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Volume 1.
tiie
UPSON rIL OT.
IS PUBLISH® EVERY THURSDAY MORNING.
Q., J%.. MlLl< er >
Editor aiul Proprietor.
JAMES R. lIOOD,
Publisher.’
’"^^'^Terms^Df^ubscription!
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In advance, for 1 year, - - - - - * v-
Jf payment be delayed G months, - - - * i
If delayed until the end of the year - - “ w
Kates of Advertising.
Advertisements w ill be charged at the rate of one ;
dollar per square often lines or less, and lim cents lor
each subsequent insertion.
Professional Cards, not exceeding ten lines, will he
inserted 12 months for sl2.
Lil-eral contracts made with Merchants and others
wishing to advertise 1)V the year.
For Announcement of Candidates so, invariably in
*’ Marriages and Deaths inserted free, when acconipa
."t )lV a responsible name. Obituaries of over 10
snes charged as Advertisements.
We commend the following Rates of Advertising by
contract to business men generally. We have placed
them at the lowest figures, and they w ill in no instance
be departed from:
BY CONTRACT, j 3 mos. 0 mos. 9 mos. 1 year.
udrt Gl T ARE.
w-ihm.l change, 6G 00 $8 00 $lO 00 sl2 00
Changed quarterly 700 10 00 12 00 16
Changed at will, 800 12 00 14 oo 18 00
fiEThanS 1° 00 15 00 20 00 25 00
Changed quarterly 12 00 18 00 21 00 28 00
Changed at will, 15 00 20 00 25 00 00 00
three SQUARES.
without change, 1500 20 00 25 00 30 00
Changed quarterly 18 00 22 00 26 00 34 00
Changed at will, 20 00 26 00 32 00 40 00
HALF COIiCMJf,
Without change, 25 00 30 00 10 00 50 00
Chanced quarterly 28 00 32 00 45 00 55 00
Changed at will, 35 00 45 09 50 00 GO 00
ONE COLVSfX,
Without change. CO 00 70 qO 80 00
Changed quarterly 65 00 75 00 00 (m 110 00
Changed at w ill, 70 00 85 00 100 00 125 00
Legal Advertising.
Sales of Lands and Negroes, by administrators, Ex
ecutors and Guardians, are required by law to be held
on the first Tuesday in tho month, between the hours
often in the forenoon and three in the afternoon, at the
Court House in the county in which the property is sit
uates!. Notices of these sales must be given in a pub
lic gazette forty days previous to the day- of sale.
Notice for the sale of personal property must he
given at least ten days previous to the day of sale.
Notice to Debtors and Creditors of an Estate must
bo published forty days.
Notice that application will be made to the Court of
Ordinary for leave to sell Land or Negroes, must be
published weekly for two months.
Citations for Letters of Administration must be pub
lished thirty da vs—for Dismission from Administration,
monthly six months*—for Dismission from Guardian
ship, forty days.
Hides for foreclosure of Mortgage must be published
monthly for four months —for establishing lost papers
for the full space of three months —for compelling ti
tles from Executors or Administrators, where a bond
hs Item given by the deceased, the full space of three
Months,
Publications will alwavs he continued according to
these, the legal requirements, unless otherwise ordered,
at tho following
RATES:
Citation on Letters of Administration, $2 ‘>o
M Dismissory from Administration, 6DO
” “ “ Guardianship, 350
Leave to sell Land or Negroes, 5 00
Sales of personal property, 10 days, 1 sq. 1 *>o
bales of land or negroes by Executors, 3 50
Kstrays, two weeks, 150 j
Sheriffs Sales, 60 da vs, 5 00
“ “ 30 “* 250
l f Money sent by mail is at the risk of the Editor, j
provided,\T tne remittance miscarry, a receipt be ex- j
bihited front the Post Master.
PROFESSION AL CAR! >S.
~AVM. G.
Attorney a t La w ,
THOM ASTON, GA.
WILL practice in Upson, Talbot, Taylor, Craw ford,
m Monroe, Pike and Merriwether Counties.
