Newspaper Page Text
BLOOD POISON!
100 Bottles of Another Blood Medi
cine Used—No Relief Until
B. B. B Was Used
Hampton, Ga., June 12th, 1883.
Buxp Halm Cos Ymir Ji. B. It. h work
*l on me like a charm. Three bottles have
lone me more good than all doctors and 100
ot ties of the most noted remedy. 1 am get
mg well rapidly. All ulcers healed, no aching
f my bones, no pains in mv back, and my
kiu u becoming ch ar. Tin* effect of B. Ji. B.
ii my kidneys is something wonderful. My
friends axe astonished. My family physician
ays it is the only medicine I ever used suited
omv case. I would take pleasure in corres
nonduig with any one interested, as 1 can’t
ni P P? 1 *"!" B ‘ B : B - Bideed it is a great
isiood Purifier. Give anyone my address who
may call for it. ‘ xl' W
Address, BLOOD BALM CO.. Atlanta, Ua..
or Summerville, Ga.
Seorfula Cured After Srural Phvsirian
Fill,Kit.
On the 28th day of April, 18.13. William Sea
lo(|k, 12 years of age, presented himself to*Dr.
Gillam, desiring to know if Ji. B. B. would
cure him. He fives on Dr. L. A. Guild's
place, near the cemetery, and the case is well
known by Dr, Guild, who has particularly
noticed it.
The boy had a foul scrofulous ulcer involv
es the entire elbow joint, with which he hail
been afflicted over twelve months. It had <le
a.royed the superficial structure, and was fast
the deeper tissues. He could not
p. nd the arm, and had strong indications of
the same ulcerous condition of the shoulder.
Two other physicians of the city had treated
the case, but without any perceptible change
in his condition. He was placed upon the
treatment of B. B. B. y and one single bottle
cured the foul ulcer and restored the fast de
generating condition of the child, and he it
now enjoying the finest of health.
This is a plain and unmistakable case of
well defined scrofula, and recognized as such,
cured with one single 1 ottlo of 15. 11. R, and
t. take pleasure in asking any interested party
to address Dr. 1.. A. Guild, Atlanta, Ga., on
the subject relative value of the medicine in
this case.
If one well defined case of scrofula can lie
cured, others can bo cured also.
BLOOD BALM CO.,
Atlanta, Georgia.
IS THAT SO?
Yes, it's a fact, that one large bottle of B. II
n. costing only ?1 is warranted to produce a?
niii sh remedial effect in the cure of all Blood
i’oison as three bottles of the most famous
blood medicines of the day. Yes, three t
one ; that's the way we put it, ami we are able
to back our word with strong evidence. B. 11.
B. is the miiok blood remedy, and there is n<
mistake about it. 'Hie proof i* printed tht
fiat has gone forth the tocsin ha sheen sound
ed, and‘*he that hath ears to hear, let him
hear.”
Fi r sHe in 8u nmerville by
.T S. CL! GIIORN & C(X
V w 1 V*
hew Home
l^AacßEie
| jJ'lltYU OUTOF ORDER.
JAs No e quai- = Z.
NEW howe h c HA EHINEG
f 30 UNION SQUARE NEWYORK
C*' CAe O
ILL. MASS. GA.
TOR SALE BY
PJbL V Ii I ; & UA IN,
SUM MERVILLK, GA.
Nerve-life and Viai
- RESTORED.
This cut sh ws the
~ Howard Eloctric
Miusiietic Shield
pr , j as applied over ile Kid
I i$L neyeand Nervo-i
M centers. Tne •i ly
pllance marie tliar
tits every pr
the bexly, ami the
A fob _ % inly one i: -a-ri • '
m \ 1 Ih| \ POSITIVELY eve*
5 k jj* | KidneyDlsensr
S I K liiMimml n
OF THE 3 l yspep si >•
I*. jhl the worst cas* •
SI Nemhial \Tfu!s
.y 1 new, Eihuui
jilE>a>^ r! lion, Inipotcn
HL j, HoWAo fjA t VJ. And oil Ul.
eoMtnndWeak
|| tie,, if thr-1 rlur
s* ■" I.tiiUul Organ*
[Patented Kid). 25, 187 B.) —' ■
y OWO MET from early Indiscretion, I
nerve force and fail to attain atrenirth.
