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jjjj ^pXV - [|V- fc > ff ^!£ “OMWABD AMP UPWARD’
**W)l?fAl 10*jf,* :<1 ALL AS, PAULDING COUNTY, GA., THPRSI)AY, NOVEMBER^
18S3.
! M'lWK’RiniOXi ft.lM) Per Annum.
i , NUMBEK.48.
By the Mississippi overflow of last
jew, Louisiana claims to have been
iamlgcd jo the %xl&ut of 800,000,000.
An impocunious old lady of Augusta,
Ga., has subscribed |8. to mijoion -rtrhg
and expects,to earn tile money by mash*
ing clothes.
New Orleans is preparing onergeti
cally fupthn wood’s fair, to be held in
that city from December, 1884, to the
end of May, 1885.
The last census of Alabama, shows
an aggregate gain of 0,021 white, 5,391
colared voters in the last dcoado that
cannot read or write.
W. J. Barlow, of Live Oak, Fla., is
102 years old. Ilis father lived to the
ago of 100, and his grandfather, it is
said, was 120 years old when ho died.
The whole number of postofflees in
the United States, at the end of June
last, was 47,803; increase during the
year, 1,032.
It is said that a thousand Mormon con-
verts will leave Chattanooga next month,
for Utah. They are from different points
of the south’
The total cost of transporting the
mails, by all methods, for the past year,
was *19,234,899, an increase over the
preceding year of 8253,847.
The Chinese are swarming into San
Francisco and other points along the Pa-
const, upon “traders’ certificates” issued
to them by the Chineso government.
Cuambups county, A'a., has a brag
club of cotton pickers, which in one day
lately had a tcavy game, scoring an
average of 300 pounds to each picker.
‘ Agreeable to an ortJicanco passed in
Montgomery, Aia., the chief of police
has notified newsdealers that no litera
ture of an obscene character can be sold
in that o.ty.
Three years ago, a dozen houses and
a small frame depot building constituted
Big Lick station, fifty miles southwest of
Lynchburg, Va. To-day the same place
bas 5,000 inhabitants.
Five hundred CnthoKc children at
Lerodo, Texas, are about to be deprived
of educational advantages because the
Catholic clergy will not allow them to
attend the public schools.
The fossil tooth found in Alabama
receatfois declared by Judge Lawrence
dohnisou, of the United States Geologi
cal Survey, to be the molar of theprima-
tive elephant of America.
The schooner Alfred Wilson gathered
wo hundred and eighty bundles of
ponges, at the mouth of the Osella
ive$, 'Florida, _l«st week. Her cargo
j rollghb$700 Off. -
Henpy Freicks, of Pennsylvania, is
looking for a tea farm in the South. Le-
Duc has said that tea will flourish in Al
bania and Georgia, and the experiment
s to be made at an early day.
The ship Silvertown, from London, a
gross, whose length U 898 feet; bean 58
feet, and depth of hold 34} feet, hsa
aafely passed the jetties and landed at
the docks at New Orleans.
The manufacture of sjaroh is about
to bee: me a considerable industry in ths
vicitity of Seneca Lake, Fla. A starch
factory is to by started there, and sever
al parties are prepaping for an extensive
cultivation of cassava.
Next month the people of New York
vote for or against the proposition to
abolish oonvict labor in the State pri
sons. Last year the entire cost of main
taining the Stato prisons was paid by the
work of the convicts, 'the amount was
$415,660.
The New Orleans Picayune saya that
Bilk culture lias rapidly developed in
Louisiana, along tho Gulf cooat, within
the past eighteen months, and that the
product of tho region around Thibo-
dcauxvillo commands the highest price
in the market
p
In Now Orleans, thorn Is now on exhi-
bitiuiTa bUe of raw a,.k .vom ooe Y.ns
grown in Louisiana, and reeled at the
Louisiana silk spinning mill, which is
worth $7 per pound. J he halo weighs
ten pounds eight ounces, and comprises
633 skeins, making 1,200,000 yards,
The growth ol Texas is marvelous,
Tho increase in her taxublo property last
year was 8130,000,000. Now counties to
the numbor of sixty-eight were organ
ized, giving two hundred in all. Bo-ides
this, there is a territory twice as large as
Goorgia not yet divided into counties.
