a packing house at Sclna.
An undertaker at Ciesco, lowa, states
in an advertisement that be has a large
number of debtors who, though now
living with their second wives, have not
paid the funeral expenses of their first
ones, and if they do not do so in sixty
days he will publish their names.
Seventy per cent, of the criminals ol
Illinois are unable to write, asserts the
Detroit Free Press, but ignorance is not
always linked with crime. There would
be no forgers if criminals did not know
how to write. One-half the crimes com
mitted in Massachusetts are by well
educated men and women.
An exchange say : “Every newspaper
in Wisconsin and Minnesota over one
year old, receives SIOO for publishing
the general laws passed at each Legisla
ture of their respective States. If every
State in the Union would adopt this
plan, the people would have no excuse
for ignorance regarding the laws.”
The prevalence of suicides in all coun
tries of civilization seems, says Dr. Felix
S. Oswald, to increase in the exact pro- i
portion to the fierceness of the struggle
for existence. The crowded kingdom
of Saxony heads the list, while self-mur
der is almost totally unknown in the
sparsely settled and withal tolerably fer
tile highlands of Turkey and Norway.
I
A philanthropic Mme. Batifol estab
lished some time ago an annual prize of
S2OOO to the most deserving and indus
trious young woman in Paris. The
prize has been awarded this year by the
appointed jury to Mile. Terminaux, who
has for years kept her father, mother, and
half a dozen brothers and sisters by
being a “cutter out” in a millinery shop.
A Russian sergeant has invented a
method for the rapid construction ol
boats from tents. Upon experiment, in
. thirty minutes, under the designer’s
| direction, a detachment of men chosen
by hap-hazard improvised several handy
boats with the aid of green wood from a
neighboring grove. Each boat readily
supported four to six fully equipped
soldiers.
— t
The daughter of the King of Shov has
recently married the eldest son of King
John of Abyssinia with a splendor un
paralleled in modern ceremonies. The
crown worn by the bride is regarded as
the one which decked the head of the
Queen of Sheba. Ac cord ng to the
native records it has been in the posses
sion of the Ethiopian kings for twenty
five centuries.
Secretary Endicott has signified his
approval of the adoption of a novel
weapon for the members of the hospital
corps. It is, practically, a big jack
knife, and seems to be a cross between a
short sword—such as Mr. Lawrence Bar
rett’s Roman soldiers wear—andabowie
knife. It is made of the finest steel, and
is to be worn strapped to the side. The
weapon is not intended for offensive ac
tion, since the members of the hospital
corps are classed by the General Confer
ence of the Red Cross as non-combatants.
It is intended as an emergency weapon,
to be used as a carving knife, a splint
maker, to whittle out an improvised lit
ter, or for any one of the thousand and
one purposes .or which a good jack knife
comes in. The hospital corps will be
supplied with the new knife at once, and
will then be drilled in its varied applica
tions.
t
Tho Liverpool Mercury predicts a halt
in the prosperity of Great Britain. 11
remarks: “There was imported of raw
j material for textile manufacture nearly
$4,750,000 worth less in August of this
year than in the August of last year,
j This naturally means a growing decrease
presently in textile exports. The de
crease is alarming in amount. It is not
far from twenty-five per cent, on the
month. The trade, in other words, bids
fair to shrink to three-quarters of its
dimensions last year.”
The Boston Traveler says: “Most oi
tlie New England colleges have larger
Freshman classes than usual. Some of
them have all they can comfortably
care for. This crowding is notably the
case with those institutions exclusively
for women, or where women are re
ceived on the same terms as of
the other sex. Never have so many
women been seeking a liberal education
as now, aud a large proportion of them
purpose to enter some one of the pro
fessions open to that sex.”
The Buffalo bug of New England is
the latest pest scut to a iiict the house
keepers of that section. The Buffalo
bug is a swell. He never comes down
stairs to the diningroom. The parlor
and boudoirs are good enough for him.
He bores tiny and beautifully-edged
holes in everything that you hold dear.
Moreover, he is aristocratic arm artistic.
He loves bright things, and, like the
maidens the poet speaks of, is attracted
by glare. His first home was in the
Turkish rugs, and, strange to say, for
other folks besides New Englanders
have rugs, he hasn’t popped up any
where but in New England.
