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” Aortl) Georgia!],'
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BILJ.TON, GA.
I
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P er a ’” nm ;£0 cents for six
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arties away from Belltcn are requested
Wseu4 t£eir names, with such amounts of
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MISSES.
# BY ROSE HARTWICK TItORPE.
t Author of “ 6urfpw Shall Not Ring To-night.”]
Lit lie child, d-t-.cn fR slight shadows
Close* the western gates of gold.
Then th<«e loving arms of mother’s
Tenderly ahml thee fuld.
Cvtfr lip. and check, and forehead,
Lite a shower caresses fall;
For a mother's kiss at twilight
Is the sweetest kiss of, all.
Pretty maiden at the gateway,
£hy» tac« and downcast eyes,
Two White, trembling hands impawned,
How the golden moment Hies!
IJps that softly press thy forehead,
All | fee rosy blushes call:
For a lover’s ktes at twilight
1« the fondest kiss ol all.
► Bftppy wife, thy noble husband,
More than half h lover yet—
For thojH' sunny hours of wooing
Are too sweet to soon target-
On thy smiling Ifps uplifted,
Full of love his kisses fail.
For a husband's kiss at parting
la the dearest kiss of all.
Weary mother, little children
With their dimpled hands so fair,
Pacing Over cheek and forehekd,
Soothe away all pain and care.
Lead your doubting heart to Leaven,
Where no dreary shadows fall,
‘For the kiss of sinless childhood
As the purest kiss ui all.
ADVENTURE IN THE ANDES.
In the year 1871, the narrator was
factor or agent for a firm doing business
in New York and Valparaiso; anti in
April of that year it became necessary
for me co make a journey from the lat
ter city to Mendoza, which is the capi
tal of one of the States of the Argen
tine Republic.
‘ Upon this journey I had for a travel
ing companion a young ensign, named
Seaver, from the Uniled States ship L—,
then in harbor of Valparaiso, and two
peons (grooms); and we traveled in
company with a Government courier
who had the mail in charge.
•fluf route lay across the Cordillera
Andes), and was made by
way of the Usaplata Pass; and it was
•during our trip over the mountains that
I was an eye-witness of the foilowing
portions incident.
Both Seaver and myself were young
men to whom the trip was a novel ex
perience.
Leaving Santiago on the 11th of the
month, we immediately entered among
the foot hills, our route taking us grad
ually yet constantly upward, and in
four days reached the summit-ridge of
the “ paso,” thirteen thousand feet
above the sea-level at the Port.
Our nights were passed at the
“ casuches,” or shelters of brick or stone,
built by the Chilian Government for the
protection of travelers.
From the Western side the ascent
presents no great difficulty: though
often devious and steep, the path is
quite safe. Nothing can exceed the
grandeur of the mountain scenery from
the dividing ridge of the Uspalata
range.
The air, from its rarity at this great
height, is wondrously clear. The gla
ciers, across the deep, daik gorge on the
left, glitter like roseate crystal; while
on the right towers the vast snow-white
cone of Tupungati. Though already
thirteen thousand feet above the plains,
this enormous peak rises fully eleven
thousand feet higher, dazzling the eye
with its pure bright robe of everlasting
snow.
Summer and winter it stands, alike,
white and cold. Never had the brilliant
beauty and grandeur of the Andes im
pressed me so deeply, unless perhaps
when first the long white line of sun
tipped peaks opened to my Northern
eyes on entering the harbor of Valpa
raiso.
But the descent of the mountains on
the east side toward Mendoza, io a mat
ter of far more peril. Before us lay
the dreaded laderas which we had fre
quently heard spoken of; and many of
the stories related concerning them had
filled us with a vague apprehension of
coming danger.
The term ladera is given to a narrow
path which threads the s-ide of a steep
mountain, particularly when along the
brink of precipices and overhung by
crairs. On the Uspalata paso there are
three of these laderas, of which the third
and last, going eastward, is by far the
worst.
It is railed the Laderda Vacoslase, or
the “Uow Path.” Beneath it flows the
Rier de las Voids, or Cow River. The
peiyjs related some story connected with
the name which, however, the long
rough journey has jolted out of my mind
past recall.
On the second afternoon after passing
Tupungati, the guides told us that the
laderas would be reached next morning;
but as it proved we were to have com
pany in passing them. Thus far we
had’ seen few travelers on our way,
having met only a Government courier
and a German-Jew clothing-dealer.
