Newspaper Page Text
THE TRI-WEEKLY SUMTER REPUBLICAN.
Vol. 3.-No. 115-
T H K
Tri-Weekly Republican
IS PUBLISHED EVERY
Tuesdays, Thursdays & Saturdays,
CY
C!. ‘W. HANCOCK
EDrroß «t rnoruiKToß.
TERMS: $2 FOR THREE MONTHS
ItA/rKs or (Vi>vKUTisiNG.—Two Dollars a
Vtiuare, of ten litipH or Ictus for the first in
sertion. aud. One Dollar for each
insertion.
Professional Cards.
Bir^rsrissi
OFFERS his professional services to the
citizens of A morions *ind surrounding
'country Thankful for patronage heretofore
given him, he hopes by unremitting atten
tion to business to merit a continuance ol
the same.
Office next door to the Post Office.
July 14 ts.
BMU M* W* M (: iL£©LQ)
OFFERS liis professional services to (lie
citizeus of Americus aud surrounding
vicinity.
Office on the North East, corner of
the Public Square, where lie can be found
day and night. uuvr 11) ly ft
TmE Q I C A L .
Dr. A. D. BRUCE,
OFFICE at F. M. COKER'S, opposite the
Post Office. All calls left there, will
receive prompt- attention. june 7 lm.
H@o A . L€)IF IT © M „
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
AMERICUS, GEORGIA-
Office in Masonic Fuildiiig, rp stair
mar 10 ly.
winuM Hw
Atlornry at Lan,
Amerfens, Georgia.
in Masonic Hall.
•lan. 18 ts.
D(O)©IE!PIM3 AIMISILIEYg
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
AND
REAL ESTATE AGENT.
Amerious, . - . ■ . Georgia.
U r l LL give prompt attention to proses.
\ ! sionai business in Sumter, Schley, Web
*!er, Lee, aud Terrell counties, except cases
in t lie County Court of Sumter County.
Office in the Court House. June U ts.
C T. Goode,
ATTOi: NE Y A T LANV ,
Americus, Georgia.
jan 15 ts
James J. Scarborough,
Attorney at Law,
AMERICUS, GEORGIA.
OFFICE in Masonic building, up stairs. En
trance between U W. Fmith & Cu's Con
fectionery, and Ford’s store. jan 19 ts
COMMERCIAL AGENCY.
© 0 Uu EilAWONij
ATTORNEY & COLLECTOR,
Americus, Georgia.
1 PROPOSES to devote himself mainly to
conveyancing and commercial practice.
Will keep dockets shewing progress of oases
from commencement of suits to settlement
of claims, at all times subject to inspection
of parties, and oooks showing every business
transaction. No pains spared to make his
office the first collecting office in I lie coun
try. Liberal patronage solioited. Office in
Fpeer & Hook's Building. Aug 2 ts.
Dr. W. W. FORD,
Surgeon and Mechanical
DENTIST.
TJS ENEWS the tender of his thanks to his
numerous friends of South West Geer
gia, for tlieir liberal patronage the last elevs
en years ill Americus, and respectfully in
forms them that his office is a permanent in
stitution of this place. He is now prepared
to perform all operations in Surgical or Me
chanical Dentistry in the best and most du
rable manner.
lie spares neither time or expense in kcepi
ring fully up witli liis Profession. His pat
rons will receive the benefits of all the ini'
provements that arc made and that areudopt
e 1 by the Dental Colleges and Scientific por
tion of the Profession in Europe and A.mer
• ica.
He has Prof. Barker's improved apparatus
for generating Nitrous Oxide, Protoxide of
Nitrogen or Laughing Gas, anew Antesthe
< tic agent, not so dangerous as Chloroform or
Ether when inhaled. He has Dr. Welsh’s
improved Narcotic Spray instrument for pro
ducing Local Anaesthesia, with Ether or
Bhigoleue, this instrument is being univer
sally adopted by Surgeons and Dentists in
<Burfiv>e and America, giving great satisfac
tion. It is very simple and perfectly harm
less to the most delicate and fragile constitu
tions, it is therefore preferred to Etlior,
. Chloroform or Nitrous Oxide.