“A large fruit dealer in New York,”
according to the Commercial-Advertiser,
“after due examination of both locali
ties, gives as his deliberate opinion that
both in soil and climate as a fruit State
Nor th Carolina is the equal of any in the
Union, not even excepting California,
and instances the tide-water belt, where
small fruils delight to grow, the first
table land that is the chosen home of the
[reach, the second where the grape grows
on forever, and a scuppernong vine, the
size of a man’s body, is no uncommon
sight, and the mountain region where
all plants may be grown, but where the
apple reaches such a size and flavor as
goes far to explain the temptation of
Mother Eve.”
Among the recent decrees made in
France is one relating to the inspection
of butter for the repression of fraudulent
dealings. By this, special persons are
authorized to take samples of butter in any,
place, whether the butter is exposed for
sale, stored in a warehouse, or in transit
by land or w ater. No obstacle is to be
thrown in the way of this, and all way
bills, receipts, bills of lading, or decima
tions must be shown on demand. Each
sample taken is to be subject to a special
examination (proces verbal) . Pure butter,
mixed butter, margarine, oleomargarine
and grease intended for consumption,
forwarded in transit, must be contained
m closed packages and the origin and
merchandise must be conspicuously
specified thereon. In every way the ar
ticle to be exported must have its full
history recorded.
The Bangor (.Me.,) Industrial Journal
says that Judge Oliver Wendell Holmes,
Jr., of the Massachusetts Supreme Court,
gave utterance to some excellent com
mon sense in a recent decision on that
“bugbear of fools.” speculation. A man
who had tried his hand at speculating in
grain and meat had come out on the
wrong side of the transaction, and he
endeavored to “back out” on the ground
that dealings of that kind were in viola
tion of the law against gambling. Judge
Holmes decided against him, ruling in
effect, that the selling of property be
fore the day of delivery is perfectly
legal, and that speculation is not gam
bling. The Judge remarked “that
speculation was the life of commerce,
inasmuch as the daring of enterprising
men who have risked their fortunes on
the future had led to almost every event
in modern times which has contributed
to advance civilization and increase the
comforts of mankind.”
Some curious facts about teeth are put
forth by Mrs. Alice Bodiugton in the
Popular Science Monthly. SShe says, in
substance, that, owing to the extraordi
nary development of the modern brain,
it requires all the available room in the
skull, and there is no space left for the
attachment of muscles for a powerful
jaw. Cooked food ah o causes a degen
eracy in the development of the jaw.
There is, consequently, no room left for
either the wisdom teeth or the second
upper incisors; the wisdom teeth are re
tarded, often cause great pain and decay
early. In the same way men, and the
manlike apes, have fewer teeth than the
lower monkeys, and these again fewer
than the insectivorous mammals to which
they are most nearly allied. This is a
new argument for evolution. As a man
rises in the scale of civilization and in
tellectual improvement his teeth disap
pear. Is it possible that teeth can be
educated out of the human frame, and
will the time come when the perfect man
will have no natural teeth at all? That
will be a big day for the modern den
tist.
EXPERIENCE.
Tlie world was made when was born,
He must taste for himself the forbidden
springs,
He can never take warning from old fash
ioned things.
He must fight as a boy, he must drink as a
youth,
He must kiss, he must love, he must swear to
the truth
Of tho friends of his soul; he must laugh to
scorn
The hint of deceit in a woman's eye
That are clear as the wells of Paradise.
And so be .goes on imtlUthe. world grows old,
Till his tongue has grown cautious, his heart
has grown cold;
Till the smile leaves his mouth and the ring
leaves his laugh,
And hostiirks the bright headache you asked
him to qualF.
He grows formal with men and with women
polite,
And distrusted of both when they’re out of
his sight,
Then he eats for his palate and drinks for his
head
And loves for his pleasure, and ’tis time he
were dead.
—John Boyle O'Reilly.
AN ACCIDENT S SEQUEL.
BY EVELYN TIIOBP.
