Newspaper Page Text
Noftl) Qeorgiki),
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
BELLTON, GrA..
BY JOHN BL ATS.
Terms—sl.o i per av un; 50 cents for six
mouths; 25 cents forth *ee no ith .
Parties a<ay fro n Bellton are requested
to send th jir nines, w.th each amounts of
money as th?y can sja-e, fron 25c. to |l.
THE WATER THAT'S PASSED.
I One of lAwrcnce Barrett’s favorite piece*.]
Listen to the water-mill
Through the live-long day,
How the clanking of the wheel*
Wear*' the hours away!
Languidly the autumn wind
Stirs the greenwood leaves:
From the fields the reapers sing,
Binding up the sheaves;
And proverb haunts my mind,
As a spell in cast:
“ The mill will never grind
With the water that has passed.’ 1
Take the lca c on t® thyself,
Loving heart and true;
Golden yean* are fleeting by,
Youth is passing, too;
Jx*am to make the most of life.
Lose no happy day,
Time will never bring thee back
Chances swept away.
Leave no tender word unsaid,
Love while life shall last—
“ The will will nevergrind
With the water that has passed. ’’
Work while the daylight shines
Man of strength and will;
Never does the streamlet glide
Useless by the mill.
Wait not till to-morrow’s sun
Beams upon the wav;
All that thou canst call tby own
Ides in thy to-day. >
Tower, intellect and health
May nnt, cannot last;
“ The mill will never grind
With the water that has pawed.”
Ob, the waisted hours of lif®
That have drifted by!
Oh, the good we might have done,
Lost without a sigh;
Love that We might once have saved
By a single word:
Thoughts conceived, but never penned,
Perishing unheard.
Take the proverb to thine heart—
Take! on, bold it fast!
“ The mill will never grind
With the water that has passed.
FOREVER!
st n.RBT H*r.woon leech.
“ Promise!"
" I do, solemnly.”
"Forever?” continued the solemn, j
broken voice.
“Forever," cried the weeping maiden
by the bedside
The wasted hands were raised over
the head of the kneeling figures; the
pale lips of the dying woman parted;
the tongue tried to utter a blessing,but
all the brightness faded from the eyes.
The woman was dead.
Two young girls knelt at the bedside.
Constince Owen was the name of one,
with sallow skin and large brown eyes;
and Edith Ormond, she was called, with
ringlets oi gold floating around Iter fair
neck, and whose head was leaning upon
the shoulders of Constance, who had
promised the dying woman to be a sister,
protector—mother, even—to the fair
maiden at her side.
The strong, faithful, homely girl
called Constance, was an adopted
daughter to the dead lady—one of those
waifs oi the street,whose only hopeof life
is in the charity of some tender-hearted
stranger. She, however, repaid her
protector by a love and regard as filial
as that of her own daughter; and when,
upon her death-bed, Mrs. Ormond bade
Constance Owen make her the solemn
promise recorded, the brave girl not
only did not falter, but whispered once
more to the stricken girl by her side :
“Yes, Edith, for the sake of the love
vour mother gave to the orphan will I
love you better than myself—forever!”
« * * * * *
Two years passed—two years since
Edith, the beautiful, and Constance,
the nravc, had lost their best friend.
The former had grown more lovely, even,
than the promi e of the dawn of her
radiant maidenhood; the latter more
homely, larger featured in the lace, but
with years i n added dignity of mien, a
more* intelligent light in the quiet,
tender brown eyes, and torce of char
acter better denned in every movement.
There came many a suitor to Bonny
brook —so the little country seat belong
ing to Edith was called—but, so far, the
little coquette did not pay much heed
to any of them. She was chasing the
butterflies of fancy around the Garden
of Eden—first youh. But at length
her beauty, grace, and, perhaps, high
social posit cn, brought one day to the
gates of Donnybrook, one- Dr. Paulding,
a superior and rising young physician,
who lived in the city close by, and
when he itad found his way to that
pleasant country nook, somehow he dis
covered patients in that vicinity very
frequently. Was it Edith’s fair face
that made him Lake that blooming high
wav soof’en?
He wa- i ndeed fascinated by her bright
girlish beauty, and one eveningafter he
bad been wandering in the gardens, un
der the moon, soft, pleasant words must
have been spoken, for after he had gone.
