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[oldenhurstt
Walter bloomfield
J ' CHAPTER XXX. ,
I ' Continued.
: Tlblther Constance and t *X baco
paired without waitMd to hear aBy.
thing more the clei* had to tell 'There
In a private room we toond uncle Sam,
nttendedte hla wife and Dr. Herr
mann, The two latter wet* making
prcndtatlona to take their ptUcmt to
hla home, for which pugotiat a carriage
whited at the door. My Unde, who
waa lying on a conch, appeared very
depretted, and the eSpresalon of hit
eyea atrnck me evlpecullar-qnlt* Un
like anything I,tad obserVM before
Ho took not the ieaet notice of Connie
or me, bnt tdraed his face to the
wall soon afar we entered the room,
and preMdd hie band to hi* forehead
It In path. I seized the opportunity
wbllyTonnle was quietly conferring
wltt/ her sister to ask Dr. Herrmann
w/nt he thought of the ease.
-'“Mr. Truman has always overworked
hlmseir," said the doctor, “and tharj la
oomo danger of brain trouble conse
quent on the bad news ho has received i
but Itmoy very likely be avoided with
care, and quietude. Ce It tv than at
ImrjoDae vitality.” ,**»"•
• At the moment of'bur aftWal at the
hotel preparalhuis were In progreis for
getting my, undo back tq hla awn
bouse. This was not easy to do. as he
could hot be got even for one moment
do speak nr think of nnytblng but the
now* from Paris, and be seemed to re*
*ent the presence of anybody oxeept
SI* wife, though he did not an express
himself. However, Dr. Hermann and
' I with sqfflo difficulty succeeded In In
ducing him to enter the carriage and
ho itaafed for Bait Thirty-fourth
atreet. Accompanied by hla wife and
doctqv, Constance and 1 returning by
nnrthor way.
/At aoon 03 undo 8am arrived home
i no waa put to bed Id a darkened room
and loo waa applied to hi* head, the
patient submitting to theoe unpleasant
preparation! without making the leant
protest—an additional proof, If any
were necdctl, ot how completely bla
mind was absorbed in painful contem
plation of tha tregtdy which bo bad
no much feared..
After or. Herrmann had departed
mint 1 Gertrude took me aside- ”1 fear
yoacunclo Is down for a serious ill
negn.” she said. ”1 am told ho mugt
r kept very quiet, and to ensure that
will nano him myself. But ho
wearies pie and distresses himself by
begging without cessation that 1 will
go t» Pari* and take charge of—ef that
English woman's son, ord bring hlin
here. 1 would not hesitate to do co
If my hnsband were weU; but I dare
not, I will not, leave him In bis present
state. Will yon help me?"
. “This appeal, the purport of which I
could not misinterpret, alarmed me
greatly. "I would gladly go to any
part of the world oa your business,”
X answered quickly, “If only It lay in
my power to do so; and, apart from
□y love for Constance, I can think cf
nothing more gratifying than doing
nay thing to oblige you or undo Sam,
tnt I have iworn on oath that I will
never Again leavo your slater until she
la my wife, and aha la pledged to mo In
ejlnl terms.”
• Aunt Certrndo smiled faintly,
bavo already telegraphed to three of
our friends in raria," she said, "urg
ing thorn to discover and protect the
child at any cca\ and to let us know as
aoou as possible that this baa bceu
done; bnt l have not yet received any
repllflo.." -
"Von have not allowed safflclont time.
It la barely two hours alncc you were
summoned to Mills Building.”
i- “I have already asured year nneb
that If the child con be found I will
adopt It as my own. and tbat assur-
nneo hat rallied him more than any
thing else that has been said cr dene.
If only I could show him a telegram,
proving that the child is now In goad
henda, 1 think he would aoon bo him
self >ufaln.”
, *T Believe you will receive auch a
telegram some time to-day,”
"Wa will hope so." said aunt Ger-
tftl-Ij quietly. Ard having uttered
these words she returned to her hus
band's room, and I sought Constance.