MIDDLE ABP MEN often lack vi(ror. atfrlbnt
log It to the progress of year..
The MOTHER. WIFE and MAII>. so tiering fron
Female We.kn. fl, JJ.rvooi Debility and other ail
mente, will find it the only dire.
To one and all we ray that the Shield (fires a nat
ural aid in a natnra! •■vav _
withoft rmvoaiNG the stomach
Warranted One Vear, and the he.
appliance made.
Illustrated Pampblol. THREE TYPES OF MEN
also Pamphlet for Ladles only, sent on receipt o
Cc. sealed; ensealed, FREE.
American Galvanic Cos.
OFFICE, j 1103 thetntit St., Phlla.
A member of the New York Phonetic
Club writes to this able and influential
paper, asking us to “drop the final ne
in words so ending, and spell dialog,
fepilog, etc.” Well, we kick. We are
willing to drop the ue to a limited ex
tent, but when the New York language
club asks us to spell glue, gl, we pro*
test.
Rothschild has sworn at Frankfort
on-the Main that bin income only *4,-
788,000. Rothschild is regarded as rich
4 over in Europe, but he would be mighty
small potatoes in this country.— Phila
delphia News*
@l)c <S>rtsdti\
V 0. XI.
••THINGS THAT ARE HOT/ 1
I dreamed a dream of Love,
That she was holy, pure, and true,
A friend to give delight on earth,
A voice to bid man look above,
Her constancy her only worth,
Alas ! like this she comes to very few.
I heard her sacred name
On lips of many, young and old,
I looked their idol in the face,
A giddy, pleasure-seeking dame,
Whose vanity is her disgrace,
Whose summer friendship fades befor#
the cold.
Is love then but a dream,
The sweetest fancy man can know?
Or has she broken earthly bars
And fled, with her celestial gleam.
To shine aloft among the stars
And look with scorn upon the aloud
below ?
When Faith and Hope are dead,
When lift- lias for its only aim
To seek the passing moment’s bliss,
To find sufficiency of bread,
Man soon bis highest joys will miss,
And seeking Love will find her bnt a
name.
THE LOVERS’ QU \UR EL
"Never, while I live,” said Miss Rasli
eigh, “never while I live, will f nee your
face again 1"
She meant It when she said it; and as
she spoke, she threw her betrothal ring
owiod her lover, who had offended her.
It missed him and rolled down upon
the floor and over the sill of an open
china closet—one of those old-fashioned
closets that used to stand on either side
of the mantel-piece.
She did not notice where it rolled; he
did though; and after she had left the
room, he turned to pick it up. The ring
Rlie hail worn would always be precious
to him.
Miss Rashleigh went straight to her
own room, as miserable a girl as ever
lived, and a moment later Grandmother
Rashleigh hustled into the drawing-room,
[lushed the open closet door to, picked
up the fallen magazine, set the annnals
and books of poetry straight on the
table, pulled down the shades, arranged
the chairs mathematically against the
wall, and hustled out again.
“I’ve had these things fifty years,” she
said to herself, “and there’s Cornelia and
her beau with no more respect for them
than if they were so much lumber.”
Then she closed the door behind her.
ami went away to act own room up
stairs, where a fine silk patchwork quilt
was in tho frame, a surprise for said
Cornelia.
Grandmother Rashleigh gave every
young person of the family something of
her own manufacture on his or her wed
ding day.
“Now,” the old lady had said a dozen
times to Triplieny King, who was help
ing her; “I rather think Cornelia will
have the best thing I’ve done; and
there’s a bit in it of every handsomo
silk there's ever been in tho family, and
of her father’s and grandfather’s wed-
ding vests.”
/ “Yos’m, it’s a real memorial quilt,”
/ said Tripheny. “It takes you, mum, to
' plan such things.”
/ The quilt was finished and bound that
afternoon, and Tripheny’s job of quilt
ing being over she went home. But she
carried about the village the news that
she “was sure all was over bet ween Miss
Rashleigh and Mr. Spear. She’d heard
(Cornelia saymg something to her
grandma, and the old lady was furious.”
“He wonld never have done that if he
' had cared for me, you know, grandma,”
Cornelia was saying at that moment.
“Stuff and nonesense ! He loves the
ground you walk on 1” said the old lady.
“You’ll never get such another, Cor
nelia I
“I shall never marry at all; I hate
men !” Cornelia answered.