Edith, with a flushed face, da»hed into
the room where Constance was'awaiting
her, said in a happy, trembling voice:
“ Oh! darling, 1 am so happy. He has
told me he loved me.”
Constance spoke not a word. Edith
was held a moment to a beating heart,
a soft ki»j touched her forehead, and
the next moment rhe was alone.
“ He loves me, he loves me!”_and
Edith looked out over the gardens, fiom
which the dews of night were distilling
all their odors: she gazed at the beau
tiful moon, and peopled the shadows
with the image of the man who had
first stirred her young life with the di
vine music of love.
A month after the pleasant confes
sion bad been made. Edith was called
to the mountains of Vermont to attend
a dying aunt, the only sister of her dear
mother, and she had to proceed alone,
as Bonnybrook would have lacked a
guardian if Constance had accompa
nied her—Dr. Paulding's duties utterly
denying him that pleto i - ■
Constance was engi.,..s d in her house
duties and saw but little society, save a
The North Georgian.
vol. in.
few rustic neighbors, who recommended |
themselves by their goodness of heart, i
and certainly not by the brilliancy of ,
their wit or understanding. Once and j
awhile Dr. Paulding would ride out to I
Bonnybrook, as Constance told him, I
“ from the force of old habit,” but soon I
it seemed that the man of medicine and j
science did not carry on the converse- ,
tion with the old ease, grace, and J
spirit. What had come between Con- I
stance Owen and himself? Something |
inexplicable. The noble woman found !
a strange, rare pleasure in the society ■
of the gifted man; the scholarly man a j
sympathy with the large-hearted, in- ,
tellectual woman, which he had never
known or experienced in any of her sex.
“True,” he had said to himself, “ she
is not beautiful; indeed, measured by
the rules of beauty, she is positively
ugly. But who can gauge the charms [
of a melodious voice, or define the ten- i
derness of an honest, kindly eye?
And she, too, mused in'this wise: I
"This Dr. Charles Paulding is a mar-!
velously gifted man. What power of |
language, what treasures of imagination I
he possesses! What a noble career he I
has before him ; and Edith”—here she |
would pause and think of that clinging |
tendril, not as helping the growth of the j
oak, but as drawing from its strength. I
Yet from all such thoughts as these ■
her staunch and loyal heart would res- ;
olutely turn away—yet for all this her
speech would not come as “ trippingly
on the tongue ” as iu the old days, and
he would oftentimes finish a sentence I
in the middle of it, and then lose him- I
self iii vague glances at the ceiling or I
out into the gardens.
Oh, it was a dangerous time for both j
of these awakening hearts. But they
glided on the treacherous stream, and
seemed only conscious that the hours j
were sweet and that the sun shone on I
the waves. There was no thought; of j
disloyalty in either heart. He was, ;
above all, a man of honor, and she, of all
else, a loyal woman. Yet how hearts de- I
lude themselves. In the very pride of I
his strength Samson was shorn of his i
locks.
One quiet evening in July Dr. Pauld- ■
ing had taken tea at Donnybrook, and ;
Constance—his “hostess” only, she;
called herself—strolled down to the 1
gate with him. His impatient horse i
was biting the rough old hitching-post, I
and throwing up clouds of dust with his '
fore feet. He had been kept there for :
hours, and he seemed more eager than
his master to leave Bonnybrook behind i
him. ‘The doctor idly plucked some
heliotrope as they strolled down the 1
rose-bordered paths, and mingled with |
the flowers some dainty mignonette and 1
a pale bud or two of the tea-rose. At
last he placed the bouquet in her hands '
and said dreamily:
“Read the emblems, Constance—you [
who are a priestess in Flora’s beautiful I
temple.”
She quietly looked over them.
"Ah,” she said, “you choose well,
Sir Botanist. Here you have ‘ beauty '
in retirement, * constancy ’ —that is j
good—and I am not ‘a summer friend ’ !
—that is better than all. But you 1
flatter with your flowers nevertheless.” ;
“Not you,” he replied eageriy, al
most tenderly, and in a voice that some
how frightened her.
She replied almost coldly, although
her heart was strangely beating and
warm; unusual color was in her face.