April 7.1859—1 y.
DR. JOHN GOODE, ’
TANARUS) EBPE( TFULLY offers his Professional service's to
1 the citizens of Thomaston and its vicinity.
He can be found during the day at l>r. Heard's of
>e and at ltis father’s residence at night.
Thomaston, Feb. 10.
T HOMAS ~ BEALL,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
, , THOMASTON, GA.
fed:?—]y
u. AV7"aLEXAX DEH, _
ATTORNEY at layv,
nov2o ly TUOMASTOX > GA -
E C .T. Goode.
WARREN & GOODE,
ATTORNEYS at law,
woriMf Y) UOUSTON co - GA -
A. C. MOORE,
DENT I 8 T ,
OPPK’F . riIOMASTON, GA.
iij k a ’ House (the late residence of Mrs.
WofbA 1 n ere L am P re l )ar ed to attend to allclass
j Operations. My work is myßefereuce.
G. A. MILLER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
THOMASTON GA.
ES S OAR ns.
TB . george w. davis,
L A- of a beautiful Stock of Spiring and Sum
,,KHU comprising every article usually kept in
Tw!" ,lutr y- an d see hint at his old stand.
KALL,
OPPOSITE THE LANIER HOUSE
-'hVCON, GEOItGIA
B . F . DENSE,
£ c ,., r (Late of the Floyd House,)
J ~'d l’KorKitroK.
HTI S INES S CAIt L> S .
aTsTbrooks”
Dealer in Eamilv GLroceries,
THOMASTON, GA.,
KEEPS constantly on hand a large stock of all kinds
of Family Groceries. Iron, Hollow Ware, &c., &.c.,
and a few Liquors for the afflicted.
[ 5P Fruits and Oysters in season. nov2s—tf
SYDENHAM ACEE. JNO. F. IVERSON
ACEE &. IVERSON,
DRUGGISTS ANf> C'HEAIISTS,
SION OF GOLDEN EAGLE,
COL U M BUS, Cl EOItG IA .
DEALERS in Foreign and Domestic Drugs. Medi
cines, Chemicals, Acids, Fine Soaps, Fine Hair and
Tooth Brushes. Perfumery. Trusses and Shoulder
Braces, Surgical and Dental instruments, pure Wines
and Liquors for Medicinal purposes. Medicine Chests,
Glass, Paints, Oils, Varnishes. Dye Stuffs, Fancy and
Toilet Articles, Fine Tobacco and Havana Segars, &c..
&.c. . jan6—tf.
HARDEMAN & GRIFFIN,
DEALERS IX
STAPLE DRY GOODS AND GROCERIES
Os Every Description.
Corner of Cherry and Third Streets,
MACON, GA.
ITfE would call the attention of the Planters of Up-
W sou and adjoining counties to the above Card, be
lieving we can makedt to their interest to deal with
us.
Macon, Ga.. November 19.1858. nov2s—tf.
~IP® L D T a © A L
FACTS FOR THE PEOPLE!
Wliat it Costs to he Governed !
The Washington States, a Democratic
paper, in contemplating the extravagance
and corruption of the government, ex
claimed : “ Why arc the people so patient ?
Why slumbers the indignation of the De
mocracy V’ We repeat the exclamation.
The tiles of democratic papers are full of
evidence that they regarded Mr. Fillmore’s
administration as recklessly extravagant.
They paraded it on every occasion—they
prated about it every day. Their indigna
tion never slumbered then. Their Presi
dent joined in the hue and cry. 111 a let
ter on the subject he said :
Wheatland, Feb. 23, 1852.
“ Gentlemen : * * * On what is
sue, then, can we go before the country and
confidently calculate upon the support of
the American people at the approaching
Presidential election ? I answer unhesi
tatingly that we must fall back, as you
suggest, upon i,: ’ v v a rigid
economy in public expenditures.
‘These expenditures have now reached
the enormous sum of Fifty Millions of dol
lars per annum, and, unless arrested in their
advance by the strong arm of the Democ
racy of the country, may, in the course of
a few years, reach one hundred millions.
