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TIMES-ENTERPIUSE, THOMASVILLE, OA.. AUGUST 26. U04.
Holdenhurst
—21 Horn.
(w
WALTER BLOOMFIELD
Ccvrrttht ur« hr a<n» aomx't Ion.
CHATTER XXV.
DEATH.
' Tile old loan ottered no resistance to
my violence, nor did he otter a word.
A ghastly paleness overspread bis (ace,
bis head (ell a little to one side, and he
looked as l( he woold hare (alien but
(or the support I afforded him. His
apparent collapse undec the audden
attack which had been made upon him
excited my symptby, and In less than
a minute I relaxed my grasp, saying:
"Tell me where you have put those
coins, and not only shall you escape
punishment, but you shall be rewarded
and allowed to remain hero as long
as you live.”
The old man made no reply, but
leaned against the wall, breathing
heavily, .vltb a strange expression upon
his (ace, the like of which 1 bad not
seen.
Again I approached him, and laying
my band gently on bis shoulder spoke
to hint kindly, yet earnestly:
“I am sdrry I have (rightened you.
As I live, I promise you shall come
to no barm.' But please tell iqe what
you hare done with those coins, (or
l hare a right to know.”
With n great effort, pltlablo for Its
feebleness, the old man took a large
Iron key from his pocket, and essayed
to step towards me, making as though
ho would speak; but he (ailed ot his
Intention dud (ell heavily on the floor.
The Incident seriously alarmed me.
In an Instant I was on my knees at his
side, supporting bis head on my arm.
But n:y utmost efforts (ailed to rouse
tile old man; Ills attenuated form
waxed heavier and heavier, and his
half-dosed eyes and lips lent an ex
pression to bis face awful to behold.
Quito terrified at his condition,
stamped violently on the floor and
shouted so loudly (or help that two
serrants rushed Into the room.
"Fetch Dr. Thuriow at once; 1( be
Isn't In, send the boy on a horse to
Ixworth (or a doctor. Adams Is 111—I
don't know how seriously. And bring
some water, one of you, qulcklyl"
The women hastily left to obey my
orders, and were met at the door by
my father and Mr. Wolsey.
"What Is the mnttcr!” asked my
father, stooping to look at the old man
•as no lay on the floor. "What has
•happened I"
”1 was talking to Adams, when he
vuadenly reeled and (ell down un
conscious,” I explained.
"He would be better bn the couch,
said Mr, Wolsey; and adopting the sug
gestion we lifted the old man Into that
position.
By this tlmo a servant bad returned
with some W'.ter; and while I bathed
the face o( the patient, Mr. Wolsey
and my father felt his left side and
watched Intently for signs of respira
tion, which could with difficulty be
discerned.
"I am afraid be Is going," said my
father quietly,
Mr. Wolsey, to whom these ominous
words were addressed, signified his
assent by lightly lucllnlug his head.
"0 no!" I cried In an agony of fear,
oppressed with the cousclousnes of
bow largely 1 wns responsible for this
catastrophe; "five minutes ago ho was
well. He must surely revive soon.
My exclamatlou wns interrupted by
the entry of Dr. Thuriow, who at once
began a systematic examination of the
patient. He felt the old man's pulse
and the region of his heart, closed and
unclosed Ills passive hands, lifted one
of his eyelids and placed his linger on
the oyo-an experiment which I could
not help hut witness, though It horri
fied me profoundly. These things ac
complished. Dr. Thuriow turned to my
father nud said:
"1 am sorry to tell you, Mr. Truman,
that your old servant Is dead."
My heart sank within me os I real
ised the mcuulug of the doctor's words.
This was my first experience of death;
and In presence of that awful mystery
I seemed to grow older by as tunny
years as uiluutes had elapsed since the
fatal accusation. I could not speak,
but stood 111 a sort of stupor, looking
down upon what had so recently been
Instinct with warmth and motion. All
thought of the sequins wns tuiulshcd
from my mind, and instead I could
think only of the one who had taught
me to ride in the green lanes about
Holdenhurst when I was a child; who
bad been first to Impress upon me the
names of the trees, shrubs, flowers and
birds common In our neighborhood;
and who, so far ns I could remember,
had never spoken harshly to me. And
now that one lay before me dead, he
who but for me would doubtless still
be performing his customary duties
about the place. My reflections were
too painful to hear uunisturbed. uud I
broke down utterly.