And then her grandmother marie the
house too hot to hold her, and she went
over to her mother’s, her usual eourse
when she fell out with grandma.
Three days passed. At the end of the
third Piety Pratt stepped in at Mrs.
Rashleigh’s—young Mrs. Kasiileigh, as
j they called her, though she was nearly
fifty, for grandma was old Mrs. Bash
! leigh.
j “I expect you'll feel upset when Ite
j yon the news, Cornelia,” she said. “Yo
have been too cruel this time—he, he,
he ! Orville Spear ha’n’t been heard of
Bince he was at your house. His mother
says he went over to explain and make
np, and he never came back—he, he !
She thought maybe he’d stepped over to
his brother’s, bnt he hadn’t—he, he I I
' reckon he’s drowned himself I”
“I don’t know why the whole town
should talk over my affairs and every
meddling old maid giggle about them 1”
i cried Cornelia.
Piety jumped to her feet, seized her
; parasol and turned toward the door.
“Good afternoon, Miss Cornelia and
I Mrs. Rashleigh,” she said, with a eon
j temptnons courtesy. “I'll remember
my manners, if other folks forget theirs.
| Only there’s other folks as likely to be
old maids as me, and I fancy it’s Mrs,
Spear’s affair now if anything haa hap
pened to her boy I”
Away flounced Miss Pratt.
“You’ve pnt Piety into a rage, Cor
nelia,” said Mrs. Rashleigh. “That’s a
i pity; she has a long tongue. ”
j But Cornelia was crying.
“Oh, mother, dear,” she sobbed, “it
isn’t true, is it ? Orville did feel dread
fully. Won’t you see, mother?”
But at this moment Sally, the little
servant girl from Gradma Bashleigh’s
SUMMERVILLE, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY EVENING, MARCH 12, 1884.
oarne flying into the room, without any
more warning than if she hail been shot
from a gun.
“The old missus says yon are to come
over at once, both yon ladies I” she cried,
standing before Mrs. Rashleigh, and re
peating her lesson like aparrot. “There’s
something of importance, and you’re
needed at wonst.”
“Get your bonnet, Cornelia,” said her
mother. “I’ll just put on this sun-hat.
What is it, Sally ; do you know ?"
“I know it’s something dreadful Mis
sus is almost wild, and there’s lots of
folks there. Something alwnt Mr.
Spear.”
The two ladies said uo more. They
hurried away together, and entering
grandma’s parlor, found there assembled
more of tho members of the Spear family
and a friend or two besides.
Orville had indeed disappeared. Ho
had never been homo since his visit to
Cornelia, and now the alarmed relatives
were anxious to get all the information
they could regarding tho interview be
tween Orville and Cornelia.
"I had reason to be angry, Mrs
Spear,” said Cornelia, proudly; “good
reason, and I took off my ring and gave
it back and went out of the room. I
don’t know when ho went or where, I
—I thought he wouldn’t mind so much.
I believed he had stopped earing about
me.
“He ought to now, at all events,” said
grandma
“My boy is dead, I’m sure. I shall
have the pond dragged I” said Mrs.
Spear, amidst her tears. “He left all
his money at home. Ho wouldn’t have
gone traveling without a change o
clothes. Oh, you wicked girl ?”
“I hope,” cried tho eldest Miss Spear,
“that he’ll haunt vou I”
“I could kill you, yon hateful thing !”
cried the youngest Miss Spear.
Cornelia had kept up bravely until
now; but when her two friends turned
upon her thus, she gave a little scream,
aud fell over on tho sofa. Bho was in a
dead swoon, and the water they sprin
kled in her face did not bring her to.
Grandma grew frightened.
“I hope it isn’t an attack of heart dis
ease,” she said. “Poor child I sho looks
as if she were dead. ”
“Oh, don’t say that 1” cried th
mother.
They gathered around Cornelia an
did all they could for her, and soon si
recovered and sat up, but all her pri<’
was gone.
“Oh, dear! oh, dear!” she sobbed,
“I wish I had died 1 I wish I had never
come to I Oh, Orville ! Orville I what
has become of you ?”
“Oh 1 oh I” moaned the mother.
“Oh 1 oh 1” moaned the sisters.
