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VOLUME" I. DALLAS, PAULDING COUNTY, GA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1883.
SCBSCRIPIIOHi $1.50 Per Anna
* NUMBER 40.
GENERAL NEWS.
Savannah is about to bulbil * 9200,00C
hotel by subscription.
Mia* ssippi has only twenty-throe pres
idential postofflces. * *' 1
There nre 1,808 more women than
men in Adame oonnty, Mieeieeippi.
A depoeit of rieh phoaphatea haa been
discovered near Selma, Alabama. ■
A Chattanooga Arm haa sold 8,000,000
feet of lumber to one Arm in Boeton.
The stock shipments from East Ten
nessee are increasing.
The largest crop of wheat ever sewn
in East Tennessee has been seeded this
fall
Tho Annnciiil condition of New Or
leans is said to be better than ever lie-
foro.
The number of Indiana in the Ever
glades of Florida is estimated at eight
hundred.
The Georgia owners of tho Refugio sil
ver mine, in Mexico, refuse to sell-itlaaj fW
*500,000.
A farmer of Snwanuee county, Flor
ida, has gathered two crops of peaches
from his trees this year. . fun reduction ^ tho public dobtrtlm-.
Calhoun county, Alabama, is ightofi *lng October w is 110,304,789; decrease of
and boxing. It is Is eaUmated that tally
anohglf of tho crop will g» to the Weak
from a quarter to a third of the crop
went weat laat year, bat this year the fa
cilities are better and shippers era better
acquainted with the tnatket
Tho Washington monument has re rob
ed a height of three hundred and eighty-
four foot, and coat, tliua far, aa follows:
Expended by the monument association
upon the old abaft, 9230,000; expended
by Colonel Caaey, 9710,000; leaving a
balance on band of 9100,000 from the ap
propriation by Congnaa of 9000,000. A
reporter who aacended to the top laat
week found men chiftiug tho maaaivo
ma -hinery and preparing to lay the 888th
eourae. The workraon, he .ays, ran
aronn-l the edges with the agility of
Aiea, and trusted their live* to tho safety
netting that surrounds tho top.
EltlTORUI. NOTES.
Tub total revenue derived from dram
shops and wino ami boor licenaos front,
flputnm 1 A *w«rnim«frl7^® r (nfl
new- high license law at St. Louis,
amounts to 9255,128, an increase of
9138,607.
no |k |IU|IU1HIIUU UI
manshift
over tho proposition to move the oourt-
house from Jacksonville to Anniston.
The grand jury of Craighead county,
Arkansas, doclarad their jail a nuisance,
and recommended that it be torn down
The sum of 95,116 hss been doneted
by the trustees of the Peabody school
fund to the FI nyp
Tennessee has a population of 1,541,-
000, and pays about
revenuo to the sT
ment.
Thirty thousand dollars have htc*
subscribed for the Ne(*maa, Op, aottoM
factory, and ift. A. IS. Calhoun hns do
nated the ground.
The South Florida
up the timl
there will not be enough to furnish boxes
for tho shipping of the orange crop. '
Northern capitalists frill lenstW twrf ice
factories, each witli a capacity of ten
tons dniiy, in Florida. Thore will be
one at Tnllahass°e and one at Gaines
ville.
The Southern Telegraph company will
reach Augusta with thoir wires by the
middle of next month, and from that
point will operate in ovory city of impor
tance in tho South.
Spanish mackerel and some other Ash
only to be found in tbo spring have re
cently been abundant in tbo waters about
Savannah. Tho Ash dealers say tho
causo of their appearance at this time is
the late long drouth.
The contract to build a pedestal for
the Jackson statue, on Capitol Hill,
S*?Wtova'Efl?%i Aflft Tfis’foljo
of East Tennesseo marble, of a beauti
ful piuk color, and fourteen feet in
height.
The work now going forward on the
Panama canal has built up an entire
town there, with a collection of work-
shopa, warehouses and connecting rail
ways for tho reception and distribution
of material The working force will be
augmented in Deoember to a total of
15,000 men.
