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About The Knoxville journal. (Knoxville, Ga.) 1888-18?? | View Entire Issue (Nov. 16, 1888)
KNOXVILLE JOURNAL KNOXVILLE. GEORGIA. Hie Cincinnati Price Currant- makes the wheat crop of the L T njted States 400,- 600,000 measured bushels and 375,000,- 600 by weight. The Detroit Free Press says that North Carolina alone is caring for 1000 colored people afflicted with insanity, and every other Southern State has its hands full. In almost every case it is the light¬ hearted, lazy fellow who loses his mind, ■while the hard workers grow brighter each year. The age at which most suicides take place in this country according to the Chi¬ cago Herald, is thirty-five. It would seem that in early middle life the disappointed hopes are most keen and the effects of an ill-spent youth most disastrous. At thirty-five many Americans feel the wearisomeness of old age. Baron Albert Rothschild has pur¬ chased the largest mirror telescope that has been gonstructed at Paris for $20,000, and presented it to the Vienna Observa¬ tory. A gallery for it has also been built and endowed by the Baron. The total cost of this scientific gift will amount more than $40, OuO. Mr. Herbert Ward, the African ex plorer, met Mr. Stanley and his followers as they were setting out on their present expedition 1 after Emin Bey. y “I never,” .’ , he ... “in life struck . , with says, my was so any sight as with Stanley’s caravan on the march. Egyptians, Soudanese, So¬ malis, Zanzibaris and others, 000 strong. It took me two hours to pass them.” The Baltimore Manufacture rs' Record states that the new enterprises started in the South during the first six months of 1888 number 2023, against 1885 for the corresponding time last year. The amount of capital and capital stock rep¬ resented by the list of new enterprises and the enlargement of old plants for the first six months of 1883 is $81,508, 000. 1 Some men ought to have been born tigers, declares the New York Herald. Jim Shakelford, of Dog Branch, Tenn., is one of them. He ordered his daugh¬ ter, twelve years old, to bring a pail of water. She lingered too long, so the tiger heat her with a piece of plank. She died of the wounds and the people are making remarks about the lynch law. Home, sweet, sweet home. According to the official estimates oi the United States Bureau of Statistics there were 130,000,000 tons of coal consumed in the United States last year. The amount of coal displaced by the use of natural gas is put at 0,000,000, and yet the consumption of coal in 1887 ex¬ ceeds that of 1886 by 17,182,154 tons. These figures show at what an astonish¬ ing rate industrial development is going on in this country. Some time ago the experiments they were making in France on the effect of the Lebel projectiles upon human bodies were noted. It will be remembered, pays Public Opinion, that unclaimed corpses from the public mortuaries and hospitals were set up and shot at. Drs. Chauvel and Ximiort now announce that in future warfare with the Lebel rifle the surgeons will not be perplexed by having to extract balls from wounded soldiers. These projectiles pass through the body, bones and all, even when fired at a distance from 1800 to 2000 metres j(1880 to 2200 yards). ,, --------- BUDGET OF FUN. 1 HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM various sources. A Cannibal Idyl—Value Received— Educational Item—A Reader of Character—Early or Late, Etc., Eta A cannibal maiden loved too well A missionary good. And he loved her, but dare not tell His love—for thus it stood: A cannibal she and a clergyman he, And their creeds were wide apart; And how could he take, for a sentiment’s A sake, cannibal to his heart? For Ob, ’twas a problem vexing, very, the cannibal maid and the missio nary— Indeed it was. But the cannibal maiden’s love grew bold, For she was a simple thing; And thus her love to her love she told; “Oh, marry me! Be my kingl For I love you, my sweet, well enough—oh, to eat! ’Tis a terrible thing, I know; But I must be your bride, or encompass you fried— Oh, Oh, I must, for I love you so!” ’twas a problem vexing, very, To the maiden, but more to the missionary— Indeed it was. He looked in the depths of her dark brown e F es ». With their wealth of Jove and trust, And he cried, in the flush of a glad sur “Ah, prise: They well, if I must, I must!” were wed on that dav; for ’tis ever the That way And happier passion must conquer creed. To a discover—it pair it’s remarkably rar is indeed! And so ’twas settled nicely, very, For the cannibal maid and the missionary— Indeed it was. —Chicago Mail. , Value Received. Wife—“The laundry-man didn’t get a ^*is very good polish on your shirt-bosoms ; weu k, George.” Husband “Well, it’s as good a polish as I could expect tor the $1.481 owe him » j u jg e Educational Item. First Student—“You haven’t got idea of what a contemptible opinion 1 have of our professor.” Second Student—“Humph! I guess that’s the reason you didn’t answer any of the questions he asked you yesterday at the recitation. ”—Fliegende Hlaetter. A Reader of Character. Mendicant—“Please help a poor blind man: Kind Old lady—“Blind? Why, bless me, yes; there’s a dime for you.” Mendicant — “Thank, ye, heartily, ma’am. I knowed the miunit I see ye cornin’ ye was a kind-hearted ole’ ooman.” — Epoch. Early or Late. Mamma (the next morning).