Newspaper Page Text
ll THE LINCOLNTON NEWS
VOLUME VII. NUMBER 26 .
English landlordism has run its
'and has fallen into almost hopeless
- decay.
| The eleven dairy states contain more
than one-half of the cattle in the United
States,
Ftom thirteen to forty-twb States in a
Century isn’t a bad growth for a infant
Republic .
; _
■ Russia stands third in importance, so
far as relates to its naval strength, among
the European Powers.
During the last year the sum total of
educational gifts in this country was
nearly five million dollars.
There is no such a thing in this coun¬
try, asserts the Atlanta Constitution, as a
postmistress. When a lady runs a jiost
office she is a postmaster or nothing.
A company at Brussels proposes to
build a railroad from the head of navi¬
gation on the Congo to Stanley Pool, a
distance of 7000 miles in the interior of
Africa.
i Yankee-mania (following the ways
and customs of Americans) is, according
to the New Y’ork Times, as much of a
disease in England as anglo-mauia is in
America.
______
| Royalty has its troubles. Twenty
princes and princesses belonging to the
reigning families of Lnroje have beeu
under treatment for mental disorders
during the past few years.
Even Turkey moves. Half a century
ago it was considered disgraceful for a
Turkish woman to know how to read.
Now, tbe Sultan himself has established
two schools for girls in Constantinople.
“ Interurban is a word coming into use
in toe West as to railroad rates between
cities. It is an odd piece of word¬
making, observes the Boston Transcript ,
but not so much so as “frivol” the verb
descriptive of being frivolous, which the
New Y’ork Herald is trying to force into
use.
A nailless horseshoe has been invented
in England. The shoe is so adapted to
toe foot that a driver can put one on in
three minutes. It pinches the edge of
toe hoof at certain points, and is held
on in this way, no nails being driven
into the hoof. The invention saves time
■fa shoeing and,avoids its perils. It is just
as serviceable as the old-fashioned way.
Stocks which the late James C. Flood,
toe California miner-millionaire, in
bonan a days sold for $900 per share are
now kicking around at $5 and $8. The
two mine? that paid $46,000,000 in
dividends are now consolidated into one.
,Tbb stock has been as low as $2 per
share, and now is only $8. For about
two years it has paid a half-dollar
dividend every month.
The grand jury at Lockport, N. Y'.,
recently indicted James' Mayne. a farmer
in the town of Hartland, for neglecting
to remove and destroy diseased peech
trees. This was the first indictment of
the kind ever presented in the State, and
the case, if tried, would test the validity
of the law. The Commissioners ap¬
pointed by the law inspected Mayne’s
trees and found them diseased with the
yellows.
When asked whether the Union Jacks
and the ensigns of the Navy would have
four new stars added in recognition of
toe four new States of the Union,
Captain Ramsay, Commandant of the
Brooklyn Navy Ya'd, said: “The flags
of the Navy will not be changed to re¬
present the four new States by star
until the final ratification of the act of
Congress is made. It is not likely that
new flags will be made, but the four
stars will be added to the Union Jack
and the blue field of the ensign.”
Whale’s milk.is the latest panacea for
scrofulous diseases. It sells in the form of
“whaloid,” a condensed form of toe
article. So far London is the only place
where it is obtainable. One of Queen
Victoria’s ingenious subjects has a whale
dairy, consisting of one animal, which
he keeps in a tank browsing on seaweed.
At milking time toe water is drawn off
and the pretty aairy maid with her pail
and stool ascends a platform and ap¬
propriates in the usual fashion the daily
output of the cetaceous lacteal. The
discovery suggests an illimitable field for
courageous capital to make an investment
—a field boundless as old ocean itself.
Mrs. Nancy Clark Marshall Winkle
Smith Frisbee McGregor Rawlins, a rich
and somewhat masculine woman, who
owns valuable cattle and timber lands
in Montana and Oregon, has lately
reached toe extreme Scriptural limit of
mayrying chronicled of her sex, by tak
inn unto herself her seventh husband.
She went to San Francisco, over tbe
plains, in 1849, and toe uncertainties of
border life have enabled her to gratify
her taste for marital change without re¬
sort to divorce. Every one of her hus¬
bands was dead before another took his
place. One wa3 lost in a mountain
snow-storm, another was killed by Indi
ans, and a bucking-horse assisted an¬
other out of toe world. Husband No.
T is twenty-eight years old. He was
raised by the much- widowed woman,
and calls her “Mamma."
DEVOTED TO THE INTEREST OF* LINCOLN COUNTY.
YESTERDAY.
Yesterday It dead
21 Re? at rest, —■<
No breathing stirs
The white-robed breast;
The groans and sobbing
Are hushed at last,
! Thanks be to Heaven)
Such pains are past.