The lumber business in the swamps of
the Yazoo and Tallahatchie rivi
is assuming immense iMDjxlrtii
sides tho great amount of cypres# lum
ber that is being gotten out, thoiuauds
of walnut logs are being-cut for northern
manufacturer* of furniture and other
articles in which walnut ia used. One
Boston firm alone has a raft of 8,000
logs, ready for shipment, at the mouth
of the Tallahatchie river.
The worth of the early vegetables sent
north from Mobile county, Alabama, last
year, amounted to 9261,000. About the
same amount will be realized this season.
The principal vegetables used are cab
bages, tomatoes, potatoes, beans and
peas. Less attention is now given to
cauliflower, lettuce, radishes, and cn
cumbers, as all except the first are raised
in the North, under gloss. Several capi
talists have recently pot considerable
money in the business of market garden-
ing'at Mobile.
Florida oranges are Moving slowly on
account of their maturing slowly. Job
bers are making their contracts for the
fruit by the box instead of by the thous
and. The crop of one grove near San
ford, estimated at four thousand boxen,
has been sold at 42 lb per box, the pur
chaser bearing the expense of picking
the debt, since Juno 30,1883,939,581,470.
Cash in the treasury, 9374,347,501; gold
certificates, 182,223,940; silver certifi
cates, 199,579,141; certificates of deprsit,
912,620,000; refunding certificates, 9325,-
850; legal tenders, 9246,681,016; froc-
tioul currency, 96,8pOA03.
a country of marvelous ex
tent. We consider the United Statee,
withTUMW5>0-aaaoi4 nEs of territory,
aiv*^ la^in Imiililry * Ahd so it is. But
China covers abont 5,800,000 aquare
milok in its tbxee parts—the Eighteen
ProrMta, the Colonial
PSAeaAHla, inolnding Ili, Koko-nor and
Thibet.
aloirni*
givtop Aq name*of “China," and is the
only part entire! ysottled by the Chinese.
The Cubans, it is .said, nre abont to
make a supremo effort to out looee from
the dominion of Spain. General Bona-
chea has sailed from Now York witli an
expedition, and others are to follow.
The friends of Cuba in tho United
■States are very active, and the revolu
tionists havo groat hopes of success.
1 he negro slaves tin. the sugar planta
tions are said to bo ready to join in a
revolution. Meanwhile, the Spanish
government is in a state of alarm, aid
extreme measures are to bo taken to nip
the new movement in the bud.
Tbo flat of these divisions
iat^ ahitto 14 li tom atoms have
A New York man has imported a pair
of Iudian mangooses, the first that ever
came to America. They are a little
larger than a'good sized rat; their bodies
are covered with brown hair, variegated
Ilia sspEMa
vermin exterminators. It is claimed
that they have no equal in that business.
One mangoose will rid the largest honso
of rats, and they destroy snakes with
wonderful avidity and are the inveterate
enemy of every species of vermin. But
they are gentle and harmless to human
beings.
The grape crop of Ohio, representing
s great industry, is a dead failure, aud
California will have to' be dopeaded on
for the main supply of domestic wine.
Besides furnishing an immense American
• trade, California sends great quantities
of wino abroad every year. It is there
manipulated, labelled and sent back to
the United States, to 1)0 bought at fancy
prices and sipped with tho knowing
smile of the pretentious American epi
cure. It is certain that ocntral Califor
nia is now producing the richest quality
to be found anywhere. 1 he art of wine
making is ■ not properly cnltivated, and
the state thus loses much of the possible
value of ita fruitful vines.
A quabter of a million cases aro now
brought each year before the .consular
and commercial courth of France, and
the number isateadily increasing. Mnch
the larger share of this great crop of liti
gation arises in ihe commercial centers,
Paris, Lyons and Marseilles furnishing
forty per cent, of tho whole number.
The cases are rapidly disposed of, not
over ten per cent being carried beyond
a year. Abont twenty-eight per cent, of
the cases are settled by actual trials,
forty-two per cent, on judgment by de
fault and thirty per cent, on compromise.
The number of failures is each year
about six tliousand, and bankruptcy pro
ceedings are rather slow. They do, how
ever, generally end ir a dividend.