CHAPTER XXXI.
at HEwroitT.
Uncle San rapidly became tv or.-? uf.
ter he returned home, and soon his i eu-
dition excited the utmost alarm. Two
renov-ned physicians exerted their
chill for the benefit of the patient, r.-l.
was never left without the attcudane
of one or other of them. Ho was said
to bo lufforlng from phrealtlc neclug:-
tls, Induced by too prolrngcd tension
tf tba faculties—an Inflated way of de
scribing the simple fact tbat his nlud
liad temporarily succumbed under the
nnrlety and grief to which It had been
subjected.
For many weeks aut t Gertrude
nuned ber husband with untiring de
votion, and In her anxiety that nothing
should be neglected or 111 done she did
much work that might well have been
left to other hands. My marriage with
Constanco was indefinitely postponed,
nnd no thought given to any natter
but the present condition of the patient,
for whom even hla pkyslclana acknowl
edged they feared the wont
nut br BaasavgMtfuft ion
Mm. FIjJji ttfte of my ancle's confi
dential secretory, was Induced by aunt
Gertrude to undertake it jouftey to
Paris for the purpose ef ItHflgl'Ug to
New York the young boy whose wei‘-
fate seemed more then all else td bh-
|hge my unde's lucid moments. Mean
while teiegramt arrived assuring us
that the child was well and In good
himds, which assurances Word duly
conveyed td the patient cn'wbom they
appeared to have a beneficial effect.
Week after week passed away, and
still tho patient hovered uncertainly
between life nnd death. Mr*. Fisk
safely returned to New York with her
Infant charge, a handsome, hrighbejWtf,
Intelligent boy ot Oxcebdldg vivacity,
happily Ignorant Of hla mother's fate
and hla father’s danger. The little
stranger, Instead of being regarded rift
an unwelcome addition th toy uncle's
family, a* might not unreasonably
bare been expected, wns received by
aant Gertrude with the tenderest toll,
slderatjon, and everything heedful for
bis weil-heing Whs provided. By sun
dry apparently trivial but really pro
foundly significant words and acta
sunt Gertrude soon shotted that the
newcomer had found a place no less In
hsr heart than In her house. Though
my uncle was informed of the arrival
of tho boy tho doctors for the present
forbade the child being presented tc
their patient-. ’The nature of my no
cle'i business was sacb that It neces
sarily came to a standstill as socn no
hla direction of It ceased—s direction
which hitherto be had never failed to
exercise, personally when in NOW York
City, and telegraphically when absent
therefrom. Mr. Fisk was regular In
bis attendance every morning at my
UBcle's house, and never failed to re
port the patient's condition to a host of
his Inquiring friends.
'And thus November and tke greater
part of December passed away, tho
spirit* of the littk) household in Enst
Thirty-fourth street being raised one
day only to bo dasbed the next, accord
ing to tlie changeable condition of the
patient, whose malady once or twice
touched a point of extreme danger. But
at the near approach of Christmas,
when New York City lay covered with
a thick mantle of anew and the sky
was none the less clear because the
temperature was extremely cold and
Icicle* ot prodigious length depended
from parapet and casement, the pa
tient took a very decided turn for the
better. Ho talked less and acre ra
tionally, and was generally calmer,
and he flept better and partook of
more nourishment.
Though my uncle's medical advisors
were not, at the first appearance ef
these signs, assured they portended a
favorable Issue, they did not hesitate
to recogntso In tho good symptoms, af
ter they had endured for soma days un
abated, tho beginning of complete re
covery.