Book dot to rouSe
Its Unquiet ghost;
Conjure no phantom
Of what is lost;
Come away softly,
And make no moan,
Leaving thy perished hope
Dead and alone.
—Zoe Dana Underhill, in Scribner.
BETWEEN TWO HOBNS
BVSARAH ?. PlUTCBARDi
‘I tell you, Sussan Swing,” said Cap
tain Rose, ‘there ain’t a man that lives
between the Two Horns as would let his
boy not bigger than your n go out m a
boat to-day. Don t you do it. Tain’t
no kina of weather for that slip of a lad
to go foolin with them big billows as
sweeps around old Dull Head. Why,
look yourself, woman. You can see
them more'n four miles away dashing
and lashing the shore.
As Captain Rose spoke he pointed
with his right hand in the direction of
one of the two headlands between which
Dell Haven lay.
“And no dory in the harbor” he con
W he t attht
(pointing toward the headland
row-locks out and hide toe oars if he
won’t mind without you doin’ it. ” '
I can t bear to do it,” said Mrs.
pointed Swmg. He Richard will be so disap
set his iobster pots yester
his day, and he hasn’t slept any all night in
them. eagerness Don’t to go out early and haul
Saturdpy and you see, whole Captain coaches Rose,it’s
two full of
summer boarders came iast mghtto the
Bright big Head House and he can get a
price for his lobsters to-day. My
poor Dick has worked so hard making
toe lobster pote himself, and it seems
like cutting off the boy s reward to say
you shant t go to him.
• S pose you do feel weakish bout it,
Susan; but you don’t want that ere boat
to be picked up adrift and no boy in it,
do ye?”
“You know I don’t, Captain Rose,”
she said. “If I hadn’t loved him do you
think I’d get up before daylight to see
the lad off :”
“Hush,” said the Captain. “Here he
comes, and he’s fastening his straw hat
to his buttons. He sees there is wind
enough ahead.”
It was a morning in June, ana the sun
was not yet risen, but the glory of his
coming was m the east and on the sea.
As he came d own the pier, toe oars on
his shoulder, and securing his straw hat
by a atnng to his jacket, the old Captain
said: “He’s a fine lad, Dick is, and well
worth the saving.”
“Good morning, Captain Ross,” called
out Rmhard. “Good for lobsters, do
you think?”
“Better for lobsters than ’tis for boys,»
ejaculated the Captain removing his
broad brown hands from his pocket and
laying one the of them on the lad’s shoulder
as soon as latter came within touch
ing distance. “I say, Dick Swing, that
you are not going out in that cockle shell
ef your’n this morning,” he announced.
“I certainly am, Captain Rose,” re
turned toe boy. “Its a little rough,
but like as not the wind will come right
around before I get half way to the
kage f and I should think you would
know better than to scare my little
* lot of extra courage about me that
I can’t exactly show you unless you
come with me.”
This he said looking out to sea, for he
4id not feel like looking either at his
mother or Captain Rose.
“Dick,” said Mrs Swing, approaching
toe pier’s edge as the owner of the little
boat proceeded to bestow his lunch
basket and extras under the bow.
“Well, mother,” returned Richard,
looking “I wish up. would
you not go,” she said,
ber tones full of beseeching.
“Why, mother? Do you want my
seven new lobster pots to be carried off
to sea?” he asked. “How could you
have the heart to ask me? If this wind
keejos -” on blowing I ahall lose them every
one
“That’s true,” ejaculated Captain
Rose. “I never thought of that. It’s
just right, this wind is, to drag them off,
hut you never c&n haul them in alone.
You’ll ,be sure to be dragged over
board.”
“No, I shan’t. Come along with me
if you want to help,” laughed Richard.
before “Humph! I should sink that craft
Captain; we “though got out of harbor,” said toe
if I wasn’t so heavy I
would go.’’ Captain Rose weighed
trifle less than three hundred pounds,
and had left toe sea after fifty years of
faithful service.
Not another person was in sight.
“I’ll tell you what I’ll do,” said the
Captain. “If you insist on going, I’ll
stop on my way up and ask Captain
Danforth to look out for you, and if he
thinks you’re getting into trouble to
sail after you.”
“Thank you, Captain.”
“Dick," said his mother, “can’t you
let the lobster pots go?”
“Couldn’t possibly,” smiled the boy.
“Could you have the heart to ask
Will you cast meoff?” he called a
lator.
“Wait a minute,” exclaimed Mrs.
topmost and leaned layer of logs though forming the wharf,
over as to speak
fidentially to said her his son. mother,
“Dick,” “hold
Tm coming,” and into the boat
dropped toe before Captain either Richard Captain in the Rose
dock or
had knowledge of her intention.