A young woman wearing a substantial
broad-brimmed hat tied down over her
ears drove briskly along a country road
on the high front seat of a lumbering
farm wagon. At a bend the old turn
pike took she observed something dark
aud shapeless, which on a nearer view
resolved itself into the prostrate figure
of a man lying in the grass-grown ditch
of the roadside. The man’s face was
partially concealed by one out-flung
arm, and he appeared to have fallen, as
the expression goes, all in a heap. The
young woman pulled up her horses
sharply and turned her well-cut profile,
which disappeared under the Gothic
arch of her poke, with a strorg look
of disgust toward the recumbent
form. Her whole disdainful visage said
“Drunk.” as plainly as the formulated
word could have said it. Then some in
definite intuition caused her to change
her mind, and, the Levite giving place
to the bamaritaD, she threw the stout
lines over the dashboard, calling a per
emptory ‘-Whoa.” to her steeds, and
alighting dexterously from her elevated
position stooped and touched the man’s
arm. Some young women, bred to Softer
usages, might still have believed in a
case of far-gone inebriation. Not so
Mistress Kdith f ane. An instant’s sur
vey caused her to come to a different
cone usion. She took in a few details—
the tall riding boots, the whip which
had fallen a few paces further on, the hat
lying in a stubbly barley field at the
other side of the hedge—aud-with char
acteristic promptness ot reasoning she
concluded that this young gentleman had
been thrown from his horse; whether
little or much injured she could not tell
yet.
With firm but gentle hands she turned
"V; heavy, unconscious weight of the
Bukters and head, and laid this victim
an untoward accident fiat upon his,
Jfcck in the bottom of the ditch. Then
she raised his arms and began to work
them according to the rules urescribed
by the society of “First Help to the In
jured.” She was vejy calm and very
systematic, and after an interval she was
rewarded by seeing the young man’s eyes
slowly open.
Keturning consciousness brought at
first only a remote and total sense of
blankness—a sense of having picked up
life again with an hiatus
between. But upon this state of nega
tion there cut a wrenc h of renewed pain,
which caused the present and the actual
to leap back at a long bound.
“Don’t try to move until you collect
yourself a little,” said Mi-s Dane prompt
ly, in a voice whose modulations were at
once strong and soothing. “Are you in
pain? Yes? Ah, I see. A sprain—or
dislocation.” The young man had raised
himself into a sitting posture. “If you
could manage to rest your weight on the
other foot —I could help you into the
w agon—it’s just a step —try. please.”
“You’re more than kind,” murmured
he. “It is very awkwark. I’m afraid
I’m going to have a great deal of
trouble.” The excuses were cut short by
that inexorable wrenching, and boring
and tearing.
“We won’t speak of that,” said the
young lady in the concise tone of a per
son who looks upon life in a business
like way.
After considerable difficulty the tran
sit to the wagon was effected, and Miss
Lane, having piled up some empty flour
bags into a pillow, disposed a few others
skilfully as a rest to the suffering limb,
and prepared to mount to her i-eat again.
But she paused and returned with a hat
and whip in her lhnd.
“I nearly forgot these,” she said, smil
ing. And Kendall noticed for the first
time the lair coloring and fine regularity
of the face beneath the capacious poke,
noticed also, through the vague veil of
his dazed senses, that she had remark
ably fine, wholesome-looking teeth.
“Are hats and whips necessary to peo
ple who drive in ambulances?” he in
quired, feebly.
tihe laughed frankly, and, finally re
gaining her place, drove slowly and care
fully away.
* * * *
“I never knew what delightful things
farmyard sounds were,” murmured Ken-
Mall, drowsily. The soft clucking of
hens seemed to permeate the hazy air.
There was a buzzing of much-busied
wasps about the eaves of the columned
and porticoed porch. The late Septem
ber sunshine burned with a mellow and
intense and vivifying warmth.
Miss Hopkins, seated near, with a
piece of knitting going on at lightning
pace in her shriveled brown fingers,
peered over at her guest from her little
shrewd be spectacled eyes. She had a
round face, seamed by three or four un
compromising furrows, and, for the rest,
smooth and firm, and possessing a certain
hardy freshness and juveuescence, like
that of a late winter apple. Her black
hair, with a silver thread here and there,
lay gummed aud fiat and shiny to her
pate like some novel sort of cap of su
perlatively tine fit.
“I suppose they’re kind of pretty when
you hear them for the first time,” she
replied.