Dr. Thuriow was aliout to lead me
from the room when lie saw the Turk
ish daggers which lay on the tnble.
"What are these?” he asked, picking
up the weapons. "Has the man died
from an Injury which has escaped my
notice:” and be turned again towards
the couch. \
“No, no.” I explained: “they have
not t-en unshrnted for yean, lawk;
gou will find It so.”
assented Da Thuriow, who
nevertheless thought tt proper to sat
isfy himself of the truth of my state
ment by making a careful examination
of the daggers.
“Of what has the old man died?”
These were the first words that my
father uttered after be bad been told
that his old servant was dead, and
his voice was tremulous with sup
pressed emotion.
“I can't say until I have Investigated
the case more particularly,” replied Dr.
Thuriow; “bnt appearances seem to
Indicate syncope. His heart has been
weak for a long time, and It Is not an
unnatural termination for him; but at
the same time I should not have ex-
pectcd It unless precipitated by some
sudden excitement or passion.”
While Dr. Thuriow was speaking,
Mr. Wolsey opened the door, and re
vealed our servants standing in a
group Just without. He Informed them
of the melancholy event which had
occurred within, and they returned
sorrowfully to the kitchen, whispering
together as they went; while Mr, Wol
sey, my father and I, and Dr. Thuriow,
crossed tho ball to the dining room,
the latter carrying the Turkish dag
gers und aigrette which he had taken
from the table, and a lurge rusted Iron
key which be had found on the floor
close to where Adams bad fallen
CHAPTER XXVI.
HOUEI.XSS.
“No, Ernest, I am not bard on you
my fuult lies on the other side. I have
been weak, and am justly punished for
my weakness; but I nm not too old to
reform. Henceforward I will rfilo In
my own house; and anyone, not except
lug even yourself, who is Indisposed to
submit to that rule, moy betake him
self elsewhere. Consider well my
words; they are not lightly spoken.”
‘T protest that my conduct towards
you has never been anything but that
of an affectionate son. Why has all
this trouble fallen upon me? Because
1 have sought to make peace between
you and your brother. Was that a
bad task to set tnyselr? I bare always
believed, and do now bcllove more
strongly than ever, that your brother
had no hand In the robbery of the
sequins.”
My father smiled faintly, and re
marked In a somewhat sarcastic tone
tbnt ho doubted whether I should hare
assumed the Christian part of peace
maker so earnestly In this case If It
had uot also been the way to a closer
acquaintance with Miss Marsh. His
words aroused the slumbering auger
within me, and I replied to them with
more warmth tlinn discretion:
"Wlmt you soy Is very true. When
Inclination and duty point the same
way, tho duty Is well performed.'
"That has hardly been so la this
case,” said my father.
"My purpose was defeated by a
natural though unexpected event; aud
I am no more responsible for the death
of tbo old man we followed to the
grave yesterdny than I am responsible
for the death of Charles the First.
Dr. Thuriow has to|d you that Adams'
heart was weak, and that it was a mir
acle he lived so long as hp did. It was
my ill fate to be the ono to accuse
him of his crime. Uncle Sam's advice
was sound.”
Very sound!" echoed my father bit
terly. "And nearly all the property
found In the old man's room. Including
the red Turkish chest, was placed there
with my consent when all the rest of
the house was being overhauled by
your uncle's workmen!”
“How about the key which Adams
was about to give me the moment
before his final selsure?"
"Ay, how about It? Have you not
speut two days Ineffectually trying to
fit It to every lock within these walls?
Ernest, you have entirely exhausted
my patience. I must absolutely de
cline to discuss with you again the
robbery of the sequlus; and I repent,
for the last time, my determination.
You may remain here ns long as you
wilt, and all I have is yours, provided
that you cease to correspond with my
brother, Ills wife, and Miss Marsh.