“My best friends, doctor, will tell you
that lam ugly and commonplace. Be
lieve them, I beg of you, and do not let ;
your imagination invest me with any i
charms.”
He seemed at once to be carried away I
by his passion. He leaned over her and !
replied warmly: “ I say you are beau- I
tiful, Constance Owen. 1 feel your 1
beauty in my very soul.” But he said j
no more.
The face of Constance was a study; '
the flush that oefore had crimsoned her 1
cheeks died out, and she became ghostly I
pale. Her fingers which had clasped ,
the flowers, slowly opened and
they dropped to the ground’ at her feet.
All at once the vision of the dead
woman seemed to present itself to her
mind, and the trust she was violating
struck cold to her heart. Was'his the
“ Forever!” she had spoken? She stag
gered and would have fallen; the arms s
of Dr. Paulding were about her; but she '
waved him away in a moment with such I
a piteous, despairing gesture that he
obeyed her without a word. She only
had strength to falter:
“Go—and remember Edith ” —and
the stsggered back toward the house,
leaving him standing there, bent and
trembling.
She did not know how she reached I
her own room; the strong woman had i
learned at the moment she loved she }
must sacrifice and renounce
She stood for hours white and mo- |
tionless, looking out at the sunset and ;
the gathering gloom of evening, with j
wild thoughts chasing themselves [
through her brain, and a dumb, aching >
piain in the heart, every hope trailing I
in the dust, like those sweet flowers he ;
had given her. She laid her head after |
a while upon her hands, and wept
softly through the long, long hours, un
til she heard the village bell strike the
hour of midnight. She had prayed
and wrestled with her grief and agony,
and rose up at length quiet and calm.
She had yielded to duty and her promise
to the dead.
Somehow Constance Owen seemed te
grow prettier as the months passed by; |
there was some refining change which ,
was softening her ruggt d features and j
rounding every line in her stately form. I
The summer into autumn had flown,
and still Edith Ormond had not re- |
turned to Bonnybrook. Her aunt had !
died and letters came from time to time '
I saying that erelong she would be home, 1
BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA., MARCH 11, 1880.
I yet she came not. Could she suspect
i the disloyalty of her lover?
It was late in the fall, when the
j woods had put on their pomp of glory,
I and the chill winds sent the fallen
■ leaves through the valleys at Bonny-
I brook, when Dr. Paulding rode up to
I the bouse and asked for Constance. She
, had only received him twice before
since the summer evening, and had
then contrived, by womanly tact, not to
I be alone with him—although she no
I longer rioubted her strength. Con
j stance, on this occasion, received her
i guest alone; there seemed a strange em-
■ barrassment in his manner. After the
first greetings were over, he said:
“ Constance, I have much to say to
you to-day. Do you think you can
listen to me calmly ?”
“ Y’es,” she replied. “Ifit is upon a
i subject on which you speak”—and she
I added trembling—“ to which I should
I listen.”
“ Both,” he said. “ When first I saw
! Edith Ormond I was captivated by her
I beautv and girlish graces; I thought 1
I loved her.”
Constance would have stopped him
by a gesture, but he begged her to listen
j —“ for you can do so now,” he said,
I “ in all honor and reason.”
I He continued:
“ I never had my heart stirred by
j the full knowledge of love, however, un
til I knew you and discovered the
wealth of your sympathies and the
womanliness of your character. I
I never respected you more than when
i you rejected me, knowing I was the en
i gaged husband of Edith. But fate has
I been kind to us both.” His voice was
' trembling with emotion. " Read the
last part of this letter.”
He handed a folded paper to Con
; stance, who took it as one in a dream.
“ From Edith?” she said.
I “Yes.”
The portion she read ran thus:
“So you see, dear Dr. Paulding, it is
I better I should tell you now, that I have
I met one here—my cousin Ray—whom I
, feel that I love better than anybody in
j the world. I have promised to be his
wife and I am sure you will forgive me,
: for you are so noble and grand and all
i that, and I should feel, I know, that I
never could fill Worthily the exalted
I sphere of Dr. Paulding's wife— ’
Constance could read no more; a mist
| gathered over her eyes, but this time a
' strong arm was about her and a voioe,
deep and melodious, whispered to her:
‘ “ Dearest Constqnno, will ynn he mine
:it~ last?” Their lips met for the first
I time iu one long kiss of love, and her
I answer was: “Yes, thine—forever.”