THB ocrnmarion-^nsral the lool AN OLD SHOWMAN’S YARN.
office. Hot. N. McFarland, in his annual
report, states that Ihe disposals of pub-
lie lands duriiy the Jtar embraced 19,•
080,768 acres, end Indian lands 998,999
acre#, an increase ever 1882 of ahon|
8,000,000, end over 1881 of about 8,000,*
000 acres,. The receipts from all sonroee
in connection with the disposal of pobWl
lands were 911,088,479, and from sales of •
Indian lands 9825,404, a total of 911,713,-
883. Public lands were disposed of as
follows; Public isles, 278,068 sores; ffet-
vate entries, 1,170,995; pre-emption en- _ .
mia»uw ifi—jEy S"£ 'SZFSXl
nail o - tried. HI ?Q1 flU- timber >r "s-... _ i :_i. i _ i. •
homestead o.-.tries, 81,721,914; timber
culture entries, 8,110,930; entries with
military bounty land warrants, 455,414;
entries with land claim scrip, 101,632.
Os ■ frail* Ilia Knrly Ksyrrlises wills
Clara .Harris aaS Othrr Theatrical
Celebrities.
A little old man bent nearly double
and withered, apparently with age, aat
in shook room on tho third floor of a
house in Pleeekcr street listening to
e naio produced from a violin and piccolo
the hinds of two boys of eighteen aud
dlfeou respectively. The old man was
The national commissioner* appointed
to inveetigato and report to Congress the
feasibility of establishing s national gun
foundry, have returned from their visit
to Europe. They inspected the arsenals
and a~-~.ro- W xaigisnu
and France. Herr Krupp refused to let
them visit his foundry unless they would
agree to buy some of his big gnna.' They
think they dodged tho old German by
viriting some government worka in Rus
sia, where Krup^V process uj.uaod.. The
commissioners say; “ We have nothing
at, all in fids country to ootnpare witl(
the guns abroad^ B> fact, thetas is not ri' 1
piece of ordnance in oar servioe that *
should not Re sold, unless, perhaps, it ia>
tho little Hotchkiss steel repeating gun.
But that is so $mall that it docs not
count. Alt our iron csnnoq ought to be
sold. We 1 Wve skilled mechanics, good
ore from Lake Superior, e<tua] to' tho
Swedish sud Spanish ore used far cannon
in Europe^qnd there is no reason why
we should no| soon equal the English,
French and Prussian in- manufacturing
big steel cannon." The steel is made by
the Siemens-Msrtja process. Tbo psc-
jeetilesuaedpbrM^jpelikeonrsu"- They
wilt submit* si elaborate report to Con
gress. ^
The postmaster-general hss reoeived
the annual report of Joseph Blackfan,
superintendent of foreign mails The
total woight of mails dispstohod to tho
countries in tho poetal union, with the
exception of Oanods, was 1,532,990
pounds, an increase of 829,114 pounds
over tho weight of last year. Of tho let
ter mail dispatched, 41 per cent, was sent
to Groat Britain and Ireland, 23 per
cent, to Germany, 27 per c«nt. to other
countries of Europe, and 9 per cent, to
postal union countries and colonies out
side of Europe. Of the printed matter
and samples sent, 41 per cent was sent
seut to Great Britain and Ireland, 17 to
Germany, 21 to othor Enroponn conn
tries, and 21 to postal union countries
outside of Europe. Tho amount of mail
dispatched net year increased seventy
per cent, over tho amount sent in 1880.
g^jsL 5 , j^ i sasrtihff , ^-Ssas
paid for sea transportation of mails was
4316,522, an incrcaso over the cost ol
1882 of 136,368, or fifty-nine per cent
over 1880. The aggregate omountof the
balance credited to this country liy other
countries, on account of mail transpor-
tation, is *145,777. Tho sum paid by
ihe department to other postal union
countries on account of mail transporta
tion was 186,745. It is estimated that
the revenue collected in tho United
States from unpaid matter, received from
foreign countries, exceeded the amount
of unpaid matter sent to other countries
*123,333. The estimated amount ot
postage collected in tho United 8tatca on
foreign mail matter is 42*078,913.
A Visit to the Tiehborne Claimant.
