Newspaper Page Text
THE VIENNA PROGRESS. SEPTEMBER 13,1900.
vx
Reflections of a Bachelor.
New York Press.
There is no good husband but a
dead husband.
The more a woman looks in a
mirror the less she sees herself.
A woman’s idea of perfeot misery
is to be sea siok on her wedding
tour.
Down in her heart every womun
believeB her feet are littler than her
footprints.
Every woman in her heart longs
to have men refer to her as a “soul
less flirt.”
No woman should think of mar-
rying until she acquires a forgiving
disposition.
All girls (even the blind.ones)
have some time been told that they
had fine eyes.
Right after you’ have kissed a
girl she tells you to stop with her
mouth all puckered up.
No man would be much surprised
if all the Women would begin to
purr when they felt comfortable.
A woman can generally marry
the one she pleases, but she can’t
always please the one she marries.
A man never wants to marry a
woman near so much after he has
seen her piok her teeth with a hair
pin.
Women probably like babies be
cause. they cry so much without
knbwing what is the matter with
them.
You can get the truth out of a
woman by flattering her, but to get
it'out of a man you have to get him
soared.
' If a woman couldn’t cry because
her husband was bad to her she
would probably cry because he was
so good.
’ Women are a lot.like turkeys;
you could never convince a turkey
that it would look better with its
head off.
The reason why widows are so
popular is beoause they always look
like they knew the men were lead
ing them.
The women have always got a lot
of summer"stories about women
who were sunstruok while cooking
in the kitchen".
Women are useful in one way ;
the average man would never know
be had some of his faults if it
weren’t for his wife.
Men who marry their first love
generally end by being about as
happy as those that win the first
time they play poker.
Every woman whose husband can
never pay his debts believes the
world will realize some time what a
great man she married.
Down in her heart every woman
has an idea that the reason why an
old bachelor doesn’t get married is'
because he isn’t living as he ought to
Lots of women go through life
thinking that all the other people
think they are artistic simply be
cause they keep their hair mussed
up.
The ogly difference between a
married man and a man sitting in
fresh paint is that the man sitting
in the paint generally doesn’t know
it.
Half tho time when you hear a
man calling another man a “hog,’’
it is only because the second man
has got what the first man would
get if he could.
When you hear a woman say she
believes in the new stylo of going
to church with no hat on, you may
know some man has told her she
has “glorious hair.”
Every woman imagines that Slime
thing about her is "wonderful.”
Either she has ^wonderful” hair or
eyes, or else she has “wonderful”
talent for something.
Georgia has given 