The appropriation of money to accomplish
great national objects sanctioned by the
Constitution, ought to he on a scale com
mensurate with our power and resources as
a nation; but its expenditures ought to
he conducted under the guidance of en
lightened economy and strict responsibility.
I am convinced that our expenses ought to
he considerably reduced below the present
standard, not only without detriment, hut
with positive advantage both to the gov
ernment and the people.
JAMES BUCHANAN.
Mr. Buchanan has lived to he President,
and has lived to fulfill his own prophecy.
That the people may see with what rap
id strides the expenditures have approxi
mated the enormous sum of one hundred
millions per annum under his administra
tion, we append the amounts for the last
years of the two preceding terms, and the
first two of his :
1852—Fillmore, $36,552,080 37
1856—Pierce, 60,402,401 64
1857—Buchanan, 64.778,828 85 ,
1858—Buchanan, 83,856,727 00
Thus it will be seen that “ the strong
arm of Democracy,” relied on by Mr. Bu
chanan to stay government extravagance,
has fostered and nurtured the wildest and
most reckless profligacy, and shielded cor
ruption in its rankest terms. W ell max
the Washington States, in its issues ot the
March, 1859, exclaim, “Why are the peo
ple so patient —why slumbers the indigna
tion of the Democracy!”
The Public Printing, the Public Build
in o-s, the Naval Contracts, the Post Office
Department, and, in tact, every branch of
the Government, that could be made to
yield a farthing, has been seized upon by a
horde of plunderers, under the toleration,
if not with the connivance of the Execu
tive ; and in proof of this assertion, we
give the language of several prominent
Democrats. In a speech in the House of
Represent at ivec, near the close of the last
session, Hon. A. 11. Stephens, of Georgia,
I said:
“When he first entered Congress in 1843,
the expenses of the government were only
: $30,000,000 per annum. The country had
gone through the expensive Mexican war,
with sixtv-tliree thousand soldiers in the
field, for thirty-three millions, and now, in
time of peace, the estimates were seventy
three millions. Many expenditures were
wholly unnecessary, and reform was indis
! pensably needed. He believed forty mil
-1 lions an abundance for the national cx
‘THE UNION OF THE STATES:-DISTINCT, LIKE THE BILLOWS; ONE, LIKE THE SEA. M
TIIOMASTOX, GEORGIA, THURSDAY MORNING. MAY 19. 1859.
pense.”
Hon. Andrew Johnson, Senator from
Tennessee —also good Democratic author
ity —referring to the same subject, said in
a recent speeeli in the Senate :
“It is in the power of Congress to pre
vent these enormous expenditures; and if
we do not interpose we are responsible for
them. This government, sixty-nine years
of age, scarcely out of its swaddling clothes,
is making more corrupt use of money in
proportion to the amount collected from
the people, as I honestly believe, than any
other government on the habitable globe.’’
Gen. Shields, one of the Democratic
Senators from Minnesota, in the course of.
a debate in the Senate, also took occasion
to say:
“I think it is not saying too much to
declare that this country has gone faster
and further, in ten years, in extravagance,
than most other countries have done in
centuries.”
The Hon. M. R. H. Garnett, of Virginia,
in a recent speech, said :
“Can any gentleman pretend that it is
fair, that it is just, that it is legitimate,
that the expenses of this government in
time of profound peace, should have dou
bled in six years ? Look through the list
of items, and you will find that the expen
ditures have doubled in almost every item.
Is there no place to apply the knife ? The
Committee of Ways and Means tell you,
that they cannot control these expendi
tures ; then I say that the only way to
control them is the some way you would
control any other extravagant person ; that
is, by stinting them in money.”
And all this is under Democratic rule ;
a Democratic Cabinet; a Democratic Con
gress, and Democratic officials in all the
administrative departments. O, “Why
slumbers the indignation of the Democra
cy—why are the people so patient.”
From the Washington States, (Demo
cratic,) of March 7th, 1859, edited by R.
A. Pryor, we make the following extracts
in regard to the public printing :
“The Public Printing Plunderers.