Unless you are prepared to adopt that
course you must no longer consider
this your home. I daresay tt pains you
to be told this so bluntly; but you
must reflect that a man docs not talk
In this way to his only son without
pain to himself, and surely never with
out great cause. I. at least, do not."
Aud with pale face, compressed lips,
and a strange light in his eyes, my
father passed out of the room.
For a few moments I stood still,
dazed by the importance of the decision
I had so unexpectedly been called upon
to make. I never for a moment
doubted that 1 was very Ill-used; on
the contrary, I considered myself most
unjustly punished. Ever since my un
cle was at Holdenhurst my policy had
beeu directed with a view to effect his
reconciliation to my father and the
wlunlng of Constance Marsh for my
self; and such desires. I conceived,
were eorameudable and natural In any
one circumstanced ns 1 was. The terms
Imposed by my father as tho price
of his continued friendship and pro
tection wore too exacting for me to
entertain. Deeply as It grlered me to
finally’quit that sequestered spot where
I was bom, whose every nook recalled
some pleasant Incident of my child
hood's happy days when my father
had watched over me with A tender
and anxious solicitude such as a man
only bestows bn n motherless child, I
was prepared to abandon It at once
and for ever rather than renounce tbo
dear girl whose love I bad won. It was
hard for me to leave my home and live
estranged from my lifelong companion
and friend, the one to whom I owed
everything; but even that, hard as It
was, would be easier then the alterna
tive offered to me. These considera
tions brought tears to my eyes, but
my purpose was never for a moment
weakened. Suddenly I roused myself
from the reverie Into which I bad
fallen, and turning to go to my own
room, encountered Mr. TVolsey at the
door.
What Is all this trouble between
you and your father, Ernest?” asked'
the old gentleman.
You had better Inquire for the par-
tlculars where you learned the fact,”
I answered testily; for I could not
help thinking that Mr, Wolsey was In
somo measure responsible for the
present resoluto attitude of my
father; that he bad been exerting his
lnfiuenco to annul the friendship
which he knew existed between my
undo and me. Without waiting to
hear any further remark from him,
pnssed my Interrogator abruptly
and continued my Way to my room,
No sooner Was I in assured solitude
than I sat down, and resting my
aching head on my hands, endeavored
Impartially review the Whole
course of my life, which consisted, I
found, of two periods—nearly twenty
years of happy, careless Indifference,
and Blx months of high hopes, grave
anxieties aud bitter aisappolntmeqts,
the division being marked by my In
troduction to uncle 8am, The shorter
of the two periods seemed tbo longer,
the flight of time being appreciated
for the Importance rather than the
number of Its events. For two hours
did I wrestlo with myself and suffer
Indescribable anguish of spirit, vain
ly desiring tho light and guidance
which I knew not where nor how td
seek. Tho purest, most loving, most
disinterested, most generous being I
had ever known was Constance
Marsh, aud to her would I go to
claim tho promlso she had made to
become my wife. Would that I had
accepted her advice, and abandoned
all hope or thought of the cursed se-
quins! But the mischief was past and
Irreparable, and I could only resolve
that novor ngaln-no, not even though
the clearest conceivable Indications
of success were placed .before me—
would I so much ns lift my band for
tho recovery of a treasure the very
numo ot which must ever be asso
ciated In my mind with misery.
My resolution was taken: I would
certainly leave homo. Indeed, there
was nothing else for mo to do, my
father’s terms being precise, and .such
as I could not bring myself to accept;
yet did I love my father as well as I
had ever done, and the thought that
I was now going away from Holden-
burst, porkaps never to return—that
possibly I had looked upon
father's face for tho last time—cut
me to tbo heart. I sat down at
table and wrote upon a sheet of
paper, which I could only dimly sec, a
few Hues addressed to my father, re
gretting that ray conduct during the
past few months had been such as ho
could not approve, especially as that
conduct had been based upon a sin
cere belief !u Its righteousness, a be
lief which I still entertained; and
therefore, by his own ruling, Iloldcn-
hurst wns no longer my borne. I
closed with many endearing expres
sions, not forgetting to state that
should bo ever desire to see me, It
would be my pleasure no less than
my duty to vorno to him.