But that evening the tinkle of mule
bells along the path ahead announced
that a numerous troupa, or caravan, was
not far in advance; a d just at sunset
we came up with their bivouac in the
lea of a cliff which offered them sheltej
from the chill evening wind.
It was a party of political refugees, as
we understood, that had left Mendoza
during a late civil disturbance, now on
their return. The party numbered
rising seventy persons among whom were
twelve or fifteen women, some of these
latter plainly ladies of good birth, and
at least twenty children under the age
of ten.
For company’s sake we made our own
bivouac a little the right of them; and
during the evening they testified their
good will by first sending us a present
of cake am a bundle of cigaritos, and
afterwards freely coming to our fire and
engaging in friendly conversation.
The North Georgian.
\ OL. 111.
Early in the morning we were roused
by the cries of the muleteers. Our
’ friends were already astir, taking their
■ mate (tea), and preparing to set forth.
| A long line of mules stood in the path,
each with a huge wicker panier, or
I double basket slung across its hack. The
, use of these I was not long in learning;
they were for carrying the children. The
little girlsand boys were put in the
I baskets, one on each side of the mule's
I back, and the covers shut. Doubtless
I this was the safest plan; yet it was not
| without a thrill of fear, and 1 thought
of the laderae before them; por did I
' wonder at the fond, anxious kiss that
’ each mother bestowed on her darling
ere the panier cover was shut and the
mule started forward - .
i First went the mules with the pack
saddles of luggage, then followed those
w.'th the children, while those ridden by
’ the women brought up the rear.
We hurried our own preparations and
set off close behind the troupe, curious
' to see them make the transit of the
I difficult paths ahead,
A ride of less than a league down the
valley now brought us to the first of the
i laderas. It is the least difficult of the
I three; and at the sight of it I felt for
■ the time quite relieved, for it did not
seem so very perilous. The path is
■ nowhere on this one less than a yard in
| width, and in but one place did the
; rocks impend over it. Upon the lotver
side the mountain sloped steeply down
! into a ravine; and at points showed
precipice# with two or three hundred
I feet sheer descent. The path curves
' round the side of the mountain, and is,
j I should judge, a mile in length.
On coining to the head of the path
! where it begins to thread the brink of
I the gorge, the caravan had halted; and
' the chief muleteer, or eapitaz, gave
l some directions. Girths were tightened,
; and then, at the word, the leading mule
' started forward with his nose to the
j ground carefully smelling out each step,
I his bell tinkling fitfully.
The others followed. Save De tinkle
i of the bells, not a sound was to be
heard except now and then a sharp
' word from the capitaz: “ A la dcreche!”
(To the right)—“ Pass por alia!" (Pass
that way)—"A la izguierda.!" (to the
left) — "Adalanta!’ (Move forward
there) — "Estese ahi!" (Stay where you
are) —“ Vaya un poco atras!" (Back a
little) — "No vaya tan de prisa!" (Not
so fast there.) *
Senverand I sat watching them till they
had all passed round a bend of the path
out sight: we then dismounted, some
what to the astonishment of our peons.
Nothing would have tempted me to ride
along these paths. I prefer to trust my
own leg to those of a mule in such
places, but of all the caravan ahead of
us rot a person dismounted, and our
peons declared that it is safer to ride
than walk.
The second of the laderae, which we
came to in the course of an hour, is
much like the first, a trifle narrower, I
thought, and was passed in the same
manner; and at about eleven o’clock we
reached the “cow-path.”
A glance at this third ladera showed
that what we had had was but a for
taste of what was to come. The mule
train had halted on the little plateau
above it. The capitaz was giving orders
rapidly; the women looked nervous,
rale and alarmed; and some of the
children were crying in their paniers.
The path seemed narrow and lough.
It led down among rocks, at first, then
bended along the brink of a'.cliff for sev
eral hundred yards; and away down at
the lowest, worst part of it, it turns at
right angles round a projecting rock and
thence leads un a steep incline.
This is the point of greatest danger.