—The fact that for the last five years the
American people have been subjected to an
annual extortion of nearly a million of dol
lars, on account of the public printing, is
a circumstance which will not escape com
ment, even in this age of corrupt and ex
travagant expenditure.
It is a striking, instance of the perver
sion of Federal authority, that in addition
to its many other illegitimate occupations,
the central government has engaged so
largely in the incompatible business of a
publishing concern.
“It is a signal attestation of the decay
of official virtue, that the appropriations
for this unwarrantable purpose have been
squandered in bribes and bounties to the
very officials who were appointed to pro
tect the public interests.
“ It is a deplorable mark of the progres
sive deterioration of political morals, that
the exposure of peculation of the most
atrocious character rarely provokes more
than a gentle expostulation from the men
in authority.
# * Hi # o
“With the view of inviting public at
tention to the abuses which abound in al
most every branch of federal Administra
tion, we reproduced, a few days ago, the
report wherein a committee of the House
exhibited the fraudulent practices of the
Printing Department. It is a document
of the very gravest interest.
V V* V v*
“A certain A. G. Seaman was Superin
tendent of Public Printing from December,
1853, to December, 1857. During a part
of the same period a certain Cornelius
Wendell held the office of Public Printer.
A more congenial couple never existed,
even in fiction.
v # V- #
“Notwithstanding the cleverness of these
two consummate rascals, and their studi
ous endeavor to “cover up their tracks,”
the committee convict them of receiving
bribes and bounties—the former to the
amount of $39,000, and the latter to the
amount of $30,000. Ot course, these fig
ures do not represent the full extent of
Seaman and Wendell’s operations. In the
main, their practices were such as to elude
detection ; and whenever they ventured in
to the light they were careful to assume
an almost impenetrable disguise. Still
enough is ascertained to show that both
Seaman and Wendell have plundered the
treasury upon system, and have incurred
exposure to the penalty of imprisonment
in the penitentiary.
v v V V V 1 s.'
“In the examination of the accounts tor
engraving and lithographing, the commit
tee find that the hooks of various parties
did not correspond with the certificates is
sued.
V V’ v V v 1)
“In one case the difference was equiva
lent to SIO,OOO, and in another to $6,-
73G,7fi.
v *•* v &
“Bv an arrangement with Seaman, Wen
dell, the Public Printer, was employed as
the special agent for all the paper contrac
tors— lie b- ing the very person who should
complain ot an inferior article. In this
way the editor of the “organ” realized the
snug sum of $12,000.
“The testimony shows that large quan
tities of paper, inferior to the samples by
at least a difference of thirty-three per
! cent., were accepted from favored contrac
tors ; that thousands of documents were
receipted for as printed and bound that
were never delivered; that thousands of
voluminous documents were paid for as
printed which were not printed ; and that
thousands of the most valuable publica
tions have disappeared without any ac
count
V? $Jf IK # $
“These are astounding developments;
but they are of a pieee with the prevalent
practices in the federal capitcd. FROM
THE BY WAYS AND HIGHWAYS
OF THE GOVERNMENT, THE ROT
TENNESS OF CORRUPTION SENDS
FORTH AN INSUFFERABLE
j STENCH. Why are the people so pa
| tient 1 Why slumbers the indignation of
the Democracy l See they nothing dis-
I creditable in the fact that the “ organ ” of
| the Administration is under that ostensi
ble control of a detected swindler ? Have
they 110 word of surprise when they discov
er that the President retains Cornelius
Wendell as his conjidential u organ,” after
the public and official exposure of Corne
lius Wendell’s corrupt practices as a func
tionary of government P Cornelius Wen
, dell is still Public Printer, not in name
\ but in fact: is there no popular protest
against the connivance of Congress in his
employment since the discovery of his
frauds and peculations l Others may he
indifferent to such an ignominy ; hut, for
ourselves, we intend to lash the malefactor
till the party is purged of his infectious
presence, and the treasury is protected
against his piratical operations.”