A Woolen-mill to cost $100,000 is in
course of erection in Habersham county,
Ga. Tho water comes tumbling down
in a eutaract and furnishes the power
Without a dollar's artificial aid. It is
GENERAL NEWS.
Fora colored men in Rome, Ga., are
studying for the priesthood.
Nashville, Tcnn., forbids fortune
telling within its limits.
Many Mississippi planters produced
their own molasses this year.
TH«y are making wrapping papar ont
of straw and palm leaves in Georgia.
Eighteen counties in Georgia, have
abolished fences.
About three thousand tone of borax
are annually produced in Cafcforna.
Jacksonville, Fla., is to bo lighted
by electricity by a Pittsburgh company.
Over 5,000.000,000 feet -f long-leaf
oines are now standing iu North Coro
na,
Apalatchicola, Florida, is soon to
have an oyster canning house in opera
tion.
In Selma, Alabama, forty-six leading
business houses, during the- past year,
did a business of 811.014.850.
’ A single pumpkin vine on the farm
of Dr. W. M. Clark, six miles south ot
Nashville, bore sixty-nine pumpkins.
TnErice crop just harvested is report
ed to be the larges ever made in ths
parish of Jefferson, Louisiana.
The crap of honey for the present
season atNewSmyrs, Fla,, amounted to
130 barrels.
Eighteen thousand and eighty-six
homesteads have been entered in Florida
during the year.
Ex-Gov. Brown, of Georgia is to get
$06,000 *pef year ns President of the
Florida ship canal.
A Franklin couujy (Teun.j farmer re-
acres of strawberries. aid, will turn $100,000,000 worth of ma
chinery,.
Tius Louisville and NaBhville railroad
company offered to present their Alabama
exhibit, now at tho exposition in Louis-
» to Bpe city of Birmingham, pro
file board of trade will erect a suit
able bui ding and make a permanent
display of the exhibit, and tho propoai
lion has been accepted.
It is unusual for a routhem planter to
mnko a half million by farming. Mr. L.
M. Hill, of Wilkes county Georgia, has
just died. Ho made seven hundred
thousand dollars by farming. In the
same county, General /Toombs and his
brother Gabriel are each "wort}* a half
million, nearly all of whioh has been
mado by farming.
TIie first arrival of new gmbWlated
sugar at Now Orleans from the parish of
A scension, is pronounced by competent
judges to bo tho finest and hannsomest
over brought to that market, and tho
equal, in every respect, to tho best pro
duct of tho largest Eastern refinery. It
was in two lots, and one lost sold at nine
cents and tho other at eight and seven-
eighths.
The funds collected for tho erection of
a monument to General Lee, in Rich
mond, new amounts to about $35,000.
It is suggested that tho corner-stone
should be laid next October, and that
the ceremonial shouid be rendered mem
orable by a reunion of the Army of
Northern Virginia and by a ball at which
the men should wear the Confederate
uniform and the women dresses appro
priate to the sentiment of the ocoasion.
The stock for the first ostrich farm in
the United States has been shipped to
Florida. It consists qf three pairs three-
years-old ostriges. The destination of
thebirds was Sylvan Lake, Orange coun
ty, Fla ; the mode of conveyance, tho
Mallory lino steamer Western Texas.—
The birds shipped weighed from 150 to
200 pounds, and stood about seven feet
high without any stockings. They are
natives of Nubia, in Upper A frica. and
they were captured while very yenngby
the agents of Messrs Charles Beiche &
Brother, of New York and Hoboken,
who aro proprietors of tho projected os-
strich farm.
Clay spring, twelve miles from Or
lando and three miles from Apopka, Fla,
is one of the largest mineral springs in
the United States. The spring is situ
ated at the foot of a high bluff or hill.
The pool where the water comes up is
seventy-five to one Hundred feet across,
in the center of which the water con
stantly boils and bubbles. Enough water
comes ont of the ground to form a river,
and steamboats have run up from St.
John and tied up directly over the open
ing, where tge water comes from the bow
els of the earth. The water is strong y
impregnated witli sulphur, and probably
with other minerals. The spot is a fa-
tressel of 3,724 tqns_net, agd. 4,913 tons 1 vorite tesorMto camping parties, who go
turn i to bathe hi ami drink the waters.