Wanted Exercise. «
[lndianupoliii Journal.]
An ordinary lookingtraveler went into
I the dining hall at the Union Depot the
I other day, carrying a nice satchel. He
I walked up to the counter, put down the
satchel, called for a cup of coffee and a
; pieceof pie, which he devoured. Leaving
! the satchel by the counter he sauntered
! to the other side of the room, and en
i tered into conversation with a gentleman
I there.
A policeman coming in and seeing the
satchel apparently without an owner,
picked it up, and said : “ Hello, anyone
know anything about this keyster?”
“ That’s mine,” said the traveler.
“ Better take care of it or some one
will steal it.”
“Oh, I guess not; I’m an old trav
eler.”
The policeman walked out; in a few
minutes in came a dapper little man,
looked carelessly around, saw the sat
chel, carelessly walked over to it, care
lessly picked it up, and was going for
the door when the owner sang out:
“Hello! where you going?”
“ Going to a hotek”
“ Well, what are you doing with that
satchel?" going over to him. "That’s
my satchel, hand it over.” But d. 1. m
held on to it, and without any ado the
traveler knocked him down a time or
two, and was proceeding to polish him I
off nicely when interrupted by the po- |
licemaa, who separated the men, and
while receiving an explanation from the
stranger, the thief escaped. The trav
eler put his satchel down by the coun
ter, where it was before, and went to
■ the other side of the room to continue
; the conversation.
The policeman eyed the satchel, then
the man, and walking over to him,
S lid: “Now, see here, what do you mean
leaving that bag over there; what sort
of game is this, anyway?"
" Well, I’ve been traveling for over
six weeks, and I’m pining for a little
i gentle exercise; tiiat’sall,”|said the trav
‘ eler.
Fashionable Pawning.
American ladies can hardly form an
! idea of the immense extent of thepawn
i ing business in Paris, which is largely
; carried on by women. Thousands of
I ladies in that city who move in fashion
i able circles almost continually have
: some portion of their wardrobe and
I jewelry in pawn. Os late a new branch
lof trade has sprung up. Furs that have
been pawned are hired out by the day,
or even by the hour. A lady may ap
pear on some cold day in an elegant fur
cloak, which she hired of a pawn
broker for a few hours, which cloak has
been pawned by some other lady who
desired to make a marked display in
some other direction—perhaps in jew-
■ elry, or an elaborate costume. With
| out one knows absolutely the financial
I standing of an elegantly dressed lady in
i Paris, one cannot tell whether she has
| been costumed at the pawn-shop or
I not. And this is a phase of fashionable
I life in Paris!
I Onions are prescribed as a sure cure
i for clerical kissing.
SOUTHERN NEWS.
The State Treasury of Texas has a
sash balance of $350,000.
One hundred thousand sheep are
taxed in Coleman County, Texas.
The “Young Daughters of Enoch” is
the name of a secret colored benevolent
society chartered iu Virginia.
Twenty-six fish ponds have been
stocked by artificial means in Thomas
County, Ga.
The ..Etna furnace at Rome, Ga., is
turning cut an average of twelve tons
of good pig-iron per day.
The popular vote in Nashville and
Edgefield, Tenn., on the question of an
nexing the latter to the former, re
sulted in favor of the affirmative.
Dr. Sears has allowed SBOO on the
Peabody fund this year in the schools of
Denison, Texas, and proffers to the
high schools of Texas fifty Peabody
arize medals.
Rev. Jacob Young,ot Irwin county,
Ga., killed a catamount that was known
to have killed over one hundred sheep,
and was a terror to all the sheep owners
in the county.
Atlanta has four public colored
schools and three schools for the superior
education of colored people. The latter
schools have an aggregate attendance of
820 students.
Columbia, 8. C., has seven printing
offices, giving employmenttofourty-two
journeymen printers, besides the usual
number of apprentices. There is also a
book-bindery in the city.
A hopse belonging to the New Or
leans fire department died last week at
the age of thirty-seven years. The fire
company paid $375 for him, and he did
active work as an engine-horse for four
teen years.
Edgefield, the beautiful suburban
v'llage recently annexed to Nashville,
will probably be known as East Nash
ville in future. Edgefield has a sepa
rate existence of thirty-seven years, and
now includes property worth $3,000,000.