His office is at his private residence, near
Johnson’s ife Harold’s Warehouse. His of.
: fice is comfortable, quiet aud pleasant. La
dies having dental operations performed can
enjoy all the privacy of home.
N. B. From and after this date he will be
found at his office at all times from sunrise
nuntil sunset.
Americus, Ga., March 28th, ts
W. L. WADSWORTH
WHOLESALE ASJ) RETAIL
DEALER IN
HARDWARE,
€ U T I.GRY,
Am;. Ae. Ac.
A M HR ICUS yfiF-OROI A.
fT!HE subscriber thankful for the liberal
1 patronage heretofore extended him,
would respectfully inform the citizens of
Americus and the putdic generally, that he
has in store, aud to arrive
15 0
STOVES,
OF EVERY DESCRIPTION.
BUILDER’S
MATERIAL
NAILS,
LOCKS,
HINGES,
GLASS,
PUTTY.
PAINTS,
and
Wood and Willow Ware
POT W.AUI-;,
Douse 4fitrntsljin§ (Booii.o,
Plated and Japancd Wares, &c.
BSsy-Ajl of wltieli will be sold at aJLom
prices as can he purchased anywhere Soulß
Roofing and Guttering
DONE IN THE BEST WOKKMANLIIK
manner and WARRANTED. j
TIN-WARE !
Manufactured, and for .sale low lor Cu>li.
april 20 ts
Mi 11 s I I oiise,
Corner Queen and Meeting Streets
CHARLESTON, S. C.
This first class hotel iias been
thoroughly repaired, re-iltted and re-fur
nished throughout, and is now ready the
accommodation of the travelling public,
whose patronage is respectfully solicited.
Coaches *1 ways in read incss to convey pas
sengers to and from the Hotel.
The Proprietor promises to do all in his
power for the accommodation of liis guests.
JOSEPH PURCELL,
teb 12 ts Proprietor.
J. B. bTEF.LK, I C. U NOBTH,
A. W. WAItDKLL. j Nt’VY Yolk.
south, Mini: & if.mill,
WHOLESALE DEALERS IN
FAH€Y <30688.
STATIONERY, I PERFUMERY, CUTLERY,
Hosiery,
White Goods,
Furnishing Goods,
Embroidery, &c.
No 107 MEETING STREET,
mar 12 8m CHARLESTON, S. C.
.T. KM.ISON AUGER, | E. I>. ROBINSOX,
A. MCI). BROWK, f H. H. MOFFETT,
J. ADOBE SMYTH.
J. E.~ADGER CO.,
Direct Importers and Dealers in
HARDWABB, 6BTLERY, HIS,
Bar Iron, Steel, Nails,
AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS, See.
No. 139 MEETING STREET,
Near Charleston Hotel, and No. 62 EAST BAY !
CHARLESTON, S. 0.
mar 12 3m
PH I*. 11. MITCHELL. W. K. PIISBCBT.
P. H, MITCHELL & CO.
(At the Sign of the Yellow Coffee Pot.)
AMERICUS GA.
| JAS IN STORE A LARGE LOT OF
Sound White Corn.
Their Stock of
GRO€ ERI E 8
IS COMPLETE.
They are -manufacturing Wholesaleand lie
tail
TINWARE
Give them a call. may 9 ts
Americus, Georgia, Saturday, .July 6, 1867.
Atlanta Advertisements.
AmmicAW hoim,
ALABAMA STREET,
ATLANTA GEORGIA.
WHITE & WHITLOCK,
I'BcrBICTORS
Bryson and lVuzv, Clerks. ma
NATIONAL HOTEL, ~
Corner Whitehall Street and W. A. Railroad,
ATLANTA, GEORGIA.
PRATT, POND & COREY, Proprietors.
A Newly Erected, Commodious, First
Class Hotel, Elegantly Furnished throughout.