A few days before the adjournment of
Congress, the following debate took place
in the Senate, which we copy from the pro
ceedings of Congress :
“Mr. Wilson amended by cutting down
most of the miscellaneous items, advertis
ing, mail hags, wrapping paper and . post
office blanks, making a total saving of
over SBO,OOO. In reference to the blanks,
lie said he knew a case where Mr. Rice, ed
itor of the Pennsylvanian, had a contract
ffir printing blanks for $40,000, which cost
him just $5,000, the profit being divided,
fifty per cent, to the Washington Union,
five per cent, to Mr. Appleton, Secretary
of State, and three per cent, to a paper
published in the interest of a member of
Congress.
“Mr. Mason said if the facts were so, it
is due to the Senate and to the country
for the Senator to lay his information be
fore them.
“Mr. Wilson reiterated the statement,
and said that Mr. Rice himself had said so,
and. moreover, that the arrangement was
with the cognizance of the President of the
United States.
“Mr. Cameron said the matter was so
notorious that everybody, except perhaps
the Senator from Virginia, must know all
about it. Mr. Rice was, until recently, a
creature of the President, hut they had a
quarrel, and he went about blabbing all
about it.
“Mr. Mason —Did Mr. Rice tell the Sen
ator so ?
“Mr. Cameron —The way to get this in
formation is to appoint a committee of in
vestigation, or sue me for slander, and that
will bring the evidence. lam responsi
ble for all 1 say, here, or elsewhere. Just
bring here Billy Rice and the President.
They know all about if, and I think my
colleague knows something about it too.”
The sum and substance of this charge
is, that a contract was made with Mr.
Rice, of the “ Pennsylvanian for the
printing of Post Office blanks, ostensibly
for $40,000, which really would not cost
but $5,000, and with the distinct under
standing between the contracting parties
and the President, that $35,000 of the
money was to he distributed among the
friends of the President, including the as
sistant Secretary of State, and that this
was done with the knowledge and by the
consent of the President himself. We are
happy to know that before the Senate fi
nally adjourned, Mr. Cameron moved the
appointment of a committee of investiga
tion, which was carried. The charge is
made by two Senators, and one of them
vouched for the facts on his individual and
senatorial responsibility, and invited a suit
for slander if it was denied.
With such facts before us it may well
he asked : “Why slumbers the indigna
tion of the Democracy ?” “ Why are the
people so patient ?”
We have an affection for the State of
Alabama, and dislike to see any portion of
her citizens making themselves ridiculous,
but the following resolution adopted at
Montgomery, Ala., indicates a want of in
formation, or a want of regard for the truth
which would hardly be excusable in a pub
lic meetihg of Fejee Islanders :
“ Resolved, That the only general party
orgnniznth'n which professes torespFct the
rights of the South, in negro property, is
the Democratic party; that the overthrow
of that time-honored party will insure the
triumph of the Black Republicans, under
whose rule it is impossible for the South
ern people to live, without moral degrada
tion and imminent peril to social order ;
and that therefore it is, we believe, the
imperative duty of every patriot to labor
zealously for the success of Democratic
nominees, and the carrying out of Deiiio
cratic principles in the administration of
the federal government.”
We do not know who composed the
I meeting. It is probable that there were
men in attendance, who were and are our
I friends, and it gives 11s no pleasure to
chronicle the deplorable ignorance they
have manifested. We commend them to
at least a two days study of the papers be
fore they hold another public meeting.—
Me mph is A vala neh e.
American Meeting’ in Crawford.
At a meeting of the American Party of
Crawford county held in the Court-house
at Knoxville on the 3rd inst., on motion of
S. T. Feagin, Esq., Col N. H. Mobley was
called to the chair, and H. A. Troutman
requested to act as Secretary. The chair
man briefly announced that the object of
the meeting was to select delegates to at
tend a Convention of the American Party
of the Third Congressional District. On
Motion, a committee of nine, consisting of
Messrs. John F. Troutman, Isaac Dennis,
Giles Chapman, Marcellas Mvrick and oth
ers, were appointed by tlie chair to select
suitable persons to attend said Convention,
and to draft resolutions expressive of the
meeting.