“What under the sun, mother,”
thebqy, “I’m going “doyou with mean?” Dick,
you, to
you from falling overboard when
i haul in,” and shp back seated herself in
I toe stern, calling “We depend as the tide
boat out, on you,
tain Rose, to send after us if we—if
UNCOLNION, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, MAY 3, 1889.
gets too rough,” she gasped, with s
dash of spray in her face.
ly knew why.
Of all the womeB in Dell Haven, from
the eldest to the youngest, Mrs. Swing
most feared the sea. fo live beside.it,
to watch its every mood delighted her,
r° li Ure ou Y f3r P leasare 8he
!L VGr kD ,? Wn t t0 do ',
whl“ss, a ’srj-; .s;:™ v ” w
concealed as much as possible her
iety for him. had
Richard was not selfish, and he
imagined what his mother was at that
It'
Just as the boat got well into the toil
of the waves the sun arose, shedding
suc h briilance on the waters that Mrs
Sw jng. who s.,at facing it, was dazzled
and well nigh failed tosee in time a gill
ne t into which the boat was running.
“See any boat ahead, mother?’’ ques
tioned Richard. “You must keep a
good look out for me. I’ve got my
grounds ranges right and can fetch the lobster
every time.”
<<j g j t f ar p> questioned his mother
shudderingly.
“Not very; just outside Dull Head. I
reckon we’ll fetch it,” dipping his oars
for a f uU stroke and then letting the
boat slide to the summit of a
wave, a trick he had caught from Captain
^DeU HaS^ 11 ’
™%£* Evln RteMTnced‘sidS ilbfonceafea Anxiety
more than once with
a s the long billows came tumbling on,
and just then getting a glimpse blanched of his
mother’s face beheld it so with
terror of the sea that it seemed to him
his mother was no longer S in toe boat
with him
“Dick,” she gasped as his oar missed
stroke and sent the spray over toe boat,
“Dick, I’m afraid to go on. ”
]) ic k glanced backward. He had
pu i, ed about a mile from shore and was
midway between the two headlands
familiarly Head surrounded spoken of as the horns. Dull
was by an even accumu
lating mass of breakers, onlts and Bright Head
caught the see precipitous sides,
sending foams'and it backward in fountains of
"1 ivo the four miles that lav 1 hp
tween the t points were rolling mUes
of Sitrin/with billow ■
n/t his face danprr landward Richard
had fuUv felt the
Now toe lad could not repress a shud
der as he said: “I don’t beReve I could
find the buoys in such a sea, and nobody
could haul the pots. I believe I’ll
put about.”
“Oh, do! O Richard, there comes an
aw ini one!” and Mrs. Swing slipped
down from her seat into the bottom of
the boat and hid her face from the on
coming wave
Richard gave a mighty pull at the
oars to keep the boat head on, and it
TO de that ware in safety only to meet
new ones, into whose depths the tiny
sheil rolled to he completely hidden from
the sight of two men who were standing
out on the Dell Haven pier.
One was Hezekiah D^forth, the other
was “If Captain Rose. * sight
help them,” there was only Captfin a tug in Rose° to
“Why didn’t groaned
vou dun a little common
sense into the woman if she didn’t take
any naturally,” scolded Captain Iian
forth, “or shut her and the boy up
so me where?.”
“I told her, but I declare when I was
young I could have brought down them
oars in half the time it takes Jim to
going on. There’s nothing else to do.
I never in all my life saw a time when
there wasn't a sail in sight * * *
The boat’s gone! No! There it comes
up Suddenly again!”
a cry for a helping hand was
raised among the bystanders, and will
ing hearts went forth from the land.
“Every second tells. It’s a a race for
life?” called out Captain Danforth.
“Jim, you’d better get in. You’re
strong ; if one of us tuckers out you can
take hold."
All ready lay the boat, a dark green
surf boat, a boat that could stand heavy
seas, and the two men and boy who had
nobly volunteered were not long in start
ing off.
“Success to you. Fetch ’em back
alive?” called out Captain Rose.
All at once the pier at Dell
seeemed had thronged spread that with Mrs. people. Swing
| news
Richard were out alone on toe sea.
As they watched the dim, dark
now rising upon the swelling waters
as quickly vanishing from sight, not
of the little throng but knew ‘he
of the tiny boat. With breathless
ness they watched the surf boat as
two rowers stood at the oar urging
onward.
“It’s down the harbor now.