Mr. Qaartermsine East. Mr. Hay
worth, of Southport, and Mr. Grey, ot
Southampton, {raid their quarterly visit
to the claimant in Portsea convict prison
recently. He informed them, in the
course of conversation, that ho would
rather rot in prison than be liberated as
Orton. Though he knew the present
Government would do nothing for him,
he hoped bis friends would not lose their
confidence. He complimented the prison
officials on their kindness, and evinced
great pleasure in telling his friends that,
owing to his having earned a first-class
certificate, after their next visit in
November be would be entitled to re
ceive their visits every two months till
his imprisonment expired, which, sup
posing he was allowed out on ticket-of-
teave, wonld be abont Christmas, 1884.
The claimant is at present employed in
the carpenter shop.—London Tele
graph.
Zouave Troupe, which secured such a'
world-wide reputation during tho days
Of the war.
“Yes, I am in splondid health,” said
Mr. Carter to a reporter of tho World,
and he hobbled to a window as beat ho
oould, considering his paralyzed condi
tion, as if to refute the statement. “I
ahull never he what I woa thirty years
ago, though. Oh, those wore good old
days. It was in 1818 that I reached
where I earned my first dollar in tho
capacity of a journey nmu painter. When
para ting became slack I began deliver
ing lectures on 'Artificial Memory.’ I
did Hot suoeeed very well, so I packed
' raps and steered for Now York. On
ng there I entered the employ of
■ Porter, the founder of the AWew-
itnerican. At the time he was en-
gngtd constructing a flyiug machine to
Mrffieople tt> California in three days.
Weapon found that tho railroads aud
■fesHers would eventually reach there
nil qhfokly as wo oould with our inven
tion;'and it was accordingly aliandonod.
I then turned to tho stage. I sang at
the OM liroaday Theatre in 1860 with
ths l Bfiguin Opera Company, and also
played, with Lester Wallaok iu ‘Monto
Christo’ as super. Oh, he was a ‘crack’
actor. Never has an audicnco seen his
Bupffkp ou the stage.
. . S^ABTINCt OUT FOR HIlfSEt.F.
•'ATthen t hought I wonld start out tor
myself. I obtained the servioes of a
’Mexican Indian Giant’ With him and
a dwarf I. formed .the .’Caster 4)nriertty
Shop.’ 'For several years I traveled
with them, visiting every Btato iu the
country aud making several visits to
Europe. In 1857 I cleared in eight
months alone in Texas 95,000 with this
show. Tho following winter I went to
Coha, aa my giant could speak Spanish
well, and cleared 93,000 with two ex
hibitions. Then I started out with my
’American Eutortainmont.’ I presented
tho most magnifloent panorama the
world, bad ever seen at that time. I
personated the yankee, negro, fireman,
waiter, newsboy, and Indian. Tho
scenes were laid in Now York, the Sontli
and the wildH of tho West. I began tho
entertainment in England to ’standing
room only.’ It was an immense suo-
cess until I was seized with rhenmatism,
from which I have not oven now recov
ered.
"Then tho war broke out here, and
from the fame of Colonel Ellsworth and
his Zouaves I conceived tho idea of get
ting np a Zouave drill, tho principal at
tractions being tliat the participants
were little girls instead of men. I re
turned to America and liegsn selecting
my company. In N, Y. city I obtained
seven little girls from seven to eleven
years of age. I equipped them with
<fi8re3*so'muol7slIrlTthat / nt thoir Jebtit
at the Green street Theatre in Albany
in 1861 they mndo a great hit, I hud
letters of congratulation from tho Mayor,
ex-Mayor, Ernstus Corning aud oilier
promincut citizens, and for one month
tho houses woro packed nightly. Then
I showed them in the principal cities
throughout the country. Tliero was not
a greater sensation created during tho
war in the stage line.
Punk is our authority for the state
ment that it doesn’t hurt a man's back
half so mncli to bend over at howling,
when he rolls twenty pound balls, as it
does to bend over to black bis shoes.
aud had them tanght to perform npon
the instruments with which they tijivo
acquired inch a reputation. With this
faimily I made a big hit. I havo just
been to see Annie Berger myself. But
then success had boon too mnch for mo.