My painful task completed. I folded
the note, and rose to luck a handbag.
As 1 did so the looking-glass revealed
my face and startled me, so pallid
and haggard had I become. I ob
served my appearance for but a mo
ment, aud then hurried forward my
sennty preparations for departure.
Yet a few minutes later, and I had
left the bouse with no more than I
could conveniently carry, coming away
unobserved through a door which led
from the garden Into uu orchard, aud
thenco along the footpath which
served us as a convenient short cut
into the Bury road.
It wns early morning, and the au
tumnal tulst which obscured the fields
was slowly dlsappearlug before the
rising sun. When 1 reached the bend
of the road I turned to take a last
look at my old heme, but It was en-
eloped In the mist and could not bo
seen. Resuming my journey at a
great pace, I endeavored by rapid
tvalklog aud clear thinking to emerge
from the mental depression which bad
resulted, ns I did not even then
doubt, from my errors of judgment
less than my peculiar circum
stances. Clear thinking! Alas! that
was a power which had never been
mine; and tt seemed there was no
way for me to attain It but through
the cruel discipline afforded by a suc
cession of blunders and consequent
dlsasater.
To bo continued. .
Hangni-j’, Big Towns.
Hungary has eleven towns of 50,000
Inhabitant or more, according to the
recent census, lludnpest has 732,000,
Szogodin 103,000. Maria Thorenlopol
82.000, Dobreczln 73,000, Preshurg 00,-
000, ltodmcrovasarbcly 01,000, Kcla-
kernot 57,000, Arad 50.000, Temcavar
33,000, Groswnnlelu and Klausenburg
50,000 each. Agrmn, In Croatia, baa
61,000 inhabitants. - - - -
4
PLUCK, ROMANCE
AND ADVENTURE.
1
CAUGHT BEAB.
JtOtt. EACON HANK STHONG.
j{ W wito live* up at the Mead-
3 I I 9 °ws, writes a correspond-
31 ~ jt ent from Pittsfield, Vt,
vtOK knows of two tramps who
will not bother him or hif chickens any
more. In fact, he la pretty sure he Is
rid of tho entire cult for good and ally
as he has been told that ltl Hobodotu
there are certain signs displayed on
fences which indicate good and poor
field of Investigation; He has found
some of these signs on bis fence a mile
from the house, and belieres that they
were placed there by a pair of tramps
with whom he had a somewhat un
usual experience.
Hank began to bo bothered With
members of the “profession” early In
tho summer, and at first Mrs. Strong, a
whole-souled Individual, responded to
theJr entreaties for food with Jersey
milk, large pieces of pio and good
home-made ebc-ese. When she stopped
the tramps hung around until dark and
made off with chickens, vegetables,
and even firkins of butter* As the
cold wcathar came on the hoboes got
more numerous, until they became a
pest. About a week a so the deacon
resolved to be rid of tlieni* /
About noon lie went to tbe henhouse,
and selecting half a dozen TlmnksglV'
Ing capons killed and picked them in
full view, lie fttrung the six bn a pole
and put them In the icehouse. THe ice
house was a box-llke affair, about
ten by twenty feet, with a height of
eight feet. It had n good-sized door
that locked with a spring catch and
was strong enough to resist ordinary
efforts to open It froth within.
As soon ns the chores were done the
deacon, armed with a bean-pole, took
up bis position In tae kitchen and from
a point of vantage at the window
watched the door of the henhouse Just
across the driveway. Mrs. Strong
blew out tho light after making sure
that the kitchen aud icehouse doors
had been left ajar and sat down With
tbe deacon.
It was a bright night, and the hus
band and wife could just make out tbe
door of the trap they had laid for tbe
tramps. They waited patiently and at
0 o'clock saw a forn\ on all foyrs
emerge from tbe dlrectlou of tbe pas
ture aud disappear within the house.
“One *f th’ varmints,” whispered the
deacon. “Don't ye tnov* till tb’ other
feller glta inside.”