And Cornelia’s head fell back again,
"Emma, get the lavender out of the
china-closet,” said grandma to her
daughter. “Quick ! It’s on the corner
shelf 1”
Mrs. Rashleigh rushed to tho closet.
“It won’t open,” she cried, wildly.
“It’s a patent lock,” said grandma;
“locks as it shuts. Here’s tho key.”
And Mrs. Rashleigh flew back to the
door, opened it and uttered a shriek.
There on the. floor, huddled np under
the shelf lay poor Orville Spear.
He was white and limp.
Cornelia sat and stared at him in the
most awful way. She thought him
dead, but the more experienced matron
saw that he was yet living.
Sally was sent post-haste for the doc
tor; and there, in Mrs. Rashleigh’s
drawing-room, he found Cornelia and Or
ville lying quite unconscious, like
Romeo and Juliet in the soeue at the
tomb, and tho rest of the party in a
state of bewilderment and terror past
description.
At last, however, both were conscious
and seated in arm-chairs, regarded each
other, while the observers kept silence,
and Mr. Orville Spear littered tho first
words.
“Of all confounded fools ”
“Who, dear?” asked his mother.
“Me,” said Orville, regardless of
grammar. “Who shut me in ?”
“What were you in tho closet for?”
asked grandma, with a guilty con
science.
“To pick something up that rolled
there,” said Orville.
“Tho ring?” asked Cornelia, fran
tically.
“Yes, the ring,” said Mr. Spear.
“More fool 11 Someone banged the
door to. I shouted and howled and
kicked, and no one heard me.”
“Oh, oh, oh, oh 1” shrieked Cornelia.
“I believe you hid there to kill me, for
no other purpose than out of revenge.”
“You banged the door on me,” said
Mr. Spear. “A jealous woman would
do any thing. ”
"I banged the door, Orville!” said
old Mrs. Rashleigh. “I! You’d left
everything flying. I just pushed it as I
passed, and you ought to bless your
stars that you are alive, for people don’t
go .into the drawing-room, sometimes for
a fortnight in this small family. We
use the parlor much more, and I am
deaf, and so is old Hepsiba, and you
might have died there. Yes, and yon’d
have killed him, Cornelia,” added the
old lady, “throwing his pretty diamond
ring on the floor 1”
“Oh 1” moaned Cornelia. “Oh 1”
“It wasn’t her fault. I was a con
founded fool all through I” cried Orville.
“I knew that closet had a spring-look.
No; don’t blame Cornelia.”
“I shall always blame jayseli I"
sighed Cornelia. “Oh, how pale you
are!”
"And how pale you are, Cornelia !’
sighed Orville. “Did you really oare
when you thought I was dead ?”
“Ladies,” said Grandma Rashleigh,
“now that Orville is getting on, let us
go luto tlte otner room and leave these
two young folks to talk things over to
gether.”
Sho led the way ; the others followed.
When tho ton-boll rang soon after,
Orville aud Cornelia came out of tho
drawing-room arm-in-arm, and tho wed
ding-day was fixed.
Floating Tillages.
LITTLE COMMUNITIES THAT LIVE ON THE
CLUSTERED CANAL BOATS.
People who visit the neighborhood of
the Atlantic or .Erie Basins will notico
the smoko curling from the little stunted
stovepipes projecting above the neat
white cabins of the scores of canal boats
that remain there the winter through.
About the decks, when tho snow is on,
will bo seen the tracks left by the shoes
of little ones, the French-heeled shoes
of maidens and tho broad soles of tho
men. There are other easily-found
signs which show that in every boat a
family is living, and that, in fact, these
collections of boats are communities,
separate and distinct like villagos in the
country. These families are bound to
gether by social ties and by similar bus
iness interests. The boats furnish them
their moans of livelihood, and aro their
homes the year round. They inter
marry, aud many a man among them
was bom on a boat of pareuts who wore
on the canal about all their lives before
him. More quiet, poaceablo, industri
ons communities cannot bo found than
the villages floating in these basins.
The community of interests among
them is so strong that a society was
formed somo years ago for the advance
ment of their pecuniary and other in
terests. By its efforts the agitation was
rtinted which first took the toll from the
unloaded boat and at last gave New
York State its free canal. Tho society
is now called the Canal Boat Owners’
and Commercial Association. It num
bers over 200 members.— N. V. Sun.
Smashing ’em All Up.