: catching think it. It’s an awful wind for
Do you they’re gaining on ’em
That mite of a boat will never live
they heard get they there,” were some of remarks
As for as passed Rose on.
j Captain he went
up the hill into the town, climbed
the belfry of Dell Haven church, as
up as he could th! go, and watched
a spy-glass distance progress of the
speck helpers in the far behind. and toe
so
After a few minutes he realized
, utmost, Captain Danforth, although th! doing
could not reach periled
i„ time to save them and he said to
self:
1 “See here, Dolly, ” he said, “can
I look through here aud keep sharp
No, you run-you can go quicker’n
can,” and the Captain scribbled a
sage on the back of an evelope. and
; ing it her bade her make haste to
telegraph office. “Y'ou tell
Blake It’s to save a life and it must K
ahead of everything.” did need
Dolly Rose not to toe be told
twice. She ran every step of way,
and flushed rushing and into cried toe out: telegraph
“Mr. eager here, send this
Blake,
Richard Swing and his mother are
I to drown, and it’s to save theml"
The operator took the old envelope and
read;
search.of small fis-asg? boat—woman and Lory £& m
6£E Dell can’t Haven last three lcirg miles; going Jouv against Rotas. the '
wind; -
.. A11 ri jf ght 4 „ gaid the operator, click!*,
at is achine for a minute done. or two^
and then exclaiming: “It’s Wait
a tuiuute, sis, k and I’ll tell you whether or
k h T:?Siu %£* - **•—"«>■•
M .„tb 7 . T..h„ P «. a
-W’
“Steam up; start at once; go my self.
“Tmotbt True.”
The “ e operator did “jaiiox not stay swy to w write wriieix. it.
_
'
Tr ” , ' g °”* lr “ ay ’” h ‘‘“ M
8 f v ed ,,, The £i£ y 11 'jh'ld&otpohe u-m
'
stal . ald */Rer word. She
,E ®° “ a
could only , smile and bow her head and
‘7'°,^ ° ut tha mess ^ e ’ vhkh she
dld a ‘,‘. •
Laptam Rose eye was on the , speck. ,
s
“? ?*,' d d 1 ? red a ?5 ln , not Meanwhile, ta ^ e R off J® the 5 " news never got
‘
abroad j that Captain Lose had tele
graphed to Cornwall for a tug, and the
°, f .® ar '®. r ‘
*nthe little boat and . . had , .
again again
V 10 tried to turn its head toward
the , land, j but with each tnal it took in
8< ? much " at ®j: th8t he ^ forc ^ }°
give up the attempt. offaud -N . othing the could be
done but keep face boiling
™a S^ing topt^brillng & as fastas possible,' b !
‘• "*
At length came a wave like a small
hil ’’ “P wh j® h boat ^ od ®
and th en suddenly -ichard , shouted:
They re coming for us, mother. I
seea boatjust outside the harbor
Then tbe t * ars s P ran ?.. to Mr 9 - Swin 8 8
eyes l b , S e sto PP ed ' balb ? g f . or a
ment to . look towards toe shore. , AH
8 S® 8ee was a wal1 of water sbnt '
Rag out the land. . 4
“Courage, mother ” Dick said.
tver y nse a ° d fe “? f the oar was a
P. 1 ^ ^ery dip of the poor old crab
shell was a petition for life.
u ^ om ^. e ^ S8ven
mdes .. to , the eastward, and hidden from
al ffht by Bright Head, steamed the tug
° ood ^ ever h ad lts Ca P tel “
stood f watching the sea with . more earnest
S aze - ^ ever w as steam applied with
more generous hand. ’Twas the woman
and the boy m toe boat out at sea that
lived in the gaze, in the steam and in the
fue l. and Good Heart bore away with
cordial speed till Bright Head was won
and weathered.
* s f shouted the Captain,
“though how it’s lived to get there’s
more n * kQ0W » an ^ 516 S ave directions
to steam Aitsida
Richard’sattentionwassodiridedbe- ......
, tween the billows and the land and the
fnendl >' b oat . »cd Airs. Swing was so in
tent 011 Bailing, , that neither them, of them and
saw the tug until it was upon
a hailing voice toouteft .
;! Hold °“ tll !^ e P lck J ou U P'
It seemed as if a voice from heaven had . .
?P oken ; hven bl “ S °' d C ?P tam R ° s ? u /
1 ,^ be beRr lf 5, ° f th ? church ejaculated,
“Thank God!” as he saw the tug come
to '
/‘/ e sbock . . ° f . the cal1 ; the sight of the
black v throbbing tug, friendly as they
seemed, yet came near swamping the
boat - f ° r Rl ® hard letitturnand the last
stren S th he had was P ut £° rth J? bold '
mg it up to the wind until a line was
cast off, and even then he had no power
to make it fast. It was Mrs. Swing who
£5ed to obey the command* that came
hut eould not.
i ma'ly the tug’s boat was lowered. _ It
oJfice - R’fhard and his motherhad
, b eeu saved.