Fine Billiard Parlor with Phelan Tables.
Bar stocked with Choice Liquors and Wines,
mar 12 ly
J. T. JENKINS & CO.,
Wholesale Dealers in
lining Quints, Chemicals,
OILS, WINDOW GLASS,
MIST 111. M, it
Corner of Prior and Alabama Streets,
I Atlakta, : : : : Gkougia.
mar 12 3m. J
EOEGIA STATE LOTTERY.
FOR THE
BENEFIT OF THE
‘MASONIC ORPHAN’S HUiYI .’
The Legislature of the State of Georgia, at
its last sea-ion, granted to W W. Boyd, and
others, a Giant, lo adopt a Lottery, or seiies* f
Lotteries and Agencies, to raise money fur the
purpose of building a Home for, and support
ing Indigent Widows and Orphans the. Home
to be called the “ MASONIC ORPHAN’S
HOME*'
The grantees have associated with them, as
a Board of Managers, some of the best citizens
of the State, in the great woik of benevo
lence and chaiity.
We call the attention of the publie to the
Grand ScriEMK below, and ask your patronage
In purchasing Tickets, you will remember
that should you faii to draw a prize, that your
money vvill be stiictly aud Mason ica Ily ap
plied to a charitable woik.
c o i* g- i a St a I c I, «11 cr v,
FOR THE BENEFIT
OF THE
“MASONIC ORPHAN'S HOME! *’
To be Diawn in open public at
ATLANTA GEORGIA.
Wednesday, May 15th, 1867—Class B.
Wednesday, Juno 19th, 1867—Class C,
Wednesday, July 17th, 1867—Class D
SCHEME THE SAME FOB EACH MONTH, I
1 Piizsof . $50,000 is $30,000;
1 i me. of 20,000 is 20 000
1 Ptizeof 10,000 is 10.000
1 Prise of 5.000 is 5,000 I
1 Piizeof 2,500) .- ftrn !
1 Prize of 2,500 f alo t> ’ 000 i
24 Prizes of 500 are 12,000
65 Prizes of 250 aie 13.750;
125 Prizes of 2000 are 25.000
100 Prizes of 100 are 10,000
APPROXIMATION PRIZES.
9 Approximation Prizes of SoCO
each for the nine remaining units of
the same ten of the No. drawing cc
$50,000 Prize are 4,500
9 Approximation Prizes of , ; 250
each for the nine remaining - itsof
the same ten of the No. drawing the
$20,000 Pi iza are 2 230
9 Approximation Prises of S2OO
each for the nine remaining units of
the same ten of the No. drawing the
SIO,OOO Prize are - 1,800
9 Approximation Prizes of SIOO
each for the nine remaining units of
the same ten of the No. drawing the
$5 000 Prize are 0
18 Approximation Prizes of SIOO
each for the nine remaining units of
the same ten of the Nos. drawing the
$2,500 Prizes are 1,800
424 Prizes, amounting to 168,000
Whole Tickets sl2 ; Halves SO : Quarters $2 ;
Eighths $1 50.
HF” All the Prizes above stated are drawn
at Every Drawing.
P IST
OF THESE GREAT LOTTERIES. AND EX
TLANATION OF DRAWING,
The numbers from 1 to 30,000 correspond
ing with the numbers on the Tickets, are
printed on separate slips of paper and encir
cled with small tubes, and placed in a glass
wheel. All the Prizes in accordance with
the Scheme, are similarly printed and enein- 1
cled, and placed in a glass wheel. All the
Prizes, in accordadce with the Scheme, aioj
similarly priuted and encirciad, and placed in
another glass wheel. The wheels are then
revolved, and two boys, b indfolded, draw
the Numbers and Prizes. One of the beys
draws one number from the wheel of Num
bers, and at the same time the other boy j
draws out one Prize from the wheel of Prizes.
The number and prize drawn out are exhibit
ed to the audience, and whatever ptize comes
out is registered and placed to the c-c it
of that number ; and this operation is re -a -
ed until ail the prizes are drawn out.