In 1801 when Oonerfi! McClellan made
his demonstration oil Winchester ill order
to cover his real design of approaching
Richmond by the Peninsula route,
he marched ns far as Rerryville, West
Virginia, and a little beyond there re
traced his steps and with haste pro
ceeded to embark his troops on board of
transports t 8 be carried to Fortress
Monroe.
On tho advance toward Winchester,
when the head of tho column had
reached Charlestown, greater caution
was observed on tho march, as it was
expected that the enemy would be en
countered at Berryville. A Western brig
adier was sent forward with his brigade
to feel the enemy. Now this officer had
seen service in Mexico and was ac
counted a brave and experienced officer.
As ho passed at the head of his troops
by the regiment of Col. Owen, of Phila
delphia, he stopped, and [lulling his
moustache as was his habit, said: “Look
out now, Colonel, you’ll hear music soon,
sir. I’ll knock ’em all to thunder if I
meet ’em. Make no mistako, sir.”
Then he rode on and sure enough,
about the time he should have arrived
at Berryville, tho boom of cannon was
heard and the troops hurried to tho
front. We went up at the double-quick
and when near Berryville met tho brig
adier coming back radiant with joy.
Pulling his moustache again he cried out:
“What did did I toll you? I made ’em
bounce. They bronght out a battery
into the open ground, just beyond town,
but it never fired a shot, sir. I knocked
it all to flinders la-fore it conld un
limber.” Troops hurried on and as we
came to the spot indicated wo found a
threshing machine utterly wrecked and
a dead horse in tho harness, still
hitched to it. In a house near by were
some farmers frightened half to death.
They had been going out to thresh some
grain when tho rampart brigadier saw
them and opened his batteries on them.
When the brigadier heard he had de
stroyed a threshing machine only his jaw
fell and it was many a day before he
heard the last of his ludicrous adven
ture.
Meeting Trouble,
Never meet trouble half-way
Numbers of people really make them
selves ill by going out to meet disaster
and misfortune —in other words, by
fancying all sorts of bad things are about
to happen to them.
Asa rule, not a tithe of these terrible
eventualities ever occur, and all the
shrinking apprehension is undergone for
nothing.
A man, especially a family man and a
father, ought always to prepare for tho
worst—for instance, by insuring his life.
But this is no reason for his getting up
every morning and fancying he is going
to die before noon 1
If people always lived within their
means, always had a little pnt by, and
never let the future worry them unduly,
they wonld lead far happier lives than at
present seems to be the case.
To kill the hour and leave no crevice
for repentance or an approval —that is
happiness,
IT IS BEST TO KEEP SOBER.
A YOUNG WAN IMUTNIi, ANDTIIK POSI
TION IN WIIUII IT I’IiAOKM 11 IN
IIKMT GIUI..
An Orltflnnl Wny t THlliik n illnn why It
in llt’Ml not (o Orlnk 100 Aliu’li 1 rto
1.11 in’ll*
IFromPeek’s Sun.]
A young man who signs himself “A
Bounced One,” writes and asks the fol
lowing question: “Is a girl right in giv
ing her fellow tho bounce, if he comes
home full of—uot love, but beer—once,
only once, during a two year’s engage
ment?’’ Tho girl is the one to judge
whether sho is right or not. If sho
thinks she is right, that settles it. It
does uot follow that because a young
man gets full once in a two year’s en
gagement, that he would necessarily
make a drunken husband, but a girl is
supposed to know whether she wants to
take tho chances or not. It is not a
light thing to he drunk in the presence
of one yon love, young man. You may
laugh at it, and think she will look upon
it as a joke, but you are liable to knock
all the love out of her heart, wlieu you
think you are smart. Sho thinks of you
as a noble man, and your pioture is in
her heart, engraved, ns it were, there,
just ns sho sees yon when yon aro at
your brightest and best. What a shook
it gives her to see you drunk, with your
eyes blood-shot and watery, your hair,
that, perhaps, she has stroked with her
gentle hand, all tangled np and full of
cheese sandwich ! She has admired
your gentlemanly bearing, and now she
s es you staggering, and left-handed in
both feot. She lias learned to love to
hear yon laugh, and see yon smile, and
the echoes of your pleasant words linger
in her soul, and when sho hears thut
maudlin laugh of drunkenness, and sees
a leer in place of the heavenly smile, and
listens to your words, that come thick
and uncertain, as though from your
stomach, aud sho does not know blit, the
next words that come will lie accompa
nied by stale beer and free lunch, you
cannot wonder that sho gives yon the
bounce.