“Give’em a signal! Give ’em three!”
and the steam whistle blew three shrieks
? hat went over the bay and up the har
b ° ra ? d °I®r, a = al / st * h ?// etiDg kouse
®n his knees to uttei the n S' first prayer of
thankfulness his little Dolly had ever
beard ber fatner offer.—iTew York
hra P nK -
^ ‘ e ' ork __. Longacre. .______
A correspondent wants to know why
the vicinity of Broadway, from Fortieth
to Fiftieth street, is called “Longacre.”
The reason is because there area great
many carriage makers there. Some of
the largest carriage manufactories locality,either in toe
world have chosen that for
stores or factories. The name comes
, from London, where there is a locality
known as “Longacre,” which is noted as
the centre of the Y'ork carriage trade, and
naturally the New locality got toe
same name in the same way that a good
many other London names have got
settled in New York. There is one dif
ference, however. In the London Long
i acre the streets are rather narrow, while
1 in the New Y'ork Longacre toe street*
are wide. At the junction of Broadway,
Seventh avenue,and Forty-second street,
the street becomes very wide. The
carriage makers settled there when the
j The land was origin not of so the valuable term “Longacre” as it is now. in
London goes back to antiquity .—New
York Sun.
The “Glare” of Onr White Skins.
Notomg XT ... is . more „ ro common than for .
! ^ RUropeens to individualizing complain of the difficulty
they have in the of the men white Of dark
races ho to eye man
se /“ al n ln ? ore or le9S al * e - Tbe “»twes
of Ind,a . bave •PP weBt, J tbe same dlft ;
I tbe .. Lancashire with whRe Regiment men Some stationed men of at
Benares recently broke loose and raided
re g iln ent wits paraded, and the villagers
! , S? ro as / d t ” V om } tbe g ul lty men.
The >' ab soI , u tely failed to do so in a
8ln S le caso > whereupon a nntire paper,
j comme ? doubt ’ ltl of ”g it. ° n , t / no < i //Ik of the 4 most ’ sayS difficult j-/ A< ?l
feats under tbe sun 18 identify Euro
? >ea, ’ s they areiso much ahkowi to their
lo «d, giarmg white color. We wonder
whether them friends and rdaUons are iit
a oss 83 to w l ° 8 wbo ‘ London Globe.
Jerusalem is fast becoming toe city of
the Jews. In 1880 there were not more
than 5000 Jews there; ( now there we
more than 80,OOP. i
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOCRCE&
One In a Thousand—Bad Enough
ts He Was— Helping the Hun¬
gry- Keith Tired—His
Inheritaiici 1 - Etc.
.. „ h „ „
^JSMSanSr-*
, , ... _
But Her still, feet alJlWMmcke^?T^bt,’ demanded-“More.'
n. PUS 1 '
Would flounce away in ire.
Not she! Anmte broke from her eye*,
8'“<^r w „v 7 A^ t “^li Te ^ ’ g ’
—Burlington Free Press.
—
Bad Enough as He Was.
“Hooray!” cried Cadley, “I feel like
anew man.”
“Oh, please don’t,” retorted Bromley.
“Don’t be any newer than usual, Cadley.
You are too fresh, naturally."— Bazar,
-
Helping the Hungry.
.. Iwish I Thf JZa Ton would ^ 1anV- help me a little ”
said the teamp ‘ T haven t eaten any
“H’m!” returned old Grinder; “I’m
-d tie it around you tightly, you won’t
feel 80 6mpty '
Both Tired.
hef* Sr, !, DmS „ t d cimins^reu^i^h'thU mi hired g aroUnd nirll Wlth “rook this
D rii ire red “ Girl Girl iwrathfnlli (wratofullyj— i “Well Well, I I’m m
tS^ouTo ? C—“WelL^vou iffiim” ^ W °
B Lt mav tell vour boss
that that this tffis^smylastcall. is mv calL ”
g. G. Voux^lasti J) ^
’ Heaven’”
_
His inheritance
; i , T r „ n i, 2 llnr ; Br 1 .t„ n a EnM r ■> t.M hi
father, . why you toouid 6 quarrel so
much with Tommy White. Your mother
tells me you quarrel with him most of the
time.
thoughtfully. “I can’t help “I it, pa,” 1 replied Bobby,
guess must get my
disposition from you and ma. "-Bazar.
The Intelligent Juror.
“How do vou vote, Si, guilty or not
guilty?” “Guilty.”