The report of tho naval advisory
board as te the number and class of ves
sels which should bo commenced at once,
in order to carry forward the work of re
constructing the nunrmorod fleet, recom
mends one vessel similnr to the Chicago,
oauthrized last wintor nnd now uudor
construction, to cost 81,295,000; ono sim
ilar; to tho Boston ami the Atlanta, au
thorized last winter, to cost $936,000; one
to coet $482,000; two costing $516,000
each; two light draught gunboats to cos*
8269,000 each. Tho total cstimato far
the seven vcssols, 84 283,000. The board
also recommends tho completion of the
monitors Puritan, Amphitriie, Terror,
and Mauadnock, at a cost, respectively,
of $785,000, $797,000, $874,000, and $1,-'
141.000,
Sanford (Fla.) Journal : The contract
for the rale of the crop on the old Speer
grove, a mile and a quarter from San
ford, has thus week boon signoil up and
the forfeit deposited. Tho grovo embra
ces 650 trees, covering six acres, mid the
estimated crop js 600,000 oranges, TwO
dollars and a quart r per 'box, on tltt
trees,is the price paid At 1 50 per box,
600,000 oranges will aggregate 4,000
boxes, which, at $2 25 pcrlsjx, will
yield $9,000 Woloninthnt the expense
of the grovo this yonr will not cxuoed
$500. Gen Joseph Finnegan, who has a
grove near hero and one down tho vivor,
has sold the crop on both groves at $8
per box, delivered at tho railroad statioa'
near liis home place, and at the warf at
his river place. Tho estimated yield, of
both groves is 1,4000 boxes, widely at
|3 per box, would amount to $4,200. • (
w
{The F^stiRaK
Death of Harwood. ’
Marwood, tha executioner, died’ at
Horncastlo, England, from congestion
of the lungs and jaundioo. He Was
sixty-three years of age and had held
his poet for twelve years. Ho leaves a
widow, but no son, as has been stated.
Some incidents of his life aro narrated
by a local correspondent who was per
sonally acquainted with Marwood, sad
who had a long conversation with hint
shortly before his death. He says:
“There were many attempts to get a
portrait of Marwood, but he always re
fused. An enterprising photographei
offered him flfty pounds ono day for a
sitting, bnt he declined, hia explanation
being that one of the things he enjoyed
more than anything else was to go to s
town by an earlier train than he was ex
pected, and mix in the crowd that was
wafting his arrival. If his correspond
ence has been preserved it will be very
curious. Quite recently he showed mo n
sword of a Japanese executioner which
had been sent to him by a gentleman
from Brighton, and it was certainly of
intrinsic value. He had contemplated,
he said, putting another story on to his
shop and making a kind of museum,
where ho could show his friends ami
neighbors the pconliar things ho had
collected during his experiences as an
executioner. Once only find he an inter
view with Cnlcraft, and that was when
a party of Americans hail asked to be
allowed to visit Cnlcraft. Marwood
went with some official to ask Cnlcraft
if he would receive the visitors, no
tised to declare that previous to the
execution in Ireland, when a prisoner's
arm caught in the rope, he hod never
had a single slip in liis work. Witli
regard to the Durham execution, con
cerning which he was summoned to tho
Home Office, immediately niter tho
question had been put in Parliament,
he stated that tho prisoner fainted at
the last moment, and that that was tho
cause of the rope catching in his arm,
and he was particularly cnrofiil to men
tion that at the inquestand satisfactorily
cleared himself.- His opinion wus that
in all future exeentious a warder should
stand on each side of tho prisoners on a
f ilnnk extending over the drop, and tho
ooso portion of the rope be tied up to
the beam by a slight cord, which should
give way by the weight of tho body,
and he declared that he shouid never
undertake an execution again without
these precautions being adopted. Many
of his Irish experiences wore a source of
great amusement to him. An escort
used to meet him at Chester and accom
pany him across the Channel. After
some of the early executions connected
with the Phrenix Park assassinations,
Marwood had to proceed to Glasgow,
and he related how an escort which
was to accompany him were disappointed
when they found that lip declined their
company and intended to move about
England without any protection what
ever. It was at Glasgow, while ho was
preparing tho prisoners on tho scaffold,
that a letter was received by the Gov
ernor of the jail which might have been
a respite. The Governor signaled to
Marwood while he read the letter, which
proved to be on other business. Mar
wood received very few threatening let
ters."— London Standard.