There wa* A period of suspense that
seemed half an hour mid then a second
form was made out emetglng from tho
pasture. This was approaching In A
crouched position and was followed
by another about tbe samo size.
“Gosh all hemlock, *f 1 won't ketch
three *f ’em,” jubilantly whispered tbe
deacon. "Dldu't think there was bnt
two.”
The forms approached cautiously;
circled toward the Ice-house, and went
A moment later the kitchen door
was softly pushed open and Derfcdri
Strong crept out, followed by his wife.
He moved noiselessly to the Ice-house
and pushed the door shut with the
bean- pole. Tbe next lustaut a muffled
shriek burst from within, followed by
second shriek and a loud bass roar
tbat was never made by a human
being.
Let us out, let ua out,” yelled a
voice. “Good Lord, let us out There’s
a bear In here and he's trying to eat
us up.”
“Holy smoke,” grasped the deacon oa
a second and louder roar smote his ear.
Quick, Mnrtliy, git th* carblue. It’s
loaded.”
While Mrs. Strong ran for the gun
more roars and howls filled the ice
house, followed by n floundering and
thumping on the door.
Wait 'till I get tb’ carbine,” yelled
the deacon. "Blame it, don’t ye bust
thet door. He can’t eat ye both th’
onct.”
Just then Mrs. Strong came on the
run with the gun In her hand and the
deacon slipped the lock. Instantly out
tumbled two terrified tramps, hatless
and white, and before the farmer could
stop them they fairly flew down the
road, shouting at the top of their
voices. Directly after them came a
small Mack boar with bit mouth full
of chicken and one paw swathed In the
remnant of a coat tall.
“Gimme th’ gun. gimme th’ gun,”
gurgled tho deacon.
But there was no time [or this, and
Mrs. Strong pointed the barrel at bruin,
shut both eyes, aud fired. The bail
nearly lifted the top of the animal's
bead off. and he died iustnutty.
Gosh.” ejaculated the deacon, view-
Ing his good wife with pride. “Wbo’d
hev thought it? Blamed If ye can't
shoot es well es ye kin cook.”
I cai’lnte we be rid ’f them pesky
tramps fer a spell.” she responded,
with a gleam of pride In her eyes.—
New York World.
BRAVE WATCHMAN.
William McAllister, a flagman on
the Philadelphia and Reading Railroad
at Thirteenth and Cumberland streets,
Philadelphia, sacrificed bis life in sav
ing three girls from death beneath the
wheels of n swiftly moving train. Me.
Allistor was taken to the Snmaritnn
Hospital with both of his legs broken
and bis head und body injured. He
died an hour after being admitted.
The girls whom he rescued went away
Immediately after tbe accident and
their names are unknown.
Within five minutes of tbe time he
wns to be relieved from bis vigil by the
day man McAllister noticed two mill
girls stop to talk to a third girl be
tween the northbound rails. At the
same time he beard ac outbound train;
which within a few seconds would M
upon the unthinking girls. He shouted
i warning as he started toward them.
At the locomotive drawing the north
bound train hove In sight* not fifty
yards away, a south bound train came
along. Without hesitation McAllister
sprang in front of the south bound
train and reached the girls. He threw
his weight against them and aent them
sprawling out of harm’s way.
But he was too late to escape himself.
Before he could Jump from the tracks
tbe pilot of tbe swiftly moving engine
bit him.
RAT FOUGHT MAN.
A remarkable story of a fight in tbe
street with an Infuriated rat was told
to his friends by Andrew Smith, of
No. 158 Fifty-seventh street. Brooklyn.
Smith was on his way to Manhattan/
where be is employed, and started to
cross Second avenue, half a block from
his home, when he saw a rat also
crossing tbe street in front of him, but
In a diagonal direction. It was evident
ly leaving a stable in the rear of Wege-
lln’s grocery store on the corner. It
wns an unusually large rat.
Smith started after the rat. Instead
of making for the nearest hole the
animal went leisurely on its way, and
Smith caught up with it just as it was
about to spring up oa the curb.