“Oh, now, see here. It’s a plain
case of not guilty. What makes you
think him guilty?”
“What makes me think him guiity!
Wal, I’ll tell ye. If the man ain’t guilty,
bow’d he come to git arrested?”— Mun
-.ey's Weekly.
A Good Feature.
sg^he^lay mo^el sculptor’s studio
^ Kn of the itin" buat of her
husband change dfsire any par
b TO uinav lookfd ’’hesaid
/n widow o°e at it with tearful
"e e “ u is large “|n '
la n e is a B of ^oodnes= ”
| =
!aid the artist
T he V widow wined away her tears iff and
5ohbe “WelLtoenmake little
ar = er '
Pat His Foot wj in His Mouth.
Mr* Robinson entertainine some
-” a - ue salQ ' ,71/
hanaea rouna, may T i nave som
,® u , e ’ pleas °' ”
..twg fnnnt? funny, _ coinme ?J e ^ Bobby. Rohhv
x v ^ ° f
London
-
A Woman's Reasoning.
“No, Mr. Sampson,” she says sweetly,
“I can never be your wife. We would
not be happy. Y'ou are too extravagant
in your habits.”
Extravagant!” misinformed, he repeated. “You
have been Miss Lulu. I
am as economical as a Brooklyn deacon,
Why, I have to be.”
“Then lean never be your wife, Mr.
Sampson.” economical?”
“Because I’m
“No, because you have to be econ
omical 1”
In a Safe Place.
Business Man (to new confidentia
clerkl—“Here, Waggerly, careful is that toe
combination. Be very
don’t lose it”
“Yes sir.”
Business Man (next morning)
haven’t you opened the safe yet?”
“No, sir, I couldn’t.”
“You haven’t lost that slip, I
“No, niiht sir; but I put it inside toe
loot last night. n -Boston Beacon. «
Mrs. Malaprop's Latest.
Mrs. Malaprop has come to town
usual work with this the season same and disregard ’ 8 ^“ing in S ®
as always characterizes her
circes are now laughing with over of a Mrs
lingual M.’s who originating quite well-known. one One
is
herdaughters, a beautiful girl, has
sitting to a sculptor, and some one
the lady what was daughter being done having
she replied, of my her hand. is
bust made
Critic.
Entitled to Ride Free.
Saturday a poorly-dressed, boarded
appearing man a When
Cottage Grove avenue car.
conductor asked for his fare the man
[died that he was out of change, but
lie guessed he could ride to
street. ,
“No, you can t unless you have t
money to pay for it, ’the conductor
swered.
“Well, now I jest kin. I see that sign
there afore I got on this car, savin’:
Sixty-third street without
Chicago Maid.
___
cintillatlons From the Sanctum,
•‘The product of to® consumption cotton plant
era largely into the of
ieqple in ’one way and another,
Snbscrlptioa: $115 in Adnm
marked toe casual caller, as he put a few
choice replied exchanges in editor hia pocket he “Yea/* toe
the snake as put
® em orandum of a bright idea on bis
scratch pad. “Now, besides the textile
uses of cotton, we have cottonseed oil 1
used in the manufacture of lard.”
“Yes,” assented the snake editor im¬
patiently. “And I suppose,” added the
caller, “that judiciously passing will be out drinking of the
eotton-gitt,”— door, soon l‘M»hurg we Chronicle- Tele¬
graph.
businessman, sunsSTSSTS I The .%.«. stars tell ;
see. me
that you expect to add to your fortunes ‘
Portly. Your thoughts are entirely on
money. Am I not right, sir?
you will receive. There will be no
trouble about it; no delays of any kind.
0ae dol]ar p ; eage . Always come to me I
when you want advice. Everything
touch turns to gold.” I did here
“You mistake. not come
to have my fortune told. I am the pro
prietor of the grocery store around the ,
corner, and I would like you to pay this
bill, three weeks overdue.” I
“Ahem! Please call again.”— PhUa
ddpia Record.
-
Gave Himself Away.
“How did I get this black eye?” re
Plated the drummer, as he buckled the
“Rraps ^ to his satchel. “Well, I tried to
^
g Id and in a
chap^^ The ticket
’pulled his guu, Shoved it into the
and got his ticket ten seconds
It was a hint for me.”
"And you accepted it?”
“I did. I shoved my revolver into
tbe w tndow and gave the ticket man a
Quaner o{ a minute to »et me a paste
board.”
“And he jumped ?”
“He did-jumped J P out of his office
and broke m e m t wo over a baggage
track He , s gQt my revolver , et .„
‘ But how did it happen to work in
one case and fail in another:”
“Oh, I couldn’t keep my voice from
trembling, and then I didn’t have long
hair and a buJalo overcoat. He got
right j* onto me f or a Hkc."-Detroit Free
Talking Shop.