You would not go and have your
photograph taken when you were drunk,
and present it to tier, and yet, when you
appear before her in that condition, your
appearance is photographed on her heart,
and the new pictures takes tho place of
(lie old one that has been there, and try
however hard sho may to see you as sho
wants to, bright and sober, and a true
lover, for tho lifo of her, sho cannot
erase the drunken picture, and while she
would forgive yon if she could, she feels
that yon have hurt her terribly. She is
not, to blame, poor girl, for bouncing
yon. You bounced yourself out of her
heart when you thought you were smart,
aud got full. True love and drunken
ness cannot exist, where the parties aro
refined. You had rather she would
bounce you than to have her tolerate you,
and always have that picture of your
drunken condition coming up before hor.
You can probably find a girl, less refined,
who would overlook your getting drunk,
and yon may marry such a one, but
you will always love the little finger of
the good girl who bounced you more
than yon can ever love tho one who will
overlook and laugh at your drunkenness.
It is a serious thing to do as you have
done, and forty years from now, instead
of thinking you did a smart thing, yon
will discover that you made a colossal
fool of yourself, if you think so now,
and decide that sho has done right and
can convince hor that you realize what
you have done, and are not too proud to
go and tell her about it, and ask her
pardon, it may be well with you, but if
you feel that she is over-nice, and has
wronged you, yon had better stay away,
and then yon ean get drunk all you want
to, with no little girl that you love, to
complain, aud you will regret your act
us long as you live, It is best to keep
sober.
An International (Juestion.
Dr. Edward Nunez, of Philadelphia
received word from relatives in Cuba
that Colonel Emilio Nunez, a tobacco
importer of that city, had been arrested
while on hoard the American schooner
John Ji. Hamil, Jr., lying in the harbor
of Sagua la Grande, Cubn. Colonel
Nunez had formerly been an officer in
the patriot army and recently applied
for a passport to return to Cuba to sottlo
his brother’s estate. This was refused.
Ho then embarked on the schooner as
one of her crew, not intending to land
on Cnban soil. The schooner reached
Cuba January 12, and two days after
ward a demand was made for the sur
render of Colonel Nunez. This was re
fused by the schooner’s captain, and an
armed crew from a man-of-war then took
him prisoner. Dr. Nunez left for Wash
ington to lay the ease before the Secre
tary of State,
“Thebe were 050,000,000 menhadon
taken in the waters about New York and
in Long Island Sound last season,” said
a dealer in oils to a reporter, “but they
were so poor that the oil secured from
them was only 1,300,000 gallons, against
nearly 82,050,000 gallons from 350,-
000,000 fish taken in 1882. The fer
tilizer made, however, in 1883 was
a third more than that made in tho
previous yoar—about 10,000 toDS against
30,000, in favor of last season. The
market is full of the fertilizer, and it
is being held for better prioes.
NO. S.
LAWSUITS FOR EVERYBODY.
Tlic tllnnncr In which n Wcwfcrn FdUor
Sol i led ono ill owl Amicably.
“Rawing it” is one of tho moat ridicu
lous parts of tho experience of Amor
cans. It seems to be considered a cheap
luxury to have a lawsuit, and yet it is
very expensive. It has got so half of the
people seem to have a chip on their
shoulder all tho time, ready for somo
body to knock it off, aiul tho firHt thing
they do when they think thoy have boon
Injured is to go for a lawyer or a justice
of the pence, and a lawsuit is the result;
men who aro not interested aro taken
from their business to act. ns jurors, and
ill feeling is created that lasts forever.
The fact that the poorest person in the
world can indulge in a lawsuit, aud he
encouraged by lawyers, and pointed at
ns “the one who had the lawsuit,” causes
many eases in courts. Instead of using
every other device for a settlement oi
differences before resorting to the courts,
a lawsuit is tho first tiling thought of.