The Tickets are printed in the follow .o"
style : They are divided into Quarters r
Eights, printed on the face of the Ticket.—
Four Quarters or eight Eights, bearing ti>-
same number, constitute a Whole Ticket.
|fig° Prizes payable without discount.
W. W. 10YD,
Deputy Grand Master, Principal Manger
Atlauta, Ga.,
tur Orders for Tickets by mail or Express
to be addressed to
L K. BROADBENT Ageut.
Or W. W. BOYD, Principal Managt-e
L. A- SMITH, Agent for Americus
Office oposile post Office.
March 14 3m.
AMERICAS ADVERTISEMENTS.
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
C onfectioi iei*s,
AND DKALKR.i IN
Candies, Fruits, Toys,
AND AM. KINfiS OF
wW/J Frtml> Si
1 1
PRESERVES, |
ill FINE CIGARS, ;
IC • EWING j
AI.SO ,V L.UUJK ASSORTMENT OF
PEIiFUMEIYY,
TOILET
and * FANCY ARTICLES
A LARGE LOT OF
PIPES
OF EVERY DESCRIPTION.
2®* Fresh BREAD and CAKES
always on Land.
Social and Wedding Parties
supplied at the shortest notice.
Give us a call. april 4 ts
House and Lot
For Sale or Rent.
mUE House and Lot formerly orenpied by
1 Joseph Block. S. COHEN, Ageut.
Macon, Ga,, April 10th, 1867.
I hereby authorize Mr. S. Cohen, legal
Agent of my House and Lot in Americus, Ga ,
to lent or sell the same on my account,
may 18 ts L EMANUEL.
“OLD MRS. BAILEY’S SOaST”
IS STILL IN T O W \.
AT THE
o -w elr y Stoiro
OF
BAILEY & TINSLEY,
WHO k p ep on hand and have constantly arriving, a well selected assortment of
Wa _hcs, Clocks, Jewelry of all kinds. Shot Guns. Pistols. Pistol Cartridges of j
all kinds. Percussion Caps, Ac., &c. WATCH TVORK CANNOT BE
EXCELLED. “AftiS Persons wishing to have their Watches, Clocks, or Jewelry
WELL repaired hy experienced workmen, who cannot be excelled in this portion’ of the
State, will do well to call on them. SPECTACLES, of all kinds, constantly on hand,
gfiy” All work done at the shortest notice and WARRANTED.
inarch 16 ts
L. A. SMITH,
GROCERY MERCHANT,
No. 8. LOYLESS’ BLOCK.
OPPOSITE THE POST OFFICE.
JTEEPS CONSTANTLY ON JJAND,
Flour., Coffee, Sugar, Bacon, Meal,. Salt,
Lard, Cheese, Tobacco, Cigars,
ami ev«ry other article usually found in a Grocery
Store. Alao,
Osnaburgs, Sheeting, Shirting, Boots,
Shoes, &e., <fcc.
All of which can be purchased on as reoa>nal»le terms
as at any house in tho placo. Planters and others need
ing Groceries of any kind, are invited to call and exanp
ine my stock. Thankful for pant favors, I solicit a coa
tinuii.ee of the same, at inv new locution.
1.. A. SMITH,
jau 10 ts No. 8 Loyless’ Block.
T HI.
FINEST and LARGEST
STOCK Op’
Carriages,
Buggies,
& Harness,
Ever in South Western Georgia, now on ex
hibition at
WM. SIRRINE’S
uuiumuns befbsitbby.
Our best recommendation is that we WAR
RANT AL LOUR OWN MANUFACTURES.
Those wishing ro purchase nnylhiug in our
lino will do well to call and examine our
stock before going elsewhere Having bad
long experience in the manufacturing of
Buggies and Harness, wo fee! authorized to
say that we cut compete with any market in
pticc, style and wofkniaiiship To enable us
to do this, we use the host Eastern Timber,
Finest Case Hardened Axles and English
Tempered Springs.