“That proviso of yours betokens a
profound knowledge of human nature,
Miss Hopkins,” said the young man. re
spectfully. “Although, at this moment,
lamin a mood which makes me feel
that they may be delightful even after
one had heard them many thousands of
times; a mood wh ch makes me wonder
how civilized men can prefer the din of
cities to the quiet chanr; at first
hand.
Miss Hopkins ’Find her
spectacles. In laughing --s-Ji 5.3 d a way
of throwing back her head and of cover
ing her mouth. Kendall, in his first
languid hours, of convalescence, had oc
cupied himself by wondering whether
this were a precaution calculated to
guard.against any chance displacement
of the phenomenal row of false teeth, as
regular and white as a row of absolute y
new tombstones, which graced Miss Hop
kins’s smile.
“Oh. you would Soon want to go back
to the city if you had to live here,” she
said shrewdly, and with a nodding of
the head which seemed to convey that
she understood what sort of a young
man she had before her. Edith Lane’s
aunt was no fool. What few human
pages had come under her observation
she had read wit’ll no lack of sound in
sight. And that she had read other
pages I eside, Kendall had discovered
from fragments of her conversation dur
ing her ministrations in the sick room,
aud had an hour ago had ocular demon
stration of, in addition, as he crawled
down stairs for the first time and made
his way into the “sitting room,” where,
on shelves, were the wotks of Emerson,
Channingand other New England lights
of transcendency, while various late
numbers of magazines strewed the table.
“I see that you, or your niece, are
readeis,” the young man remarked.
“Oh. yes, we both read a great deal
evenings when all the work 7 s been seen
to,” said Miss Hopkins. Aud Kendall
felt that his remark, as implying sur
prise, had been an impertinence.
When the old lady had installed her
charge comfortably in the sunlight, and
insisied upon wrapping him in a super
fluity of shawls which made him feel
more of an old woman than his hostess,
Mrs. Hopkins went on:
“Edith had always been a great girl
for study. Her mother —poor Fanny
was my youngest sister—was 1 ke her;
but shedidn’t get so much time, for .Mr.
Lane wasn't very successful with the
farm just first off, and there was so much
always to do. But Edith she was from
the first kind of bright and strong, and
she seemed to do everything easily.
After her mother died she took to help
ing her father on the farm, and when he
died and she camp back from high school
she just laid hold, and she says to me,
‘Now, Aunt Judith, don’t you think we
can make the farm run between us? I
don’t see why we shouldn’t. And so we
did. Edith knows as much as any good
fanner you can find anywhere around.
Why, there’* the horn for the hired
people’s dinner! I’d no idea it was
twelve o’clock. You’ll take your dinner
with Edith and me, Mr. Kendall? Edith
ain’t home yet, so I’ll have to go to see
to the men.” And she bustled off.
In the silence that followed, Kendall
fell to wondering how long it would be
before Edith came lrome. And at the
same moment he saw her team drive iu
between the two tall, gibbet-like posts
of the red gate.
Bhe had caught sight of him under
the porch, and came around to speak to
him. Bhe had taken off her poke bon
net, and her strong, healthy beauty, no
longer eclipsed, had never compelled
his admiration so ardently. Sha had
hung over her waist a little basket of
grapes.
“These are for you,” she said, smil
ing, and meeting hi 3 eyes with the direct
friendly glance of her own. “I got them
from a neighbor. Besides, I am afraid we
shan’t have very good ones this year.
We’ve had trouble with our vines.”
She had seated herself on the low
steps of the porch, and, falling into a
pleasant conversation with him, now
raised her eyes to look at him, now
turned her head with a graceful, arched
movement peculiar to her, to glance
absently over the yellowing lawn. The
returning life in Kendall’s veins opened
all his senses to the subtle charm of any
feminine presence which might appear
to him in the garb of youth aud beauty;
but here he seemed, in addition, to des
cry something unlike what he had ever
known, something capable yet sweet,
strong yet womanly, which, for some
time now, had had power to move him
strangely.
“This is a miserable business'.” he
burst out, brusquely, savagely. “What
a woful figure a man does make in
valided and propped up in pillows and
shawls!”