And so, Indeed, It appeared. By the
middle of January uncle Sam hod co
far recovered that ho was permitted to
alt by tho fire In his room, and there
ono day ho dispassionately discussed
with mo the tragedy which to quote
his own words, had "thrown him oil
bln balance." Ills wife’s loving care
ot tho boy familiarly known as "tho
cardinal" occasioned him much satis-
faction, which he gratefully acknowl
edged In various way, and It Is to that
circumstance I have always attributed,
more than to all else besides, bU com
plete recovery. At this Juncture “the
cardinal" was taken every morning by
annt Gertrude Into tho patient’s room,
where he wns permitted to frisk nbout
like n epanlcl at hla father's feet, aril
his gambols and his pertinent replica
questions which he coull not possi
bly understand amused and delighted
everybody present.
In the early stages of the patient's
convalescence It was customary for
Connie and no to read to hlu la turn
Tho reading wns alwayc selected by
uaela Sara, ard consisted for tho most
part of tho dally papera r.nd current
fiction. Ono Coy I ventured to Inquire
ho would care to listen to some 11
erataro cf a higher standard—a eholro
work by ono of the great poets, for In
stance.
‘No. ro," sail rn:ie Sam. "not for
tho world. 1 liko poetry too well."
I confessed riy Inability to under-
otand this roily.
■Tocto.” remarked rnclo San,
pitiable handful of creatures. Their
divine gifts are compensated by pow-
crlesecess to cope with the manifold
treacheries ot-mnnkind, and consequent
starvation and misery, and though by
come strange accident ouc of the tribe
not leng ego slipped Into the House of
Lords, that was a blunder which will
not in- repeated; the majority gravitate
quite unt'jraUy to the workhouse. 1
loro poetry, bnt car never read It with
out U17 heart achlug for ibe poor
wretch who expends. his brain power
profltlessly weaving it. No. uo. Er
nest; open the Trumpeter and tell ne
whether the Rothschilds have succeed-
In floating that loan for tho Ats-
trlan Government.”
Slowly but surely tho patient re
gained strength, but February was al
most silent before tbe do-tors would
auction bis removal to Newport. Not
until after be wit able to gp about the
house unaided did the ponnaaent
changes wrought In him by tba lUnes*
through which he bad pasted becomt
tally apparent, and then it ttfi« lew
that hit Ohce tight brown fair had b*>
Mrn» almost entirely grey, that the*
went line* In hfa fare tthlefi liiul net
been objjnffii fafShe bis ltWehr, ant)
that hi; step was n trifle (lower ant"
leas elastic than of old. I thought hli
cheerfulness and his trait ejillcisi
had eacaped uhdffeetcft Ml he sur-
r fd bib tthe morning by Informing
friend, Mrltfifign^erg, In my preo-
*£££, tbat It was Cu Intention as soon
as ho returned from Newport to closa
his speculative business affairs, and da-
vote hla remaining day* to safeguard
ing such dollars fis ho had already no-
qhirbdi leaving the ptirsriit 8f Wealth td
yljhdgpv gr Bio* drlioBt splriti.
liy tlie opening Of March uncle gam'd
family—In which, or course; I include
myself, for long before this time I was
regarded By everybody as belonging
tberhto-w#r*l conifortlihly settled In
his villa at Newport, Rhode Island,
where It was thought the ocean breezea
and continued withdrawal from busi
ness cares might restore him to bis for
mer condition of mental nnd physical
vigor.
Chatham Villa la one rf tbe Dinner-
oils artistic* slimmer bailees Which
abound In the southern portion ot
Rhode Island, and stands id hxteuslrO
pleasure gfdthldi tvbriookidg Karra*
ghnsett Bay; As yet the weather waa
very cold for living In such ad oped sit
uation, bnt the sky was almost always
dear and Bright, olid scarcely a day
Of the scvfih weeks that wo remained
on the Isladd passed without Con*
stance and me, thickly clad with furs,
taking an Invigorating walk. In which
exercises we were sometimes accom
panied by uncle au<l aunt, the former
of whom would point out where tbo
SOOO British troops and their Hessian
mercenaries were quartered during tba
American Revolution, and the wastes
where once flourished the fine groves
which they cut down for fuel; and be
would sometimes further describe how
my codUtrymcd iirtd destroyed dearly
SCO of the houses add ail the shipping
tiled Uarbored there.