Financial reverses and ill-health enme,
and I am reduced to tho position in
whioh you now see me. I wont to n
water-oure aud bonomo a victim to mai-
S raotioo. I thou tried tho Hot Springs,
rk., and tho treatment thefo only ag
gravated my malady. I was paralyzed
ton years ago while writing a letter in
Washington, and I have never recovered
from tho shook; still I am well and ready
to enter tho riug again. For some lime
post I have bcou exhibiting tho magie
spy-glass, my own invention. It cu-
ables you to seo iu a single drop of wa
ter wonderful animals, tho intricate
moohaniam of a humming-bird's feather
and the elephant inu proportions of an
insect. Oh, I’m death on rending, I
nm. I have oloared thousands of dollars
iu a single night, hut 91 pleases mo as
well now.
“I shall soon bo in tho field ngnln,
however, with nu entirely now and novid
entertainment, " nl
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
llrMhrr llardnrr Hives Me Ilia View al
Charily aa It la and aa II Mhanld be.
[From the Detroit Froa Tress. 1
“Do Soeretary will rend do follorin'
cotnmunicnahnn,” said the President ns
tho meeting opened:
Bbo. Gabdnbb—Several of yonrfriends
desire to know how you stand on tho
n tlon of charity this fall. Does the
propose to donate anything to looal
oharity this winter?
Respectfully,
Foun Friends.
“As to de fnst query," said tho Presi
dent, as lio drew himself up, “de an
swers dat I have heretofore given mils'
stand fur do answer now. I)» charity of
Detroit has bred a race of beggars who
wiUjmMter leave ns. It hns added to
de loafcrlsm an’ oncournged do Idleness
an’ ginernl shiftlossness. It has said to
.To heads of families: ‘Idle do summer
away an' you shall lio supported (lurin'
de winter I Go ask (lo Poo’ Superintend
ent if do same persons done’ return
y'ar after y’nr? Ask him if men an’
women havo not oomo to look upon a
poo’ fund as doir right an' if thoy doun
demand doir allowance, instead of ask
ing for it? Chnirty filled (le limitry
wid tramps. When oharity tried
to undo its work (lo tramps began to
burn barns an’ murder women an'
cliill'en. Charity hns euoonrngod a
froveofflvo hundred lieggar cliill’en to
march np an’ down ebery resident street,
ft hns wasted its tears npon brutes of
nen an’ its prayers upon lmrdoncd
women, an’ its money lias gono to food
people so vilo an’ wicked dat State’s
Prison ached to roocivo ’em.
" Aa to do second emory, dnr’ nm a
poo' ole man liltin’ ilex' (lonh to Sir Isaac
Walpole. Wlio lir.s paid his rent for
months past? Charity? No, gom'lou;
oharity nebor li'orsof anybody but ahold-
faced lieggar. Our friend, lieah, Sir
rsano, haa not only kept do root obor do
elo mall's head, but has furnished him
witli many a meal to eat.
“ Up on Grove street, near do cabin
>/. tvnyriuwu nonce, itm upon ote woman
dat has gone blind. Briidder Ilehoc nil’
odder members tins chipped in to take
ear' of lior, an’ whntobcr she has had de
pas’ summer or lias got now nm due to
deir kindness. Town charity hasn't dis-
kibercdlier yet.
“ Up on Scott street, clna to do cabin
of Whalebone nowker, dar was a death
do odder day an’ two cbill'en war’ left
nlono in do world. Charity left 'em alone
iu do houso until do landlord turned ’em
into do street; den ohurity walked off an
Brudder Howkcr took do orphans home
an' will keep ’em frow do winter.