We keep constantly on hand a complete as
sortment of
Spvings, Poles,
Axles, Harm ss Mount’g,
Iron, Harness Leather,
FOIIOO3, Ornaments,
Hubs, Pat. Leather,
Spokes, Enani Leather,
Shafts, Whips, &c.
We desire to return to onr customers, who
have favored us with their liberal patronage,
our thanks, and hope to merit a continuance
of the same. TVM. SIRRINE.
juue 11 ly.
J W. ItEMLKY. C. BE WAAL.
STOVES,
TINWARE,
POT WARE
AND
House Furnishing Goods,
R.EMLEY & CO.
NEXT DOOR TO G. w HAY’S STORE,
[ IAVE just received a Jarpo lot of Cooking
11 Stoves, which they will Full at lower pri
ces then they have been sold for heretofore
in this njaiket.
Shed Iron, topper and Zinc w ork
done lo order.
TIN WARE
H SI OLEB AL E AN l> RE T All.
AT LOW FIGURES.
ROOFING! GUTTERING, etc , made a spe..
dairy, aud attended to in any part of South
western Georgia. Work warranted.
J. W. Rem ley attends to all work in par
son. april 27. if
Stevens House.
21, 23, 25 and 27 Broadway, N. Y.
Oppoelto Bowling Green,
ON THE EUROPEAN PLAN.
rpilE STEVENS HOUSE is well and
I widely known to the travelling public.
The location is especially suitable to mer
chants and business men ; it is in close prox
imity to the business part of the city—is on
the highway of Southern and Western travel
—and adjacent to all the principal Railroad
and Steamboat depots.
The Ptevens House has liberal accommoda
tion for over 300 guests—it is well furnished,
and possesses every modern improvement
for the comfort and entertainment of its in
states. Tito rooms are spacious and well
provided with gas and water —
the attendance is pjompt and respectful—and
the table is generously provided with every
delicacy of the season—at moderate rates.
jjS?* The rooms having been refurnished
anßt'cmodeled, we nre enabled to offer extra
facilities for the comfort anil pleasure of our
Guests, GEO. K. CHASE A- po,
may 30 6m.
To Tlie Ladies.
MISS SUSAN NOBLES
’j’AKKS this occasion of informing the La.
1 dies of Americus and Sumter county, that
she is prepared to cut, fit and mike dresses
for Ladies and Childten, in the
YEII Y LAT ES T
ANa MCIST
FASHIONABLE STALE.
She invites the ladies to call and examine her
beautiful patterns, at her father’s Dental of
fice, in the Granberry building. She feds
confident of given satisfaction,
may 9 ts
Metallic Hurin! Eases.
A FINE ASSORTMENT, kept constant,
ly on hand. S. P. BOONE, Ag’t.
July 2 4tf
NEW
DRUG STORE
AND
O onlectionex*y
AT
Smithville, Lee Co.,G-a.
11. C. BAILEY & CO.,
f RESPECTFULLY invite the attention of
_IA< Planters and Physicians to their large
and well assorted Stock of unadulterated
Medicines,
Chemicals,
Dings,
r.tints,
Oils,
And all other articles in the Drug line.
00U. 111 the CONFECTIONERY depart
ment wa have on hand and arc constantly re
ceiving a fresh supply of Candies, Nuts, Rai
sins, aud everything usually kept in a first
class confectionery. H. C. B. & CO.
FINN’S HOTEL!
(Formerly Atncricus Hotel.)
Amerious,; Georgia.
r PHE undersigned, Proprietor of the above
1 Hotel, now offers lo the public entertain
ment not to be surpassed in Southwestern
Georgia.
His tooms arc kept i;i good older, ami his
table bountifully supplied with the best the
country affords.
Every attention is paid to his patrons by
hiscleik, Mr. Robert Tunde, and servants.—
He is determined to give satisfaction.
I’.is-cngeis stopping at this house are con
veyed to atm fiom the depot, free of charge.