Althongh, all things considered,
must always look back upon my first
sojourn at Newport with much gratifi
cation—Indeed It could hardly bo oth
erwise, for I enjoyed the almost unin
terrupted company of Constance whllo
1 was there—I wna rejoiced as tho pe
riod fixed for our stay drew towards Its
close, and that for tbe best of all pas
sible reasons,
Before leaving New York It bad been
arranged that Constance add t were to
be married at a Presbyterian church
od Fifth avenue the first day of May,
and we were to return to the city ono
week prior to that event. In accord
ance with the wish of everybody con
cerned, the ceremony was to be of tho
simplest possible character, and an
hour after Its accomplishment we were
to leave for Saratoga, where a suite of
rooms had been engaged for me at tbe
Grand Union Hotel.
Preoccupied as 1 wna with the antici
pation of ny approaching happiness, I
could never forget my father, nnd In
my more reflectlvo moments wns dis
turbed at hearing no nows of him,
either directly or Indirectly, but I could
not think of any better way of amend
ing the unfortunate rupture between
us than that which Constance had pro
posed—a plan not yet practicable. In
creasing my already great tmpatlpuco
with the slow-moving hours.
Tho eve of cur return to Now York
at length arrived. April wns drawing
to Ita close, and the weather waa so
genial that we Sat with comfort In a
group by the opened glass doors which
lend on to the veranda tbat overlook*
the bay. Uncle Sam and I were amok-
Ing, a habit which by long use our re
spective ladles had grown to tolerate
at all sorts of unseasonable times nnd
place*. Aunt Gertrude wns engaged
working a monogram In silken charac
ters on n strnnge-looklng purse of flno
network which she had designed for
her slater, while flic latter nestled nt
my side wistfully turning over an al
bum of photograph*. "The cardinal"
had Just been carried off to bed by hla
nurse, after amusing us for ten min
utes by nn exhibition of his precocity,
tils customary evening privilege. Un
cle Sam was In high spirits, and morn
like hla former self than at any tlmn
silica hla Illness. After Intently ob
serving bis wife’s work for some min
utes (my auut had completed the C und
was now outlining a T. not an M), ho
suddenly exclaimed: “Ernest, you art
n lucky dog,” to which Inelegant asser
tion I signified my assent, at tho same
time taking Connie's band In mine.
•Scores of English lords, heavily
weighted with titles and debts, sigh »
vatu for nn achievement such ae
yours," continued uncle Sam. “Wht*
a pity It Is that man. always quick to
perceive his misfortunes, Is so fre
quently blind to the good things which
fall to Ids share!"
That will uevor be my case," l ob
served.
To le continued.
JAPANESE WOMEN SMOKE.
Smoking Is almost a universal cus*
tom among Japaneae women. The
Empress uses a silver pipe, with a stem
tan Inches long. Tbe bowl Is small—
In fact) duly a quantity of tobacco suf
ficient to give the Smokef twd Ot three
wblffS tan be put Into It: Theit the
ashed are. knocked out and the pipe
It Carefully cleaned before' ft Is re
filled: To on American this form bf
smoking seems to Involve too much
work. A pipe Is cleaned many tiroes
In the course of an afternoon. The
Japanese ttbrd for smoking means, lit
erally, “drinking tobitUM"
GIRDLES.
Girdles grow higher and higher, and
the pointed waist line has practically
disappeared. The summer girl makes
a five-inch ribbon, of soft texture and
two yards In length. Into a girdle thus:
Bbe lays it flat acroas tbe front, de
fining s perfectly round effect at the
waist line, Then she crosses It In tbe
back, brings It around to tbs front,
falsing It above the Brat fold of ribbon,
almost under the bust nnd slightly to
the right. She plus it securely to ber
bodice with safety pins. Then she
makes a long narrow loop and two
ends, tbe loop to atand diagonally erect
across tbe front of tbe bodice, the
ends to fall below tbe wnlit line.
