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By D. B. Freeman; Proprietor.
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rue Year ..:.;..$i2.00
Six Months ;..:n..1.00
Ten copies one year 3 00
Commutiicatibii& on matters of pub
lic interest solicited.
gnUroiut jfrbedult.
WESTERN & ATLANTIC RAILROAD.
DAY PASSENGER TRAIN —OUTWARD.
Leave Atlanta 8:40 a. m
At rive Calhoun 12:40 p. m.
“ Chattanooga. 350 p. m
DAY PASSENGER TRAIN —INWARD.
Leave Chattanooga 5:15 p. m.
Arrive Calhoun 8:31 a. m.
“ Atlanta 12:35 p. m.
NIGHT PASSENGER TRAIN —OUTWARD.
Leave Atlanta 5:56 p. m.
Arrive Calhoun 0:41 p. m.
“ Chattanooga 12:30 a. m.
NIGHT PASSENGER TRAIN - INWARD.
Leave Chattanooga 4:00 v. m.
Arrive Calhoun 6:38 r. m.
Atlanta 10:15 v. m.
ACCOMMODATION TRAIN —OUTWARD.
Leave Atlantaio,..n.w..;;... —3:50 v; M.
Arrive Calhouns; 10:28 p. m.
“ Dalton 11:55 P. M.
ACCOMMODATION TRAIN INWARD.
Leave Dalton 1:00 a. m.
Arrive Calhoun 3:00 a. m.
Atlanta 10:08 a. m
TjN J. KIKER & SON,
* attorneys at law,
Will practice in sill the Courts of the
okee Circuit; Supreme Court ot Georgia, and
the United States District Court at Atlanta,
Ga. Office : Sutheast corner of the Court
House, Calhoun, Ga.
a*
"TYUN & MILNER,
attorneys at law,
CALHOUN, GA
Will practice in all the Superior Courts of
of Cherokee Georgia, the Supreme Court of
the State and the United States District and
Circuit 'Jourts, at Atlanta.
TJANKIN & NEEL, *
attorneys at law, •
CALHOrtJN GA.
gfOffice : Court House Street.
J D. TINSLEY,
Watch-Maker & Jeweler,
CALQUN, OA .
All styles of Clocks, Watches and Jewelry
neatly repaired and warranted.
TJUhTwALDO THORNTON, D. D. S..
DENTIST.
Office over Geo. . Wells & Co.’s Agricul
tural Warehouse. ___
jyjISS C. A HUDGINS,
tlilliner & Mantua-Maker,
Court House St., Calhoun* Ga.
Patterns of the latest styles and fashion
ladies just received. OuHidg and
done to order. ____
7 H. ARTHUR?
1) l \ f.r in
GENU itVL MERCHANDISE,
.10 AD TEET,
Calhoun , Ga.
]\/fUSIC! MUSIC!
IYLA large variety of new and select music
direct from Philadelphia hep! constantly on
hand and for sale b/ Mrs. J. E. Parrott.
She also gives notice that she will instruct
m music at her residence Terms, per month,
$4.00: use of instrument, 50 ennts. Recep
tion days, Tuesdays and Thursdays.
2f T. GRAY,
A • CALHOUN. G A.,
Is prepared to furnish the public with
Buggies and Wagons, bran new and war 1 ant-
Repair mg of all kinds done at short
notice. Would c ill attention to the cole
rat* and “ Fish Brothers’ Wagon which he fui
ni hes. Call and examine before buying
el sew here.
NEW GROCERY STORE.
j, w. Marsliall,
RAILROAD ST,, OLD STAND OF
A. W. 3 LLEW.
FRESH GOODS, BOUGHT FOR
CASH. AND WILL BE SOLD
FOR CASH ATTIIE V ERY
LOWEST PRICES.
#
Would respectfully ask his numerous
friends in Gordon county to come in and
see him before mating purchases elsewhere.
H>„ 11. FINDLEY,
WITH
M. ROSENBERG & BRO.,
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
Dry Goods, Clothing, Boots, Shoes
—AND—
GENTS’ FURNISHING GOODS,
Two dcors east of Rome Bank,
No. 65 Broad St., • - - Ko,ne Ga.
New goods received weekly.
Highest market prices paid in cas i oi
all kinds of FURS.
We pay the highest pviees tor cotton.
dec2 3m.