The Proptietor w ill be always g’ad to see
trite representatives of the Press at his Hotel,
may 9 ts. JOHN FINN.
Dental ISTotice
rjAllE undersigned respectfully invites the
attention of his old friends and commu
nity at large, that, he is now prepared to du
both mechanical aud operative dentistry.—
Having given those branches of Dental Science
his attention for a number of years, he can
promise all who may give him their patron
age. that their Work will be done in tho very
best and latest style. His materials ure ot
lie best selection Teeth mounted on vulcan
ite base from one ta a full set. He guaranties
to give perfect satisfaction, both in fitting anil
beauty, lie also uses tlievitrous oxide iu ex
tracting teeth, which is better adapted for
that purposetlmn anything now know lo the
age- '
BSfh-Walches can also be repaired dring
leisure hours, by the undersigned, with neat
ness. All work warranted.
Office tip stairs in the corner us the new
Hotel building, fronting the Telegraph office
and adjoining Boon's furniture store.
Mar. 19-ts. DR. J. NOBLE.
FRAGRANT
GLYCERINE
COMPOUND.
New Article for the Toilet!
Healing and Soothing,
Pleasant to Use.
A Fine Pet funic.
REMOVES Eruptions and Roughness <-f the
tikin, Freckles, Sunburn, Tan, Chapped
Face, Lips and Hands, almost like magic.
Asa Domestic to Soften, Whiten and Beau
tify the Skin, it is unequaled ! Try it 1
Prepared only by J. S PEMBERION & CO.,
Columbus, Ga., aud sold in Americus. by
Dr. li J. ELDRIDGE.
aud Dr. H C. BAILEY,
april 13 Gm *
Wagons i Wagons!
FOR SALE.
ONE TWO-HORSE wagon, new and war
ranted, in every respect.
Also, One FOUR-HOUSE Wagon strong
and serviceable. Both to be seen ot Mr.
Price’s Warehouse, and will be sold re ry
cheap for cash, or Warehouse acceptance.—
Apply to J. Y. PRICE, on the premises,
june 22 ts
_A-. S. CTJTTS,
Broker and Commission Merchant,
AMERICUS, GA,
‘\X7TLL pay tlie highest market price for
vv cotton,
Cash advances made on cotton consigned
W. Bryce & Cos., New York- «oy ‘Ji ts
Groceries.
A GENERAL assortment of Groceries and
Provisions, will be kept constantly on
hand and sold low. Those who prefer can
furnish us funds, and we will older supplies
for them from the West, free of charge. We
intend to do our best for the interest of cur
customers. Give us a trial,
jan 31 ts TOOLE. SCHUMPERT & CO.
Attention Invalids !
HAVE cn hand at the Grain Emporium,
15 llbls. RYE FLQIR,
the very article for the dy&peptio, which I
will sell at figures astonishingly low.
Also, Flour, different grades, for family
use at reduced prices, to close out a consign
ment, and a fine lot of Tobacco. Planters
would consult their interest by giving me a
call.
A large supply of Tenuessee BACON and
CORN always on hand,
june 29 ts. t&w. M. 11. STEPHEN’S.
NICKERSON’S
mmm.
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA.
fti- Refurnished and opened October Ist,
1860. mar 12.
Whole ISTo. 374.
HUMOROUS
23?" Brownlow never knew bis pi* oe,
and it is to be hoped that his place wfli
soon know him no more forever.
235?" The Radicals want to make a
new reconstruction law for fear the South
may be reconstructed.
23?' To prevent your hair from com
ing out, never let your wifecatch you kis
sing another woman.
23F“ “Mr. Jones, why do you wear
that had bat ?” “Because, my dear sir,
Mrs. Jones vows she will not go out of
the house until I get anew one.”
Your master at home? No sir, he’s,
out. Mistress at home? No air, she’s
out. Tbon I'll step in antfr sit by the
fire. Thai’s out too, sir.’ 1
Two young ladies holding converse ever
the virtues of o new dress. “And does
it fit well ?’asked one. Fit? Yes, as if
I’d been melted and poured in !’’