A SEASONABLE FAD.
Black shiny leather Is another of (ho
summer girl’s fads. Her newest shoes
are of patent kid. They arc as shiny
as tbe patent leather she used to wenr,
only they have the advantngc over the
bid patent leather that they never
Crack, Thl* shiny patent kid Is nmde
up In pumpa or Oxfords. The newest
Oxford has but two eyelets ou each
side, and la laced with wide, black,
ribbons.
Very frequently, when the shiny
black shoe la worn, a belt of the same
brilliant black leather encircles the
•ummer girl’s slender waist, nnd In
ber hand she carries a pocketbook of
tho same glistening black leather.—
Woman’s Home Companion.
THE TIBETAN BELLE.
The young lady “In society" In Tibet
studies tbe fashions ss keenly os her
London counterpart, says The Tntlcr,
but with less to worry ber, as they
seldom change. Trains do not trouble
ber, nor tho manipulation of them In
crowded assemblies; bnt below her util
itarian abort skirt ahe takes out the de
ficiency In superfluous yards of trous
ers. Her heart, however, Is In ber
headgear, wbleb la fearfully and won
derfully embroidered wltb Jewels and
silver ornaments, bat this la modestly
flat, not n built-up creation like the
Western bat—a mere strip of material
coming down to a point between the
eyebrows In front nnd reaching to ber
waist behind. The Tibetan belle Is
very particular nbout ber hair, too,
wbleb she wears In little pleats, beauti
fully braided.
Ije may hatb bo doubt who his ref-
respondent Is. .
To keep ber own room In Order.
To tell a man when she sees him
and waste no time with those who are
not worthy the name. °*
To make a good home for some man.
-^Morning Telegram.
— %
BEAUTY DONTS.
Don’t become too stout. Altb ren
pluiuftoeiS bf contour Is l*y no mean*
unbecoming, CorpOlenee Is a thing to be
avoided.
Don’t suppose that yon edh ovcr-ln-
dulge In fattening foods oml take little
exercise oud yet keep delicate propor-
tfon'f: ’
Don’t d'efidlfi less than two hours
dally to exereise--eilher taken In tho
form ot housework, ot ill riding, golfing
or walking. Any one who ha* a ten
dency to stoutness can keep the fiend
obesity at bay by entering heartily Into
outdoor pastimes.
Don't think any kind of exercise,
taken In any kind of a way, Is going
to help matters. Exercise, to be valua
ble, must bs moderate, systematic and
babftunl.
Don't look for n fair, pure complexion
reflected from your mirror If you have
more flesh than belongs to you; you
will see a purplish paste tinge In your
cheeks.
Don’t eat less because you are fat,
but gvold highly seasoned food, all
thick soups, pork, venl, sardines, po
tatoes. pens, corn, macaroni, rice, fried
food of every description nnd pastry.
Don't be content with n dally cold
sponge hath; It Is not sufficient. A
douche Is better or a swim In cold'
water, followed by a brisk friction
with crash towels.
Don't spend your days nnd nlghta In
close, unvcmdntcd rooms.
Don't, however, try to get so thin
that you are evanescent, splrltuelle, a
fragile, melting thing that flits, hovert,
floats, simpers and vanishes.
"WHY DO YOU WEEP!” * r
"Why do you weep, my little lad!”
Toe kind schoolma’am inquired.
"Oh, miss, It makes me feel no bad
To see the wheels all tired.
—Pittsburg Leader.
AN EAR SPLITTER. ■>
"We got a dandy college yell now.”
“What la It!"
"We give four Russian battleships, a
alss-boom-ah aud then two Jap geucr
als.”—Puck.
THE FIRST QUALIFICATION.
"The tailor ought to be ft good poli
tician.” ’
"Why?"
"Because he Is so successful nt but-.-
ton-holing.”—Detroit Free Press.