Fall and Winter Goods J
X RS. ANNIE HALL
Has now in store Iter Ml amf winter stock
of iashionable MiHiuery and Straw Goods,
consisting in part of Bonnets, _" 1 s ,in<
Children’s Hats, White Goods, Ladies Un
derwear, Ribbons, Laces, Flowers, &e . with
an endless variety of
TRIMMINGS OF ALL KINDS
Cutting, fitting and making dresses a spe
cialty. All work done with care, neatness
and dispatch. Prices reasonable. Give me
call . MRS. ANNIE HALL
AiiE Times office is the place to get
It Vilk
' ,
YOL. Y.
u . j->c.i • * .uUitdOi;.
Many ind many a y ar ago,
Wiu we old folks were young,
in gifmg language to ou thoughts
We used our mother tongue.
But tow the age has grown so fast
TV old words are forgot.
And mthing will suffice us now
Ifiit slang that is red hot.
In f lose old times we never said
<y .Joe or Tom or Bill,
In .'peaking of their enmanship,
He slings a nasty quill.”
Ir#qeak ng of a man of sense,
• His judgment’s good,” they said ;
Bat now they say, “ The old sardine
Has got a level head.”
Once angry words would lead to blows ;
But now, when “a galoot”
t“ Gives too much chin,” or put on frills,
We “piste him in the snoot.”
In sorrow then they spoke of death,
With pale and trembling lip ;
Rut now, “ lie’s handed iD his checks,”
Or, “ The duller slipped his grip.”
Then, as they grasped a friendly hand,
n'hey said “ How do you do ?”
But now. “ What liLVe you got that’s
treth ?”
Or, “ Well old chap, what’s new ?”
Then. “He plays billiards well” we said
Of one excelled by tew ;
“ But now. “ Well, he is not a slouch ;
lie shoves a healthy cae.”
0 ce on a time man danced well—
Alas ! ’ti; so no more :
“ He’s just the ooy can shake himself
W hen you boost him on the floor.
A man once used to go to lunch
When eating time drew near;
But now lie’ll “ wrastle with his hash,’
Or “tackle his daily beer.”
Oi l friends at meeting used to pledge
Each other in a cup ;
But now it is, “ Here’s to yer, Bill!”
And, ‘ George, just hang that up.”
Oh. give me back those good old days,
When both he old and young
Used none but true, o(d-fashioned words.
And slang was never slung. .
GEORGIA AGRICULTURE.
Soil and Climate Crop Possibilities—
Labor Question *llOlll6 Supplies -
Significant Statistics.
BY PROF- HENRY E COLTON.
To the casual ob'servet who travels
over the State, there may seem to be no
improvement in the agriculturai cys
tern if Georgia ;* but having been an
annual visitor for five years past, and
carefully noted the cro*- results, I am
able to say that the farmens here have
made great progress. They are learn
ing how to be independent. I hat
many of them will never achieve this
goal is certain, for there will be‘drones
in the very best hive, but decided im
provement has already been maue, and
it is certain that effort to advance will
not cease. With the exception of a
verv few mountain counties, there is no
part of Georgia where cotton is not
produced. It is safe to say these
counties excepted, no man in the State
farms for corn or wheat alone, but, on
the contrary, many give all or nearly
all their attention to cotton. '1 hat sta
ple is a sure money crop, and the secret
of success and profit in farming in
Georgi’ is to raise just so much of the
n oney—producing fiber as can be grown
aud at the same time produce all the
food of man and Least.* The man who
does this is in a fair way to be able to
make the banks and merchants his
debtors instead of being heavily in debt
to them, as is the case with too many
of the Georgia farmers. An examina
tion of the geological and topographic
cal characteristics of the State will
show anv thoughtful person that this
will probably never be the result in
Southern Georgia; that in Middle
►Georgia much grain will be grown, and
some few farmers will make their own
meat; while in N-orthern Georgia it
will eventually be the rule, and the lack
of such good common sense farming be
the exception.
THE COTTON COUNTRY.
The general soil of Southern and es
pecially" South Western Georgia is pe
culiarly adapted to the growth of cot
ton. and exce-1 on a few river bottoms
is not the soil for corn, while wheat as
a crop is hardly known. The region
South of a line from Savannah to Ma
con and thence to Alabama, once pro
duced fully half the cotton of the State,
and probably --'t time? two-thirds; now
it hardly produces over a third, and it
is certain that the cotton there pro
duced averages a higher c-osi pi r pound
than from any other part of the Nate.