For that portion of the path leading
down to this turn is almost as steep as
1 the room of a house. Looking down at
it, either way, it seems as if you would
j there come to a jumping-off place, and
I once over the brink of the path, one
I would slide down a smooth ledge for a
hundred feet or more *to the top of a I
cliff which overhangs the deep river, |
nobody knows how many feet below. ;
Down at the “elbow” the solid rock
of the pathway is worn into tracks, or
holes, six and eight inches in de»th, by
the feet of the mules, each one of which
steps exactly in the truck of the animal
before him. In making the turn at this
I point, the mules have literally to bend
their bodies; and the rider has here to
look out for his ofi leg, for the animals,
conscious of the great danger, bear hard
against the projecting rock on the upper
side.
My friend and I had climbed out on
the rocks to the left of the path, in order
to have a good view of the caravan as it
wound down the ladera and doubled the
elbow. “ What think you of this,
Seaver?” I said to him. “I think it is
an institution peculiar to the country,”
he said.
The mules seemed to dread the descent.
The head mule hung back and would not
start at the word; but a few blows from
therebengue (whip) set him going, though
very cautiously, with his nose closely
applied to the path. Gradually the ani
mal worked bis way down to the elbow,
then with a sharp “squirm” to right,
rounded it and went up the incline out
of s’ght beyond.
The second mule stopped short several
times. But the muleteers shouted to
him and threw stones till he started on.
One after another the eight pack-mules
went down and around. Then came the
eleven panier-mules with the children.
Though a foreigner and a stranger, I
felt my breath quicken at the peril to
i which the little things were exposed.
For there seemed more danger to these
| than to the pack-animals, in that the
' paniers were larger and more unwieldly
j than the pack saddles. “ 0 rnadre! 0
I padre I" the children cried. “0 mi madre!
BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA.. APRIL 22, 1880.
Metcmo!’ (I am afraid.) "Metemo!
Adondc ircmos!" (Where are we going.)
‘ Respondame, mi madre!" (Tell me,
mother.) “A nimo mi corazonito! A
ninth, mi rpi rida!" (Cheer up, my lit
tle heart. Cheer up, my little dear),
their mothers kept repeating to quiet
them; though they were far from easy
themselves.
j One after the other the pauier-mules
j smelled their way down the path and
went round the turn. So sharply did
! they press the baskets against the rock
I at the bend, that I could plainly hear
( the wicker-work crackle. Eight had
I pas.-ed round out of sight in safety, but
the ninth one in order, either from
pressing his panier too hard against the
stones, or from the sudden muscular
effort it made to double the angle
I threw its two hind legs off the narrow
shelf.
Instantly a terrible cry arose from the
group of anxious parents above us,
mingled with the excited shouts of the
muleteers: "'Subaf Rage! Carrambo!"
But all stood as if paralyzed, their eyes
riveted on the mule; and in truth there
was no such thing as getting down to
him past the others.
The animal’s hind quarters were off
the rock, but it clung on by its fore legs
and nose. We could actually see the
poor beast gripping hold of the reek
[ with its teeth.
I Seaver and 1 both ran along deter
mined to get past the other mules, if we
had to climb over their backs. For we
could hear these two children scream
ing and crying, "() ayndeme, mi madre!"
It seem a sight to move the very stones.
But the shouting and tumult had
started the other mules briskly forward.
One or two stepped past where the
fallen animal still clung on, but another,
hurrying by, knocked the poor creature’s
nose off with its feet or its panier, and
to our horror, we saw mule and basket
slide down the steep ledge to the brow of
the cliff, where he seemed to bound off,
and wheeling over in mid-air, fell
with a sudden plunge into the black
stream beneath.
“ He's gone! They're lost!" groaned
the ensign. Like an echo came the cry,
“ Todos murieron!" (They are all dead!)
from the party above us, mingled with
the sobs of the women.
But the mule rose after a moment,
and I saw that it was making an at
tempt to swim, though grievously
weighted down with its load, which still
kept its place on its buck. Seeing this,
there was a rush of the muleteers back
alon.r the path to a point where it was
possible to descend to the river. Keuyar
and I ran with them, and I recollect
taking some prodigious leaps downward
from rock to rock. Reaching the bed of
the torrent, we followed along beneath
the cliff, partly in the water, and some
fifty or sixty rods below, came upon the
mule stranded in an eddy against a
boulder, his nose out of water, and his
long, thin, wet tail floating out behind.