The rat stopped, turned quickly, look
ing for a moment at the man, then
sprang straight at him. At tbe same
time his foot shot out. Tbe rot made
a curve over his swinging shoe, landed
on bifl leg below tbe knee and started
td bit# furiously. Smitb kicked tbe
animal off. It sprang at him again
and he kicked once more. This time
be struck and the rat was knocked sev
eral yards away. It recovered Itself
and made another dash at the mun.
This time Smith managed to stun the
rot; Hd killed it before it could re
cover.
Smith thou went on hit way. Later
he felt his leg pain, On examining It
be found bla sock and underwear soak
ed with blood, bis trousers torn and a
wound in his leg half un inch long*
where tbe rot had buried his teeth.
SHOT SNAKE, SAVED MOTHER.
Miss Katie Klinger, a young school
teacher, saved her mother from a
rattlesnake on Goss Hill, Pa., by kill
ing the snake with d rifle at twenty-
five yards. Miss Klinger a year ago
won a gold mednl In a shooting match.
Mrs. Klinger was walking in the yard,
when the snake reared up In front of
her. 8he screamed, and then fainted.
Her daughter, hearing her, secured a
loaded Winchester rifle, and shot tho
snake’s head cleanly off.
•100 fOR AN ECO
Of an East Indian Gnine-Fowl Imports#
Into England.
Not often docs tbe price of a singl*
egg climb to $100, but this Is what was
offered for each of the eggs of a cer
tain Indian game-ben, which wa*
brought to Eugland some time ago,
says Country Life in America.
For centuries the Indian Game, or
Aaeel Fowls, have bden the very ape*
of the game-breed, for the pureness of
blood and pedigree have been most
carefully preserved for so long tb&t tb*
date of the origin of tbe race has bee*
lost In tbe past.
it Is almost impossible to secur*
specimens of the purest blood, for they
are treasured by the Indian sportsmen
at the highest value, and the best
fowls are not allowed to go out of their
native country.
As game-fowl, they are great fight*
rs. Those who have seen them in
India—for the finest birds never resell
our colder climates—tell of tbelr prow
ess and ungovernable tenacity in bat
tle. With them, it Is always victory
or death.
In America, however, the game*
fowls are seldom raised for fighting
purposes, but for show, and as pet*
and hobbies of poultry fanciers.
Th« Pope Surprised Him.
In Catholic Church circles they art
telling a good story which has com*
from Rome and which deals with th*
octogenarian Cardinal Mocenni.
The Cardinal, who has been confined
to his rooms for n long time with rheu
matic gout, is subject to violent fits of
Irritation, somewhat trying to the pa
tience of Ills serrants and his visitors.
One morning His Eminence, who is an
niveterate smoker, lay on n divan in hi*
study puffing away at a pipe of Turk
ish tobacco and deeply absorbed in #
book. Presently a gentle knock wa*
heard at the door. The Cardinal,
paying no heed, continued to read. A
louder knock followed, but tbe old
prelate did not want to be disturbed,
he budged not.. A third knock wa*
loud and prolonged.
Tbe Cardinal raised himself lift
wrath, flung the book to the floor and
shouted:
Who the deuce is this bothersome
rascal? CoflSe in.”
Tbe door swung back on its hinge*
and in walked the white robed figure
of Pius X. His Holiness was as much
amused at his reception as the Car
dinal was surprised at the visit
A Remarkable Rote.
There is at the present time In the
gardens of Mr. W. R. Armstrong, at
Ben well. England, a remarkable rose.
It is a Niphetos tea rose, and was, w#
learn from the Ceuntry Gentleman,
planted tunder glass) eighteen yeari
ago from a five-inch pot into a pre
pared border. At present it covers an
area of 1300 square feet. The bio*-
roils are large, well formed and white,
with petals beautifully tipped with
pink. Last year, in spite of the lack
of sun, 16,000 blossoms were gathered
from this rose. This year more than
4900 have already been gathered, and
It is thought that the number will b*
about 18.000.