This area was the great slave-h iding
locality, and received the name of the
Black Belt from the above fact, and
from a peculiar calcareous soil existing
in one section. The geneial soil is
porous and light and easily cultivated
produces from 200 to 400 pounds of
lint cotton to the acre, and would not
average six bushels of corn. One hand
and a mule can easily do the plowing
for forty acres or more ; and with two
other hands for hoeing we may safely
estimate they will almost anywhere in
this area, except on sand barrens, pi°-
duce twenty bales of 500 pounds each,
worth at present prices (13 cents) sl,-
300 ; the same hands would most prob
ably not make their own feed on the
same land if planted i" corn. lhese
facts show that Abe greater part of this
section of the State must ever be
strictly a cotton region The difficulty
there is not so much in growing the
staple as in getting it pick, and n
whole future prosperity of this region
rests in a settled, trustworthy labor and
I must admit that the prospect for such
is very dim.
Within the boundary T hare indica
ted the enw-peu Srotrs luxuriantly,
and in ita more Southern eountie. au
..ar cane can be made profitable Ihe
soil yields largely to very slight culture
CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20. 1875.
but I cannot think it a region for small
farms, except fur trucking, and this
1 u-iness along the Hue of the At.antic
and Gulf Railroad may be made very
profitable. It- Soil is also the home
••f the Bermuda Grass, and if efforts
were made to set it out, this hardy arid
excellent pasture grass might be made
to take the place of the wire-grass in
the woods, and of brooinsedge in the
old fields. The labor question is the
problem of the whole State and of the
South. In South Georgia it is difficult
to solve, but as we go Northward to the
hill and mountain country, where the
farm contracts into a space more readi
ly bioked over, it becomes less difficult
* f solution The new Oomulissi mr *1
Agriculture, Ur James, has undertaken
io get some data by a series of ques
tions sent out o thousands of farmers
all over ihe State They cobtain every
idea one can think of conceding labor
on the farm. They wll certainly elicit
some curious statements, but how they
are to remedy the evil I do not see.—
The remedy is simply in time, and
while the sands of the glass drop slow
ly, many a fair estate, once the home of
intelligence, once rich in verdure, trim
med with the dripping locks of the
great staple, will grow up in short
leaved pine oh in luxuriant blackberry
bushes, affording summer food to the
traditional poor white, aided now by
the poorer an I lazier black.
FACILITIES FOR SMALL FARMS.
Middl* 3 Georgians in better condition
than the Southern part, and there is no
reason why it should not be the wealth
iest, most prosperous, and most
lous section of the State. The soil is
at least fairly good, the climate is not
malarious, the water is pure freestone,
and a variety of crops may be raised
It occupies a middle position, and com
prises many of the advantages of the
Northern and Southern regions, with
none of the disadvantages of the latter,
except the unreliable labor. Even this
it may eventually overcom*, as it Can
be a region of small farms, and one can
come from the level savannahs of South
West Georgia with an inspirited feel
ing. Here is a land of some pomise.—
The soil of tnis section is hardly so ea
sily cultivated as that further South, is
of a red or gray, chiefly the former,
produces clover luxuriantly, grows
about fifteen bushels of corn to the acre
when well tilled, and will average about
200 pounds of lint cott-m, .while wheat
yields six to eight bushels, but might
easily be doubled, while all the fruits
grow well, even the .tropical fig Tnis
country will eventually be 1 tudued with
~e it farming villages, and pretty white
cottages will take the place of thecher
ished log cabin It is even now proba
bly the section having most of the in
telligence and wealth ol* Georgia. The
railroads traversing it are the Air Line,
Atlanta and Augusta, with branches to
Athe* sand Washington, and the At
lanta and Macon, and the Macon and
AugUSS:?. •
North of Atlanta the W. and A
Railroad runs to Chattanooga through a
region which should be strictly one ot
stall farms. It was once the great,
grain-growing region of the and
now produces the greater portion of its
own provisions This road is the only
one in tlie State which strikes a good
grass-growing reg on, w’here first-class
beef cattle mav be cheaply raised For
100 miles of its length it passes over a
limestone soil similar to that of So th-
West Virginia. There is no better
grass lands than the Valleys of Catoosa
and Chattooga, the Oostanaula and
Etowah and their tributaries,while they
combine a climate uiild in Whiter and
uot suificientlyhot in Summer to be <>p
pressive, and are within easy access to
the great hay co Burning region The
lower 38 miles of this road bel rigs to
the Atlanta bel of freestene lands, and
being very elevated has a chm-'te un
surpassed in Winter or hi Summer
Cobb county of this region received the
premium as the banner county of the
State for general agricultural products
Through this lower section runs the
Chatahooehee River, its bott .ms afford
ing very superior corn lands N *rth
east of A lauta the Air Line Road to
Charlotte, N C has opened up a vein
large region of country heretofore hav
ing access to market by wagon. It is a
regien high and healthy, fitted specially
to the grains an 4 grasses, but even now
sending into the Atlanta market tnou
sands of bales of cotton, probabiy pro -
tluced at a less actual cost than from an
other part of the State.