The paniers, too, were not wholly
under. One of the peons instantly
lassoed the mule, and in less than half
a minute, we had hauled him ashore and
torn the covers off the drenched and
broken baskets.
The poor little creatures lay quite
limp and breathless, each with its black
hair streaming over its wan face. I
thought it, impossible that there could
really be life left in them after such a
fall; and to add to the piteousness of
the scene, the poor half-distracted
mother came running through the water
where we stood, and gathering them
both, in her arms, sobbed and cried,—
“ 0 mi queridita, mi alma, mi aida!”—
' (My little darling, my soul, my lifel)
. How she had got down there, over such
rocks and crags, is more than I can un
derstand.
But we could find no bruises on
them; and heaven war kinder to the
poor mother than we at first feared. By
vigorous chaffing, they were revived.
And as for the mules, saving for a few
patches of skin scoured off him as he
! slid down the ledges, he was, for aught
j else visible, as good a mule as ever.—
I Youth's Companion.
A Woman’s Strategy.
(New York Commercial Advertiser.]
When Miss Fannie 8. Green, the
ward of David Jones, proprietor of the
Bark Brewery, returned to her house in
New Rochelle from the Police Court,
the other day, she found it in possession
of a man named Kelley, who was em
ployed by a relative of her guardian.
The effort to dispossess her appeared to
have been successful. Officer J. W.
Uenniger, whom she had left in charge,
had been won over by Kelley and had
admitted him to her premises. While
Miss Green’s lawyer engaged the atten
tion of the two men, the lady herself
secured a ladder and nimbly climbed
upon the roof. Then she made her way
1 to the open window of her own room
1 and climbed in. Kelly heard her foot
. steps upon the roof and commenced an
i investigation. Miss Green slipped from
| her room and closed and bolted the
' skylight after him. He was now one of
the " outs,” and was obliged to climb
down the ladder. Going down stairs,
Miss Green said to Henniirer: “Oh,
you are here yet, are you? Well, if
you intend to stay here, you must make
yourself useful. Will you please to get
me a scuttle of coal from down stairs?”
I He took the hod, and she locked the
J door behind him, and left him to climb
i through the cellar window as best he
i could. She was now in comple'e pos
session once more, and she admitted her
lawyer and her friends, who will see
! that she is not again molested.
Success is the card that wins. Even
! the succesful fool is applauded, while
I the philosopher who fails ia hissed.
SOUTHERN NEWS.
Macos, Ga., has funded $107,000 of
her debt
About SIOO worth of fresh fish is sold
in Charlotte, N. C., daily.
Tomato plants have borne fruit all
winter at Brookville, Fla.
TniRTY-EtOnT stirvivers of the Mexi
can war reside in Knox County, Tenn.
New Orleans has a Catholic popula
tion of 250,000.
Louisiana is-to hnve a State Board of
Agriculture and Immigration.
T'he court-house at Osceola, Fla., is
suiTouiuied by vigorous orange trees.
They have snow-white partridges in
Hamilton County, Fla
The North Carolina Board of Health
publishes a monthly bulletin
Farmers in Berrien, County. Ga.,
grow mulberry trees for their fruit, for
hogs.
THE cotton factory nt Tuscaloosa,
Fla , is now using eighty-five bales ot
cotton per mouth.
Tun farmers of Tatnall County, Ga.,
have invested $15,C00 in mules since the
Ist of January.
The cotton compress now being erec
ted at Atlanta will be tho largest in the
world.
Tile equestrian statue of Andrew
Jackson, by Clark Mills, weighs fifteen
tons.
It is a time-hosorefi custom in Quincy,
Fla , to salute a new-married couple by
firing a Cannon.
The shipment of peas from Florida
be j already ceased for this season on
a', count of low prices iu the North
The city of Galveston has granted the
United ;t ites Government a site for a
am.iantine hospital
E> tier Morgan, of Georgia, claim#
that the Mormon Church is daily gain
ing strength aad favor in the South
Over 400 miles of the Richmond and
Southwestern Railrtiad, a double track
narrow guage line, will be located in
Virginia.
The average progress of the Southern
PacificJlailroitd for twenty-five working
days pg.! h«“ Been 10,000 feet, or nearly
two miles per day.
The Clinton Cotton Factory, at Spar
tanburg, S. C , has secured stock to the
amount of S2OO 000, which is all that is
wanted at present.