A FRiENDof mine who dabbles m stock-i
walked into a well-known banking house
the other day, and created considerable
excitement by remarking: “I got a pret
ty good thing last winter. It was 34
then, and to-day it stands at 95.”
“Well, I shonld say so I” exclaimed tho
junior partner. “But vflint was it?"
“It was a thermometer," plied my
friend,
In an Arkansaw town tho season’s first
balo of cotton is an object of groat inter
est. Tho bnlo is drawn into town as
though nlost treasure lmd suddenly been
reclnunod. Every ono knows that tho
first bale will come, yot, somewhow no
ono is quite prepared to receive it. If
great surprise attends tho first bale’s
transportation to a town, thou has tho
fond hope of tho producer been realized ?
If ho fail to create surprise, the first balo
lias Ik'ou a failure. When the wagon
has arrivud at a point near tJio centre of
tho town, or sny at tho publio well, a no-
gro hops on to tho first balo and rings a
bell as the wagon moves along the street.
Steam mills whistlo, and the peoplo gen
erally neglect their own busmens to pay
rospcotfiu tribute to the Henson's first
collection of the royal staple. After tha
principal streets of tho town linvo been
traversed, the first bale is “auotlonod
off” to tho highest bidder. It generally
brings about twice ns much as it is
worth, and the producer goes homo hap
py not to aay halt drunk. About a week
later ho cornua to town with another bale.
There is no exaitomont, for the first lmlo
tins already lieeu received. He cannot
get anyone to mount tho bnlo nnd ring a
boll, for every ono knows that such a
Jrmrfoj'-nnnco '\unld bo useless. The
producer drives to tho publio plnoo and
attempts to “auction off” the bale, but
Ids efforts aro not ruwardad with success.
Two or tlirco hundred cotton buyers
romo out, pluck the staple from tho bale,
tear it to pieces and mnko the producer
' a diseonrogiugly Jow offer, no refuses
nnd drivoanromid town a while. “ ’Long
toward the shank of tiio evenin’ ” lm
comes back to tho hardened buyers. They
inform him that tho market luis declined
since they last consulted with him, nnd
offer him n few cents less per pound in
consequence. They “hagglo” a wliilo,
and in tho meantime they receive a tel
egram announcing tlmt tho market had
gone down a few points. Then they
nfler him a figure so low tlmt tired anil
disgusted lie accepts it, gets two pairs of
lirogan shoos, a pair of yellow jean
“britches,” a handkerchief, a tin pan, a
quart of whisky and goes home drunk,—
A r/cantata 'JYavcter,
Making llad Beer.
Tho Ohiongo Times 1ms tho follow
ing:—
“Do you see that vessel just turning
tim curve in the river ?” asked an officer
nf the barge office as be button-holed a
reporter.
“I do.”
“And tho dook-lond ?”
“Bark, is it not ? What of it?”
“Do you soo tho schooner in the draw
of tho bridge, and tho otlior approach
ing it?”
“I do; both have bark also.”
“Woll, that’s tho way you soo it here
dny nftor (lay. ”
"What do they want with so much of
it ? Do thoy burn it or uso it in tho
tanneries ?”
"Tlioro is tho interesting point. Tho
stuff won’t burn worth a oent. It is
hemlock bark. It is sometimes used in
tanneries, but you oan’t imagine that
all that comes up tho river is used in
making leather. Tho tanyards would
hardly hold it in stacks.”
“Then what hccomos of it?”
“It is used as an adulteration forboer.
Largo quantities of it are ground up and
shipped to other points. Chicago brew
ers can afford to make pure beor, and I
guess they do it, but this Imrk is fixed
up hero and sent to other places. I
suppose you know that brewers do not
now report tho ingredients of which tiieir
boor is mado, as they once did. The
courts linvo decided that they aro not
compelled to do so. I have made somo
casual inquiries nnd I learn that tan-
bnrk and soda are tho principal sub
stances used. A little riou malt gives it
body nnd makes it hold the foam. Hem
lock bark is a now discovery in tiiis rc-
Hpcct and is useful beenuso it takes the
place, to n certain extent, of both malt
nnd hops. It is not poisonous, but it
certainly oannot be said to contain any
nutriment. It adds tho pungent, bitter
taste, nnd gives tho dark, reddish color
to tho liquid. It is very cheap, ami
the brewers who use it must grow rich
very fast.