If a man slips dowu on the sidewalk, ho
looks up to boo who owns the building
iu front of which ho fell, with n view of
suing him for damages, even before he
feels of himself to find if ho is hurt. He
does not Btop to think that perhaps his
boots are to blame, being run over at
the heel, and it does not enter his head
that ho is liable to bo beaten iu tho law
suit and havo a bill of costs saddled onto
him. Two men aro driving in opposite
directions and run into each other, and,
without stopping to reason together to
Bee if tho damage camiot ho amicably
settled, they shake their fists at each
other, call names, and one drives off
after a policeman and tho other goes to
a justico of the peaco to complain, and
a lawsuit is the result, in which both aro
damaged more than by tho accident, bnt
each always believes that the other is a
pirate, and their children quit speaking
to each other. If men who have differ
ences would go to some neighbor and
state their case and abide by his deci
sion, shake hands and be friends after
ward, the country wonld be better off’.
Not many months ago a man felt ag
grieved at something that appeared in
the Sun, and after blowing around for a
day or two ho came to the office to inter
view the editor. Ho explained his
grievance, and wound up by saying that
his lawyer had told him that tho article
wns libelous, aud that he could recover
damages. The editor nover had a law
suit and nover wanted one, and ho said
to the man:
“Partner, a lawsuit is a foolish way to
enjoy religion. Now, I’ll tell you what
to do. You go to the President of the
Merchants’ Association, of which yon
are a member and lam not. Have the
President appoint a committee of five
men from tho association to hear your
statement. You take the paper contain
ing the obnoxious article to them, and
state your case, just ns strong as you
can. I will not make any defense.
Whatever amount they say you have
been damaged I will give a check for,
and we will shake hands and be friends,
and go to the same church as usual, and
listen to tho same minister preach tho
gospel. If I havo damaged you, you
must havo your money; but wo don’t
wan’t, to spend the balance of our lives
in a lawsuit.”
Tho man stopped and thought a mo
ment, aud said:
“That is the fairest proposition I ever
heard, and yon don’t owo mo a cent, and
the matter shall drop from this mo
ment.”
If people would never go into a law
suit until they couldn’t go into anything
else, there would be fewer men with ene
mies all around, and while lawyers might
get tired sitting around, it would do
them good in the end.— Peek's Sun.
School was Out.
“ I hear a great deal of talk,” said
old Mr. Joblingson, as he drove out into
the country, the other day, in order to
enjoy a sleigh-ride with a friend, “of
the decay of manners in Americans, and
particularly iu American youth. Now
I don’t take much stock in it. To be
sure, when I was a hoy, I was taught to
say * Sir ’or ‘ Madam ’ to every man or
woman who spoke to mo, and to take
off my hat to every grown person I
might meet on my way to school.
Nowadays tho boys aro less formal, per
haps, but aro they less truly polite? I
think not. Look at tho crowd outside
tho school-house wo are just coming to.
Did you ever see a brighter, more re
spectful, quieter set of hoys? Gentle
men, ovory one of them, I make no
doubt.” Tho boys were, indeed, re
markably quiet, and when the old gen
tleman hade them “good day” as he
and his friend skimmed by, they re
sponded in fitting terms. "What did I
tell yon?” asked Mr. Joblingson
proudly, as tho congregation was
passed. But at that instant a snow-ball
came between the heads of tho pair, and,
striking tho horse, set him off at a dead
gallop; another knocked off Mr. Job
liugson’s hat; a dozen hit him and his
friend on their backs at the same instant,
and as long as they woro in rango they
were soundly peppered, amid the hoots
and yells of tho “quiet young gentle
men.” And when the horse was
stopped, and Joblingson had picked the
snow out of his ears and neck, he cursed
the youth of the present generation
roundly for a pack of roughs and incor
rigible rasoals,
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT \VK KIND IN THRU TO Nintl.B
OVKK.
MUSICAL COUNTERFEIT DBTEOTER.
"One of these dollars is a counterfeit,
ma’am.”
“How ean you toll ?”
“Simply by sound. Just tap it, an
hear how clear the genuine sounds.
That’s tenor. Notice when I tap the
other one. That’s base.”— Austin Sift
ings.
A nor WITH AN BYE TO BUSINESS.
“Please, ma’am, I’ll clean yonr side
walk for a quarter.”
“But it is cleaned. I just paid a boy
thirty cents to shovel off the snow, and
yet yon are tho sixth boy who wanted to
clean it over. I presume there’ll be
twenty more.”