Prentice says;
‘Tis a pity that the elections in the
South cannot take pluoe at this time, for
although the negroes they uro strong
now, they will be stronger in tbo dog
days.
.-3?" Wendell Philips says that he
would ra'her «aoothe than irritate tbo
South. Oh yes, ho would no doubt rock
her to rest —just as the Jews did St Ste
phen,
23P*’ The proprietor of a cotton facto
ry put this notice on his gate : No Se
gars or good looking meu admitted. In
explanation he said ; The one will act a
flame agoing among my cotton and the
other among my girls. I won’t admit
such dangerous things into my establish
ment. The risk is too great'.
&&" A short time since the following
appeared ;
Why is beard like common sensei’
Because no woman possesses it.
At which a lady correspondent “goes
for it” In the following manner:
Why is the uuthor of the above like a
worn out instrument of musio?
Because lie is an abandoned lyre (liar.)
251 s " -I well-dressed young lady aston
ished (he natives of St. Louis last Sunday
by begging a hotel waiter to marry her,
and_offercd him SIOO down with promise
of more, if he would ascent. He ascent
ed, but the proprietor kicked him out of
the house. Next day the youDg Indy
became a mother, and her queer offer vraa
no longer a mystery.
Tho Duke of. ——, of pompous nc
i toriety and parsimonious celebrity, supe
i rinlends personally the produce of his
I dairy and, not uufrequently sells the
! uiilk to (he village children with his own.
hands. One morning a pretty littlo gtrl
presented her penny and her pitcher to
his grace for milk. Pleased with the sp
pearancc of the child, he patted her on
head and gave her a kiss. “Now,” said
he, “my pretty lass, you may toll as long
| as you live that you have been kissed by
j a duke.” “Ah, but,” replied th 6 child,
j “you took tbe penny though 1”
A man Lad received a large lot of lob
sters, fresh and lively, when a boy stood
looking at the critters, accompanied by
his dog. “Supriose you put your dog’s
tail between the lobster’s claws,” said the
man. “Agreed,” said tbe boy. The peg
was extracted from the claws, aud the
dog’s tail inserted. Away went the dog
of bogie, howling at the squoesw his taijl
gat from the lobster. “Whistle your
dog back, you young scamp,” said the
man. “Whistle your lobster back, cried
the boy, and absquatulated,
“Madam,” said a husband to his young
wife, 'in a litt'e altercation which will
spring up in the best regulated families,
“when a man and his wife have quarellej)
and considers the other at fault,
which ot the two ought to advance fq
wards a reconciliation.” “Tho best na?
tured of the two,” said the wife, putting
up her mquth for a kiss, which was giv
en with an unction. She was the con
queror.
The first time Jerrold saw a celebrated
song writter, the latter said to him :
“Youngster, have you sufficient cqnfi
dcnce in me to lend me a guinea?” “Oh,
yea,” said Jerrold, “I haveaß the confi
dence, but haven’t the guinea.”
Uncle—Have you read that article in
the Literary Album about chignons, Joe?
—Foppish Nephew,—Haw ! extwatets.
Yes, gwegowines! fwightful ideaw !
Why, it isn’t safe to go to church, posi
tively, with ladies!
B schoolmaster in a village, where the
custom of “boarding round” prevails, re
cently received notice from a Dutch
matron that she “would eat him, but
couldn’t sleep him. He will doubtless be
careful not to venture within her reaoh.
The last fashion in Paris seems to cap
the climax of ridicule. It is tho Dew
form cf announcing a birth; “Monsieur
de X—has the honor to inform you of
his birth, which took p'aco day before
yesterday. He and his mother are as
well as may be expected.”
Douglas Jerrold calls women's arms
“the serpents that wind about a man’s
neck, killing his best resolutions.” Tho
“oldest inhabitant”says he don’t objegt
to them kind o’ serpents.