Fought for Ills Freedom.
*i 1 fought for your freedom,” said a
gentleman whom a negro policeman was
conducting to tho lock up.
“ You needn’t try ter fight fur yonrn,
cap’n, fur if yer does I’ll Lit yer.
“Ain’t yon got no respect for a man
who helped to freo you ?”
"I ain’t sleadyur ’bout dnt, cap’n. E
yer had enuff sense ter fight fur my
freedom yer augliter lind enuff ter ’lialio
yerse’f nirter I’se freed. Doan puli back
dat way. I’ll gin yer a lick fust tiling
yer know dat ’ll ring so loud dat do fire
engines will como out. Yer -own free
dom seems ter bodder yer much more
den mine.”—Arkansaw Traveler,
Nice Distinctions,
Some of tho Western judges draw
rather nice distinctions. An Arkansas
court has decided that it is not arson for
a man to set fire to his own house, while
by an Indiana tribunal it is held that to
constitute tho crime of arson tho house
itself, and not merely its contents, must
be set on fire. But a late California de
cision is more unique than cither. Tho
Supreme Court reversed a conviction
for perjury on tho ground that the falso
testimony given by the offender was not
material to the case, nnd therefore could
not be perjury. Truly this is drawing
jt fine,— New Yor/f Hour,
rari jokto Duix^r.
WHAT HI HIND IN THH HUMOROUS
FArtitn.
DIDN’T WANT a T1TI.S.
"Cap’ll, don't put my name la tho paper,
If you pleats-. To me it la a fmillali caper
For a man to com# and drop > hint
Merely to got Ilia ltamn hi print.
1 live nut hero on tho old Oiloa piano—"
And he mopped ths a wont from till ruddy
faro
On An exchange, “An’ thought I'd call
To give you the oonilttiuti of eropa tills fall.
The drouth hsa greatly injured ihn cotton,
Corn la fair hut pntatoea are rotten
Or watery—not more than halt a crop.
I'm fattenin’ my liogaon com an'alnp
That I g.. from Mugglra who ritna tho still—
Not liiir* lirlnga 'em out like awtll.
“Call’ll, Joa' make a noto In your sheet
Thai Jonathan Mneka, that yun met on the
atrect,
Waa kind rnnughtn fnrnlah the points,"
Am! he lazily aroac and stretched Ida Jolnta.
"I’m him wed out there, you know, aa colonel,
In Ailoinaaw this way infernal
Ot titlin' every common man
Make- a aeuailile fellow aick,
An', Matnc 11, the title to him will atlok
I.ike the name lie inherha at Iris birth—
Alas, for vanity on thla earth.
Now, cap’n, when you apeak of mo,
Call me niirtor, for, don’t you see,
1 very much object, to naiider
k’l’i sill’ll a t’lAto, liiik-tilane , >, ’’«adivll
Where I live—“ nnd ho feigned In sneeze—
“They enll me colonel, so if yon plenao
Ray that all o’ theao hero vahiahle fnolia,
Wore told by the gentlemanly do]. Macks,”
—Arkansas) Traveler.
Tlllt SCHOOL TEACllKtl IN UIH ELEMENT.
They mot on tho orowdod avenuo
yesterday in front of the City Hall. Ouo
ivas a young man of nbont twenty-two,
tho otlior, a man about sixty yunra old.
Ouo lives iu tho northern part of tho
HI ate, and the other in tho southern.
Fate hud brought them together. There
was nothing oordinl in thoir mooting.
Thoy didn’t flry ont “Put it tlmr I”
niul pump-handle ouch other like a couple
of old friouds. On tho contrary, tho
young man grow red in tlio faoo and
i neat hod hard and stain mured out:
"Ton years ago I wont to school to
yon I"
“Yes, you did," was the calm reply.
“And ono day you licked mo almost to
death for an offuuco committed by an
other boy I”
“Well, yon wore always in need of a
licking.”