IMPROVEMENTS, PRESENT AND PROS
PECTIVE
Such in brief are the Soil character
istics and the general cr *p possibilities
of the State The future simply depends
on the people themselves. My obser
vations tell me that they are very sure
ly coming to a knowledge of the situation,
and perhaps slowly but certainly pre
paring to meet it. I base this eonclu
sion on the tact that everywhere I see
less inclination to depend on hired labor
and more disposition of the ftimers to
Work themselves and make their boys
work The gun and d**g are now more
the companions of the ireedman than of
his former master. I see further a
growing disDo-irior, to be certain of
bread and meat by raising them und r
their ow i eyes ; there is. too, more de
sire to find home fertilizer, than to de
vote ail the profits ot the c Don to buy
ing a iitlle adulter fid ’guano l note
experiments in green soiling which are
being carefully watched by surrounding
farmers ; aud I may add there is much
attention to little comforts about the
household at and t > beautifying the home
place. I saw far up in the rough places
a pretty white cottage fronted by a tas
tily arranged flower garden ; inquiry in
loruied me that an advertisement in
the New York Tribune had shown the
way and Jauies Vick had provided the
re table seeds which made this beautiful
ua.-ua.
These aud many little things, so im
poitaut too, induce the opitiiotf that,
generally speaking, Geureid agriculture
is improving Much is due to the con
tinu-cd edorts of the Georgia Biute Ag
ricultural Society. No othe like or
ganization in the South disseminates so
much valuable information or makes
untiring exertions to Imp ove its peo
pie 'itiree years ago Mr. SruiUel Bar
riett became Secretary o the Society,
and immediately started a system which
is still energetically jfulLwed by his
successor, Mr. Malcolm Johnson. The
suggestions lor a series ol experiments
sent out by M . Barnett have never
beeu surpassed in coinpactuess and ex
cellence. Beside the auuuul fairs the
Society holds two semi annual meetings,
a*, which essays are read and discussion
hud upon them by practical farmers
Every year these teeeliogs have in
creased iu interest and iu the number
attending, and their proceedings are
now published in large pamphlet form.
From the last the fact is ascertained
that iu this crop year
acres were planted in corn thau in
18 3, mid that there is about? the si*m
decrease in cotton area; that the acree
age of wheat increased 58,512, and of
swe.t potatoes 10.359 It would be
an interesting fact to know in what sec
tions of the State was the increase.—
Such evidence of increase of the food
crops is promise of bitter days
A iurther look iutu the statistics
shows that the inert use of hogs has
been 35,592, horses aud mules 31,551.
and cattle 49 039 The statistics are
collected by the tax assessors with pre
pared forms and revised by the Tax
Collectors, aud are relumed to ttie
Comptroller’s office in Atlanta before
September 1, and are probably the
most accurate cb itactei oi crop studs*
tiffs. The increase of sheep is put at
only 1.900. whole number 370 921 aud
in 1873 the number of dogs was 122.-
318, increase in 1874 ni given The
statistics indicate this year an iucree
of at least 1,335,364 bushels t coin,
and over 200.000 bushels ol wheat. -
Such pr gress iu one year i> t vast step
toward such agricultural independent*
as must make the State wealthy and
prosperous Mi-, J nos h.s • T o and
these statist re.- .wh a .. t ,i pul: -he
them with proportion of crops made by
whites and blacks in 1873 from whi*h
it appears that in that year 35 408 out
of 504.253 bales >f cotton were pr *
duced by th* blacks of the >r.te. 1
tainly not a bad pr >p rti m i’ r i p> pi
who ten years ego wre slave- n and *e
it look as if they wer so very badly .
treated by the woite men who mu-t !