It is estimated by the New Orleans
Times that there are now in that city no
less than 4,500 buildings waiting occu
pants, who are not expected until the
business boom in September.
Genuine Kentucky blue-grass is ap
pearing as a volunteer in Oglethorpe
County, Ga. Some farms are being
covered with it, and it is rooting out the
Bermuda grass.
The Louisiana Sugar Planters’ Asso
ciation has petitioned the City Council
of New Orleans to enlarge the present
landing arid sugar sheds, and to abso
lutely prohibit the «ale un the landing
of all sugars received.
It is estimated that mules and other
live stock, valued at $109,000, have died
in the Ouachita valley section of Louisi
ana from a disease produced by the bite
of gnats that have lately invaded that
section.
On the streets of the ancient city of
St Augustine, Fla., may be met organ
grinders, fortune-tellers, scissor-esharp
eners, monkey-shows, piano-tuners, beg
gars, lottery soap-sellers, jig dancers,
bunko men, yellow dogs and custom
house officers.
Norfolk Virginian: The appropria
tion of $35,000 to erect a quarantine
building at Hampton Roads has been
practically defeated by the failure on
the part of the Legislature to grant the
right to the United States to purchase
the site for the same.
Charlotte (N. C.) Observer: A
large-boned countryman stepped into a
restaurant in this city the other day,
and asked for a thirty-five cent dinner.
He ate eleven pieces of shad, aggregat
ing three whole fish, at fifty cents apiece,
sight biscuits and four cups of coffee,
and then innocently inquired if he had
eaten his money's worth.
Gen. Imboden, who represents a large
company of Northern capitalists, has
purchased 42,000 acres of land in Scott
County, Va., nt fifty-five ccnta per acre.
This land ia believed to lie rich in iron
ares, and furnaces will be built at once,
as wen as a narrow-gauge railroad to con
nect with some other line of transporta
tion.
Increased enterprise and activity are
being manifested in the business of cot
ton manufacturing in North Carolina.
The High Point Manufacturing Com
pany will be forced, after this month, tc
run their factory day and night, and to
increase their capital from $30,000 to
$50,000. At Charlotte buildings are
being erected for spinning warp and
yarns. Six thousand sp'ndles will ly>
employed and a capital of $75,000 in
vested. In Randolph County two new
NO. IG.
factories are being built and two others
in contemplation. In Alamance a new
mill will begin operations during the
present month with 5,000 spindles, and
arrangements are being made to erect
another mill in the same county on Haw
River ; one hundred and twenty addi
tional looms have been placed in Swep
son's factory, and the Concord factorv
have discarded their old machinery, sub
stituting the largest and best, at the
same time increasing its capacity.. Iu
Bertie and several other counties the es
tablishment of cattoa mgls is looked fol
at an early day.
'' 1 “* ' fl
A Glycerine Barometer. . /y
A new ’ glycerine baromefiff hits been
invented by Mr. James B. Jordan, of the
London Mining Record office, and is
beihg tested at Kew. The cistern is a
cylindrical vessel of copper lined with
tin, five inches deep and ten inches in
diameter, fitted witn screwed cover, the
air having access through a small hole
in the cup attached to the coyer, Which
has a recess holding cotton' wool for
filtering out the dust. The niain tube,
twenty-seven feet long, fs Connected
with the cistern by attachment (with a
soldered joint) to a projecting piece of
tube which enters the cistern through
the bottom, aud is fitted at Its opening
with a screwed plug. The tube is an
ordinary piece of metal gas-pipe five
eighths of an inch in diameter, furnished
at the top with a gun-metal socket, intd
which is cemented a glass tube four feet
long, with an inside diameter of one
inch, ternijnaling in an open cup, apd
fitted witli an Inaia-rubber stopper.
'The fluctuations Os the level of the
columns of glycerine are observed and
read off on brass scales, placed on either
side of the tube and fitted with indices
aud verniers moved by mill,heads at
the bettom of the scales. One of these
■scales gives the length Os the Column of
glycerine, the other corresponding
length of a column of mercury. A
vaiiation of a tenth of an inch in a
mercurial column is shown by a change
of more than an inch in the glycerine
column, and the latter is therefore
expected to show minute variations
which are imperceptible in the former.