Scene—The Composing Room of an
Agricultural Foreman—“Jim, Paper. what doing?”
are you
Jim—“Settingup” Farm.'” ‘A Y’oungMan on a
Stock
Foreman-“When Pigs'on you get through the inside, with
that, put‘A Few
and ‘An Efficient Lightning Rod’ at
top of the first column.”
Jim— “What must I do with the
‘Spanish Foreman—“Distribute Itch' and 'Texas them Fever?’ and ” then
try and get in this ‘Sure Cure for Hog
Cholera.' Let Sam set up‘A Good Cow
Shed’ and ‘A Pleasant Summer Drink,’
and give Joe ‘The Hollow Horn.’ If
he wants more let him have ‘Home
Made Cheese’ and “Gherkin Pickles.’
^hat did you do with that Money in
£ aHy Broilers F”
Jim-“It's locked up. So is ‘Consti
P a ted Colt.’ The devil made a lot o’
pi out of ‘Elegant Corn Bread’ and
‘Nice Tomato Sauce’ and is now going
for a ‘Good Farm Dinner.’ ”
Foreman-“Where is that‘Fine Young
Holstein Bull For Sale?’ I can’t find it”
,!im-“Reckou not. It’s dead two
weeks ago, and taken out”
Foreman—“Can you get Jones and
Smith's big Jack in this week?”
Foreman—“What did you do with that
. Mammoth yellow Yam?”’
Jim-“Thar had Bustle.’” to give place to ‘A
Home-made Wire
! Foreman (petulantly) P — “Shoot the
bustle’ We a in't runnin’ a fuhion
paper 1 p .”—^Southern Live Stock Journal.
No More Speculation for Him.
“Y'aas, there’s money made in stocks,
no doubt,” said the old man as he re¬
moved his hat and ran his fingers through
his gray locks, “but it’s a risky biziness;
it’s suthin' like bettin’ on where light
ning's going to strike, with the odds of
hiring the tree you stand under.”
“Then you never speculate the ?”
“Never. I dig with along another, on and old farm, pull
taking old one crop when I’ve nothing else to
ing stumps if don’t make shakes
do; and I any great
I haven't anything to worry over. I had
a purty solemn warning cured during of toe specula- coal
ile excitement and it me
tion.”
“How was that:
“Waal, I was a widower then; wife
down the well and was drawn out as
st *ff as a P°Ler. I had a big far.m, lots
stock and f« caded P ur ‘L s ?. lld ', We
a11 got excited about ile and all of us
dug more or less ho.es in search of the
stulf - A11 of a sudden a 'widder living
about two miles from me found lie in a
dozen p!aces on her farm. She was a
widder with a bad nose, freckles all over
her face, eyes on a squint and built up
like a camel. But when she struck ile
^ ^ & different thing . I guess some
s j x or seveu 0 f us began g courting that
, widow within sixteen ours 0 f the sight
| of th>t ile j know the procession
h d { the F gate to the house.”
i
t
didn’t, and that’s what
-
: ; ^nff ^ j j Somehow or other I
w( >rk U p to the pint. That
k j n der stood in the way every time
^ wag read y t o put the question. She
acted like she wanted me, but Deacon
^hifeh.'^ °* ^ ^
m
,, Ancl thell w hat!”
u Xothing , except she had dosed that
- arm wbb 3 barrel of lie and thus got a
Jiusban d for herself and a home for her
fjve cb i]d r en. When the news came out
j wa8 s0 co ld along the backbone that
they had to kiver me up with a hoss
blanket, and since that time I haven’t
^ ad ^ be nerve t 0 bu y eggs a t seven cents
a ddzen and hold ’em for a rise.”
A peculiarity of the Chinese tea
growers and dealers is that they make
no progress in tea culture or in prepar
ing the leaf for market.
A slight-of-hand ffWtor .—Burlington performance—Re- Free Press.
jeering
SPRING FANCIES.
\ r J
j.
the rotrsa xav.
Ik the spring the youth his person in tbe 1st
est fashions decks,
And begins to east ad miring glan ces on toe
other sex;
In the spring a nameless yearning, something
that he cannot trace,
Comes upon him when he meets a
with a pretty face;
And the fluttering of a ribbon, or the per
fume of a glove, # j
Thrills his pulses, and his “fancy lightly
turns to thoughts of love.”
*• a
n.
thi tothto won aw.
. maiden doffs th.
-«»■
than before,
Then she puts on light garments, snowy
laces, ribbons gay,
And a gorgeous hat the climax cap. of her
new spring array,
All the secrets of the toilet uses with a
woman's .kill,
For her heart, too, is responsive to the sea
son's magic thrill
in.
both.