,wl nearly all the laud Mv ob.-erva
tion among: this class shows me that
quite a number are becoming oi
land, building good houses, and accu
affirm-’ing uimu y. 100 much ot which |
was swep away in the Fivedm m s Bu- j
f'etftf Bank s'wiuclie In the 8 u,h, as !
elsewhere, property and money at, least ;
make i man respected by business men, j
so this industry and accumulation on j
the part of the blacks will far more j
surely mike them recognized as citizens: -
than’ all the laws <! n res- It
noteworthy fact that while ih p. 4
nearly *me-f urteenili f the c <
they only prodafee ah tr ■!>■- •..h * th
of the o >rn This h v ■
a. solution ifi the fael ?b ? u, ; ; ~ .
lands manag*4jj by blacks re i \ th-
South Western section
WHOLESOME INFLUENCE- VNDPALP -
BLE F.MJIAs
The improvement in the pr vision
crops has been largely attributed to the
influence of the Barr o* ' iTusb oidrv,
and no doubt with some ■ ; hut .n
toher cause or example h h and 're.-it
ffe*. Previ* ms to the war the coin
ti of the Atlanta heir hardlv pro !
duced the cotton they c nsuo. and in !
cl tfhimr; now t-hey produce r
half of the whom product ?o h Stat
ami th" faru or- a the sum tm. did
mu abandon their old habit >< making
their provisions One planter -ui the |
Air Line Road said to me : “I have I
forty bales of cotton and I can self it or I
keep if. as {ps cise. for { h .vc also over
3,000 bushels of Corn tfd s rim wlveat. !
and abundance of forage.” In a trip '
through this region last spring I saw ;
hundreds of bales w.hieh had been held
over and for which hiuh prices * re j
obtained, because the farmer did re-t j
have to buy all he and hi- hands and i
stock ale No thinking pi inter nod
farmer of S.mth or Middle G i■ a hot
saw pi iiniv to he t u j|.>v >b*>
same e*m.-3, **r h c-m: i never again
grow ..Cotton at a profit.
One o* the worst iaw3 ever* enae*ed I
with au intent to befriend the farmer I
was she Ren I>w It encouraged spend i
ing money before it -is made, and too j
often was abused by parties selling ;
their cotton to others than' the loaner. I
[f is no longer in existence, and l can j
not but think next year must reduce ;
the cost of ci.tr a and three the j
growth of c>*ru Th.- i.ly ree -urse ofj
the couinu.-sioji ci , i: w j,- m the ]
honor of tie- plan * r r whom he urtkes
adva. ees Rivalry in business may
cause some had debts but the substari
tiai dealer end h nest farmer wi’l be
the bcti rf r the ab dition of a law
wh -sc tend iip*, was t** encourage deeeit
an*l reckless expendit sr Jht l’arujer
*' ho bought under its regulations always
paid ext,a high prices; ern which
eould he bought for 80 cents cash, was
b u<ght uud er crop lien at SI 40 to
§1 50. and al other things' in propor
tion ; money advanced was charged at
14 to 2 per cent, per month, and ns
ually the cotton market so manipulated
that wh n the Dme for paying these
debts came the st iple was at its lowest
price for the year. Hence, the com-
Jtmt
mission merchant, after making 50 per
cent on the corn or bacon sold, received
pay in cott n at a price whichhe ew
would be increased 50 per cent in less
than six months. Is it any wonder
that the banks which loaned the uioue
yield large dividends, and that the
commission merchants h ;ve as a rule
made large fortunes ? Ther can now
be no legal liens ofl the crops; it re
mains to be seen if any of the planters
will lack independence Enough to mort
gage their lands.
The evident faults of Georgia Aar
ming are endeavoring to cultivate too
much land, want of good farming im
plements and bad care of them when
gotten. There ave plows in use iu the
South which might be exhibited as rel
ics from Egypt The stock is general
ly poor, not capable of doing a good
day’* work ; add to this irregular and
scanty feeding ; corn is generally badly
housed, the same with stock iu winter.
They assume that their climate is so
mild stock need no shelter, hence ex
pose them and they come from a winter
feeble and emaciated, unfit fov work ;
the same with milk and other battle.—
A great waste is the lack of intelligent
information on farm subjects, the coun
try weeklies do not. devote enough space
to such reading. .More of it and less
of politics tfould nfake the State richer
But the great fault of Georgia farming
is pursuit of the one idea, cotton, to
the exclusion of food In the neglect
of little things around the farm they
find many companions North and West;
but all in all it is my opinion that there
is a growing desire to know the right
way and then the right pursue.— -N. Y.
Tribune
A Table for Housewives.
The following is a very valuable
housewife’s table, by which persons not
having scales and weights at hand may
i adity measure the article, wanted to
form any receipe without the truubie of
weighing, allowances to be inadi lor an
exti.ordinal y dryness or moisture of
die article eighed or measured :
A heat fi us, oae pound is one quart.
Li lian meal, one pouud two ouuees
are ue quart.
Butter, when one pound is one
quart
L i sugar, broken,* one pound is one
4 ;
ini sugar powdered, one pound
one. ounce are one quart.
iest brown sugar, one pound two
ounces are on quart
leu eggs are one pouud.