“Yes; I suppose it does hprt the manly
vanity,” she observed demurely, with a
twinkle under her fair lashes. They
were beautiful lashes—long and curly.
She was full of fine points. Kendall,
regarding her sitting there, half in sun
light, half in shadow, asked himself,
with a positive sense of disgust, whether
she must be left to harden, and perhaps
to coarsen, to' lose, in any case,
that rare quality of mind and per
son which made him think of the fair,
warlike Scandinavian goddesses and
Yalkyres in looking at her, under the
gradual, depoetizing in iuences of a cir
cumscribed, narrowing and withering
life. Who could tell? She might grow
to look like that worthy and excellent
person, her Aunt Hopkins! 1 his thought
brought a smile. His eyes wandered
from the firm contour of her half-averted
cheek to the long, capable looking hands,
brown, but shapely, twined about her
knee. No immediate danger of resem
blance there; still her complexion
would certainly “go.”
And then another idea suggested it
self. There was the possibility that she
might marry. Why, it was a probability;
it was a certainty!
Kendall's only available foot suddenly
cast off one of Miss Judith llopkin’s
shawls with tremendous vigor.
“Why—what is the matter?” inquired
Miss Lane, turning in surprise.
“I beg your pardon said her patient,
humbly. #
* . * *
The snow came late that year, but it
came with a will, and the persistence of
a fixed purpose, when at length it did
begin to fall.
“I don’t see how you are ever going to
get as far as the .Mills to-dav,” said Miss
Judith Hopkins one morning, looking
out upon a white world. “The wind’s
so high and the snow is drifting dread
fully.”
“Oh, I think we can manage it,” said
her niece. But when she began to wrap
f <«
up later en. and the crttcr drove to tli
door, Miss Hopkins had fresh misgiv*
ings.
“It isn’t as though she was just like
herself. She hasn’t been what you could
call real well for some time now,” she
thought when she had been left alone.
And in her journeys from the kitchen to
ttie milk cellar she fell to musing of
sundry things which had puzzled her of
late.
After the sunset there came a red glow
in the sky which turned the snow, in
sheltered places a polar blue. Edith
Lane, now facing cutting wind,
turned her horse’s head homeward. Sh
had not intended beings so late, but sh
had been detained. At first the cutte.
flew over the ground like a swallow.
But the snow, farther on, had drifted*
badly, aud the road gradually bad almost
disappeared. Edith J ane was not a
nervous girl. But she rejected that she
did not know every tree thereabouts as
she did around her own place, and that
as the light was fading momentarily, she
might presently find herself in a some
what awkward predicament.
As she peered through the gray, des
olate dusk, trying to gather her faculties
calmiy together, and to keep her self
possession and coolness, she heard in
the distance the jangle of sleigh bells.
When they had approached so near that
she could distinguish the dark outline
of this new cutter she called out imme
diately and the cutter stopped.
It struck her as a little singular that
one of the men—there were two —should
alight while she was speaking and come
toward her. The second man called out
in reply:
“I’m taking this gentleman there
now. If you want to follow me I guess
we’ll get there all right. I know the
way—”
But he paused in surprise, for his pas
senger and this unknown lady wrapped
in a sealcloth coat and cap seemed to
know each other.
In truth Edith Lane was looking
through the gloom into Robert Kendall’s
face.
“You—you!” was all she could say.
“This is poetic justice—poetic cora
pensaiion,” cried the young man hilar
iously. “You dragged me out of a ditch
a few mouths ago. Miss Lane. Now fate
puts it into my power to drag you out
of a snowdrift. Will you take my place
in the cutter and let me have your reins?
For we are both going in the same direc
tion. Your destinat on is m ne.”
And she could make uo demur. She
had never though to meet him again,
much less to meet him as she had just
done. They had parted very differently
two months before. She would never
have betrayed herself had she not been
taken thus unawares; for she knew T that
she had betrayed herself. Even though
he could not have seen her face distinct
ly he must have known what made her
voice tsemble when she pronounced
those two words, and as soon as he had
spoken in his turn Edith Lane knew
that her secret was hers no longer.