—“Edith, my dear, I don’t think you should have such late callers. Mr. Simpkins stayed here until after eleven last night!” call Edith—“Why,mamma! him late How can you a caller? I’m sure it was only a few minutes after seven whet) he called!— Puck. Too High a Valuation. Customer (to bird fancier)—“My wife wants a parrot. What’s the lowest you will take for that bird?” Bird Fancier—“Fifty dollars, sir, is rock bottom.” Parrot—“Come off,you’ve tried to sell me for twenty 1”— Life. A Tender-Hearted Millionaire. A tramp calls on a rich banker and describes his sufferings so graphically that ously, the rings banker, for his shetfding tears copi¬ servant, and in a voice choked with sobs, says; “Fire this tramp out into the street. He makes my heart be-be-bleed. Bo-ho ho !”—Sij tings. Both Saddest When He Sings. Mr. Sampson (finishing song)—“Do you know, Miss Smith, that I am always saddest when I sing?” Miss Smith (gently)—“I feel very much that way myself, Mr. Sampson.” Mr. Sampson—“Ah, then you, too, sing sometimes?” Miss Smith—“No, I never sing.”— Times. A Careful Mother. Bad Little Boy (to good little boy)— hand “Hey, Johnny, doesyer wan’ ter take a in de ball game?” Good Little Boy—“No, I thank you; my mamma doesn’t allow me to play with bad boys.” Bad Little Boy—“What’s de matter— does ycr ma t’ink you’ll make de bad boys wuss?”— Life. Not to be Considered. Friend—“I hear, Charley, that the pretty Miss Argyle is engaged.” Charley (with a gasp;—“Engaged 1 Great Scott, Fred, I love that girl my¬ self Friend — “I got it straight. The en¬ gagement was made at Saratoga last August.” It Charley (relieved)—“Thank heaven! won’t count .”—New York Sun. Crushed Ropes. “And what answer do you make to my appeal?” he asked, as he knelt at her feet. “James, I will be frank with you,” she murmured. “Oh, speak,” he implored, “and re¬ lieve me from this agony of suspense.” “Then let me say it cannot be.” “Why not?” “Because, James, I do not feel able to support a husband. ”—Boston Courier. Will Re Back Presently. Mrs. Hendricks was making an after¬ noon call on, Mrs. Hobson, when Mr. Hobson opened the front gate and strode down the street. “What a very fine-looking man your husband is, Mrs. Hobson,” said Mrs. Hendricks; “so erect aud soldierly in his bearing.” “Ves,” returned Mrs. Hobson, not without pride, “Hobson carries himself well. He was educated in a military school, you know.” “Is he going away?” “Only to the grocer’s for a cod-fish.” — Epoch. Wanted a Record for Silence. “Mildred,” said he, while his larynx quivered with tremulous pathos, “have I offended you?” “No, George, you have not.” “Then why are you so silent?” “Do not ask me.” “But darling, thinjr, you have spoken scarcely twenty words in the last hour. I cannot bear the gloomy quiet. Why do you not speak ( Why do’ you not talk?” “Because, George, I want fame. I am a woman and I am trying to make a record. ”—Merchant Traveler. She Was Too Modest to Ask. “John,” she said, as she toyed with one of his coat buttons, “this is leap year, isn’t it?” “Yes, Mamie,” he answered, as he looked fondly down on her golden head that was pillowed on his manly bosom, says the Pittsburg Post. “This is the year when the proposing is done by the young ladies?” “Yes.” “I hope you don’t expect me to propose to you?” , “Why, Mamie, dear, I never gave the matter truth, I’ve a thought—1—er—to —to tell the only known you for—that is to say-” “I’m glad you didn’t expect me to propose. I m not that kind, I hope. No, John, dearest, I couln’t be so im¬ modest. I am going to let you do the proposing yourself in the old-fashioned way. The old-fashioned way is good enough for me. ” And the gentle maiden gave her lover rejoiced a beaming smile, had found and yet the youth that he such a treasure of modesty. A Responsive Parrot. Once upon a time, as they say in fairy stories, a wicked Major in the United States Army crossed the Atlantic in d steamer. In the next room to his was a spinster, of a certain age, wicked. as thoroughly good as the Major accompanied was Both of them were by parrots of large conversasional power. England The Major was it taking friend a parrot the to English to present to a in Army; the spinster apparently had brought along the bird as a travelling companion. Both birds vere exceptionally clever linguists, but their schools. talents