Boon some strange mysterious proce** brings
together youth and maid; ,
There are meetings in the moonlight, (here
are whisperings in the shade,
Wanderings delate. in secluded place* often HU the
Ixivingglanc® sweet confessions, stolen
life m
^ m . s cap .
Wde’s surrender, explanation, and deboon.
ma kings up. *
When the tender grass is springing and the
opening buds appear,
When the birds are gayly singing, and the
skies are blue and clear,
rhus its course in spring love runneth, cul¬
minating in the May,
With parental blessings and the naming of
the wedding day. Courier.
—Boston
PITH AND POINT.
Round about riding pleasure—Equestrian academy ring. ex¬
ercise in toe
In New Y'ork a sign of wealth is a dia¬
mond pin. In Philadelphia it is a ter¬
rapin. exclaim when
What most husbands
the dressmaker’s bill is presented—
“Ahem!”
The only gems that are .—Binghamton a drug in the
market—Gems of thought
Republican.
Bjones—“There's not much encourage¬
ment to be good in this world. ” Merritt
—“We never thiuk so until we • are
caught doing bad .”—New York Sun.
- Sophronia keeps out of the kitchen
And says, with a withering husband look,
She could never endure her
To aver that be married a cook.
—GoodalCs Sun.
Would-be Patron—“What is the legs!
fare for ten blocks?” Cabman—“Dunne.
If yon want ter know Philadelphia'’Re¬ anything ’bbnt
law go ter a lawyer.”—
cord.
Never a woman with a secret entrust, - *
.
She sureiy will tell, or else sfce would bust,
But one secret she'll ke?p; this truth roc may
mysterious gauge— secret of her exact
The own age ■
The locomotive is no coward, bjit it
will run at a minute’s notice, it will
back out of a tight place in a hurry, and
it takes water whenever it gets the
chance.— Washington Critic.
“I see Brown’s store is closed now by
an injunction,” said Mrs. ’ll Spriggia* they have
“What new-fangled father’s thing boy good
next. In time a was
enough to close a store.”— Bazar.
A young divine tells a story of a groom
who, after toe marriage ceremony,
slipped a two-dollar-bill into his hand,
murmuring, apologetically, Harper’s Magazine. “I’ll do
better next time.”—
Woman has got two sets of eye* ’tis said.
With one set she will look right straight
ahead, will strictly
And with the other set con
Just what a passing woman has got on.
—GoodalVs Sun ■
Mia. Ketchon—“Did you knock at
the door when you came to-night,
George?" Mr. Tumblety— “Yes, (shyly) Amy.
Why do you ask?” Miss Ketcbon
_“I thought perhaps you had come
with a ring .”—New York Sun.
Relics of Chicago’s Great Fire.
hanging “Do you see there?” that asked old photograph in
up a man
Clayton’s place. “Well,” he continued,
“that is the old court house—toe ruins
of it after the great fire of 1871, I mean.
Up in that shattered tower hung toe flames big
bell. Of course, it fell when the
destroyed its supports. J . don’t know
whether Harry Everhart caught the it ground or not
as it fell, but he was soon on
and secured the debris. Before the fire
was out he had purchased the remains of
the bell and had arranged to have toe
bell metal modeled into small bells, as
‘relics of the fire.’ Every one around
town soon wore upon his watch chain a
tinkling reminder of the big disaster. sold
At first these miniature beLs fox
$1.50 each, and every one was accom¬
panied by a certificate attesting its genu¬
ineness. The depot for these little bells
was in an old dwelling in the brick mock
at the northeast corner of Wabash avenue
and .arman street. I would not say
that Harry ‘watered his stock’ exactly,
but he sold thousands of small
more, in fact, than it would seem could
be molded from toe big court h^uso
bell. Pretty soon, as the novelty wore
off, the price went down, and finally
you could buy a small court house bell
relic for a quarter .”—Chicago Herald.
Why the Teeth Chatter.
It is toe through that toe skin, receive and only
through skin, The we chattering sensa¬ of
tions of temperature.
the teeth from the feeling of cola is
caused by what is termed reflex action
of the muscles of the jaw. When an
impression is made on the sensitive
surface of the skin it is conveyed, by an
excitor nerve to the spinal cold, and is
there reflected back on the musclfs^xy a
corresponding motor nerve, toe- action
being involuntary, like that of anv«toer
mechanism. Chattering sneesing^riiatoe’s of the'tBlth, as
well as shivering and toe cir cql atinqj-.orTihe
effort to restore
blood which has accumulate® in the
ilarger near toe heart.