When Miss Hopkins had recovered
from her boundless amazement —when
she had hastily opened a fresh jar of her
best preserves for the unexpected guest;
when supper was over and there had
been much cheerful conversation in
which she herself had participated so
largely that she scarcely noticed her
niece’s silence; and when the guest still
remained, it occurred to the worthy
woman that perhaps her presence was
required somewhere else in the house.
Then Kendall rose and, going cwpf
where Edith'Lane sat, leaned over her
chair.
“Are you going to send me away as
you did last autumn?” he inquired.
“What do you want of a raw country
girl for a wife:’’ she demanded, with
evasive irrelevancy.
“I told you last autumn.”
“And I told you that you were ”
“Weak and idiotic from illuess. Yes,
I remember.”
“Ohl I never ”
“Well, in substance that was about
what you meant. But though I may be
silly through the action of another cause
I am not silly from illness. You will
j have to treat me differently this time.”
“You had no right to take me by sur
prise as you did a little while ago!” she
cried, inconsequently again.
Kendall laughed.
“That was a wonderful piece of luck
for me. You can never deny again what
was in your eyes at that minute.”
“You can’t see my eyes.”
“Well, I can see them now, and ”
But Edith Lane, with a gesture very
unexpected in so self-reliant a young
woman, had hidden her eyes in a thick
coat sleeve very near her cheek—for
there were tears in them.— Mercury.
Believes Consumption Curable.
The most interesting feature of the
sessions of the convention of the
Horn opathic State Medical Society in
Hahnemann College, says the Philadel
phia Times, was the reading of a paper
by Professor Goodno, of Hahnemann,
College, on consumption. Professor
Goodno said :
“I have made investigations 'which
prove that the person afflicted with
phthisis elects the bacilla or germ from
the mouth iu breathing. The bacilla
are readily takeil into jthe mouth and
respiratory organ. I have no doubt but
that if we lived up to the knowledge of
this disease in our poscession we could'
very soon relegate it to a less important
position than it now holds. lam firmly
convinced that the disease, if treated
properly in its incipient stage, be
cured, and I do not believe that it is
hereditary. Undoubtedly every one of
us have inhaled the bacilla, but hav/
cs aped because oj our weli-nourishe,
tissues.”
. Freaks of Lightning.
Lightning performed a singular freak
among the cattle of W ashington
| Sclimeck, a farmer residing in buscumt
Manor Township, Berks County, Penn.,
the other day. The fluid passed dowt
I the lightring rod on the stable unti
near the ground, when it passed throng!
; a stone wall and killed the first of foul
j cows in one stall. Then the lightning
passed through a heap of straw’, but die
pnot ignite it. Cn the opposite side oi
the stable six cows were chained, ami
i from the first every other cow was struck
by the bolt and killed. It passed out
through th'e wall again, and a Holsteii
hull was made a victim. The h ivin'*
sank down on all four limbs dead, ii
which position Farmer Scheck found th.
animal. The stone wall was scarce!
torn. —Nets York limes.
' A SIMILE.
Rivers start from mountain springs;
Lives mature and then take wings;
They babble each down childhood’s way—
They twinkle and laugh, and glimmer and
play,
Then slip from their mountain mother's em
brace,
And wander about in a strange, wild place.
One foolishly thinks that a bank of flowers
Is the placo whore life leads the happiest
hours;
Buttercups, to its fancy, seem pure gold,
And bright dandelions are wealth untold.
So it goes that jvay; aDd the soft-seeming
moss
Is found to be thistles and tho gold mere
dross.
Another wanders o'er desolate p’ains,
And only waste places and barren fields
gains;
’Midst deserts wide, and rocks and sands,
Through comfortless and unknown lands;
And on its drear banks there bloorn no flow
ers,
To soften and sweeten the desolate hours!
One sings the song of the golden rule,
And the crystal drops are bright and cool,
Which it spatters and dashes on thirsty cows
As they stand, breast high, ’neatli the syca
more boughs.
It gathers force from streams and rill..
And turns tho wheels of giant mills.
Another is muddy and sluggish and slow,
In every one’s way where’er it may go;
It is bridged with patience and forded with
frowns, - -
And voted a nuisance by savants and clowns.
No beauty it ljas and no work does it do,
As it aimlessly runs its useless course
tlu ough.
Though one may be foolish, another be wise,
One the color of earth, another of skies.