The committee after having retired a
lew minutes reported through their chair
man, Mr. John F. Troutman the names of
the following gentlemen as suitable dele
gates, viz : S. T. Feagin, E. G. Oliver, F.
A. Ansley, Esqrs., and Col. Raines—and
the following Resolutions—
Resolved, That the American Party of
Crawford county have still a deep and abi
ding faith in the wisdom, patriotism and
integrity of its principles as contained and
set forth in the Platform of said Party in
the Macon convention of 1857.
Resolved, That in the measures therein
suggested we can only hope for the preser
uation and maintenance of our just and
equitable rights under the constitution.
Resolved, That the corrupting influence
and wasteful extravagance of the present
Federal Administration in the enormous
expenditures of the People’s money, ap
peals to honest men of all parties and sec
tions to combine for the accomplishment
of its overthrow, and for the defeat of the
corrupt party that placed it in power and
now sustains it.
Resolved , That we cheerfully and fully
commend the manly, noble, and patriotic
course of our able representative, the lion.
11. P. Trippe, during the whole of his Con
gressional career, and it is with feelings
of unfeigned regret that we learn of
his rumored intention to decline a re-nom
ination for Congress from this Congression
al District.
Resolved, That we would suggest to flic
Party in the different counties composing
the Third Congressional District to meet
in Convention in Forsyth on the Ist
Wednesday in July to nominate a candi
date for Congress.
The resolutions having been read, it was
moved and seconded, that the report of the
committee be adopted, which motion was
carried unanimously by the meeting.
E. G. Oliver, Esq. then .moved that a
copy of the proceedings of this meeting he
furnished to the Journal & Messenger and
Georgia Citizen, accompanied with a re
quest for publication.
There being no other business under con
sideration the meeting adjourned.
N. 11. MOBLEY, Chm’n.
11. A. Troutman, Sec’v.
A Mean Vice. —Lying is one of the
meanest of vices. Aristotle Jays it down
for a maxim, that a brave man is clear in
his discourse, and keeps close to the truth.
Lying in a discourse is a disagreement be
tween the speech and the mind of the
speaker, when one thing is declared and
another meant, and words are no image of
thoughts. Hence it will follow that lie who
mistakes a falsity for a truth is 110 liar in
repeating his judgment; and, on the other
side, he that relates a matter which he be
lieves to be false is guilty of lying, though
he speaks the truth. A lie is to be meas
rued by the conscience of him that speaks,
and not by the truth of the proposition.
Lying is a breach of the articles of social
commerce, and an invasion upon the fun
damental rights of society. Like gunpow
der, it is all noise and smoke ; it darkens
the air, disturbs the sight, and blows up as
far as it reaches. Nobody can close with a
liar ; there is danger in the correspondence ;
and more than that, we naturally hate
those who make it their business to de
ceive us. Were lying universal, it would
destroy the credit £of books and records,
make the past ages insignificant, and al
most confine our knowledge to our five
serue.
¥1 5J Ni ©-U ©y§.
From th Cleavoland Plaitutealer. •
Art emus Ward sees Piccolo mini*
Gentz— l arroved in Cleveland on Sat
urday P. ML from Bladinsville jest in time
| to fix myself up and put on a cloan biled
’ rag to attend Miss? Pieklelromony’s grate
musical sorryat the Melodeon. T hekrowds
Which pored into the ha’* augured well tor
; the show hisness & with cheerful sperteti
! I jined the enthoosiastic throng. I asked
Mr. Strakosli at the door if he parst the
perfession, and he said not much he didn’t,
i whereupon A I bawt a preserved seat in the
| pit, and observin to Mr. Strakowh that he
; needn’t put on so many h rench heirs he
kawz he run with a lig show, and that
i he’d better let his wesktit ont a few inches
j or perhaps he’d bust himself some fine day,
[ went in and squatted down. It was a
I sad thawt to tliink in all that varst auji
ence Scarcely a Sole had the honor of my
acquaintance. <k & this ere, said I biturly,
“is Fame! What sigerly my wax iiggers
and livin wild beasts (which have no ekals)
to these peple ? V\ hat do they care be-
I cawz a site ot my Kangaroo is worth dou
hie the price of admission, and that
i Snakes is as harmless as the new horn bab
; —all of which is troo ?” 1 slioodhav gone
on ralein at Fortin and things sum more
but jest then Signer Maccarony come out
and sung a hairev from someopry or other.