Flour, four peeks are one bushel.
Aixieeu ! rge teaspooululs are one
pint
Eight mrge teaspoonfuls are one
S' l •
t’otfr large teaspooufuls are one-half
gill
Tw*. gilis are one-eighth pint,
i wo punts are o e quart.
Four quarts are one gallon.
A common-sized tumbler holds half a
pint
A comm n-sized wiih glass is half a
gill.
A teacup is one gill.
A large wine glass is one gill.
A t a.-pu mlul is one-half ounce.
. * , ir *ps are equal to one fcea
i ‘ u; -
r ur tea.-poorrfufs are equal to one
• > si on'uJ
Would Yotf.
Would you keep your rosy Complex
i n weal thick Soled shoes
W. u;d you enjoy quie* contentment,
and a v with airs and pretences.
a u:d you have others respect your
• pini- a- ho don and never disown them
\ irrstdt
A aid > 'u marry and be happy, to
v. rv uni-e -t love add at least a grain
of good -.ense and judgment iu choos
ing a companion.
W uld you have health, go out in
r -unshinc is worse than
: ck es
Voul'l y*'U respect yourself, keep
y.'Ur heart and b *dy clean
Would you retain the love of a friend
and ri"t be selfishly exact ng.
Y\ uid yon gain the confidence of
business men, do not try to support the
.- f,!e f your employer.
Would you never dread to look
any on in the face, pay all your debts.
Would-you newer be told a lie do
n t ask persoual questions.
Would you sleep well and have a good
1 1 • tite. attend to your own business.
\\ uid you have respect of men, fiev-’
er allow yourself to indulge in vulgar
jokes or conversation.
V. u and you save yours el 4 ’’ annoyance,
do not stir up scandal.
Would you deserve the name of a la
dy. never, either to men or women, de
scend to obscenity or low allusions. To
your face they may laugh’ at your wit
hut to others they will speak disrespect
fully of you.
w He Explained it to Her.—
\ •,v days ago an old lady from the
* si ru part of Wayne eounty. Michi
gan. was selling some butter to a grower
in Detroit,when she overheard somebody
mention the Beecher scandal.
“What is that thing, anyhow V asked
the old ! ady. “It’s been in the papers,
but my eyes are poor,and I have hot felt
like reading it ?”
• Well it’s just this,” replied the gro
cer. is he scraped out the crock. “ you
see. Beecher hired Mrv.Tiltou to knit
him twelve pairs of socks ; and when
she had got ’em done he tried to pass a
counterfeit bill on her.”
“Is that so!” exclaimed the aged
dame. “Well I dont blame the papers
a single bit for showing him up—he's
worser than a vagabond.”
A Calumny Retracted and a Girl and
Her Lorei Made Happy.
The fashion reporter of an Austin
City, Nevada, paper describes the belle
of the masquerade ball in the following
astounding language :
“The most gorgeous, stunning, hig
toned, richest, fastest-classeet. nicest, or
any other adjective for costume in the
“ outfit,” was that worn by Miss Fran
kie Clarke. She was t'v hifalutinist,
gayest, and galusest dressed gal in the
room. She appeared in the room as a
page, and she was a page that any man
would leave another to read. in
costume and action she was as perfect
as a big sunflower.”
A couple of days after the appear
ance of the notice into the editorial
room of the paper stalked a young man.
His brow was wrapped in thunder, his
body in a suit of tweed, and his hand
clasped a big lump of hickory. He
pulled a paper out of his pocket, and
pointing his finger to the paragraph,
said : “ I want ter see the man as
wrote that ere.” \‘l am the individ
ual,” replied the person. ““ What did
yer go and do it for, that’s what I
Want to know ?” “ Oh, because I
thought you’d like to see your girl
made out one of the most bewitching
females that was ever tet on earth to
keep a man f r om his hash and drive
balmly sleep from his pillow.” “ Now,
look here. Ever since that was pub'*
lished I can’t get a word out on her.—
She sets in front of the looking glass
and keeps a gazin’ on herself, and mak
in’ sqqint eyes at her dress, and puck
erin’ up her mouth, and actin’ as if she
were a blasted sight better’n anybody
else. I want this ’ere thing fixed, or
there’ll be an editor’s situation vacant.”
He looked significantly at the club.—
For a moment* the reporter stood in
profound thought; then his face bright-
and he said, I’ll fix it in next
week’s paper. After *ou have seen the
next issue, call aud tell me the result.”
