Newspaper Page Text
CONTACT US AT 0.0. BOX 10X7, ATHENS, CA 70603 OR MA1L@SLACOOLE.COM
LETTERS MAY BE EDITED FOR STYLE, CLARITY AND SOACE CONSIDERATIONS
MOT SO OAR APART
Flagpole is right [Publisher's Notes, Aug. 2]
that "Home Depot 'n Lowes 'n them" located
where they did because that's where the major
roads are... demonstrating the huge influence
roadbuilding (and sewer-building) has on devel
opment.
It's really easy to get federal money for
roads . if locals had to pay for them, as they do
(mostly) for transit and sidewalks, there
wouldn't be nearly so many. Businesses benefit
from the ease with which roads are widened,
then widened again, making "walkable" neigh
borhoods impossible... yet they are first to com
plain if planners want to add a median oi elimi
nate some of the many "curb cuts" (driveways)
into businesses. This is what happened on
Barnett Shoals/Gaines School Road, which is
going from a four-lane uncrossable, non-bicy-
dable street to a FIVE-lane uncrossable, non-
bicydable street.
Meanwhile, with the streets (and tax money)
given over to cars, public transit languishes.
Everybody knows the press-manufactured rivalry
between Oconee County and Athens is bogus. If
Oconee doesn't get more industry, property taxes
will soon be higher there than in Clarke, even as
traffic lines up to get into Athens. Athens-
Clarke's little victories against sprawl have made
us a leader in the state.
Clarke and Oconee were once the same
county and should have remained so. At a min
imum, the two counties should cooperate and
run buses between them.
John Huie
Athens
The King of "Stride" piano does it again!
Gordon Stelter should consider taking up a new
instrument: one small enough to stride around
with, instead of choking us all on the emissions
from his musical Exxon Valdez. That's right! The
maniac with the piano bolted onto the back of
the belching old 70s van, bombing around in
Flagpole welcomes letters and prints them
without tampering with the author's intent
The editors correct grammar and spelling
and occasionally have to cut long letters.
insane pursuit of a captive audience, is the same
man who distills his hypocrisy into perennial
pontifications about the perils of air pollution!
Be unmasked. Dr. You-Phony-Ass Thump!
Name Withheld
Athens
To Ms. Ficera [Kissing, August 16]: "0 say not
so, 0 say not so, for it sounds of Eve's sweet
pippin. By these loosened lips, you have tasted
the pips, and fought in an amorous nipping."—
Keats
Otherwise, I'll try anytime that my Ups and
tongue can be as tender and gentle with a
woman as yours can be. —
To Ms. Haley: [The Young Radical's Guide To
The Latest Leftist Styles, Aug. 16] "Aye, swear
me, Kate, a good mouth-filling oath, and leave
'in sooth,' and such protests of pepper ginger
bread, to velvet guards and Sunday citizens."—
Shakespeare
Considering you may have written your piece
tongue in cheek, whereas Ms. Ficera may have
composed hers tongue somewhere else, even so,
you say "men are supposed to act like dicks,"
but permit me to propose that the women who
accommodate these dicks are themselves ascrib-
able as cunts.
Dontld Harris
Athens
WHERE ARE YOU 7
I might be biased, but here's my response to
Where Is The South? [Aug. 16]
Walking toward a group of guys in power
suits and being forced to step into the grass:
NORTH
Walking toward a group of guys in overalls
and basebaU hats and having them fi^ht over
whose going to get to throw down their jacket so
you won't get your tootsies wet in the puddles:
SOUTH
Being told by your new neighbors that "we
say hello to each other but that's it; we all keep
to ourselves:" NORTH
Being told by your "soon-to-be" new neigh
bors that they look forward to seeing you around
and stop over sometime: SOUTH
Hearing nasal, boring, droning lectures that
have you hoping for the blessed relief of falling
off your chair and sustaining a concussion:
NORTH
Listening to that sweet, slow, sexy drawl
('nuff said): SOUTH
The blank look on the face of someone you
just met yesterday: NORTH
Recognition on the face of someone you only
met once and haven't seen in six months, and
having them remember your life story (which
they actually wanted to hear the last time they
saw you): SOUTH
Up to your armpits shoveling that disgusting
white stuff that looks so pretty on Christmas
cards but in reality is a cruel plague (sent to
make people up north slow down a little fer
crissakes): NORTH
Cherry blossoms in the spring; blinding sun
shine (you need at least 15 minutes a day to be
happy); golden fields; bright, bright green leaves;
brilliant blue skies with big white puffy cotton
ball clouds; lazy, snaking rivers; dean, sparkling
lakes you can actually eat the fish out of: SOUTH
Blurting out the first thing that comes into
your head, thinking it's better to apologize for
saying that wrong thing than not saying any
thing at all, finishing people's sentences for
them, interrupting: NORTH
Sitting on the porch, listening to your
grandma talk about how she used to hide
whiskey bottles under her skirt when she was a
little gi.l in the prohibition era, even though
you heard the story a few times already, because
you know that family histories are important
and that telling them helps keep the memories
alive for everyone: SOUTH
Iced tea: NORTH
Sweet tea: SOUTH
Being new in town and having people look at
you like you crawled out fi om under a burning
spaceship (with toilet paper on your shoe) if
they look at you at all: NORTH
Being new in town and having people you've
never even seen before say good morning, and
really mean it (the Mamas and the Papas, Twelve
Thirty); meeting people and have them look out
for you when you're by yourself; and SMILES:
SOUTH
MM
Email
TIIS MMhRN TtILI
HEY everyone;
it’s time For...
VINTAGE
ACTION
FIGURE
THEATRE
this week:-
the MARX -OYS BEST
OF the WEST' GANG
STARRING IN...
STICKUP AT
TUB SOCIAL
SECURITY
. CORRAL!
uh oh.* SAM COBRA iS trying to
sell THE kids A BILL OF GOODS!
—so you see, privatizing social SE
CURITY IS Trte ONLY ANSWER! THe
MARKET ALWAYS PATS Off IN me LONG
RUN! _
I not SO FAST,
by TOM TOMORROW
THese YOUNG UNS ARE Too SMART TO
LeT YOU AND YOUR WALL STREET CRONIES
GET YOUR PAWS ON SOCIAL SECURITY!
YOU CAN'T Fool them with your IRRA
TIONAL EXUBERANCE--right, kids?
HE SAYS YOUR GENER
ATION WILL BLEED US
DRY if WE Don't Do
SOMETHING ABOUT IT;
EVIL SAM COBRA'S JUST EXPLOITING GENERATION
AL CONFLICT For
IF THE MARKET
STUCK WITH A BAILOUT
DEBACLE look LIKE CHICKEN FEED! WE'VE GOT
to STOP HIM—BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
For his own NEFARIOUS ENDS!
EVER TANKS; HEU LEAVE YOU
iailout that'll make the s&l
localcolor
domestic arts
&
gifts for friends
1931. Clayton Street
543-7392
d|t, s J-J- Flea says thanks
<3^ for your support!
We gave you a real flea market and you
J) made us Georgia's biggest flea market!
Athens, Georgia • Open 8 to 5 Saturday and Sunday
J&J FLEA MARKET
Highway 441 N. (Commerce Road) • 706-613-2410
AUGUST 23, 2000
m 1<M*f?P*WO 2000 ... lomorrowBwNI.com... www.tMamod4mwoild.com