Ho had on his store close & looked putty
slick, I must say. Nobody didn’t under
stand nothin übowt what he sed and so
they npplawded him” versitcrusly. Then
Signer Brignoly cum out & sung another
hairev. lie appeared to he in a Pensive
Mood & sung a Lov song, I spose, tho he
may hav bin cussin the audience all into a
beep for aut I knowd. Then cum Mr.
Maccarony agin & MissPicklehomony her
self. They sung a Doit together.
Now yu know, gentz, that I don’t ad
mire opry music. But I like Miss Pickle
homony’s stile. I like her gait. She suits
me. There has bin grater singers and
there has bin more bootiful wimin, but no
more fasinatin'young female ever longed,
for anew gown or side to place her lied
agin a vest pattern than Maria Picklehom
ony. Fassinating people is her best holt.
She was born to make hash of men’s buz
zuins and other wimin mad becawz they
ain’t Picklehomonies. Herjj face
with aniuziri cussedness about two hundred
little bit of fancy devils air continually
dancin champion jigs in her eyes, said eyes
bein brite enutf tojditc a pipe by. How I
shood like to have little Maria out on my
farm in Baldinsville, Injany, where she
cood run in the tall grass, wrastle with the
boys, cut up strong at parin bees, makeup
faces behind the minister’s hack, tie auc
tion bills behind the school-master’s coat
lalt's, set all the crazy after her, &
holler & kick tip, & go it jest as much as
she wanted to 1 But I diegres. Every
time she cum can ter in olit I grew more and
more delited with her. When she boWe<t
her hed 1 bowed mine. When she powtid
her lips I powtid mine. When she larfed
I laded. When she jerked hei head hack
and took a larfin survey of the audience,’
sendin a broadside of sassy smiles in among
cm, I tried to unjint myself & lcollapse.
When, in tellin how she drempt she lived
in Marble Halls, she sed it tickled her more
than all the rest of to dream she loved her
feller still the same, I made a effort to
swaller myself: hut whciq in the next song,
she looked strate at me and called me her
dear, I Wildly told the man next to me that
lie mite hav my close, as I shood never
want ’em agin no more in this world. [The
Plain Dealer containin this communica
shun is not to be sent to my family in Bal
dinsville under no circumstances whatsom
ever]
In conelUshun, Maria, I want you to do
well. 1 know yu are a nice gal at heart &
you must get a good husband. He must
be a man of branes and gumpshun and a
good provider—a man who will luv yu
jest as much iii your old age, when your
voice is cracked like ah old tea kettle, &
yu can’t get 1 of your notes discounted
per sent a month, as lie will now, when you
are young & charmin A* full of music, sun
shine and fun. Don’t many a snob, Ma
ria, You ain’t a Angel, Maria & I’m glad
of it. Yu air a woman, & mity good one
too. As for Maccarony, Brignolly, Mul
lenholler, ar.d them other fellows, they can
take care of theirselres. Old Masc cah make
a comfortable livin choppin cord wood in
case his voiceover givs out, & Amodio looks
as tho he mite succeed in conduct in sum
quiet toll gate, ivhar the vittles would bo
plenty & the labor life.
I aril preparin for the Summer Campane.
I shall stay in Cleveland a few days &
problv you will hear froth me agin ear I
leave to once more becum a toss* r on life’s
tempestuous billers, meaning the Show bis
nes. Very respectfully yours,
Artemus Ward.
A young lady who lately gave an order
to a milliner for a bonnet, said :—“ You
arc to make it plain, and at the same time
smart, as I sit in a conspicuours place in
church ”
Number 27.