"And I swore,” contimiod tho vonng
Ilian, “aye I registered a vow, tllut if
I mot yon after I had grown up I wonlil
have my revbnge I Prepare to be pounded
to a lifeless mass 1* ’
“I’m prepared,” ro|>licdtbo old school
master, as ho spat on Ids hands, and in a
minute the' fun was raging. The young
man rushud upon him with a war-whoop,
but liis nose struck something and ho
foil down. He got tip and rushad again,
and this time lie was flung down,
rolled over, stepped on ami loft with a
number of loose teeth and a splitting
hoadneho. Tho polioo took him in, bnt
when I hoy cumo to hunt for tho old man
ho was ttoross the street trying to pin up
a rent in liis cent and saying to somo of
liis friends:
“Ah I it brings lmok all tho memories
of tho old red school-house to got my
linnds on an unruly piqiil in iiio first
reader class again,"—Detroit I'rce
Press,
THE MODERN BOY’S SEVEN AGES,
Mr. Bhnkcspenre says that a mail lias
seven ages, but to my opinion a boy has
about ton of liis own. Ho begins with
liis first pnir of breeches nml a stick
horse, nml climbs up by degrees to toy
guns and firecrackers, and slingshot and
breaking calves and billy goats, and, sure
enough, guns nml pointer dog, nml look
ing-glass age when ho ndmires himself
nnd greases hiH hair, and feels of liis
down beard, and then ho joins a brass
band aud toots n horn, and then ho
rends novels and falls in love and rides a
prancing iiorso ami writes perfumed
notes to liis girl. When ids first love
kicks liirn and begins to run with an
other fellow ho drops into tho ago of
despair, and wants to go to Texas, or
Homo oilier remoto region, and sudly
sighs:
‘‘Tills world Is all a fleeting show.”
Boys are mighty Bmart now-a-dnys. .
They know as much at ton os wo used •
to at twenty, nml it is right hard for
us to keep ahead of ’em. One of these
modern philanthropists was telling my
kinsman the otiier dny how to ruiso his
boy. “Never whip" him,” said ho.
“liniso him on lovo nnd kindness and
reason,” and thou ho appealed to mo for
indorsement. “And when that hoy is
about twelve years old,” said I, "do you
go to him ami if possible persuade him
not to whip liis daddy. Tell him it is
wrong and unfliial and will injure his
reputation in tho community."
The modern boy is entirely too bigily,
—BUI Arp in Atlanta Constitution.
A CRUSHED PORTER.
Wo aro happy. Tho porter of the
parlor car has been crushed.
“Beg yo’ pawdon, sail," ho remarked
with impressivo graudour to ono of tho
occupants of his car. “Dat was a trad
dollah yo' handed me a minute ago.”
“All, was it ?" replied tho plebo, as
he took it from the outstretched hand
and examined it. "Take this for your
honesty, my friend,” and. pocketing the
dollar tho traveler handed the astounded
potentate of tho road a lead nickel.
Tho insensible body of the porter was
left at the next station, and after physi
cians hod worked at him for two hours,
he recovered sufficiently to murmur in
coherently.
"Itwa’ntdc money'what pnh’lyzed
me, boss; but ho called mo ‘my fron’ I’
Boss, dal -lono tnk me down efful I”—
(Jit Vita Blizzard,,
HE HUMORED HIM.
A Now York stockbroker, who was on
his way to Buffalo last week, observed
that ono of his fellow-passengers waa
closely regarding him, nnd nftor a timo
tho nmn enmo over ami asked:
"Didn't I aeo yon in Chicago in 1879?”
Tho broker wasn't in Ghioago that
year, but thinking to humor the stranger,
lie replied in the affirmative.
“Don’t yon remember hnmling a poor
devil a half dollar one night iu front of
tho Tremont ?”
"1 do.”
“Well, I’m tho ohnp. I wus hard n|>,
out of work, and about ready to oommit
suicide. Tlmt money made n now man
of mo. By ono lucky shift and another
I am now worth 825,(H)l).”
“All 1 glad to benr it.”
"And now I wnnt you to take five,dol
lars in plnoo of that fifty cents. I can’t
fool easy until tho debt is paid."
Tho broker protested nml objeotod,
hut finally, just to humor tho man, hu
look his $20 bill aud gave him back 816.