"Then, ma’am, gimme fifteen cents
and I’ll sit on tho door-steps and tell ’em
they’re loft 1”
A BIRD IN THE HAND.
“My darling, yon do not bestow upon
me so much affection as yon did before
wo wore married,” romarkod a ponting
bride of four years to her husband.
“Don’t I?” ho replied.
“No, Charles, you do not; you pay
very little attention to me,” said his
wife.
“Well, my dear,” observed thewioked
husband, “did you ever see a man run
after a liorsc-car after ho had caught it ?”
CLEAR WASTE,
“You don’t call on Miss G. now ?”
“No, we’ve quit.”
“Quit? What’s the difficulty?”
“Oh, her father’s too penurious.”
“Too penurious? Why, he has th<j
reputation of being particularly liberal.”
“Perhaps he has, but ho told me the
other evening I’d better leave, as he
couldn’t afford to wasto shoe leather on
me. It’s my private opinion that that
man would skin a flea for its hide and
tallow.”— Oil Oitg Blizzard.
PERFECTLY WILLINO.
As tho President sat down Elder Pen
stock rose np. There was a yearning,
anxious expression on his face, and,
after clearing his throat of tucks and
splinters aud scrap iron, he said:
“Missnr President, in case—dat is—
in eoso yon doan’ waut ”
“Sit down I” "Fire him out I” “Snatch
him bald-headed I” came from all parts
of tho hall, accompanied by a great clat
ter of foet, and the Elder was forced to
hide his head.
ANOTHER NAME FOR THEM.
Two young ladies, one a resident of
Philadelphia and tho other of Chicago,
wore walking on Michigan avenue when
tho Philadelphia girl remarked :
“It strikes me as quite remarkable
that so many of the houses in this city
have bay windows attached to them.”
“Yes” responded the Chicago miss;
“we find them very convenient, but we
do not oall them bay windows.”
“No? What do you call them ?”
“Foot receptacles. ” — Philadelphia
Call.
WHY HE WASN'T THERE NOW.
Kosciusko Murphy, who is a book
keeper in a grocery house, mot a friend
who clerks in a cigar store on Austin
avenue, and asked him for a cigar.
“Ain’t got any,” said his friend.
“Ain't got any?” said Kosciusko.
"Why, when I used to work in a cigar
store, 1 always had my pockets stuffed
with cigars.”
“Yes; probably that’s the reason you
ain’t in a cigar store now,” was the
crushing reply. -Texas Siftings.
PROUD of rr.
Some of tho richest men in Austin
started in lifo in a modest way, and are
still plain, unpretentious people, but
their sons put on u great deal of style
One of the latter, who was better |H>sted
about other people’s affairs than about
his own family’s, remarked, snceringly,
to an acquaintance:
“Your father was nothing but a simple
stone mason.”
“I know where you got that informa
tion,” quietly remarked the other.
“From whom did I got it?”
“From your father.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because your father used to be my
father’s hod carrier.”— Texas Siftings.
SAVTNO MONEY,
Mrs. B.—“ You remember, dear, that
yon said last week I better attend Cash
A Co.’s annual remnant sale os I might
pick up a few little bargains and save
something.”
Mr. B.—“ Yes, and I hope you went,
for my business is not prospering and we
must snve where we ean.”
Mrs. B.—“ Yes, I went, and you can’t
guess how much I saved.”
Mr. B. —“How much? A dollar?”
Mrs. B.—“A dollar I I saved ten
dollars 1”
Mr. B.—“ Bless my stars. What have
you liecn doing ?”
Mrs. B.—“ Saving money just as you
said. I found a fifty dollar remnant of
silk just large enough for two dresseß
and by taking it all I saved ten dollars.
The bill will bo sent to yon to-morrow.
Shall I go again and save ”
But Mr. B. had fainted.
Very Charitable.— A lady in one ol
tho flourishing towns of Vermont had
been in New York, and on her return
was describing to her husband the chief
features of the metropolitan life which
nwl impressed themselves upon her
memory. “But there was one thing,”
she said, “which did me more good than
anything else, because it showed the re
markable growth of philanthropic ohar
,ly in our large cities. On nearly all
the streets, at very frequent intervals, I
saw Higns over tho doors reading, ‘Free
Lunch—Free Lunch.' I could not help
thinking, as I walked along, what
blessed work the relief societies in Ne 4
York aro doing.”