N
“8be did not wish to be nn old maldi
and stilt She detested tbe society of
men.” >.
“How did she manager’
"She married a: clubman/’—l?ziusloii
Post v. v dtf
-TURNED THE CORNER.
Cere U the Ileal Thine.
A prominent colonial planter, well
bred (28), affectionate, excellent char*
actor, healthy, good, tall, line looking,
broad instruction, honorific gradflX
highest European standing, owning un
developed properties of immense wortlt,
ishes speedy marriage with wealthy,
independent young lady or widow, Iot.
ing aud ambitious, willing to beco ro
millionaire by investing a moderate
starting capital In her husband's e*
tates; rtrlctly confidential; atate partlc*
ulan —New York Herald.
North America was Hrst discovered
by Sebastian Cabot, a Venetian, In tho
sac vice of England. In 1497*
A JUDICIOUS MOTIIER.
A practical as well as an Ideal ays-
tem which keeps the nuroery from be
ing overcrowded with toys, Is sure to
be tho tendency of yuletldc courtesy—
and also preserves the toys from the
breakages consequent upon such over
crowding. This Judicious mother docs
not tell the children her scheme. She
•elects from among the mass of toys a
number which are to be laid aside for
some future time.
A large box in the attic or the upper
shelf of some closet may be a store
house for many of these treasures.
There they will rest unharmed until
the playthings In the nursery become
an old atory, when they In their turn
are relegated to the upper shelf and
the new toys appear.
When the children have been con
fined to the house by a storm, or, more
trying still, to the nursery by some ail
ment that makes life seem dreary to
their baby eyes, behold mamma ap
pears with her reserve fund and out-
of-doors allurements and indoor ail
ments are forgotten in the Joy of new
possessions.—Philadelphia Inquirer,
ALL GIRLS SHOULD KNOW
To make good bread.
To cook all kinds of meat, vegeta
bles and fruits.
To make the nicest buckwheat cakes
in the world.
To cut and make her own dresses.
To Oare for milk and make good
butter.
To sweep a room and never neglect
the corners or the spaces behind the
doors.
To make beds fit for a king to sleep
(n.
To read and enjoy the papers of tbe
week, especially those published for
farmers.
To get ready for company if mother
is away from home or unable for any
reason to do it herself.
To read and speak in public if called
upon.
To be well enough posted in the ev
eryday doings of the world to talk or
write about them whenever necessary.
To read good books and to know
them when she sees them. »
To milk a cow if help Is short or
work progressing.
To harness a horse and drive it any
where.
To write a letter and sign her name
to it so that no matter who receives it
Amethysts and topazes arc tbe favor
ite day Jewels.
Have at feost one sheer China silk
blouse for comfort.
Garlands of chiffon flowers arc used
to trim muslin gowns.
Where but one parasol Is possible,
dark green Is a safe choice.
Belts of white kid most correctly
flnb% th- all-white costume.
Some very smart separate skirts sro
of pongee, exquisitely tailored.
Envelope purses of suede, closing
with a flap, pre the approved kind.
There is a vogue of paradise plumes
in brilliant green, orange and red.
Streamers of velvet float from tho
picture hats to be worn nt gardcu par*
ties.
One sees the narrowest of Dresden
ribbons cross over the crowus of flower
hats.
Moire foulards in gold browns and
nsh grays make some charming little
frocks.
For the long-necked woman those
high turnover embroidered collnrt are
n boon.
A gown of yellow linen embroidered
with great black flowers invites a sec
ond look.
Most of the inexpensive fabrics are
softer and silkier this year than ever
before.
A big blue rose—starch blue, they
call it—is the latest hallmark of Pa
risian millinery.
A kimona of flesh silk crepe is em
broidered all over with tiny black and
bite silk swallows.
Many well-gowned women ore wear
ing smartly cut lineu skirts aud tall*
ored blouses for morning.