Glycerine absorbs moisture freely when
exposed to the air, but this is prevented
in the new barometer by covering the
exposed surface in the cistern with a
layer of heavy petroleum oil specially
prepared.
The Difference.
The steak was cold, the vegetables
partly burned, the dessert fla f t and in
sipid and Mrs. Hickenlooper was mad
all through, as the dinner hour passed
by and her husband came not. Pres
ently the door-knob turned, and Mr.
Hickenlooper stamped into the hall.
“ I should think you might be a little
more prompt to your meals,” snapped
his wife as she glowered on him from
the kitchen door. “ Here I’ve slaved
and slaved myself all the forenoon, and
now the dinner’s all spoiled, just by your
laziness. If I couldn’t ”
Mr. Hickenlooper held up his hand
warningly, and his wife stopped.
“ You put me in mind of something,”
he remarked.
“ That’s what I was trying to do,” she
retorted somewhat sarcastically. “ What
was it?”
“ You remind me of the recent escape
of the Czar of Russia,” he explained, as
he hung up his coat. “He was late to
dinner, too, you remember?”
“ More the shame to him,” said Mrs.
Hickenlooper, “ but what of it?”
“ Why you see,” continued Mr. Hick
enlooper, “ the Czar escaped getting
blown up, but I didn’t.”
Mrs Hickenlooper scratched her chin
softly with the handle of her knife, and
said nothing, while her busband pro
ceeded to gorge himself with burnt cab
bage.
A Florida Lady.
(Orlando (Fla.) Reporter.]
One morning a figure was seen dimly
amongst the flags and reeds of the dis
tant lake shore. Presently we made out
that it was a woman. Bhe hailed us,
and asked to come aboard to trade. Our
small boat, with a gallant gentleman as
escort, brought out this specimen of the
South Florida lady. She looked
abashed as her upturned face caught
the glance of a dozen men, who all
greeted her with pleasant raillery. They
politely lifted her on deck. Her short,
scant dress revealed cowhide shoes and
ankles innocent of stocking#, and appar
ently she wore nothing under her thin
calico sacque and skirt. But back in the
faded sun-bonnet I saw a cheerful, sun
browned face whose smile is, perchance,
the radiance of that which most blesses
man’s earthly home—woman’s love. She
traded her beef hide for coffee and to
bacco. About to leave us, she answered
to a challenge to be our cook: “I’d
like splendid to go ’long and cook tor you,
but 1 couldn’t leave the babies.”
Recently in advising a young pa
tient to take plenty of fresh air, she re
marked—“ I suppose it will do if I put
my head out of the window.” As this
young lady is intelligent on most sub
jects it is fair to presume that there are
a great many people who imagine that
they are as much benefited by sitting in
an an open window or by putting the
head out of an open window as by taking
a walk or a ride. All such thoughtless
people should be advised that opening a
window into a warm room creates at
once a strong draught, and that to sit in
a draught is almost sure to produce a
cold. As important as fresh air is, one
might better avoid it than to take it
under such circumstances.— Dr. Foote's
Health Monthly.
Qcttriiilin,
» ' V ■ j’ .1 ■ / .
Published Every Thursday at
TTEIjT.TO N' , (4EOHGIA
satrHAi* A Vtt&Y: ■
RATES OF 'SUBSCRIPTION.
. Oneycar (52 months
(26 numbers) 50 cants; mottha (23
numbers). 25 cents. <
Office in the Smith buildlrig. ea t of the
depot. '
PASSING SMILES.
:■ '
Under the gaslight—tlie htfrrer.
Bound East—the books published in
Des ton.
The schoolmaster who-sat «>n a bent
pin got off a bright thing.
If your lamp is heavy a bit of long,
narrow paper will made a lamp lighter.
The manufacturer "of artificial dia
lmond# has solved the gem puztle.
The World presents the epitaph for
the 'A No. 1 ”
Fashionable y >uug men aic like
theatre bills. They are posted on the
waltz. . - -
Pedigree H agreat thing in its way ,
but alone, it isn’t wortii a cent on the
back o| a niuety-day. jujtg.
A WAG got how of au editor’s whisk-V
pottle apd labeled it, “ To be continued
m our lieckfi.”
A LOQUACIOUS drunkard can at ale un-
IM.-Cil Cliy Derrtek.