The Chairman of the Military Cam
irittee of <i>» Directors of the Nashville
Centennial offers $2 000 for the best
drilled military companies taking part
in the celebration. A number of com
panies will be present from other Stales.
A bill is before the Virginia Legis
lature to amend the criminal law so as to
include razors in the act in which con
cealed weapons are defined, and to make
it a misdemeanor to carry a razor ha
bitually, the penalty of which shall be
a fine of SSO.
'There have been presented to the city
of Chattanooga two pieces of property
on the river bank, including 2,000 feet
of river frontage, to be used for a wharf,
with the express understanding that no
tariffs are to be charged on freight landed
there.
Mr. Ellis, a widow in Ellis County,
Ga., armed herself with an ax, attacked
a huge wild-cat andcameout victorious.
The Arlington Advance says that this
was a very bold act, as even old hunters
would not dare to approach one of these
ferocious varmits in that way.
Richmond (Va.) Commonwealth: A
man named Weakley died a few days
since in Culpeper County, aged JOS
years. It is supposed his death w’as
hastened by the use of tobacco, to which
he was addicted for a period commenc
ing shortly after the conclusion of the
Revolutionary war.
Affidavits have been sworn out
charging the daily papers of Wheeling.
W. Va., with Sabbath desecration by
employing workmen on Sunday, in vio
lation of the State laws. The law and
order party say they will fight to the
bitter end, and have employed detect
ives.
A gentleman at Atlanta has pur
chased Confederate currency amounting
to over $1,000,000, which he will use
:s circulars, printing his advertisement
<n the back of each bill. He is of the
ipinion that many millions of this cur
■ency are still in existence, and that
here are many parties who are hoarding
t carefully, expecting some day to see
t worth 100 cents on the dollar.
The fine animal, " Boeuf Gras,”
irhich headed the procession on Mardi
jJras at New Orleans, is pure white,
sight feet eight inches long from the
toms te root of tail, eight feet eight
riches round the withers, nine feet three
nches around the protine, fifteen and
three-quarter hands high, and weighs
(omething Itss than three thousand
pounds; is in prime health and as gen
tle as a lamb.
In Blount County, Ala., a dance was
given at the residence of a well-to-do
farmer at some distance from the county
town. Several yonng men from" town
came out in full dress, anticipating lo!s
as fun, but were met at the door by the
old gentleman, who said that the dance
was for his neighbors’ boys and girls,
and he wanted nobody to fool around
who could not wear jeans an<J dance an
Old Virginia reel.
NO. 10.
Lands in Sumter, Marion, Clarendon
and Williamsburg counties, 8. C., which
eighteen months ago were offered at $2
per acre without purchasers, are now
selling freely at $lO per acre. One
Northern farmer, who bought land in
Sumter County, claims to have made
last year thirty bushels of wheat to the
acre of better quality than he had ever
raised in the North, and more salable in
the markets, and had also raised fifty
bushels of oats to the acre.
Dr. C. M. Vaiden, a leading philan
thropist of Mississippi, is dead. The
greater portion of Dr. Vaiden’s life was
spent in the State of Mississippi, where
as a physician, planter and merchant he
had a career of great success and use
fulness. He was so fully impressed with
the value and importance of education
that he maintained at his own cost
many students at the schools of his
State, not less than sixty of them being
sustained at the University of Missis
sippi by his munificence, and it was while
on a visit to this institution in the inter
est of the education of the voung men
of the State that he contracted the
disease which led to his untimely tak
ing off.
Mormon Maledietion.
[Rail Lftko Special to Chicago Tribune.]
There was a tragic scene witnessed
here to-day at the Fourteenth Ward
Assembly Rooms. The occasion was
the funeral services of a young man
named Cain. He was the son of a for
mer influential Mormon who possessed
very valuable property in the center of
the city, but was cheated out of his pos
sessions by Brighant Young during his
tyrannical reign. At the father’s death
young Cain sued for his inheritance,
and succeeded in securing many rights.