had been molded in opposite The Major’s bird swore like a trooper most ot the time, while the spinster’s was given to praying with forty-parson power. And, to make matters worse, the Major spent a day in the forecastle with his bird teaching it to objurgate the old woman in the next cabin. The consequence was that the next evening the spinster was astonished to hear a voice stridently say: Confound that old woman next door!” But how can her disgust be pictured when her own bird, devoutly Litany, quoting from the Episcopal replied: “Good Lord, beseech Thee V hew we to fist ”;—New York Tribune. Matrimonial Item. An old German played it rough oh his son-in-law. He had frequently stated that he was going to give his daughter $20,000 after she was married. Although she was as homely as a stone fence and on the shady side of thirty-five, she had lovers three times three, and finally she gathered in a good-looking young repro¬ bate. After they had been married about a month it occurred to the young member that a motion to take up the appropriation he bill would be in order. When had succeeded in making his solid old father-in-law comprehend the situation, the old gentleman ostenta¬ tiously shelled out a whole dollar. The young husband still lingered as if he was waiting for the performance to go on, but the old man rang down the curtain by saying: “Ya, I give dot $20, 000, but not all at vonct. I pays you won dollar every year.” “So I won’t get all that money, until the year A. D. 21,884.” “Ya, ya, der vas blenty times: don’t be in a hurry my dear poy. "—Siftings. Shoes Have Kicked Out Boots. “The evolution of the shoe,” said Bryan McSwyny to a New York Sun man, “furnishes an interesting subject for consideration. Sixteen years ago you couldn’t find a shoe in the stores of this city. The shops were filled with boots. Now you cannot get a boot except through a special order. The shoe was brought into general use by the retail traders. Next the manufacturers took has to manufacturing been entirely superseded shoes until the boot by the shoe. The first style of shoe constituted was the congress gaiter. It was ludicrous to witness the attempts of those who had been accustomed to wearing boots when they tried to put on a congress gaiter. Gradually the congress gaiter was super¬ seded by the button and the laced shoe. The latter is more generally worn at the present day than any other style. Wheu O’Leary, the pedestrian, walked his famous match with Weston at Chicago, he wore boots, and as a consequence he lost four toe nails. But'in his next con¬ test he wore laced shoes, and when the week was ended his feet were in prime condition. There used to be an old idea that bootlegs helped to keep the lower limbs warm, and that they also assisted in supporting the ankles. These falla¬ cies, however, were disproved when the shoe came into general use. It was found that all that was necessary to in¬ sure warmth was to keep the ankle warm. In order to achieve this result the gaiter tops were invented. But laterexperience has demonstrated that even these were unnecessary in order to obtain this re¬ sult. No,” continued Mr. McSwyny. as he looked around at his well-filled shelves, “I have $30,000 worth of shoes on hand, but not one pair of leather boots. The only calls I have for boots come from those who are going into the wiids of Texas or some new country, or from some old-fashioned man to whom boots are a necessity from early habit.” Always Say “Arkahnsah.” The proper pronunciation of “Arkan¬ sas” is “Arkahnsah,” accented on tha first and last syllables. This was the old Indian pronunciation, which the early French traders expressed in letters as “Arkansas.” The French a is always broad, and the final s is silent; so “Arkansas” to the French was pro. nounced “Arkahnsah.” Congress spelled the name, in the act organizing tha Territory, “Arkansaw,” and for some years the name continued to be so spelled. pronunciation, Finally, as original every one knew tha the spelling was brought again into use. Tiien, however, came a people who knew not the history or the pronuncirtion of the word, wh« called it “Arkanzass,” with the accent on the second syllable; and this mis¬ pronunciation throve, the and State was Historical accepted and by many. In 1880 the Eclectic Societies jointly in¬ ciation, vestigated and the name and its the pronun¬ on their report, sub¬ stance of which is given above, the Legislature of the State decided that the' legal pronunciation was “Arkahnsah.”— New York Sun. Washington’s “Pretty Little Frisk.’ General Greene of the Continental army, wrote to General Wadsworth March 10, 1779: “We had a little dance at my quarters a few evenings past. Hi« Excellency (Generis! George Washing¬ of ton) and Mrs. Greene danced upward three hours without sitting down. Upon the whole, we had a pretty little frisk,"