Tho stranger soon withdrew, and every
thing might have ended thou aud there
if the broker, on reaching Buffalo,
hadn't ascertained tlmt tho “twonty”
was a counterfeit ami that ho was $15
out of pocket.— Wall Street Newt.
IIB SUCCEEDED.
“This drawer novor comes nut right,”
said ohl Mr. Brown to Ida wife tho otlior
morning, ns ho took hold of tho knobs
of tho lower drawer of tho huroiin.
“You don’t pull hard enough," re
plied Mrs. Brown.
“Don’t, eh ?”
“No, yon don't.”
Then Mr. llrown said ho wonld pull
harder than he ever did before. Bo iio
braced himaolf, nml yanked upon both
knobs with might nml main, and tho
drawer flow out, nml down went Brown
on liis lmok, nml tho next instuut Its was
busily engaged in prying various arti
cles out of liis eyes, ours, mouth Tuul
nose. i -i.«
“That's right," said Mrs. Brown,
smilingly, “I know yon wmild got it
upon, if yon only pullod hard enough.
Whenever you wnut to open that drawer,
only pull on it half ns hard ns yon pull
on the bottle, and you will get it open.”
Ami Brown kicked tbo drawer over
on tho sofa, nml jumping suddenly up,
flow down town without waiting, to put
liis collar on.—Puck.
QUICK CONSUMPTION.
Littlo Mary, who is very much inter
ested in studying tho “laws of healtli,’'
since school began, had beeuoskiug Mr.
Battler all Herts of questions ubuul dis
eases nml their remudius,
“Now, papa,” slio ci in turned, “if you
neglect a laid cold you lay a foundation
for tho consumption, don't you?”
“Yoh,” answered her father.
“And oonsumptivus lire thin and pale,
aren't they?"
“yes,”
“What other signs are tlioro in—well,
in^quiek consumption, papa?” queried
the eliild.
“Flvo mimitoH for refreshments,
f iosted iu railroad stations,” responded
t. The examination closed.—Button
Courier.
ONCE IN A WHILE,
There was a timo when yon could
linrdly go amiss of it, but now it is only
once III a while that you ealeli tho wruu-
gle of voices from somo back yard:
“It’s my knock I”
“It isn’t.”
“You missed tho arch I”
“I hope to dio.”
“You moved your ball! ’
“I never did.”
“ I don’t oaro I You aro a groat
client I”
“Aud so are yon I”
“I won’t play 1”
“Don’t, then.”
“And don’t you over spenk to mo
again as long as you live I”
“Pooh I Who wants to?”—Detroit
Free Press.
too man priced.
Fessenden was terribio angry. Ha
rushed up to Fogg and witii clenched
fists exclaimed, “What do you mean,
Kir, by insulting mo ns you have?”
“What do I mean, Fessv?” replied
Fogg, quite coolly. “What do you
menu, rather? You snid I’d sell my
soul for a shilling. That's what I
menu." “Did I? Well, I II tako ,it
back. I don't think you would, Fcssy.
You might offer it at that price, but
them wouldn’t bo any Inkers.” Fessen
den turned on liis heel, aiijl Fogg took
three or four pullr. at his cigar before
remarking that it did make n fellow feel
contented with himself to apologize for
uttering a lmsty word against an old
friend.—Boston 'J'ranscript.
PRACTICAL ECONOMY.
“Give us a dime I” begged a tramp of
a philanthropist, whom he met on
Broadway.
“No, sir,” replied the philanthropist,
“I’ll give yon a cent if you'll tell me
what you’d do with it.”
“Do with it I” muttered the disgusted
tramp, ns lie gobbled the coin. “Do
witli it! I’ll take a walk over tho bridgo
with it. AVlmt do you s’poso I’d do
witli it; buy a railroad ?’’
They Two. —The story has been re
lated of the Hon. Hannibal Hamlin that
-nee, In his active political days, he at
tended a party caucus at which there
was only one man present beside him
self. He promptly elected the other
man chairmnn, had himself appointed
secretary, and then transacted all tho
business in lined; and when he made ont
the credentials of the delegates chosen,
ho wrote in them that the delegates
were elected at a “large and respectable
caucus”—“liecause,” he explained to
the chairman, “you are large and I am
respectable,”