At the same time he apostatized from
the Mormon faith. He was young and
very popular here, and had no faults
save intempprance. Recently he visited
his sister at Coalville, and while there
contracted typhoid fever, which, in the
end, proved fatal. His remains were
brought to this city, and his mother,
still au adherent to Mormon tenets, in
sisted on his burial by the Church
John Tavlor, President of the church,
officiated. He made some fitting re
marks, and then said:
“ But let us return to the young man.
Was he a Saint? No. He was once a
Saint, but departed front the Church
He left the faith. Did he die a Saint?
No; he died a dfunkard, and will find a
drunkard’s grave. He has gone to hell,
and there is where he deserved to go.”
With one wild shriek, the mother
screamed:
“ My God, my God, my only son, and
to think that his only fault should be
thus made public!” and fainted.
The sister, overcome with grief, did
likewise. They were taken home, and
have since been under the care of a
physician. The course of Taylor is ac
counted for by bis desire to stop apos
tatizing by young Mormons, but it is
condemned here by all, save fanatics.
Bayonets at Alma.
One of the characteristics alluded to
was the manner in which the Russians
used the bayonet. They stood firm,
shoulder to shoulder, and held their
weapon tight, at the “charge” with the
point raised toward the faces of their op
ponents, never moving the while, unless
thrust at, when they would rouse up
and thrust back in return—slowly, but
strongly. Our fellows upon closing,
finding them immovable and unflinch
: ing, commenced fiercely thrusting at
I them, and owing to the lack of guard-
I ing on the part of the Russians, th«
thrust would often tell—but still not
enough to break their ranks. Then
commenced our characteristics; where
we could not break through in front,
we would try one side then the other;
now shifting, now turning, ever on the
move; drawing back for concentration,
and then rushing forward, officers using
their Colt’s revolvers meanwhile.
It was iu one of these concentrated
rushes that we succeeded in penetrating
this “phalanx;” but our previously
“blown” men were now tired and ex
hausted after the march and the scrambl
ing, upward nature of the conflict, and
their bayonet thrusts, though constant
and fierce, were not so rapidly given as be
fore; however, like the peculiar dog
whose name is frequently used to char
acterize the Briton, they “hung on”
thrusting slowly but deadly, in silence;
perspiration streaming down their faces,
blood from their wounds, and their
weapons reeking, they struggled on, up
ward and onward, winning their way
step by step, over the fallen bodies of
friend ana foe, till finally victory
derchcd upon their banners.
Not that Kind of a Starcher
An absent-minded man, traveling
: with his wife in a railroad car, left her
1 side to cet a drink. When he returned
!’he dropped into a seat, immediately in
1 front of his better-half, beside an unpro
; tected female over whose head the snows
I of about thirty-eight winters had glode.
His wife was looking out of the car win
dow at the scenery and didn’t not'cehis
awful blunder. Presently, without
turning his head, he impatiently re
marked : “ Jane, how often have I told
you not to starch my shirts so infernally
stiff.” The ancient female whose for
ward name happened to be Jane,
screamed “ Monster,” and fainted on
the spot, and the absent-minded man
looked uncomfortably warm as he
changed seats.
A Washington correspondent notices
that in promenading the men there lake
the women’s arms. .
Published Every Thursday at
BELLTON. OEORGHA?
JtAT/JS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
One year (52 number-), $100; six months
(26 numbers) 50 cents; three months (23
numbers), 25 cents.
Office in the Smith building, ea'.t of the
depot.
PASSING SMILES.
Sunday school teacher—“ Annie, what
must one do to be forgiven?” Annie—
“ He must sin.”
All the world may die, the hard
hearted Dutchman sheds not a tear over
his beer.
It would be easy to learn a foreign
language if, as the Irishman said, “ it
oauld only be spoke in English.”
Kleptomania is getting to be a very
common disease among the upper classes,-
eo likewise is umbrellatomania.
There is not half the satisfaction in
reading a borrowed paper that there is in
perusing your own. Try it, borrowers.
“ Married life,” moralizes an author,
“is not all made up of sunshine and
peace.” We should judge not Espec
ially when its twins.
In old times it was the custom to ex
claim to bores and such people: “Go
to!” The same expression, with addi
tions, is used to-day.
Somebody has started the story that
when a young boarding-school miss was
informed there were no gooseberries for
sauce, she wanted to know what had
happened to the goose.
A little boy watched his father ad
just a billiard table with a spirit level.