The young man who get up
with thp Mg must up too late
with the daughter. *
“ Mother, your chi’d tnay have
Worms” says an ndvertfiernOnN in alarm
ing tone-. LtH filihgb-flriHwg.
The bee and’-B>tfte»sirc4 Wo tender
he#rte.4 to look ttrxin.-.eofferfEg. They
always turp juhen tney
A young Tady up town rci'els the do
mestic slander that sfiuHr‘*ffft:tiiating.”
iWT~ to l| y me
something.”
Mbs. jnover shall
give her twins pair o’ gortp She thinks
pne is'efinhgh fo?;t hem.
iThasbeeff asseVfet! thfiVNoah was
the original drunkard, fiaHif we are
not mistaken, Abel whs tiheffikst man to
get “slewed.’’4 , H ’/I ,4 .tM
The force of the adages ‘j Words are
cheap,” isesometimes lost when you go
to the telegraph office to scud a cable
gram, t ifiw
A good many of the promising young
men of the times are on y promising to
settle their bills, ahd yet “fnere’s noth
ing in it.”
A MAN will remember a' sore finger
much longer than a kind look, but that
doesn't prove a sore linger i#uny better
than a kind look.
Lots of young mon will pre-ent a girl
with a $5 bouquqt when her shoes are
all run over and she is in sail need of a
new pair. The young have no judg
ment.
The boy with his first watch mani
fests an uncontrollable dbsire to note the
exact second at which ho meets every
person Upon the street.
Omaha girls take saw-mills on a
breach of promise case.— Free Press.
When they loose their lovers, the saw
mills become their buzz-’em friends.
About two-thirds of a pint of air are
inhaled at each breath in ordinary res
piration. Then the man who shouts
“ Charcoal!” must gulp in about a hogs
head of air at each yell.
The expression “ Uneasy lies the head
that wears a crown” is absurd, because
no sensible king ever goes to bed with
his crown on. He always hangs it on
the back of a chair with his vest.— Addie
Boyd.
When Jones was upbraided by Mrs.
J., who said she was almost frightened
to death, in the house all night alcne,
Jones very placidly replied, “ Don’t see
as I’m to blame for your getting fright
ened. Didn’t come within a mile of the
house.”
“ Before 1 give you an answer,” said
Armantha to her lover, who had just
proposed for her hand, “ 1 have a secret
to impart.” “What is it dearest?” ho
asked, pressing his arm around her
yielding waist. She blushed and stam
mered, “My teeth are false.” “No
matter,” he cried heroically, “ I’ll
marry you in spite of your teeth 1”
Manville (to his widowed friend
Chasuble who has views on art): “ Ih
it true that you’ve broken off with Sir
Henry’s daughter?” Chasuble—“ Alas!
yes, 1 was forced to, although she is
a charming woman.” Manville—
“ Why?” Chasuble—“ Incompatibility
of complexion. She does not suit my
furniture.”
There was a young man ot Podnnk
Come home from a party Quite drunk;
He atonped in the street,
An«l kicked with hisicei
It wasn’t a cat, but a
(But a—a —what is that word—it
wasn’t a cat but a—but a-a-a—an, ha I
we have it—)
It wasn’t a cat, but a hen.
There was a man whose name was Burt,
Lived in this vale of ti’iirs,
And drove a mule aud ne’er got hurt
For more than twenty years.
But nature will Itself assert,
Os tliat behold the proof,
The other day that mule kicked Burt
Clear through the stable roof.
—Bcnttn Post.
Five hundred dollars reward is
offered for the return of a dog to Miss
Irene Lynch, of New York. The dog
had on a collar set with diamonds, and
she—meaning the deg was considerd
of great account. Our dog is not worth
five hundred dollars, but we will bet
Mies Lynch the beer that our dog is the
longest. The idea of putting diamonds
on a dog collar, when people are suffer
ing for bread.— Peck's Sun.
Two gushing Boston girls werer walk
ing one day in the suburbs of the Hub,
when they stumbled on a little old
fashioned mile-stone, forgotten in the
march of improvement. One of them
stooped, and parting the grass, dis
covered the half-effaced insc iption, “ I.
m. from Boston,” upon which she ex
claimed ecstatically, “ Here is a grave,
perhaps of some young girl, who wished
it written on her tomb-tone,‘l’m from
Boston.’ How touching! so simple, and
no sufficient!"