WHEN SHE’S DANGEROUS. —
I’d face the tigreaa robbed of cubs,
But 1 wouldn’t for a farm . *
Approach the woman who a juat mad -
*tb blouse .Ieeve.forone.nn. poiU
ANOTHER “PERIL ”
Sidney—“Miss Elsie is a lovely girl.
Rodney—“Yes; say. she’s a regular
pink and white peri!."— 1 Cincinnati
Commercial-Tribune.
INFERENCE.
Toro—“No, I never see Jack any
more. We’re no longer friends ”
Dick—“Indeed? Does be owe you
money, or do you owe it to Mml —
Philadelphia Ledger. .
A BORROWER.
Harduppe—“Can you lend me $5 tet
make up a certain sum?”
Cynical Friend-“What’s the certain
sum? Five dollars?”-Towu Topics.
BREEZY.
Binks—“Don’t you think Harduppe ,
has quite a breezy way with him?”
Winks—“Yes. especially when lie
blows into your office trying to raise
tbe wind on a draft,’’-Town Topics.
STRANGE THEORIES.
Ah Ting—“The foreign devils have a
crazy idea that the earth is round.”
Oh Pong—“I could forgive that; but
they also think that »aey own it. and
allow us to live on the under side.”—
Life.
AFTER THE WAR.
“The paper says that Korea has re< m
ognized the new Republic of Panama."
“Well, I’m afraid Panama will have
hard work recognizing* Korea after
the war is over.”—Woman’s Home
Companion.
A NEW FLORA M'FLIMSEY.
Eleanor—“Have you given up socie
ty. Josephine?”
Josephine—“No; but I’ve been
bridesmaid so often lately that I’ve
nothing but bridal frocks to wear.”—
Indianapolis Journal.
THOSE STUPID QUESTIONS.
Naybor—“Is tbat a new henhouse
you’re building?”
Mr. Snappy—“No*; this is an old one
I’m building to take tbe place of the
new one 1 tore down last week.”—
Philadelphia Ledger.
WHERE IT COMES FROM.
“I wonder where they get enough
money to pay for all the wars?” said
Mrs. Dumleigb. >
“I’m not sqye, dear,” replied Dum-
leigh, “but I imagine the map publish
ers furnish it.”—Chicago News.
HOPING AGAINST HOPE.
“Your wife,” said the physician,
“will not be able to speak above a
whisper for a week or more.”
“Say. doctor.” queried tbe eager hus
band, “is there auy hope of her dis
ease becoming chronic?”—Chicago
News.
UP TO DATE.
Tbe Visitor—“It’s heartrending to
hear your baby. lie’s been crying Cor
tbe last hour.”
Tho New Mother—“Ob, yes; but it’*
a strictly scientific, hygienic, Jung ex
pansive arid non-tissue destroying
cry.”—Life.
SIZED UP.
Mrs. Bacon—"I see by this paper
that the average family in the United
8tates has four and seven-tenths per
sons.”
Mr. Bacon—“I suppose I’m the seven,
tenths In this family.”—Yonkers
Statesman.
MICROBES.
'What are the uulvereity buildings
all lighted cp for to-night?”
“They’re g.ving a reception to Pro
fessor Outrack. He has discovered a
microbe that feeds on the microbe dis
covered by Professor Dlggitup the
other day.”—Chicago Tribune.
WAGE-EARNERS.
“Brown is weak financially, isn’t
he?”
“He hasn’t much mouey, but be
gives fmpioymeut to a great many,
men.”
“Who are they?”
“Other people’s bill collectors.”—
Stray Stories.
ICE.
“Mamie, girl, that young man of
yours has been coming now for almost
a year.”
“Yes, mother.” ‘ v ?
“Isn’t it about time he was breaking
tbe ice?”
“I don’t believe he intends to break
the ice. He’s going to wear it out.”—
Puck.
WHAT MADE HIM UNHAPPY,
“You growled at cold weather?”
“Ob. yes.”
“And you’ll growl when it’s hot?”
“That's what!”
"Well, what do you reckon you’re
here for, anyhow?"
My friend,” was the reply, “that’*
jest what keeps me a'growiin’; I can’t
find oat!”—Atlanta Constitution*