If it Isn’t a fluffy gown, it mast be
a snug tailored affair, with tight
sleeves and buttons up the front.
Just a delicate touch of gold, having
no suggestion of tawdriness, Is per
ceptible here and there in modish
trimmings.
Very nobby nre tbe deep hem turn
overs, embroidered in colors and worn
with a soft knotted tie of silk match
ing the embroidery.
We have Wen spared the lottuae and
potato hat, as yet, although criukly,
shaded lettuce would be as pratty as
some of the trimmings in use.
There will be choice of tbe jMnrie
Antionette sleeve, tight to the’elbow
and then spreading in a ruffle, or the
lcg-o’*mutton sleeve, with great i shoul
der fulness. *
Iowa's Corn Crop.
Professor I*. G. Holden, of Iowa; has
bceu preaching the gospel of scientific
com planting and growing, and as a
result he says that tbe crop in that
State alone will be increased by. about
7.000,000 bushels.
To Kill Mosquitoes.
Baron Taillac, of Astoria. L. I., who
introduced the phu-lo plnnt from tbe
Tonquin country, in China, which, he
ays. will kill mosquitoes, is up to his,
eyes in business, so far as answering
inquiries is concerned.
CAESAR AMENDED.
Bliss Breezy—"Well, Mr. Ilarknway.
now tbat you have Inspected me thor
oughly, what have you to say?”
Mr. H.—All I can soy. Miss Itr.wzy,
A* T came, I saw, you conquered.’V'—
Brooklyn Life.
* BITS OF NONSENSE.
He—"Like all young men, I have my'
faults.*'
She—"Yes, Mr. £oodlelgli. but ther
are so insignificant -that no self-re
specting gjirl would feel Justified in
marrying you to reform you."
FORETHOUGHT. *
Patient—"Doctor, I’ll give you a thou
sand If you’ll get me well without op
erating/*
Doctor—"No! I would lose more
money in the long run, because tlilsa
woulc' establish a precedent.”—Life.
A^ DIFFERENCE.
Knowtcr—".After all. ’Truth Is
stranger than fltX|on.’ you know.”
Newitt—"It may 4> e stranger, but it
Isn’t as successful, ^ou never hear
of truth going Into Tt^wentieth edi
tion In six months.’ -Philadelphia
Press.
EASY.
Mrs. Benton Holme — ’ Doctor, nr
husband’s heart beats very weakly.”
Dr. Phil Graves — "I’ll soon stor
that*’—New York Evening Mall.
WILFULLY MISUNDERSTOOD.
"They're in reduced circumstances,
of course, but tbeir fumlly is a very old
one and proud, even if tbey have lota
of debts. They date back to the time
of William the Conqueror."
"The debts, you mean? I don’t doubt
that."—Philadelphia Press.
THEY WERE MUCH ALIKE. *
Wife—"I have about made up my
mind, John, that when I married you
I married a fool."
Husband—"That reminds me of a re
mark you made Just before we were
married. You remember that you said
it wou!<^ be hard to find two people
more alike than you aud I?”—Buffalo
Commercial.
FRIENDLY CRITICISM.
Amateur Actor (to friend)—"What
did you think of my Hamlet, Charley V”
Dear Friend—"Immense! In one part
of the play you were equal to Irving.”
Amateur Actor— 1 "In what part wag
that, Charley?"
Dear Frieud—"Where Polouius gives
his parting advice to Laertes.”
Amateur Actor—"I was behind tho
scenes.”
Dear Friend-"So is Irving."
HE WAS SO SOLICITOUS.
"Is your seat comfortable, dear?" bo
asked, when they had got settled in
the fheatre.
"Yes, it is very nice,” said the wife
smiling pleasantly.
"Feel any draught, dear?”
"Not a particle.”
“No big hats in front of you, dear}"
"Not one.”
"No posts In the way?”
"No; I’n very comfortable."
"Then change seats with me, dear!”—
Yonkers Statesman.