“Dp my way dnr’ am a sick man who
wants medicine—a lioy wid a broken log
who wants nonrisliin’ food—a woman
who has had a long run of fever widout
her rent failin’ behind or her cbill’en
goin’ hungry. Lot do cry of distress
como to Pickles Smith, Judge Cadaver,
Samuel Bhin,Rov. Penstock or any odder
mcmlier who kin spare from his purse
or his tablo, an’ it am promptly an
swered. Wo know our nay burs an’ wo
nre naburly. We found no hospitals, es
tablish no beggars’ hcndrjtinrlcrs, an'
issue no call for odder cities to send in
deir paupers to lie supported, but om
naybur finds us at his sick bed, an’ mis
fortune finds our purses open. Ho who
has oharity in his heart need not go
hnntin’ fur do poo’ to relievo an’ fur re
porters to puff deir gifts. Charity dat
rides aronn’ town on a fo'-hoss wagin
will seo a workin’mnn starvo an’ feed a
loafer who lias spent half his summer in
do Bnloons. Let uh drap de suhjiek an'
proceed to bizness. ”
A Juke.
brass instruments to the combination
and organized the first female brass
hand in the United States. Tho music
t,hey rendered was pronounced some of
the best over heard.
THE LATEST ATTRACTIONS.
“A little later Sol Smith Russell was
glad os a greenhorn to ask mo for a
situation, and lie was given one as a sort
of specialty artist. He thanks me to-day
for the start I gave him. At the same
time I took the Berger family in baud
MEETING CLARA MORRIS.
“Right here lot mo tell yon an interest
ing opisodo: in 1862, in tho early days of
my girl troupe, I brought tho girl
Zouaves to Cleveland to open tho old
theatre now culled thoComiquo. In the
same houso at which wu boarded there
wero two girls about fifteen years of
age. These girls became quito intimate
with those belonging to my company
and begged hard to be allowed to go be
hind the scenes while Ihe performance
progressed. I consented and tho two
girls becoming Infatuated expressed u
desire to become actresses. One of tue
mothers said ‘no,’ but the other said
‘yes.’ The girl whoso mother said ‘yes’
became the eminent and favorite tra-
f edieiuie Clara Morris. The other girl,
believe, is the wife ot n master black
smith and is the mother of ten children
nnd resides on the Pacific slope.
“It was only a little after, too, that 1
popped tho question to a young lad)
from Painsvillo, O., and she said yes.
We were accordingly married at once,
and the result of that marriage was these
hoys whose music yon have juBt listened
to.
“On the 9th of November, 1863,1 took
passage with my troupe for Cuba; from ...
., T . , „ « , ■ Two men m Miles City, Montana,
there I took them through New Eng and ., retcnded to have learned by telegraph
and their success was immense. I added* 11...f the Government had thrown nm-i
that tho Government had thrown open
the eastern jiart of tho Fort Keogh reser
ration to settlers. They whispered this
cautiously to special friends, enjoining
strict secrecy. Before night there was
a stampede, the supposed publio land
claims wero staked off, shanties wer<
put up, tents were pitched, nnd tin
jokers say that a town was laid out, and
a real cstato “boom” was under full
headway before nine o’clock iu tho even
ing. But by ten o'clock tho joke was-
put, and the place was deserted.
TUE JOKER!? BUDGET.
A riONEIR EXHIBITOR.
In tho early days ot Michigan, when
a county fair was to bo remembered,
one of tlie southern eonntiea in Michi-
S un held a fair one fall at whioh ons of
10 exhibitors was a man named Pro-
thor. Ho had an entry of poultry, an
other of oattln nnd a third of vegetables.
When tho judges in poultry oamo
around Prothor mot them with:
“Gentlemen, hum aro tho biggoat
liens, tho futtost geese and the hoariest
turkeys iu tho Btute. I want first pre
mium.”
"Wo’ll see about it," replied one.
“I want first premium or I'll liek the
three of you half to dentji I” announoed
Prut her lit a strict!,- business tone, and
it may lio said right hero that he didn’t
get the premium nnd that ho taRtuftfr
word, Twp.fjy.Vf t)l0 thlrd got
away after huving two teeth knocked
out.
Wlton tho jttilgea on eattlo earns
around they tun ed np their none* at
Prather's old onw and two halt-starved
calves, but he placidly remarked:
“Gentlemen, that ’ere cow was driven
480 miles to roach this State, and them
onives can't ho hunt for blood. Their
grandmother was owned by tho Empress
of Franco."