The young mSn left. In the next
week’s paper appeared the following
paragraph :
A Correction. —We made a g. a v
mistake in our issue of last week, In
our description of the marquerad e ball,
we accidentally substituted the name
of Miss Frankie Clark for that of Miss
Georgie Waller. Any one who is ac
quainted with the first-named lady must
have discovered the error. It is true
that she appeared for what was intend
ed as a page, but she looked a good deal
more like a bootblack in hard luck.—
She is not good-looking, her actions
were absurd, and every man in the room
kept as far from her as possible. She
thinks of moving out of this communi*
ty, as it’s unappreciative. When she
goes she will be escorted out of the
town by a brass band. The people of
Austin will gladly miss her from among
them.
The next day the young man entered
the office. In his hand he bore a rifle,
and his belt was ornamented with a big
six-shooter and a tremendous bowie
knife. He sailed up to the reporter. —
“ I look warlike, don’t I’/ I don’t feel
a bit like fightin’ you bet. You jest
oughter have seen her when she read
that correction. Why, she jest danced
a jig with madness, ahu she sot down
and cried, and then she come up and
threw her arms aruund my neck, and
said, ‘Arthur, do you love me?’ ‘You
bet your best bonnet on that,’ said I.
‘ Well, never expect me to speak to you
again' if yoh don’t go and kill the fel
ler wat writ that dander.’ lb course I
promised. And here lam to kill you.”
He laughed long and heartily. After
a time he quieted down, and the re
porter said : “ I suppose, in order to
make it aH right between you and your
girl, I’ve got to become a corpse. I’ll
do it. Sit there a minute and I’ll fix
the business.” He sat down at a desk,
and scribbled away for a few minutes,
and then returned with a sheet of paper
on which was written :
Obituary. —lt grieves us to be com
pe'led to announce the sudden death of
Mr. Charles Keller, the young and
talented fashion editor, in a moment of
mental aberration he had slandered an
estimable, accomplished and beautiful
young lady of this city, named Miss
Fannie Clark. Yesterday her betroth
ed called at this office and asked for
the author of the slander, and, when
he discovered him, shot him dead on
the spot. This paper will be unable to
give fashion gossip hereafter. We find
it impossible to fill the place lefc va
cant by Mr. Keller. Though erratic,
he was a man of kindly heart, and
could listen more attentively to stale
stories aud drink more had whisky than
aoy man in Austin. It. I. P.
“ That's your sort,” said the infuria
ted lover. “ That’s the thin g to a T.
Come along Mr. Corpse, and hist a lit
tle lightning.” The lady was satisfied
when the paragraph appeared in the
next issue of the paper, her lover was
regarded as a hero, and the Austin pa
per ceased to give reports of fashiona
ble balls.— Chicago Tribune.
— m ——
An Impalpable Hat-Rack^
One of the best things in the shape
of a practical joke was not long since
perpetrated by Tom Startler. Old
Startler, pater familiar, is a merchant,
wealthy and aristocratic, and it is his
desire that nothing derogato y to his
dignity shall Bud foothold in his fami
ly or fasten itself upon any member
thereof. In his boyhood Tom conceived
ar - ong passion for the fine arts, and
desired m'’ch*to become a painter; but
his father would not permit it. His
son must either choose one of the learn
ed professions or follow in his tootsteps
and become a merchant. In spite of
the paternal edict, however, young
Startler cultivated his tfiientj and in
the studio of an artist friend he spent
many a pleasant hour with brush and
r nEb.
t/Hg* For each square of ten lines oriels
for the first insertion, sl, and foieach sub
sequent insertion, fifty cents.
jjfmSq’rs | 1 Mo. | 8 Mos. | 6 Mor l 1 year.
fwo $4.00 $7.00 I $12.00 *2005
Four “ 6.00 10.00 [ I&00 35.00
| column 9.00 15.00 25.00 40.05
J 15.00 25.00 40.00 65.00
1 25.00 4000 05.00 116.00
. ftsT Ten lines of solid brevier, nr its
equivalent in space, make a square.
NO. 25.
pallet in hand.
A few weeks since Mr. Startler
moved into his new house on the ave
nue, and on the occasion be gave a‘
grand reception to a party of select,
friends. A hat-rack had been ordered
for the front hall, but it had not been
delivered, and on the forenoon of the
day of the party word was sent up by
the furnisher that the rack could not
be fiuisbed before the following day.—
Tom heard the message, and straight
way the idea of a joke entered his
head. He got his paint and his brush
es, and upon the blank wall of the
hall he painted a hat rack, and he dia
it with such force and accuracy of ef*.
feet that every pafi stood out in relief
as bold as though the Solid wood had
been set there.