After the old man had finished the job
he remarked: “ Now, pa, see if my head
is level.”
It is said that Victor Hugo kisses the
ladies at meeting and parting. That’s
all right at parting, but kissing them at
meeting is a new dodge in the way of
getting up a religious revival.
School-mistress (just beginning a
nice improving lesson upon minerals to
the juniors)—“ Now, what are the prin
cipal things we get out of the earth?”
Youthful angler, aged four (confiden
tially)—“Worms 1”
Lying is;a sin destructive to society
says a noted writer. When a fellow
has a willing wife and wet kindling
wood, the chances are that he’s going
to lie every morning and society can
suffer the consequences.
The sale of the paintingsand sketche'
of the late Mr. Hunt, in Boston, brought
his family the snug sum of $63,887.
American art is not wholly neglected by
Americans,
The Texas style of popping the ques
tion: “I’se a gret mind to bite you.”
“What have you a great mind to bite
me for?” “Kase you won’t have me.”
“ Kase you ain’t axed me.” “ Well, now
lax you.” “ Then, now I has you.”
The best poet fob the head—Hood.—
Little's Living Age. The best writers for
the stomach—Bacon and Lamb. (We
hope this thing will stop right here.) —
Scientific, American. No! no! Let’s
have Moore. The scandalmonger’s poet
Sully.— Public Opinion.
The King of the Belgians has confer
red the Leopold Cross on Rosa Bonheur,
artist. She is the first lady receiving
the distinction. The King of Spain
also conferred on this distinguished
painter an equally high order, never
before granted to a lady.
It is no wonder the Binghamton
people drink so much whisky. Accord
ing to the Leader the following list of
articles have been found in their drink
ing water: “ Nitzchia curvulrt, cymatop
leura elliptica, stauroneis, punctata,
pleurosiema spencerii and rhizosolenia
eriensis.”
When the enterprising swindler isn’t swindling,
—isn’t swindling—
When the “sinner” isn’t occupied in sin,
«evpie<l in sia—
He loves to wat«h the big bank assets dwindling,
—as it’s dwindling—
And calculate the mim that ho is “in,”
—he is “iu.”
—Puck.
“ Ma,” said a little girl, “ I think
Aunt Rose is getting to be an old maid.”
“Why?” asked the mother. “Because
she is all tne time finding fault with her
lookimr glass, and begins to drink her
tea without sugar, and won’t tell her
age, and —” But the mother pretended
she had to look after affairs in the
kitchen, and didn’t stay to hear the rest
of the “ symptoms.”
“I wish you would keep your mouth
shut!" exclaimed Hollemoiit, the
dentist, suddenly losing patience with
his patient's predilection to talking.
“All right,” said the latter, suiting the
action to the word. And then Holle
mout asked him if he would be so kind
as to open it again long enough for him
(Hollemout) to get his finger out. You
never de know how to please some men.
II e stood with his car to the telephone
At r time when he hadn’t ougnter,
And caught the words in a distant room
Os his only child—a daughter.
The sounds he heard to his heart sharp went
Like the stroke of a reaper’s sickle.
“ Oo! Oo! good gracious, Neddie, dear,
How yrur mustache does tickle!”
Then the father, he
Went quite crazee.
And bare his bosom throwing:
Ilf stabbed himself with a tcJepiione Hire
And set his life-blood flowing.
“ Come to this bosom my onliest only
dear,” he gently murmured. And when
she spit on her hands and made a run
ning jump for him, remarking in her
flight “ You may just bet your sweet
life I’m thar, old hoss,” he concluded it
must be the new hired girl, instead of
his Clarissa Maria whom he had met in
the dimly lighted hall, and he hastily
got behind the sofa till the storm blew
over.
“No, no, no! Tommy, that isn’t the
way to do it; poetry is written by the
feet,” said an exasperated father to his
six-year-old son who was trying to write
a parody on ‘ Pussy Cats.” “Written
by the feet?” “ Yes, certainly.”
“ Well, by golly!” exclaimed the little
fellow, as he swung his handsand gazed
at his worthy tire’s No. 10’s, “ darned if
I don’t think you’re, right, old man, by
jest taking a squint at them feet of
yours. I s’pose that’s why some lines is
so much bigger than others, ain’t it?”
But the old gentleman vrould’t see the
point,