Something was said abont Ills careless
ness in not entering the atnok for tho
bpno-yard instead of the fair and ha an*
■werod with:
“Gentlemen, I’m willing to take sec
ond premium, and if I don't got it you'd
bettor hire sonio one to hold me I"
They neglected Ids advice, end in due
course of timo had their noses driven
hnek or their eyes put in mourning.
Prothor was telling tho judges ou veg
etables what thoy might expect in oese
lie did not get a premium, when be was
arrested, Imt only after he hail pounded
two constables. Within three weeks
after the fair lio had mauled the Pleat-
dent, rUD tho Secretory Into the woods,
and imlvcrizod the Treasurer, and be
fore tlie end of six mouths ho lind Uekcd
all the judges hut two, sud was hunting
for them with great energy when he got
before tho courts and was sont to jail far
a yoar. —M. Quad.
WANTED TO IIB A FITOIUB.
“Who is ibis gentleman that pap*
calls a daisy?"
“He is a hull player, my dear.”
“But papa said lie lind a 'phenomenal
curve’ and that they couldn’t hit him.”
"Yes, my dear."
- "But, mamma, lie stood up straight,
and 1 didn’t boo any one try to hit him.”
"Papa mount tho hall, my dear."
“Yes, mamma, but I didn’t see tho
hall."
"Noilhcr could tho batters, mydear.”
“But what makes every oue talk
about him and call him a 'daisy ?’ ”
“Because bo's the new pitcher from
Chicago, whom tho manager of the olub
has just scoured at *3,000 a season.”
"Bat is lio ho very smart, mamma?”
“Only ns a pi toiler. ”
"But can’t he really write his own
name, mamma?"
“Ho thoy say, my dear.”
“And yet they give him *3,000."
“Yes, my dear.’’
“When I grow up can’t I be a
plttJimr, lirnimnsr*
“Perhaps, my dear, but why?”
"Could I get *3,000?”
“Perhaps.”
"And not have to lenrn to road or
write ?”—Buhdettk.
MISTAKEN IPENTITT,
Thoy wore discussing mistaken Iden
tity: “ni was 'livin’a turn down Fill
Moll one liarftcrnoon,” said Mr. Gordon
Gordon, "not doing any think, when an
old gyardsman came hup hand lmrsked
me liif Hi couldn't ruisa ’is pension.
•Bless mo ’art,’ says I, 'Hi'm not hill
tho Pension Hufllco, mo boy.’ ’But,’
says '(), ‘m’ iud Juko, eawn't yon givo
hie a letter to tho 'Omo Heorotary ? Hi
was with your Grace at Waterloo.’ ‘But
Mi ’m not tlie Juke hot Wellington,'
says Mi. But lilnwst me, the fellow
wouldn't believe Lit, don’t ye see?"
‘•iS'acrc hleu," said Monsieur Bieuelevee,
“I know zat myselcf. I was once in ze
jnrdang of zo Twilleroo, an’ smokeen
■non cigarette, wen I pass ze gar oi
1’Empr-r-rer N-poloong. To mygr-r-reat
constarnnayshong zo gar pr-r-reseut
arm, an’ givo mo ze suloo. I tol ze
offeesaro I was no I'Umpr-r-rer. an’ ho
seem vnro mooeli nnr-prise.” “Yes, it
was funny,” said Mr. Spriggs. “Why,
I was walking the other (lay down Broad
way, and a fellow— ought have known
me, too—a fellow came np and slapped
mo on the hook, and says he, ’Why,
suffering Moses 1 when did yon get
back I’ ”—I/ifc.
, HADN’T CONSULTED HIM.
“You should learn some trade, my
son,” said an Austin gentleman to his
young hopeful. ' ‘Bricklayers are getting
S6.50 a day, while lawyers can’t afford to
ride on the street cars.”
“Pa, why didn’t you learn a trade
when you were a hoy ?”
“That’s not only a silly, bnt also on
impertinent question. I didn’t learn a
trade when I was a boy ont of regard
for your feelings. I wanted to give yon
au opportunity to say that yonr father
was a gentleman.”
“It can’t be helped now,” replied the
hoy, moodily, “liul 1 wish yon had con
sulted mo, for if wo had arranged for
you to bo tho bricklayer, I could
have been the gentleman myself.”—
Austin SijtingH.