The first man to arrive was pater
familias himself He saw the rack
against the wall, and, having removed
his beaver, he assayed to hang it upon
one of the pegs. The hat fell to the
floor. The old gentleman picked it up
and tried another peg, and with like
result.
“ Bless my soul!” he exclaimed,
picking up his hat a second time, “what
can this mean ?” He was about to try
a third peg, when his daughter, shaking
with merriment, informed him—
“ Dear papa, that is not a hat-stand
at all; its only one of Tom’s tricks.”
Had Master Tom been at hand he
might have got a tatste of the paternal
indignation; but when, later, the
guests began to arrive, and were in like
manner deceived by the phantom stands
old Startler entered into a keen enjoy
ment of the thing, and not only forgave
his son the trick, ho had played, but
suffered him, for amusement, to pursue
hiS artistic studies. #
A YOUNG gentleman who attends the
Austin, Nev.,public school has been told,
says the Reveille, that a sudden shock
or fright would cure the hiccough, and
the other evening, while he was study
ing his lesson frr the tmrrow by draw
ing a picture of the schoblma’am on his
slate, his respected progenitor was seized?
with a fit of hiccoughs. The old gentle
man was tilted back in his chair, with 1
his feet resting on the top of the stove/
and the young hopeful concluded to try
the cure on him. Just as the old mart
was “rustling” with a heart-breaking
hie the boy jumped up and yelled
“Fire !” The old man was juß't getting
out cuh-cuh, but he never got it out.—'
He gave a jump which tilted over tile
chair, and in endeavoring to regain his
equilibrium his feet flew up against the
table, upsetting it and a student lamp’
which stood upon it, and his head land
ed in t e ashes on the stove hearth.—
The old lady, hearing the racket, came
running in from the kitchen, afcd trip
ped over the old man’s prostrate form,
knocking down a whatnot with a lot of
glass ornaments. When that boy’s fath
er arose from the wreck and shook the
ashes and splinters of glass out of hitf
hair and clothes he was cured of the hic
coughs, but there was a look of stern
ness in his eye ; the boy says he knows
it was a “stern” look--feelingly “stern,”
as he can testify. lie saya fright is ai
splendid cure for the “hiccups,” but
that the “stern ” look it occasions itf
three hundred thousand times worse than
the “hiccups.” He don’t play tag now,
as he says his mother has forbidden him,
and he sits on the edge of the seat at
school, and lies on his front, when in
bed, and silently murmers that the old
man can hiccup his coUsarUed old head
off before he will ever try to CUro him.
Care for Drunkennss/
There is a curious prescription in"
England for the cure of daunkenness,
by which thousands are said to have
been assisted in recovering themselves.
The recipe Came into notoriety through
the efforts of John Vine Hall, father of
Kev. Newman Hall and Captain Vine
Hall, commander of the Great Eastern
steamship. He had fallen into habitual
drunkeness that his utmost efforts to ic
gain himself proved unavailing. Afr
length he sought the advice of an emi
nent physician, Who gave hitn a pro-*
scriptioo which he followed faithfully
for several months; and at the end of
that time he had lost all desire for
liquors, although he had for many years
been led captive by a most debasing
habit. The recipe which he afterward
publ.&hed, and by which sb many have
been*assisted to reform, is as' for'FOWsjr
‘‘Sulphate of iron,s?e grains ; magnesia,-
ten grains;- peppermint water, eleven
grams; spirits of nutmeg, one and aehrn ;
to ho taken twice a day.” This prepa
ration acts as a tonic and a stimulant,
and so partly supplies the place of the
acoustomed liquA, and prevents that
absolute physical and moral prostration’
that follows a sudden breaking off froffir 2
the use of stimulating drinks.
Ambition,
A love of activity, a desire to excel 1
end to gain a positron in the world are
commendable. They who bless the race,
elevate man, ihspire him with tree
courage, softeu the of our
being, and increase mental aud moral
power, are the true heroeS'and heroines.
They are the benefactors of the world
who leave it better for having lived in*
it. But he who encourages cruelty and
delight in bU od either on the field of
battle or in the native and true ruffian I .’
He who kills as prompted by a love of
glory (?),is not leas a murderer than he
who steals stealthily on his victim to
gratify an uncontrollable hate, when the
enormity of the crime must be granted
by the number of lives sacrificed —the
injury sustained. He who robs a na* .
tion of its wealth destroys its material
growth, abridges its peace, happiness,its <
prosperity, its mind, muscle and morals
by war is not loss a robber than he who ■
takes the private purse and then kills#.