Whatever their aims and amldtions may be,
They all find a way to the grave-like sea;
And into the wide ocean, Death, they are
tossed,
And their gains and their pains are forgot
_ ten aud lost.
—Detroit Fret Press.
HUM DR OF THE BAY.
The warmest season pepper.
A lump sum—The coal dea’er’s profits.
A rank deceiver—A visitiDg foreigner
With sham title.
The billy-goat wears a beard because
he is a goat-lie himself.
What is the board of education? The
Bchoolmaster’s shingle.
What sticketh closer than a brother?
A postage stamp, by gum.
If a youug lady’s maiden aim is suc
cessful, she has no maiden name.
Writing for the magazines is a business
that always yields big returns — Life.
It is probably the attention paid it
which makes the weather-vane. —Life.
What is the difference between an en
gineer and a school teacher? One trains
the mind and the other minds the train.
What is the difference between a
soldier aud a pretty woman? One faces
the powder aud the other powders the
face.
Day is not easily dscouraged.
Although it breaks at its very start, it
keeps right on just the same as if nothing
had happened.— Detroit Free Press.
The cobbler does not die, of course
When all his years are past,
Because it’s quite nnpossibls /;
For him to breathe his last.
—Bazar.
In Boston the neck of a chicken is
cn’led Napoleon, because it is the bony
part.— [Ahani/ Union.] That is funny;
and it is strange that the bony part in
cludes the Nape of the neck. Picayune.
Emma (to her intended) —“Just think,
Charlie, Judge Sipandso proposed to me
yesterday.” Charlie—“Wliat did you
say to him?” “I told him that I was
very sorry, but that I was already en
gaged.”— Teens Siftings.
Samaritan—“l see you have a card in
your window, ‘Help Wanted.’” Y T es,
sir; I put that there.” Samaritan —“-My
poor friend, why don’t you pocket your
pride and go at once to the uverseers of
the Poor?” —Lowell Courier.
“Had a nice time?” “Ya’as, rather.”
“Been doing the Continent?” “Well,
yes, if you like to put it that way, but
when I|look at my expense account i(j
rather steins as if the Continent had been
do.ng me. ” London Tid-Bits.
A Temporary Loan. —Chumley—“l’m
in a little fix, to day, Brown, for money;
what would you say if I were to ask
you for a temporary loan of a hundred
or two dollars.” Brown “Well, Chum
ley, if the loan will be temporary, I
might let you have the two dollars.”—
Accident News.
His First Offence.—Miss Gotham (to
Mr. Wabash, recently returned from
abroad) —“1 suppose you were at court
while iu London, Mr. Wabash?” Mr.
Wabash (uneasily;— “Well er —yes,
Miss Gotham, but only once, and then I
got off with a merely nominal fine.”—
Ha per's Bazar.
Bilkins —“I hope I am not in the way,
Miss Tompkyns.” Miss Tompkyns—
“Why, Mr. Bilkins, how can you sug
gest such a thing? You know l believe
iu even numbers. Polly and Charley
made two; Jack and I make four; you
and the dog make six. We are all paired
off nicely. " The Cartoon.
Patient Wife (of sick man) —“Mar*;,
bring in a glass with two tablespoOn
fuls.” Sick Man—“ Darn your hom io
pathic doses. You wan't to let me die
for want of medicine, don’t you? Mary,
bring in the glass half full.” Wife—
“JLis isn’t the whisky, dear; it’s tha
cod-liver oil.” “Oh!” — P/dJaaelphia
Record.
A young widow, in evecting a monu
ment to the dear departed, cleverly
avails herself of the opportunity to in
scribe upon the tomb: “Sa red to the
memory of Mathuzin Bczuchet, who de
parted'this lite, age snU-/-eight years,
regretting the necessity of parting from
ti e most charming of worneiy”— San
Fra/icisro Wasp.
“Talking about the sad condition of
the poor,” -aid a monopolist, “I’ve been
investigating of lale on my own account
and I find that the poor can purchase
more for their money now than they
could fifteen or twenty years ago. Why, 1
a iocomotive can he purchased for $lO,-
(1(H) now that would tiave cost $30,000
twenty year ago.”— Cartoon.